01x05 - Revenge of Les Dames

[bunniefuu]

[guests whooping]

[Eric] Turn on the music!

Call me Magic Mike.

[Lisa Vanderpump] Previously, on

Vanderpump Villa

- [whip cracking]

- [guests whooping]

[Harlan]

Oh, my God.

[Telly]

Eric is so unprofessional,

and he's my [bleep] manager.

[overlapping goodbyes]

Au revoir!

[Lisa Vanderpump]

Whatever you did,

they loved both of you.

That's what Chateau

Rosabelle is about.

- [snaps fingers]

- Fire!

- Thank you.

- [Priscila] Thank you.

[whispering] I'm the shepherd

of the flock.

Our next guest of honor,

it's Lauren's bachelorette.

I did bring my fiancé.

That is a little unorthodox.

We were hanging out,

and then you just stopped.

- I've been booked and busy.

- But that's an excuse.

Should we leave?

This is personal. Like

[Eric] Let's have this

frickin' party kick off.

There we go! Why not baby?

When in France.

[Anthony] I'm trying to

make elegant food,

and this kind of behavior

is not acceptable for me.

You do that in any other restaurant,

you get fired for that.

We are not a nightclub,

you know?

You're kitchen and we're table.

We're doing what

[speaker] Marciano has

a question still.

"Who do you think

does not deserve to be here?"

[tense, suspenseful

music playing]

Oh, my God. [bleep] Marciano.

[Dramatic music playing]

Your comment about the chefs

was disgusting.

- [Marciano] I could've said you.

- Say me.

- But, I could've said you.

- But saying them, are you on crack?

I would love to see Marciano

get the [bleep] out of here.

[Marciano] You're [bleep] 23 years old,

you're a little [bleep] brat.

And you're 30 years old

acting like

- [Marciano] You're a spoiled brat.

- a piece of sh*t!

[Intriguing theme

music playing]

♪♪

- [Dramatic music playing]

- [Marciano] You're a spoiled brat.

[Grace]

God, I [bleep] hate him.

- Ooh, I can't stand him, girl.

- [Emily] Sit right here, sit right here.

- Sit right here.

- Ooh I [bleep] hate him.

- Ooh I [bleep] hate him.

- [Telly] Who? Who? Who?

- Marciano.

- Marciano can suck my [bleep].

[Hannah]

What happened?

[Grace]

I love you so much,

but the man you have

connected to,

is a piece of sh*t.

[Hannah]

What did he do?

He was talking sh*t about chefs

when they were back there,

slaving away,

working their a*s off,

pouring their love into it.

And then right now, he's back at the bar

taking every bottle,

and Andre's like,

"You know what, bro?"

- Like, "Do what you want."

- [Hannah] Oh, my God.

"Hannah! Hannah!"

I thought someone died

in the backyard.

[mocking] "Hannah. Hannah.

I hate him. I hate him."

I'm like, "What the

[bleep] just happened?"

I have to say Marciano,

honestly, I will defend him.

I know his heart and

I know who he is as a person.

Like, give him a second chance.

Like, let it go. It's done.

I do not care. I do not care.

I [bleep] cannot stand him.

I cannot stand him.

Okay, let's chill.

It's not a big deal.

[Dramatic music playing]

- I feel great.

- You know what? You said it.

- I feel great.

- You said it in such a nicer way

- than I would've.

- I feel great.

[Priscila] I'm so proud

of Grace right now,

because my girl literally

speak up, told the truth,

and just said what was

on her mind to Marciano,

and his ego just got hurt.

[Grace]

[bleep] him dude, [bleep] him.

[Lauren] Everyone

[bleep] needs it.

[Marciano] Come on, let's go.

[Lauren] If you say no,

you're not

the Gayle that I know.

[Gayle] No, [bleep] off.

Shut the [bleep] up.

[liquor pouring]

[Marciano] It feels like

everyone's pissed off at me.

And I'm just kinda like,

"I'm gonna slam this bottle,

"and I'm gonna probably regret

everything I do after that.

But all I know is I'm gonna black out,

and it's not gonna matter."

[Gabriella]

Oh, my God, no.

[Brett]

On my head.

[Gayle and Marciano kissing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Dramatic music playing]

[Gabriella]

Oh, my God, no! [bleep].

Marciano is

[bleep] kissing a guest.

And I see that he

is the initiator.

Immediately I'm uncomfortable,

I don't know what to do.

I walk away.

[Hannah]

What the [bleep] is going on?

- [Gabriella sighs]

- [Hannah] What?

- [Telly] Okay.

- [Gabriella] I don't wanna do this.

No, just say it. Just say it.

- [guests chattering]

- There she is! There she is! Nah!

[Hannah] So, am I being,

like, set up right now?

- No. Come here. Come here.

- [dramatic classical music playing]

- Come on.

- [Telly] Come here, come here.

[Hannah]

[bleep] Are you kidding me?

♪♪

Wait, no. What the [bleep]? No.

What is going on?

♪♪

[sniffles, sobs]

[Music intensifies]

He's a piece of sh*t.

Who just does that?

Who the [bleep] just does that?

No, I'm pissed.

I've been [bleep] sticking up

for him with everybody.

Everyone's been like,

"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah."

And he's out there [bleep]

making out with somebody else?

Is this Bravo, [clapping]

like, okay, who's this [cries]

- I'm sorry.

- [Hannah sobs]

[Priscila]

I feel bad for Hannah,

because it triggers me

the way he like, you know,

acts towards her,

because I've been there,

and no woman deserves

to be treated like that.

Hannah had a problem with Telly,

Hannah had a problem with me

because of Marciano.

Isn't that like a common

denominator?

Who is the problem?

Marciano.

- [Dramatic crescendo, music ends]

- What the [bleep]?!

What is going on?! [sobs]

[crying] I feel like

I've had his back and, like,

held back, like, being myself

'cause I was so worried

about what he would think.

- [Tense music playing]

- [Lauren] You're in trouble. Okay?

- Good luck to you.

- No! Why? Why would you say that?

I feel like I'm, like,

a piece of meat.

Like, you know,

like dirt on the floor to him.

I'm so shocked.

- I'm in shock.

- [Telly] He's a [bleep] idiot.

- I'm in shock right now.

- I literally

- [Telly] [bleep]

- I'm in shock right now.

He is lit Like,

I thought people

in this world could be dumb,

but there's a new level

of dumb and that's him.

I feel like she rides

for her "man"

so much, and he just shits on her

all day every day.

I've been sticking up

for him with everybody.

She's been dealing with this

shitty-a*s man for three years.

[Hannah] What the [bleep]

is wrong with him?

[Priscila]

That's really [bleep] up.

He's a selfish, empty, weak man.

That's what they do.

They don't respect the

people that they love.

If "They claim

that they love."

Wait, I feel like I'm so pretty.

I don't understand.

- [Dramatic music playing]

- [Telly] You don't deserve that.

Everything that Grace said to you tonight,

is that she loves you,

- she you're funny, you're

- She was like

And I was like, "Oh,

he has a good heart."

- [Telly] He sees that.

- Like, everyone sees Wow, wow.

At this point, Marciano

is making

a complete and utter

fool of himself.

The whole entire staff,

in the kitchen,

housekeepers,

and now Hannah,

everyone's pissed.

It kills me on the inside

to know that

she puts up with somebody

that's literally nowhere

on her level.

Done, like, [bleep]

wipe your [bleep] hands.

[crying] Is this a joke?

[Epic music playing]

[Hannah] I'm breaking out so bad

from putting makeup

on all the time.

It's gonna be really awkward.

What went down last night

with Marciano,

that was a [bleep] low blow.

It was. It was a hit.

But today, the guests

are leaving,

so, um, I just don't wanna

give my housemates

anymore drama from

Marciano and I,

so I'm trying to

keep it cordial.

[Telly] You're a ray of sunshine

in the morning.

I am, especially this morning.

[Telly]

Last night was just

like, I-I'm not one to, like,

make people feel isolated,

but like, they isolated

themselves.

Honestly, like, I don't love

conducting myself

in the way that

I did last night.

Um, but after the

whole thing with Andre

I'm into you.

[Grace] Mm! I just embarrassed

the [bleep] outta myself.

It definitely felt good

to give it to Marciano,

and just, like,

tell him that he's arrogant,

that he's an as*h*le,

that he's a piece of sh*t.

So this might be good,

because that's what I

told Hannah right now.

It's like, sh Hannah

had a problem with her.

Hannah had a problem with me.

Hannah had a problem with Gabriella,

because of him.

So now it's time to

turn around the tables,

and get this sh*t together

and then us getting together.

So [bleep] off, because now

I'm really actually [bleep] mad.

[chuckles] Marciano,

you're a piece of sh*t.

Get the [bleep] out. Go home.

[Dramatic music playing]

[Anthony]

The guests are leaving today.

So for this last breakfast,

it's very traditional French,

peaches,

figs, a lot of fruit,

yogurt, pancakes.

And hopefully they're

gonna like it.

[Music ends]

That's a problem, I feel like

everybody like to party,

but they don't know

where to stop.

Marciano drunk? Yeah.

I will better talk to the donkey

- [donkey brays]

- than Marciano drunk.

I expecting to get hired,

like, for be a chef,

not a babysitter, you know?

[snoring]

But, another day in paradise.

[Upbeat music playing]

[Stephen] Morning.

[indistinct chatter]

- Good morning. Morning.

- [Brett] Good morning.

- [Hannah] Morning.

- [Brett] How are you?

[Hannah] Good.

- [Plucky music playing]

- Yes, I do serve this girl breakfast.

I'm not pissed at the girl.

I'm pissed at Marciano.

So, I think that's growth.

I'm representing Lisa

at the end of the day,

and I don't wanna let her down.

- [Brett] Hey Hannah.

- Yeah?

Can I also get an

iced Americano?

- Of course.

- Thank you.

[Dramatic, suspenseful

music playing]

[Eric] Alright everyone,

pardon the interruption.

- So I have an announcement.

- [Lauren] Yep.

- The comment card.

- [Brett] Oh.

[guests chatter]

I'm gonna let you two

do the honors.

- Okay.

- It's for you two to do the honors.

I am really worried

about the comment card today,

because it's so important

to Lisa's business.

Marciano kissed a guest

and I've been on

thin ice before,

and I don't know

what they're gonna say.

"Did we tickle your fancy,

or was there more

to be desired?"

"We love Chef."

[guests laughing]

[Gayle] Let's just get

straight to the point.

[Lauren] Service staff.

Should I say, like, 4.5?

Here's more ice.

Sorry, it melted.

- [Brett] Thank you.

- Of course.

[Lauren] Because, like,

there was fighting.

- [Dramatic music playing]

- [Gayle] They fought all night last night.

I just feel like this was our

experience to enjoy together,

and there were moments where

it was more about them.

[Lauren] Yeah! I felt they were

literally on my trip.

- I thought they were on my bachelorette.

- Right, right.

- "The fighting took away"

- [Brett] Yeah.

"From a lot."

[Gayle]

Yeah, it was loud.

[Brett] I need a vacation

from the vacation.

The staff, they definitely

have their stuff.

Like, we definitely overheard

some arguments between them.

I know they're living here,

so it's tough to live

with your coworkers,

but I think some things

that happened last night

are borderline, just,

I mean just not okay.

- [Brett] Here's to Lauren!

- [Lauren] Cheers everyone.

- [guests cheer]

- [glasses clink]

Thank you so much for coming.

[Andre] You can take this one.

Yeah, you take this.

[Lisa] It's time to say goodbye to

Lauren's bachelorette party.

And the comment card is

actually very, very positive.

"Housekeeping staff,

8 million points.

We love Chef. Andre,

we'd take Andre with us."

No, you can't.

"They're literally

our best friends,

but they do fight a little."

But the most important note

on the whole comment card,

is they were up till 5:00 a.m.,

and there was some

arguing going on.

[Tense music playing]

- [Dramatic sting]

- I want to get to the bottom of this.

[alarm buzzing]

[overlapping goodbyes]

[laughs] I love you.

[alarm buzzing]

Oh, what the [bleep]?

[Lauren] I'm gonna

miss you guys so much.

Oh, did you have fun darling?

- [Lauren] I'm so sad to leave. [laughs]

- [Lisa] Oh God.

[Tense, dramatic

music playing]

What are you doing?

Where have you been?

- Thank you.

- Alright, you're welcome.

[Lisa] At Chateau Rosabelle,

the guest experience

is paramount.

- Where were you?

- [Marciano] I was running in.

Yeah, but all that, that's not where

you're supposed to be.

[Marciano] I know.

If they're delighted,

I'm delighted.

If they're disappointed, well,

they better watch out.

- My God, does your eye hurt?

- [Marciano] Yeah.

- Well, no, it's

- It looks like somebody hit you.

- I know.

- Geez.

Wave goodbye, put your smile on.

[staff] Bye!

[Lisa]

Let's go inside, come on.

- [Marciano] Oh sh*t.

- Yeah. Oh sh*t's about to happen.

Okay, let me take a minute.

Can you have Andre

come here please?

[Eric] You got it.

[knocking on door]

You're the one that normally

kinda keeps outta the fray.

Can you give me an

accurate depiction

of what happened last night?

[Dramatic, suspenseful

music playing]

I don't understand them

The writing.

"We didn't get to bed

till 5:00 a.m.,

because of screaming"?

Who was screaming, they were?

- I don't know, it was just

- You do know.

- [laughs] It was just

- You do know.

- [Dramatic sting]

- [nervous laugh]

Give it to mama. Come on. What?

Ah, well, Marciano.

Why was he upset?

'Cause I think he

kissed one of the guests, so

Marciano kissed one

of the guests?

I think. I think. I don't know.

Hannah knows?

Um

You know!

Uh, probably-probably so, yeah.

But I thought Marciano

and Hannah were together.

See, that's the thing.

Sometimes they're together,

sometimes they're not.

I don't know.

Wow.

I've worked too hard

on the Chateau and

all the details,

and curating the experiences.

There has to be consequences.

Okay. Well, thank you, Andre.

[Dramatic music playing]

[Lisa] Alright.

Firstly, I want to talk

about what went wrong.

[Dramatic sting]

Drinking, having fun,

I'm all about that.

But being aggressive,

not only is it not acceptable,

but I won't tolerate it.

Marciano, it wasn't acceptable.

- You know that.

- I know it was. It was terrible.

And I do think Marciano,

you should actually apologize

to everybody collectively now.

Because it was not

a good experience.

[whimpers]

Okay. [sighs]

Look at them all in the face.

I'm ex-extremely embarrassed

and humiliated from my actions.

I feel really terrible about how I

treated a lot of you people.

A lot of everyone, actually.

And I'm sorry.

I'm deeply, deeply sorry.

And I promise it won't

happen again.

I hope you can forgive me,

and if you can't, then I-I understand,

if some of you are

more upset than others.

I hope in your hearts

at some point,

I can try and at least

redeem myself with you.

[Pensive music playing]

Do we acknowledge his apology?

- No.

- [Lisa] Okay.

[Grace] I don't know

if Marciano would apologize

on his own outside of this.

He's just doing this because

he's being told to do it,

not because he actually

means it.

So, hopefully he will

apologize when he sees

that I've had enough time

to kind of calm down.

[Eric]

Forgive and forget.

[Hannah] Marciano's word

doesn't mean anything to anyone.

Actions speak louder than words.

He has to start to take

a step back in life,

and really realize his actions,

how they affect other people,

and stop thinking about

himself so much.

But we'll see. I don't know.

I think he will, maybe,

because Lisa will fire him.

So e-everything's on the line

for him right now.

Well, we have to move forward.

The good news is we have

a new guest of honor, Chízi.

[Upbeat music playing]

We have a wonderful

group of five single men,

and one woman,

coming to have a good time.

[staff cheering]

[Telly] The guys always

have a good time.

Now they get to do the work,

and we get to be the ones

that get to show off

our cute outfits,

and flirt with some cute guys.

We deserve to let our hair down,

and let our freak flag

fly high too.

Let the good times roll.

Let's run it up.

Why are you laughing at me?

Okay. [laughs]

You're welcome, ladies.

- [laughter]

- The girls are gonna be front and center,

looking gorgeous,

and having fun, okay.

Now it's actually a very

poignant story.

Chízi endured a devastating

car accident.

[Solemn music playing]

And his condition was so bad,

that they thought maybe

he would never walk again.

So he's back,

after intense physical therapy,

and he's nearly back

to his old self.

So, he's had this group

with him all the way,

and they've been there

to support him.

So they're here to celebrate,

to have a good time, okay?

[Gabriella]

That's wonderful.

They're going to do

booze and boules activity.

Boules, do we know

what that means?

ba*ls?

- [Plucky music playing]

- We're in France.

ba*ls? Like footballs, maybe?

No, boules.

You know, when you throw boules.

Bocce, Pétanque,

but we call it boules.

A roast and toast dinner.

Chef, you know all about that.

And girls, we can have

a lot of fun.

[Hannah]

All of us girls are excited,

because we've been stuck

in the same house with

a bunch of hooligans.

So yeah, we're excited to see

who's about to

step into this house.

[Lisa] Let's be really positive

and go forward. Okay?

- Alright?

- [staff] Yeah.

- [Eric] We're ready to go.

- [Marciano] Let's do it.

- [team clapping]

- [intense music playing]

At Chateau Rosabelle,

the guest experience

is paramount.

But once again, Marciano

created some problems.

It's time to talk to Marciano,

because he needs to understand

the severity of his actions.

Can you come in?

Close the door.

[Intense music continues]

Sometimes in a situation

like this,

it's not okay just

to casually say,

"Oh, I'm sorry." That's not

good enough in this case.

[Music ends]

You apologizing today

to the group

was very necessary.

But I've really thought

about it.

I'm kind of in the mode now,

preparing for our guests,

and your actions,

I just don't have the confidence

that I did have.

You are my lead server.

[Dramatic sting]

It hasn't affected my work.

It has not affected my work.

It has affected the work,

because it's affected the whole

dynamic between the group.

- [Dramatic music playing]

- And the whole point of this,

is for everybody to

have a good time,

and nobody's having a good time

because they're shaken up by it.

I'm thinking maybe Marciano

needs to be fired from his job,

because he needs to understand

that he's representing me.

Sometimes apologizing

isn't enough.

You have to have a consequence.

Um, I don't wanna be a

hassle anymore. I'm sorry.

Like, I-I genuinely meant

those apologies earlier.

So, you make the call.

- I'm gonna do whatever you want.

- [music ends]

If you work for me and

we were back home,

I would suspend you

for two weeks.

But unfortunately for me,

I need you here.

So, I don't want you

in the lineup.

I think you're bringing

the mood down.

I want you to work

back of house

[intense music playing]

In the kitchen,

under Chef's jurisdiction.

I don't want you to come out

until the last dish is cleaned.

And I want you to try

and redeem yourself.

I'm sorry.

When I let somebody down,

I beat myself up more

than you can ever imagine.

And, like, in the short of time,

I could tell Lisa counted on me,

and she relied on me,

and I let her down.

It's not acceptable.

I know.

I don't care if she needs me

to clean the [bleep] floors.

I don't care what

she asks of me,

to clean donkey sh*t

out [bleep] side.

I'm gonna do everything

I possibly can,

to impress Lisa Vanderpump.

Quite frankly,

you're getting off lightly.

I know I am.

And I'm very grateful.

- Go.

- Thank you. Thank you.

♪♪

No salt and pepper?

Or salt and pepper?

Salt and pepper. Always.

Seasoning.

♪♪

[Marciano] I don't think she's

gonna want to talk right now.

I'm grateful that Lisa has

given me another chance.

But I need to talk to Hannah

before the guests arrive.

And if she doesn't

forgive me, she doesn't.

But I wanna at least let her know

about how bad I feel.

♪♪

Hannah always has

Marciano's back.

It's actually very

disappointing.

But I think Hannah is

about to explode.

There was World w*r I,

there was World w*r II.

Now we're about to

experience World w*r 23.

[Dramatic crescendo]

[Marciano]

Do you want to talk?

[Hannah] About what?

[Marciano] Us?

What is there to talk about?

[groans] I'm an idiot.

I'm a [bleep] idiot.

[Solemn music playing]

I'm sorry.

You not only, like, hurt me,

you've hurt everybody

in the house.

- And, like, I

- I know.

I defend you with your

[bleep] mouth all the time.

Like, even what you said

to Grace last night,

I don't know what happened,

but I still had your [bleep] back.

- Thank you.

- And you're out here

[bleep] locking lips

with somebody.

You didn't give a [bleep]

about my feelings.

You didn't care.

♪♪

You're right.

Like, I would never do

that to you, ever.

♪♪

I know.

Do you have any respect for me?

- Yeah, I do.

- Because I feel like I've respected you.

I [bleep] up.

I just wanna make it up

and, like, try and

Make it up?

It's so raw, what just happened.

[Dramatic music playing]

So, what do you wanna do then?

- Do what?

- If-If I'm leaving it in your hands,

- what do you wanna do?

- I don't wanna do anything right now.

I don't.

- With us?

- No. Nothing.

- Nothing at all?

- Nothing.

I think he knows he

[bleep] up last night,

but I'm genuinely not ready to

even look at you, speak to you,

anything right now.

Like, I don't want to.

You did a major [bleep] up,

majorly.

And I don't want to talk

about this anymore.

He's trash. Trash. In my book.

- [Dramatic music continues]

- [Marciano sighs]

I [bleep] up.

[Epic music playing]

[Stephen]

Get the pedicure done, girl.

[Gabriella]

How are you feeling?

Do you want a clear coat?

Is the cut still there?

Can you see?

[Stephen] What cut?

You have a cut?

[Andre] Yes. That's what

she was supposed to be doing,

is giving me a Band-Aid.

No, I'm giving you a pedicure,

because your toes

are crusty-dusty.

[Andre] Wait till you put that

gloss on there.

It's about to go crazy.

- No, get in there. There you go.

- [Gabriella] Mm-hmm.

[Stephen]

Do you want some lotion?

- No.

- [Gabriella] No. We're not

- I'm not going that far.

- [Stephen] I thought this was

- a full-on pedicure. [laughing]

- [Gabriella] Hell no.

I feel like this environment

definitely,

like, heightens everything.

And I also have this

weird thing,

if I can't have someone,

I kind of want them.

It's like, ugh. It's the worst.

But it happens, you know?

It's like, oh, like,

I do love Grace.

I know from day one I supported her,

but I'm just, like,

letting things kind of play out.

We'll see,

we'll see how things go.

He's sweet. He's a good guy.

Mm-hmm. In between.

[Andre/Gabriella laugh]

[Stephen]

She's flossing his toes!

[laughter]

Gabriella,

she's a very cool girl.

It's good to get to know her.

She comes off very successful.

Like, you know, things don't

really phase her too much.

I think that's why I'm a

little bit attracted to her.

She has something that

I can't really grasp.

And she-she kind of makes me

Like, I don't know.

Want it.

[Gabriella] All done.

What the hell?

[Light, playful music playing]

- [Stephen] What?

- My feet feel amazing!

- [Gabriella] Ay!

- [all laugh]

[Gabriella]

Look at those nice toes.

- Ooh! Ay, ay.

- [Stephen] How they feel?

Look at that, look at that.

[Gabriella] Fifty dollars.

Tip is not included.

[upbeat music playing]

[Lisa] We only have a few hours

before the next set of guests arrive.

And I know the kitchen

are working tirelessly

to create the sumptuous,

delicious,

roast beef dinner for tonight.

For a server, Marciano

seems completely ignorant

of the importance

of the role that Chef plays.

And I'm about to show him.

You've got a new helper

tonight, Chef.

All the arrogance of, "Oh, I

can do or say whatever I want."

Well, go and tell that

to the dishes.

You're gonna have

Marciano in here,

until every last

dish is cleaned.

That sounds amazing.

That's perfect.

I think Marciano

in the kitchen's

kind of like a

sweet revenge, you know?

Like, you can't imagine, like,

the good feeling I have

to have him with me.

He is the best in Vegas

or whatever. I don't care.

Maybe we can talk about all the

chefs you know better than me.

I know chefs that would

be out here right now,

making sure your experience

was the best of all time.

- [Caroline] Why would you say that?

- There's nothing more to say.

I'm just telling you.

There could be more.

[Lisa] Anyway, you know how

to deal with it, Chef.

- No worry. We got this, Lisa.

- [Lisa] Alright, Chef. Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

[Marciano] I had to go talk to Lisa.

She took me off.

- I'm working back of the house.

- Huh?

I'm gonna be working

with the kitchen.

You're working in the kitchen?

For my mistakes, my punishment.

Which I deserve.

I [bleep] love Lisa Vanderpump

for doing that.

I think it's hilarious.

I hope he does learn

his lesson, but for now,

I'm gonna put this behind me

and go and get ready

for the new guests to arrive.

I can't have Marciano-drama

affect me.

- [Classical music playing]

- [vacuum whirring]

[Gabriella] Alright ladies,

suck it in, t*ts out. [laughs]

Let's see what they look like.

[Grace]

Turn up the heat.

Marciano's in the kitchen.

[Plucky music playing]

You can zip this down.

- Choo-choo-choo.

- Chill.

- Chill.

- [laughter, chatter]

We are definitely excited

to have a group of men

in the house as a guest.

[Gabriella]

Oh yes! She's ready.

[Caroline] Finally,

a little change

because we've had

a lot of women.

I wanna see some men.

- How are you girls?

- Good.

- Amazing.

- [Priscila] Feeling good.

- [Lisa] Are you?

- I'm excited.

[Telly/Hannah] Yes.

- How excited?

- [group together] Very.

Oh lordy, you're making

me scared.

[Thrilling music playing]

Chízi, he went through so much.

It's been a hell of a journey,

so this is a moment of celebration.

This experience is

to celebrate Chízi,

but also to acknowledge

the group.

When Chízi felt all was lost,

his best friends reached out,

and gave him this lifeline.

[overlapping greetings]

- [Lisa] Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.

- [Chízi] Hello, Lisa.

- Thank you. Thank you so much.

- How was your trip?

- It was great.

- Should we go inside?

- [Chízi] Yes, let's do it.

- [Lisa] Guest of honor.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. [chuckles]

- [Lisa] You know, your story is amazing.

- [Chízi] Oh, thank you so much.

Two years ago I was

in the back of an Uber,

and woke up in the hospital,

uh, shattered pelvis,

dislocated femur,

punctured liver,

shoulder separation.

So the past two years

have been full of trials,

but this group, they've

been my backbone for sure.

They've really held me down.

I'm just so grateful

to be alive.

I'm so grateful to have these

bunch of people with me.

- I brought two just in case for you.

- Oh, thank you. Thank you.

- Cheers.

- Cheers, thank you.

[Hannah]

Where are you guys from?

- So, I'm from LA.

- [Hannah] Okay.

Or originally from Florida.

Where are y'all from?

- I'm from Vegas.

- Vegas?

- Yes. Vegas.

- Also a big Vegas fan.

You should let me know

next time you're in Vegas.

- I will. I will.

- Definitely, hit me up.

- Absolutely.

- When you guys are down there.

I'm definitely looking at Dan.

I think he's the cutest

out of the whole group.

So we'll see where that goes.

[dishes clank]

[Marciano]

Why is this so quiet?

How do I feel about

a bunch of dudes

coming to the Chateau,

when me and Hannah are

in a rocky place,

and I'm not allowed

to watch or see it?

Hm, let me think. Not good.

- ♪♪

- Where are you from?

- I live in LA now. You?

- Oh, okay, okay, nice.

- Uh, Houston, we're from Houston.

- Houston?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh yes, yeah, uh

- I got the low-down on all you guys.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I am very [bleep] excited.

Gonna make sure the job is done,

but I'm also gonna take shots

and wear cute-a*s outfits,

and shake my butt because

I deserve to.

- Thank you so much.

- Oh my gosh,

- it looks beautiful for you.

- Thank you so much.

I appreciate it.

[Telly] I'm already

getting such good vibes.

- [group whooping]

- [Marciano] [bleep]!

- [group cheering]

- [Hannah/Telly whoop]

Alright Christian, body shots.

Hop up on the counter.

- Yeah. Wait, body shots.

- Yup, get up here!

- [Marciano sighs]

- [Telly] Body shots! Body shots!

Damn straight. Take the shot.

Now the lime,

the lime, the lime.

- [Upbeat music playing]

- [group cheering]

- [Music stops]

- Oh!

[Andre laughs]

- Body shots! Body shots!

- [Telly] Drink it, drink it!

[Hannah] Woo!

Woo! You would think these women

were in the desert for

12 days and 14 hours,

the way they are thirsty

right now.

[in high-pitched voice]

Guys, guys!

- [Playful music playing]

- [Hannah whooping]

Normally, I don't think

I'd want the staff drinking,

but I'm prepared to

turn a blind eye.

As long as the guests are happy,

that's the most important thing.

And I think these girls,

it might be a bit of a feel-good

factor for them for a change.

Marciano's been taking

off his shirt,

and strutting his stuff

like a peacock.

And I think now maybe the

girls will have their moment.

[Upbeat music playing]

[Grace]

I think there's a consensus

between all the girls

on staff at the Chateau,

that we are deprived.

- [Hannah] Boys!

- [group cheering]

[Hannah]

Get it, get it, get it.

I think we were ready

for some men to come.

And Marciano is in the dish pit,

while Hannah's doing body shots.

And that's pretty satisfying.

[comical music playing]

I will find all the dirty

dishes for him.

I'll lick a fork and throw

it back there. I yeah.

- You don't have one, Chef.

- [Eric laughing]

Come on, dude.

I'm the Chef.

[birds chirping]

- [Eric] Hey.

- [Hannah] What?

So, I just snuck a conversation

with your boy Marciano.

Okay. And he's like

[Marciano] [groans] I don't feel

good about hearing things

that Hannah may or may

not be doing

Take the shot.

The lime, the lime!

[Marciano] with one of

the guests or multiple guests

or I God knows what.

All I know is I am

livid right now.

[Hannah]

That I'm going to regret?

[Hannah] Marciano's acting like

a pompous as*h*le,

and this is why we're

not together.

He's like

- [thumps head]

- Ow! [bleep] [bleep]!

I don't give a [bleep], I mean,

he just kissed someone else.

So I'm gonna show Dan

a real fun party girl.

I'm gonna do whatever it takes.

[group] Cheers.

[group whooping]

[Upbeat music playing]

[Gabriella]

Booze and

- [Priscila] Bou-lays

- [Gabriella] Boules.

- [Priscila] Boules. Boules.

- [Gabriella] "Boo-lays." [laughs]

Booze and boules. For the boys.

And Luzi. Luzi?

[Luzi laughs]

[Priscila] Boozy.

For Chízi's welcome activity,

we're setting up

Booze and Boules,

which is Bocce or Pétanque.

And I'm so excited.

'Cause, finally a group of guys.

I've been needing this.

[laughs] Thanks Lisa.

And there's one guy that is hot.

Dan's like a nine. He's gonna

get a little love from me.

[Stephen]

We're gonna play to 12 points.

The first team to 12 points

wins the entire game.

Obviously with the bigger ba*ls,

the bocce ba*ls, the-the boules,

whoever's closest to the Palino

wins that point within that round.

[Luzi]

We need to set the stakes.

I know we talked about what

the losing team has to do.

- Just jump in the pool, fully clothed.

- [Gabriella] Ooh.

- She's making it interesting.

- [excited chatter]

[Gabriella]

You're making it interesting.

- [guest 1] Oh that-a boy!

- [guests cheering]

- [guest 2] Yeah.

- [Hannah] Wow, Dan.

[Playful music playing]

- [guests chattering]

- [Gabriella] Purple.

[guests cheering]

- Good job, Dan.

- [group chattering]

- [Dan] Distracted.

- [Hannah] Am I distracting you?

- [Dan] A little bit. Little bit.

- [Hannah] Okay, I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

Don't talk to Dan.

- [Dan] You want a celeb shot? No pressure.

- [Gabriella giggles]

I feel the pressure.

I need some luck.

[Dan blows]

[blow echoes]

- [Upbeat electronic music playing]

- [group cheering]

[guest]

This girl can't miss.

Tied up.

Hype me up, hype me up,

hype me up.

♪♪

[group cheering]

♪♪

- [Music stops]

- I mean, me and Andre

aren't really anything

right now.

I'm just trying to be

respectful of Grace,

and Dan is so, so cute

and he's really sweet.

Lord knows I'm

[bleep] horny, so

- Take it off. [laughs]

- [Stephen] Or keep it on.

Our team and all of you guys

have to jump in the pool.

- Okay, I'll jump in.

- Alright let's do it.

I'm like [scoffs] [bleep].

But, when you're spontaneous,

that's when you have the most fun.

So

[group whooping, laughing]

[whooping]

[group whooping]

[laughter]

When I said to the staff,

[Lisa] "I want you to have

a bloody good time,"

I didn't actually mean go and

jump in the pool

with your uniform on.

But you know what?

Right now,

I'm not gonna say anything.

Should I say something?

Probably.

Am I gonna say something?

No, but th-they should be

ready for dinner.

Please, God, let it be ready.

Let the table be set.

- [Gabriella] Lisa we did it. [laughs]

- There you go.

So you can play, and you

can work at the same time.

Is everything present

and correct?

- It looks beautiful.

- [Gabriella] Yes.

I think it looks more masculine.

It's gorgeous, right?

- [Priscila] It looks powerful.

- How neat are these?

- The balance is just

- [Lisa] Yes. It's all perfect.

Visuals are so important to me,

and encompassing the

feeling of a group

is absolutely essential to

the success of a dinner party.

[Elegant music playing]

Each experience at

Chateau Rosabelle

has to be more delicious

than the last.

- Ooh-la-la.

- [Gabriella/Priscila] Ooh-la-la.

- Mama's getting hot.

- [Lisa/Gabriella laugh]

[Priscila/Lisa laugh]

- [Gabriella] I'm ready.

- [Priscila] I'm ready.

- [Easy, upbeat music playing]

- Wow, this is beautiful.

- [Priscila] Hi guys,

- [Hannah] Welcome.

[guests chattering]

Alright, everyone.

[mimics fanfare]

I'd like to introduce the most

beautiful chef in the south of France.

Good evening, everyone.

It's such a pleasure to

have you with us tonight.

We've prepared the best dinner

you've ever had in the

south of France.

So, to start, we, uh,

specially curated

a little amuse-bouche,

a pig in a blanket.

♪♪

For the appetizer,

we have a tomato soup

with mini grilled cheese.

And for your main course,

it's a roasted prime beef,

with English peas, roasted carrot,

and roasted potatoes.

As a dessert, it's a English pudding

that we call spotted d*ck.

[Music distorts, stops]

- [guest] I'm sorry?

- [group laughs]

[Upbeat music resumes]

[Lisa]

We didn't make that up.

It's a traditional

English dessert

called spotted d*ck.

[laughter]

We will serve spotted d*ck,

but I just hope you don't

leave with one.

[laughter]

Cheers to that.

Have a beautiful dinner.

- Enjoy.

- [overlapping chatter]

[Luzi]

Thank you Chef.

Have a beautiful time.

This is your home. Enjoy. Relax.

[Hannah]

I definitely like this group.

They're all hot men.

Ready to party, ready to have fun.

I feel like this is gonna be

a really good night tonight.

I mean, what could

possibly go wrong?

'Cause Marciano doesn't

exist right now.

No guest has seen him

'cause he's in the dish pit.

[laughs]

I would like some cream

on this, uh,

what'd you call this again?

- [Hannah] Uh, spotted d*ck.

- Spotted d*ck, yes.

- Yeah,

- Yeah. [laughs]

[Thrilling music playing]

[Luzi gasps]

[Christian] Look how beautiful

my friends look.

- Beautiful area.

- [Luzi] If we get cigars,

I will be so happy. I will die.

[Eric] Alright, we have a great

old-fashioned bar set up.

We have some really

good choices of liquor,

whether it's rum, scotch,

some blended whiskeys.

I am going to

the old-fashioned bar,

and I'm gonna do what I do best.

Pour shots down their throat

if they want it.

If anybody wants to come up?

Hello Andre.

- Nice to meet you, brother.

- I got you. [laughs]

[Priscila]

Hello guys.

[guests] Oh!

[Hannah]

We're ready to party!

- This is us in normal life.

- Normal life.

- This is so cool.

- [Eric] Wow, beautiful ladies, beautiful.

I have some seats right

here for you.

We're in trouble.

'Cause the ladies

clearly like what they see.

And when I look over at Eric,

and look Eric, look over at me,

and he's like, "sh*t."

Oh, we're in trouble.

[Gabriella]

This looks amazing.

[Eric] You want a wine or

a tequila or anything?

Can I pop Champagne

for you boys?

- I'm good, brother.

- [Eric] Good, everyone's good?

Good? Alright.

These guys, they don't even want

to do the traditional

"pop Champagne

take shots to the face".

You gotta drink out

of the bottle at least once

while you're here, you know?

[mouths] What the?

[normal] I mean, come on.

You want a refill on something?

I wish Marciano was out

of the frickin' dish pit.

Okay? I wish!

[Dan] I'd love to make a cheers

to the amazing staff.

- You guys have made us feel so at home.

- Thank you.

[group cheering]

- [Dan] Honestly

- So welcoming.

If the trip ended right now,

we would all say

- You guys are amazing.

- You guys are so much fun.

[Dan] been incredible.

Thank you so much.

Marciano's in the dish pit,

and I feel like I can do

whatever the [bleep] I want.

I can break the rules. I don't

have him chirping in my ear.

Now I'm gonna go grab a

drink with Dan at the bar,

because he seems like

a man of substance,

and I wanna get to

know him better.

- [Gabriella] Hannah, where are you going?

- I'm just getting more.

[Light classical

music playing]

- Have a seat.

- Make myself comfortable?

- Yeah. Make yourself comfortable.

- Alright.

- [Telly] Hey.

- [Dan] Are we doing shots?

[Hannah]

Can we?

I need, like, a chaser.

That's what I'm looking

so close for.

[Hannah]

Let me go grab Coke.

[Telly]

I'm gonna go get a Sprite.

What was your longest

relationship?

- [Mischievous music playing]

- [Telly laughs]

- [Dan] About

- I'm just gonna ask.

- Year and a half.

- A year and a half?

- Yeah.

- What happened?

Um so I was living in Spain,

and I had to move

back to the US.

Have you had a long relationship

in your twenties?

Um

♪♪

Yeah. [chuckles] Yeah, I have.

Yeah, I have.

- Off and on, off and on.

- [Dan] Off and on.

Mm-hmm.

But yeah.

What's been missing?

- With him?

- [Dan] No, just in general.

Um

[pensive music playing]

I just feel, you know, I went

for the wrong guy, you know?

♪♪

I have to respect myself

as a woman and move on

- Yeah.

- from that.

♪♪

[group chattering outside]

- Yeah. Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Yeah?

It's awesome.

[Plucky music playing]

- Oh, is it deep? I'ma I'll come back.

- [Hannah] No no, no. Yeah.

- I'll come back.

- [Hannah] No, come, come.

Hey, you know what? We need to

turn this frickin' party up.

- [Dan whistles]

- Can we [bleep] pop Champagne or what?

Let's pop Champagne.

[Hannah/Eric] Let's pop [bleep] Champagne.

- [Mischievous music playing]

- They call me Champagne Eric.

[group cheering, laughing]

[Priscila] You know, getting to

know a lot of people,

everybody here has a

very strong personality.

[group cheering, chattering]

I don't know, it

Everything you feel is,

I thought I was intense,

but, like,

it's really hard

because it gets really lonely.

[indistinct chatter]

I haven't found like, you know,

like, my partner in crime here.

I'm like, I haven't found somebody

that I can really relate.

There's somebody that if

things get hard, to rely on.

Like him, but gets

a little awkward.

- Babe.

- He's like this.

Don't hook up with

him just because

- you want someone to hook up with here.

- No, no, no.

- Like, it's giving no.

- [Hannah] I might go to bed.

As much as I want to try to,

like, get back at Marciano,

I'm not gonna just hook up

with someone to be spiteful.

So yeah, I sent him off to

go flirt with somebody else.

I would never do that

to Marciano.

- [Dan] I'm feeling great.

- [Gabriella] Yeah?

- How are you feeling?

- Good.

I don't wanna speak

for everyone, but

[guest wailing]

Without some type

of structure,

it's hard to develop

these life skills

that are gonna serve you

for the rest of your life.

[Light, gentle music playing]

- It is very

- You see right through people.

Yeah. I can tell you're

good at that.

[Gabriella] Dan is being

extremely flirtatious.

Like, he's cute and whatever.

Like, it's funsies.

Dre's on the roster.

But let's not jump the g*n.

We are not in love.

[Andre] [mumbles]

Oh sh*t.

[Emily]

Two, one, go!

[group scream]

I'm confused.

Like, I felt like

we were flirting.

What is going on?

[Soft music playing]

[Dan]

When we first arrived,

- Hannah gave amazing party vibes.

- [Gabriella] Yeah.

[Dan] And then when

we hung out tonight

and I got sit by you,

and we actually talked

about life

you're definitely my type.

[Gabriella]

Oh, my God.

He's a prince.

The hair, the vibe.

♪♪

It's just everything I need.

[Romantic music playing]

[Epic musical coda]

[Anthony]

That shirt is little tight, bro.

What, you're gonna eat

one piece of bread,

you're gonna explode, you know?

- [laughter]

- It's stretchy.

[Lisa]

Next, on Vanderpump Villa

Damn.

I have a little surprise

for you.

You're all going to

Carcassonne for dinner.

When you're making

fun of appearances and sh*t,

I don't [bleep] like that.

- [Dramatic music playing]

- You guys are fake-a*s b*tches.

What the [bleep]?

It's just too wild for me.

[crying] I'm trying 'cause

I don't wanna disappoint you.

I don't want to feel

like that Lisa.

[sobs]

- [Quirky music playing]

- [Eric] Wind's coming out of the south?

That means I ride north.

Wait for the right moment.

Form good.

Grip good.

Lisa's not looking.

Phew!

Ride!

♪♪

Eric! Eric!

[Eric]

Hold on, Toto! [laughs]

I don't like to call people weird,

but the guy is different.

[Eric] Comin' in hot, donkeys.

Support me!

And weird.

Like, really. Like, seriously.

- What are you doing?

- [Eric] Riding a broom in a tornado. Ah!

Comin' in a hot, baby.

- [Andre] What tornado?

- [Priscila laughs]

[Andre]

I can't. I can't.

[Intriguing theme

music playing]

[Music fades out]