Your brighter tomorrow doesn't start
when you land on the moon.
It starts when you arrive in our
state-of-the-art BrightSider rocket.
The very ship itself that takes you
to the Brightside Lunar Residences.
And three days
on an exclusive BrightSider rocket
means three days of luxury,
of leisure and of five-star dining.
Marlene, what's cooking tonight?
[chuckles]
- Now that's good home cooking, in space.
- [grunts] Ow.
- And Shana has converted her seating pod...
- [crew chattering]
into a luxurious,
double-wide sleeping area
to get some rest.
Or maybe, I don't know, catch up
on a couple of reruns of Space Sheriff
on the Brightside's
exclusive lunar television.
And of course,
when you're flying to the moon,
it's always five o'clock.
Mmm.
And always on the house.
[exhales deeply] Out of this world.
[Jack] And while you're considering
an exciting purchase
or getting ready for our next launch,
come see a BrightSider rocket for yourself
at our wonderful new launch facility,
right here in Vistaville.
Yes, it's an exciting time for us
here at the Brightside,
and we just can't wait for you
to live your brighter tomorrow today.
[inaudible dialogue]
[Elle] What you got there?
[sighs] Here.
That's from the Sea of Serenity...
- Ooh.
- 243,000 miles up.
Mmm, what'd you do?
Pick it up at a parking lot?
Wouldn't you like to know?
Mmm, a virtuoso and a f*cking pebble.
That's great American business.
Oh, man. You have no idea, do you?
How big this thing goes.
Well, I'm just hoping to get Ma
out of the home and into her own place.
[laughs] Well then, look out there.
They're fueling up.
[metal clanging]
It's been six weeks.
Investors are tired of delays.
So, I announced a launch. This week.
Wait.
We said we were months out.
They're looking us up and down.
Time to make them beg for it.
So send them some nice pictures.
They'll want it more for waiting.
[sighs] Jack.
You and I both know that the world runs
on dupes' misspent dollars.
[Jack sighs]
I mean, I thought that's why
we had so much fun together.
And, uh, when they come back down?
Oh, they'll be thumbing it
at launch terminals for months
before they get a flight back.
And when they tell everyone the truth?
Then we'll have cashed out
and left lawyers to muzzle them
and mop up.
We get the money. We make the truth.
Now open your gift and enjoy it. [sighs]
[chuckles, sighs]
Hey.
You're throwing the opening pitch
for the Volts tonight.
Wow.
- Every little boy's dream. [chuckles]
- [inhales sharply] You're my pebble.
And everything you did with this,
I can do with you.
[kisses]
[car door opens]
Joey!
Hey. Merry Christmas. [chuckles] Almost.
Hey, you got a minute?
- Please, kid, I got... I got some news.
- I got no time for door-to-door salesmen.
I worked it for you to throw
the first pitch for the Volts tonight.
Meet the team and everything.
[stammers] It's once in a lifetime.
Don't miss it because of me.
And I don't know if you heard,
but we got a launch on the books.
[inhales deeply]
Everything's coming together.
It'd mean the world to share it with you.
Where's everyone going?
- Who?
- The people in your rocket.
- You didn't build them any houses.
- They're gonna be fine.
- What do you think I am?
- I have no f*cking idea.
You're not selling this house!
You're a lot of things,
but you're not strapped for cash.
- Grow up!
- [sniffs, sighs]
Life's not going away
no matter how much you pout about it.
The invite stands!
Unless you want to blow that
for yourself too!
[sighing]
T-minus 76 hours, 34 minutes, Mr. B.
And news of the launch also
has our sales rocketing upward, currently.
[stammers]
Who all knows about the launch, Herb?
Everyone. Betty's been making
exciting calls all morning.
- They're excited to hear from us.
- It's an exciting time.
I see you've been very busy,
which is why probably we found out
about the launch
from Mrs. Selwyn's associates,
and not from you.
Yeah, that's it. She's been, uh, making
a lot of things happen right now.
Only I should mention there are
a few final decisions outstanding,
- in terms of who's in the departure queue.
- Right, just take care of it, Herb.
Right, yes. Sorry, Jack,
about not showing more initiative
and following through there.
I'm on it. Only I'm not exactly sure
about what's the best...
Oh, just take care of it! [chuckles]
[breathes deeply] He seems really eager
for me to take care of it.
Hell's wrong with him?
[sighs] And why did you apologize
for him being so out to lunch?
Because I didn't
not let it impede my doing better.
We've been keeping
this office alive for a month now,
while Shirley and Eddie are off
who knows where.
And I'm still on a freakin' temp contract.
He should try being a little grateful,
since we are all he's got.
No one's ever done more for me, Bun Bun.
[scoffs]
He owes you a promotion.
[DealerBot] Your card, ma'am.
[DealerBot whirring]
[DealerBot] The bet is to you, sir.
The bet is to you, sir.
- I'm all in.
- [DealerBot] All in.
All in.
All in.
[poker player 1 sighs]
- [DealerBot whirring] That's all, folks.
- [poker player 2] Oh, f...
[DealerBot]
Congratulations, ma'am. You win.
- Congratulations, ma'am. You win.
- [chuckles]
Your wedding day.
You wanted the taffeta,
and you were right.
And that smile Jacky's giving you,
you can't fake that.
[inhales] Now,
I know we've had some rough spots, us two.
And Lord knows,
you hold a grudge like a g*dd*mn pit bull.
But our boys haven't talked in a month.
And it's going to take us getting along
to make it right.
That's why I'm here today,
taking the high road.
And that's why you are going
to have to admit you still love him.
And he's desperate for you.
[Joey] Um, excuse me?
[gasps] Joey. Sweet boy.
You look tired. Are you sleeping?
[stammers]
I'm fine. What are you doing here?
Our family needs to stay together
right now.
I thought your mother might want to hear
about some of these old things.
The past has a pull, you know.
- Can I show you?
- No. No, thanks.
Look, I understand
you not taking your father's calls.
It's all I can do myself sometimes.
But Joseph, he's family.
He's a con man.
And I am so sick of keeping my mouth shut
and having to live with his mistakes.
That's what having a father is.
Doesn't have to be.
What the hell does that mean?
- God, you were gorgeous in there.
- [gasps] Oh, my God.
- Nobody saw you, did they?
- When you turned over that full house,
parts of me quivered
I would've sworn were not mobile, Shirley.
[chuckles] Here. Look.
- [cackling] It's so much.
- Oh! Come to papa.
Oh, Shirley, let's never go back
to real life. [chuckles]
- [Shirley giggling]
- Such an unpalatable mixture
of winning and losing.
Ugh, can we agree that you win
a lot more when I'm around?
- Yeah, when we cheat.
- And nobody misses the g*dd*mn moon.
It's just a ball of dust.
Can't even shine on its own.
- [knocks on window]
- [chuckles]
f*ck!
- [Eddie] Fred! Get out of here, Shirley!
- [Shirley] Stop it! [grunts]
- You pullin' two-man action in my game?
- [grunting] Ah, sh*t. Ow.
- Fred. Fred! Okay.
- Certain forces, once unleashed,
can only find recompense in blood.
- Don't hurt him, please!
- No, it's all right.
We got a history, me and him.
Fred, Fred, just one second, okay?
- Please. Fred, just listen.
- What are you doing?
- Fred... [grunting]
- [Shirley shouting]
[toaster sizzling]
[Eddie grunting]
- [timer dings]
- [Eddie crying]
[toaster] Enjoy your breakfast.
[Eddie grunting, panting]
- [Shirley] Hey, hey. Hey.
- Expect another visit.
- [Shirley] Come on. [grunts]
- Penalties, plus interest.
You f*cking animal!
- Careful. Careful.
- [breathes heavily] Sorry. Okay.
[people chattering]
[Myrtle breathing shakily]
Here. I made it for you. It smells nice.
Oh. Thank you.
- Is it "cimmanon"?
- Lavender. [sighs]
Les, I made it. [chuckles]
Yes, you said. Thank you.
N-No, no.
I made the launch list. [chuckles]
I'm going up in three days.
[stammers] So I probably won't be back
for a while, and... and...
That's "impobbisle."
I have yet to verify the vessel's
passenger-class certification.
[chuckling]
So you can't find a piece of paper?
Leaving orbit on an unregistered launch...
I can have it halted.
- And I would never forgive you.
- No.
[breathing shakily] But you see,
I made this mistake before, ma... [sighs]
What? [stammers]
What are you so hung up on, Les?
May I see her?
She was well trained...
but it only takes one mistake.
I'm sorry.
No need.
You weren't driving the truck.
You didn't violate the off-leash rule.
I'm still sorry. It's awful.
But it's not all your fault.
That is the customary consolation.
But you see, I...
I loved her.
[sighs]
That's... That's why
I let her break the rules.
You loved her.
Correct.
And what does that have to do with me?
Well...
The rules are the rules, ma'am.
[scoffs] Jesus.
Stop g*dd*mn calling me "ma'am!"
Let's get a move on, you lugs!
She wants liftoff in three days,
not three weeks.
Watch it. Lock it in right.
- [worker 2] Yeah, you got it, Walt.
- [hissing]
- Put on your f*cking goggles.
- What?
- [screaming]
- [alarm blaring]
What did I say?
[worker 2] Guys, get help! Help!
- [screaming continues]
- Turn the valve off!
Get that genius to a doctor.
- [groaning, crying]
- [worker 2] We're gonna need some help!
Could you list, sir, three potential areas
of contribution
you'd contribute upon arrival
to build a more collaborative
Lunar community?
What are we discussing here?
I'm a first-class passenger.
And you should know your current attitude
will determine your position
in the departure queue.
[Phil] Oh, for f*ck's sake.
You're gonna hear from my lawyer
if I'm not on that launch.
Don't write that, Bun Bun.
You could just put, uh, "expletive."
- Good we checked him out.
- Mm-hmm.
So, only two seats left.
We should fill them appropriately.
Maybe we should run this decision by Jack.
- He's great with decisions.
- Except he's never here.
And when he is,
he's checked out and worthless.
You know, Herbie,
HQ would really wanna hear about him
and his poor performance.
And they'd be impressed
by whoever told them.
No, no, no.
That's actually going over Jack's head.
Oh.
And luckily,
I don't have anyone's Lunar link.
Well, then,
if we really wanna do the right thing,
we should tell them in person.
Maybe lounge by the pool.
Take another shot at the twins.
Yes.
I'm sorry that's been so...
- unproductive lately.
- Mm-hmm.
[workers chattering]
We're rushing is why.
You said it was his own fault.
Sure he's a dumb f*ck,
but a rushing dumb f*ck is worse.
I don't trust her, Jack.
Her? [stammers]
Well, then don't let her walk your dog.
She's the boss now.
Weren't you the boss once?
Like when I signed on for this?
Hey. You spent the last 20 years
being afraid. Try something new.
Skip the pep talk.
I'll just shut my mouth and do my job.
Sure. That'll help.
I'll see if this grows him a new leg.
Look, Mr. Porter, Mr. Nichols, and
Miss Stedman all knew nothing about it.
They didn't know a thing. And of course,
I quit as soon as I found out, but, um...
Well, we knew nothing about the launch.
Rest assured,
informants are granted exemption
from prosecution.
[exhales sharply] Your county thanks you.
It was all Jack.
And if you need me to testify,
I don't mind saying it to his face.
I'm afraid spoken testimony
will prove insufficient to convict.
The case requires further "edivence."
I'll do whatever you need.
- How long will he go to jail?
- [scoffs]
That's the court's discretion,
but if he really intends
to put innocent customers in harm's way,
we can't dismiss the "pobbisility"
of life in prison.
Fine. Good.
[Jack] You know, Pops,
it's like the words all broke.
Said 'em too many times.
They just don't work anymore.
[scoffs]
Trust me. We're gonna make it.
Tomorrow's the day.
You ever had that?
Ah.
You f*cking coward.
[scoffs]
And I fell right into your trap, huh?
Selling myself that I'd be somebody.
Whole lot to g*dd*mn live up to.
[breathes heavily]
I couldn't do it. [sighs]
- I'm sorry.
- No way.
You got back in the car
with a handless gimp, Shirley.
That means a lot.
Yeah, the kind of money we need
he'd lose the house and...
I get it. He's your husband. Please.
No.
I told him I was leaving.
For good.
You're sh1tting me.
It just came out.
[chuckles] And he hardly blinked.
I've seen him more worked up
when someone stands in front of the TV.
Shirley, he never deserved you.
- [moans, inhales deeply]
- Mmm. [kisses]
- [yelps] Ow! f*ck! f*ck!
- [gasps, groans]
- [breathing deeply] Oh.
- You okay?
- No! [scoffs, chuckles]
- Mmm. [chuckles]
[both laughing]
Oh, God, Shirley. Let's just beg Jack
to get us on the next launch, huh?
We'll be safe on the moon.
What?
[stammers] How can I be the only one
raising my hand with ideas here?
Look, Ed,
I should've told you this sooner but...
[inhales deeply]
What?
There's nothing up there.
What?
No houses.
No Brightside.
Jack played us.
Are you actually telling me
what you just told me?
Yeah. He's a f*cking monster.
[inhales sharply]
Yeah, very possible, but, um,
that does not exclude him
from being a bankable f*cking genius.
[chuckles] Wow.
I've been pretty pissed he lied.
Of course, but, uh, that doesn't stop us
from making him an honest liar
and giving us our piece, right?
And if he f*cking blinks,
we hold him
over a f*cking blackmail barrel
till we're f*cking rich.
Right?
[ViddiCon chimes]
Message received. 8:05 a.m.
Jackie, I'm worried. Joey's in bad shape.
You need to do something.
I'm afraid he wants to get you in trouble.
Don't lie to yourself
about what he's after. Call me!
[ViddiCon chimes] New message.
Hi, Jack. So, listen, about
the game tonight, I, um...
I'm in.
[chuckles]
And stop.
No need for further functionality.
Tape capacity is 62 minutes.
And position yourself away from
"amfclified" music and heavy machinery.
Are you ready?
I've been waiting for this my whole life.
Not sure I understand.
You're doing the right thing, Mr. Shorter.
[baseball announcer] Tonight's game
is brought to you by
the good people
of the Brightside Lunar Residences.
Welcome to Volts Park,
home of your Vistaville Volts.
[Joey] Jack.
[chuckles] Hey.
Hey, this is something, isn't it?
Right? Being down here, right?
Yeah.
Hey, I just hope, though,
whatever is between us,
we can drop it for the night
- so you can enjoy the game, okay?
- [breathing shakily] Okay, um,
I was thinking maybe
we could talk for a minute first?
Oh.
Okay.
Well, let's, uh, see what we can do.
And I don't want a sales pitch, all right?
I want straight answers.
'Course.
You gotta ask the questions first, though.
I wanna know
if you've ever built anything up there.
Or if you've ever tried.
There's no Brightside, right? No houses?
[Jack smacks lips, inhales deeply]
Hey, think fast.
[exhales sharply]
[smacks lips]
We're a little rusty.
And that's on me, backyard catch and all.
- Hey, Jack. Um, you know, I've...
- Nah.
Don't worry about it.
If that thing is still running,
why don't you take a seat?
[Jack sighs]
So, there's nothing up there, Joe.
Not yet.
I got plans.
I'm gonna have the money, but...
N-No, Jack. No.
It's too late to pretend
that this can get better.
Are you sure?
That sounds like a tough way to live.
You're sending people up there, Jack.
That's more than anyone can live with.
I wouldn't do that.
Sure.
You don't believe me, you got everything
you need to stop me there, right?
You just say whatever you want.
Pal, you don't have to trust me.
- But I know I trust you.
- [whispers] Stop it.
- And I care about you.
- [breathing shakily]
And g*dd*mn, that...
It beats being hopeless.
We were doing fine without you.
You know?
When I showed up,
you were a stock boy dreaming
about running away to the moon.
g*dd*mn it, Jack, why did you leave us?
[sighs]
I was terrified...
that I would be a disappointment to you.
[chuckles] That's a sh*t reason, I know.
But maybe one day you'll have a son
and see for yourself.
[sighs]
You got everything you need there?
I think they're waiting for us.
[crowd cheering]
I'm not gonna go out there with you, Jack.
[whispers] Good for you, kid.
Good for you.
[baseball announcer] And now,
throwing out the first pitch
for the Vistaville Volts,
from the Brightside Lunar Residences,
- Jack Billings.
- [crowd cheering]
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01x09 - Certain Forces Once Unleashed
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In a retrofuturistic world, a huckster named Jack Billings runs a small business of traveling salesmen who go door to door (on Earth) selling timeshares on the moon.
In a retrofuturistic world, a huckster named Jack Billings runs a small business of traveling salesmen who go door to door (on Earth) selling timeshares on the moon.