Him (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Scene 33-T. Take one.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Roll sound.

- Sound speeds.

Roll camera.

- Rolling.

- Xav, on to you.

Are you comfortable?

Okay. Good.

Let's get started.

Are you truly ready

to get married and why?

Yes.

I feel like the only

single person on the planet.

I'm 30, so f*ck yeah,

I'm ready.

Oh, sh*t.

Am I allowed to curse?

For sure.

Um, spiritually,

I'm open to the process.

To the journey. Sorry.

One hundred percent.

I've been praying to God

each and every day

to send me my husband.

Maybe this is it.

Well, I'm turning 26

in two years.

So I got to get married

before I get kicked off

my parents' health insurance.

I love that.

All right.

Describe your perfect guy.

Thoughtful, kind.

Thirty-five,

wickedly charming.

- I'm not picky.

- A dad.

-Rich.

-Intelligent.

Oh, but he has to like animals.

-f*ck like a demon.

-But no tech bros.

I mean someone who wants

to be a dad.

'Cause I want a lot of kids.

Not rich?

Okay. This is the big one.

Bear with me.

Who was your first love?

It was this Greek investment

banker that I dated

who didn't love me back.

I liked a boy in church choir

named Chandler when I was 14.

His pockets were deep,

but his love was not.

I asked him

to the Sadie Hawkins dance,

and then he laughed in my face,

which I told him I did not think

Jesus would appreciate.

My high school boyfriend, Jason.

I thought we were gonna

get married.

My college boyfriend.

It's the only relationship

I've ever had.

But well, I'm here now, so...

Never even got a ring.

You think people fall in love

at MIT?

I mean, you're too busy

writing Python

to be someone's soul mate.

So then what makes you

want to find love

on national television?

Well, it just seems like

everything matters more.

The stakes are high.

You can get engaged here.

If I say I want to build

my brand, is that bad?

I'm just excited to try

something new.

You know, have an adventure.

That's totally bad.

Don't use that part.

Well, the show couples,

like Blake and Serena

Peter and Ashley,

I mean, they are goals.

And it just makes me so excited

to think that I could have that

too.

Have you seen the kind of guys

you pick?

Zaddies.

Oh. Thank you.

- Yes, I agree...

- ...and consent...

...to being filmed...

...24 hours a day,

seven days a week...

...potentially through the use

of hidden cameras

and microphones.

And I recognize I will

have little to no privacy.

I am aware that...

...the production

can divulge information

about myself that could be...

- ...upsetting...

- ...unfair...

- ...unflattering...

...unwanted and unexpected.

Additionally, I understand

that my edit on the show

could result...

...in an inaccurate

and dishonest portrayal.

Woof.

What?

-Is that it?

-Let's do this.

Whoo!

Wait. Wait. Wait.

He showed up in your dream.

That's pretty romantic, Jenna.

Yeah.

I dreamt that I was

underwater.

I was swimming breaststroke.

I was state champion

in high school.

And I start swimming

past the other girls.

This is the one thing I know

I can do better than them.

And I see him

on the other side of the pool,

and he's waiting for me.

And suddenly,

all my elimination-ceremony

dresses fall into the pool.

The gold one from night one

and the red one

with the super-low cut that I'm

still embarrassed about.

The diamond earrings

my mom told me to wear.

Those hurt.

In the pool,

you don't wear jewelry.

You get rid of anything

that slows you down.

So are you saying

that you're scared

things aren't progressing

with him?

Exactly.

Because when I finally lift

my head above water,

it's not him at all.

It's Claire --

holding their baby.

It's like, how did nine months

go by so fast?

And suddenly I'm alone again...

with a bunch of dresses I hate

and earrings that hurt.

No baby.

No ring.

And no husband.

That was f*cking

f*cked up, Sarah.

Shana, you survived

a double date elimination.

I feel like you should be

more excited.

Scott, I'm taking Shana's

suitcase down to her room.

I should be excited

that he thinks I show my p*ssy

to OnlyFans?

Sarah, why the f*ck would I be

excited about that?

-Literally shut up.

-Hey! That's a Georgia O'Keeffe!

It's like millions of dollars.

Yeah.

Well, it looks like a p*ssy.

And apparently those aren't

appreciated around here anymore.

Well, first of all,

sex work is work.

Oh, my God.

That is not why I'm mad.

I am from Vegas,

I love strippers.

It's just...It's just not what

I do, and you know that.

Okay. So he misunderstood you.

You got him to understand,

and now you get to stay

another week.

Lauren really wanted to stay.

You need to be grateful

that he chose you.

Now everyone's gonna think

I'm a f*cking h*.

I mean, I am a h*,

but I do that for free.

Now I'm a business owner,

so --

-Of a lingerie brand.

-Oh, what?

You've never bought

a bra before?

Shut up, Sarah.

You just have to be careful with

how you present yourself, Shana.

He's looking for a wife.

Oh. How could I forget?

Wives don't have boobs.

Silly me.

Why aren't you backing me up

on this?

I'm helping you see things

from his perspective.

Okay.

Congratulations!

-You made it!

-Is that a problem?

No.

I just...

-Brynn and I got along.

-Cry me a river, Jenna.

Are you here to make friends

or get a husband?

Give me those chips.

Come on.

Thank you.

You smell like a YMCA.

Is there a pool at this house?

It's a villa.

I know we just moved

to this location,

but please remember when you're

on camera to say "the villa."

-"The villa."

-Cool?

It's down the steps

from the main patio.

Okay. Well, this villa is

certainly more exciting

than the desert picnic

from hell I was just on.

-What happened?

-He brought up his kids.

And you know what Shana does

for a living.

-That makes sense.

-It makes sense?

b*tch, what the f*ck?

Come on.

Ladies!

You're a great girls!

He thinks you're great girls.

There's no need to fight

about it.

Shana, I'm gonna get with

everyone and see what they need.

You might have to get back

in your gown

and have a little chat with Xav.

-No. Come on.

-Don't take your makeup off yet.

I have to pee.

I am on my last f*cking nerve

with Miss Girl Boss.

But you and Sarah

have always been so close.

What happened?

Normally, yeah.

But tonight -- I don't know.

I mean, she's my producer, and

she's supposed to be on my side.

She's, like,

weirdly defending him.

Well, what exactly did he say?

He's like, "Oh, blah, blah blah.

You used to do porn.

And I'm worried about how

that's gonna look for my kids."

f*cking piece of sh*t.

You think we're getting pizza

later?

I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Whatever.

This counter is like a Sephora.

Okay. Beauty is

a full-time job, Jenna.

Okay.

You know what?

Just because he's

some best-selling author

doesn't mean he's any better

than me.

And also, who the f*ck told him

I did porn, Jenna?

Probably Adrienne, TBH.

Yeah.

That little b*tch loves chaos.

Well, maybe he got confused.

Okay.

Burlesque is not porn.

Well, it's similar.

But nobody is having sex

on camera.

I don't know.

It's like the second

that I start to have

real feelings for him

is when he decides to act

like Ben Shapiro.

Oh, God.

I wish I could tweet about this.

I miss my phone.

You're being paranoid.

He's always liked you --

way more than he likes me.

Oh, my God.

You're such a Pisces. Blugh!

Hey.

I love this bed.

It makes me feel like

an American Girl doll.

I bet Greg encouraged him

to bring up the not-porn thing

so there was a more

dramatic ending to the date.

Yeah, but why do we even bother

at this point?

We all know

he's gonna pick Claire.

'Cause she's wifey.

She needs a manly man.

She's probably never had

an orgasm before

and is never gonna ask him

for one!

Oh, my God.

Stop.

Why do we care this much?

Ooh. Did you figure out

how to turn it on yet?

No.

Seven TVs in this house

and no remotes.

I literally looked everywhere.

I really want to know

who won "Drag Race."

You watch "Drag Race"?

Yeah.

I'm an ally.

Let's figure out pizza!

Where's Greg?

I bet he'd get us some.

Yeah, only because he's in love

with you.

That's not true.

I told you. He's g*y.

Oh, so he's just staring

at your a*s all the time

'cause he's disgusted by it

or what?

Shana, you decent in there?

Speak of the f*cking devil.

Come in!

Hey.

I'm gonna need you

for one last confessional.

-Sarah said you're heated, so...

-Yeah.

God forbid I be comfortable

in my sexuality.

I apologize for the patriarchy.

Listen.

There's a bit of a situation

upstairs,

and we need all hands on deck,

so I'm gonna get you set up

for your interview,

and Xav will be up

-as soon as he can.

-A situation?

What about Friday pizza time?

Technically, it's Saturday.

And the others had sushi

while you and Lauren were out.

You didn't say anything

about sushi.

I mean,

I'm still down for pizza.

Just come up to the kitchen

with me

and we'll figure

something else out.

I don't think you can get pizza

in Sedona after midnight.

-Yeah. I hate it here.

-Don't fight. You'll lose.

And put your dress back on.

You can't do an ITM in your PJs.

It's a matching set, Greg.

So it is.

So, what's the situation?

Claire and Adrienne got

into some sort of argument.

We're getting some sound bites

before wrapping.

-Oh, sh*t. Can we see?

-It doesn't matter.

We're running behind schedule,

and we have to get

your confessional

while we still have hard night.

Can't you just do the interview?

You know the drill, Shana.

Xav does all

of the home-based ones.

-No exceptions.

-Okay.

Well, Xav is a piece of sh*t,

and you know it.

He's literally the only one

of you I don't like.

You like me?

Yeah, babe.

You're just easy to make fun of.

Xav feels like going

to the principal's office.

Also, it's 2:00 a.m.

And?

You guys haven't let me sleep

more than like three hours

a night this week.

I'm going totally psycho.

"He which hath no stomach

to this fight, let him depart.

His passport shall be made."

Yeah.

See, this is what I mean.

If you're gonna be quoting

Shakespeare,

you're an easy target.

-It's from "Henry V."

-Yeah. Seems fake.

-Okay.

Greg is basically saying if you

can't handle Xav, just leave.

Okay. Henry whoever

can suck a d*ck.

What does Xav want me to say

that I haven't already said?

Because I cried

at the dinner portion tonight.

Real tears this time.

Remember, Xav is interested

in peak emotions.

-God.

-Clearly yours tonight is anger.

So you'll have to b*tch

about Lauren.

Would you do it for Apple Jacks?

No. I want pizza!

Also, I don't have

anything bitchy to say.

-For once.

-Lauren was just boring.

If you sh*t-talk her, I will

find a way to get you pizza.

-Deal.

-Great!

The sooner you do this, the

sooner we all get to go to bed.

I might not even have time

to go back to the hotel.

I might just sleep

on one of the pool chairs here.

Can you give us a hint

about the group date tomorrow?

It's a sexy Van Gogh Halloween.

There's a bunch

of paint supplies

and, uh, skimpy overalls

painting outfits.

Once again,

sorry about the patriarchy.

Shana is a go.

Sarah and Xav

to the front of the villa ASAP.

I'm glad at least

you get my quotes.

God.

I thought you were gonna watch

the interview.

Nah. She's Sarah's problem,

not mine.

I just feel like you're hovering

all the time.

I'm hovering

because it's my job.

Well, you're the lead's

producer, not mine, so...

Like, why are you even in

our house?

Villa.

Okay.

Well, go to his villa, then.

Why are you mad?

You okay?

Huh?

I, uh, watched the footage

of your confessional last week.

What about it?

Do you want me to talk to Xav?

Ask him to go easier on you.

No.

It's fine.

Coming in last

just messed with my head.

Don't worry about it.

Last week was a fluke.

You'll make it to the final four

next week for sure.

I'm gonna stop hovering now

and go look for pizza.

And I'm getting you water.

Your body's like 70% Chardonnay.

-Hey.

-Hydrate or die-drate.

All right.

We're ready for Shana.

Oh.

Do I have to take it off?

Jesus Christ.

It's cold out here.

You just need to give me

a few minutes, okay, babe?

If you put your coat on,

you're not gonna look as cute.

Good point.

Some lipstick.

Look.

I'm sorry if I was rude earlier.

I just want you to know

how high the stakes are,

because I'm totally rooting

for you, okay?

Like, this could be

your love story!

You just have to treat it

like one, you know?

No. I get it.

-Yeah. Thank you!

-Okay.

Ooh.

- Hey, Shana.

- Hi, Xav.

Listen.

I know it's late.

But I'm so glad to be

sitting here talking to you.

You got to be thrilled

that you survived

the elimination tonight.

Were you at all surprised

that he wanted you to stay

another week?

No. I knew Lauren

probably wouldn't last.

Honestly, I'm shocked

she stuck around this long.

Pretty vanilla, if you ask me.

I guess.

I mean,

she's definitely boring.

Have you ever noticed

that she smiles with no teeth?

It's like, are they yellow?

Did you never get braces?

Like, what else is she hiding

if her gums are under wraps?

- You know what I mean?

- Yeah.

-You're not wrong.

-Yeah.

You did seem pretty angry

throughout most of the date.

Tell me about that.

Uh, well, he was being

super accusatory to me

about my lingerie business.

It was...unexpected,

and honestly, I was offended.

I guess I don't get

why you still want to be here

if he upset you so much.

Well, things started out great.

Couples have highs and lows.

And that's, like,

totally normal, right?

Is it because you're worried

this might be your only chance

at love?

I haven't said anything

about love to him yet.

I remember you once told me

that you had only been in love

with one person,

who didn't love you back.

What does that have to do

with anything?

Well, don't you

want to be loved?

I mean,

we all want that for you.

This could be it.

O-Of course I want to be loved,

but I want him to love me for me

and not judge the things in my

life that are important to me.

And I-I agree --

It was wrong of him to judge.

Can you blame him for assuming?

It must happen to you a lot.

No.

No.

I just wish he didn't.

Do you think

you will ever be loved?

I don't know.

Okay?

I don't know!

You know what?

Maybe...

Maybe I don't want to be loved

by someone

who thinks that burlesque

is equivalent to porn.

And you know what?

Like, say the porn thing

was true!

Who f*cking cares?

Like, wouldn't it be

to his benefit

to date someone

with a superior vag*na?

It's just, you know...

...one minute I'm, like,

the hottest thing ever,

and then the next,

I'm a bad role model.

Just --

For f*ck's sake, you know?

If this was my love story,

wouldn't I be happy?

f*ck this.

Man, it is just too easy

sometimes.

Hey. How'd it go?

Got exactly what we wanted.

Shame she'll probably

be sent home next week.

I'm kind of impressed

with her staying power.

Slutty ones don't usually

stick around this long.

Yeah.

-You heading back?

-I'm done.

The hotel or...

Sorry if you wanted a ride.

The shuttle's coming back

in like five.

Copy. I might actually just

stay here tonight, honestly.

I got a few more things

to take care of.

Scott's on house-manager duty.

I think you're good.

Tell him I'll trade.

The girls want pizza.

Really?

He'll be psyched.

You can give them the leftover

P.A. pizza from earlier.

Reheat it or whatever.

Ugh!

It's too bad we're wrapped

for the night.

It would be dynamite to get

a shot of Savannah bingeing.

Damn.

She's doing that again?

Xav's using it. Don't worry.

See you tomorrow, Greggy.

Jenna!

-What?

-Towel!

Mm...

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Oh!

I saw Shana.

Yeah. She's doing her

postdate confessional.

Shook.

R.I.P. Lauren.

Where have you been?

Having an existential crisis

in the hot tub.

Do you think he wants more kids?

Like, more than the twins.

I haven't talked to him

about that yet.

You have?

I used to think

I'd never be married

and I'd have, like,

a life-partner man and no kids.

The cool 21st-century woman.

A common-law marriage.

You're a law student.

How does that work?

Marine biology.

I mean, I like kids,

but can you imagine hooking

one up to your boob twice a day?

And I was looking at my bloated

stomach in my bathing suit,

and I...I kept imagining

a human growing inside of me

and if my kids with him

would get along with his kids

from his ex-wife

and would it be weird

because they don't have

the same mommies?

And then, like, me --

Would I get along with his ex?

He has primary custody,

so if I end up his wife,

those are my kids, like,

no matter how you slice it.

Am I ready for motherhood?

I've never been pregnant.

Does that mean I don't have

maternal instincts?

If I'm pregnant,

will I get fat again?

- Uh...

- Hear ye, hear ye.

Please rise.

-Wow!

-How'd you get it so fast?

Magic.

Does anyone remember

where the plates are?

By the way, I traded with Scott,

so I'm on house duty tonight.

Just swing by the basement

if you need anything.

Oh!

Hot Scott.

-Mm.

-Where's Shana?

Sarah said she finished.

Haven't seen her.

Oh, wait.

Is this vegan?

I'm vegan, so...I probably

just can't have any of this.

How do you even survive?

I eat food --

like normal people.

Right.

So normal.

Rude.

Studies have shown

that a plant-based diet

is the equivalent of walking

4,000 more steps per day.

Where did you hear that?

Instagram.

I still don't believe he's g*y.

He looks like

an ultimate-Frisbee bro.

They're are masculine

g*y guys, Savannah.

- Come on.

- Okay.

I still think he likes you.

You shouldn't believe

everything you read online.

I'm back, b*tches!

Oh, my God!

Cheese.

Aah!

Mm!

-How was it?

-Stupid.

Oh.

Did you cry?

What? No.

It was just windy out there.

He and Shana had

their first fight.

Also probably our last fight.

Mmm!

Oh, my God.

I think I just came.

-Ew.

-Are you serious?

Let's be honest.

I haven't had many intense

sensory experiences

since leaving home.

Oh?

Story time.

Story time.

Did you hook up with someone

before you left?

Well...okay.

It was just my...

personal trainer.

Oh, my God. That's so hot.

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I still think about it

here when I'm...bored.

-You know what I mean?

-Oh, my gosh. Wait.

Same.

- What?

- Okay!

Well, he's not

a personal trainer.

-Oh.

-He's a guy I volunteer with

-at the animal shelter.

-Okay.

And he's not really ripped.

Like, at all.

But basically...same.

Yeah. I'm loving this.

Jenna, what about you?

Oh. No.

No one.

But you're so cute

and, like, sporty.

I haven't had a boyfriend

boyfriend since undergrad.

Is that the one

Xav made you talk about

on your solo date?

-Yep.

-Mm.

The one from the play?

Your first kiss?

Well, I only tried out

because he did.

Mm-hmm,

and you probably got the role

because you really were

low key in love with him.

Okay.

Well...

The chemistry!

-No. N--

-Stage kiss!

-No! Okay.

-Aah!

Hey. Everybody.

Shut up.

Can I help you?

Did you all turn in your mics?

So we're not gonna say,

"Congrats on not getting

eliminated, Shana"?

Has everyone turned in

their mics?

-Yeah.

-Yes.

Okay. Good. Everybody meet me

in my room in five minutes.

But stagger yourselves, okay?

Don't all come in at once

like a bunch of idiots.

You have to tell us what's

going on. You can't just --

Jenna.

Save it.

Okay. You come with me.

Everybody else, five minutes.

And be careful.

Adrienne, what happened?

We heard from Greg that

you and Claire were fighting.

Literally, Jenna, shut up.

Don't act weird or be loud,

okay?

I'm bringing the pizza.

Which crew guy's

on house duty tonight?

Greg.

He took over for Scott.

I don't trust that douchenozzle.

Wait. Why don't you trust Greg?

I just don't.

Make yourself useful.

Look for cameras.

Look for cameras?

Adrienne, what is this?

Don't touch it!

Nail clippers.

Now.

You're gonna get us

in so much trouble.

You are if you don't keep

your dumb mouth shut, b*tch.

Okay.

This better be f*ck' good.

Because, honestly,

I was ba*ls deep in some pizza,

and, Adrienne, I've had

a pretty traumatizing day.

So does this

just have to do with

what you and Claire

were fighting about?

We weren't fighting.

Greg was wrong.

Mm.

Did Jenna go to bed?

I...don't know.

Hm.

Oh. Okay.

I-I'll just, uh...

-I can go get her for you.

-No.

-It's chill.

-Okay.

I...I got her a Fiji.

Fancy water.

Has that been here

the whole time?

I've been drinking sink water

like a kitchen wench

in the 1600s.

Well...okay.

Bye.

Okay.

Gregthaniel thinks

we're off to bed.

And allegedly this..

is for you.

Ooh-la-la.

-Lock the door.

-We're not allowed.

Just f*cking do it, okay?

Yo. What's that?

Don't all look at me

like I'm Santa.

This isn't a present.

It's f*cking coal.

Whoa.

It's his.

Wait. I thought he got

his stuff confiscated, too.

-He's supposed to.

-This old-school folder

it was in says "drafts"

on the outside.

I'm guessing it wasn't searched.

He must have claimed this was

how he stores his notes

for his novels or whatever.

How did you guys get it?

Don't you want to know

what's on it?

-You figured out the password?

-It was his birthday, Jenna.

The man's not exactly Einstein.

And it doesn't contain the notes

to the next great

American novel.

No, he's been using

this thing exclusively

to message his manager, Jeff.

Sexy business Jeff?

The one from the basketball date

in L.A.

-The very same.

-So any insight

as to what he's thinking for,

like, top three or proposal?

Am I going home?

Adrienne...

The Thanksgiving roast

of Adrienne.

A dialogue between her boyfriend

and his manager bestie, Jeff.

"Yeah.

So today, the solo date

was with Adrienne."

"She the nerd?"

"Right.

Won't shut up about the fact

that she went to MIT."

"Doesn't count.

She got expelled."

"Definitely doesn't count.

LOL.

Nothing kills a b*ner more

than having to hear

leading-edge solutions

for systems analytics."

"LMAO. You cut her?"

"Nah.

She talked about her sister

committing suicide in college.

Couldn't eliminate her

after that.

Producer said

it'd be heartless."

"Oof.

Makes sense.

Plus, she's still hot.

Bet she gives good blow jobs.

Could be worth it."

And then Jeff sends

the purple devil-horn emoji.

Anyone want to browse?

f*ck my life.

Did he say stuff

about all of us?

Basically, he hates being here

and doesn't actually like

any of us.

The producers literally told him

to make out with Lauren

on last week's group date.

It wasn't real.

The kicker is that Jeff

convinced him to do the show

to get publicity

for his next novel,

which of course, already has

a movie deal attached.

From the same major studio

that produces this show.

This doesn't make sense.

Adrienne, you got

the first solo date.

That's supposed to mean

something.

Savannah, good morning.

He's been doing

what the producers

have been telling him to

this whole time.

He has made zero choices.

-Uh-oh.

-Give me that.

Hello, Jeff.

Shana, no.

-Too late.

-You dumbass.

Do you think he really texts

like that?

Isn't it more obvious

that something's up

if we don't write back anything

at all?

-Oh, God!

-Mm.

This idiot can't even spell

my f*cking name.

Guys, chill.

I've got this.

Shana, I swear to God.

Are you kidding?

Wow.

Okay.

f*ck you too, sir.

-Ohh!

-Oh, my God!

No. Stop!

Come on.

It's kind of funny.

- No.

- Gross.

-Oh. That is so crass.

-Why, though?

I swear to God.

I can't with you.

What the f*ck?

Hold on.

Hold on.

Sarah?

Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, what the f*ck?

Sarah?

Our Sarah?

-Shana isn't my producer.

-That can't be true.

I feel like I'm gonna pass out.

I'm not kidding.

You have to say something

to him.

What the f*ck am I supposed

to say?

Well, clearly Jeff is confused.

There's Shana and Savannah.

There was a Samantha

at one point.

- A lot of names start with S!

- Okay.

"No, I mean that chick Sarah

from production

that you're boning."

What is possibly confusing

about that?

I'm drinking this Fiji, Jenna.

I am for real gonna faint!

But -- Give me the tablet.

No more tablet privileges.

Actually, did anyone bring

the wine down here?

Who made you Henry

f*cking Clinton, Adrienne?

-Leave me alone!

-Everybody shut up!

Give it to me!

We can't start fighting

each other.

We aren't safe here.

Every single one

of the producers,

even the ones we thought

were our friends,

are prioritizing him, not us.

-And Sarah just...

-Hey, Claire.

How could she do this to me?

You don't have to tell them.

No. I think I do.

So, he invited me to his room

last night.

Did you guys do it?

No.

We kissed.

It would have been

unconscionable to do anything

more than that

before the final four.

-Well, given the opportunity --

-Seriously?

Well, no, obviously not now.

But before knowing what we know.

I didn't even want to go

in there!

I didn't want to do

anything intimate

in front of the cameras.

But you know who pressured me

to go in there?

Not him.

Sarah.

She looked me dead in the eyes

and said, "Claire, it's you."

He's gonna fight for you.

I know it's gonna be you

in the end.

Wait.

So that's when you found this?

Yeah.

We were drinking some wine,

and he dropped his glass.

When he went to pick it up,

he cut himself,

and he started bleeding

all over the place.

At first it was kind of funny,

but then he just kept bleeding.

So they stopped filming us

for a while

because everybody

started panicking

about whether or not they'd

have to take him to the E.R.

to get stitches.

So while they figured out

what to do,

they put me in his waiting room.

This was right there

on the coffee table.

I was bored and curious

about his writing, so I looked.

- Does he know it's gone?

- I don't know.

I just sort of balled it up

in my jacket and went for it.

It's not like he could tell

anyone.

And then Adrienne saw.

We knew we had to tell you all.

That's why he thought

we were "fighting."

They filmed you

talking about this?

Oh.

God, no.

f*ck you, Claire!

How dare you?!

I'll pray for you, you B-word!

Drama equals they wrap

and get the f*ck out.

Oh.

They should hire you, Adrienne.

You're literally a psychopath.

Yeah. Well, at least

I'm not enabling a cheater.

-Mm.

-Well, I mean,

we were all making out with him.

Isn't that cheating?

Oh, Jenna.

Be f*cking for real.

Honey, next week,

four of us could have been

getting intimate with him

during the penthouse dates

in Paris.

And all along,

there was a secret player

who had already beaten us

to the finish line.

That sounds like breaking

the rules to me.

I mean, yes.

I'm upset too.

But I just think

there's got to be

a reasonable explanation

for this.

Why don't I read something

he said about you?

No.

We need to talk to him about it.

I'm with Jenna. I want to hear

what he has to say.

Oh. Well, overruled.

Adrienne, just because you're

like majority whip of this house

does not mean

you get monopoly

over how we decide

to handle this!

No. I told him things

I've never told --

Can I just have like 10 minutes

to be confused?

We have primary sources.

He thinks we're stupid!

And he's proving we're stupid

by cheating on us.

-What more is there to know?

-Adrienne, pipe down.

Savannah, Jenna,

I get how you feel.

None of us had any idea.

-Maybe we should have.

-What?

How many times have we come back

from spending time with him

feeling, like, a little...off?

You know?

Like today,

when he challenged me

on the objectively false

porn claim.

-Don't ask.

-Yeah.

Or like when he questioned

my "ability to be vulnerable."

-Like...

-But he loved that I'm smart.

Well, he f*cking hated

that I'm smart, so...

Wait.

Adrienne, your sister died

while you were in college?

Oh.

Uh...yeah.

I'm really sorry.

It's fine.

That was only like two years ago

for you.

Did you...

Did you willingly share that

with him?

What do you mean?

Like, did it come up naturally?

Did you want him to know

about that experience?

I wasn't ready to share it yet.

-But you felt like you had to.

-Yeah.

I-I was convinced I was going

home if I didn't "open up."

Like, he made that very clear.

Wow. That was intense, Adrienne.

How do you feel

about what happened tonight?

I'm fine.

You're not embarrassed?

-I mean, I think I would be.

-I don't know.

Nothing I told him about MIwas interesting to him.

Then he finds out

I got expelled,

and suddenly

it's this whole thing.

Well, Adrienne,

you plagiarized something.

The cheating is a pretty big

red flag.

Don't you think?

He acted like I k*lled a guy.

Well, you really can't blame him

for not wanting to be

with a cheater.

It's not the same thing.

It was...

Well, I didn't get sent home,

so...

Mm. You're the youngest.

I think he likes that --

you know, your, uh, your energy.

Things took a turn

when you brought up

your sister's suicide.

-I don't want to --

-Tell me about that.

No, I don't want to talk

about that right now.

Okay. Well, he clearly

wanted to talk about it.

Yeah, I know.

Which is why I did.

But it was totally

inappropriate.

Do you feel ashamed

for talking about

your sister's suicide with him?

Yes.

Of course I'm ashamed of myself.

The only reason I did it is

because he said it was important

that I open up.

He said he was upset

that I didn't tell him

about getting expelled

and worried that I wouldn't be

honest with him moving forward.

I was scared of what he would

think of me if I said nothing.

He asked why I got expelled.

And so I told him about Annie...

and how her death

made me give up on school.

I should've just...

made something up.

It is important to open up

and be vulnerable.

I don't think the other girls

are afraid of that.

And it was a big deal

to get the first solo date.

Yeah, but why does opening up

mean sharing a terrible memory?

None of the other girls

have done that yet.

I didn't know what to expect.

I wish I could just...

take it back.

He really does like you,

you know?

I heard him tell Greg

that he thinks

that you are the most

interesting girl in the group

and he's seriously blown away

by how smart you are.

Jesus.

When I hear that, it's like..

I don't know.

How could I ever have

any doubts?

I'm completely obsessed with him

after like a week...

...and now I'm sitting here

feeling sorry for myself.

I just.

I don't know how I could be

feeling all these things

at the same time.

Oh, f*ck.

Hey. Who's in there?

Oh, sh*t.

No one else is in their rooms.

Is this locked?

-You do this.

-What?

Just, you know,

make up some bullshit.

He'll believe you

over any of us.

Who are you talking to in there?

Okay.

E-Everyone look busy and girly.

Come on.

Just open the door.

-I told you he's g*y.

-Yeah. Sure.

Hi!

What are you all doing in there?

W-We're just having

a little slumber party.

Shana wasn't feeling well,

so we wanted to make her

feel better.

I thought she wanted to go

to sleep.

She changed her mind.

All of you are hanging out

in there?

Even Adrienne?

- Mm-hmm.

- Weird.

Okay.

Can I come in?

Uh, yeah.

For like a sec.

-I'm opening the door!

-Go, go, go.

Hey, loser.

I was just wondering why

you guys aren't in your rooms.

Do you need something?

No. I...

Forget about it.

Shana, I hope you feel better,

but we have an early start

tomorrow.

We know.

What are you doing to your face?

It's a gua sha.

Beauty is a full-time job, Greg.

Okay.

Well, don't lock the door.

Bye, babe.

-Bye, Gregseth.

Okay.

Okay.

I really think he would have

helped if we gave him a chance.

What -- Greg is his producer.

You think he's on our side?

If Sarah's been f*cking around

and she's actually

supposed to be helping us,

what do you think Greg is doing?

Wait.

-No. You don't think...

-What, Savannah?

That Greg is sleeping

with our boyfriend, too.

Savannah, no!

God damn it!

You can't actually know

what he's thinking.

But, Jenna, I do.

-You haven't read the texts.

-Adrienne, maybe we should --

The only reason you're still

here

is because Greg is telling him

to keep you.

Greg told him, and he told Jeff,

and I read all about it.

I don't believe you.

f*ck Greg.

Wait!

- What did he say?

- Ugh!

Greg can walk into the ocean

and die for all I care!

Greg can suck a whole bag

of dicks with ketchup

'cause he hates ketchup!

Ugh!

I need to, like,

body-check someone.

-Oh, my God.

-This is bad.

Here.

I'm Greg.

Harder.

Oh!

Okay.

He's totally in love with you.

He's gonna pick you!

Okay.

Whoa. Chill.

Aah!

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

Are you okay?

Uh, no.

Are you kidding?

That was incredible.

Uh, not to state the obvious,

but, Jenna, the one

you're mad at here is Greg?

- What?

- Yeah.

How do you know

he hates ketchup?

- Yeah.

- All right.

I...

We went to college together.

Oh, my God.

No.

No, no, no, no!

He's your ex.

He's your first-kiss

school-play ex!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!

-You said Greg was g*y!

-What?

-Isn't he?

-No, Claire, he's not g*y!

-He's in love with Jenna!

-I called it!

- I just...

- Wait.

Has anything been going on

with him here?

No.

I hadn't seen or spoken to him

in three years until I got here.

Why'd you guys break up?

Just normal life stuff.

Like, spent a year

living together in Seattle

before he decided he wanted to

move to New York for acting,

and I wanted to go to Stanford,

so it was just a mess.

But he -- he doesn't live

in New York.

-He lives in L.A.

-Yeah.

Which is crazy to me,

because he specifically

didn't want to move

to California with me

because it wasn't a place

for serious theater actors.

Wait.

That's what he wanted to do?

-What the hell happened?

-I don't know.

But he's here in Arizona

coaching a man

on how to fake-date me,

so I can't imagine it went well.

Leapin' lizards.

Seriously, you guys,

you can't tell.

If Xav found out.

Greg wouldn't be allowed

to work on this season.

And he just got promoted

to lead producer, so...

Okay. Great.

So we're gonna use him, right?

Use him for what?

To reveal the truth

about our boyfriend.

Oh, okay.

So...plan.

-Adrienne.

-Oh.

Oh.

Well, it's either us

or the brand, right?

Their problematic lead

is more important to them

than the five chicks they found

on Instagram to date him.

I think we should all just quit

at once.

But won't the network

just cover it up?

Yeah. I think we can get sued

if we breach our contract.

No, no.

Claire's dad's a fancy lawyer.

-I think we'd be fine.

-That's an oversimplification.

Well, he did represent

that one congressman who --

Personally, I'd also like to set

fire to all the film equipment,

but I don't think

we could get away with arson.

-b*tch, what?

-No. Please. No arson.

My God.

It was a joke.

I'm not gonna start a fire

in a desert.

Guys, those contracts

were so long.

No. But I feel people break

those contracts all the time.

Like, who here has money

they would sue for anyway?

-Claire's rich.

-Why are we talking about crime?

Breaking a contract

is not a real crime, Jenna.

-Arson is.

-Yeah. No sh*t.

-That was a joke!

-Girls!

Listen to me.

Last night, I told him

I was falling in love with him.

Not because some producer

convinced me to,

but because I really felt it.

That's insane!

I left my home, my family,

my job, my whole life.

All I do here is cook

and eat and drink

and wait to find out

when I'll get to see him again

and if we'll get to be alone

or if I'll be competing with all

of you for a sliver of time.

Every moment I am awake,

they are trying to turn me

against you all

and make me fight for him.

So I am done!

I am done sacrificing myself,

my sanity,

and my life for this man.

And I need you all in on this

with me.

Oh, God.

Are you okay?

-No.

-Oh, f*ck!

f*ck.

Did anyone else have

the tuna sushi and pizza

or was that just me?

Bathroom.

We're gonna take five.

Wait.

Savannah, get Greg.

-f*ck, no.

-No. He bought your lies before.

He will buy them again.

So, Savannah,

just get Jenna to the bathroom

and, um, find Greg and tell him

that Jenna's not feeling well

and she wants to see him.

And then,

when he comes looking for you,

you should try to get

the storage keys.

What?

Why?

Because that is where

our phones are

and our passports.

I don't want to see Greg,

and I don't think I even agree

with you guys

on what to do about this.

Jenna, they've been

manipulating you for two months.

Maybe you can't get on board

with exposing the douchecanoe

who ruined your chance at love,

but I bet you can get behind

f*cking with Greg.

Right?

Fine.

Good.

Um, I still have no plan

beyond the phones,

so this could be useless,

but just try to get the keys.

-I feel like they're usually --

-On his belt loop.

-It's weird that you know that.

-Don't look at me like that.

-Can I go puke now, please?

-Oh, right. Sorry.

Thank you.

Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah.

Promise.

Okay.

Uh, just sit tight, Savannah.

It's gonna be a few minutes.

The camera battery died.

Um, can I get a soda

or, like, a Mountain Dew?

I'm dying.

Uh, how about a seltzer?

Yeah. Cool.

Fine.

No worries.

I'll pull it together.

Yum.

Yum. Could a P.A. grab

my stress ball, actually?

I mean, no worries if not.

I'm super sorry,

but I'm, like, super tired.

Can we start now?

Well, they still have to

switch the camera battery out.

But I guess you and I

could just sh**t the sh*t.

Safe space.

No mics.

- Okay.

- Okay.

So...how does it feel?

You finally got your solo date.

One of the last ones.

I know.

That was great.

Oh. Come on.

Sorry. Sorry.

I should be more grateful.

Uh, he rocks and is...

...very, very cute.

Do you --

Do you know you're doing that?

Doing what?

The little noises.

Uh, I-I didn't...I didn't know.

Um...

I just feel like you sound like

a child when you talk like that.

Oh.

You know he wants

a mature woman.

So...doesn't that concern you?

I mean...

I don't want him to think

I'm, like, a baby or anything.

That would be weird.

So are you worried

maybe he's not as attracted

to you as the others?

Well, no.

I've made it this far.

There are only six of us left.

Yeah.

Variety is the spice of life,

right?

Right. Exactly.

He thinks I'm funny.

Yes, yes.

But, you know, physically.

I mean...you've seen

what everyone else wears.

They look like women.

I-I thought I looked

really pretty in what I wore.

Ruffles? Come on.

What are you trying to be,

a Black Zooey Deschanel?

I'm kidding, obviously.

I just don't like showing off

too much.

Well, the others show off.

Well, I...

It's their right to show off,

I guess.

I don't...

Do you think

he's more physically attracted

to the rest of the house?

Why?

Did he say something to you?

No, not really.

There's just a lot of

beautiful women here, you know?

You don't want to be a girl.

Yeah.

There are.

There are what?

There are a lot

of beautiful women here.

Savannah, I just want

the best outcome for you, okay?

So, you know,

maybe no more Mountain Dews.

Let's stick to the seltzer.

I am aware that the production

can divulge information

about myself

that could be upsetting...

- ...unfair...

- ...unflattering...

...unwanted and unexpected.

Additionally, I understand

that my edit on the show

could result in an inaccurate

and dishonest portrayal.

Sucks to be called last

during eliminations.

I don't know what to do

at this point.

This is embarrassing.

But he still kept you.

It's something

I was last.

I'm tired of not being enough

for people.

It's too hard.

Well, Jenna, nobody said

this was supposed to be easy.

Are you saying

maybe you want to quit?

I'm just drowning at this point.

Will that ever change?

I just wonder, like, why is love

so unattainable for me?

That's the problem.

You don't let anyone see

how you really feel.

And if you don't start

opening up to him,

you might keep feeling this way.

Do you want to feel this way

forever?

Jenna?

Savannah said you're sick.

Are you okay?

Seriously.

Do I need to call a medic?

No cameras.

The crew's at the hotel.

I got nothing.

Uh, S-Savannah said

you wanted to see me.

Yeah. I was hoping

you could get me some Gatorade.

I just really don't want

anyone else knowing I'm sick.

Of course.

You're lucky it's not Tom

on house duty.

He'd be scrambling

for that 911 cash call.

Yeah.

I also don't trust the hospital

situation in rural Arizona.

Totally.

But maybe when you feel better,

you can talk to Xav about it.

I can't even think about Xav

right now.

You're right.

He did upset me

in the confessional last week.

He thinks I'm desperate.

They're giving me that edit,

aren't they?

-No one thinks that.

-I don't know who to believe.

Okay.

Well, believe me, then.

Okay.

Then produce me.

You do the interview.

What?

You wouldn't be like Xav,

right?

Come on, Jenna. What does it

even matter what I think?

-Are you on my side or not?

-Of course I'm on your side.

-Then f*cking do it.

-Okay.

Jenna, how do you feel

about the fact

that you haven't gotten

a solo date in three weeks?

It blows.

Rephrase the question

in the form of a statement.

You know better.

It blows that I haven't gotten

a solo date

with him in three weeks.

Do you think it's 'cause

he's over you?

No, I don't think

it's because he's over me.

But if he really liked you,

he'd make time for you, right?

Maybe.

You know...

he told Claire he was

falling for her two nights ago.

No. I-I knew she...

But I didn't know he --

Come on.

You've got to step it up.

You bore the sh*t out of me

when you talk to him.

I'd rather staple my hands

together

than watch you two on-screen

together.

Greg, what the f*ck?

You're like social tofu

when you're with him,

Y-You're always making yourself

more bland and regular

in order to be palatable,

never too loud or bitchy

or sexy or bossy.

-Is that fun for you?

-So what are you suggesting?

I'm just saying

you could go home tomorrow.

Is that what you want?

So what do you want?

I just wish I was enough

for him.

I don't think

you'll ever be enough for him.

Stop it, Greg.

I love him.

Wow. I, uh...

Oh, God.

Okay, then.

Consider yourself produced.

Why did you say those things

about me?

It's not real.

It's a tactic.

I got you to admit

you loved him.

Is anything real here?

f*ck you.

I don't actually think

those things.

It's just f*cking hard

to watch you build him up

and talk about how great he is.

I mean, you're here

because you make him feel good.

But does he make you feel good,

like -- like I did?

Greg.

Did you not think I saw

the footage of your solo date?

You talked about that guy

who you said you thought

was the love of your life.

Oh.

Were -- Were you...

Yeah...I was.

I was talking about you.

-Mm. Oh, my God.

-Jenna.

Mm.

Sorry.

It's okay.

God.

That was just...

kind of weird to hear...

...'cause...

...I miss you.

We broke up because we were

gonna be on opposite coasts.

If you missed me, I was

right there, six hours away.

Did you want to see me?

I don't know.

Well...maybe.

You're still a piece of sh*t

for producing me.

You asked.

I didn't know you'd be so good

at your job.

"This is the most unkindest cut

of all."

"Julius Caesar."

How can I make it up to you?

Gatorade, remember?

And...a hug might be nice.

I miss this.

Yeah.

Uh, yes.

Um, me too, kid.

Okay, then.

Nice.

Gatorade.

Yeah.

Perfect. Yeah.

Okay.

So that you don't die-drate.

I'm very excited

to stop die-drating.

Yeah.

Do you still think

you have a chance

-at an engagement with him?

-I hope there's a chance.

I mean, you're ready

for marriage, right?

Oh, I've been ready.

All my friends are married...

or engaged.

My sister got married

when she was 25.

Yeah, I get that.

You feel like everyone

in your life is waiting on you

to seal the deal.

I feel like everyone is waiting

for me to say my lines,

but I don't know what they are.

I am inherently unequal to all

of them because I am single.

You know,

I spent thousands of dollars

and months of my life

celebrating these marriages --

bridal showers and weddings

and bachelorette parties.

None of that effort will

be reciprocated if I am alone.

They will never spend that time

or money celebrating me.

So then what do you think

is the problem?

Do you think you're unlovable?

I mean...no.

Maybe I just haven't found

the right guy.

But, like, this could be it.

I just keep thinking...

"Wouldn't it be nice

to finally win something?"

Do you think

you'll ever get there?

Have you ever gotten close

to the kind of love

that would lead

to an engagement?

We must get married at once.

There's no time to be lost.

Married, Mr. Worthing?

Well, surely.

You know that I love you.

And you led me to believe,

Miss Fairfax,

that you were not entirely

indifferent to me.

Oh, I adore you.

But...you haven't proposed

to me yet.

Nothing has been said at all

about marriage.

The subject has not even

been touched on.

Well, may I propose to you now?

I think it would be

an admirable opportunity.

And to spare you any possible

disappointment, Mr. Worthing,

I think it only fair to tell you

quite frankly beforehand

that I am fully determined

to accept you.

Gwendolen --

Yes, Mr. Worthing?

What have you got to say to me?

You know what I have got to say

to you.

Yes, but you don't say it.

Gwendolen, will you marry me?

Oh, of course I will, darling.

How long have you been about it?

I am afraid you have had

very little experience

in how to propose.

My own one,

I have never loved anyone

in the world but you.

Yeah.

I came close a long time ago.

I don't understand

why you haven't told him

about your past yet.

If you've been in love before,

you should know

what it feels like.

Jenna, I think you have

two choices here.

You tell him you love him

and even if he doesn't

love you back,

at least America loves you.

The other choice --

You stay in that scary,

unlovable zone.

Is that what you want?

- Ready?

- Yeah, I think so.

I know. That went so well.

No. I don't want to

get ahead of myself.

Claire, come on.

It's you.

He's gonna fight for you.

I know it's gonna be you

at the end.

Trust me.

Ready to go?

You look great.

Aw.

Thanks.

How are you feeling about him?

Honestly, amazing.

This is crazy!

I can't believe this is my life.

Tell me about how today went.

Today was real.

I forgot about everyone else

for a few hours.

It was like we were the only

two people that existed.

But now you have to

go back to the house.

What are you gonna tell

the others?

You already got your solo date.

He asked specifically

to get another one with you.

Well, I don't want anyone else

to feel bad.

Their feelings

aren't your problem, Claire.

Don't you want to share

how great you're feeling?

Well, I don't know.

Maybe.

He told me that he had dreamed

about his future wife

and in his dreams,

she looked exactly like me.

That's -- I mean,

that is God's work for sure.

You're falling for him.

I am so falling for him!

I want this feeling forever.

What exactly is that feeling?

Safety. Joy.

Warmth.

Hope.

And you don't have any doubts?

You have seen the way

he kisses Shana.

Shana is not wife material.

Not to be crass.

But why would I have any doubts?

He lays it all out there on the

table for me every time we talk.

I know where I stand.

I am confident

that he is my person.

I really am.

And what a gift it is to meet

a man so honest and so kind.

I just got word that he's asking

for you to come to his room.

His room? Now?

Alone?

Well, no. With us, of course.

But yes, now.

Greg said that he's asking

for more time with you.

Oh, Claire. Can't pass that up.

I mean, no one ever gets

extra time after a date.

He must be really serious

about you.

Oh, my God.

I-I don't know.

You know Shana would do it.

And I don't want you

regretting anything tomorrow.

And you don't want him thinking

you're not excited

about the extra time together.

No.

Y-You're right.

Sure.

Let's go.

Attagirl.

I'll bring you both some wine.

Claire.

Hi.

You look worried.

Do you want to play

with my stress ball?

Okay. Sure.

Why not?

Is it helping?

I've squeezed it once.

Oh. Yeah.

Might take a couple of minutes.

I'm really sorry

you had to be alone.

-What?

-When you found the text --

like, before you told anyone.

That must have been really hard.

Yeah.

Thanks.

During this whole experience,

I kept waiting

for the other shoe to drop

'cause it just felt too good

to be true.

It just never occurred to me

that other people

don't take relationships

as seriously as I do.

I certainly thought

he was serious.

He's a dad.

Dads don't like to f*ck?

And Sarah.

It's like....

I really thought

she was my friend.

This might sound crazy -- or

maybe you felt the same way --

but every time I talked to her,

it felt like therapy.

I know.

It's f*cked up.

We're gonna need real therapists

to get over our fake ones.

I'm gonna miss you.

I know they say all that stuff

about not coming here

to make friends, but, you know,

I'd rather leave here with

four people who have my back

than one loser guy who doesn't.

Yeah.

I'd do it all again if it meant

I'd still get all of you.

Mm.

Mm!

I think it's working now.

Ah.

So, what's the first thing

you're gonna do when we get out?

What is this, prison?

I mean, kind of.

Mm. Probably go to my favorite

restaurant in Charleston.

They do this mushroom

truffle pasta.

that is unbelievably good.

-Mm.

-You?

I've been thinking

of getting into wax alchemy.

Candlemaking.

Can I ask?

What did he say about you?

"Cool.

She likes to cook.

Women these days just aren't

made like that anymore."

Ew.

"At first I was worried

that she thinks

she's a writer too.

Joke's on her.

She wants 5 million babies.

She'll be so busy

popping them out,

she won't have time

for hobbies."

Did you memorize that

word for --

What a predictable cumdumpster

of misogyny.

You have another stress ball?

Obviously.

One for each hand.

Jenna, you still in there?

I have the Gatorade.

Yeah. One second.

All we had was lemon-lime.

I hate to say this, but...

you look terrible.

Are -- Are you sure

I can't get you anything else?

Should we go to the hospital?

Maybe some Pepto Bismol?

You mean now?

At this hour?

I...

We're in the desert, Jenna.

Where could I get that?

-I don't know. I --

-I'm sorry.

Uh...

...I'm in charge.

It's my problem.

I'll figure something out.

There's got to be

a 24-hour Wal-Mart in Cottonwood

or Flagstaff or something.

But that might take me an hour.

Can you wait that long?

You think so?

I can text you to let you know

how I'm doing, but...

Right.

Just use the house phone

if there's an emergency.

The shuttle's gone

for the night,

but I'll take

one of the resort vans.

I, uh, I hope you feel better.

"They did make love

to this employment.

They are not near

my conscience."

That one's "Hamlet," b*tch.

Hey. Everybody.

Get up here.

Jenna.

Where's Greg?

He's gone.

Read the texts.

I thought

you didn't want to know.

I changed my mind.

Okay.

"Jenna's fine.

It was a water-skiing date."

"Got to see her all wet, huh?"

Mm. Purple devil emoji.

Creative.

"I don't know. She's a swimmer.

She's kind of bulky.

I don't know what made her think

the bikini was gonna be

flattering.

LOL."

"Oh, never mind. Ha ha."

"I mean, she has a great face,

and she can be cute

and quiet and not offend anybody

if she's a zero

on the crazy scale."

"Think she'll last?"

"I don't know.

I mean, I'm not a r*cist,

but can you imagine

me meeting her family?"

Okay.

I'm in.

f*cking finally, Jenna.

You guys, I...

I really thought

I was in love with him.

Hey, I know we all signed up

for a TV show about finding love

and -- and getting married,

but it's pretty insane

how we treat marriage

like it's this huge

accomplishment.

I mean, reality is, it's pretty

f*cking easy to get engaged.

Speech!

Speech!

Speech!

Maintaining a healthy,

mutually supportive,

and beneficial relationship

for like 20 years --

That is an accomplishment.

But if the biggest thing

we all have to be proud of

is, like, convincing somebody

to be our f*cking husband?

Like, dude, that's so bleak!

We all have much bigger and

better things to be proud of,

and f*cking leaving this show

will be one of them.

Hell, yeah.

A toast.

To the journey of our lives.

Not Henry Waynesworth

Douchepillow.

Yeah!

-Whoo!

-Whoo!

Wait. Wait.

So what is the plan exactly?

You know what else

is in the production office?

Art sh*t.

Let's do art sh*t.

Hey!

Yeah!

Just throw that in there!

Come f*ck sh*t up!

Ra-a-a-ah!

How would you feel

if you got sent home tonight?

On night one?

I'd be so embarrassed.

Well, you look amazing.

There's no way he'll forget you.

Thanks.

I hope you're right.

I hope he never forgets me.

That looks f*cking sick, Jenna.

You ready?

What the f*ck are you doing?!

-Aah!

-Guys, I'll handle this.

Is anyone moving yet?

I need Xav now.

No. No.

- Oh!

- Are you insane?!

Oh. Oh.

You are a bad man.

Okay. Not part of the plan,

girlfriend.

Guys, stop it.

Greg, inside now!

Ooh!

Talk to me, Jenna.

This is crazy.

Where did you get this?

He had an iPad.

Claire found it.

Wait.

Jenna --

No.

I'm done.

I have listened to you

for two months

and believed you every time.

That's how this show works.

-We do that to everyone.

-That doesn't make it right.

This isn't a documentary, Jenna.

It's entertainment.

It's supposed to be fun.

Fun for who?

I have a job to do.

You signed up for this.

f*ck your job, Greg.

Well, you lied to me tonight,

too.

Under very different

circumstances.

I didn't know

about these messages.

But you knew

what he was really like.

I bet you knew about Sarah, too.

God. This is what I have been

trying to tell you.

You are so much better than him.

Yet you are the one

who kept me here

and made me suffer

through this sh*t.

You're just a different version

of the same problem.

Do you have any idea

what it is like

to watch the girl

you are still in love with

fall in love with someone else

in front of the entire country?

I mean, yeah.

Keeping you here longer

was my idea.

And the execs encouraged it.

But I was hoping

that more time around me

might make you...feel the same.

You don't love me.

You love me here,

and here isn't real.

f*ck, Jenna.

I...

I'm sorry.

I need you to read

one more thing.

"Though those that are betrayed

do feel the treason sharply,

yet the traitor stands

in worst case of woe."

"Cymbeline."

Hey.

Where's Greg?

Crying in the bathroom.

Oh, f*ck!

No sh*t.

Girls f*ck' rule.

Let's go.

And I just keep thinking...

"Wouldn't it be nice

to finally win something?"