Birder (2023)

[bunniefuu]

[projector sounds]

[film reel can rolls]

To be honest,

the human thing is not

so complicated.

[doppler sound effect]

You're just organized

matter coded to reproduce.

A fleshy spaceship carrying

salty water on dry land,

so the neurons inside you can

boldly go wherever they want.

[loon calls]

The prime directive?

Eat, f*ck, sh*t, sleep,

and don't get eaten.

Live free and die.

That's live free "or" die.

Hm?

You said "Live free and die."

The state motto is "or die".

Mm.

[coffee grinder whirs]

[pan sizzles]

[fire crackles]

[egg cracks]

[pan sizzles]

[fire hisses]

[zen flute sings]

[water falls]

[cigar-box mandolin

strums a soft melody]

[flute joins the mandolin]

Oh.

Spicy or sweet jerky?

Sweet heat, Dad.

It's the only way.

Hey, Dad!

Who, me?

Nah.

Okay.

Just taking a walk while

I fill my tank.

Where you headed?

Up to Loon Lake.

Ah, Loon Lake.

Nice.

That's funny, I'm

headed there myself.

Yeah?

Yeah.

My folks have a place up there.

Cool, cool.

Lotus Cove.

Lotus Cove?

I'm not allowed to go up there.

Yet.

Are you one of those...

What, birders?

Yeah.

Yeah, I've been called that.

I hear the loons are

pretty epic.

I'm looking forward to it.

Excuse me, can I help you?

Oh, hey.

Sorry, no harm.

I was just asking your son

about the lay of the land he.

I'm coming in from outta state.

Okay, well, so how

can I help you?

You seem like you're from here,

right?

I'm mostly off the grid.

Where are you coming from?

Green River in Vermont.

I've been camping for

the past week.

It's almost as beautiful

as the Lake Country here.

Aren't they looking for

some hiker that went missing?

I saw it on Channel 11

this morning.

Oh, no.

No cell phone.

It's not me.

You guys coming a long ways or?

Yeah, I drove up.

Hi.

Oh, hey. How you doing?

Kristian.

- David.

- David, nice to meet you.

Yeah.

I'm sorry to get

bother you guys,

I was just making

some small talk.

We're not used to pleasant

conversation with strangers.

It's almost alien

where we're from.

Oh, where's that?

Boston?

Yeah.

We got a lake house here

a couple years back.

It's good to get away.

Cool.

You fish?

I do, I do.

I'm a bit of a bird enthusiast.

You know, I'm excited

about the loons tonight.

Catch some fish, hit the fire,

stare at the sky and listen.

Well, howdy.

Everyone around these parts...

either wants to talk about

business back in the city

or say some horrible

sh*t about women.

It's a mixed bag.

Well, look, if you're

in our neck,

feel free to stop by for a beer.

We could drop a line.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's just me and the mosquitoes.

She's not the fishing type, so.

"She"?

Sue.

My wife Sue does not

like to fish.

Hell no.

I'm gonna be catching up

on my New Yorker

magazine this weekend.

You guys can have the boat

and water all to yourselves.

Go play.

Well, thanks for the invite.

You got it.

Our house is in Siren Cove,

right by Snakehair Mountain.

Awesome, all right.

Take care, bud.

[engine revs]

What?

Nothing.

You're so friendly, honey.

[drowned out dance music]

Miss Thing!

I told you, shady as f*ck.

Ugh.

She done mopped those

little Gucci glasses

The second I was on the stage,

she done took her

greasy little paws,

and just snatched them right up.

What?

b*tch, are you hard of hearing?

I told you.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I would never do that.

Girl, don't do that.

Don't...

Don't, do not.

Oh, anyways.

No, honey, I am Pristine

motherfuckin' Christine.

I am i-con-nique.

Listen. Don't do that, girl.

No, I just got to the lake,

and I'm about to get naked.

Buh-bye.

Oh.

[woodpecker pecks]

[birds chirp]

You know you can get

undressed at the trailhead.

This sign's just for show.

Yeah, thanks.

I'm not trying to

rock any boats.

You know, first time here.

Just building my courage

to face everyone, you know?

Mm.

Well, welcome, honey.

Hi.

Yeah. Humble and courageous.

What's your name?

Kristian.

Ah.

Miss Thing you saw earlier,

that was my expensive

girlfriend, Pristine.

But, I'm Henley.

Nice to meet you.

Ah. Where you from?

Where am I from?

All over.

Just coming in from Vermont.

Cool.

Been camping up and down

the east coast all summer.

You're just now

getting Lotus Cove?

Yeah, I know.

Honestly, I've been

meaning to for a while.

You're gonna love it here.

You're gonna be loved here.

'Cause you?

You somethin'.

[Kristian chuckles]

Thanks, handsome.

I would've changed in my cabin,

but the gig was running

a little too long today,

and I really didn't wanna

miss the crowd.

Never thought of myself as

bachelor cabin material but...

It works.

Hm.

[Henley laughs]

You're gonna need a hustle

if you wanna find a tent spot.

Tends to be really busy

this time of year.

Wanna walk to camp?

Ugh, I can never resist a

chance to embellish my legend.

You may accompany me.

Cool.

Well, grab my bag.

Okay.

[light mandolin and flute]

Ooh, baby!

[people chattering]

So this looks like a good

spot right here, right?

Mhm.

Well, look.

Feel free to visit my bachelor

tent once I get set up.

Don't mind if I do.

I'm gonna go see what's

on the buffet today.

Sounds good.

Boop!

Ooh!

[Henley chuckles]

[loon calls across the lake]

[bird screeches]

Hi, honey.

Welcome to Lotus Cove.

Oh, uh...

Howdy, ranger.

Delilah.

Kristian.

Lucky for you, real

estate by the water's edge

is hard to come by.

Well, I'm a 100% a lucky type.

I'm not gonna complain about it.

Oh, hello.

Watch out around these parts,

'cause bears around

here do not play.

Make sure you use the

box for food...

Bears?

There's bears here in the area?

You're precious.

Wait, are you precious?

Sweetie, I got it.

I had a question.

I mean, I've been at this a bit,

so I just wanna know if I

should be putting my toothpae

in the bear box, yeah?

Toothpaste?

Yeah.

I cross my Ts.

Yeah, I have a few tagged

within 50 miles of the camp,

but they usually don't

come around these parts

unless we dump a bunch of

animal carcasses

and garbage out to rot.

Who's dock and canoe?

Oh, they belong to the camp.

Feel free to enjoy.

Oh, and the camp?

You don't have Google?

Yeah, no cell phone.

The Polk family set

up the land as a trust

to their late son.

He was an original

radical fairy type.

Died in the A*DS Holocaust.

That's generous.

Good people, good parents.

I gotta tell you, you're...

Not any kind of

ranger I'm used to.

And you're not just

any kind of bird, honey.

Look at you, you got

them all cluckin'.

Am I blushing?

You wear it.

And I wear this so that

the powers that be

don't try to fit it

around some square.

These curves live.

They live, girl.

All right, well...

I'm gonna go for a

wash in the lake.

I smell terrible.

I don't wanna scare away

any of the birds,

if you know what I mean, so.

Yeah, well, they do

whatever they like.

I'm sure you will too.

Thanks for stopping by

with such a warm welcome.

My pleasure.

Yeah. See ya.

[Kristian exhales]

[loon call]

[people frolicking]

Hey.

I thought we'd have to hunt you.

I'm Matthew, and this is James.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Grab a cup.

Oh, yeah, I'll take water if

you have, if you don't mind.

I got my own cup.

Oh, well, no judgment of course.

Judgment of what?

Nevermind.

So, you a masseuse?

Masseur, kind of.

I do holistic body work.

Thank you.

Rub the joy in and out of you.

Yeah, Daddy knows how to

touch his boy.

Well, you're his only boy.

We share.

Good to know.

So, what brings you to

our little nest?

I was about to head

out for some supplies

before tucking in for

loons tonight.

Oh.

A birder.

Wandering the woods alone.

Only ever running into other

men wandering the woods alone.

Ah, pretty much.

Well, let me give you the skinny

on all the lonely

souls around here.

Those are the Kyles.

They are a great time.

They're gorgeous and

generous lovers.

One is a publicist for a

high-end film distributor,

one is a publicist for

a high-end restaurant,

and one is a publicist

for Tiffany's.

[James] And they're

completely interchangeable

in every way,

which makes for a satisfying,

but a exhausting experience.

[Matthew laughs]

All right, smarty pants.

How about that cutie

right there?

[James] Oh, I think he

said his name was Corban.

It's the first time

I've seen him out here.

Look at him, he's some

kind of wellness coach.

Yeah, hot vortex bottom.

What?

It's all about him and his hole,

or there's gonna be a

price to pay.

What about her?

Oh...

Everyone gets a go at Henley.

She is delightful, but flighty.

She's a local, she comes

in for the day,

and then heads out to

her cabin by Nebi Pond.

Oh, Sam and Patrick.

Not sure what you're into,

but they'd be into you.

They're a ton of fun.

Now, Patrick is a

anthropologist.

He studies Mayan

civilizations in Belize.

His dig site got shut down

because of the pandemic,

so here he is.

Mm.

Sampling the primordial

soup of New Hampshire.

And Sam is a psychologist.

They study dangerous

neurodivergence or something.

[birds chirping]

[drumming heartbeat]

Put em' around my neck.

[both grunting]

[echo]

[raven caws]

[Corban gasps]

I like this spot.

We need something to f*ck on.

[pensive mandolin]

[car honks]

Oh, are you open?

You're in here, aren't you?

I'm sorry, am I

interrupting you?

No.

Hmm.

What exactly are you here for?

Well, I'm an admirer

of beautiful things,

and I love craft.

You love it?

Mhm.

You make anything?

Oh, no. I'm not...

I'm not a maker.

Mm.

Is some of this your work?

No, I'm not a maker either.

I sell.

Awasos can be bought.

She was my great-great

grandfather's

when he was k*lling Englishmen,

who looked like you.

For the French King.

When this was a different

country, a different people.

Yeah, that... uh...

That might be too much for

me at the Cove.

You know, I'm traveling a

long ways, so.

Well, how about this

beautiful rainbow quilt?

Also a good disguise for you,

at the Cove.

Can I?

Mm.

A disguise?

Cover.

Ah, you did it to me.

I'll take both.

I'll take both.

All right, just do me a favor.

Hold these for me for a minute?

I gotta run to the

market quickly.

I'll wrap 'em up.

All right. Thank you.

Take your time.

[mandolin pluck]

Oh. What up, Dee?

Oh, hey.

Nice seeing you here.

Yeah, how you doing?

I'm doing great.

Did you go see Shelley?

She's got great stuff.

Interesting store.

She's a bit eccentric.

Honey, she is one of a kind.

She's got those eyes that

look through you

like you're paper thin,

you know?

I think she kind of liked me.

Of course she did.

Well, I hope to see you tonight.

Campfire's gonna be

a lot of fun.

Labor Day is on Monday,

so last summer licks.

All right.

- Okay?

- Later, gator.

After a while, crocodile.

Bye, drive safe.

[distorted mandolin strums

over sustained flute]

[chill house music from

a bluetooth speaker]

Thanks for cooking, Kristian.

You really know how

to work a pit.

Mhm.

Just a little bit of Texas

goes a long way on an open fire.

Mm.

I didn't know you could

cook like this.

You two know each other?

We just met.

Oh.

Where's Kyle 3?

You mean Goldilocks?

She probably found herself

some business out in the tre.

Mhm.

Well, I think Delilah's on her

way back with some goodies.

Kyle convinced me to try

shrooms for the first time.

Have you ever tripped, Kristian?

Can't say that I have.

You're not serious.

Serious about what?

Hi.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Hey.

Oh, so this is the one

I was telling you about.

So, not only is he drop

dead gorgeous,

but he's also a virgin.

A virgin?

Really? All right, hold on,

hold on.

I've just never done

mushrooms before, all right?

Have you had a chance to

listen to the loons out here

yet?

No, but I'm looking

forward to it.

Oh my god, they scream

bloody m*rder.

But sometimes they sound

like forever lovers

singing to each other.

They don't mate for

life, they keep it open.

That's true.

And when you're not

watching birds?

Um...

I love to f*ck.

Oh, is that so?

Oh, well, we all like

a good f*ck.

Where'd you study the craft?

All over, I guess.

I was born and raised in Dallas.

My parents made some money

during the oil boom and just.

Retreated from the world.

Their passing left me with

very little to worry about.

Wow, must be nice.

Handsome, rich, unencumbered.

But not where it counts.

Well, it is nice.

And you, Corban?

Oh, I'm just a regular

Masshole from Lowell.

Just trying to get my f*ck

on as much as possible,

until this whole world

goes up in flames.

Well, can't do anything

about the world

going up in flames.

Hey, girl, hey.

But I do have some therapeutics.

Yes!

To help out with this

little therapy session

you guys are having out here?

Yes!

Okay, so, these are

one gram each.

Thank you.

It's a pretty reasonable

perceptual dose,

and we are all pretty

experienced here, right?

Except for Corban and Kristian,

but we'll keep an eye on them.

Well, they shouldn't feel

any pressure to partake.

Therapeutics are not mandatory.

Wait, I'm just curious.

Is everyone here

tripping on mushroom?

No, baby. We do

whatever we want.

Just do what makes you

feel comfortable.

Oh, hey!

Oh, hey!

Hope you saved some for us.

- Of course.

- We did.

Yes! f*ck yeah.

I've been saving up

dopamine all week for tonight.

I deserve this.

Hey!

Wait.

Will I still be horny on these?

I mean, who knows?

You might, like,

focus on the trees

and how connected everything is,

or you might wanna f*ck in

the embrace of a moss god.

Will this change me?

[Sam] Oh, it helps if you know

what needs to be changed,

if anything.

But also, remember...

You could experience some

very uncomfortable truths.

Jesus Christ.

Don't think I've ever

felt a comfortable truth.

All right, bottoms up, b*tches.

There's no turning back now.

Cheers!

q*eers.

I need

The trees are connecting.

They're vibrating together.

They're talking.

How do you know they're talking?

I can see the vibrations...

But, we're on mushrooms, man.

Well, I can feel it.

- Feel it where?

- Here.

Yes.

Mhm.

And here.

I know.

I believe you, I believe you.

My hands are freezing.

Why'd you guys turn

the music off?

It's so quiet now.

Listen.

Hey.

Hey.

To what?

Nothing.

To nothing.

Mhm.

So...

So.

Just bird watching?

I mean, I love them too,

but I go home from my

communes with nature.

Well, you know, I like

to travel and...

Find q*eer folk in the wild.

Like me.

[owl hoots]

Who am I?

Let's see, who are you.

Can I take a stab at it?

You're an educated trans man,

studying anthropological

endeavors in Belize

in a long term

partnership with Sam,

and you also enjoy the

company of other q*eer people.

- Yeah.

- Bingo, right?

You got the skinny, yeah?

What about you?

I don't know if q*eer

quite gets it.

Um...

I'm whatever I need to be.

What does that mean?

Need for what?

For people to trust me.

Wow.

It seems like a lot of work.

Yeah, it's a lot.

Why don't people trust you?

I'm never in the same

place very long, you know?

I might not ever see anyone

here again after this weekend.

You'll never come back?

I might not.

You know, you might not.

Tomorrow's not a sure thing.

You're here with me now.

Yes.

With us.

You can feel it.

Can I kiss you?

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey.

You are beautiful.

If I were you, I would just

enjoy the journey tonight,

and try not to fall too deeply

into anyone's whirlpool.

Yeah? These are deep waters.

And the p*nis envies

are kicking.

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna go for a walk.

Okay.

Is that all right?

Yeah. Take your

blanket with you.

Okay.

Stay warm tonight.

Mhm.

You know, we'll be

here if you need company.

Thanks, Patrick.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye.

Okay.

[loon calls]

[loon calls]

[loon calls]

[loon calls]

[loon call]

[indistinct chatter]

[loon calls]

[loon calls]

Are you feeling all right,

Kristian?

I am.

Oh, good.

I am.

You know, guys, it's crazy.

I felt everything.

I felt everything so much.

I didn't know what to expect.

[Sam] Well, if you'd

like to talk about it,

please let me know.

It's sort of what I do.

[Matthew laughs]

I think I loved it.

- Good.

- I really did.

Good.

Well...

I think I'm gonna hit the sack

so I can get out on the

lake early tomorrow.

Try and swim the whole

thing and get up Snakehair.

Oh, how ambitious of you.

So we'll see you in the morning,

okay?

Have a good night, guys.

- Good night.

- Good night.

- Bye-bye.

- Bye.

I'm gonna get some of that.

[zipper screeches]

Oh, hey honey.

[Henley chuckles]

I was hoping I could take

you up on that invitation.

I was about to leave, but

glad you came.

Your tent smells so good.

You drive at this hour?

Baby, that's just my

parking spot.

Oh.

My cabin's a short ways away

from the Maple Sugar Shack.

For a second I thought

you weren't gonna make it,

but here you are.

Here I am.

Corban has had a

couple nice things

to say about you.

Oh, did he?

Yeah, he said you were rough.

- Rough?

- Like really rough.

- Mm.

- Like, the business.

Said you'd lay it down,

f*ck me, and choke me out.

And...

I kinda want it.

Mm, I need it.

You need it, huh?

Mhm.

Does Corban know you were

planning on coming here?

No, is that a problem?

Well, you're in my tent.

You tell anyone you

were coming here?

- Ah.

- Did you?

No one f*ck' knows.

No one f*ck' knows.

Just me and you.

I'm gonna f*ck' destroy you.

[zipper screeches]

[heartbeat thrumming]

[Henley grunts]

[Henley gags]

[Henley grunts]

Do you want me to destroy you?

Hm?

You make a sound, and I'll

break your f*ck' neck.

Nod your head.

Is this what you want?

- Mhm.

- Hm?

- Mhm.

- Are you sure?

- Mhm.

- Yeah?

[Kristian chuckles]

[thud]

How's my pretty little bird?

You get a workout with

those boys last night?

Not the most accurate tops.

I didn't catch you

after the fire.

You got what you want?

Want some coffee?

In a bit.

Beautiful place.

Yeah.

Yeah, I agree.

Interesting community.

[Corban chuckles]

Not what I would

expect in New Hampshire.

Expectations are generally

not good for your health, ye?

You see, I try to avoid them.

Not trying to poke the bear.

Well, I need to take a

wash in the lake,

but, I'll be back for a coffee

if you're still offering.

I think you should

help yourself.

I'm gonna go practice some

movement after breakfast,

but, I'll leave the

coffee gear out.

[cheerful soft mandolin notes]

[loon calls]

[loon calls]

Beautiful morning.

You and Patrick fit

perfectly here.

Aw, thank you.

Its kind of our bottom

line for each other.

Mm.

The coffee is quite good.

Mm.

It needs to be.

Basically my bottom line

for f*cking with any day.

Oh, well, your bottom

line is quite compelling.

How you feeling?

[loon calls]

Unentangled.

Oh, I hear that.

Yet here I am and here you are,

carefree, watching the birds.

Yeah, they're pretty rad.

Thunder lizards became loons.

Wonder how it's gonna

go for humans.

And you hear them now?

Yeah.

Actually, I like your

mantis here.

Thanks.

Too bad though, really lonely.

I mean, f*cking and then

eating your partner's head.

They only ever really

do that in captivity.

Is that so? I thought

that was their thing.

That's my thing.

[Sam and Kristian laugh]

Oh...

Dangerous.

[Patrick] One of the campers

thought they saw bear in camp.

Hey.

Hi.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Like a bear bear?

After you...

Okay, that's great.

Yeah, one of the

Kyles was taking a piss,

and thought he saw a

big furry shape

heading off into the woods.

Oh, well, that means

the bear box is working,

so Delilah will be delighted.

- Yes.

- Okay.

Hungover.

Now she has to go track a

hallucination.

Wait.

I mean, it's funny, but

you don't think it's...

You don't think it's real,

right?

Right?

- No.

- Okay.

You got me...

Well, wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait.

Then what? If it's not real?

I think it was a "them".

Oh...

No, and I literally

think that Kyle

number one, two, and three

are literally just

waiting for the baron.

What's the baron?

Oh, well, they're

sexual Munchausens,

and they see their reality

to conform to their

sexual appetites.

Well, don't we all?

- Um...

- Do we?

I do.

Okay, depends on your appetites.

That's impressive, you're hard.

Healthy appetite.

[Sam chuckles]

Are you feeling it right now,

babe?

I'm just not at the moment,

but I could go for a hike.

Mm, I'm just sayin' hi.

Oh, god.

So lame, boo!

Oh, come on!

There are plenty of

pretty boys for you

to wrap your hands

around out here.

Maybe later.

Oh.

Got a big swim ahead of me.

Oh, cool.

Well, hit us up in a bit.

Hey, what are you two into?

Um, lots.

Mostly connection.

Hm.

You know, I bottom too.

Oh, well, my d*ck is as

big as you want it to be.

Oof.

That's a pitch.

That is actually a blessing.

All right, you two love

birds, get outta here.

I'll see you later.

Okay, bye.

See you later.

[playful mandolin chords]

[loons calling]

[Delilah] There's no spoor here.

What?

No tracks or any

markers from a bear.

The box is full of food.

So, no bear.

There's no way a bear

wouldn't try to get in this box.

Okay.

So, what was it?

Probably some weirdo running

around looking real big,

and a couple of really

high campers.

Wanna walk back to camp with me?

Yeah, sure.

Weren't you gonna get something?

Oh, you're right.

Thanks for reminding me.

I'll tell you what,

coffee's movin' today.

If last night was

any indication.

Don't worry, honey.

You're safe.

Sometimes a bear is a bear,

and sometimes it's just a bea.

And a bear is a bear, right?

A bear is a bear.

Sounds like you're

pretty confident.

I am.

Say, have you seen Henley?

What's that?

Yeah.

Um, Henley...

You know, that cute local.

He's been googly eyed over

you since you got here.

He was supposed to

purchase herbal supplements

from me this morning.

Yeah, hold up.

Henley, yeah, look.

You see, I'm

terrible with names,

but yeah, I remember him,

great kisser.

Great kisser?

Oh, so you did connect.

Let's just say he left

pretty early last night.

Okay, well, let me know

if you see him,

because I got sh*t to do.

All right, well, I

think I'm gonna try

to swim the lake and back.

Ooh, fun.

Watch out for motors

and snappers.

Yeah, I swim with a buoy,

but what the hell can you

do about the snappers?

Pray, if you believe

in that sort of thing.

Did you know that the old ones

can get as large as a

bear's torso?

Yeah, 'cause that's it.

Maybe it was a turtle that

came through camp last night.

Not a bear, it's a turtle.

A turtle?

Oh, you're funny like that?

Mhm.

At least you're pretty.

[light mandolin chords]

[loon calls]

I mean, he said he'd

be around the corner

at the diving rock, if he

could make it.

I hope he can make it.

Corban said he's a monster.

He better be.

We are a lot to handle

even without Ky-Ky.

Hey, boys.

Hey, handsome.

Can I come aboard?

Front, middle, or steer?

I'll take the back.

Kyle 3 not into it?

Oh, I was hoping to bag

all three of you together.

Happens to the best.

We come here all the time.

He'll be back.

I have a feeling you

will be too.

What gives you that feeling?

Well, it could be the fact

you're getting laid

left and right.

Corban said you were the

roughest,

hottest f*ck he ever met.

Ugh, yeah.

Hoping to meet that

daddy out on the island.

Like, you can do whatever

you f*cking want to us.

[Kyle moans]

I wanna choke you out

while you're cumming with

me inside you.

I want to see your

lights go out.

Both of you.

Daddy.

Anything you want, Daddy.

Now f*ck' row.

You want to be good boys?

Yes.

Yes, Daddy.

Then row.

[light mandolin chords]

I'm gonna take a piss

and stretch.

Set up camp, and you can snuggle

with daddy when I get back.

Daddy's gonna give you

a big reward.

Back in a sec.

[Kyles giggling]

[pee streams]

[distorted light mandolin]

[popper heartbeat thrumming]

I want you inside me

while I f*cking m*rder him.

Give me the lube.

That's f*cking hot.

f*ck me.

I'm not an experienced top,

I might f*cking come too fast.

Don't f*cking c*m.

[tense flute joins heartbeat]

This is f*cking hot.

Don't f*cking c*m.

I'm cumming.

I'm getting close.

Good boy, c*m for Daddy.

You got me rock hard.

- I'm cumming.

- Wait.

c*m for me.

I'm gonna f*cking c*m, Daddy.

[Kyle moans]

[Kyle gurgles]

[Kyle grunts]

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

I'm gonna c*m, Daddy.

I'm gonna f*cking c*m.

I want you to c*m with

me sh**ting inside you.

[Kyle grunts]

No...

[popper heartbeat crescendos]

[Kyle gurgles]

[water splashes]

Why is this fun?

[David laughs]

Because you don't have to

worry about the world out there,

or anything at all, Ben.

You just get to relax.

But that isn't fun.

Can we go hiking or something?

You remember my hip

surgery last year?

This is what I come

out here for.

I'm loving not having

wifi or cell service.

Clients can't reach me,

there's nothing to worry about.

I don't have anything

to worry about.

You and mom are rich.

Don't be gross.

I'm just saying, I am

statistically less likely

to have things to worry

about than the povs.

Who taught you how to

speak like that, Ben?

What the f*ck?

I'm joking!

It's a joke. I'm kidding.

[water splashes]

Howdy, neighbor.

Any bites this morning?

Wow, it's the bird guy.

Yeah.

Kristian, right?

Good memory. David and Ben,

yeah?

Hey, feel free to help yourself

to a nice, cold brew-ski.

I'd love to join for a minute,

but I'm not much of a drinker,

really.

[David] Okay.

Yeah.

It's a little early in my day.

I was planning on heading

out to Bald Island,

catching the sun before it sets,

and heading up Snakehair

after this too, so.

Wow, that is a crazy workout.

Well, look, feel free to

take a breather.

You like lemonade?

I do, yeah. It's great.

Ben, can you go grab

Kristian a lemonade, please?

Sure.

Super. Thanks, man.

He's a good kid.

He is relieved.

Kids these days...

Do not appreciate things

the way we used to.

Isn't it the same for you?

How it was for me.

Yeah.

My dad wanted me to be

a great doctor.

I became a psychologist,

a good one.

Yeah, we used to come up fishing

here with him all the time.

I would've rather been

reading comic books

and sh**ting sh*t with my bow.

Worked out for me.

'Til some client from

the big city shows up

and ruins your whole life.

Shut the f*ck up. We

never talk about Bob.

Someone's got to.

[Kristian and David laughing]

What about your dad?

Oh, my dad.

You wanna hear this, huh?

All right, well...

He was in oil.

Tried to teach me how

to take over the world,

wasn't really my bag.

You see, I'm into more

meaningful connections

that last forever.

Hey, there was a bear

in our camp last night.

[Ben] A bear?

[David] Really?

Uh huh.

Oh, I didn't think they really

came up at camps anymore.

Too many people. Yeah.

Yeah, well, someone saw it.

I thought the same

until last night,

but just keep those eyes open.

Oh. Thanks, buddy.

Hey, Ben, do me a favor.

I suck at this, take it.

Okay.

[David laughs]

I know, I ruined your day.

[David laughs]

If you're up for some

morning fishing,

I'd love the company.

I'm going out on the

boat at 5:00 AM tomorrow.

Yeah, count me in.

I'll be there.

Great.

Great.

Maybe you can teach

me how to fish.

[David and Kristian chuckling]

[Kristian breathes heavily]

[Kristian exhales]

We want a quick selfie,

not like a quick 50 selfies.

[Kitty and Fred chattering]

I hope he doesn't stay.

He won't.

I mean, he's not just gonna

sit there all day, is he?

Who the f*ck does he think he is

just sitting there with

his shirt off?

Ignore him.

He looks like one of those

yoga fairies from Lotus Cove.

I can't stand all these

f*ggots coming through here.

This used to be God's country.

Now our kids can't even go

to the western shores

of the lake.

Someone should do

something about them.

I'm on it, hun.

[Kitty] He's some of yogi.

[Fred] He looks like he's

sleeping, hun.

Don't bother the man.

[Kitty] He's not

sleeping, he's meditating.

[tense mandolin plucks]

You're unattractive.

Oh my god.

Fred, do something!

[pee trickles]

It's not because she

calls me a f*gg*t.

[Kristian chuckles]

I'm not crazy.

You're just real shitty.

[body crashes through brush]

You should look into yoga, babe.

Look at his body.

All that stretching is not

good for the joints, hun.

Plus, I got my Peloton.

Shut the f*ck up, Fred.

Ah, geez.

I'm sorry guys, I interrupted

your day here on the summit.

You know, see, it's my

first time here, so it's-

Oh, no, no.

We're actually sorry for

interrupting you.

It's not like we bought

the mountain.

Fred and Kitty Astor.

Kristian Brooks.

It's my last night.

You see, I came in

for the loons.

I'm headed over to fish with

my friend David early tomorro,

then either up to...

I don't know, maybe

Maine or Vermont.

David?

Mhm. He's a

psychologist from Boston.

Oh, the Sachs.

Yes, they got a little

spot a few years ago.

How lovely.

Sweet family.

Second best

psychologist on the lake.

You're keeping good company.

We kind of thought you

were part of that crew

that camps out at Lotus Cove.

Oh, no. I'm not in any crew.

And I'm not trying to

look like I am, trust me.

Lots of psychologists

around these parts, yeah?

Well, it's the best

place to get away

from the noise and the hippies.

[Kitty chuckles]

Sorry about being a

little rude or whatever.

It's been a stressful

time for me.

No, no, honey, honey.

Don't worry about it, you know?

It's okay.

You just try to love yourself.

All right?

Look, people are the worst.

Huh? Am I right guys?

[Kitty laughs]

I mean you can't live

with them...

Ah!

So you're a funny devil.

I don't know.

Demon?

What?

Honey, he's kidding.

Maybe we'll see you

again if you come back.

[Kristian] Yeah.

Maybe you could teach

me some yoga lessons.

Sure.

Kitty, right?

You know, I'd love to

teach you a lesson or two.

Have a good day, guys.

Bye.

What the f*ck was

that all about?

Nice, nice.

[Sam chuckles]

You know, it's rare that

I found public campsites

without wood that's

been brought in.

It's kind of weird.

Oh, well this is pretty

much conservation land.

It's basically a tree farm.

Delilah designates which

trees are for cutting down.

Oh, yeah.

It prevents invasive species

from making their way

into the forest.

Seems inefficient though.

Speaking of invasive

species, who is that?

Ooh, he looks like straight

out of that Drummer Magazine.

What's Drummer?

[ax chops]

It's a leather mag from the 80s.

[Sam and Matthew chuckling]

James has every single

issue at home.

- Of course he does.

- Right.

Never heard of it.

Well, I hope you don't

mind a little competition.

Competition?

Oh, such a saint.

He's definitely gonna

pull focus though.

Not interested in focus.

You see, it distracts the hunt.

Oh. Maybe he's hunting you.

One can only hope.

Truth.

What? It's my first time here.

Okay, well, thank you

for the help,

and he'll be here

when we're done.

I need to go freshen up.

You know...

[ax chops]

f*ck.

Get these pants off.

Let me know if you

need some help.

[Kristian] You got it.

Okay.

I'm still going, by the way.

It's fine.

Need a hand?

You're f*ck' hot.

That's funny.

They're all saying the

same about you.

I've won Mr. Leather

Woodchuck four years in a row.

Mm.

f*cking hot guys is what I do.

Well, they called me

"daddy" until you showed up.

Mr. Leather Woodchuck.

That's impressive.

I am Daddy.

See you around, sexy.

See you around.

Woof.

Oh, hey.

Look who showed up.

Looks like Daddy's

definitely into twunks.

But Daddy's into anyone

who calls him Daddy.

You know that.

- Oh, really?

- Yeah.

So...

All the wood has been chopped.

- Okay.

James is playing

backgammon with Patrick.

All right.

Camp is sparse.

Everybody's off doing something.

I got a crazy idea.

Oh, what?

Wanna find a nook

and get frisky?

Yeah, Daddy! Come on.

I'm gonna suck your d*ck.

That's all?

Mhm.

Whatever you need.

That was maybe more impressive.

Well, thank you.

Come on, this way.

Oh, you're a pro now?

- Yeah.

- You know where you're going?

[Matthew and Kristian chuckling]

You know where we're going?

- No.

- No?

I just kinda, you

know, want you to myself.

Come on.

[sustained flute over mandolin]

Ever been to Henley's cabin?

Left a furry blanket out

there to roll around on.

Well, I just think I'm

gonna be on my knees.

Sounds like a plan. Come on.

Hope you know these people.

Yes!

Yes! Yeah!

Yeah.

[grunting]

Good f*ck' boy.

I'm gonna paint your guts.

[Kristian grunts]

Oh, you're cumming.

[Kristian] Oh, f*ck.

[Corban grunts]

Holy f*ck, boys.

Thanks for the soundtrack.

That was hot.

You've never been choked

like that before?

Well...

Nice work, boys.

Well, we did it.

You came?

Yeah.

Well, next time...

I want you to c*m while

I'm sitting on you.

Oh yeah?

And while you're sitting on me?

We should head back to camp.

Get a swim in while

the sun's high?

[Kristian exhales]

Poor baby.

Ha!

Wow.

I know.

Ah.

I'm gonna have to work a little

bit harder to get that one.

He'll be back.

Why, is your p*ssy that good?

Ask Kristian.

Oh, right.

Yeah, I'll be back for that one.

Always are.

What? They always are what?

I mean, look at him.

And look at him.

It's like two

super-massive black holes.

For sure.

But you say that like

this has happened before.

It just seems it's

bound to happen.

There's a lot of

water between us.

It must be hard being the

center of such nonsense.

It's actually really hot.

Yeah, it's really f*ck' hot.

I don't mind it.

You see, it's the same

with everyone.

You all have rules

of engagement.

Oh, and you don't?

Beautiful, special, bless.

I can't complain.

I go with the flow, and

take what comes my way.

Ooh, as long as it's

freely given.

Oh, trust me.

It is.

Hey, where are all the boys?

They never miss a last

night's fire.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- Hey.

Ready? Wanna go?

Yeah, let's go.

I'll see you all later.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Bye!

Hey, Mr. Masseur.

[Kristian chuckles]

My lower left hip tightened up

when I was hiking up Snakehair.

Won't you come take

a look at it?

I sensed you were a

little tense earlier.

What are you doing after this?

He means after the weekend.

We have a big

brownstone in Manhattan,

and there's guest

rooms for guests

that resemble you in every way.

You can come and go

as you please.

I have a studio there,

and I'd love to have

you as a subject.

Ugh, until we all tire

of each other.

[Matthew] No, we'll

just see how it goes.

Mm.

You're inviting him to

come and stay over?

We're q*eer and we're grown.

We can do whatever we want.

Didn't you say you

were going to Vermont?

To some river?

I did.

It's been a while since I hung

in any one place for a bit.

I'm not sure I could step

foot in a city

for more than a day or two.

[James] We have parks

and trees in New York.

Do you want to take a

walk in the woods?

Didn't realize you had

an appointment.

Neither did I.

I guess I'll see you guys later?

Bye.

Bye.

Just a little domesticity

never hurt nobody.

That was unwise.

They're all idiots.

You told me yourself, people

only see what they wanna see.

They think I'm a lusty sl*t.

Because, you are.

An utterly amoral one, huh?

Yeah.

[Kristian chuckling]

[poppers heartbeat thrums]

I want what's mine.

You have nothing, Corban.

I've k*lled you five times now?

And you keep coming

back wanting more.

But that makes me very lucky,

I would say.

It's very convenient.

Yeah?

You're never gonna find

anyone like me.

Oh, is that true?

I help you get what you want.

I give you what you want.

What I want?

You see, I wanted you to

act like you didn't know me,

and you decided not to do that.

They don't f*cking know.

[popper heartbeat grows

You're what gets

creatures like me caught.

But we're special.

Special gets noticed.

Everyone notices you,

everywhere.

I'm still here.

I'm still here.

[popper heartbeat gets heavy]

I know everything.

Do you?

Mhm.

You're not f*cking me.

I'm not cumming.

I don't know why any of

that could ever matter.

I matter.

[Popper Heartbeat crescendos

with distorted flute]

[Dee] Hey!

Oh, hey, Dee.

What's going on?

Nothin' much.

Is this your spot?

You could say that.

Yeah, I was waiting for Corban.

He had to go back to

tent to his tent.

to get some tape cleaner.

Tape cleaner?

Yeah.

Oh. I know what that's for.

Did you get that bear

at the shop?

I did.

You know, she said it suits me,

so.

Wait.

Are you the one running

around looking like a bear?

Shh.

Of course I am.

Quiet.

You better be kidding.

No, I am. I'm f*ck' with you.

[Kristian and Dee chuckling]

No, no, this is for f*cking.

I was just messing with you.

Hey, did you find Henley?

Actually, no.

I went by his place, I

didn't see his car.

But he's usually here or there.

Yeah.

Haven't seen him.

[leaves rustling]

What the f*ck is that?

sh*t.

Probably a chipmunk.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That sounded big.

Could be a mink.

What's a mink?

They're like

otter-ish creatures.

They're everywhere around here.

Um...

Was Henley saying anything

weird, or did he act weird?

Not at all.

Honestly, he was in my

tent when I got back,

which was a little weird.

Geez, Henley.

Yeah, that's all right.

No, listen, it's fine though.

I mean, we kinda had sex.

We were feeling our shrooms

and he left right after,

and I went back to sleep.

[leaves rustling]

Okay, okay.

That was two times.

- Oh, sh*t.

Yeah.

- That did sound big.

- Yeah.

[ominous base tone]

[chipmunk screeches]

f*ck!

Oh sh*t!

Scared the sh*t out of me.

[Delilah laughs]

Ugh! f*ck' chipmunks.

Oh, well, they're everywhere.

I tell you, when I was a kid,

I used to sh**t 'em with

my pellet g*n.

Raggedy b*tches.

Anyway...

[light hearted mandolin]

I think I'm gonna head

back to camp.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Another party tonight?

No, I don't think so.

You know, the Kyles

didn't get back,

so I think I'm gonna

go out to Bald Island.

You want company?

No, I'm good.

[distorted mandolin chords]

[Kristian] Hey, guys.

Hi-ya.

[Kristian] Hey.

Where have you been all day?

Feels like everyone

has cleared out.

Swam out to Snakehair,

did some yoga on the mountain.

Chopped a little wood,

got some sun.

Waiting in the woods

for Corban to show up.

He got pulled into that

functionally mobile orgy,

rolling around in that Gareth,

you know?

Yeah, hard not to get

pulled into it.

Okay. You know what?

He is an attractive man,

but he's fixated on it.

And I actually think

it's kind of gross.

You don't find it the

least bit sexy?

In like, the most basic

possible way?

It's like his fetish

is the binary.

Wearing a cloak of

toxic masculinity

and playing into that

does not excite me.

But guys like you do.

Because I'm not macho.

No, because your masculinity

doesn't suffocate every

f*cking thing around it.

You walk in your own space.

And so does Kristian.

Oh, hey.

Oh, hey, did Delilah

touch base with you?

She was looking for you earlier.

Yeah, yeah.

No Henley or the Kyles, huh?

- Mm-mm.

- [Sam] No.

I think she's taking the

canoe out to Bald Island.

By herself?

That'll take like an

hour out and back,

even with the lake so calm.

I know. I offered to go with.

Look at that.

James and Matthew

are packing up.

You know, it's the last

fire of the official season.

God, it's gonna be so

sad to see it go.

You know, it's been a

really rough year.

I just...

I just wanna live up here

and disappear.

[bird caws]

You guys are gonna come back

for the fire tonight, right?

It's an English exit

for us this year.

Wait, what?

Seriously?

And I have a client

in the morning.

Well, I don't want to go.

I never want to go.

There you go.

Yeah.

Hey...

You should come and visit.

Stay with us.

Ah, that sounds fun.

But how do I find you?

Take my number.

Ah, no cell.

I know.

Don't.

- Seriously?

- Don't even start.

- Seriously?

- I know, I know.

- No cell phone?

How do you connect with people?

I don't really.

This is my body work studio.

It's the ground floor of

our brownstone.

Hey, come see us.

Take a little trip to New

York and see what happens.

You guys barely know me though.

No, but you're one of us.

You're open.

- Go ahead.

Sex positive.

Uh huh, uh huh.

Gorgeous.

You're welcome anytime.

That's really sweet.

You know, I might just

show up on your doorstep

one of these days, so,

watch out.

Anytime.

Tell everybody we said bye.

- I will.

- Okay?

They'll be asking about you, so.

Well, we'll be back.

- All right.

- Later.

I'll see you sooner

rather than later.

Oh, you will.

Trust me on that.

[Matthew] Stay dry.

Yeah.

Takin' a shower out here.

[engine revs]

[tense music]

Hey, hey.

You there?

Hey, hey!

Come in.

I thought we might

miss each other.

Looks like we're gonna

pack and go tonight.

Aw.

Don't blink.

[heartbeat over tense music]

[distorted mandolin and

distorted flute]

Is anyone there?

[sustained distorted flute]

Chipmunks, f*ck.

[thunder rumbles]

[distorted flute continues]

Hey, Dee!

f*ck!

Kristian, you scared me.

You all right?

I was just about to

head back to camp.

No, I am not all right.

Everything is not all right.

What do you mean?

What's up?

I found them on Bald Island.

What happened?

I don't know what I'm gonna

do, I could lose everything.

Jesus.

Look, I don't know what's

been going on, Delilah.

I mean, I can't help

unless you tell me, right?

Help?

Yeah.

What happened?

The Kyles are dead!

And I don't know what

I'm gonna do.

Yeah.

You know, maybe...

I got an idea, maybe

you should call it in.

You know?

- Call it in?

I think the community

would protect you.

- Protect me?

- Yeah, protect you.

Protect me? From a

f*cking k*ller?

There's still a k*ller here.

Yeah.

- He k*lled the Kyles.

- Yeah, yeah.

Delilah, just, it's

gonna be okay.

Really? It's gonna be okay?

Yeah. Please, just please.

Well, thanks for saying that.

Yeah, just look at me. Ready?

I'm here for you.

We're gonna breathe together,

okay?

Kristian, please.

Put your hands up.

All right, all right.

Yo, take it easy.

Why are you pointing

the g*n at me?

Don't get any closer.

All right, all right.

Look, I haven't seen the

Kyles all day.

I've been with other

people the whole time.

Dee, it's me.

Don't f*cking move!

Kristian, please keep

your hands up.

Hey, listen to me!

I just want to help you.

Let me ask you a question.

Why would I still be here

if I had anything to do

with the Kyles, huh?

What about Corban? He's weird.

The g*n's not loaded, huh?

[g*n clicks]

[distorted flute continues

[Kristian grunts]

[thunder cracks and rumbles]

[thud]

[thud]

Smells like bear carrion.

[exhalation]

[light mandolin notes]

What's up?

Hi. [chuckling]

[Kristian] You're

really into that.

Yeah.

Where is everyone?

Oh, god, I have no idea,

but we did see Delilah

like walking through camp

and not talking to anyone.

It feels like the

party's kind of over.

It's been hard to keep

tabs on everybody.

Yeah.

I get it.

It's been really great

meeting everyone.

And I'm not looking

forward to heading out

on the cold, lonesome road.

Oh my god, that's so bleak.

Bleak, really?

You're reading a book about

dangerous neuropathology.

Hold on a second.

Okay.

That's bleak right there.

Hey!

Stay in your chair.

You're being mean to me!

Sorry, sorry.

Just, I like knowing that,

you know,

darkness is the exception.

It's comforting, it's affirming.

No, I get it, I get it.

Do you mind if I say goodbye,

again?

- Oh, again?

- Pretty please?

Again.

[Sam and Kristian giggling]

Um...

Okay.

Cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, let's go.

You know, I've never been

out here for a Labor Day

that is this quiet.

- Oh.

- Strange.

Expectations are such a doozy.

Hey, Pat?

Patrick.

Oh.

Oh!

There he is.

You guys mind if I join

you for a proper goodbye?

Um...

[light mandolin]

[Kristian] Live free and die.

That's live free "or" die.

What?

You said "Live free and die".

The state motto is "or" die.

Ah.

Well, you've only ever

got two choices, David.

Live free or not, but you

die either way.

That's bleak.

That's the truth.

[David laughs]

Don't you have anybody?

Nothin' to live for?

No, not really.

Just me, myself, and I.

What, are you gonna charge

me for this session?

[David laughs]

Please.

I know you said that

you don't really drink,

No, no, no.

Booze just isn't my thing, man.

I hear you.

It's just such a great

social lubricant.

You need lubricant with me,

David.

[David and Kristian laughing]

Huh?

[David laughs]

Oh, sh*t.

What's up?

See those bubbles over there?

Yeah.

That's a big snapping turtle.

Take a man's hand clean off.

You got kids?

Uh...

Kids, kids?

That would be a no.

No, I love other

people's kids though.

Yeah, I hear that.

Yeah.

Takes everything you

got just to get through.

Well, your wife seems like

a really good partner.

Yeah, she's um...

She's the best

One of these days we gotta

take one of these vacations

without the kid.

Yeah, you look like you

could use one.

You're telling me.

Not a private moment.

"Dad, Dad, Dad!"

I don't know how you do it,

my god.

Yeah.

These two hands are my regular

date night, that's how.

Hey, you know something?

There's no one around

here, it's just me and you.

Yep, no one but us.

Unzip your pants, David.

What?

You heard me.

[Dave chuckling]

You see, I'm gonna

suck your d*ck.

And you're gonna c*m

in my mouth.

I'm married.

I have a son.

I'm acquainted.

I've seen the way you

look at me, at my a*s.

Jesus Christ, David.

You can have it.

What if they find out?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Look.

Hey, trust yourself.

This is just between you and me.

And the only person

that would tell is you.

Am I right?

Look at me.

Trust yourself.

Hey.

Do you mind if I borrow

your boat for like an hour?

I left some stuff all

the way over at the Cove,

and it's just twice as

fast as driving.

Yeah.

Thanks.

[boat hums]

[loon calls]

[chill mandolin chords]

[door squeaks]

[toilet flushes]

[sink runs]

[heartbeat throbs]

I'm driving my van up the coast.

I got another 30 on this stop.

You got any room?

This piggy's gonna blow

your house down.

[popper heartbeat throbbing]

It's unlocked.

Let yourself in, I'll

follow in 5?

[paper towel dispenser whines]

[popper heartbeat crescendos]

[thwack]

I haven't seen one as pretty

as you in a long time.

[heartbeat throbs]

You're gonna call me Spider-Pig,

boy.

Don't be upset.

Don't take it personal.

This is what I do.

[Teddy Bears Picnic orchestral]

[heartbeat thump]