01x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

SVETLANA: So excited to be here

in your beautiful country.

- I just want to say

- (INDISTINCT CLAMOUR)

MICK: I can help you tell your story.

That's what I do well.

Svetlana still looked better

than the other contestants.

Let's go.

JUDY: I thought you wanted to look

snazzy for Rosemary's street party.

A hundred and fifty years of settlement.

Flaming party.

BILYA:

Is that meant to be that prick Stirling?

Bilya, not now.

Everything okay, Tilly?

This blackfella here bothering you?

SANDY: (IN VIETNAMESE)

This is our plan, to get to the Moon.

It's your dream, not mine.

JONO: Mia, that was weird, wasn't it?

Us, the kiss. So we don't do it again?

And we don't talk about it again.

And I’ve got a foot and a half waiting

for you in my panel van when I get back.

Get out of the way!

(WAVES CRASHING)

You could've walked out

and crossed the line with me.

You could've told me

the roof over our head was threatened.

You get a promotion, and the first thing

you did was take my bloody life away.

- (CAR ENGINE REVVING)

- (HORN BLOWING)

(CAR APPROACHING)

Can you take me and my friends

to the city?

- MAN: Sure.

- MIA: Guys, come on.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(METAL THUDS)

(MIA CHEERING)

(CHUCKLES)

(IN DEEP VOICE) Hello. It's

Fred, with your grog delivery.

(LAUGHTER)

- I'm outside at the back. Okay, bye.

- (RECEIVER CLATTERS)

- He's coming. Oh, my goodness.

- (POPPY CHUCKLES)

- Go, go, go!

- No, come on! Get out!

Go, go!

Go, go, go!

- (POPPY CHUCKLES)

- (BILYA CHUCKLES)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)

- You've got an image problem.

- He will help.

Just because you buy him drinks,

does not mean you can buy me.

You can buy anything when you win.

They don’t have what you have.

But they connect. They seem nice.

It makes them approachable, memorable.

But we can do better.

- How?

- Create a moment.

We separate you from the pack

so that you can shine.

For me or for you?

We can help each other.

Tomorrow night there's gonna be

street parties all over Perth.

Part of the 150th celebrations.

I know where one might be happening.

No stage, no other contestants.

Just you, connecting with real people.

I’ll film it. We’ll make a moment.

BARTENDER: Hey, Larry. Larry!

- That kid's stealing drinks.

- LARRY: Which one?

- BARTENDER: That boy! Asian kid.

- LARRY: Him?

- BARTENDER: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, my God. Come on! Come on!

- (MIA CHUCKLES)

- (GLASS SHATTERS)

LARRY: Hey!

MIA: Keep going. Go on! Go on!

MICK: Mia!

- MIA: Give me a boost. (GRUNTS)

- (JONO GRUNTS)

(MIA CHUCKLES)

JONO: (SHUSHES, CHUCKLES)

Tell Tilly I'll see her at deb practice.

MIA: Yeah, right. (CHUCKLES)

(GROANS)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES)

NEWS REPORTER:

Perth is abuzz with anticipation

as citizens prepare to celebrate

Western Australia's 150th anniversary.

Many parties are prepared around Perth,

with a parade planned down the esplanade.

Get there early for the best seats.

And that's it for today's news.

For now, enjoy the sounds

of The Spinners and their funky track

"The Rubberband Man."

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING)

(EXHALES)

(YAWNS)

EILEEN: Bilya! Wake up!

- JUDY: Kids, time to get up.

- MIA: Unlikely.

JUDY: There’s polony sandwiches

on the bench for your lunch

and biscuits in the tin.

And if I find out

you didn't make your first class,

it'll be the last time

I make you breakfast.

Do not touch the cake.

It's for the party tonight.

- MIA: Do we have to go?

- (SCOFFS)

Rosemary needs you to serve

finger food at 5:30.

(GROANS)

Mia, what you been doing? This stinks.

- Bags first shower.

- JUDY: Hey!

Hey. Don't forget,

your uniform's in the laundry.

Ugh, what?

Tills?

You better take better care

of your things.

- Sweetheart?

- TILLY: I don't I don’t feel well.

(SIGHS)

(OIL SIZZLING)

What's going on?

Why aren’t you at the fish market?

We're not going to work today.

- But it's Friday.

- We're making food for the street party.

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)

- (CUTLERY CLINKING)

Hello?

(IN VIETNAMESE)

Australians like sausages, not tofu.

They say, "Don’t like shark, mate."

But everyone eats flake all the time.

Same thing.

(SNORES, GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

If you want a lift, I’m going now!

Ah! Yeah, no. You’re all good, Rose.

No need to knock.

Eileen, I just wanted to catch you

before you went out for the day.

We need to go over a few details

for the street party

as I’ve just had a very exciting call.

Now, you know that you're putting out

chairs in the first instance,

and then I've got you down

for serving punch.

I'll get onto it straightaway,

as soon as I get home from work.

ROSEMARY: I trust that you won't

be planning anything political.

It’s a family affair.

There’ll be cameras.

- And maybe the next Miss Universe.

- Oh.

- Thanks, Rose. See ya.

- ROSEMARY: See you later.

- PAM: Hooroo!

- Hooroo.

(THUDDING)

WAYNE: sh*t!

(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)

Fran, we need those delivery invoices.

- Got it.

- Great, thanks.

We don't get these out, we're gonna have

power cuts right through the weekend.

Should I let him know

where Tam hid the Alka-Seltzer?

Much obliged, Frannie. Much obliged.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SNIFFLES)

How much longer for those budget recs

you promised me?

All those street parties tonight

are going to need power, princess.

Well, I put them on your desk

yesterday at lunch.

Saw your daughter

last night at Hannibal’s.

- What?

- Yeah. You know, the younger one.

The the looker.

Believe me, hooley dooley,

everyone was looking.

Her dancing like that, all made up.

- (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

- Excuse me.

- (GLASS THUDS)

- (GRUNTS, GAGS)

(CHUCKLES)

Serves you right, you little sh*t.

(TRAFFIC WHIZZING)

(SIGHS)

(GROANS)

Who's that?

Russell.

But you can't

You you can't bring someone home

while I’m here.

You're a deep sleeper.

Remember how you'd sleep

right through the first shearing shift

when we were kids? God knows how.

(GROANS)

Can’t you just get over all this?

Get married, have a family?

Why? So I can start buying Tupperware

and stop having sex?

It's not normal. This

lifestyle.

If you don’t like it,

you can always find another hotel.

TONY: Yeah.

There's something

seriously wrong with you.

- Jesus Christ. The entire clan! Welcome!

- Your 16-year-old niece

was at a nightclub last night

that I know you were at.

- What?

- Look, I saw her but then she left

before I could grab her.

- See ya.

- Your other daughter’s at home sick,

- by the way.

- (TONY GROANS)

JUDY:

And thanks for ringing to let us know

where you've been for the past few days.

TONY: You don't seem to have had

much trouble tracking me down.

You know what? You're just lucky

that my dad doesn't know where you are.

Bet old Bob loved hearing

how I turned out to be

the loser he always pegged me to be.

He doesn't know

because I didn't tell him.

But if you think people

aren't gonna start talking

when they notice that you're not at home,

taking care of your family like a man.

I mean, they're gonna draw

their own conclusions. I can't help you.

Being made redundant

doesn't make you a loser, Tony.

Deserting your family

because you’re sulking about it does.

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

(SIGHS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

JUDY: Mia!

Mia!

Mia!

Sorry if my wife woke you.

She’s not usually like that.

I don't know, man.

She seemed pretty f*cking cool.

You know your brother’s jealous

of you, right?

(SCOFFS) What? He said that?

RUSSELL: The combined force

of two is greater than one.

He says you you've got it on tap.

- Enough?

- TONY: Yeah.

(DOOR LOCK CLICKS)

You're wagging school no bloody more.

Give it to me!

- MIA: Not happening!

- (DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

You think you can just do

whatever you want, whenever you want,

- and that's how your life's gonna work?

- Well, you did and you turned out fine.

You know what, Mia?

- You could make a mistake!

- Like you did!

I know Tilly was born less

than nine months after you got married.

And I’m no math's genius,

- but I know what that means.

- (DOOR CLOSES)

TONY: Enough.

Your room.

Now, Mia.

You wanna wag,

talk to your mother like that?

No more driving lessons.

Glad you popped by, Dad.

- ROSEMARY: Judy?

- (KNOCKS ON DOOR)

ROSEMARY: Yoo-hoo!

- I don’t expect you've had time to do

- It’s done.

The cake, it’s in

the kitchen. It's done.

(GASPS)

Oh! Well, aren’t you Wonder Woman.

Come on, Pam. Let's go.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Well done, Judy. Well done. (CHUCKLES)

ROSEMARY: Tony!

Tony! I've found five of them.

When the ladies arrive,

your job is to keep them dry.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ROSEMARY: Pam!

Oh! Ah! How wonderful!

I thought Captain

Stirling should be here.

If he hadn’t found Perth,

we’d have nothing to celebrate.

Oh, Poppy! Look, he brought your bust!

- (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY)

- Well, I didn’t know you made it.

- Yeah, we all had to make one in art.

- ROSEMARY: Yes, but yours was the best.

The others were just worse.

- Hmm. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- Bilya?

- Hmm?

- What are you doing with that?

Mr Williamson gave me a loan.

I told him all

about the party for the 150th,

and he thought it'd be good if we sent

something from school in support.

- Especially seeing there’ll be cameras.

- ROSEMARY: Bilya! Come.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

What a strange country.

To celebrate a street.

(CHUCKLES)

(BIRD CHIRPS)

- Ooh! It don't look good.

- (THUNDER RUMBLING)

(WATER RIPPLING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

What’s up with you two?

She dobbed.

Told Mum I was out last night.

How do you know?

Why else would she be acting

like a Martian ice queen?

- Oh! What do you call those?

- Uh, sausages.

Yeah?

Ah, not bad.

JONO: Sausages.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, CHEERING)

- TONY: Welcome to Scarborough.

- MISS ITALY: Ciao.

MICK: They're round the other side.

What the f*ck?

Go, go, go.

- Ugh. sh*t! We missed it.

- (CROWD CHEERING)

- TONY: Buongiorno.

- MISS ITALY: Ciao.

Ciao, buonanotte.

Uh, that's all that's all I know.

Miss Italy, please, try it!

It’s an old family recipe.

I thought it might remind you of home.

- (CHUCKLES)

- Sì.

(IN ITALIAN)

(APPLAUSE)

Oh, um, she said they're her favourite,

but she's watching her figure.

Oh, never mind.

All right, just head over

and grab yourselves a drink.

JUDY: Oh, just in time.

- MISS ITALY: Hi.

- You look lovely.

- MISS ITALY: Grazie.

- EILEEN: There you go.

- Prego.

- MISS ITALY: Prego, sì.

Nice.

- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

- JUDY: Well, you scrub up all right.

- EILEEN: Trying to impress someone?

- If you’re trying, you’re not impressing.

- (JUDY CHUCKLES)

Sandy made it especially for him.

EILEEN: Best seamstress in Scarborough.

Miracle worker.

MICK: You're right about that.

- EILEEN: Try some fairy bread.

- JUDY: Here you go, Mick.

EILEEN: It's a local favourite.

It's good.

- Hello.

- JUDY: Hello.

- EILEEN: Hi.

- JUDY: Welcome!

- Thank you.

- JUDY: There you go.

- JUDY: Spasiba?

- Spasiba, yes. (CHUCKLES)

- Spasiba.

- (CHUCKLES)

(GASPS) Oh, my gosh. What is his name?

- Snowflake.

- Snowflake. Oh, he would love Russia.

FEMALE VOICE 1: So she leaves

those poor girls at home,

makes herself the boss,

and then can you believe she fired him?

Imagine that. Your own wife.

FEMALE VOICE 2:

Strewth, wouldn't try that with Doug.

Hey. In another hour you can say

you’ve done your bit

and this hell will be over.

Least the barbecue will be.

I lost everything once.

Brought me here.

Best thing that ever happened to me.

PAM: Right, Tony.

How many sausages do we have?

TONY: Uh What? Four dozen.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (CLICKS TONGUE)

- Bob, can I talk to you?

- Aye.

We found Van.

He’s in a refugee camp in Malaysia.

BOB: Oh, you and you talked to him?

No. A woman who worked there,

she called me.

We don’t know if it’s real.

I can check with some

of my old colleagues,

but if it wasn’t the Department

of Immigration calling you,

he’s not gonna be on their radar.

You can lodge a report, but by the time

the paperwork goes through,

he could well have been moved.

- Listen, there are back-channel ways.

- No.

(IN VIETNAMESE)

There's a Malaysian bloke I know of.

He had contacts in the camps.

He may be able to help,

but he'll charge you.

How much?

I’ll give him a call.

Okay. Thank you, Bob.

(DOOR CLOSES)

BOB: Psst.

EILEEN: Do not distract me.

Rosemary’s very particular

about what goes into the punch.

Only the cheapest booze.

- BOB: That’d explain it.

- (CHUCKLES)

Tell me I look good.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You look real flash.

- (GLASS CLINKING)

- Missing a button, but

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

(SIGHS)

- MICK: She's in here somewhere.

- TILLY: (CHUCKLES) Where?

(SQUEALS) Is it true? Is it true?

Were you really a cosmonaut? Hi

Hi. Tilly Bissett.

It’s an honour to meet you.

I want to be a cosmonaut

Well, an astronaut like, uh, Tereshkova.

- Do you know Valentina Tereshkova?

- You.

- You want to go to the Moon?

- TILLY: Uh, yeah.

What spacecraft did you train for?

- Was it the Vostok?

- Why would you want that?

Well, I’ve got a plan.

Right now I’m up to step 28

- Yeah, well, it will not happen.

- What?

SVETLANA:

Um. Average only.

You know, not not excellent.

For performance

and physical condition in flight.

Well, that’s not true.

SVETLANA:

Well, it was the official report.

Well, one woman isn’t a sample group.

They’re gonna have to send more

to get an accurate reading.

No, no, no. They said, you know,

women will now not go to space.

I don’t agree. No way.

Better at becoming beauty queens. Huh?

You know, less vomiting.

And then your hair is not ruined

by that silly little helmet. (GROANS)

Sorry.

You didn’t have to do that.

I know you're angry with me,

but she’s just a kid.

SVETLANA: (CLICKS TONGUE)

I was just telling her the truth.

I wish you'd have showed me

the same respect,

not bringing all of the other girls.

Well, that's not gonna work, mate.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

POPPY:

You could do a couple of other ones.

I'll come to Europe, and ask them

to make another one and recreate

It's stopped raining!

- ROSEMARY: Rocco!

- POPPY: Dad!

- Dad!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Where have you been? You promised.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Rocco!

Hey, babe,

I had to park on Curlew Crescent.

Yeah, but we closed the street

at 3:00 p.m.

- ROCCO: I didn't know that.

- I told you.

- Just go get changed.

- ROCCO: I'm gonna get changed now.

Come on, let's go.

Come down here. Easy, darling.

- You're getting good at this.

- POPPY: (CHUCKLES) Thank you.

- ROCCO: Off you go. Well done. Be careful.

- YVGENY: You are police?

- Yeah?

- ROCCO: Yeah.

We are visitors from

the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

When we arrived here,

we were made to feel,

how you say? "Shithouse."

Perhaps you heard of the protest.

Ah! That was a couple of idiots

at the airport, wasn’t it?

In our country things are different.

Crime is punished with jail.

- Perhaps execution.

- This is Australia, you know?

Relax, have a beer. Okay?

- POPPY: Watch out. (CHUCKLES)

- YVGENY: Hey, you've got some lipstick

on your hand.

From this.

Not the same colour as your wife.

- Oh!

- (CHUCKLES) I miss nothing.

Women miss nothing.

Women can do damage, don’t you know?

Worse than execution.

You know what?

Have a couple of beers, okay?

(METAL THUDS)

Mia, be careful.

- Mia, be careful. Be careful.

- MIA: I'm good. (CHUCKLES)

- (THUDS)

- (GLASS CLINKING)

- Mia, stop. Stop.

- (CHUCKLES)

Calm down.

- Calm down? (CHUCKLES)

- Calm down. (CHUCKLES)

Stop.

Mia, don't.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(LADDER THUDS)

- JONO: Mia.

- (GRUNTS)

Hey!

Mia! Tilly!

Can you girls go in and get the cake?

Now? Both of you, be careful.

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)

- What is your problem?

- TILLY: You just take everything you want.

- Like what?

- (SCOFFS) Like what? My homework.

- My bracelet.

- (MIA SCOFFS)

(EXHALES) You shouldn’t have kissed him.

He's my best friend.

(SCOFFS)

- Did you bring the cake?

- Don't give a sh*t.

- Oh, um

- Where's the cake?

MIA: I'm going to Grandad's.

Oh, I’ll go get my backup cake, shall I?

It’s not a problem.

It is bigger. (CHUCKLES)

- (SCOFFS) Don’t be a pill, Pam!

- (CUTLERY CLINKING)

- (SCOFFS) Excuse me. Excuse me.

- (FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)

MICK: Just stay on her. Stay on her.

- Beautiful.

- Thank you.

(CAN POPS)

MAN 1: Come on, let's get on the news.

MAN 2: No.

MISS CANADA: f*ck! That hit my head!

MISS ITALY: (IN ITALIAN)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(ALL CHEER)

get my hair ruined,

because she gets It's just not fair.

You want to try? Here. Ready?

(ALL CHEER)

Well done!

WOMAN: Well done!

(MUSIC FADES)

(SWING MUSIC PLAYING)

(MUNCHES) Mmm.

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(SMACKS LIPS)

- (INDISTINCT CLAMOUR)

- (SIGHS)

BOY 1:

Fire, fire! Everybody, there's a fire!

(INDISTINCT CLAMOUR)

- Oh, no. Fire!

- (CROWD GASPS)

ROSEMARY: Our Stirling's on fire!

Poppy! Look.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ROCCO: Come on, kids.

Get away from the fire.

Power's gone.

Come on, time to go. Everyone

Okay, party's over, everyone.

Let's go! Everyone, home.

- (DOOR CLOSES)

- Come on, home. Everyone, home.

Come on. No, you gotta go.

There's no power!

Come on, get out of here.

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

(SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING)

- Good job.

- (CHUCKLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES, FADES)

(LICKS LIPS)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- Can’t blame me for this one.

- JUDY: Hmm.

Thought it might go well with cake.

- (JUDY CHUCKLES, SIGHS)

- I nicked it from Rose.

- Think she was saving it for Miss Italy.

- (JUDY SIGHS)

But she turned out to be

an even bigger snob than her.

If that’s even possible.

Well

(SMACKS LIPS) Anything is possible.

(GULPS)

Cheers.

- Hmm.

- JUDY: Hmm.

- TONY: Hmm. Hmm.

- JUDY: Hmm. (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES)

- (JUDY SNORTS)

- TONY: Look at your face. (CHUCKLES)

(JUDY SCREAMS, CHUCKLES)

- (FIRE CRACKLING)

- (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

(WAVES SPLASHING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER)

- Hey! Give it back!

- CHOOK: Come get it, come get it.

- Have a look at the rig on that one.

- MIA: Give it back!

CHOOK: Figured you owe me a board.

- KENNO: Come here, love. Come on.

- MIA: Come on, please. Give it

- MIA: Give it back. Please.

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

CHOOK: Don't be dull.

MIA: Please give it Hey! Give it

Please give it back.

Give it back, please! Don't

No, please. Please don't.

- Please give it back. Please (PANTS)

- (MOCKING) Please give it back.

CHOOK: Get off the floor, darling.

KENNO: Staying for one, babe?

- Where you going?

- Where you going, darling?

We were just having some fun!

(PANTS)

(KEYS JINGLING)

- JONO: Mia, what

- What are you doing?

- JONO: What are you doing?

- (CAR DOOR CLICKS)

- MIA: Just get in.

- JONO: What is

- MIA: Just get in.

- Hey.

- CHOOK: Boys

- JONO: But you can't even drive.

- MIA: Watch me.

- (DOOR SLAMS)

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)

- Go, go, go, go!

- CHOOK: Get away from my car.

- MIA: I'm trying!

- JONO: Hurry up!

- They're coming.

- CHOOK: Hey!

- Hey! Get out of the car!

- Hey!

- Hey! Stop the car!

- JONO: Lock the doors.

- Stop the car!

- Get out of the car!

CHOOK: Hey, open up.

- What's first? Where's first?

- JONO: Go! Go, go!

MIA: I don't know

how to drive this thing!

JONO: Go!

- Hey!

- Hey!

JONO: Hey! Steady on!

- Get out of the car!

- Oi, dickhead!

CHOOK: Get out of

the car! Hey! Hey, hey!

(INDISTINCT CLAMOUR)

CHOOKI: You're dead!

Do you hear me? You're dead!

(TYRES SCREECHING)

JONO: Take it easy. You're going

too fast. They're gone. Slow down.

- Mia, turn!

- MIA: I'm trying!

- JONOl Try a bit harder.

- MIA: I'm trying!

- (TYRES SCREECHING)

- (CRASHES)

- JUDY: (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God.

- (TOM CHUCKLES)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

(THEME SONG CONCLUDES)