01x07 - Babysitter Jitters // No Tattoo 4 U

[bunniefuu]

♪ [theme music plays] ♪

[doorbell]

Somebody need
a super babysitter?

Well, yes!

Our regular sitter is sick.

Now we can go
to the ball.

Yeah! SheZow to the rescue.

Wait a minute. How did you
know we needed a baby-sitter?

Because I have She-S-P.

Oh!

Thank you, SheZow.

-The kids will show you around.
-But wait I don't--

That's okay. I already know
where everything is.

Huh?

What's wrong with your voice?

Did you hear that?

Nope.

- Hmm!
- [Mrs. H] Come on!

That was a close one.

Dibs on the hot tub!

Hey, Maz. My parents are gone.

Come over and we'll--

Partay!

Must be a surprise party.

This is totally she-laxing.

Yeah, SheZow should
babysit all the time!

You know, this makes me
the boss of you, right?

Go get me a Fizz Burp.

Wrong.

This mask is starting to tingle.

It's called exfoliating.

Go with it.

Anti-aging cream?

Where did you dorklets
get this stuff?

Mom's bathroom?

No, Maz brought it over.

Nah-ah. I found it in the lair
in one of those old closets.

You're kidding, right?

Does this answer your question?

Stop it.

- You stop it.
- [Kelly] You started it.

Yep. It's anti-aging
cream alright.

[sinister laughter]

Oh, Mega Monkey your
cane is the b*mb.

Yes, quite literally.

Check this out, monkey breath.

Booger b*mb Snot Shot!

[laughs]
How do ya like them boogers?

Hideous, but very impressive.

Welcome to SICK., the Society
of Incredibly Callous Kriminals.

"SICK?"
Oh, you clever little monkey.

You will address me
as a Glorious Leader.

Gloria? Sleeter?
Okay, whatever.

What's our first caper, Gloria?

Remind me to destroy you later.

In the meantime...

Tonight is the annual
police ball.

Every police officer in
Megadale will be in one

place at the same time
and you and I shall--

Make them all disappear!

Never interrupt me in the
middle of a soliloquy.

It wasn't silly-illy at all.

It's actually a good plan.

But what about that
big ruiner, SheZow?

She's vile and foul
and rotten and--

Enough! I will personally
she-redicate SheZow!

You go, Gloria.

Tonight! Megadale shall be mine!

[laughs sinisterly]

[coughs]

[Tara] Ew. Are you okay?

- [ringing and beeping]
- [Kelly singing like a toddler]

Hey! Alright, that's it.

Sheila, please, do something.

- I'll scan my files for the...
- [children giggling]

...antidote, but it may
take a while.

Please hold.

I'm bored. I wanna play!

Not now, Maz. We have
to figure this out.

I want to play! Play!
Play-Play-Play-Play-Play!

You did that on purpose!

-I'm gonna get you.
-Nanny nanny nanny goat.

Oh-oh.

Hey, Dad.

Guy. Everything okay there?

Oh, yeah. Totally.

Completely and utterly
finer than fine

could truly ever possibly
even hope to be.

Let me talk to "the sitter."

Eh, um, hold on.

Hello, officer Hamdon.
SheZow here. Shhh.

What was that? What
were those screams?

Oh, nothing.

Have a ball at the ball.

Bye-bye.

Shemergency.
Shemergency.

I can't go to work.
I've got the kids.

Tell me you're joking.

Guess not.

Someone has released all of the
animals at the Megadale Zoo.

We're going to the Zoo!

Shotgun!

I wanna see a monkey!

I'm too big for this car seat.

I can barely move. I'm stuck.

That's the idea.

Looky! Elephant!

Alright, you kids stay
put until I get back.

And no fighting.

Do you feel something
weird and tickly inside?

Uh-huh.

[giggling]

Sorry, Jumbo, party time's over.

Sit. Stay. Good elephant.

Zowie! Where'd they go? Kids?

[vibrates]

Hello, this is SheZow!

SheCow? What are you doing
answering my son's phone?

Well, I thought it was a good
idea for the kids to unplug

from technology for a while
and do some reading.

So I took their
phones away.

Really? Well, that's
great. Wow.

Oh, here comes your son.
He's so smart and intelligent.

Hold on.

- Hi, Dad
- Hey, son.

How is everything?

Good. Bye.

Here kids.

Kids? Where'd you go?

You'd better not be
getting into trouble.

[roaring]

Or into a lion's mouth.

Pretty kitty witty!

[grunts]

Maz! No!
Leave the big kitty alone.

Super she-lastic
ballistic fishnets!

Maz love SheZow.

Yeah, yeah.
SheZow loves you too.

Now, tell me, where's Kelly?

-Dingo.
-What?

Dingo.

A dingo ate my baby?

Uh-huh.

Bad baby.
Baby no eat Dingo.

Ina go potty.

[farts]

Rock-a-bye babies in the
treetops, the dreidel will spin,

and I eat gum drops...
Or however it goes.

[hums]

They're so cute.

Oh, there's the working mother.

We have a Shemergency, dear.

I'll say.

Kelly and Maz are
de-aging by the minute.

I have to get 'em back to normal
before my parents get home.

They may not be coming home.

Say what?

First, I'd like to thank my
lovely wife, Mega Monkey.

Mega-Monkey?

I command everyone to freeze!

Literally!

Excellent work, Scara.

-It's Tara.
-Whatever.

Now, push them all
into this portal and

we'll flush into
another dimension.

Why do I have to do
all the work?

What, are your little paws
broken?

[SheZow] Not so fast,
Mega Monkey!

- SheZow!
- Why aren't you at the zoo?

That caper was designed to
keep you distracted for hours.

Is that the best you can do?

I thought that was a
perfectly fine caper.

No, I meant Tara. You must
be hard up for friends.

She's right. I do get lonely.

Destroy her!

Tut, tut, not so fast.

Need to put the babies down,
so I can kick your butts.

- If you must.
- Hurry up

Super she-luxe baby seat!

There.

Now, bring it!

Got ya.

No! Wait! Stop, you--

I think he was gonna
say, "Lame brain."

I don't care. I was
tired of him anyway.

Boomerang Brush!

Poor tired old whacked out Tara.

You just had to turn to
the dark side, didn't you?

Really?

Well, now, isn't this
a happy accident.

Take one more step and you'll
have two ice ice babies.

Now, you listen to me,
Booger Lips.

If you even so much as
make those babies cry,

I will completely she-nihilate
you. Got it?

Yuck! Yeah, I got it alright.

Whoa! Good shot, Kell.

Wait.

Oh, no. They're gonna
see the babies.

I have the antidote for
the anti-aging cream.

Hurry. What is it?

Do you see the label?

Yeah. It says anti-aging cream.
Duh!

So, peel off the part that says
"anti" and what do you have?

Aging cream. Oh, Sheila,
you're she-mazing!

Yes, I know.

Alright, kids. Lets
get Zowie with it.

What? Come on.
Grow up, would ya?

What do you want from us?

We're just kids.

[Mr. H] SheZow?

Yeah, hey there.

What are you doing here?

You're supposed to be
babysitting our children.

Well, yes, I know and I really
wanted to do a great job and--

She's doing a she-riffic job!

SheZow's been the
best babysitter ever.

- Kelly?
- Oh, thank goodness.

No. Thank goddess. When
SheZow heard about

Mega Monkey attacking
the police ball,

she rushed down here and
took him out like that.

She saved your life, Dad.

Well, that is incredibly...

SheZow?

Where'd she go?

SheZow asked me to tell you bye.

She didn't want
to steal the spotlight.

This is Dad's big night.

Wow. I never thought
I'd ever say this, but...

I kinda hope I get
to see her again.

You will, Dad.
Sooner than you know.

See you back at the house.

- Where'd Maz go?
- I don't know. He was just--

[Maz] I'm right here.

Dude, you hogged up
all the aging cream!

I know

You gonna be okay?

Yeah, if I could
just find my teeth.

Please, Mom.

Nope. Not happening.

Just one little tattoo.
That's all I want.

Get a dragon, dude.

Or a butterfly.

No tattoos!

But if you want, I'll paint one
on you with henna.

Ew! Maybe henna-nother life.

No, thanks. I'll pass.

Can we ride the rides, Mrs. H?

Yes. That you can do.

- Alright.
- Let's hit it.

Be safe.

So awesome!

I can't believe I let you guys
talk me into riding this thing.

- Here we go!
- Yeah!

Oh-oh.

You gonna barf?

No, my She-S-P is telling me
something's really wrong.

Yeah, this ride. It's lame.

[screaming]

[laughs sinisterly]

Now, I have enough ink to
paint the town.

Megadale is mine!

Oh, no, that's Tattoozala.

Say-whatala?

Tattoozala. The world's
oldest tattooed villain.

Wow, he's got some cool tats.

True that.
I gotta check this out.

Wait! He's vicious!

Oh, brother.
How long is this ride?

Hey, Tattoozala.
Nice finger paints, but I think

you need a license for
that mural, mural on the wall.

I don't think so, SheZow.

Talk to the Handa Bear.

[kitten meow]

Oh, how cute.

Is that your power?

That's just the tip
of my little finger.

Incubate!

- [roar]
- She-riffic.

Nice boy, good teddy bear.

Is this mackerel organic?

[roaring]

Was it raised in a
sustainable fishery?

Oh, yeah.
And its name is Louise.

That's Latin for
"noble warrior."

Oy-veh!

[roaring continues]

We're missing all the action.

How much longer does
this ride last?

Oh, heck to the no. Sheila?

Oh, thank goodness. I've been
waiting all day for your call.

- Really?
-No.

Listen, SheZow needs our help
and we're stuck on the--

Train that could and
could and could?

Yes, I know him well.
We used to date.

What? How does that even--

Long story. Hold on.

- What did she say?
- She said, hold--

Holy SheZow!

Here we go!

She-yikes!

Heavy Handed Super She-Slap!

No!

Liger! Attack!

Incubate!

Oh, now I get it.

"Ink" Tattoos. That's good.

Oh, great. Bad hair.
Feeling weak.

She-vacuate!

Good kitty, nice kitty,
soft kitty.

[screaming] [roaring]

Yes! Faster, p*ssy cat!
Thrill! Thrill!

[laughs sarcastically]

Now, to create a masterpiece.

A burst of yellow,
with black and green.

Tagging the sickest graffiti
anyone has ever seen.

Does the swordfish have any
cultural significance?

I'd really hate to munch on
somebody's sacred being.

Know what I mean?

Look, lady, it's just a fish.
Like Pisces.

[screaming]

Not the cat park.
Anywhere but the cat park.

Where are you taking me?

Put me down. Put me down.

Don't put me down!
Don't put me down!

P-H-U-N! That was fun, yo.

O-M-triple-G-squared
I can't stop laughing.

[screaming]

That did it. Come on let's go!

Take the love of your life
on the ride of your life.

Oh, what a life.

Cool costume.

- Seriously?
- Totally!

[grunts]

Exquisite sand painting,
my lovely Liger.

I call it "She-Fail"!

Oh, no. Not the litter box.

Help. My hair's a hot mess.

Quick. Your She-lac.

Me likey!

Alright. Time to get
shezowy with it.

Super sheroic mega jump!

Color me concerned.

[all roaring]

That's it!
No more Mr. Nice Girl.

Do you have any
without the head?

- [all roaring]
- Because it's looking at me.

Yeah. It's mad at ya.

Heavy handed super She-Slap!

How 'bout some She-lac
for your paint job,

Vincent Van Oh-No-You-Did-int.

[Maz] Good work, SheZow!

Maz, what are you wearing?

I'm Cupid.

- Did you say stupid cuz--
- I think it's great.

SheZow and Cupid.
It's got a good ring.

Really, cuz I was thinking
Cupid and SheZow.

[both] No.

SheZow.
You're under super arrest.

You've been operating with
an expired super license.

What? That's she-diculous.

Oh, you're Cap'n XL from
the Superhero Action Guild.

None other!

Oh, could I get
your autograph?

Absolutely.

As the Co-Assistant
Senior Vice President

of the Superhero Action Guild
it is my duty--

Ha! You said duty.

To inform you, SheZow,
that your powers must be tested

in order to get your
license renewed.

Seriously?
Hold on one sec, okay?

Who is she?

Her name is Uma Thermal.

Why do they call her that?

Never mind.

Test this, Irma!

It's Uma.

Whatever.

[crowd screaming]

Get her brother! I mean sister!
I mean just go!

And can I get one for
my cousin in Boise?

Sure. What's his name?

Snotty.

It's really Scotty but
he has a mucous problem.

Oh, poor thing.

He's tried everything, really.

That's enough!

That hurt.

Oh, my.

And could I get one for
my aunt in Scranton?

Of course.

- What's her name?
- Aunt Meanie.

Foul! Foul!
Let go of the hair!

Wow! Laser Lipstick!

Thermal strike.

Incoming!

Let me guess.
Aunt Meanie's real name is--

Jeanie, but she has an
anger management problem.

[Kelly screams]

Kelly!

Nobody make a move or
the brat gets a tat.

You better not touch her,
finger paints.

I'm so sick of you superheroes
getting in my way!

I just wanted to paint the town.
For once in my life.

When I was a little boy

all I wanted to do was
express myself creatively.

I dreamed of being the
Picasso of public paintings.

The Michelangelo of graffiti.

The pharaoh of fine art.

I wanted to beautify all the
cop cars, and even the cops.

So my heart filled with
darkness and hatred and I--

Love you all so
very, very, very much.

You guys are all
my new best friends.

And we're gonna
hang out all the time and--

I can't stand
public displays of affection.

Nice shot.

Thanks, girlfriend. You pass.

As what?

The test. You pass the test.

Oh, okay.

[XL] Here's your new
super license.

Wow. Cool that.

Check me out.
I'm officially super.

- Impressive!
- [meow]

Oh!

He's so cute.

[XL] She ya later, SheZow.

XL and Uma, out.

Wow.

I wonder what Mom's up to?

So, what's it gonna be, lady?

The sole or the cod?

Um... oh...

do you have any beef?

- Oooh!
- [thud]

Honey, this roast
is delicious, but...

I thought we were having fish.

Please, don't ask. I had
a really rough day.

I'm sorry, honey.

If it makes you feel any better,
I had a rough day too.

Guy Eli Hamdon?

What?

You got a tattoo
when I specifically forbid it.

Oh, yeah, that...

Boxter, do you see this tattoo?

Shoo-shoo.

What tattoo?

The one on his--

Well, it was right there
a second ago.

Okay.

Alright. Tattoos don't
just disappear.

You can say that again.

♪ [theme music plays] ♪