01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

[narrator]

French novelist Maurice Bedel once said,

"Love is the shortest path from

one heart to another."

"A straight line."

FACULTY ROOM

Excuse me.

Sensei, what did you need to see me about?

Seriously

You've gotta cut the crap.

[narrator] Murai,

a 17-year-old high school student.

Has excellent grades but is a bit weird.

Tanaka, a 24-year-old homeroom teacher.

Anxious to go home and play otome games.

Why couldn't you fill it out properly?

With your grades,

you could get into a good college.

I did fill it out properly.

If you keep screwing around like this,

I'm going to call your parents.

I have never,

not once in my life, screwed around.

[Tanaka] How can you say that

with a straight face?!

CAREER PLAN

FIRST CHOICE: MARRY TANAKA-SENSEI

Let's just say, for the sake of argument,

that you're serious about this.

I can't accept it.

You know why, don't you?

Yes, I know.

The truth is, I'm confused myself.

This is the first problem I've encountered

that I can't figure out with my head.

[Murai] Here's my conclusion.

This emotion is impossible to control.

It is truly a once-in-a-century,

once-in-a-millennium, love.

[Tanaka] I just wanna go home

and fawn over my fave.

-[Murai] Are you listening to me?

-[Tanaka] I wasn't listening at all!

I understand how you feel.

But listen, Murai.

Here's the thing.

I would never go for someone

[narrator] in the 3D world

with long, black hair

in the first place.

[Tanaka] So will you think about

your career plan seriously?

[Murai] Thank you for your advice.

[narrator] The following day.

[all groan, exclaim]

[opening theme song playing]

[Tanaka] Murai, do you understand?

This is an important period

for you as a second-year,

as your scores in school

will determine your career path.

Okay, let's start homeroom.

[Murai] Yes, I do understand.

I believe I'm scoring

higher than ever now.

I love you, Sensei. Please marry me.

Murai, come see me

in the faculty room after homeroom.

[Murai] With pleasure.

[Tanaka] I'm a 24-year-old

high school teacher.

People around me are always asking,

"Don't you have a boyfriend?"

-Shut up.

-[Hitotose speaking indistinctly]

[Tanaka] I'd rather spend my time

and money on video games

than waste it dating some guy.

[moaning]

Hitotose!

Let me pray. I am so content.

I don't want a boyfriend.

I don't want to get married.

This official pic is k*lling me.

I have him.

Tanaka-sensei, are you okay?

You've been frozen

for two minutes straight.

[Tanaka groaning softly]

[Murai] You told me to come see you

after homeroom, so here I am.

[Tanaka] Wait.

Wait a minute. Wait What?

He He looks

exactly like him!

Looking at him up close,

he's the spitting image of Hitotose!

Sensei.

The distance between us is unnatural.

[Tanaka] No. Get a hold of yourself.

Calm down!

[grunts] I'm just losing it because of

that godly new pic, that's all!

[ragged breathing] Make sure you

dye your hair back by tomorrow.

Calm down and look again.

He looks nothing like

-He looks exactly like him!

-Why?

[Murai] So, Sensei. Would you go for

someone with short, blond hair?

[Tanaka] Would I?! It's like my fave

walked out of the game and into real life!

This isn't about what I go for.

Stop messing with me, will you?

I'm not messing with you.

I truly am in love with you.

[Tanaka] I'm dead!

Enough is enough!

I'm telling you this

for your own good, Hitotose!

Who's Hitotose?

[bicycle bell rings]

[Tanaka] Now I'm dead.

[Kiriyama screams]

[shouting] What the hell

is up with your hair?

KIRIYAMA (16)

LOUDMOUTH

I thought you were

going for TenTen's look!

I was rooting for you, you know?

HIRAI (16)

SLEAZEBALL

It suits you somehow.

TenTen wasn't going to cut it anymore.

-The hell does that mean?!

-Quiet down.

-Why didn't you tell me? Hey!

-So, what happened, Murai?

-A little thing called love.

-[both] Love?!

Wait a minute!

You know the concept of love?!

[Murai] I've known it for quite a while.

For real?

Love? You're talking about L-O-V-E love?

[Murai] Yes, L-O-V-E love.

So? Who's the girl?

Who is it? Who, who, who, who is it?

Tanaka-sensei.

[Murai] Why do you guys look like that?

[Hirai] Murai, Murai.

There's no way you could be

talking about Tetsuko, is there?

-[Murai] Tetsuko?

-Don't be stupid, Hirai.

I'm sure it was the autocorrect

in Murai's head.

It malfunctioned and Tetsuko popped out,

right, Murai?

[Murai] What's Tetsuko?

[both] Huh?!

[Hirai] The teacher of class 2-1,

Tetsuko the Iron Mask.

She's your homeroom teacher. Come on!

She came in first on the ranking

of Merciless Teachers her very first year!

And by the way, based on appearance alone,

her BWH measurements are 30-22-32.

Not bad at all!

Listen to me, Murai.

As your friend,

there's only one thing I can tell you.

Give up on her.

No.

You

Winning Tetsuko's heart would be harder

than winning Osaka Castle

during the Toyotomi regime.

Do you understand that?

So what?

I'd defeat even Ieyasu Tokugawa

in order to marry Tanaka-sensei.

[Hirai exclaims]

Are you insane, Murai?

We're talking about the Iron Mask here.

Snap out of it!

Such a mask doesn't suit her.

I'll throw it in a blast furnace

along with the two of you.

[Kiriyama] Help!

[both] We support you.

[Tanaka] I am Tanaka,

a high school teacher.

I have 20/200 vision.

I usually wear contacts,

but my student has transformed into

my fave and I'm about to lose it,

so no more contacts!

I'll just wear glasses when I need them.

Okay, finals are coming up next week,

and those with low scores will have to

take extra classes over the summer.

That's all from me.

[students] No way!

Sensei.

[Tanaka] There he is,

the troublemaker boy!

What is it, Murai?

What is the schedule

-for the extra summer classes?

-[Tanaka screams internally]

[Tanaka] The schedule isn't set yet.

Besides, I don't think

it's relevant for you, Murai.

That may be, but since I am

highly concerned about my teacher,

I'll attend the summer classes while

staying on top of the college prep class.

That's admirable, Murai.

[inwardly] Too close,

too close, too close

-Thank you.

-[Tanaka exclaims]

[narrator] A haiku from Tanaka.

[Tanaka] Seriously no

Seriously no, for real

Seriously no

[Murai] Sensei.

You've turned into the Buddha, Sensei!

[Tanaka gasps]

I almost achieved enlightenment.

By the way, Murai.

What happened to your face?

Oh, it's from a fight I had with Tao.

Tao? Do you have a brother?

[Murai] No, Tao is who I live with.

[Tanaka] So cute!

Tao's front paws are both white,

like he's wearing socks.

God, that's so cute!

[Murai] This is a picture of Tao

when he was a kitten.

[Tanaka] Cute!

[Murai] This is when he called me

for the first time.

[Tanaka] No way, that's too cute!

[Murai] This is when Tao walked in on me

in the bath for the first time.

[Tanaka] So cute! So precious!

[narrator] Cats have the power

to save the world.

And

And?

I love you, Sensei.

Huh?

Hey, Murai.

We were looking at pictures of Tao,

weren't we?

How about you stay on-topic?

I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.

[Tanaka chuckles lightly]

[narrator] A haiku from Tanaka.

[Tanaka] I can't with this guy

I truly cannot with him

I can't with this guy

Sensei, you've turned into

the Buddha again. Sensei!

Murai in Love.

[both sigh in relief]

-Thank you.

-[bottle cap pops, can fizzes open]

BATH

HAPPINESS

[both sigh]

[Tanaka] Huh?

-[Tanaka] Murai?

-[Murai] Sensei.

What a coincidence!

Do you come here often?

Why the hell are you here?

[Murai] Yes, since I was little.

I feel relaxed whenever I come here.

How about you, Sensei?

Me? I've been coming here

since I moved back to town.

I went to college far away,

so it's nostalgic for me.

BEER

[sighs] At this distance, this'll be easy!

I'll go home before he has the chance

to get any closer.

Sensei.

May I sit next to you?

[Tanaka] What?

That's a bit

A bit?

No, nothing. It's fine

Wait, wait, wait!

Why the hell did I have to

get a beer after taking a bath?

Why didn't I choose strawberry milk

or something?

Worse, I'm wearing the same old clothes

I've had since middle school.

I mean, what the hell is "happiness"?

I'll kick your a*s!

May I take this opportunity

to ask you three serious questions?

[Tanaka] Sure?

Are you seeing anyone at the moment?

[Tanaka coughs] Where did that come from?!

[Murai] Please answer me.

-[Tanaka] That's none of your busi

-[Murai] It is my business.

It'll help me decide

how I should proceed from here.

[Tanaka gasps] No, I'm single.

[narrator] In the 3D world, that is.

[Murai sighs]

That's a relief.

A relief? You little

It's a natural response.

Because I love you, Sensei.

HITOTOSE "IT'S A NATURAL RESPONSE.

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

Because I love you.

[man grunts]

-[Tanaka groans]

-[axe chopping]

Sensei, what's wrong?

-The lumberjack suddenly

-Lumberjack?

No, never mind.

These nerves are real tough.

But I like a good challenge!

[Tanaka] Stop it!

Who the hell are you? Get out!

Here's my second question.

Who is Hitotose?

[groans] This is no good.

They're too hard.

-Hey, Apprentice, bring me a chainsaw.

-What?

Like I said, I just misspoke.

I found it to be beyond the scope

of acceptable misspeaking.

Not a single part of it

was even close to my name.

But Master, that would go against

the craftsman's code!

[Master] I can't cut this.

What choice do we have?!

Bring me a chainsaw now!

Hitotose really isn't anyone.

Just forget it. Please.

-[Apprentice weeps]

-[chainsaw whirs]

[Tanaka] Oh, God, my nerves.

I'm going home now. Good night!

[Tanaka] My nerves are breaking down.

[upbeat romantic music playing]

Sensei, may I ask my last question?

[Tanaka] What is it?

[Murai] Why won't you look me in the eye?

[Tanaka] What? Eye

[Tanaka's heart palpitating]

That's because

you look exactly like

my beloved fave!

[groans]

[Murai] Sensei?

Sensei!

CAREER GUIDANCE ROOM

[Tanaka]

I have committed a terrible blunder.

A blunder in which I got a nosebleed

and passed out in front of my student.

It's not like I wanted to become

a high school teacher.

I would've taken any job

with a stable income

that allowed me

to devote myself to my fave.

I only want one thing.

To protect the beautiful, sweet world

where me and my fave can live in peace!

Don't worry. I love only you, Hitotose.

Please stay and watch over me.

[narrator] Illness.

GAUGE OF DELUSION

MAX

-[Murai] Excuse me.

-[Tanaka] Here he comes.

Don't worry, Kitty. I'm with you.

[Tanaka] Yes. Thank you, Hitotose.

[narrator]

Visual and auditory hallucinations.

Sensei, what did you need me for?

[inhales deeply]

First of all, thank you very much

for carrying me home after I fainted.

No, you have nothing to thank me for.

Actually, I was really glad

I got to talk to you that day.

-Now, let me get to the point.

-Okay.

I need you to stop being in love with me.

-No.

-[Tanaka] That was fast.

[Tanaka groans]

Kitty, don't give up.

Defeat that alien for me!

[exhales]

[Tanaka] Do you even understand

what it means to be married?

It seems like you're being awful frivolous

about this whole thing.

Marriage means becoming husband and wife

and spending your whole lives together.

I would never be frivolous

about something so serious.

[Tanaka] You're still in high school

right now.

How can you talk like that

when you have no plan for the future?

I can.

I have an absolutely unshakable will.

[Murai] I love you, Tanaka-sensei.

That is the one thing

that will always prevail.

[Tanaka] People's feelings change.

[Murai] Then that means

there is a possibility

that you will fall in love with me.

If I give up on that possibility now,

it would render my life

up to this point meaningless.

[Tanaka screaming internally]

That's quite the exaggeration.

How could that be?

We've only known each other

for a few months

[Tanaka] Huh? [echoing]

What's with that face?

Kitty, that boy is totally insane!

I understand.

[Tanaka] If you love me, that's fine!

You're free to do whatever you want.

But I will never fall in love with you!

Remember that, if nothing else!

Yep. I'm the one Kitty loves, not you.

Sorry 'bout that, my little doppelgang

GAUGE OF DELUSION

[Tanaka] Murai?

Sorry.

I somehow felt a strange evil presence

behind me all of a sudden.

[Tanaka] My

My almighty Gauge of Delusion.

No matter what happens,

I will never stop loving you

with all my heart.

Please remember that, if nothing else!

Big Sister, have you heard?

About Murai's drastic transformation?

Little Sister, as a fellow member

of the Murai fan club

[narrator] Total members: two.

it should go without saying

that I have.

[both] Now.

Let us investigate!

[narrator] Hitomi Nishifuji, 16 years old.

A famous cosplayer.

Yuuka Nishifuji, 16 years old.

A formidable manga artist.

[Yuuka] Kiri-chan!

-Call me "senpai"!

-[Hitomi exclaims]

I bet you know what happened, don't you?

What are you talking about?

Isn't it obvious? I'm talking about Murai!

[Kiriyama] Oh, Murai?

That guy He's crazy.

He's awesome, just deeply amazing.

Yeah. He's so badass

he'll blow your socks right off!

He's super awesome.

Big Sister, I think we've hit the limit

of Kiri-chan's tiny vocabulary.

This is no good. We've got no choice.

Let's go ask the pervert.

Kiri, lunch.

[Kiriyama] Hey, Murai. Speak of the devil.

Be right there.

[Hitomi and Yuuka] Murai! Good afternoon!

Good afternoon. Lunch.

This is our first time seeing you

after the transformation.

-Excuse me.

-[both] Huh?

-Okay, come on.

-[Hitomi] Big Sister, that's

-Get lost, you two.

-[Yuuka] Wait That's

-We're going to lunch now!

-That's

[both] Hitotose.

[gasps]

I'm telling you this

for your own good, Hitotose!

Hitotose really isn't anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm not talking to you!

Get your hands off him, now!

Don't provoke him!

[Kiriyama] Now you've pissed me off!

You've got some nerve, first-year!

[Murai] Hitotose

-What? You wanna step outside?

-[Kiriyama] Sure, let's do it!

[Murai] Did you just say "Hitotose"?

What?

[both] Yes.

[Hitomi] Hitotose, aka Midnight Angel.

He's a ninja from the Date Army

in the otome game Sengoku Koi Emaki.

His outlandish statements and crazy antics

have won him some hardcore fans.

[Kiriyama] What's an otome game?

A game in which

you experience virtual romance

by dating a character in the game world.

We've gotten into this game just recently,

but Hitotose is so quirky

that we really struggled to beat it.

[Hitomi] As my big sister said,

Hitotose is a really unique character.

He's famous for confusing players

with statements so cringe

they make your hair stand on end.

I see.

I didn't understand any of that,

but do you think I could borrow this game?

[all gasp]

[Hirai] Murai? What's the matter, Murai?

What made you say that?

Come on, you can tell us.

The person I'm in love with

called me Hitotose by mistake.

-[girls] The person you're in love with?

-[boys] Tetsuko?

-That means

-Tetsuko is playing this otome game

[shushes]

Who is the person

you're in love with, Murai?

[Murai] I will tell you

when the time comes,

but for now I need you to listen to me.

Since she got my name wrong,

she's been acting strange.

First, she won't look me in the eye.

And if our eyes do meet,

her face turns bright red

and she turns into the Buddha

or even faints.

-I'm sorry, Murai.

-[Murai] It's an adorable sight,

but it feels like she's avoiding me,

which is frustrating.

Could this all be due to the fact

that I look like Hitotose?

[Hitomi] Yes, I think so.

The fact that she even knows Hitotose

is pretty telling already.

But if she's turning into the Buddha,

I think it's safe to say

that he's her number-one fave.

I agree.

I don't know what I'd do

if my fave appeared in the real world.

If so, I would like even more

for you to lend me this game.

-[Tanaka chanting]

-[Murai] I need to learn about

this Hitotose person as my romantic rival.

If that's what you want.

[Murai] I appreciate it.

With all due respect,

since this is a rare opportunity,

I do have one condition.

What is it?

I'd like you to help us out

at an event we're participating in.

[narrator] I'd like you

to cosplay as Hitotose

at the doujinshi convention

we're participating in.

Sure, no problem.

Yay! Thank you. You'll be a big help.

[Hitomi] I did it, Big Sister!

[Yuuka] Nice work, Little Sister.

[Murai] Kiri, can I stay over

at your place tonight?

I just thought it'd be nice

to have someone with me.

[Hirai] What about me?

[closing theme song playing]