01x07 - Who's Your Paddy? / Snerd Envy

[bunniefuu]

[Big band style music plays]

♪♪♪

♪ Doop-dah!

♪ Dooby-doo-wah!

♪ Doop-dah! Dooby-doo-wah! ♪

♪ Doo-boo doo-bah-bah dow!

♪ Dooby-doo-dah dah bah-dah-dah dee-bah ♪

♪ Dah-dah dee-bah-dee-bah dah-bee-dah ♪

♪ Bah-dee-dah dah-dah dah deedle-dah oh! ♪

♪ Oh yeah! Yeah!

♪ Dah-dah doo-yah dah-dah-dah dah-bah-dah-bah doh! ♪

[Thunder of stampeding feet]

Don't touch that dial.

Seriously, it's covered in germs.

♪♪♪

Scaredy: [humming]

And you go here.

You go here.

And...here, here, here, here, here, here.

Another masterpiece, scaredy.

Thanks, lady!

Dave: it's just like being in a forest made of cookies.

Cookie forest!

When nestor's mother sees this,

You'll make head stacker for sure!

Dave: head stacker?

What's that?

Only the most important job of them all -

Head of all the stackers!

Aren't you the only stacker?

Yes, I am.

I started as a junior stacker,

Then not-so-junior stacker,

Novice stacker, intermediate stacker...

Captain stacktastic.

Okay, that one was weird.

But now I'm lead stacker

And the only spot left is head stacker!

This could be the greatest day of my life.

[Gasps]

Whoop-de-doo!

Who hasn't made a tree out of cookies?!

Paddy!

This display rots.

It would be much better if you'd put that...

Stop it!

Make me! Paddy, quit it!

You quit it!

[Rumbling]

Scaredy: I'm trying to impress mr. Nestor's mom.

[Customers scream]

[Falling grunt]

Who dares trip me with my own foot?

No one man enough to come forward?

[Slurps]

Fine! Time for the blindfold!

[Gasps]

Fired! Fired! Fired! Fired! [Panicked screams]

Fired! Fired! Fired! Fired! Fired! Fired! Fired!

You're fired!

But I don't work here.

[Sweetly] oh, well then, you're hired.

All right!

You're fired!

Awww.

Scaredy: you're gonna make it fall!

Paddy: I know you are but what am i?

Hmm... Firing senses tingling.

Agh!

[Panicked screaming]

[Rumbling]

Aghhhhh!

Mrs. Nestor's mom! Are you- agh!

Please be okay!

Dave: mmm. Danger's never tasted so good.

Momma: [groans]

Nestor: what day is it? Seven divided by three?

What was the price of kipper cola in 1954?

My hero? Where is my hero?

Nestor: I'm here, momma, I'm here!

Momma: not you!

Ugh! That squirrel.

You brave, brave man, you!

You saved me from being crushed in my own store!

Well, yes, my bravery has always been...

Your store?

Like, uh, you own it?

Ma'am, when I saw the faulty display

That squirrel had made,

I just, well, uh..

I'm just glad I was able to save your life.

I would like to take my hero to lunch.

Your hero would like to go somewhere very expensive.

Nestor: I saved your purse mother!

Gimme that!

I want this cleaned up! Now!

Looks like your boss is taking a shine to me.

Ready to go, milady?

Momma: you can call me momma.

I want this cleaned up! Now!

All we need is a shovel and my face.

[Sighs]

Please, allow me.

[Chuckles] who are you, paddy pattison?

Momma: [laughs]

Paddy: get your own best friend!

Kid goat: [crying]

Momma: I can't remember my last sleep over.

Both: [ding] oh! The brownies are ready!

Phew!

Scaredy: tuna-tacular!

Nestor: [on loudspeaker] all personnel to the front of the store! Now!

Hey, this could be promotion time!

[Cheering]

Momma: okay, everybody,

I've got something important to say.

Paddy! Whaaaaat?

I would like to introduce my b.f.f.!

Best firing friend!

Best friend forever.

Oh. Right.

And for his heroics,

I'm making paddy the new head stacker!

Ahhhhhh!

[Sobbing]

[Blows his nose]

[Crying]

Heh heh. Wow, squirrel, cry much?

For your information, I was stacking onions earlier.

Oh, thought you were upset

'Cause I got your job as stacking chief.

Head stacker!

The job is head stacker!

Whatever! It's mine.

I got a contract!

Scaredy: but... But...

But I don't even have a contract.

Paddy: really?

Then I should tell my bff

The store only needs one stacker.

[Laughs]

[Loud crash] whoa!

Heh. I meant to do that.

Stacking.

I could outstack you any day!

♪♪♪

[Angry grunts]

[Wheels squeak]

Take a picture why don'tcha?

[Snap, flash]

Ha!

Ha! You call that a display?

Yes, I do.

[Whirs]

Whatever. Electricity's overrated.

Paddy: [fake lady voice] scaredy squirrel, please come to the basement...

For a...basement emergency.

Scaredy: did someone say emergency?

[Big belch]

I hear that, sister. I do.

Hello? Emergency?

Paddy: okay, ready?

Here it is!

Momma: beautiful. Where did you get the idea?

Well, i, it was, the idea came, see,

Light bulbs are the eyes of the windows to the soul.

So... Yeah.

[Gasps] oh scaredy,

There you are, I was beginning to wonder

If you were gonna show up at all today?

But I was... And then you... Gah.

Nice.

Your base is completely unsafe.

You need some sort of wedge to prevent rolling!

The best thing to do is to use a-

My inspiration? My mother was a cowboy...

[Frustrated grunt]

[Liquid sloshes]

Stop! There's no way

You're taking credit for this one.

Fine. I'll stand way over here.

I knew you'd make me proud.

Huh?

[Evil laugh]

Nestor: this little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had... Ack!

Paddy stole my promotion

And now he's taking credit for my displays.

He's trying to get me fired!

[Chuckles] there could be worse things.

But, he's been- not my problem.

But nestor, he- not my problem.

Please just- not my problem!

Not-my-problem! Not-my-problem!

Momma: everyone to the front.

I have an announcement!

Huh. Might be time for a public firing.

Heh, heh.

I've gathered you all here to tell you

That paddy will no longer be head stacker.

From now on, he will be...co-manager.

You're like the son I've always wanted.

Whoa! Oof!

Wow, nestor, tough break.

Nestor: we need a plan!

Think, squirrel! Think!

You can't trick a trickster, nestor.

They're tricky!

Argh! If only there was some way

To trick him into thinking he wasn't being tricked.

There is!

By tricking him into thinking

He's discovered all of our tricks

So that he thinks he's tricking us.

Hmm... Tricky.

Paddy: hey, move it! Important guy coming through!

Okay, everybody, back to work.

Chop chop!

Do you think it will work?

Oh yes, this plan will trick paddy.

[Gasp]

Just make sure he talks right into that microphone.

[Evil cackle]

Time to put on a show.

So, paddy, what's on the agenda today?

Stealing my displays again?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

But yesterday you took credit for my displays, didn't you?

You are a delusional little squirrel.

Need my help with your stacking?

Anything for the betterment of the store, I say.

Who is using the pa for personal conversations?

Pfft! I have no idea.

We should go down there and see what's going on.

You go. I'm busy firing cupcakes.

B-b-but y-y-you need to come down with me.

That's part of it. [Crying]

Come on! Fess up!

Oh. It looks like you have something on your shirt,

Fellow employee. Yaaah!

You can't trick a trickster!

I am so gonna get you fired.

Paddy'll find the way.

That cranky old bird,

Thinking I saved her life,

Is the best con job I ever pulled!

Momma: will you stop it! Get your bird hands off of me!

Hey, bff!

How are you, paddy?

Do you, uh, like the new display I built you, momma?

Momma: it's beautiful.

[Squawk] cranky old bird!

Con job!

Wha!

Ah!

[Squawk] paddy'll find a way!

I thought you were a prop!

Nope. Name's brian.

Ha! Gotcha! Who's tricky now?

Blindfold?

No need.

You're fired!

[Evil laugh] I got a contract, remember?

Hmm. True.

I can't fire you, but I can transfer you!

Transfer? [Gulp]

Ow! Hey!

Momma: squirrel, you're head stacker!

Nestor, get back to work!

High five! Right up here!

Come on! You can do it!

Get back to work!

I didn't know mrs. Nestor's mom owned another stash n' hoard.

I wonder where it is?

[Wind gusts]

[Teeth chatter]

Excuse me, what aisle is the tarter sauce in?

[Crying]

[Screams in agony]

♪♪♪

C'mon, richard, let's go fly a kite!

I removed the string.

Total safety hazard!

Now we just do this!

Woosh! Roarrr! Zoom!

Monkey anouncer: do you want, need, even crave to fit in?

Meh.

Monkey anouncer: yeah, of course you do...

Then you need a snerd:

Super normal everyday regular dude,

Super normal everyday regular dude!

It's the latest craze in useless toys,

And everyone [monkey screech] has one!

Don't you want to be like everybody else?

Snerd, snerd, snerd!

Be like everybody else! Be like-

Eh, not everybody has one.

What do you say, kite time?

Park? Outside? Huh? Wanna?

Fine. Miss out on all the fun!

[Vehicles rumble]

Crane: wha! Ya!

Karate chop super ninja snerd!

Penguin: what's today's secret mission, sgt. Snerd?

Huh.

[Gasp]

[Playful laughing]

[Laugh]

Who-hooo!

Chick: [grunts of effort]

[Whistles]

You don't have a snerd?

[Gasps]

I... Kite. Woosh?

Oh, hey there, scaredy!

Hi, sally. You have a snerd too?

I am the president of the snerd fanatics club.

[Gasps] you can totally join!

Join! Join-join-join!

Um... No.

Oh, please!

We need someone with great organizational skills.

[Gasps] organizing?

Sally: so much organizing!

Membership dues, attendance, selection

And presentation of snacks for the meetings!

Well, I could do that!

Charts, forms to fill out, various graphs and-

Can the organizer choose his own title?

Executive officer in charge of administrative excellence?

Uh-huh, and he gets a laser pointer.

Shame you don't have a snerd because...

I'll get a snerd! I'll get one!

I'm off to get a snerd!

Don't even think about it, he's mine!

Monkey anouncer: do you want, need, even crave to fit in?

I tried! Balsa city's entirely sold out of snerds!

Dave: hi, scaredy!

Dave? You have a snerd?

Yeah, I got it yesterday

And it was the last one in town. Whew!

Can you imagine not having a snerd?

How horrible it would be,

Day in and day out, knowing that you...

Scaredy: dave, i-

Dave: were the only person in town that didn't have one.

I'd do nothing but cry.

Just cry and cry and-

Hey, scaredy, where's your snerd?

Scaredy: I don't have one.

Pfft! Everyone has one.

The tv monkey said so!

See?

Say, richard, would you lend me your snerd tomorrow?

[Gasps] fine. Be that way.

I would've been the best executive officer

In charge of administrative excellence!

Oh, such a great title.

[Gasps]

Uh-oh! Loose thread. Hmm...

[Scissors snap]

[Whooshes]

[Mad scientist laugh]

Yes! Yes! Yes! It's perfect!

[Laughs]

[Chatter]

Scaredy: attention please!

Buck: is that strawberry punch?

Scaredy: yes, but warning,

There are macadamia nuts in the raisin cookies.

Sorry, walter.

[Air hisses out]

The used plates and napkins go in the compost bag.

Wow. Thank you, scaredy. Everybody thank scaredy!

All: thank you, scaredy.

Okay. Ready.

Uh, okay, so, uh...

First we'll discuss whose snerd is the best

And I win. Next-

All right. Strawberry!

Agghhhh!

Nooooo!

A fake snerd? How dare you?

Hatton: kick him out, sally. Do it.

But...

[Sobbing]

Buck: the head, man! Pick up the head!

It's freaking me out.

[Sniffs] I'm sorry, scaredy,

[Sobs] p-p-please turn in your laser pointer.

You don't have to kick me out.

You could wait. I have a snerd!

[Gasps]

The, uh... The invisible snerd!

Buck: it's invisible!

Like, you can't even see it!

Rabbit: I want one!

Hatton: me too! Me too!

Sally: stop! As president of this club...

I get one first!

Okay, here you go!

[Gasp] so cool!

Dave: what are we looking at?

Hatton: well, where can we get one?

Oh, they-they aren't in stores yet.

Buck: how'd you get one?

I know a guy at the factory.

What? Who?

Jeff...er...son.

He's not from here, so none of you know him

And you'll probably never see him.

[Gasps] is he invisible?

Yyyy-no.

Enough nonsense!

Can jefferson get more of these?

Yes?

Buck: [laughing wildly]

Then who needs this visible junk?

Okay, three lines.

One according to height, one by age,

And the other in reverse alphabetical order.

Let's do this!

Dave: [beep-boop]

This one is a robot, right?

Scaredy: sure.

Dave: what colour is it? Any colour you want.

Is it tall?

Do you want it to be tall?

Dave: is it a boy or a girl?

Dave, it's whatever you want it to be.

It's invisible.

That's the best thing about the invisible snerd.

It's in your imagination!

I made it up.

[Gasps] reggie, is that true?

It is! You lied?

Not really.

Lies hurt people;

This is only making them happy!

[Phone rings]

Scaredy squirrel.

Question: shhhh...

The new snerds are invisible,

But why can't we see their clothes?

They're not naked, are they?

Ah, yes. Agh!

I mean, no! They just...

Please tell me I haven't been walking around

With a naked snerd!

No, no.

[Sigh of relief] invisible clothes! Told ya.

Question: I've been trying to wrap a scarf around its neck

And I keep missing. What's going on?

Krrkgrrkack, sally,

You're krkgrrrrrrkack breaking up,

Static! Kshhhrch tunnel... Losing you.

[Gasps] you're not in a tunnel!

Liar, liar fire pants!

Pants on fire.

Ahhh!

And the lies just keep on coming.

Dave, please!

And you can keep this lie too!

Dave, wait. [Sigh] he's right...

Sally? Get everyone together for a meeting.

I have an announcement.

So this will help explain what happened.

The green line represents good intentions,

And the red line-

Sally: yeah, whatever.

First we have a little presentation to make.

Hatton: it says "thank you, scaredy."

Buck: yeah, we wrote it with invisible ink.

My idea.

It's to thank you for getting us our invisible snerds.

We love them!

About that...

We all chipped in and got you this.

It has 42 different compartments.

But best of all...

"Vice president and executive officer

In charge of administration."

Now, what's that you were saying about your graph?

Wah... Well... I don't, um, uh...

Buck: something about good intentions.

Scaredy: I just... And then...

If anyone has any questions about invisible snerds,

Just ask.

Nice display, if it's really there.

Dave, I tried to come clean but they just wouldn't-

Beaver kid: [crying]

Aghhh!

You okay there, little guy?

I lost my invisible snerd! [Sobs]

Another unhappy customer, mr. Firepants.

Hey, it's okay. You know why?

Let me tell you a secret.

You couldn't have lost your snerd,

Because it was never really there.

The snerds live in your imagination.

How cool is that?

Really? You made them up?

You made them up?!

Invisible snerds are a lie?! Liar, liar, liar!

Uh... Well i...

Crowd: [angry murmurs] there he is over there!

[Nervous chuckle]

Ahhhhhh!

[Angry mob shouts]

They're gaining on us!

[Wheezing] don't think... Can go on.

Yes. I lied. I'm sorry.

But you got to use your imaginations

And that's the best toy you could ever have!

So I think we all learned something important.

Buck: get him!

Wait! Do what you want to me,

But please don't hurt... Mr. Handy hand.

He's my new best friend.

The other day he opened a jar of pickles for me,

And he does math!

What's two plus one handy hand?

Hatton: wow! Buck: handy!

Moose: where can I get one?

All you need are googly eyes, just stick'em to your hand!

To the googly eye shop!

Wait for me!

I'm the president of the mr. Handy hand fan club!

Is mr. Handy hand really your new best friend?

No, of course not.

But he can do math!

Dave, it's just googly eyes on my own hand.

I did the math.

Oh, then you told him the answer.

Scaredy: okay. Yeah. Then I told him the answer.

Dave: ♪ it's scaredy squirrel's safety corner ♪

♪ 'Cause scaredy's in a corner and he's safe ♪

Today, I'm gonna tell you

How to have fun with stringless kites.

Booo-ringggg.

Nuh-uh-uh! Just watch!

Hey kids!

Do you want, need, even crave to play safe?

Kites: keep it totally extra safe!

Keep it totally extra safe!

It's the oldest craze in safe toys!

Kiiiiites!

No batteries needed because it's a kite.

Woosh! Riiieeeerrr! Zzzzoooommmm!