01x02 - Jersey Devil

[bunniefuu]

How do we stop this thing?!

How would we know? Nobody started it.

How fast are we going?

-How fast are we--?
-Let's just go with really fast!

Whoa! Look at me. I'm flying.

[grunting] Whoa!

Now you're flying.

I did not think this through.

[breaks squealing]

[both yelling]

[grunts, then groans]

Ta-da!

Again. Again.

[grunts] Let's not.

Where are we?

Can't tell. No signal.

Someplace boring for sure.

Egad, my back.

Stop making things up.

You're a ghost.

You can't get injured.

Oh, I beg to differ.

Haven't you ever heard of phantom pain?

[groans]

-Huh?
-Hey, Leo, look on the bright side.

At least we're safe.

[all gasp]

We've lost the mainsail.

We're going down.

[panting]

[grunting]

Oh.

[groans]

[puffing]

[laughs, then air hissing]

[Leo groans]

Huh?

Hi.

[Thomas] Hold fire.

Hold.

Please accept our most sincere apologies.

When the town militia opened fire
on your vessel,

we did not realize
it was a lighter than aircraft.

Where are we?

What is this place?

Why, the most enlightened state
in all the union.

The third of the 13 colonies
and crossroads of the revolution.

New Jersey.

So, we should stay off the turnpike,
right?

Am I right?

[groans]

My material is wasted on you guys.

Thomas, have you taken leave
of your senses talking with them?

This boy flew from the sky
in service of the devil.

Nonsense.

This heavenly means of conveyance
makes him more like a consort

with the angels.

Uh, the boy's name is Leo
and he's standing right here.

Good morn, Leo. Thomas Decatur.

Since it was our cannonade
that brought you from the sky,

the least we can offer is our hospitality.

My word. Is this creature with you a...?
A...?

A green-striped beaver?

A beaver?

My tail is so much more elegant.

And it speaks.

Splendid.

You're a fool, Decatur.

A mad fool consorting with the devils.

I'll be informing the parson of this.

I'm afraid this community
is not as accepting as it once was.

I'll explain everything.
But we must get you out of sight. Quickly.

-Wow!
-I say.

Whoa!

So, you're an inventor.

Hey, do you think
you could help us fix our ship?

Normally it would be my pleasure,

but my time is taken
with the defense of the town.

These are dark times.

The Jersey Devil has returned to Leeds.

The Jersey Devil?

A monster that has plagued my home
for generations.

Go ahead, Leo.

Tell him about us.

I must ask, friend Leo,
why are you always looking askance?

[sighs] Thomas... these are my friends...

Don Andres... and Teodora.

They're sort of, well, ghosts.

Come on, guys, show yourselves.

Rejoice, good sir,
that you not know the pain

of being ignored
until it thought convenient.

Shut your yap.

Ow!

My town was lost to a monster, too.

They helped me escape.

My word, phantoms.

I theorized it possible,
but could never prove it.

I'm sorry to hear for your loss, Leo.

Perhaps you can honor their memory

by assisting me
in the defense of this town.

-Yes, splendid idea.
-[Alebrije] Hello again. There you are.

-Tell us about this new Jersey Devil.
-Hey.

-What was wrong with the old Jersey Devil?
-Come back.

That is the cannonball fired
by the Naval hero Stephen Decatur,

the only man ever to wound the beast.

-Decatur?
-The commodore was my grandfather.

I've been searching his journals,
looking for some clue,

a key to destroy the monster for good.

But you haven't had any luck.

I know the answer is here in the stories,
but so far, nothing.

The tale is a frightful one.

The woman named Mother Leeds
had 12 children.

She said if she ever received a 13th,

that child
would surely be the devil himself.

The woman was a witch.

The child was born normal, but it changed.

It grew hooves.

Its head became the head of a goat.

It developed bat wings and a tail.

My grandfather met the beast
at Hanover Mill.

He fired a cannon shot through its belly
and drove it off.

It was prophesized
that the devil would return

when the world was about to end.

Your grandfather was a hero?

He was.

And I've done nothing
but fail to uphold his name.

Just a tinker
cobbling together useless fancies.

Oh, hello.

[chuckles]

A shiny button.

Huh?

Hmm.

Oh? Ahh.

Whoa!

[grunting]

[groans]

Oops.

Cool.

My Combination Thresher
and Auto-Post-Driver.

Like all my inventions, for naught.

[parson] Open up, Thomas.

It's the parson.

Well, well, Thomas Decatur
caught cavorting with witches.

I always said
you would endanger your soul

with these, um... [chuckles] amusements.

They're not witches.
There's no such thing, Jacob.

He's lying.

I saw.

They came from the sky,
well, like, um, witches.

Everyone calm down.

I think there's been
a misunderstanding here.

We're not witches.

Indeed.

How can you mistake us
for some dirty broom fliers?

We're ghosts.

-Ghosts?
-Not "ghost" ghosts.

They're my friends.

Well, then you admit to associating
with the supernatural?

Yes. No.

It sounds bad when you say it like that.

Teodora, help.

[groans] It's simple.

Leo's talked to ghosts his whole life.

But then his grandmother
turned into a demon

and there were all these other demons
that we had to deal with, so--

Stop helping.

And you have a tiny, disgusting imp
with you.

How hideous.

Hey.

Seeing me this way says more about you
than it does me. Ooh.

I've heard enough.

They are in league with the devil.

-Sinners. Sinners all.
-Sinners, all of them.

-Double weird.
-And you look silly.

Wait. Tensions are high,
but I promise you, my friends and I

have absolutely nothing to do
with your devil monster.

[monster roaring]

[townspeople screaming]

[hissing]

Okay, this doesn't look good.

[man] It's the devil!

[all screaming]

We must get to the cannons.

We'll help. Tell us what to do.

[yelling]

[grunts]

[roars]

Heave.

[roars]

Is everything within this damnable town
flammable?

This is the last one.

Maybe if you didn't sh**t at us
you'd have more.

[monster roars]

I don't understand.

My new cannonballs are more accurate
and travel faster.

They should be more effective, not less.

Think somebody forgot to tell him.

[roars]

[all yell]

[growling]

[yells]

[roars]

[panting]

[parson] So, you finally
sent away your vile beast.

-Uh, excuse me?
-Our town has been peaceful for weeks.

-The minute you show up--
-Are you nuts?

We were protecting you.

Arrest them!

To await trial on the crime of witchcraft.

-[man 1] Boo.
-[man 2] Down with that.

-[man 3] Boo.
-[woman] Boo.

-[man 1] Hey.
-[man 2] Boo.

-Boo.
-[woman] Boo.

Keep it up and you'll join them.

I'm sorry about this.

We'll figure a way to get you out,
I promise.

[Teodora] Okay, what's with you?

You've been moping for hours.

Look around, Teodora.

I've never even left my hometown
before today and now we're in prison.

We don't have the first clue
what we're doing.

I'm never gonna see my abuela again.

Your judgment time has come.

[gavel banging]

The charge is simple: witchcraft.

The result of which

has undermined the moral center
of this community

and put us at risk of devilry.

Now, hang on-- [muffled grunts]

Keep those witch thoughts to yourself,
Witch Boy.

As the perpetrator's guilt is obvious
to any reasonable party,

I shall now render the guilty verdict.

Surely, we are not so unenlightened

as to give this boy and his friends
no chance at a proper defense.

A fair point.

It--? It is?

We wouldn't want any judgment
rendered by this court

to be seen as, uh, biased.

Tell me,
are there any decent God-fearing lawyers

who'd like to jeopardize their soul
and defend these devils?

Yeah, that's fair.

I will.

Your Judgliness, I am a licensed barrister
in the Spanish courts,

and I would like to represent my friends,
as well as myself.

A b--? You?

[chuckles] A self-proclaimed ghost
want to represent this boy

-against charges of the supernatural?
-Yes.

Let the record show
the defendant is receiving legal counsel

from the dead.

Don't worry, Leo.

I read a book on the law
during an especially boring journey

to the West Indies.

Ahem.

We might assume my client is a witch.

He does, after all, travel with ghosts,
a magical creature,

and fly in an airship
fueled by unknown properties.

He's doing so well.

But what do we know about witches?

Witches, my dear townsfolk, wear hats.

And is my client wearing a hat?

[all gasp]

He could have taken off the hat.

Well, yes, he could have,
but witches also have brooms.

[groans] He could have left it at home.

I hadn't thought of that.

He makes a pretty good case.

[parson] Enough foolishness.

This court will use the tried
and true method of detecting witches.

Huh?

Huh?

It's called a Trial by Fire.

Basically, they set us on fire,

and if we burn, we aren't witches
and not guilty. You're welcome.

The four of you have been accused
of witchcraft, demonry,

and New Jersey devilry.

How plead you?

Not guilty.

Definitely.

-Then let the Trial by Fire begin.
-[Don Andres] Oh, my.

I may have spotted a small flaw
in the plan.

-You think?
-[monster roaring]

[townspeople screaming]

[roaring]

[screaming]

That was close.

[Leo whimpering]

Oh, come on.

[chuckles]

Ha!

[screams]

[Leo grunting]

Wait, why are you struggling?

You're a ghost.

Hmm? Oh!

-Oh!
-[chuckles] Right.

Hold on, friend Leo, I'll save you.

[screaming]

[boy] Help!

Help!

Not to rush you, but my toes are cooking!

[grunting]

[boy] Help!

Help!

-Oh, my goodness.
-[woman] Oh, my God, he saved us.

I told you we're not witches.

What does it matter?
The devil took Decatur.

It's only a matter of time
before it gets us all.

You're wrong. None of you listened
to Decatur and look where it got you.

Ignorance doesn't work.

Maybe it's time to try it his way.

Don't listen to this boy.

He'll doom us all.

No. The Jersey Devil can be beaten.

But only if you get past your fear
and work together as a community.

Objection. Irrelevant.

This isn't the way.

You're choosing damnation.

Leo, how can we defeat the Jersey Devil
when Decatur couldn't?

I think I got something.

Take a look at this.

Everything you need is here.

We do this like Decatur would've,
using logic and science.

Anybody needs me, I'll be in the library.

Olé!

[snoring]

Huh?

That's it.

[groans, then snoring]

-Is it ready?
-Ready as it's gonna be.

Ooh, one more thing. I know Decatur
ran out of his new cannonballs.

But do we have any of the old design?

[growls]

[roaring]

Come, beast.

I will not quiver when I meet my end.

[roars]

[roars]

[man whistles]

Tallyho, devil.

Run away!

[laughs]

Woohoo!

Hey. You know what they say
about giving the devil his due.

[Teodora] You missed.

You missed again.

Come on.

-Is that the best you can do?
-You wanna switch?

No, I'm good.

[roaring]

[Teodora gasps]

[roars]

[gasps]

Hey, personal space.

[Leo yelps]

Alebrije!

Oh, no.

Ha, ha!

[roars]

[grunting]

Ow! Ow! Ow

-Alebrije, now!
-Oh, okay.

That left a mark.

Ew!

And a puddle.

Gross.

[Leo] So, after I read
the commodore's journals,

I remembered the iron bucket
was the only thing to hurt the devil.

I made the connection and wondered
if maybe it had some weakness to iron.

Which is why my new alloy cannonballs
didn't work.

It was the impurities in the iron
that damaged it. Leo, that's brilliant.

You have the makings of a fine inventor.

We can't thank you enough.

Because of you, the town sees the values
in Decatur's inventions.

From now on,
New Jersey will be a paradise.

[Teodora] Yeah.

Good luck with that.

There's one more thing.

I found this wax disc
while fixing your ship.

I surmise it can be played
by some kind of device.

The grooves seem to indicate information
like a record.

-[Alebrije] What do you think it could be?
-Does it matter?

Decatur said we need a device to play it
and we don't have one.

Oh, you mean like that thing?

[gasps]

Godofredo?

He's not really there, Leo.

Hello, Leo.

If you're receiving this, then I'm gone.

Which means you deserve to know the truth.

It was no accident
that I was in your village.

I belong to a secret society,
the Brotherhood.

For centuries, we men of letters
have been the secret chroniclers

of the paranormal.

We held one goal above all,
to prevent the coming of Quetzalcoatl.

You should know Quetzalcoatl's kindred
are called legends

and they exist all over the world.

It is imperative
you seek out the Brotherhood.

They will help you in your quest.

Begin in Germany.

Good luck, Leo.

And if I never said it while I was alive,
well:

[record skipping]

And I-- And I-- And I--

-And I-- And I-- And I--
-[Leo] What?

And you what?

If he says this Brotherhood can help...

that's where I'm going.

[Alebrije] We're with you, Leo.

Now it's so boring...

-[muffled grunting nearby]
-[gasps]

[gasps]

Oh, thank you, Thomas.

I thought I'd never get out of there.

What happened?

Were you attacked during services?

Services?

[stammers] I've been locked in there
for weeks.

[chuckling]

[laughing evilly]