01x05 - And the Revolution Continues

[bunniefuu]

Bright light city gonna set my soul

gonna set my soul on fire

I got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn

so get those stakes up higher

I'm gonna give it everything I got

lady luck, please, let the dice stay hot

let me sh**t a seven with every shot

hey, viva Las Vegas

viva Las vegas

viva

viva...

Las Vegas.

Hey Sierra,

Sierra come on look at this.

Look how cute you were.

Yes dad all lion babies are cute.

Nature does that so Lion dadies don't eat them.

Oh look, look.

This is where you make your first k*ll, remember ?

Don't watch that !

I'm not that person anymore.

I no longer commit rotten hate crimes.

Oh come on, this is great.

Check it out,

I make some music myself.

Come on honey I can't do the solo.

Wait I've got Billy Squire over your first trip to the litter box.

Whatever I've got to go.

You can't.

Siegfried and Roy are taking us to dinner at the Mirage tonight.

Come on you're not making Hunter go.

That's because this dinner is for grownups.

Grownups ? Last time Siegfried and Ray dressed up like Leprechauns.

Yes they did.

But look, those guys are really good to us.

If they wanna buy us a beautifully marble piece of prime beef, I'm all for.

Meat is m*rder !

Nice dad !

Behold ! Gandalf has returned.

Hey dad, I was thinking tonight while we're out, maybe you and hunter could do something together.

No Sauron, your dark forces will not take over the Hobbit Shire.

Come on now dad he's your grand son. The least you can do is try to bond with him.

Fine but you're making me give up a date with a sure thing :

this girl is easier to get into than Floride estate.

DAD !

I'm just saying you don't wanna disappoint a lady like that.

Right kido ?

I like Elves

Of course you do.

Hallo

Hello Mister Siegfried, Mister Roy.

How dit you know it waz uz ?

You have Lions with you and your theme song contains your actual names.

It is official, masquerade dinner is a bust.

Roy wonce we pick a theme, we stick to it.

What are you doing ?

SHHHHHT !

Look away when you talk to me.

I didn't survive 3472 dinners by making small talk with prostit*tes.

Hey, I'm not a prost*tute

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

You work in your way through law school, I get it.

I don't know what's going on with Sierra lately,

we don't connect anymore.

It's just a phase.

I know but what happend to the kid who denied to bite the dinner unless she was sit next to me ?

If it makes you feel any better, she treats me the same way.

Well yeah, but she was never nuts about you.

I'm not afraid of being eaten,

I'm afraid of being silenced.

What do you mean ?

Come on ! You never heard of me ?

Emerson the lobster.

Political prisoner FBI file number 16324

Sorry, I haven't.

HAHA !

Their plan is working.

The liberal media won't touch me.

This face don't sell tide.

Oh ! that is so unfair.

It's allright.

Mandela was in prison for 27 years nobody forgot about him.

Yeah, Arhur's Whack job wife.

Hi I'm Larry.

What are we talking about?

Turn away from the tank.

Kitties, dinner time !

Sierra, come on

Good luck Emerson.

Hey kid !

I've got some newsletters, maybe you can distribute them for me.

Try to get a copy to Tim Robbins.

Ok Lions,

Ve have a very special anonzment to make.

Barbara Streisand is coming to town.

Perhaps it was me that was talking, hmm ?

It is true, the great Barbara will be here next veek and we vill doing a private magic show for her.

Larry, become excited, you are coming vith us

Barbara fell enchanted vith you in a picture in People magazine

There I was calming your main

She assured me that my low cut shirt had nothing to do with her enchantment.

I'm secretly doubting that.

If your head were any bigger, I would feel sorry for who makes your hats.

POW !

To celebrate with you, ve have made a salami bust of Barbara.

And tonight you will eat her head.

Gentlemen, may I take your order ?

Tonight I vill be having the lobster.

I'm sorry we're all out.

Then I vill have a pepperoni bust of Ascadenamaracetome

So, we're bonding, huh gandpa ?

Going to a bar together.

Yeah that's right.

Now, you stay here of course. Grandpa has to meet a sweet peace of tail.

By that, I mean a funny nice person.

Just throw these pointy objects at that board there.

And remember, if I'm talking to a lady, you don't know me.

Hey darling,

last night, you and me, RRRRRR

Yeah, about that,

I'm getting the feeling that you're afraid of commitment

and I can't do that to myself again.

I'd love to make a commitment to you but my plate is full.

Well, then I guess this is goodbye.

You see, I need to be with someone who cares about more than just himself.

Ok, I didn't want to tell you this cause I didn't want to scare you off

but that boy over there, he's my grand-son.

I'm raising him.

Really ?

I'm the only family he has left since his mother and father abandoned him.

Waoww, but how come I've never seen you with him before ?

He just got back from...

euh... space camp

Well I love kids.

Hey, you know what?

Tomorrow night you bring him to dinner

Great

and I realise now is not the time to pressure you about a commitment.

That's terrific Tracy.

Hunter, come here my boy.

I do not know you Sir.

He's...

he's dumb.

Oh my god !

Emerson's right.

The FDA is in the pocket of the pharmaceutical industry.

I have to go back and save him.

Honey, you can not have another pet.

It'd be just like that c*ck Spaniel where I got stuck walking him and cleaning up after him.

He was tasty though !

I thought you sent him to a farm.

Yeah I did !

Anyway dad,

you met him, he's brilliant

don't you think he deserves a better life ?

Are we still talking about the little red fellow ?

You never understand things that are important to me.

Hey kate you go on ahead, I meet you at home.

Right, why ?

I'm taking a power walking, I think it looks cool.

Sierra,

honey, I have a surprise for you.

Oh my god, Emerson.

Dad, thank you.

Hey, hello.

Could I get some help with the bandage here ?

Of course !

I bet I know what you could use,

a nice cold one.

Oh look at that

Is that a plastic six pack ring ?

Yes, it is !

I guess that makes you an idiot.

You know how many dolphins get their noses caught in this plastic ring every year ?

Thanks to people like you, they die a slow watery death.

I just like to hold my beers with one finger.

OK

We need an engineering campaign to cut these plastic rings before they disposed of.

Yeah, I'll get us some poster board and some chalk pieces

Good thinking !

And I'll get some string and a staplegun.

Yeah, no, I tell you what.

Why don't you hold a seat in front of the fridge

and make me a cornbeef and provolone sandwich ?

Wear a hair net, I don't want any surprises.

We've covered Artic trilling, medicare, cloning

and there's still so many issues left to go.

So let's keep those poster boards coming, come on, come on !

Oh oh we got here the last one.

No problem, draw me Uncle Sam, a bag of cocaine, and a crying Indian floating in the oil.

I can't believe you brought him into our house.

Look at what he's doing to my living room !

Look, I know he's a little excentric, but you should have seen her face,

she looked at me like I was a hero or something.

It was the first time she's done that in a long time.

No nukes, right honey ?

If it's yellow, let it mellow !

I don't get it, you know.

Oh, I know.

You know kid ? You've got a spark !

You can really change the world.

You know how I heal the world ?

Through laughter. Funny man George Lopez, take me away.

Don't they install us our house ? What's about the TV ?

You mean the government mind control box ?

I cut the cord !

What ?

Your mind is a vase, fill it with flowers, not with lies.

Hey, you wanna go on a trip to a farm ?

Dad !

Six hours till Barbara.

I must be preparing mein outfit.

I want it to say look, but don't touch

but then touch, when I'm not looking

RD patrol, open up!

Oh no, it's wice president d*ck Cheney again

I can here you wild men in there. It's me, the chainsaw.

Yeah, very funny, your arm is a blade to cut trees.

So, what's up for tonight boys ? The chainsaw's ready for action.

Yes, of course

Unfortunatly d*ck Cheney, ve have already made plans vith Barbara Streisand.

Streisand plus chainsaw, call the APA cause that's a recipe for dynamite.

KABOOM !

Yeah, kaboom, good bang.

Anyhow, it's not in the stalls for tonight.

It's not you, it's our lions.

They don't like any vice presidents.

Between you and me, they found Al Gore to be a bit... doochy.

Fine.

Good Night Chainsaw.

He's a nice guy, but... enough already.

Emerson you gonna love this place.

Hey, because it's a special night, everybody can order

appetisers !

Oooh... Thanks for green lighting my bufallo wings you nob.

Sorry I'm late.

Excuse me, why are we eating with the entree ?

Hey lobster, I called ahead and reserved you a seat.

Grand Pa you're a sweet piece of tail !

It's an inside joke.

Well I'm just glad you two are bonding.

Excuse me folks, I've got to hit the can.

Great, there's no aquatic access.

How's a sea creature suposed to get around this place ?

It's totally demeaning.

Listen there are no a lot of other sea creatures around.

I don't know if building a waterway makes sense.

Oh sure ! Why build waterways ?

Why build wheel-chair ramps ?

Why have bumpy books for those idiots who can't see.

Yikes... somebody didn't get enough hugs

You don't get a lot of hugs from an alcoholic hooker.

Merry Christmas.

Sierra, get me out of here, we've got work to do.

Gladly.

Must be that "time of the month" for him, right grandpa ?

When one group is discriminated against, it affects us all.

And I for one am not goinna stand for it anymore

What do we want ?

Aquatic access !

When do we want it ?

Now ! Yeeeah !

And I wanna be able to marry my life partner here in my home town.

- Oh Gary
- I love you Lamance,

and I don't care who knows it.

Don't forget why we're here.

Down with the watering hole which won't provide aquatic access.

Down with the watering hole that won't provide aquatic access.

Let's stratch the watering hole.

Noone is burning anything down.

Hey, he's wearing fur !

Alright, that's it. You all need a hobby !

Lamance and I are taking a Chinese cooking class.

Everyone out !

Ok, we're leaving.

Sierra, we will discuss this tomorrow. Now go to bed, it's a school night.

I'm not going to school anymore.

What ?

How can I be expected to go to school when Omar Hick is rotting in a prison cell in Myanmar ?

Emerson's right, school's for drawns.

No, Sierra, school is important.

Why ?

Because trying to stay awake for 40 minutes while a teacher says boring things builds character.

End of discussion.

You see, he uses 4 of 6 hallmarks of tyrance.

That's it, you are out of here.

Dad !

No, I've had it with this smart-a*s whiny bottom feeder. Pack your bags freeloader, this is your last night at Tigana !

Dude, we're just having an exchange of ideas

Hey, maybe she can go to school part time.

Out !

You're ruining everything

You know what ? I don't care !

I don't need to be your buddy

That lobster's out of here and your're going to school tomorow

Am I too late ?

I always have such a good time with you.

Well that's why they call me "Good Time Charly".

I thought your name was Sarmoti.

You're the perfect woman.

Grandpa, grandpa,

I need a protection spell to use against the Orcs.

Excuse me

Grandpa, you told mum you and I were going to play.

Yeah, yeah, we are.

Now, this bottle of Bourbon here is an evil tower. And these cigarettes, maybe they come to life or something.

But play quitely or else the scary Swamp Monster will make you ugly, and everyone will hate you.

I'll whisper.

Good boy.

Now where was I?

So, what exactly happened to his parents ?

Oh, his mum joined a cult and his dad went g*y and ran off with the church quire director

Oh, you brave man.

Grandpa, this tower of evil is good !

Dad, I can't believe you're doing this.

You can't just drop him in some hole.

It's called exile, like what they did to Trotsky.

He was m*rder*d in Mexico, you know.

Shut up ! Don't worry, honey, this place's gonna be perfect.

Waouh, Mirage aquarium.

This ain't bad ! Hum, oysters, I'll keep my wallet in my front pocket.

Peace.

I'll visit you all the time.

This is a better place for him, kido, trust me.

Barbara Streisand, you are filling us with your arrival.

Nice to see you too.

voo dongle

Is there anything ve can be bring you ?

Yeah, I want that chair brought to my villa.

Yes Barbara

Oh, and I want that vase.

Yes Barbara.

And I want an oscar for directing Prince of Tides.

Yes Barbara.

Oh and for dinner I want that,

That big fat juicy lobster.

This is all your fault, Emerson is probably boiling in a pot right now.

Don't think that way honey, maybe they grilled him.

ARGH, Hum, setting him free in a ocean paradise, I bet that's it !

Good news, my man,

Emerson hasn't been eaten yet, but...

he is the featuring entree when Barbara has dinner with Siegfried and Roy at the villa tonight.

Siegfried and Roy are taking me to that.

I can save the lobster.

And that's where I'm coming.

Ok, how is the floor plan of nude nude nude gonna help us ?

What ? We've got to do this without strippers ?

Good luck !

Hello, cuchicuchicoo, shiny.

Tracy, he's fourteen.

I'm nine.

Still ?

Oh, that's great...
What the...

Excuse me, why do you have my child in your bosom ?

It's ok mum, it's an Eden here.

You're his mother ?

Well it's a little late to show up now, don't you think ?

What ?

Oh, you go off and join a cult and then you just expect to pick up what you left off !

Well, Sarmoti and I may not be exclusive, but we're Hunter's family now.

So, why don't you just put on your orange robe and tell your oversex leader that we ain't buying.

Right honey ?

- Barbara
- Yes James ?

- I miss you when I can't see your face
- Just brush

Come in

Hallo Barbara

- I am Siegfried
- and I am Roy

I cannot believe I'm standing here vith funny girl !

Make me laugh

Emerson

Up here !
Thanks for the newly sunlife jackass !

Do you got see the boiling water ?

You're about two minutes from making this noise...

Now, shut up,

I have a plan to get you out of here

OK,

Castro, you b*stard !

Come on, Snack, what are you doing ?

- Holy potatoes
- Get the lights !

They don't vork.

Strobe light, strobe light

Oh, look at us !

Ve are robots !

Brolin, it is a robot party, join us, don't be sticking in the muck

Be robot Brolin

Ok, let's go ton.

Hold it Lion,

noone takes my dinner.

Come here you little reptile.

No Brolin, left right left.

How did you robot when you played Dragon ?

I'll eat you !

I am a tripletrick aaah seasoning.

Sierra, what are you doing here ?

I'm saving Emerson.

Beat you two !

Waouh

Now, get out of here.

Brolin, vhy must you allways be k*lling the buzz ?

Roy, calm down

No, I'm not kidding, I've had enough of him.

I can't believe everything you did to save Emerson

It was awesome.

Yeah let's be honest, I could have taken care of Yentall on my own.

Not really, you owe him.

Oh yeah, let's just bow down to the man

Oh thank you for you wellfair state, I can't do anything on my own.

Emerson, come on

Sierra, don't forget, he is still the enemy.

No he's not, he's my dad and I like him.

You know who I don't like ?

YOU

That's the spirit !

So, what was Barbara like ?

Really down to earth, she's good people.

Gandalf, Gandalf, Gandalf ?
Gandalf, come on !

Dad, we worked this out, you promised.

The Morlocks are coming.

Awesome !

That's better.

Hey kids,

What if I buy you some beer ? It'll be our secret.

There's no alcohol in Middle Earth, grandpa.

Crap !