03x11 - Episode 11

[bunniefuu]

MUSIC: "Fans" by Kings of Leon

♪ Homegrown

♪ Rock to the rhythm
And bop to the beat of the radio

♪ You ain't got the slang

♪ But you got the face
To play the role

♪ You can play with me

♪ And all the bros
Try for the courage... ♪

Oh, my God.

FAINT BEEPING

Oh, no...

Yes, Police, please.

Oh, no.

What? Erm, yes, sorry, erm, we've
had a break-in at Waterloo Road School.

♪ ..And all the bros

♪ Time for the courage

♪ And time
For the charity tight clothes

♪ She's got a hat
And all the hat says is as*h*le

♪ She'll be bobbing to me

♪ Pretty hairdos

♪ And those lipstick kisses blown
Yeah, that's the right move. ♪

Morning. Morning. Morning, girls.

Did you have a nice...?
Yeah, yeah, it was quiet. You?

We didn't end up going away so
ours was pretty quiet too yeah.

Everyone always says that,
don't they?

It was quiet.
Yeah, usually cos it is.

Have you two got exams this morning?

French. Sociology.

Stress getting to you, yet?

Not really. They've had some
pretty odd food cravings.

Odd? Peanut butter and
turkey sandwiches, Chlo?

That's disgusting.

Well, er, no point in putting
it off any longer I suppose.

Best get in there.

Yeah.

Hiya. I've just found out.
How much did they get?

Not a thing.

Really? What about petty cash?
Intact. It was just vandals.

Well, what a lovely welcome back,
huh[?]

And how about you how was your break?

Oh, it was fine.

Only fine?

Quite good actually. Blimey. Yep.

Had a bit of time with my lad.

Not much, but you know... Oh, well,

better than none at all.

Saw Alison a couple of times.

Oh, that's good.

Look, I never really thanked you,
not properly anyway, so, well,

I got you this. Oh... I think you'll
find it oddly appropriate today.

Oh, you didn't have to.
It's pretty well wrapped for a man.

Done with the
precision of a mathematician.

Wow, Crime And Punishment.

You see, totally appropriate
for what you've got to do today.

Well, thank you very much.
But we are only visiting, remember.

Yeah, well some would say it's only a matter
of time with Bolton and his little g*ng.

Hence the visit. Do you still
think you can scare him straight?

Look, he's got 18 months
before he enters the real world.

And he thinks it's all a game, but we
know he's got talent worth nurturing.

Still, taking them
out of the mocks...

Do you really think these boys take the
exams seriously? No, but they should do,

they should matter to everyone in
this building, but I'm on my own there.

Come on, don't be a martyr.

They can sit them when they get back and they
might take them more seriously after the trip.

No, I thought you were
visiting a prison not Lourdes.

This is going to be a breeze, y'all.

Everyone else in exams

while we're having a trip.

Yeah, to a prison. So what? Yeah, it's
not exactly Alton Towers, is it, Smilie?

No, it's better. Whatever. Serious,
man, we'll have a right laugh.

Do you think so? That's not what
Miss Mason told my mum and dad.

Mason don't know
what I know. And what's that?

We're going to Castle
Ashford nick, right? Yeah, so?

Dad reckoned Castle was the cushiest

nick of the lot. This'll be a

breeze man. Will your dad be there?

Nah, he's been moved. Safe. He said
Castle was the place to be.

It's a seriously easy stretch. I'm telling you,
there's nothing that Mason can show me in there.

Nothing.

Morning.

All right?

So, feeling confident?

What, about the trip? Yeah.
Yeah, it's going to be great.

Really?

I'm a little nervous but, as
it was my suggestion...

no backing out now anyway is there?

Yeah. Well, good luck then.

Right, mate, good break?

Yeah, it was qu...
It was nice, yeah.

Listen, tonight's parents' evening.
I need some help.

I want to up the numbers and I need someone
personable to do a bit of phone-bashing.

I would have asked Steph... She's
too busy gadding about in France.

Oh, fund-raising, the
phrase is "fund-raising".

Yeah, no worries.

I'm sure I can fill Steph's shoes.

Brilliant, Bridget's got a list of

all the non-repliers in the office.

Thanks, Tom.

Oi, I've changed my mind,
our Bolton's not going on this trip.

Er, right,

well I'm afraid you're going to have

to take that up with Miss Mason.

Right!

Prison's a doddle.

That's not what my Uncle Dermot
says... Yeah, but he's a mentalist.

Dad's nick's got a gym,
TV room, pool table...

So, is your dad like the top dog then?
Of course. But they don't call him that.

You've seen too many films.

Look who's going on
the trip with us...

All right? In you get then.

Need the keys, sir.

Ali.. Get in quick... you're really late.
Have you got exams this morning?

Well, you better get a
move on then, hadn't you?

♪ Pretty hairdos
You know the lipstick kisses blown

♪ Yeah, that's the right move

♪ Make me feel like... ♪

Bolton?

Bolton, can you unlock the door
please? Bolton, can you unlock...?

♪ ..All of London swing

♪ Cos England swing
And they sure love the tales I bring

♪ Those raining days... ♪

He's just too excited. I mean he thinks it's going
to be a holiday. You know, where he can muck about.

I know, but that's what he
thinks about everything, Candice.

I mean that's the whole purpose
of the trip. Well, I don't care.

I don't want him to go?

Fine, fine, but at least tell me
the real reason

because I know,

I know that Bolton's dad's in prison.

He might be. He might not be.

That's what I tell Bolton to
stop him asking questions.

I don't know where his dad is and I
don't want him to know where we are.

I thought, you know, out of sight,
out of mind.

But this Christmas, when...

we hadn't had a word from his dad...

I found myself making
all these excuses.

I think this trip...

I think it might be just
bringing up too much for him.

You could just tell him the truth.

No. I just don't think that it's doing
Bolton any favours p*ssy-footing around him.

He has got serious
behavioural problems.

Oh, I'm to blame, eh?

Blame the parents? Yeah.

And I blame the school
and I blame society.

I'll blame Gordon Brown if it'll
make you feel any better.

We can play this blame game
all day if you want to.

OK. OK, he can go.

You will not regret that

- and I think you'll
- find some serious improvement when...

They've locked me
out of the minibus.

Danielle, I need a word. Sir? I'm
chasing up parent's evening forms,

we don't know whether your

mum's coming or not. I can tell you.

She isn't coming. Er, why not?

Cos she doesn't want to.

Er, she doesn't like

driving at night. Makes her nervous.

I see. Well, if she ever wants to talk to any
of the teachers... Yeah, yeah, I'll tell her.

What's up?

Nothing. Come on.

French exam? Yep.

Nervous?

Not really. I've done my revision.

Glad someone has.
Oh, been slacking off, have we?

No, just finding it
hard to concentrate.

Can't say I've had that problem.

I've actually found it pretty easy to
concentrate without any annoying distractions.

OK, everybody in.

Miss Shackleton..

I'm sitting in on the mock exams for

all my special needs students.

Good idea. Are you all right,
Darren?

Just let me know if
you need anything. Thank you.

Are you nervous? Yeah. Well, that's
not going to help your dyslexia, is it?

You just remember those
breathing techniques. OK?

You'll be fine. Come on.

I'm sorry. I never thought...

It could have been worse, they could have decided
to drive off, after all, they have got the keys.

Thank God for the spare set, eh? Out!

I said, "Get out!"

So you think it's funny?

We were laughing. Well, I'm NOT!

You know what everyone in the staff room said
when they heard that you were visiting a prison?

They said, "Best place for them."

And lo and behold before we even leave the
school you are proving them right. Fine.

Where are you going?

Home. There's not much point in me being here, if
you think I'm such a waste of space. Is there, lads?

Yes, there's absolutely no point your being
here unless you change your behaviour.

That's what I keep saying.

So, I'll make you deal.
I'm listening.

You can drop out,

but only after you've
been on this trip.

If you still think that school's a waste of
your time after that, then I'm off your case.

Is that a deal? Deal.

Get in then.

All of you, get back in.

Cheer up, we'll win this one.

And, you may begin.

Good luck.

HUMMING

HUMMING CONTINUES

Quiet.

Exam conditions.

GIRL HUMS

I said, "Quiet!"

I can't answer the question.

What? I can't answer this question.
It doesn't make any sense.

Then miss it out
and move on to the next.

I can't do that. I have to finish
what I started, but I can't do it.

Sir, this first question
isn't what she expected.

Right, enough. Out.

No, but there's still time left.

It makes no difference you've already
failed for disturbing the exam. Out!

But I didn't mean to.

But you did. Out.

Sorry.

All right, show's over.
Get on with it.

[Listen, I was...] Ssh.

[I was going to call...] Ssh.

MUSIC: "Are You Afraid" by Rooney

♪ What are you trying to do to me?

♪ To do to me? ♪

Karla? What's happened?

I couldn't answer the question.

OK.

But why are you out here?

I had to come out.
I was disturbing everyone else

but I couldn't help it. I know.

Why don't you come with me, eh?

Come on.

♪ Prison gates won't open up for me

♪ And these hands and knees
I'm crawling on

♪ I reach for you... ♪

Welcome to Her Majesty's
Prison, Castle Ashford.

You must be Miss Mason, Mr Wilding.

- Good morning. I'm Governor O'Brien,
- but you can call me Peter.

These are your visitors for the day.

Good morning.

We'll make a start in a moment but first I need to
point out some health and safety issues. Whatever.

It might be boring,
but I need you to listen.

Now, on this visit you will be accompanied at
all times by myself and my two prison officers.

You'll do what my officers tell you
to, when they tell you to do it.

Now, you might get some verbal abuse

as we walk through the prison

but don't respond, eh?

Finally, you will not,
under any circumstances,

give to or take anything
from the prisoners. Any questions?

OK, let's go in.

So what are people in here for?

All sorts. Burglary,
drug offences... m*rder?

There are some violent offenders in here.
Obviously I can't discuss individual cases.

OK, if you follow me in.

OK, put your bags and coats on here.

I'm afraid you can't take them in.

Then we'll need you to empty your pockets
over here and slip your shoes off. What for?

Everyone has to be searched before
they go in to the main building.

Including your teachers. Really,
I don't think... I mean everyone.

All visitors from babies
in prams to little old ladies.

So come on, Miss Mason,
set a good example.

Excuse me, I've just
got to take this.

You won't be able to use your phone
in there. That's fine. Hi Bridget... Yep.

What file? No, I haven't...

Erm, don't be silly.
Why would anyone take my file...

I'm sure it's there,
I'll find it when I get back.

OK?

You next, Miss Mason.

Right, well done, everybody.

Put your pens down leave your
papers on the desks and off you go.

And don't look so worried.

All right, Darren?

So, did you really have a good
holiday? Yeah, it was all right, and you?

Well, it was
pretty tough on the girls.

First Christmas without Izzy.

Yeah, of course.

We tried to keep
it jolly you know...

I think that's why they got so much
revision done. Take their minds off it.

At least that's something. Izzy
would have been pleased to see it...

more like shocked and stunned.

I was going to call you...

Yeah...

I picked up the phone
a couple of times too.

Did you?

Yeah...

but then I, erm,
thought better of it.

Right, well, er...

very sensible.

I'll see you later.

See you.

This is G-wing, houses more than 40 prisoners,
although it was really only designed to hold 30.

That must make things uncomfortable.

Definitely, but our resources
are stretched on all fronts...

Sounds familiar.

How long do inmates spend
in their cells?

Up to 23 hours a day in some cases.

How would you like to spend all day,
every day staring at the same four walls?

I do anyway. Never leave my
bedroom in the school holidays.

But police cells don't come equipped with
PlayStations and DVD players. Neither does my bedroom.

What's all this then?

You were told about the school
trip coming round today, Rob.

Oh, so you lot are the reason
I'm stuck in here all day.

Had a good look round have you?
What do you think so far?

It's all right. Bolton!
You were told not to respond...

Ooh, a woman It's been a while
since I've heard a woman's voice.

We're moving on. Hang on,
I haven't found out her name yet.

What are you called, sexy?

Only I like to put a name to my
fantasies, keeps me all warm at night.

- BOYS GIGGLE - That's it.

Have a laugh. Funny, innit?

Looking at me like
I'm some wild animal in a zoo.

Only I don't find it FUNNY!

That's enough. Calm down.

Calm down?! I've been in here since
last night, and I want out! Get me out!

Get them down the kitchens.
I'll sort this out.

Out! Out! Out!

PRISONERS SHOUT: Out! Out! Out!

TELEPHONE CONVERSATION DROWNED OUT
BY SHOUTS

ALARM BLARES

Is everyone OK? Boys are you fine?
Are you OK?

- You just started off a prison riot.
- I don't think I did, Bolton.

They need you out there. I thought we were
supposed to have two officers with us at all time?

We'll be OK in here.

You reckon? They won't do anything that would risk
their jobs in here. Why would they want a job in prison.

If it was choice between spending 23 hours a
day in a ten by ten or peeling a few spuds...?

Put it this way,

you'd be pulling on your hair net.

This is as good as it gets in here.

I thought your dad said the food was good.
This is worse than the crap Lewis dishes up.

My dad don't eat this. He gets his mates to bring him
stuff or gets one of the guards to call for a Chinese.

Yeah, right[!] What would you know?!

Danielle?

Just to let you know, I've spoken to your
mum she is going to come to parents' evening.

Apparently, she didn't get her note.

Maybe I forgot to give it to her.
Maybe so.

Listen, you've nothing to worry about, you
know. As far as I can see, your work's good,

you're behaviour is passable,
most of the time,

unless you're concerned about what
another teacher might say? No, sir.

Are you sure? Because, if you are,
we can talk about it. No, it's OK. Honest.

I'll look forward
to seeing her then.

We are summoned. By who and for what? By
Eddie. For? Your guess is as good as mine.

Great[!]

What's wrong?

Nothing.

You didn't want your mum to come in.

So? What's wrong with her?
Nothing. She's fine.

Is that true?

I wouldn't know.
I've never even seen her.

Why haven't I seen your mum?

- We only go to your house when she's
- out. Just leave it, will ya!

- What did you think about that French
- exam? Pretty easy, huh?

I wouldn't say it was that easy...

Yeah, well, I mean...
it was challenging in places.

Brett, was there something?

I need your help.

I know... It's for the school paper.

I asked people to write articles about
what interested and inspired them.

And? It seems that the only
things they're inspired by

are Big Brother or the X Factor
or other such inanities.

You're such a snob. Maybe I am,
but do you want to read

a 500 word article on Posh
and Becks' matching tattoos?

I'm not sure that's what
Miss Mason wanted.

Please? Any ideas?

What about...

something on the local music scene?

Like good venues, local record
labels, that kind of stuff?

Yeah, that's good, it's really good.

Erm, have you got a free period
this afternoon? After lunch.

Great, well, I'll see you then.

I never said I'd help you write it.

OK.

♪ All you want is... ♪

SHOUTING ]

GROANING ]

This is minging. I don't know how
your dad puts up with this, mate.

I've told you, he doesn't. Give it a

rest, Bolton. We've seen it with our

own eyes.

This place is a dump full of losers.

Yeah, my dad isn't a loser.

I wasn't saying that.
I should think so an' all.

All we are saying is that, you know, this place
isn't a doss. Maybe your dad were just lying.

He don't lie.

All right, mate. We believe you. And
I ain't told you everything he said.

I mean it.

Dad says the best thing about being in the nick is
that you can score whenever and whatever you want.

You know, drugs. How? It's a prison!
The guards bring it in, don't they?

For what? Money! How much do you
reckon a prison guard earns?

Not much. And I'm telling you, I'm
not leaving here empty handed. How?

I'll find a way.

OK, boys. If you have finished, you can clear up
and Dominic you can wash, the rest of you dry.

All part of the prison experience. If you don't
like washing up, the toilets could do with a scrub.

Now, watch this.

Y'all right mate?

Got any gear?

It don't matter what it is.
Whizz, E... Look, man,

I'm not holding.

And even if I was...
Nah, that's cool man. I get it.

Well? He's not carrying. Come on,
boys, we're on the move, let's get going.

Thank you for coming.

I just wanted to remind
everyone that this is exam week.

Yeah, we have noticed. Really? Not
from what I observed this morning.

Yeah, we saw you doing
your little inspection tour.

Most of you seemed to be using it
for catching up on lesson plans.

Or bopping away to music.

Some of you were too busy flirting with each other
to notice what was going on in their own classroom.

Er, just a minute, we're not sitting the exams, it's
not us that's supposed to be under scrutiny here.

Good job, because you'd have failed.

Can you explain to me what
happened with Karla Bentham?

Uh, she had one of her funny turns.

No. Don't you mean she
responded badly to the stress?

Like I said.

You knew that was a possibility. I
spoke to you about coping strategies

and excluding her from the
classroom wasn't one of them.

Excuse me but I was all out of
patchouli oil and whale music.

You could have just talked her down quietly. And
how am I supposed to do that under exam conditions?

It was a mock exam. So?
So, that's the point of mock exams,

to ease the kids' fears, show them it's not as
bad as they imagined. That's not my problem.

It's everybody's problem. You lot are supposed
to show that the exams actually matter.

Be a supportive presence.

Some of these kids revise really
hard, too hard some of them...

Oh, poor little stressed out souls getting
ulcers before they're 18. Do me a favour.

So, you don't think the exams are stressful? No,
not any more. It's open texts and, erm, calculators.

All I was allowed in
an exam was a Biro.

Anyone else feel like this?

Well, I have to say, Eddie, in my experience with
Chlo and Mika, the kids just wind themselves up.

Exams aren't as tough as they used to be.
Yeah, that's why the pass rate's gone up.

So, you all reckon
you could just walk 'em?

Care to prove it?

You've all got to stick around this
afternoon anyway for the parents' evening.

What? You want us to sit an exam? Not
if you don't think you can pass.

I know I'd pass, I just
don't need to prove it.

Right.

OK.

A bottle of whisky to every

teacher who gets a Grade B or above.

LAUGHTER

Interested parties, meet me in the
cooler after school. You're on. Right.

A bottle of whisky.

OK, so I was thinking we should start with a
ring round. Try and get some records to review.

Or free gig tickets. We could go and see the music
live. Good idea. I'll call the Dry Dock pub in town.

They have live music on a Friday. Friday's
good for me. Me too. I could pick you up.

OK. And bring you back, of course.

We could go for a drink,
something to eat...

♪ There's a man
Who lives inside your head... ♪

Stop it. What?

I should have known. This isn't
about the paper or an article is it?

It is. I just thought...

What?

That I'd be stupid enough
to fall for your crap again?

I just want to be friends.

Hi, I think you'll all agree that
prison is no picnic. Yeah, right.

But just in case you're
still under any illusions,

we thought you might like
to hear from two people who know...

a couple of our inmates. They can answer
any questions that you might still have.

♪ ..I'm going home
I need from you

♪ I'm falling... ♪

You know him? Of course.
Thanks for coming.

Like to introduce yourself?

Carlton. In for possession
with an intent to supply.

Is that erm, drugs?

Nah, it was kittens.

CHUCKLING

[Shut up.]

It's Rob, GBH.

That's grievous bodily harm
for those that don't know.

OK, boys, fire away.

Ask questions. Mind your manners.

How long are you in for?

Five years. Depends how good I am.

Have you been in prison before?

Do I look like an amateur? I've spent
more time in here than I have at home.

It's my first time.

So, how did you get into it?

What?

Well, being a criminal and that?

It's not something I planned.

- Let's just say it all went a bit wrong after I left school.
- Sorry, Carlton, what do you mean?

I left before my exams.
I couldn't see the point.

All my mates got jobs except me, so I
had nothing to do, no-one to talk to.

So I started hanging out
with the lads off the estate.

They were into everything - dealing, thieving,
taxin', you name it - so I joined in.

That's about it really. So, what's
the best thing about being in here?

Never thought about that.

I suppose it's that I don't have to listen to me
missus going on all day long while I'm in here.

The stupid cow. Rob...

Well, that's the reason
why I'm in here,

that gobby tart. That's enough.

Any more questions? What's the first thing
you're going to do when you leave here.

- Go check my mates.
- So don't you have any in here or...?

CARLTON CHUCKLES

What about you? Me?

I think I'll go and pay
my missus a visit.

Do a lot of the prisoners get home to find out
that their wives or girlfriends have moved on?

What do you mean by that?
Well, nothing really, I was just...

I'm trying to show the boys... Show 'em what?! That
my missus is messing about whilst I'm stuck in here?

No, I wasn't suggesting anything... It's just
that I've heard.. You hear stories, don't you?

About prisoners going home to kids that aren't
theirs... You saying my kids aren't mine?

No... Calm down. Of course not...

I think you are. I think that's
exactly what you are saying.

Why'd you have to say that? WHY?

You dirty...! Come on! Yo! Eh?

A little something for you,
you get me?

Someone get an ambulance.

Take him out.
I'll get the prison doctor.

Come on, man, it was wicked!

It was wicked, man.

Mr Wilding was unconscious. What's
the matter with you?! So what?

Give it a rest will you? It's not funny.
Will you shut up, man? You what?!

You heard.

How's Mr Wilding? He's on his way to
hospital with internal injuries.

Come on, boys, let's get out of
here. Let's get back to school.

Not me.

No, Bolton, not now.
I'm not coming back.

Did you think crap food and a couple

of sob stories would straighten me

out? I hoped so, yeah.

Nah, you've seen the last of me.
That's a promise. Fine.

That's fine.

I did make a deal with you.

I'm really sorry about that. Come on
boys, let's go. Actually, before you do...

We need you all to submit to

another search. It's prison policy.

Oh, right, anything you need.

I'll search you first.

Get you out of here a quicker.
I don't think so.

Why not. I'm not having him
put his hands on me.

It didn't matter to you before,
what's your problem? Nothing.

That's not mine.

You've set me up.

I don't think so.

Where did you get this?

You certainly didn't have it
with you when you arrived.

You do know that you've
committed a serious offence.

It's only a wrap. I don't care if it's a brick of
the stuff! I don't tolerate drugs in my prison!

Do you understand me? Ah, Miss,
look it's just a little bit.

No, Bolton. Like you said,
you're not my pupil any more.

What?!

Well, what happens now, then?

Take him to a holding cell.

Whoa, whoa, hold on just a minute...
A cell? But I didn't do nothing!

Miss Mason? Lads? Tell him, man.

INDISTINCT

Miss, we didn't do anything.
Honestly, Miss. Can't we go home?

I think that's a very good idea boys. I'm afraid
not. I've already found drugs on one of them...

You can't do that. I haven't got no
drugs. Neither do I. I promise.

I need you to come with me,
Miss Mason.

Don't you think I'm ready to do
time? Cos I was born ready.

Whatever. No biggie.

See you.

Looking good.

Thanks.

Is that it?

No. I, er...

How did you, um...?

HE CHUCKLES

Oh, God.

What is it?

You've turned me back into
an 18-year-old.

I'm going to wake up with acne, and loads of Stone
Roses posters on my bedroom wall. Oh, that's all right.

I quite like the Stone
Roses, I think they're cool.

OK, how about dinner tonight?

Yeah, I'd like that.

Great. Well, I'll see you in
Burger King at eight o'clock.

I'll be the one
in the Oasis T-shirt.

Right.

Is that it? I haven't had time to...

You all right, mate?

Don't "mate" me, you little punk.
Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?

Back off, it weren't like that. They

searched me. I had it in my pocket.

Your pocket?!

Are you some kind of idiot? Don't
call me an idiot man... Shut your mouth!

Thanks to you, I could be looking at a longer stretch.
What are you gonna do? There's guards outside.

Is there?

I'm not bothered anyway. They've got CCTV
up in here. That's if it's even turned on.

Otherwise,
it's just you and me, "mate" [!]

Look at this. Amazing
what you can achieve with a bribe.

It's a prize, not a bribe. Tell
yourself what you need to, Grantly.

Are you ready?
Can we just get on with it?

OK, you've got half an hour
to answer one essay question.

Exam conditions. No talking,

no passing notes...

no outside help.

I wasn't going to use... Begin.

Hang on a minute this is...?

Ssh, no talking.
This isn't an English exam.

I don't remember saying it was going to
be. I don't know anything about physics.

And it's been years
since I did geography.

Oh, you only know the one subject?

GCSE candidates have to do
at least five.

I thought it was a breeze. Don't
know they're born and all that.

Ridiculous... Did I mention that I was going to
post your results on the school notice board?

So a walk out constitutes
an instant failure.

Anybody feeling
a little bit of pressure?

How cool is this?!

Let me out! Let me out, now!

You can't keep me in here.

Please, man.

CARLTON CHUCKLES

OK, boys, relax. Come on, Peter
has given us permission to leave.

But not just yet, wait a minute,

there's someone I want you to meet.

Let me introduce
the Jailbird Theatre Company.

And the star of today's show is...

Mr Wilding? No.

Do you honestly think we'd let
you lot loose in a real prison?

He hit you. He really hit you.

You were knocked out.
It's called acting, Dominic.

Cool. I don't get it...

What you just saw, guys, ]

was a performance,
a piece of theatre.

I am Rob Worsley, I have spent a lot
of time in prison... All of us have.

- You?
- Yep.

Peter and I set up the Jailbird
Theatre company five years ago

to help former prisoners to show kids
like yourself the realities of prison life.

But it's a real prison!

Just one wing. It's only while it's being
refurbished, we've got it for two months.

Where's Bolton?

I mean, what have you done with him?

Waterloo Road.

What?

That's what school you go to, innit?

The man they couldn't cage, eh?
Mate, it was all a...

a very frightening experience
for us lot wasn't it, lads?

How was it for you, Bolton?

I'm not going to lie to you.
They tried to break me.

Oh, yeah? They were putting the frighteners on,
Putting me in a cell with a m*rder*r and that.

So, Carlton is a m*rder*r now is he?

Well, you know what I mean.

What?

He's not a m*rder*r,
he's not prisoner.

Are you mental? It was all a set-up.

They're actors.

Nah, cos Mr Wilding...

Yes, Bolton?

What?!

Yeah, obviously.
That's what I was saying, innit?

No, you wasn't.

I was saying

that they wanted me to think he was

a m*rder*r, but I knew, innit?

Yeah, right.
Keep telling yourself that, mate.

And stop writing, please.

Jasmine...

Just a minute...

Thank you, all of you.

You'll get your results tonight.
Great. Could be worse,

I could make you wait three months
like the pupils have to.

How do you think you did? I don't know, but
my mum'll k*ll me if I've failed. Thank you.

What about you, Grantly?

♪ I'm falling

♪ Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing

♪ Teach me wrong from right
I'll show what I can be

♪ Say it for me Say it to me

♪ And I'll leave
This life behind me... ♪

See you tomorrow, boys.

I'm off. See you around... not. Wait, wait, wait,
before you sod off I want to show you something.

I knew there'd be a catch.

No catch.

I just want to show you a DVD, yeah?

Right lads. Goodnight, Sir.
Enjoy that?

Yeah, not bad. Glad to be back?

Yeah.
If only to see Bolton get punked.

Back to reality tomorrow.
Yeah, I know. Your maths exam.

I suppose I'd better go revise, eh?

Really? Yeah. See you later.

Now, before I play this, are you
absolutely sure

you don't want change your mind
about coming back to school?

No way. Fine.

He said that it wasn't turned on.

Apparently the best bit's
about ten minutes in...

There.

Are you crying there?

It's hard to tell without sound.

Bolton?
I know you're feeling stupid...

Why'd you do that? To have a good
laugh later on in the staffroom?

No, it was never about that... You
must be right happy. Finally shown me up.

Hey, you didn't give me any other choice, Bolton.
I had to find a way to get through this macho crap.

I want to speak to the real Bolton.

Well, this is him. No, it's not! It's what everyone
thinks you are. Or what you want them to think.

What am I really? You're a kid who gets pushed from
pillar to post by his mum and despite what he says,

he hasn't heard from his dad for ages. Shut
up about my dad or I'll...! All right, enough.

It's all right. It's all right.

But more than that you are someone
who thinks he's a waste of space

and is quite happy to prove that to himself and
everyone else on a daily basis. And all that...

all that,
is actually quite impressive.

Eh? Because to pull that off,
day after day,

must take so much strength
and bloody mindedness...

In fact, do you know what I think?

You could do anything you want to. Yes, I know, roll
your eyes, you've heard it all before, haven't you?

I'm not using it as a stick to
beat you with, I am guaranteeing it.

You give me the rest of this year

and you'll be on your way.

What do I have to do?

Turn up and listen.

Is that it? Yeah that's all I've
ever asked of you or anybody else.

You're making your life hard for yourself,
you're fighting everything constantly.

You must be knackered.

But if you learn to work the
system, to work with it... yeah?

..you'll be surprised about
what you can get away with.

Hey, look, they let me run a school.

Will I see you tomorrow? Maybe.

That's good enough for now.

You all right, mum? How did it go?

And you're OK?

Course I am.

Good.

Mum?

Yeah?

Where's Dad?

Mum?

I don't know, son.

And I don't want to know.

I, er... I didn't want to spend
the rest of my life being hit.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because I knew you really loved
him and I didn't want to spoil it.

I mean, if you want to find him...

No. We don't need him.

Get off.

See you later.

Not as easy as you thought, was it?

Well, it has been over 30 years
since I last sat an exam.

I'd have breezed it
if it'd been English.

I might be a bit
rusty on my other subjects.

But they are so much
easier these days.

Yeah, all right, all
right, you made your point.

Anyone get that bottle of whisky?

Only the one.

Swot!

Well?

A good turnout. Yeah, better than I
expected. Well done. What's the matter?

I couldn't understand why Danielle Harker was
trying to stop her mum coming to parents evening.

Oh, yeah!

What are you wearing?

Erm, clothes.

Seriously,

you look like a right geek. Shut up.

No, really, you haven't
even straightened your hair.

You always straighten your hair!
I'm not allowed to. My mum says.

Don't even...

Oh, just get away from me.

Tomorrow afternoon. My classroom.
I don't understand.

I would like you to come to my
classroom tomorrow afternoon. Why?

You can re-sit your mock exam.

You said I failed.
I've reconsidered.

But that question,
I can't answer it.

I've asked Miss Shackleton
along to help. Happy?

Not really,

but I will see you tomorrow.

Smashing.

Can I ask?

It's the church we go to.

You have to dress respectfully
and with decorum.

I see.

I don't... I don't usually mind
you know at home or at church -

everyone else dresses
like old ladies...

but... when I come to school...

What? People would think
less of you?

Of course.

You know there is an obvious
speech I could make here

about what's on the inside
being more important.

Yeah, but that's a load of crap.

Seriously.

I mean, do you like wearing a tie?

No, I never have done. Why?

It's just not me. Too formal.

OK, listen, if it's any consolation,

they'll all soon get over it.

Even Aleesha.

Maybe.

Darren's made real progress
this year.

He's worked very hard.

You should feel proud of yourself.

Thanks, Miss.

He's been like a different kid
since you took him under your wing.

Well, that's kind of you to say.
It's true.

Nah, he had such a struggle
with his dyslexia, didn't you?

Well, there's so many
different techniques now.

There's no need
for anyone to struggle.

So, let's keep up the good
work shall we? Yes, Miss.

And, er, thank you.

Pleasure.

Are you ready, Miss Shackleton?
We're going to be late.

Yeah.

We'll be off, so thanks again.
You're welcome.

See you. See you, Miss.

Right.

So, what do you do? You
get changed on the way to school?

Yeah. Where?

The public bogs
down the high street. Ooh, minging!

Tell me about it.

You know what you should do?

What? Come get changed at mine.

I'll even clear you a drawer out, so
you don't have to hide your stuff at home.

Bolton, I've got something for you.

I thought you'd want
to keep it just in case.

I don't think I'll need it. Will I?
No.

Hiya. Hi.

What is it? Nothing.

But what is it...? Nothin'.

Thank you.

Ah, the moment of truth.

What do you mean?

Well, we're about
to do that thing, aren't we?

You know,
"I'll pay. Oh, no, I'll pay".

Well, are we?
Yeah, definitely, it's traditional,

and what happens is, if we're just
friends we'll end up going Dutch.

Very equal opportunities. Yeah.

Erm, if you think
there is something more going on

then you'll get all macho
and insist on paying.

And what if I just sit back and let you pay?
Then we'll never go out to dinner again!

So?

Put your purse away, love.

You've pulled.

MUSIC: "Ten Storey Love Song"
by Stone Roses

What now?

What?

Well, erm...

this is really lovely
but we could go back to mine

if you like.

I'm sorry.

Am I being too forward?
No, no, not at all.

It's just I really need to be
getting back.

Yeah, no... It's the girls,
they're expecting me.

It's OK.

I'm sorry.

♪ When your heart
Is black and broken... ♪

I'll see you later.

♪ ..and you need a helping hand

♪ When you're so much in love

♪ You don't know
Just how much you can stand... ♪

Hiya. Hey, I didn't think you two would
still be up. We were waiting for you.

So how was your day?

Any gossip? No. Chuck us the remote.

METALLIC RATTLING ]

I want you to do everything
you possibly can

to have my bid re-instated.

Even if I wanted to, I can't do that.

Yes, you can, and you will.

Miss, do you like my dad?

I do, yeah. He like's you.

So get on the phone to your
friend and get my bid reinstated

otherwise this lot get to find out
who you really are.

She was just being nice. Nice!

Oh, she plays trick or treat with
me and she's all over my son.

- Look,
- there's nothing going on between us.

What ever has happened,
it has blown up in our faces

because he's accusing you
of sexually assaulting his son.