03x02 - She's Definitely a l*sbian

[bunniefuu]

[classical music playing]

[laughing]

Pool table right here. Home cinema.

Ah, the Harley. Shh! Best of all…

No f*ck' way.

Hey, if you go off the track,
it bounces around like crazy.

It'll give you a neck
like Fernando Alonso's.

Hey, now you can race in here instead
of being stupid on the streets. Hmm?

-[Pedro chuckles]
-Try it, man. You'll love it.

-[grunts]
-Yeah, see, it's hard to get in.

-Like the real ones.
-Jesus, dude, what the hell?

Here it is.
"Anarchy in romantic relationships."

"It's the practice
of establishing relationships

that aren't subject
to preexisting categories

that have been dictated
by hegemonic social norms."

"It implies the possibility
of maintaining multiple non-hierarchical

sexual-affective bonds,

given that relationships
aren't differentiated

from one another by labels." [whistles]

-And you actually agreed to all that?
-I didn't know what it was.

First, a closed relationship,
then an open one.

And now you're not even a couple.
Your thing doesn't even have a name.

-[laughing]
-Which son of a b*tch is f*cking her now?

Uh, you sure there's only one?

I mean, "anarchy" sounds
like there'd be more than one.

Time to face it, buddy.
Luz likes men, men plural.

-All right!
-[Pedro grunting]

Everybody get out of my house.
You've seen it now.

I think your problem with Luz
is that nothing's binding you.

You've got no children,
no mortgage, nothing.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Hey.
-Raúl, please.

Look who's talking.
He couldn't get rid of Blanca.

-Sure, whatever you say.
-Why don't we play pool?

No more games. Here, give me that bottle.

-[Santi] What an as*h*le.
-Hand over the bottle.

-Go, get lost.
-Raúl, don't do your usual.

-Go on.
-Don't smother her. Don't pursue her.

Just don't be you. Don't screw this up!

[line rings]

-Luz.
-[Luz] What is it, honey?

What are you up to?

ALPHA MALES

Luis, come see
what your daughter did to her hair!

Son.

Wait, what? Honey, no.

You looked so beautiful with long hair.

Handsome.

We gotta fix this before she goes.

But, honey,
what's so wrong with being a girl?

I don't wanna get t*tties.

Okay, but genes are so unpredictable.

You might not be as voluptuous
as your mom.

-Uh, Luis.
-[Luis] I'm trying to reassure her.

[Iris] And ballet's for idiots.
I'd rather play soccer.

[Esther] Honey, they've won the World Cup.

Girls play soccer too.

Yeah, but the boys' team makes more money.

-That's true.
-[Iris] And they get to go out.

You always let Ulises go out
with his friends.

-Okay, but he's older than you.
-But I'm more mature.

Uh, Iris, there are advantages
to being a girl, hon.

Like what?

Well… [sighs]

Well, you can get to be pregnant.

Is that an advantage? Mm.

You can get into nightclubs for free.
I guess that's objectification.

But I've never gotten in for free.

And girls get to wear makeup.
Well, boys can too.

And getting your period does suck. Mm-hmm.

Uh, honey, hang on.
Come talk to me for a minute.

This is way over our heads.
I think we should see a psychologist.

-f*ck! There always has to be something.
-Yeah, well…

[doorbell rings]

Marga just kicked me out.

Luis!

[man on TV] Thank you so much.

[man 2] It's pretty cozy, isn't it?
At this price, it's a steal.

[man] I'd like to pay the deposit in cash…

Mom. Hey, Mom. Mom.

Enough already, okay?
You're being ridiculous.

Please, get that man out of here.

Hey, hey, listen to me.
Why don't we discuss this?

No, I'm finally free.
Luz has opened my eyes.

Luz? Which Luz?

My lawyer.

But why is she involved?

Hey, don't listen to her.
She's a troublemaker.

I'm going to Istanbul
to see the Hagia Sophia.

See what? You gotta get back together
with your husband.

Okay, I'll take him back right now

if he can tell me
one thing he likes about me.

You're very good at cooking lentils.

What?

Fifty years of marriage,
and that's the only thing you can say?

[Luis mutters]

Uh, and you're great
at remembering which pills I have to take.

-[Luis] Say something you like about her.
-[groans]

About her personality.

What do you mean?
Taking care of me doesn't count?

[sighs]

A NETFLIX SERIES

[classical music playing]

ALPHA MALES

[man] What does it mean to be a man?
It's becoming less clear.

Is it a privilege to be a man?

Or are we victims of masculinity?

No one is gonna
deconstruct my masculinity.

-[sighs] You're neo-archaic.
-What is that?

[man] From now on, you're all
sexist pigs under deconstruction.

[audience applauding]

Whoo-hoo!

Alpha Males,

a comedy that'll make you laugh,
but will also make you think.

We're halfway through sh**ting,

and we can't wait for you
to see the finished product.

Does anyone have any questions?

[laughs] Don't be shy.

-That's why we're here.
-[woman] Thank you.

Because Bad b*tch was such a flop,

do you feel you're fighting
to save your career with this project?

Well, I wouldn't say that.

This'll be a hit.
It's about real-world issues.

What man doesn't feel like
he's a little lost these days?

[woman 2] To be honest,
I'm already bored by the title.

Is a feminist struggle
something to laugh at?

[Pedro] On the contrary.

The series is intended
to be a criticism of sexist men

who won't adapt to modern times.

Okay, but it seems like, in the end,

straight white men always end up
taking up all the screen time.

You should know
one guy's hetero-curious. [clicks tongue]

-How'd it go with the press?
-Great.

Very good.

It's stirring up some controversy,
but I think that'll help us.

That sounds great. Sit down.

Listen, we've hired
a woman to replace you as CEO.

Ah.

Well, as the CEO,
that would have been good to know.

We want you to focus
on what you're good at, being creative.

You've got to understand that we had

to address the negative atmosphere
in the company.

Negative atmosphere?
Uh, I don't think I've ever noticed that.

Pedro, women comprise 80%
of our workforce.

[chuckles] Well, wouldn't it be good
to balance that out a little?

Do you realize no one here speaks to you?

No, I didn't. [clears throat]

I find this all rather humiliating,

but I imagine you know what's best.
It's your company.

[José Ángel]
Virginia is in her office now.

If you would like to go meet her.

[knock on door]

Come on in.

Virginia.

How are you, Pedro?

Surprised, but okay.

My schedule's tight
since we're still sh**ting.

So let's grab lunch--

I would prefer to keep our interactions
within the workplace. Hmm?

-Sure.
-[cell phone chimes]

I've already got the production plan
and the cost report.

So if I have any questions,
I'll let you know.

BRING ME CHURROS AND CHOCOLATE, PLEASE!

-Is that important?
-No. Yes, it's my girl… my…

[sighs] My partner is pregnant.

-That's wonderful.
-[chuckles] Thanks. We're thrilled.

But today, she isn't feeling so great.

So if you're all right with it,
I'll be going now.

If you must.

That answer felt ambiguous.
Don't you think?

If you have to go, you can leave.

Oh, and one more thing.

I am a happily married woman,

and I never sleep
with my coworkers, by the way.

For your peace of mind.

[mutters]

Oh, sh*t.

[doorbell rings]

I want you to meet Rita.
She's our new rescue dog.

What?

Remember you said that you
didn't have time to look after a dog?

Yeah, and I still don't.

[Raúl] Exactly,
and that's where I come in.

We'll both take care of her.
We can do this together.

Raúl, that was just an excuse.

When I was little, I had a dog,

and I was devastated
when we had to put it down.

But look at this adorable little face.

Stop emotionally blackmailing me.

All right, all right.
I'll take her back to the shelter.

But you do know,
that when they don't get adopted,

then it's goodbye, Rita.

You can be such an as*h*le.

You wanna take her for a walk?
I already bought some poop bags.

Wow, what an amazing father!

Hey.

How about we go stay
in the countryside this weekend?

So she can run around in nature.

She's been caged for so long,
the poor thing.

Unless you have plans with that dude.

You plotted this all out, huh?

Every detail.

Okay, but what
do we do about our daughter?

Ignore it until she gets over it?
Take her to therapy? Uh…

That's not my area.
Iris should see a pediatric psychologist.

Okay, but as her parents,
can you tell us what to do?

I'm here solely to help you as a couple.

Right, but the fact
we're parents affects us as well.

She already said it's not her area.

I appreciate people
who don't interfere where they shouldn't.

Okay, but if Luz doesn't do it,
another lawyer will.

Right, she pretends to be a feminist.

But she's actually a tight-a*s
who profits off housewives.

I'm sorry, um,
I think I need some context here.

Well, it turns out my wife's best friend
is helping my mother

divorce my father
after 50 years of marriage.

She's just-- [sobbing]

Are you crying now?

Yeah, so what?
That's what we pay for. [sniffles]

-[Rosa] You're bothered that he's crying?
-It's a little weird. Hmm.

A separation often
generates feelings of impotence,

fear and anger towards one's parents.

Yes, I'm feeling all that.
I'm going through all that.

[Rosa] It teaches us that, as a couple,
we should never take anything for granted.

-[Luis] Mm-hmm.
-No matter how long you've been together.

You have to do the work constantly.

See? Constantly.

[Daniela groans]

I wanna die.

I swear now my life has no meaning at all.

You've posted it on Insta.
It's too late for an ab*rtion.

No, that's the thing.

In the time since I posted I'm pregnant,
I've lost 2,000 follow-- [gags]

Of course,
your target audience has shifted.

From guys who wanted
to see you doing yoga,

to moms who wanna show solidarity
while you're going through the sh*t.

[Daniela] But I refuse to play that game.

Sis, if you actually wanna be
a content creator at your age,

you gotta have kids. It is what it is.

Look, I'm ready to delete my accounts
and tell everyone to f*ck off.

Right, so you wanna be a jobless mom
who's dependent on Pedro?

-Aren't you almost broke yet?
-[doorbell buzzes]

Why did I think it would be a good idea
to agree to have a kid with that as*h*le?

[Cynthia] Instagram b*tch
or Pedro's b*tch, your choice.

I heard that perfectly.

Brother-in-law, quite the mess. [laughs]

Yeah. Hey!

Mmm! Mmm!

-It's weird seeing you eat this junk food.
-Only thing I can keep down.

Hey, how about Patricia
makes you some broccoli?

Patricia's out sick.

-Her pregnancy?
-Depression.

[scoffs] That damn Stefan.

Why not stay at my place for a few months?

I have a maid and a pool.

[laughing]

No, thank you. The hormonal shift
hasn't affected my brain yet.

Don't you like being waited on?

-Nope.
-[Pedro] Hmm.

Feel free to leave whenever.
You're spoiling the mood in here.

-Uh, call me if you need anything, okay?
-[Daniela] Mm-hmm.

I'm available 24/7.

-Wonderful.
-Mm. Wonderful.

-That's yours.
-[grunts]

-Let's go!
-Game! Three-two.

-[Raúl] That was yours.
-[Santi] Mine?

It was right next to you!

Stop going right up to the net.

So how you like your new boss?

Uh, she told me she's happily married

and that she doesn't sleep
with her coworkers.

She's trying to f*ck.

-Why even say that? Hmm?
-You sure the dog should eat that?

It's just protein. Why not?

Raúl, you're probably the last person

in the entire world
I would trust with a pet.

Whatever, dude.

But now Luz and I
have something uniting us.

Not just uniting, binding us together.

'Cause this dog'll live
for at least six more years. I asked.

[Luis] You should've given her a c*ck.

They live to 95. [chuckles]

Santi, what are you doing?

Uh, Irene left me on "read." What do I do?

-[Pedro] Nothing.
-Didn't you say you were done with dating?

No, stop. That's misogynistic.
We shouldn't discriminate.

Oh, so we should find a sweet spot

between not harassing them
and not ignoring them?

Do you guys know
where I can find any funny memes?

Come on, it's your serve.

f*ck! I need an excuse to text her.
Anything, I don't know.

Like one of those shitty videos
you guys send to the group.

Not yours though.

[grunting]

-[Pedro] Fifteen-love.
-That was mine, dude.

If I try to hit it, it's yours.
If I don't hit it, it's mine.

What do you want?

-Just play better, dipshit!
-[Luis laughs]

You need to learn to communicate, man.

Hello.

Álex, take your feet
off the table, please.

[Álex scoffs]

Check out the awesome guys
at the university you send me to. Hmm?

"Journalism majors are a bunch of sluts."

"Let's go rip off their panties."

"After the first party, there won't
be any left to f*ck." What is this?

My male classmates.
They made a WhatsApp group just for them

and accidentally added me,
because my name's Álex.

-Send me the screenshots.
-[Álex] What for?

Hurry! Send them to me.

-What are you gonna do, Dad?
-[Santi] Shh! Quiet.

Irene, how are you?

Sorry for calling late like this.

Well, it's only five, but I wanted…

I mean, I know you read my message, so I…

f*ck, God damn it. Not that.

Irene, how are you?

I'm fine, but I was just talking
to my daughter Álex,

and she was just added to this
WhatsApp group for guys at her college.

And they've been sending each other
all this misogynistic nonsense.

[snorts] I thought
that maybe you'd be interested

in it for your new book, right?

I can't believe
how this new generation behaves.

It's so inappropriate.
It really upsets me, honestly.

Okay, I'll be sending you
screenshots. Bye.

-Send them.
-[phone whooshes]

You've seriously fallen in love again?

What do they mean, "award not granted"?

I didn't win the poetry contest.

Interesting. That's so hard to believe.

Could you please look
for a normal job now?

-You're depressing.
-[phone rings]

Oh, sh*t.

Shh! [grunts]

Hey, Irene. How are you?

Hey, these texts are unbelievable.

I'm gonna do a Reel about modern sexism.

-Would your daughter be okay with that?
-Yes. Yeah.

I've raised her
to be a highly empowered, determined,

and most importantly, a brave woman.

So can I see you tonight then?

Just so stressed out about this
f*cking book. I really need to unwind.

Oh, yeah, unwinding is very good. Uh-huh.

Okay, nine o'clock, my place. Kisses.

Brilliant. See ya.

Yes! [humming giddily]

Whoo! Pow!

What?

No messing around. I want a divorce now.

Marga, all I'm trying to tell you is
after having been a stay-at-home spouse,

you have the right
to demand a salary from him.

For 52 years,
you've been a nanny, maid, cook,

accountant, personal shopper,

and all that for the modest price of…

[clicks tongue] …zero euros a month.

How much do you think I could get?

You'd have to multiply the number
of years you've been married

by the minimum wage by law for each year.

Maybe I could go on a cruise.

-I'd say more than one.
-Hmm.

[telephone rings]

-What's up?
-[woman] Paz Artigas is here to see you.

Bring her in.

-Well, think it over. Let me know, okay?
-Okay.

I'm headed to Istanbul.

Well, that's great.
You feel some of that Turkish passion.

-No, I'm going with my sister.
-[laughs] Ah, okay.

-[Marga] Hello.
-Hello.

-Good afternoon.
-Come in.

-[Luz gasps]
-[both moaning]

Don't show up at my office.
I'm serious. You'll distract me.

-Pack your things. We're going to Paris.
-What? No, I can't.

-I'm working.
-Say you got your period.

I don't have a uterus.

Well, then an anxiety attack.
They're all the rage.

-[laptop closes]
-Okay, let's go.

What? Hey, no. Besides,
I've already got plans this weekend.

Not as good as this one. [laughs]

But… but…

[man] At 11:50, she headed to the market.

She spent half an hour talking

to the butcher about how expensive
everything is.

And then at 1:30, she had an appointment
with the rheumatologist.

At five o'clock,
she went to see the lawyer.

And at half past six, Pilates.

And then, back home.
That's where I left her.

So, when did she see her lover?

He's saying there's no one else, Joaquín.

But there has to be.

-Luis, your father's hired a detective.
-What?

Talk to him,
or he's gonna blow his entire pension.

-Yeah, later. Look.
-What is that?

It's a tent for camping. Tomorrow,
you and I'll sleep beneath the stars.

-[splutters]
-I'm gonna test it out in the courtyard.

But, honey, we're honestly doing fine.
There's no need for all of this.

-Weren't you listening to Rosa?
-[sighs]

Couples shouldn't
take anything for granted.

Okay, we've got the flashlights, stove.

We've got a canteen, right?

Honey, our daughter
is having an identity crisis,

and your father's just moved in with us.

You think this
is a good time to go camping?

-It's a romantic getaway.
-But I have to rehearse.

Monday I have an audition.

Hey, what's more important?
Our marriage or a detergent commercial?

f*ck, it's all in Portuguese.

What about the kids?
There's no one here to watch them.

-Dad's here. That's one upside to this.
-No.

[speaking Portuguese]

Your father is senile and paranoid.

Well, then the kids'll look after him.
They're old enough.

So who's the caretaker here?

-[speaking Portuguese]
-[mutters]

Pine… [continues speaking Portuguese]

[sighs] There's nothing like
a good f*ck to bring down your cortisol.

Hmm, yeah, yeah,
I'm also pretty stressed out about work.

-[sighs]
-Didn't you get fired?

Oh, yeah.

But I'm so busy developing
my own projects.

I'm finishing up my plan
to make offices female-friendly.

-Female-friendly? [chuckles]
-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, so,
they'll have these urinals, right?

-Redesigned the female anatomy.
-[yawns]

-Mm.
-Is it time to go? Uh, okay.

Are you in a hurry?

Me? No, nope, no.

-Want pizza?
-[doorbell ringing]

-All right.
-Mm-hmm.

-Hey, Santi, how's it going?
-Shh!

-Shut up.
-[man] You not working today?

Gimme a tip, dude.

-Quiet! Go, go! Piss off.
-Come on, man.

Oh, are you busy writing?

[chuckles] Never stop, do you?

Orgasms set off my creativity.

Oh, that's great.

So you came. I mean, just saying.

You know, because sometimes
you don't really know for sure, right?

Here you go.

I'm gonna go crazy.

The more I investigate,
the more bullshit I find.

It just never ends.

Is the manosphere really that bad?

Look, your daughter's story's gone viral.

-Wow.
-Look at all the messages.

They either insult me or wanna f*ck me.
Usually, it's all the same dude.

But why are they insulting you?

-Have you ever heard of incels?
-Uh, yeah.

A group of, uh, something.

They're involuntary celibates.

Guys who can't get laid
and who blame women for denying them sex.

They call it a "gynocentric conspiracy."

[chuckles] Do people
like that really exist?

Mm. You f*cking bet.
Look, this is their forum.

My name's "Darío."

[typing]

"Let's smash all their pussies
and k*ll them all."

No way.

This is how I get information.

Look, this guy's just uploaded a photo.

"Hey, are you a virgin too, Paco?
Tell me your life story."

[continues typing]

[Santi chuckles]

Ulises, for you, son.

A smartphone!

-Hey, that's not fair.
-That's because we trust you, Ulises.

If anything happens with Granddad,
you call us.

Our numbers are saved on there.

Gimme a kiss, okay? Mwah!

I don't wanna stay with Granddad.

Why not, hmm? He loves you a lot. Mwah!

He bosses me around, but not Ulises.

Because your granddad's from another era,
and he thinks all women are maids.

But I'm not a woman.
I told you. I'm a guy.

Uh, okay, but don't tell him that.
He won't understand it.

Granddad has
to respect my gender identity.

Yeah, good luck with that, honey.

[doorbell buzzes]

[gasps]

[sobbing]

Patricia.

Sorry. You remind me of Stefan.

-Me?
-[sobbing]

Patri, go lay down for a bit, sweetie.
Go lay down.

Have you heard from him?
Has he asked about me?

-[Pedro] Mnh-mnh.
-[sobbing]

Are you seeing this? I don't know
why I told you not to fire that guy.

[groans] Charity lets the plague in,
as my grandma used to say.

Hmm. Hey, can you take me to the gyno?

-Another appointment?
-[Daniela] Uh, yeah.

Can you take me? If not, I'll take a taxi.

-I can, yeah. That's why I'm here.
-Mm. Mm.

Hey, are you sure
all that sugar's good for the baby?

I trust my body.

Daniela, you're developing
gestational diabetes.

But processed foods
are the only thing I don't throw up.

That doesn't matter.
You have to eat healthy.

Ultimately, your body retains most
of the nutrients, even if you vomit.

[sighs] Why is
pregnancy making me feel so bad?

-My maid is feeling f*cking incredible.
-Aside from depression.

[doctor] Look, you can take this.

But if you overdo it,
you'll get constipated.

How wonderful.

[engine revving]

Where are we going?

-To my house.
-Excuse me?

You can't live in that filthy apartment,

with Patricia off sick
and you throwing up everywhere.

-Let me take care of you.
-[cell phone rings]

-My boss.
-[cell phone beeps]

Virginia.

-Help me, please. I'm being kidnapped!
-Shh! [mutters]

[Virginia] Pedro?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here.

-Where? You're supposed to be here.
-[gasps] I just had to--

[huffs] I'll be right there.

-Virginia?
-[line beeps]

[clicks tongue]

-Oh.
-[exhales]

If you buy me a McFlurry,
I'll forgive you.

[Santi] Mm.

[sighs]

-[tires screech]
-[horn honks]

[sighs]

[muffled rock music playing]

What do you mean you can't come?
Rita's really gonna be disappointed.

Things over here got a little complicated.
I have to go to Paris.

Paris? With that other guy?

Let's do it next weekend.
Come on, you hadn't even booked anything.

Yeah, I set everything up.

Okay, send me the booking confirmation
and I'll pay my share.

No, forget it. Go, enjoy your weekend.

Bye.

Aww!

That's a bummer. She stood me up.

If I had to choose between a road trip
with you and a dog

or going to Paris. Hmm…

Raúl, your dog just can't
run all over the restaurant.

What am I gonna do all weekend?

Uh, work?

Make the most of this romantic anarchy
and go out with someone else.

Good idea. Plenty of fish.

Hey, but don't lie.
Affective responsibility.

All right, I've matured, haven't I?

Hey, Raúl, I think we need to talk.

About what?

That you don't do sh*t around here.

[Raúl] Like, like,

like, like.

Like… match!

How far is it?

Stop complaining. Enjoy the great scenery.
Check out this forest.

Ugh, give me my phone, at least.

Esther, try to live
in the moment. Mindfulness.

Luis, have we gotten lost?
Tell me the truth.

-Huh? No, no, no.
-[bees buzzing]

Just check the map.

There's no signal here,
but we're not that far, all right?

It's this way. Just trust me a little.

Right, with your sense of direction.

In the mountains,
you gotta work as a team.

It's a matter of survival.

-Breathe in this air.
-f*ck me.

[students chattering]

This seat is taken.

-So rude.
-Yeah, what about you?

That was so uncalled-for. Those poor guys.

They got kicked out because you
sent screenshots to that feminist sl*t.

[student] It's hard enough here.
Then they get expelled

for two stupid comments.

It's just so unfair.

Yeah, but listen. They said
they would rip off our panties.

Two of them were really hot.

And not that many guys study journalism.

So you don't care
that they called us sluts?

They were joking, for f*ck's sake.

[exhales]

[student 2] Psst. Psst!

-[quietly] You suck.
-[students laughing]

-[horn honks]
-Hey!

Hey!

Hello. Sorry, I got hungry.

Hey, don't worry, kid. Welcome. All right.

[chuckles] This is great.

I'm so glad that Álex changed her mind.
How old are you, 20, 22?

-Who's Álex?
-My love. [chuckles]

-Blanca?
-What's up?

I'm getting bullied. It's your fault.

Your little friend posted
my screenshots on her Stories.

-I'm done telling you anything.
-[splutters] Álex!

Álex, we have to fight modern sexism.

Let me fight it my own way.

Okay, but don't be mad at me.

-You've been brave in your commitment to--
-[door slams]

Álex!

It's so sick
using your daughter to hook up.

[clicks tongue]

Virginia, sorry, but my partner
is developing gestational diabetes.

I've noticed an overrun in the series.

A what?

Extra costs. A deviation.

Oh, right, yeah,
we had to repeat a few scenes.

It took a while to get the right shot--

Pedro, stick to the budget
we agreed on, huh?

With new projects, it's very normal
to have to reshoot some scenes.

-If it turns out we--
-Not if it's well-planned, no.

Virginia. [sighs]

I'm sensing some hostility here.

I don't know what they told you,
but if you have a problem with me, say so.

I would like for our relationship
to be an honest one.

I don't like Alpha Males,
and I don't like you.

I didn't mean that honest. [chuckles]

Just in case, I've put the screenwriters
to work on another series.

Really?

Harassed.

A bigwig moves to a new company.

He pretends his boss
is harassing him so he can steal her job.

And the other employees,
in a show of sisterhood,

t*rture him every day
until he has no choice but to f*ck off.

Yes, and now we're trying
to decide whether in the end,

he falls into a self-destructive spiral
and kills himself.

Or if he has a motorcycle accident
and loses his genitals.

[Bea laughs]

And… is it a comedy?

[Bea] Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

[Esther] f*ck.

f*ck, I need water. [panting]

Look, let's camp here.
It's a beautiful spot.

I got one bar!
Luis, hurry, open Google Maps.

Why is there no signal?
This 5G sh*t is not working.

[man] Esther,
you got the anti-flu commercial gig.

Pick up, or I'll give it to someone else.

[groans]

-Oh. sh*t!
-Ah. Ah!

f*ck! Luis, I'm gonna k*ll you.

But how was I supposed to know they'd--
One bar, one bar!

Give it, hand it over.

-Look, look, Ulises sent a WhatsApp.
-[chiming]

[Ulises] Dad, Grandpa fell over.
What do I do?

-[Iris] He's not waking up. Granddad?
-[Ulises] Should I throw water on him?

-[Iris] I'll do it.
-What the heck?

Is he dead?

[doctor] We'll keep him under observation
for 24 hours.

But we think it was just
an anxiety attack.

A heart attack.
These doctors are all idiots.

Hey, now, Dad. [chuckles]

[doctor] Let's see
if the medication helps him.

So what happened?
Were you overwhelmed with the kids or…?

What is that?

[Joaquín] Your mother
has lost her damn mind.

-[chattering]
-[cell phone rings]

[Turkish music playing]

-Hello.
-[Luis] Mom.


Could it be there's an extra zero?

That's what your father owes me
for all those years I was his maid,

his cook, a nanny,

and a bunch of other things
I can't remember right now.

Well, just so you know,
you've given him an anxiety attack.

A heart attack!

He does like to play the victim.

Mom, we're currently in the hospital.

Okay, son, gotta go.
And your aunt says hello.

[Luis groans]

-And?
-How could Luz do this?

She's gone insane.

I practice something
called romantic anarchy.

Romantic anarchy? What does that mean?

Well, it means I can have
multiple socially hegemonic,

non-normative, hierarchical relationships.

So you're not looking
for something serious?

I am, but I don't wanna use
outdated and monogamous labels

that restrict the intimacy
in our dominant culture.

Okay, so you f*ck everything.

You know something?

"Exclusivity, uh, sexual and affective,
as a mandate,

is not admissible

as it implies a kind of…
coercion or a right of veto."

You're reading it.

[woman] In other words,
there are no rules or categories.

And each partner can be with whoever
they want without giving any explanations?

That's right. That's romantic anarchy.
Very well explained.

How stressful.
Why would you wanna live like that?

I don't get it.

Me neither.

[Rita whines]

Let's go for a little walk. Hmm?

[cell phone beeps]

-[Luz] Raúl.
-[Raúl] You back from Paris?

Can we see each other?

No, I can't, not tonight.

How is it romantic anarchy
if you're always with the same guy?

-Raúl.
-Do it for Rita. She misses you.

Okay, big kiss.

This is a bad look. [sighs]

Hey, that's a nice bike. Does it go fast?

Why don't you give me a ride sometime?
I love biker chicks.

Well, that's too bad,
because assholes don't turn me on at all.

[intercom ringing]

[buzzer sounds]

How rude. Bet she's a lesbo.

Come on. Come on, Rita.

[classical music playing]