02x11 - Seth Is a Salesman / Less Nestorman

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

If you're watching this show from a bicycle,

I hope you're wearing a helmet.

♪♪♪

Guess what time it is, richard!

That's right!

It's time to watch a little mop versus broom

Before I head to work.

Better check for optimal tv-watching conditions.

[Humming]

One too many.

[Sighs]

Three, two, one, and...

Reality host: last week on mop versus broom,

Broom learned that getting wet is harder than it seems.

What a mess that was! [Chuckles]

Reality host: today...

Mop learns a hard lesson

While trying to clean up all-purpose flour.

Better buckle up, this one's gonna get wild!

Reality host: stay tuned.

Scaredy: ugh. Commercials.

Everything tastes better when it's on a stick,

So make your food better with yummy grubby sticks!

Now you can have squash-on-a-stick,

Donuts-on-a-stick, stuffing-on-a-stick,

Mustard-on-a-stick, soup-on-a-stick,

And deep-fried-stick- on-a-stick!

They should rethink the soup.

Duck: ♪ who's a real keener? Scrubby duck! ♪

♪ I'll clean your kitchen, your fireplace ♪

♪ And when I'm done I'll clean your face! ♪

♪ I'm scrubby duck!

Ugh.

Reality host: and now, back to mop versus broom.

Finally!

Reality host: right after these commercials.

Oh, come on! [Sighs]

I may as well just head to work early.

I'll just record it.

[Humming]

Hey, mister, you wanna buy a watch?

How bout a pen?

How 'bout a watch that turns into a pen?

Ta-dah!

Interesting,

But, uh, I'm headed to work so-

Seth is the name

And selling unique items you can't live without

At what seems like incredibly low prices

Is my game!

Okay. Wow. Great slogan.

I should go now.

I'm the best door to door salesman in town!

In fact, I can even sell a door to a door!

Check it!

[Knocks] hey, door, wanna buy a door?

Hmm... Nobody's home.

I'll come back later.

[Laughing]

That's the best salesman joke there is,

And it can be yours for a very low price!

Um, it's a good joke but I really do have to run.

Have a nice day!

Well, I don't sell just anything, friend.

I sell something. A whole lotta somethings!

Big somethings! Little somethings!

Somethings for carrying your other somethings!

Ain't that something.

It sure is!

I bet you could use this!

A singing toaster!

[Singing operatically] ♪ I'll heat you up to eat you up ♪

♪ Please let me be

♪ I have a family!

Scaredy: [sniffles]

That was beautiful!

Haha!

But I've already got a toaster.

How about chewing gum from the future?

There's nothing there.

That's because it's from the future!

It hasn't been invented yet!

Hmm... No.

How about a nice pair of overpants!

Those look a lot like underpants.

No-no! No-no!

You wear these over your pants!

Scaredy: I'm not sure tha-

Wow. Nice overpants! [Belches]

Thanks. See? They're all the rage!

I don't really like rage.

It can be yours today for half the price

Of the full price plus 112%.

One day only, gotta act fast!

No. I can't.

Look, seth, I have a job to do here

And I have very limited time for shenanigans.

See?

Stacker duties. Lunch, bathroom, and hand-washing.

Blinking, and shenanigans.

I can't use up my shenanigan time with you

Because my buddy dave always causes some sort of-

Dave: scaredy, today, I'm going to-

[Crash]

So as you can see,

Listening to your sales pitch

Jeopardizes my pie chart of efficiency.

Sorry.

Davw: awwww!

Hmm. Efficiency, eh?

Hey, pal, hang on there.

Got a minute for your buddy seth?

Ooh, no. I have to water richard,

Vacuum twice and pre-wash my dishes

Before making dinner.

What a shame!

I was hoping to introduce you to the efficiency line

From doctor efficiency of efficiency inc.!

Doctor efficiency?

Seth: he was so efficient

He invented everything he wanted to in one day

And then retired!

That does sound efficient!

And all his inventions are designed

With that same kind of efficiency.

Never scrub a dirty dish again.

Let the dishmeister 2000 do all the hard work for you!

Hmm. Then I could save my elbow grease for my elbows.

They get so dry in winter. But then again-

No time to shower at home?

Take your shower with you!

The power shower centre straps to your noggin!

You'll be scrubbed, shampooed and blow-dryed

In less than a minute!

Well, I guess that could come in handy.

Who has time for the barber?

Vac-u-fur clippers will give you that perfect 'do

In seconds!

My my!

Wow! That sounds-

No, I really have to water my plant so-

And you can try the entire efficiency line

Free of charge for 24 hours!

So just try them for a day and then-

Then decide if you want to buy them.



Mm-mm! Frozen yogurt!

Well, I guess there's no harm in trying them out.

Completely 100% commitment free!

Do not pay for 24 hours! No ifs, ands, or buts!

You break it, you buy it!

Polly wanna cr*cker, and bob's your uncle!

Dave: incoming watermelon skunk!

Agh!

Aghhhh!

Whoa! Awesome ride.

Time to eat my helmet!

Whoa! Are you opening a box store?

These are inventions from doctor efficiency.

I have 24 hours to try them.

Does anyone wanna help?

Ooh, ooh! Me, me! Pick me!

Scaredy! Over here! Please!

I pick dave!

Yes! In your face no one else!

Come on! We've only got 23 hours

And 37 minutes to go!

[Clicking] huh?

Waghhhhh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, waaagggghhhhh!

Run!

Dave: agghhh!

This doesn't look safe.

Who cares? Free haircut!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Who knew vacuum scissors

Could chase someone for that long?

Okay, on to the power shower centre!

[Whirring]

Agh!

[Struggling screaming]

Aghhhh!

Whoooaaaaaa!

Oh...

Aghhhhh!

Have fun, scaredy!

Scaredy: none of these gadgets work.

They would make my life less efficient!

I'm just gonna give them all back.

[Knocking]

Who could that be?

Whaddaya say, friend?

How was your 24 hour trial period?

Terrible! And it's actually only been 2 hours

And 14 minutes.

Hmm... Let's check my watch, which is also a microwave.

Hot cocoa! Dee-lish!

[Slurp] according to my watch, it's been well over 25 hours!

How is that possible?

Seth: this watch is from australia, my friend,

So it spins backwards!

[Buzzing] your trial period is over.

What? No!

If that's- and then- but you-

Unh-unh!

I said, "no ifs, ands or buts!"

Will that be cash or cheque?

But they don't even work!

Oh, maybe you'd like to buy this then.

It's the world's smallest violin playing just for you.

Sounds like I'm mocking you, but look.

[Snap]

But I don't want any of this junk!

Not my problem! You now owe me...

What?

You've got until 9 a.m. Tomorrow to pay up,

Or I'll have to take...

Oh, I don't know... Your house!

You can't just take my house!

Well, then you'd better sign here.

Oops! Wrong form!

This one says I can just take your house.

[Gulps] see ya soon, chump! [Smarmy laugh]

What am I gonna do? [Knocking]

What now? Got the money you owe me?

You said I had until 9 a.m.!

Yes, but this clock is from japan.

It's already 10 a.m. Over there.

Now he has to pay in yen?

But I don't have yen or money!

Seth: out you go!

Scaredy: [crying]

Yen is money.

[Crying] I know that.

Not sure you did.

Scaredy: seth, please, you can't take my house!

Yes, yes, I'm afraid can.

You're selling it?

Let's head on in, folks! I'll give you the tour!

[Excited chatter]

Paddy: agh! Smells like squirrel.

Paddy?

Maybe I'll buy it, tear it down,

Build something, you know, classy.

[Crying]

Place this nice is gonna go fast.

Who wouldn't want to live here?

I gotta find a way to get my house back!

[Gasps] maybe one of dr. Affectionate's gadgets can help.

Hmm... You know what, dave?

You're right.

We're gonna give seth a taste of his own medicine!

Step right up! Step right up!

Be the first in your neighbourhood

To own the most amazing,

Time-saving inventions ever made!

[Crickets chirp]

Dave: and free ice cream!

Scaredy: ladies and gentlemen,

Nothing goes with a brand new apartment

Like brand new futuristic gadgets! Right, dave?

Right, dave!

Check this out!

Make dirty dishes a thing of the past

With the new dishmeister 2000!

Dave: [makes mechanical sounds]

Would you look at that!

Seth: but, but- how did you do-

It's so clean you could eat off it!

And never spend hours in the shower again

With the brand new power shower centre!

Check it out!

[Water running sounds]

Ah! It's so refreshing!

[Blow dryer sounds]

Ta-da! [Clicks his teeth]

Seth: that's impossible.

Does that really work?

I'm clean enough to eat off of!

And stop wasting time at the barbershop

With this dandy little diddy that'll give you a dapper 'do!

[Suction sounds]

Ta-da! [Coughing and choking]

[Splat] crowd: [in awe] oooh...

I'm so handsome I'm eating!

How is that possible?

And normally you would have to pay a lot

For these gadgets,

Right, dave?

Billions of yen!

I'll take them! Whatever you want!

I'll take them all! Right now!

Today there's a special deal just for you, sir.

All of these items can be yours

If you just rip up that contract I signed.

Seth: sold! Just give me those good golly gadgets!

Oh, I'm gonna be rich.

Follow me, folks! Bring your wallets!

[Chuckles]

Seth: step right up! Step right up!

Get the new power shower centre!

[Pained grunts]

Don't go to the barber! Why...

[Blades snap viciously, seth grunts in pain]

Will that be cash or cheque?

Perfect!

Reality host: today, mop learns a hard lesson

While trying to clean up all-purpose flour.

Well, everybody's gotta learn a lesson sometime.

Reality host: stay tuned.

[Fast forwarding sound]

Whoa! Whoa! I love commercials!

As a matter of fact, the next commercial I see,

I am buying that product!

Okay. Ready? Here it comes!

♪♪♪

Nestor! Quality assurance check!

But they're made of styrofoam and paste.

[Spits] why would you do that?

Real cupcakes aren't safe to stack!

Remember the icing incident in chestnutville last summer?

What a tasty tragedy.

Momma: nestor!

I don't pay you to eat!

Scaredy: don't!

Mmm... Delicious.

I hate delicious!

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't give your job

To the next person I see?

[Grunts of effort]

[Fart blasts]

Crowd: [panicked screaming]

Or the next next person I see.

But momma i-

Lestor: momma?

I'm home!

Ah! Lestor!

Nestor: lestor?! Scaredy: lestor?

Momma: my son!

It's been so long!

I've missed you too, ma.

Momma: lestor is my number one son.

Your number one son?

So many wonderful times.

Aghhhh!

[Crying]

[Crying]

Ha! Yeah.

That was a lame sock puppet. Ha-ha.

Yeah. Remember how you hated the googly eyes, momma?

Ha-ha. Remember the hate?

Ah, come on, nessie.

I left those childhood things way behind me.

Uh, yeah. Me too.

I didn't know you had a brother, nestor.

Ugh! He's nothing special.

Lestor: you're right.

I've just been spending the last few years

Travelling the world,

Completing my degree at oxbird university.

No biggie.

Oxbird! You hear that, nestor?

Nope! La-la-la-la-la-la-la!

Studied grocery store management.

Not sure where I might get a job, but-

The annoying store just called and they-

You can have nestor's job and his room!

[Gasps and squawks]

You're making me sleep in the guest room?

Don't be silly!

The guest room is for guests!

Wow! Nestor, what are you gonna do?

Me? I'll be fine.

I'll go travelling to some fancy school

And become a doctor-astronaut lawyer-plumber-

Pizza-making president.

Then who'll run the store?

He will.

I thought that was pretty clear.

Fine!

I'm just giving this to charity.

[Sobbing]

Lestor: that nestor. Always a stand-up guy.

Nestor? Nestor who?

Ooh, cold.

I wonder if anything's gonna be different

Now that lestor's in charge?

Lestor: scaredy!

Great work on that castle display.

You're complimenting me?

Hey. Hey. Listen to me.

Your work is beautiful.

You are an important part of this team.

[Crying with joy]

Nestor: [bwack]

Hello?

Nestor: get off my lawn!

Nestor! [Gasps]

What are you doing in here?

What are you doing in my house?

This is my display. You can't live here!

Tell that to my dirty laundry.

[Gasps, gagging]

But you're ruining all my work!

As long as golden boy's in charge

I don't have a choice.

I'm just gonna sit here all day and eat tuna.

That's cat food.

Meh. Whatever.

Maybe you and your brother could work together.

He seems pretty awesome-tastic.

Him? Wha? No!

I'm staying here and that's final.

Ech!

I've gotta fix this.

Lestor: [singing] ♪ chips of potato!

♪ Lestor is a good singer

[Chuckles] embarrassing.

I minored in major operas at oxbird.

How's our favourite stacker?

Awesome! What's with all the chips?

Oh, um, uh, just moving some stuff around.

Thought it would be helpful to put the newest products

At the front of the shelves.

I've been saying that for years!

[Chuckles] smart kid.

Say, what would you think about co-managing the store

With nestor?

He's a little, um, bored.

No. Momma wouldn't like it.

But nestor is, um, really good?

He can do pretty much any job

And I'm not just saying that.

Heh. Really.

Well, if nessie can show me he has what it takes,

I'll put a good word in to momma.

Thanks, lestor. That'll help me out a lot.

Nestor, help nestor out. I meant nestor. Thanks.

♪ Helping his brother

♪ Is there nothing lestor can't do? ♪

Scaredy: nestor!

Nestor! Gah!

Stop cramping my style!

Ooh! Peanut butter.

Nestor, great news!

You're back in business.

I'm manager again?

No! But you will be

Just as soon as you show lestor

All the amazing talents you have.

Oh.

Okay, time to show off your store greeter skills.

Nestor: hello.

Hello. Hello. Hello.

Alligator: excuse me, can you-

Do I look like I care? Do i?

Hello. Hello.

Now stacking!

[Cans clank]

Cashier.

[Belches]

[Belches louder]

[Belches]

[Loud, drawn out belch]

[Gags]

Scaredy: come on, nestor.

You've gotta at least try.

What does it matter?

I'll never be the... Number one son. [Crying]

Nothing's wrong with coming in second!

Unless there's only two of you.

Then it actually means you're coming in last.

Dead last.

I'll go see what lestor thought of your performance,

But it doesn't look good.

[Sniffs] wow. It stinks in here.

[Farts]

Wasn't there food here before?

Lestor: don't yell at me!

I'm doing it slowly so that no one suspects.

Just-just calm down.

[Knocks] lestor: shhh! [Clears throat]

Come in.

Hi, lestor. Oh, weird,

I thought I heard you talking to someone.

I was on the phone.

Where is your phone?

I don't worry about details.

I'm more of a big picture thinker.

I know nestor didn't really impress you.

He's just sad and he really needs-

Nessie? Nessie?

Nessie needs to leave forever

So he doesn't ruin everything!

Ruiner! Ruiner! Ruiner!

Are you still the nice boss?

I said, "good day, sir!"

No you didn't.

Hey, nestor!

Nestor? Are you around?

Lestor: all right, let's do this quickly.

Smithy: here's your cash for the aisle,

The phone, and the chips, see?

This isn't enough money, smithy.

I need more.

Smithy: relax.

I have a guy looking for a frozen food section, see?

Hmm. I have to be careful though,

My brother's still around.

He's the smartest meddler I know.

I'll have to keep an eye on him.

[Gasps] nestor!

You're not gonna believe what I just heard!

You're standing in my bathroom.

What do you mean there's nothing you can do?!

Just tell your mother!

Momma's not gonna believe me over lestor!

Besides, I'm not smart enough to beat him.

I'm just gonna take a long bath

In the soft cheese display.

No, wait!

Lestor said you were the smartest meddler he knows.

He said that?

Yes! You can save the store.

[Inhales deeply, starts coughing]

Oh, no, it's too late!

Look at me!

It's not too late!

Help me help you help me help save your helping store.

I think there was one too many helps in there.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Okay. Are you ready for operation

Save-the-store-by-stopping- your-brother-lestor-

And-putting-everything-back-

To-how-it-used- to-be extravaganza?

Nestor: yes!

You got the camera? Let's do this!

Don't worry, momma,

I'll find out who's stealing pieces of the store.

Whoever it is is gonna pay!

Well, it's probably nessie.

He's always been a troublemaker.

Hmm... I never trusted those shifty eyebrows.

I'm gonna go find him!

Almost there. Almost there.

Nestor: psst! Psst!

Hey, you lestor?

Who's asking?

Name's smithey. Smithy sent me.

I's looking to buy me a store wall, see?

What's the secret phrase?

[Squawks nervously]

I didn't know there was a secret phrase!

That's exactly it. Congratulations.

You just bought yourself a store wall.

Waits a minute. Is that a cracks in my wall?

Lestor: crack?

Scaredy: and you're busted!

Nestor and momma: you've been stealing the store!

Nestor: what? No, momma!

It's lestor!

He just tried to sell me that wall!

It's true! It's all on tape!

[Squawks]

You were supposed to catch it!

We never rehearsed that part!

Lestor: [chomps]

Now, mother, who are you going to believe?

Me? Or nessie?

Nestor: [gasps]

I'd know that gentle caress anywhere.

Would you believe mr. Stinkytoes!

The puppet?!

Lestor's been carrying around mr. Stinkytoes

The whole time.

Along with all the money he's made

Selling pieces of the store!

They're talking crazy.

I haven't been-

Oh, give him back!

Get your hand out of him!

Tell the truth or the sock gets it.

Fine! It was me.

We needed the money!

For what?

Lestor: studio time to record mr. Stinkytoes' new hit song.

Is this what you learned at oxbird university?

Peacock: [squawks]

Oxbird isn't a university, it's a loonie bin.

[Squawks]

All: what?

Uh, bye. [Crazy laughter]

Ah, why are you just standing there?

Get back to managing the store!

Right away, momma!

Hey, scaredy, I just wanted to say,

Clean up this cupcake castle!

It's disgusting!

Yes, sir, nestor. You got it.

Consider it done. Aye aye.

Nestor: how can you stand living like this?!

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ Scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Welcome to scaredy's safety corner.

I made raw egg salad sandwiches.

Dave, that's not safe.

See how good he is? Bam! Not safe.

Today, on safety corner,

We will be having a musical number.

Ooh! Ooh! Is it a safety song?

With a safety dance?

No, in order to get lestor to put the store back together,

I said mr. Stinkytoes could premiere

His new song on safety corner.

Oh boy.

♪♪♪

♪ I'm a friend that goes on your hand ♪

♪ Some people find it hard to understand ♪

♪ They wanna lock me away

♪ Say that I'm crazy

♪ But mr. Stinkytoes is here to stay! ♪

See? See? I'm not crazy!

[Crazy laughter]

So, um, stay safe! [Chuckles nervously]

[Sighs heavily]

Lestor: I told you!