01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Halt!

In formation!

Ah. Hey, Prefix, let me go in front.

-No, Suffix, you go behind!

-What is your problem?

Why can't you keep in line?

Excuse me, children, excuse me.

By Toutatis, your chief,

Vitalstatistix, is coming through!

Come on now, come on, keep calm.

There's enough for everybody.

Ah! Thank you, Getafix.

Next!

-Next!

-Oh, dear.

Are they all going to have

some magic potion, do you think?

Oh, yeah. All except one.

Very good.

No, not for you, Obelix.

You fell in when you were a boy.

It's just so unfair. Come on, Dogmatix.

Here, Asterix.

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Legion, attack!

Oh, yoo-hoo, Pidiped!

Ready!

Spread out now!

In staggered rows!

Regroup now! Tortoise!

I'm feeling a bit weak, Getafix.

No, Obelix, no magic potion for you.

I told you a thousand times

that you fell in…

Okay, okay, I get it.

Where's your helmet? Huh?

Where is your hat?

Fall back now!

Run away!

It's good of them to keep attacking when

they know they can't win. Right, Asterix?

These Romans are crazy!

ASTERIX & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGH

Asterix?

Asterix?

Oh. You nearly scared Dogmatix.

Yeah, but I'm the winner, aren't I?

Your turn to go first.

Oh, all right.

Where is it? Here!

Happy birthday, Asterix!

Oh, wow! You did such a great job.

Wait. Happy birthday, Obelix.

Oh, you remembered it too.

We were born on the same day. Here.

Wow. A four-leaf clover.

It's really rare. It's like a talisman

to bring you good luck,

and give you strength.

Give me strength?

Wow, that's great.

It is the year 78 BC.

All of Gaul is free.

Free? Yes.

And life was peaceful

in the Gaulish village.

Everyone lived in harmony.

After all, it was the minus '70s.

-Hello, hello!

-Hello, chief.

Hello!

Good day, Chief Copacetix!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

-Hello, chief!

-Hello, children.

Hello, Chief Copacetix.

Mmm. Ah!

-Good job.

-That's a good stockpile of wood.

Yeah. But we hope the winter

won't be so harsh this year.

Oh, I wouldn't worry yourself about that.

'Cause one thing never changes,

and that's the climate.

Now, I trust you will enjoy

this peaceful and tranquil…

…day.

Getafix?

Getafix?

Are you okay?

No. Not at all.

All right, so… a little bit of this.

Ah, yes.

-Ah, no, no, no, it's still wrong.

-Working on your tragic potion, then?

-"Magic".

-Yeah.

I continue my research to no avail.

-The recipe's lost to the mists of time.

-Oh, yeah, the mists of time.

You're not gonna find it tonight

then, are you?

And that indeed is a problem.

I'm worried about the rise

of Julius Caesar.

Once in power,

if he chooses to invade Gaul,

we won't stand a chance against his army.

Oh, you worry over nothing, Getafix.

This Caesar has no future.

Let's hope so.

Well, the children are waiting.

And that salute of his?

It'll never catch on.

According to tradition,

the Big Fight is organized

when two villages have a conflict.

The chiefs of the villages meet

at a specific place

and fight in front of their tribes. It's…

Asterix, I'm scared.

I'm not sure I know

our mushroom presentation very well.

You'll be fine, don't worry.

After the fight, the loser and his tribe

must submit to the victor.

It's really hard.

That's how the great Chief Vercingetorix…

No, no, I swear. I just can't do it.

-Let's have a rehearsal.

-Uh-huh.

Cap of red with white dots…

Touch you not!

White dots with cap of red, run in dread!

Hey.

You two, concentrate.

Please continue, Impedimenta.

And finally…

Long live our village, by Toutatis!

Well done, Impedimenta and Vitalstatistix.

The work of born leaders.

And now, as you're "the inseparables"

and you like to chatter away,

you can talk in front of the class.

Don't fret, it's okay.

There are two kinds

of mushroom in the forest.

Those that are edible, that you can eat,

and they are delicious.

And the poisonous ones,

that can make you really sick.

Isn't that right, Obelix?

Erm?

Mushrooms.

Er…

And therefore not all mushrooms

are suitable to eat.

Cap of red with white dots, touch you not!

Touch you not!

White dots with cap of red…

…run in dread.

Er… and so this is what happens

when you eat a poisonous mushroom.

Oh, yes. Very theatrical!

Well done, boys.

All right, class dismissed.

Go and have a snack.

Finally!

Obelix?

Obelix.

-How did it go?

-Well!

But I had to talk for the both of us.

That's what friends are for,

though. Right?

What an utter dump this is.

-Hello, Chief Copacetix.

-Hello, hello.

Oh, here's the little angel!

Hello, Cassius Ceramix.

We'll only be gone a few days.

Are you sure it's all right?

Of course!

We have to help out our neighbours

from time to time, don't we?

And everyone loves him here.

Mmm!

Are you sure your clover brings good luck?

Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Eh?

-Tell me, what are you doing?

-Enough, Cassius Ceramix!

Go on, give it a go!

Just a tiny little jab, right on my chin.

You are even weaker than you were before.

Ding-dong, ding-dong,

ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong!

You're a coward to pick on Obelix.

He's the weakest in the village.

I wouldn't pick on him

if he was stronger than me, would I?

You idiot!

Oh! Let's play,

"If I catch you two, I hit you".

-It's a cool game, right?

-Er…

Go on, then!

I see you!

I'm coming to get you!

Oh, yoo-hoo!

Getafix.

Quick! In the druid's hut!

-No, we're not allowed!

-He went out, come on!

No, Asterix.

I'm not going inside, I'm too scared.

Found you!

Ah!

Dogmatix!

You're just a coward!

The wuss calling me a coward?

"I'm scared of going

into the druid's hut!"

I'm not scared at all!

Oh, sure. And my mum's called Belenus.

I'm not scared to go in the druid's hut.

We'll go tonight, so we will!

Ha! And how will you prove it, huh?

-We'll bring back a sickle.

-You can find sickles everywhere.

Oh, yeah? Not the golden sickle, though!

Asterix, not the golden sickle.

-It gives mistletoe magic powers.

-The golden sickle?

-No.

-Yeah.

Hmm? Oh, all right.

Bring me the golden sickle,

and I'll leave you alone.

But if you come back empty-handed…

you can kiss your milk teeth goodbye!

Asterix, let's tell Cassius Ceramix

we couldn't find the hut, yeah?

Come!

O-Okay.

What do we do if Getafix comes back?

Red cape and white beard? Be afeared!

Hey, Obelix! Shhh!

Er… shhh.

Oh.

Mmm.

Right, then…

Hmm.

Mmm.

A bit bland.

Hmm? A huge prawn.

Ah. Hmm.

Yummy.

Oh, druid!

Tummy ache!

Hmm?

Well, you look well enough.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm not well, and my head hurts.

And my neck as well.

Hmm, he doesn't seem to be very well.

Yes. Well, let's see

what I can find in my hut.

Mmm!

Not here.

Hmm.

Ah!

Never a quiet dinner. Where is it?

Let's see now. Hmm.

Mmm, yes.

My friends,

I raise my horn

to our eternal Gaulish civilization.

So then, digestion… Where did I put it?

Ah, here we are.

It's a grandma's remedy, but it works.

Phew!

And remember that we have nothing to fear…

Hmm?

…but the sky falling upon our heads.

And that ain't gonna happen.

Oh, no!

Oh!

By Toutatis!

What have you done, my children?

My son!

Oh, my little honey boarlet!

Oh, he's so delicate.

He's so fragile!

Asterix, why did you want

my golden sickle?

Uh, just so that I could…

take a look at it.

Right.

Ah, his fever's going down.

Mmm?

Oh.

I'm hungry.

Oh, Belisama, thank you!

He's hungry! He's hungry! Oh.

Tuck in!

Ah!

-At least he didn't lose his appetite.

-A little bit more, please.

Mmm, eat up, my boy. Eat up.

Eat up! Eat up! Eat up! Eat up!

-He's munching.

-Oh, is that too much?

-Still grazing.

-He can eat, that lad.

This shows an eating disorder

you may find upsetting,

especially if you're a wild boar.

Please visit wildboar-danger.com

for help and support.

I actually had quite a bit of time there,

didn't I? Don't know quite why I ru--

I'm sorry, Getafix.

It's all my fault.

Do you think Obelix still wants

to be my friend?

Of course.

The main thing is that it ended well.

Go on, scram.

Hmm. There we are, Dogmatix.

Hmm.

Oh, good shot. Hmph!

I'll get you back.

There, look at the size of this one!

Er…

-What was that?

-What was that noise?

-That's crazy!

-Oh, for goodness’ sake.

Hey. Not bad.

But can you lift more?

How about this?

Wow.

Er, that?

A menhir.

Er, well, no, that is much too big.

Oh, it's okay.

Actually, it gives me balance.

Hup, hup, hup.

You are superhuman.

Hmm, hup! Hup, hup, whoo-whoo!

-Whoa!

-Oh.

Well, they could've been placed

like this on their own.

Oh, these menhirs are sacred

and haven't moved for thousands of years!

What shall we say?

Erm, about the menhirs, I'm not sure.

But about your strength,

not a word, Obelix.

It's our secret.

Hello. So I see

you don't have the golden sickle.

Dear oh dear, that really is tough.

So who's first?

Oh, no, Asterix.

Can I tell him about our secret?

No, Obelix, we said we can't tell anyone.

No, but… No, but please, just him.

Honestly, I promise, no one else, Asterix.

-No, Obelix.

-Oh, go on! Just Cassius.

-We promised though.

-Oh no, just him, please, please!

Stop! So what is this secret?

You're gonna tell me right now!

Well, you sure know how to keep a secret.

Yeah. He did say right now.

No. It was very bright.

And its light shone all around.

Hmm. I've put

the same ingredients in though.

Did you add anything, Obelix?

Er, not sure.

Oh, yes! A huge prawn.

Hmm?

Like this?

-No, bigger.

-Bigger.

-Like this?

-No, even bigger.

-Like this?

-Yeah, that's it! Yeah, a huge prawn.

Ah, well, this is a lobster.

-Mmm?

-Yes.

Did you add anything else?

Strawberries.

Lobster and strawberries? Hmm.

Quick, quick, quick. Get down.

Hmm?

Mmm.

Obelix, are you sure

you put nothing else in?

A mushroom, a fruit, a herb, a flower?

Hmm… No, I don't think so.

Your four-leaf clover!

You're so stubborn, Getafix!

You're wasting your time,

there aren't any here.

I swear that night will fall

long before you can find a four-leaf…

I got one!

What?

Yeah, that's it. It has the same light.

So that's what was missing from my recipe.

-Ah, I'll taste it.

-No.

Obelix, you fell into it.

Drinking more could be dangerous.

-Oh.

-I'm going to try.

Hmm.

I've been wanting

to move this thing for a while.

-But it's…

-The magic potion.

Whoa.

Hmm. It would seem

the effect is temporary.

On you too, Obelix?

No.

We will need some time

to study this prodigy.

So, for now,

let's keep this potion our secret.

Getafix, I think

you're being overly cautious.

We're wise enough to use it

intelligently and reasonably.

More! More! More! More! More! More! More!

That's it!

That's enough. No more magic potion!

But Getafix, where can my logs go?

Do you really want to know?

We'll only use this magic potion

in self-defence

if the village is in danger.

That won't be anytime soon.

Children…

Some… insufferable…

It's ready.

Here, Asterix.

Halt!

ASTERIC & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT