01x09 - Children of the Acorn / Awaken the Stacker Within

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Don't touch that dial.

Seriously, it's covered in germs.

♪♪♪

[Chatter]

[Ripping sound]

Whatcha doin' there, dave?

If I ride the bike while I'm on the treadmill,

I get twice the exercise four times as fast.

I don't think you should be doing that.

Whoa! Oof! Ow!

Scaredy: dave! Are you-

Monkey: acorns! Acorns! Acorns!

Acorn-con is coming to balsa city

This weekend!

Surprise! Get ready for acorn-con!

Anything and everything acorn!

If you love acorns, collect acorns

And love acorns,

Don't miss acorn-con... Con...con!

That sounds terrifying.

Scaredy: c'mon, dave, we've gotta hurry!

Dave: he's got a thing for acorns. Squirrels!

[Gasps]

What does that unlock? An even smaller key?

[Beeping]

Dave: that was my second guess.

Scaredy: this is where I keep my collection of collections.

[Heavenly choir sings]

[Objects clatter, sheep bleat, elephant trumpets]

I started this acorn hat collection

When I was a little kid.

Look, I'm only missing one.

If I can find it before acorn-con then-

What? What? Wha-wha-what?

I get to go on stage and everyone will clap at me.

And trophies and prizes and stuff?

Nope. Polite applause.

Time for an acorn mission. You with me?

[Energizing] I said, are! You! With me? Let's do it!

Wait! I'm not with you!

Do you need this one?

Dave...

Dave: how about one of these?

Scaredy: whoa-oa-oa!

Helping is fun!

[Pained groan]

[Acorns clatter]

Dave: on it!

[Grunts of effort]

[Straining]

[Huge fart]

Bound to happen. Bound to happen.

[Fan whirs] totally natural.

Let me try.

[Saw whirs]

♪♪♪

Dave: are any of these good?

[Splash]

Ahhhhhh!

Were they good?

[Rope cranks]

[Bubbling]

[Shark growls]

Aaaagh! [Wimpering]

This is fun!

Scaredy: there's only one place in town left to check!

Moderately sized mountain. C'mon!

Wow. That name is really deceiving.

[Laughing] yeah. Ready?

Actually, I don't think I'm ready to-

Yeeeew! Bonzai!

Oh! Ooh! Stop! Stop!

I found it!

Everything's coming up sca-ahh-ahh-ahhhhhhhh!

Uh-oh.

Ugh! Agh!

Sorry!

[Buzzing] easy, easy...

[Struggling] whoo!

Up! Up! Up!

Woo hoo-hoo! Run!

But I'm tired!

Scaredy: k*ller bees!

Dave: ruuuunnnn!

[Buzzing] agghhhhh!

[Buzzing]

[Buzzing]

[Buzzing]

[Buzzing]

[Buzzing]

We did it!

My collection's complete with a full day to spare.

All right!

Bee! Gah!

[Running screams]

Aghhhhh! Agh!

Oh...dizzy.

Pretty.

Hi. Hey. Yeah.

I dropped that and I really-

I found it! Mine! [Giggles]

Yeah, but see, I've got a collection.

Please, I really need it so that i-

Mine!

Let me try.

Hello. The acorn you are holding

Belongs to my friend sc-

Ow! Ow! Make her stop! Ow!

It's not polite to point.

Dave: tell her whatever she wants to hear.

She's loco!

He's bossy! [Giggles]

Dave's not bossy, he's just-

I'm bossy! I'm bossy!

Look, do you-do you think I can have that acorn hat

You found?

Hmm, maybe. Do you like dollies?

I'm having a tea party!

Hmm... I'm not really a tea party kind of...

Yes, I do like tea parties.

Yay! My backyard. Three o'clock.

♪ La la-la la-la la-la ♪

This'll never fit in my nose again.

[Gulp]

Are you enjoying your tea, princess pretty-cakes?

Uh, my name is actually-

[Giggles] not you, silly! Princess pretty-cakes.

Yeah, I like the tea.

Louder!

Yes, I love tea!

I always thought your voice would be higher than that.

[Higher] yes. I love-

Higher!

[Gasps]

[Really high] yes, I love tea.

[Shatters]

[Giggles]

Good party.

♪ La la-la la-la la-la! ♪

Bu-but th-the acorn!

So pretty. Mine.

Uh, I'll... I'll trade you for it.

[Evil laugh]

Scaredy: you, uh, sure this how

You wanna use the stickers I bought you?

Okay. What... Fun.

Getting back to what I was talking about-

My acorn.

Dave: pssst! Scaredy!

Pointy.

Ah, don't hurt me. I just wanna talk to my friend.

The acorn thingy is today.

Did you get the hat back?

Does it look like I got it back?

Is it under one of the stickers?

Dave, I just need to spend

A little more time with this girl,

And she'll give me the acorn for sure!

Time for a makeover!

This can't end well.

♪♪♪

Yay! Pony!

I said pony!

Scaredy: neigh.

[Crying]

[Crying]

[Crying]

[Crying]

[Screams]

[Balloons pop]

[Crying]

Wow, it's been a lot of fun today,

But I really need that acorn hat so-

[Giggles] be a good clown and do something funny.

But I've got- funny!

You ever notice how bears seem to vanish in the winter?

What's the deal with that?

[Taps mic, mic feedback squeals]

Seriously, nothing? Okay, wait.

Let's see what came in the clown kit.

[Unicycle wheel squeaks]

Juggle these.

Agh!

Hey. I'm doing it!

Look at me! I'm a funny clown!

♪ Funny, funny, funny clown!

Dave: hey, scaredy, we're all ready for the-

Oh, sweet mother of crazy!

♪ Funny, funny, I'm a funny- ♪

Oh, hey.

This, uh, isn't as pathetic as it looks.

Buck: you're right. How could it be?

Dave: so, you coming?

What's the point?

I'm never gonna get that last acorn hat.

[Crying]

Don't cry, mister.

The tears of a clown. Huh.

Now that's pathetic.

Here. Don't cry, 'kay?

Huh? Crying gets me what I want?

[Giggles] works for me.

Scaredy: thank you.

More juggling!

Dave: oopsie! Scaredy: my acorn hat!

Will you be my clown?

Awww... No.

Uh-oh! Uaaaghhh!

Aghhhh!

Uh-oh! Coming in too fast!

[Splash]

[Fart]

Yes!

[Panting] do you still have time to make it to acorn-con?

Yes I do!

This little fella belongs in my booklet.

Did you drop it?

Agh!

[Trains zoom by]

[expl*si*n]

It's okay, I'll still clap for you.

[Claps]

Actually, that's sadder.

Monkey: cashews! Cashews! Cashews!

Oh, that's right balsa city!

Next weekend it's cashewpolooza!

One day only! [Monkey screeches]

[Gasps]

Oh no. No, no, no.

Come on, let's go!

♪♪♪

Narrator: most canned food historians agree,

Of all the great stackers through the ages,

The greatest by far was a humble duck...

Lars vonschtacking.

From the height of his popularity in the 1970's,

To his dark and brooding period in the early nineties,

Lars never failed to "stack to the stars!"

In 2004, lars embarked on his most breathtaking display yet.

It was to be his masterpiece:

The broccolisseum,

And it attracted broccoli fans the world over.

But even the sturdiest of canned goods can topple.

Months later, lars became dogged

By accusations of cheating.

He denied everything,

But in the end, the pressure was too much.

Vonschtacking schlipped... [Chuckles]

Slipped away, never to stack again.

Hey, scare, whatchya doing?

Lars vonschtacking is coming here to balsa city!

[Gasps] not lars vonschtopalopagus!

He's like your biggest hero!

He's gonna sign copies of his book,

"Me, my shelves and i: the lars vonschtacking story."

I've been holding this spot in line all week

Just so I could beat the hardcore broccoli-heads!

Dave: then who have I been hanging out with?

[Laughs] you're hilarious!

You were hilarious.

[Clears throat] buddy-the-guy's here, or whatever.

You mean lars vonschtacking?

The greatest stacker who ever stacked a stack?

He's finally here?

I said "or whatever," didn't i?

Scaredy: [gasps]

[Drooly sigh]

Hey, little guy! And what's your name?

Scaaaaaaaaa...

Scaa? Is that norwegian?

His name is scaredy squirrel. He's your biggest fan,

And he even works as a stacker himself

At the stash 'n' hoard.

Lars: oh, hey, you're the guy

That sends me letters every month!

Biweeeeekly.

You know, it means a lot.

Maybe I'll stop by the store sometime

And check out your work, huh?

He's just playing dead.

I think it means he likes you.

Scaredy: that! Was! Awesome!

See you tomorrow, buddy.

He shook my paw!

I'm never gonna wash it again!

I mean, I am - of course I am -

But I might use a less abrasive soap.

[Hears "agh!" In distance]

Hello?

Lars, is that you?

[Coughs] oh! Scaredy squirrel!

I'm just studying the natural stacking patterns of garbage.

[Squirt]

[Crying]

A-are you all right?

[Crying]

Not really!

I can't even stack pancakes anymore.

[Crying]

[Crying]

Things can't be that bad.

The book store asked you to do a signing, didn't they?

They just wanted the broccoli-heads to show up

So they could sell more vegetable encyclopedias.

[Cheering]

They don't care about me. [Crying]

But you're the greatest there ever was!

Check out my vonscrapbook.

I can help you stack again.

No use. I'm too scared.

The best way to beat your fear

Is to face it.

I should know!

My name is scaredy squirrel after all.

Yes, I was wondering why they called you that.

Yep, I've faced my fears and now I'm not-

Oh, sweet mother of almonds!

[Chuckles] sorry. Embarrassing.

So, you with me?

Well, I guess we could give it a shot.

Let's just take it nice and slow.

♪♪♪

[Licks]

[Gasp]

♪♪♪

[Claps]

[expl*si*n]

♪♪♪

Yeah!

♪♪♪

[Dave laughs]

Okay, okay, I've got one.

Knock-knock.

Knock-knock.

Scaredy: hi, dave! You'll never guess who...

Give me back my pudding!

Dave, look who's making a comeback stack-attack!

Wow! I'm impressed, non-veggie scaredy!

Ooh! Thanks, scaredy.

All this stacking

Has made me feel alive again!

Thank me? No, no i- wow! Okay.

Thank you! [Laughs]

Momma: nestor! You no-good, useless, beak-for-brains!

How is it that we have a city

Full of broccoli-loving losers

And everyone's buying their veggies at the...

[Shudders] farmer's market?

Um, see, it's just-

If folks were meant to get food from a farm,

Then why would it come in a can?

It's, uh...

Scaredy's fault!

The broccoli isn't stacked well enough.

Is that true?

Well, not anymore,

Because lars vonschtacking and I

Are gonna recreate the broccolisseum!

What in the vonwho now?

Scaredy: that'll attract the broccoli-heads for sure!

Uh, maybe we should, uh-

Momma: fine. Done!

You better hope your lady vonschnitzel

Can do what you say.

Uh, nestor, this is lars vonschtacking.

Ooh, awkward.

Not awkward. Don't care.

Isn't this great? You and me, broccoli!

Yeah. Right. Right.

Scaredy: oh, where is he? Come on, lars! Come on...

Lars! I thought you weren't gonna make it.

That sure is a lot of broccoli.



The exact number used for broccolisseum 1.0!

Here, here. Come here.

I wanna document all of this!

Maybe we should stack cans instead.

I mean, come on, broccoli's been done.

Don't ya think?

[Laughing] broccoli's been done.

Haha! Woo! Good one, lars. Good one.

So where do we start?

Uh...

Oh, this broccoli isn't organic.

You can only make the broccolisseum

From organic broccoli.

So, uh, time to stop trying, I guess.

No problem.

We just got a shipment in last night.

Let's do this!

Wait! I meant to say organic broccoli from australia.

You're kidding. This is from australia!

You can't believe what you read

On the side of a box.

Kangaroo: g'day mate!

I think a dingo ate my didgeridoo.

Ridgie didgie walkabout!

[Didgeridoo bellows]

I have to, um, go use the bathroom...

That's right...

For a few hours. Out of the building.

Alone.

What a boofhead! Am I right? Crikey!

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[Weak laugh]

Eh, guess you had to be there.

Hey, dave. Do you think lars is acting weird?

Do cats play the tambourine?

Just something I was wondering.

What were you saying again?

When lars and I started working on the broccolisseum,

He got all jumpy and ran off.

Running does sound suspicious. We should follow him.

I'll get the false mustaches.

♪♪♪

Huh?

♪♪♪

Dave: [gasps]

[Gasps] you're wearing my mustache!

Shhh!

Yah!

Excuse me, what did that guy just buy?

Uh-huh. Reckon he bought more shellack

Than I ever done seen before.

What's shellack?

Makes things shiny.

All sticky and shiny.

Uh huh.

Crushed cashews!

Lars, I was at-

Scaredy, just in time. Look!

Lars, did you go to the hardware store today?

What? That's crazy talk.

You're a crazy person

Who talks with the craziness accent.

Oh look, shellack.

[Tittering nervously] funny story...

You must be into woodworking, right? Right?

Yes!

No.

I liked the first answer better.

Agh! You don't understand.

The broccolisseum is impossible!

The only way to do it is to shellack.

But what about "stack for the stars"?

I don't believe in that garbage!

As a matter of fact, my real name is actually...

[Dunh, dunh, dunh!] Lars von shellacker.

I'm shocked. Vonshocked.

All these years, I idolized...a liar.

Oh, come on! Don't let this stop us.

You could join me,

And we could rule the grocery stores together

Like father and son!

I'll never join you!

[Crowd gasps]

Nestor: wow, you actually did it!

Lars: that's right, lars vonstacking stacks again.

[Cheering]

And I couldn't have done it without my partner

In shellacky-stacking, scaredy squirrel.

Right, partner?

I'm not your partner.

This broccolisseum has not been stacked.

[Shocked gasps]

Lars: he's jealous.

I have never seen this squirrel before

In my life!

How do you explain this?

[Gasps]

Oh no!

My shellack!

Nestor: ahem!

And lars is leaving!

[Flash]

I should go see if he's okay.

Na-ah-ah!

The broccoli nerds will be here any minute

And they expect to see their nerd castle.

But what? I can't!

I'm warming up my firing finger!

Nestor: ha-ha!

Momma: can it, junior.

Scaredy: what am I gonna do?

The broccolisseum is impossible!

It was only impossible

'Cause lars thought it was impossible.

You can do it, scare. Stack to the stars!

You're right, dave. It's go time.

[Cheering]

Scaredy: blueprints? Dave: check.

Hydration?

Dave: check.

Broccoli?

Needs butter.

Not important!

Dave: check. Scaredy: time to stack.

♪♪♪

[Gasps]

[Grunts]

[Gasps]

[Laughs]

[Sighs]

Stack for the stars!

[Sighs]

[Cheering]

I did it!

Narrator: and so it was a humble squirrel

Who finally stacked the broccolisseum for real.

He would go on to stack many fine things in his life,

But none were as grand as his greatest triumph.

As time passed, the glow of success faded

And everyone moved on to more pressing matters,

Like the tuna sale in aisle four.

However, scaredy continued to receive fan letters

From one anonymous writer, like clockwork, every month.

Actually, it's biweekly.