Wedding Banquet, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Welcome to the 15th annual

Seattle API LGBTQIA+

Equality Gala!

Breathe.

Seattle,

how y'all doing tonight?

Jeffrey?

Lady Shu Mai.

Ma.

Let's dance! Whoo!

It's giving mother. Come on!

Yas, queen.

Angela!

Angela! Come up here.

The next award goes to one of

the most tireless advocates

for the LGBTQ Asian-American

community here in Seattle.

One of the founding members

of API PFLAG,

she has volunteered countless

hours to our language hotline

and fried up countless scallion

pancakes for our meetings.

This year's recipient

of the

Christina Cho Ally Award is...

May Chen.

Thank you, Marshall.

Thank you, everyone.

When Angela's father

passed away,

I knew it was my responsibility

to protect Angela.

When she came out to me, I knew

I had to be there for her.

I had to be the best mother

and love her unconditionally,

no matter what.

Parenthood is an invitation--

You should come to

the PFLAG meetings.

I've invited her.

She never wants to come.

Your mother

has told us everything.

Like the time she found you

looking at l*sbian porn,

and you told her it was

for a figure drawing class.

Yeah.

Oh. Have you met Lee?

Angela's partner.

-Hi.

-Oh, hi.

She's the executive director

of the Hometown Pride

Social Services.

Oh, I have heard so much

about you.

Oh, I'm sure you have.

Susan, did I tell you I'm gonna

be a grandmother soon?

So exciting!

-Yes.

-Ma.

Lee did IVF.

The donor is Taiwanese.

He went to Yale.

He's a cardiologist.

-His sperm was very expensive.

-Oh.

Well, my implantation

was a couple of weeks ago,

so we don't know for sure yet.

But it seems good, right?

I mean,

we're cautiously optimistic.

Just managing expectations.

The first time didn't work out.

The first time never works.

I told her not to talk about it,

and I just don't want her

to jinx it.

It's okay. It's fine.

She's just excited.

So am I.

I know it's scary,

but we have to let ourselves

hope a little bit.

I hope the baby has your nose.

It's my mama's nose.

I'd like that.

I hope the baby has your eyes.

You know it's not my sperm.

I can still hope.

Why am I here?

Uh, you're here to appreciate

the work

and celebrate your boyfriend.

Second question.

Why are you here?

For the free food and booze.

And to hang out with my cousin.

Thanks.

Last question.

Your social anxiety

is k*lling my vibe.

Joke's on you.

My anxiety is generalized.

-Hey.

-Hey.

Hi! You survived.

Oh, barely.

Oh, thank God.

Oh. How'd it go?

Well, it was classic May Chen.

Triggering.

- Wow.

- Babe.

I've not seen you

do that since...

...freshman orientation.

Freshman orientation?

Oh, you know,

when these two confused

little idiots--

Started their codependent

relationship with a bang.

Right.

I can't believe

you guys f*cked.

What do you think?

I'm going to her place.

Hmm. I can't tell behind

all the hair and leather.

It's my type.

Is it cool if I bounce?

Yeah. Just text after,

so I know you're safe.

-I'll be fine.

-Text me.

Okay.

This hot mess is all yours.

Bye, babes. Mwah.

Kind of a mean thing to say

to your cousin.

Whatever. Peace!

Let's go see

some student art.

Wow.

He made these?

Isn't that wild?

f*ck, yeah, Min.

I'm not being polite.

I really love these.

-That one's my favorite.

-Mm.

Oh, I love this too.

You left me.

You looked busy.

Never too busy for you.

-Thank you for coming.

-Aww, of course.

Min, it's so beautiful.

Seattle, how we doing tonight?

We could have carpooled.

We love you, Shu Mai!

-And lions!

-Woo-hoo!

Go! Wait, now you do

the blinking.

Yes!

That's perfect.

Did you see that little twitch?

Oh, my God.

Why am I always the butt?

Beautiful.

You know, this baby

is gonna change everything.

No more late nights.

No, there's gonna be

plenty of late nights.

Just not like this one.

Chris and I will be

very good guncles.

We can babysit anytime.

-Yeah?

-I'll teach the baby art

and Chris

will change the diapers.

Poop? You're giving me poop?

Oh, my God!

-Good night.

-Good night.

See ya tomorrow.

So, what do you wanna

watch tonight?

Housewives.

-Ooh. Which city?

-Hm, any of them.

Oh, vintage Beverly Hills

with Camille Grammer.

Eww. Slimy.

Hey, that's expensive stuff.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Hey, birders. There's

a heron by the yellow irises.

And a wood duck drake

swimming by.

You'll notice the white line

extending below the bill

and also above the eyes.

You mean the squealer ducks.

Yes. They are also

called squealers.

You are so cute.

Do you have a boyfriend?

You should have a boyfriend.

I've got a nephew that

I'm pretty sure is g*y.

Okay, group, let's keep

migrating down this way.

Maybe he's pansexual.

I think I saw

some wrens.

Oh, sh*t!

Hey. What's up?

I just tried to use

the Discover card to get coffee.

Remember, we consolidated

that into the Visa.

We have to pay

for this parenthood thing.

Right.

Yep. Just cut it up.

I'm cutting it up.

Feeding it to your worms.

They're moth larvae,

and they're busy

recycling polyethylene.

Not sure their saliva breaks

down PVC.

Okay, well,

you get back to saving

the world.

Love you.

I love you, I love you,

I love you.

Hey, would you check on Kenneth?

He needs an agency referral

for the downtown shelter.

I don't think he's 18 yet.

You got it.

So...?

Do you feel any different?

I don't know.

Do I seem different?

Yeah. It's exciting.

You are gonna be a great mother.

I guess maybe this one

feels a little different.

Hey, Chris. Morning.

Ahh! What the hell?

sh*t.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t!

I'm sorry

this one didn't stick.

Is there anything wrong?

All the tests look good.

But of course, age

may be playing a factor here.

It's not unusual for IVF

to take a few goes at it.

If you want to try again.

Just know

that we don't recommend

more than three treatments.

It's difficult for the patient.

We can try again.

We can't afford it.

We'll save up.

That could take us years.

I don't have years.

We can take out another

mortgage on the house.

I'm not taking out

another mortgage

just to have another failed IVF.

Okay? I can't handle that.

What if you did the IVF?

What?

No, this is important to you.

This is your thing.

I mean, this is important to us.

I wanna have a family with you.

You're younger,

so you have more time.

Look, it just feels selfish.

Pregnancy is something

you wanted to experience,

-not me.

-I'm sorry.

Are you saying

that I'm being selfish

-for wanting to be pregnant?

-I'm not saying anything.

It's just that...

Can you just drop it?

Would you f*cking turn around?

Ang, you can't treat me

like your mom.

What the hell does that mean?

It means that you can be

honest with me

about what you're feeling,

what you want.

You don't have to simmer

and not confront anything.

Like your mom's speech

at the Gala.

What?

Nothing. I...

-I'm simmering.

-God! Can you please--

That is my way

of confronting things.

-Oh, my God!

-People confronting--

What the hell?

Min, stop throwing things.

Oh, my God.

No!

Why don't you believe me?

What are you so scared of?

-Min. Min.

-What is going on?

Min proposed.

Oh, my God!

It's Cartier. Congratulations.

Uh...

I tell you how much

you mean to me.

-How much I--

-Bullshit!

Tell them why

you really proposed.

I proposed because I love you.

Because I want to be

your husband.

Because his OPT visa runs out

in a few months

and he doesn't wanna go

back to Korea.

No! You're making this up.

Your grandmother just threatened

to yank you back to Korea.

I bought the ring before.

It's just...

weird timing.

I'm not gonna marry you

so you can get a green card.

Oh, f*ck green card!

I don't even want to be

an American.

Your trains are so slow,

and I never know

how much to tip.

What about your family?

You come out, they cut you off.

We'll talk to you later.

No. Stay.

Look, I am not gonna

be responsible

for you losing your money.

I am not gonna be responsible

for you being disowned

by your family.

And I am not gonna be

responsible for

whatever the f*ck apocalyptic

coming out party

you have planned for yourself.

It's too much!

Chris.

I love you.

Isn't my proposal...

throwing everything away...

proof of that?

Oh, that's beautiful.

-Babe.

-It's romantic.

There are other ways for you

to stay in the country

while you sort your life out.

You could enroll online at UW

and take a Photoshop class.

Or learn Google Sheets.

That'll buy you a year

to figure--

I don't want a year!

I told you, I want a life.

And I'm already so good

at Google Sheets!

You sh*t-talk me

in front of our friends.

Disrespect our relationship.

As if a stupid green card

is the only thing

I ever wanted from you.

Wait, Min. Hold on.

I only asked you to marry me...

because I thought

you would say yes.

Oh, my God.

You two are the same.

Just say something.

Min!

Oh, f*ck.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

We knew it would be difficult.

Is Lee gonna try again?

I don't think so.

The expectation.

The disappointment.

It was really hard on her.

You know, she asked me

if I would do it.

What? The IVF?

-Weird.

-I know.

Lee, I can see pregnant.

Min, I can see pregnant.

But you?

I... whatever.

Doesn't matter

if it's Lee or me.

'Cause we don't have the money.

So...

Lee would be such a good mom.

So would you.

You have mother issues.

It's not the same thing

as motherhood issues.

Yeah, it actually is.

So, are you gonna do long

distance with Min in Korea?

Uh... I don't know. I think...

we'll just take it day by day.

You've been taking it

day by day for five years.

Min, birding instead

of finishing your dissertation.

q*eer theory takes the joy

out of being g*y.

You live in our garage.

Okay, you gotta commit

to something at some point.

God, we're f*ck.

d*ck's!

d*ck's!

I want to suck your d*ck.

I want more d*ck's.

-Shh.

-Shh!

Shut up. Shut up, you fool.

Shut up.

Let's do it.

-...teenagers or something.

-I think so too.

Or that we were 50?

I can't tell.

-No in-between.

-No in-between.

Do it. I dare you.

Do what?

Mm.

No. Not again.

Will you marry me?

Min, I can't.

Not you.

I don't want to marry you

anymore.

I want to marry her.

Me?

What?

We're friends.

We help each other.

Okay.

I heard all about the IVF,

and I'm so, so sad.

But, until my grandfather

takes my money away,

I have so much money.

I want you to have some so you

and Lee can have a family.

So, I have a proposal.

You marry me, and I'll pay

for Lee to grow a baby.

You're joking, right?

He's joking, right?

I mean, it's... It's an idea.

A very good one.

No! This is absurd.

This is crazier

than you marrying me.

You left me no choice.

Okay, why is he proposing to me?

You marry him.

Hon, my entire career

is being g*y.

I don't think we would clear

the green card interview.

I'm g*y, too, remember?

Yeah, but you work

in a worm lab.

You don't talk to anyone.

I mean, you've been

with dudes before.

-Okay, I can't marry him.

-I can't either.

Neither of you are marrying

my boyfriend.

So, you do want to marry me?

No!

This is all very hard on my ego.

I'm still mad.

You look like a ghost.

You're drunk.

A hot, g*y ghost.

Are you smiling under there?

Hmm?

Just give me a minute

to figure stuff out.

I will, I promise.

I just need some time.

Dad loved this house.

This is what he spent

his life savings on.

When he bought it, he, um...

He said, "Angeline.

"We're keeping Duwamish land

in Duwamish hands.

They can burn our longhouses,

but they can't make us leave.

This is ours forever."

And when we moved in, he said

this was gonna be my room.

If I ever had a kid,

it'd be their room someday too.

Well, it's a good room.

-Mm-hmm.

-Yeah.

And it's a good house.

Yep.

Good house with a fat mortgage.

It's a home.

Hey, leave it.

What if I took up Min

on his offer?

Come on.

I'm serious. Stop.

Look, I marry Min, he gives us

the money for the IVF.

Angela.

You're not serious.

Look, I'm a hundred percent

serious.

He wants to help us.

We should help him.

Min needs his green card,

and Chris needs help too.

I mean, he needs time

to sort things out with Min.

-Look, I--

-No, I can't.

I can't ask you to do that.

If there's even

a one percent chance

that this could work...

I want you to try again.

Okay. Yes.

Yes... what?

I'll marry you.

You'll pay for Lee's IVF.

And I'll marry you.

Are you crying?

Oh!

Calm down?

How am I supposed to calm down?

Look at it this way.

It's for the cause.

We're helping a g*y couple

stay together.

If they want to be together,

they can get married

themselves.

Why did I put years of activism

into g*y marriage

-if this is what I get?

-You're getting a grandkid.

Play along until after Min

gets his green card. Okay?

Play along?

My own daughter marrying a man!

Oh.

Angela.

You look like sh*t.

Hey, how's that situation with

your landlord, by the way?

-Do you need my help?

-I'm fine. Stop babying me.

No, seriously, cuz.

You look like crap.

-I didn't get much sleep.

-Why?

This is the perfect solution

for you.

More limbo. More of

your millennial indecision.

Just staring at birds.

You get to maintain

your exquisitely

ambivalent relationship

to the best thing

that's ever happened to you.

You even get to co-parent,

or whatever,

without any

real responsibilities.

You think I'm being stupid?

I don't think

you're being stupid.

I just don't understand you.

If I say yes to Min,

then his whole world comes

crashing down,

and our whole relationship

with it.

And I couldn't handle that.

Okay?

Just don't overthink it.

You're kidding.

Delete all of them?

All of it.

Every Pride Parade photo.

Every National

Coming Out Day post.

Can I still post

Instagram stories?

Look, do you want grandchildren?

I'll delete Instagram now.

Thank you.

So, this is good.

When it's all over,

I'll have a whole new story

to tell at my meetings.

I'm just joking.

-Just joking.

-No. No, you're not.

This is all about you.

This has always been

all about you, hasn't it?

- Lee, tell her.

- Ms. Chen...

I wouldn't be doing any of this

if I didn't love you.

Why do you think it took me

so long to come out to you?

And after I did, you refused

to speak to me for years.

Anything to avoid the subject.

Anything to not be honest.

And then you suddenly

appear back in my life

as some kind of...

supermom.

You never acknowledged anything.

Or apologized.

Do you know how much

that hurt me?

I am making up for it.

God, I hate that people

give you awards.

I hate that people think

you're a good mother.

I hate that I feel like

I have to be grateful.

'Cause I'm not.

I guess I took your advice

and confronted things.

Yeah, you feel better?

No.

Maybe. I...

Now I feel kind of bad for her.

Yeah, well...

She needed to hear that.

You needed to say it.

Let's table this for when

we get home, huh?

What is it?

Surprise!

Oh, what is going on?

Well, you and Min are getting

married next week.

And I felt like celebrating

our final days as gays

before you become Mrs. Min Hyun.

This is your

bachelorette party.

This is so stupid.

Exactly. You get to be

that straight drunk girl

just rubbing up against all

the g*y-for-pay go-go boys.

Guys, grab your shots.

- Who wants a double?

- Here you go.

Cheers, everyone!

Cheers!

I know this is stupid

and you're very smart.

But sometimes,

it's important to be stupid.

-Now, finish your drink.

-Mm-hmm.

Oh, let's go, drink.

Hey, sleepyhead.

You wanna get going?

Not yet.

Hey, I was thinking.

Mm-hmm?

What if we took the money

and did something

really fun with it?

The IVF money?

Yeah.

Like, what if we traveled,

took time off, saw the world?

Just us.

Okay. You're drunk.

Okay, I'm drunk. So what?

What?

I'm sorry, I just...

We're doing this

because it's something

we both want, right?

No. Yeah. Yes.

But maybe

it's not the right time.

I just really like spending time

with you. You're so great.

And you've always

wanted to go to Europe.

No, I want a child.

I thought you wanted that too.

I mean, if it happens,

it happens.

No, not for g*y people, honey.

I'm sorry.

Ang, where is this coming from?

I...

I'm gonna be a shitty mother.

Just like my mom.

And I don't want us to waste

our time and money and then

f*ck up our relationship.

Lee, it's not worth it.

Okay, okay, look.

We can talk about your mom.

We can talk about

all the rest of this sh*t

in the morning, okay?

When we're both calm.

Stop. Stop. You are not

my f*cking therapist.

Okay. I'm going home.

Marry me.

-What?

-Marry me.

Min. Please, come on.

It would be easier.

You and me.

What about Angela?

I already gave her the money.

Min. I told you--

You told me

you needed more time.

I gave you more time.

A week is not more time.

Then how much time do you need

to decide that you love me?

You tell me to be patient.

You promised me

we'll figure this out.

I never promised...

I'd marry you.

Min, wait. Wait, Min.

Let me explain. Hold on, wait.

I'm staying at the studio.

What did you do?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Where's Lee?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Bar.

Ever since I was

a little kid, she...

She's never seen me.

I see you.

I see you.

I see you.

-I'm never not gonna see you.

-I close my eyes and I see you.

Whoa!

Chris!

No! No!

m*therf*cker!

Oh, sh*t.

Did we?

f*ck. Oh, f*ck. f*ck!

f*ck!

Okay. How do we, um--

Process this?

We both had a shitty night.

Where we disappointed

our partners.

And we needed, um... comfort.

But we were both too drunk

to use our words.

So instead, we...

Boned?

Oh, God.

But we don't have any...

Romantic feelings for each other

because we're best friends

and we have no desire to--

Ever do this again!

Okay.

Oh, sh*t. It's Min.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Hey.

Uh... Uh-huh.

No. Yeah. I mean, yes.

No. Start over.

Sorry, I wasn't listening.

I'm sorry. No, no, no.

Now I'm listening.

-Angela? Lee?

-Shh! Jesus. What is it?

Hold on, hold on.

I'm putting you on speaker.

Okay. It's Min.

Hello?

Hi. Uh, good morning, Angela.

-What's going on?

-I'm on my way to the airport.

Because Min's grandmother

flew in from Korea

to meet her future

granddaughter-in-law.

We gotta de-q*eer the house.

God, you have so much

l*sbian literature.

Wait, wait. Min. Is your grandma

coming right now?

She called me from Customs.

It was a big surprise.

I'm sorry.

Just take her somewhere else.

Nowhere else.

She wants to meet you.

If my grandmother thinks

you're marrying me for money,

she'll blow the whole plan up.

Min, don't you think

you can just explain

the situation to her?

My grandmother and my g*y...

Maybe she knows, but we never,

ever, ever say it.

My grandfather hates gays.

He's the biggest g*y hater

in Korea.

-Jesus.

- Please!

We just need to fool her

for a few nights.

We'll go to city hall Friday,

get married, she goes home.

Everything's fine.

How much time do we got?

Forty-five minutes.

One hour, if there's traffic.

Thank you.

Okay.

What are we supposed to do,

exactly?

Move all your g*y things

into the guest house.

-Seriously, why do we--

-Clean now, talk later, ladies.

Come on! Let's go, go, go!

Fine! Okay, okay.

No, no, no. No.

It ties the room together.

I don't think Min's grandma

will know that's l*sbian.

The Indigo Girls are

surprisingly popular in Korea.

Huh.

You.

What?

You look g*y.

Hmm.

Everything in this house is g*y!

Honey, I'm home!

Honey?

I hear her.

I hear her. Get out of here.

Halmeoni, this is Angela.

It's so nice to meet you,

Mrs. Hyun.

Oh...

There are people in your garden.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Lee and Chris.

They're friends.

They're a couple?

Uh, yup. Yup. Mm-hmm.

He's very... elegant.

Have you picked a wedding date?

Yeah, we have an appointment

at the city hall on Friday.

Appointment?

What do you mean, appointment?

An appointment.

Getting your marriage license.

But when is your wedding?

Uh...

Angela and I decided

we don't want a ceremony.

No ceremony?

Yeah.

It's not important to us.

We just wanna get married

as quickly as possible.

Yes. While you're here.

And you can go back to Korea.

What is going on here?

What do you mean?

No ceremony?

What, is this sham marriage?

Halmeoni, this isn't a sham.

Do you love her?

Yes, of course. I love Angela.

-Um, can I--

-Really?

Oh, okay.

Of course.

She knows.

You're a couple?

Mm-hmm.

You want a baby?

Yeah.

And you two...

How long?

Five years.

What did she say?

She said we're dumb.

-Huh?

-What?

No wedding is too suspicious.

People will talk.

And Korean people

are very good at talking.

I do not want people

to talk about our family.

If your grandfather

hears that you are g*y,

he will blame me,

and we'll have no money.

You must have a wedding.

For me.

A wedding.

Mrs. Hyun, I don't--

I promise.

How long is this gonna take?

Three weeks.

What do you think?

-Okay. Fine.

-Thank you!

Thank you! Thank you.

I'm fine.

Hey, can we talk about

last night?

No.

No, we actually

need to talk about it.

You can't cute

your way out of it.

Look, I was an as*h*le.

I'm sorry.

What was all that sh*t

you were saying?

Look, it wasn't sh*t.

It was all true.

I do wanna travel

the world with you.

And I do wanna spend

more time with you,

just the two of us.

And when the brat

goes off to college

or summer camp or whatever,

we are gonna f*cking live it up.

I'm sorry.

No.

I'm the sorry one.

For what?

I wasn't listening to you.

You told me you were not ready.

-No, Min. It's not--

-I have no expectation.

After this is all done,

we can talk.

But if you don't see

a future with me...

I can't make you.

Good night.

I know you've already

been through this.

Third time's a charm.

Anything worrying you,

any discomfort,

-you let us know.

-Okay.

We'll implant the embryos

one at a time.

This might be a little cold.

You got this, baby.

You got this. Okay?

Lee. Lee. Lee. Lee!

Hey.

I love you.

I love you, I love you.

I love you too.

Sorry.

-Sorry.

-No.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Jump on in.

-Thanks.

Yeah?

Hi, Angela.

Grandmother and I

were just talking about

our wedding plans and...

And?

Okay.

Kimchi!

Nice. Okay, kimchi!

Beautiful, Ms. Chen.

Can we have more light

in the front?

Okay. Wonderful.

Look at the lens.

Perfect. Cheese!

Cheese.

Excellent.

Let's try looking more in love.

Okay.

Right down the lens.

What are they talking about?

Us being g*y.

-Oh.

-Oh.

No, Mom.

Like an Olympic athlete.

- I don't ski.

- Like in the Olympics.

Like this?

- Right over here.

- Okay, all right.

- Let's not smile.

- Is that okay?

Twist and turn.

That makes

your face look big.

Mom!

You're going down the slope.

There you go.

Let's get closer together.

How you feeling

about tomorrow?

Oh, I just need to get it

over with.

Come on. You can have

a little bit of fun with it.

-Fun?

-Mm-hmm.

You hate weddings.

Are you serious?

What are you talking about?

I love weddings.

Okay, but you're

just anti-marriage.

No, I'm anti-institution.

I am pro-celebration.

Seriously, weddings are...

Weddings are great.

They're culture.

They're...

They're heritage. They're...

Straight people.

They're cake.

You know?

A little "Cha Cha Slide."

They're exhausting.

Seriously, my mom's exhausting.

Everything is exhausting.

It's like... Ugh.

Except you.

You're not exhausting.

Mm-hmm.

I got some of your beans.

-Mmm.

-Eww.

- Come here.

- No. No!

-Yo, he's to your left.

-Oh.

-Headshot.

-Nice.

Apparently, as best man,

I would traditionally carry

a live goose to the ceremony.

Which is weirdly relevant

to my interests.

But now everyone

just uses wood carvings.

What about

an American buff goose?

They're super chill,

really docile.

I think it's more of

a health-code issue.

You know, livestock near food.

It's just gonna be a duck decoy.

You ever, even for a moment,

wish it was you

getting married to Min?

Not just the d*ck with the duck.

Very funny.

Hi.

This is yours. Was on the chair.

I hope it's okay.

Oh. Of course.

Please sit.

I did not know

you are also an artist.

Oh, it's just sketches.

It's a hobby.

Min tells me you attended

many prestigious schools.

Yeah. I guess I have.

Uh, but I'm taking a bit of

a break from grad school.

May I ask about your family?

It's just me and my parents.

Only child.

I wish Min

had a sister or brother.

It can be very hard alone.

There was a lot of expectation.

And it wasn't always

the easiest.

But my parents have come around.

Where are your parents?

They live in Kansas. Wichita.

Kansas.

The Wizard of Oz.

Many white people.

So many white people.

Please get some sleep.

Long day tomorrow.

Weird day.

Hey, best man.

Right over here.

Good. Hold up the duck.

You look like Amidala.

Who?

Padm Amidala.

Queen of Naboo.

Star Wars!

Natalie Portman.

You call yourself American?

What happens next?

Just follow my lead.

Many, many blessings

to you in your marriage.

Whatever the future

has in store for you,

I hope you find

happiness together.

Ready?

What's with the cheers?

It's supposed to represent

the numbers of sons

and daughters we'll have.

Oh.

Jesus. Big family.

Yeah.

-Which ones are which?

-What?

The jujubes and the chestnuts.

Are the chestnuts the sons

or the daughters?

Oh...

They'll have

15 non-binary children.

- Hmm.

- Rock on.

Almost over.

Okay.

Now the walk.

We do the lap now.

Ready?

Oh, my God!

Shut up. Come on.

-Do not drop me.

-Mm-mm.

I don't feel good.

Look at Min sweat.

All the way around.

Hurry up, I don't feel good.

I'm fine now.

Look, I hope

I didn't ruin things.

Everything's fine, don't worry.

Let me feel your forehead.

You're not hot.

Is it something you ate?

I don't think so.

Are any of the guests

still here?

Most of them cleared out pretty

quick after the puking ceremony.

I'm sorry.

Here.

Angela?

Hey.

Angela.

Mom.

I know I'm not a perfect mother,

but I've learned so much

from you.

You're probably not going to

be a perfect mother yourself.

But you will learn too.

Just like how I learned

from you.

If this is what you want.

Mom.

I'm a mess.

You are a miracle mess.

Don't forget that.

I love you, Angela.

I love you, Mom. I love you.

How are you feeling?

Are you okay?

Hey, um...

Can we talk in the guest house?

So...

This was...

p*nis sperms,

not test-tube sperms.

That's one way to put it.

-Are you two...

-No.

God, no. It was just this once.

Unless you count

freshman orientation.

Wait. You were the top?

Not really sure who was where.

Um...

Are you sure it was even me?

Because to be honest,

I don't even remember being--

Don't be even more

of an as*h*le.

Even more of an as*h*le

than what?

Than me. Than us.

We're both assholes, as*h*le.

How do I tell my grandmother?

How do I tell Lee?

Tell me what?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Lee, wait.

- No, Ang.

- That's it.

- I can't handle this anymore.

- Lee!

Leave me alone

for a second.

Please. I'm sorry.

This is a pretty big

b*mb to drop on somebody.

Just give me

a little bit of space!

Lee, I'm sorry

I didn't tell you about Chris.

Wait!

Please, listen to me.

Ang, I don't need

to hear any more details.

Come on. Can we

just talk about this?

Please. Where are you going?

Lee!

He broke up with you?

No.

-I broke up with him.

-What?

He said he wants to figure

this out.

-I just don't know how.

-Chris.

You're an idiot.

You're telling me

that he loves you so much,

he's going through with this

even after you knocked me up?

Just so that he can stay

and be with you?

Do you know how absurd that is?

Exactly. He's wasting his time.

What?

No, that's not what I meant.

I'll be back

for the rest of my things.

Chris. What--

I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

Angela?

I'm back.

Angela was not hungry.

She's sleeping now.

-May I?

-Sure.

Have a seat, please.

Mmm.

Delicious.

Min's favorite dish.

You're such a good cook.

Wedding leftover.

Alcohol?

Very.

What shall we toast?

To the bride and groom?

What happens now?

No idea.

Lee's fertility clinic

follow-up is today.

Are you going to go with her?

She's not answering her texts.

Mom.

What if her IVF doesn't work?

Angela.

What if she doesn't come back,

Mom?

-Hmm.

-Oh.

HYUN'S GRANDSON

MARRIES PRIVATELY IN SEATTLE

We've already done

the embarrassing part.

Min just needs the license.

Anyway, that's...

not why I asked to see you.

Oh.

When I was throwing up...

again

this morning, you know, I was

staring into the toilet bowl,

just kind of meditating, and...

Uh...

I just realized that...

Yeah.

Maybe...

You mean, I'm gonna be...

a dad?

Maybe?

Oh, Jesus.

I don't know.

-What don't you know?

-Everything.

It's your decision to make,

but aren't you worried

that the kid

is gonna end up like me?

I'm worried the kid's

gonna end up like me!

Look, we f*cked up.

We're lost. Fine.

But whatever decision

I make about this baby,

I'm gonna make it.

I will make the decision.

Maybe it's time you made

some decisions of your own.

You all right?

I make decisions.

I make decisions all the time.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

When I'm done

cleaning your apartment,

I'm gonna play

all the Kingdom Hearts

in-between games, including

the one made exclusively

for Verizon subscribers.

Then, when I'm done with that,

maybe I'll dive back in

and finish my dissertation.

How's that for getting

my sh*t together?

I think Angela

was talking about Min.

I love Min.

I love Min too much

to let him down.

Or f*ck things up.

Or hurt him more

than I already have.

He is so good...

and I am not good enough.

When I moved here because of

all that sh*t with our family,

I felt kinda bad

'cause, like,

it seemed like you put

your life on hold.

That's not true.

Just know that you can take

all this time and energy

and focus on you,

'cause I'm good now.

Because of you.

And Angela and Lee and Min.

None of us are

good enough alone.

I don't think you should be

scared about being a dad.

Because you've been

a really good one to me.

Love you, cuz.

Love you too.

- For richer, for poorer.

- For richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health,

till death do us part.

In sickness and in health,

till death do us part.

Rings?

Under the authority vested in me

by the state of Washington,

I now pronounce you married.

You may kiss.

Up next, Hyun-Chen.

Sir, do I have to stand

on this side or that side?

It doesn't matter.

If there's anyone here

who can show just cause

why these two should

not be legally married,

speak now or hereafter

hold their peace.

Great.

Repeat after me. I, Min Hyun.

I, Min Hyun...

Oh, my God, no.

-Uh...

-Hey.

Hey.

Chris.

What's going on here?

Min...

Yes, I'll marry you!

-I have a whole--

-I don't care!

Yes, yes, I'll marry you!

Yeah! Whoo!

Will you be

my lion-dance partner?

Nice. He's all yours.

Okay. We're ready.

I, Min Hyun...

Hold on a second.

I know, confusing, right?

Uh, I don't want to marry

her anymore.

I want to marry him.

You're okay with that?

Yeah. He's my best friend.

And actually, she's pregnant

with my baby.

I, Min Hyun...

It... It doesn't quite

work like that.

See, it's got her name on it.

ID.

What?

g*y lover, baby daddy.

Identification.

Oh, totally. Sure.

Let's go.

-Congratulations.

-Thank you.

-Oh.

-May Chen.

-I'm happy for you.

-Thank you.

Let's have a Chinese wedding.

No!

All right, let's get

this show on the road.

Which side

do I stand on?

It really doesn't matter.

I, Min Hyun...

No. It's Halmeoni.

-Halmeoni.

-Yeah.

-Halmeoni.

-Harmony?

H-A-L-M-O...

I'll get the champagne.

Halmeoni.

N-I. Ni.

- Yeah, right.

- Ni. Ni.

- Say it.

- Halmeoni.

Great.

Can you say "in love"?

I love you,

I love you, I love you.

I love you,

I love you, I love you.

Hi, it's okay.

Hi. Hello.

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh.

Ow, f*ck!

It's okay.

-Uh-oh.

-It's okay.

What time is it?

I'm sorry.

Oh. Hi, honey. Hi.

-Oh, I love you.

-Oh, rough night, huh?

Rough night too.

Aww.

Big drama on the baby monitor.

Everyone okay?

Min, just go back to sleep.

It's my turn to warm

the bottles.

This one needs a change.

Aww.

Wait.

Before anything, group hug.

Sure.

Aww.

-I got you.

-Okay. Let's go.