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01x04 - A Naughty Night in Versailles

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Vanderpump Villa". Aired: April 1, 2024.*
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Follows the hand-picked crew of Lisa Vanderpump's opulent French villa as they live and cooperate to satisfy each extravagant want of their affluent visitors.

01x04 - A Naughty Night in Versailles

Post by bunniefuu »

[lively music playing]

[Lisa Vanderpump] Previously on

Vanderpump Villa

- [vocalizing]

- It looks like a big turd.

You're gonna burn the

[bleep] house down.

You saved everyone. You're the

savior of the house. Great.

That was funny as hell.

Okay, I want to speak. If anybody

interrupts me talking right now,

they can leave this room.

I am the chateau manager.

I was never in the military,

but this is gonna be run

like a military operation.

[deep breath]

Are you okay?

I'm super nice,

but I have extreme nasty

side as well.

This dude does not know what

the [bleep] he's talking about.

- Am I interrupting?

- [Eric] But no more fun and games.

Eric's confidence is

tipping into arrogance.

I make the decisions here.

Welcome!

So our guest of honor, Harlan.

This is a very exciting moment

to commemorate her full

transition to female.

Wait, we have to set up

for the lilac picnic.

Oh, we've got time.

This is only 10:00.

This is Lisa's decision.

It was supposed to

be on the gravel.

- I want to know who's changing my plans.

- Eric.

- Can we talk?

- Sure.

Stephen is gunning for my job.

I know he's the one who told.

- That's not what it was supposed to be.

- I understand.

I understand. I'm sorry.

You're batshit [bleep] crazy.

- What a tattletale.

- [group cheering]

[Lisa] The marque event is

The Butterfly Rebirth Ball.

[speaker] Yeah, man!

Hey, can I do a shot please?

[dramatic sting]

My team right now,

they don't respect me.

Lisa's up my a*s.

I'm a little scared, I'm going nervous,

I'm going crazy.

- [guests shouting]

- [dramatic crescendo]

[intriguing theme

music playing]

♪♪

[intense music playing]

[Eric]

Hey, can I do a shot, please?

Lisa told me that

I need to, like,

make sure no one

steps behind the bar

because when I do so,

I get in trouble with

my "manager"

who's not really my manager.

So, at the end of the day,

if you want to go behind the bar

and pour yourself a shot,

go for it.

[indistinct chatter]

Alright.

[plucky music playing]

There's no way.

Be [bleep] for real.

♪♪

Be [bleep] for real.

[bottle slams]

[Eric]

My mission is to impress

Lisa Vanderpump

and prove that I'm doing my job

as the chateau manager.

Sit down, Harlan.

I gotta surprise

for [bleep] you.

[guests exclaim]

Turn on the music.

Call me manager tonight.

- Turn it up! Turn up the music.

- [screaming, laughter]

[Emily]

No! There's no way.

Oh, my God.

[Eric] First of all,

the guests get what they want

and sometimes it's unorthodox,

alright?

I am unorthodox,

I'm not traditional

and that's why I think that

I was hired for this position.

That's why I [bleep] love him!

- [guest] Woo!

- [Hannah] That's my manager. Let's go!

[group laughing, gasping]

[speaker] Woo!

[Emily]

I think he's cute.

[laughs] This is gonna

get me in trouble.

[Eric] Who's [bleep] next?

Priscila, you're up.

[Eric]

Oh, my lord.

Eric is definitely annoying.

Eric is that busboy who you find

behind the restaurant

smoking cigarettes

with a stolen bottle

from the bar.

It's really aggravating.

- [Harlan] Deadass!

- [Priscila] Oh, my God!

[Harlan]

Is that all you got?

- [playful, upbeat music playing]

- [Priscila] Oh sh*t.

[guests screaming, whooping]

♪♪

[echoing laughter]

[Eric] We're all here because

Lisa knows who we really are,

and I am gonna be myself.

This is what I do.

This is what I was born for.

- [laughter]

- [upbeat music playing]

- [Marciano] Dude.

- [Eric] Yeah, I'm missing one sock.

- It's worth it.

- [Marciano] [bleep] Worth it.

- And I had a great [bleep] time.

- [Marciano] Yeah, I know.

Eric is a go-getter and a complete

above-and-beyond kinda guy.

But now I realize that I

need to do whatever it takes

to make the guests happy.

Good thing I didn't

throw my underwear.

I didn't wanna scare everybody.

[laughter]

Eric, you're not here

to make friend.

You here, like, to make sure

the staff's doing their job.

They're never gonna

take you seriously.

So, it's on you.

[upbeat music playing]

Everything went really well

for Harlan's rebirth ball

and now we're just gonna relax

before Harlan and her friends

leave tomorrow.

I think Andre definitely

knows I like him,

but I do want to tell him

what I really feel.

I'm into you and-and you

See? Right there.

[Andre]

Grace is amazing.

She's the perfect little,

like, princess.

- What'd you say?

- Now who doesn't have anything to say?

- Yeah, I'm not speechless, I just

- Say it.

- Just like to think before I talk.

- Okay.

But I don't see Grace

in that light,

and I really don't want that

to affect our relationship.

Friendship,

not relationship.

Don't say that, don't say that.

- [Andre laughing]

- Shut up with that sh*t.

Shut up. Shut up,

shut up, shut up.

Damn, like that [bleep] sucks.

But I shot my shot

and that's it.

[Grace] Okay, alright.

[Grace]

I've spoken my mind

and I wanna put comfy

clothes on and move on.

- [Priscila] One leg up.

[Grace laughs]

- One other one.

- Oh, my God,

I'm too drunk for

this right now.

[Priscila] Another one.

Kick those off, you got this.

[Grace laughs, squeals]

[both laughing]

[lively, upbeat music playing]

[Anthony] The guest are leaving today.

So I like to be ready

and I feel like the kitchen

likes working,

some of the bar's working,

cleaning,

like, they're doing

an amazing job but like,

what the others doing?

[Marciano snores]

They just here for party

and having fun?

I do believe we are more

passionate chef in France.

A lot of people in America

are there because it's a job.

The love of food came

since I was a kid.

I always be around the kitchen.

When you're in the kitchen,

you have to be happy,

you have to enjoy

and you have to

want make people happy

about your food.

[lively, upbeat music playing]

- [Stratton] Yeah, French beret.

- [Harlan chuckles]

[excited chatter]

Ooh, la, la!

- Love it.

- [everyone applauds]

[Lisa]

This is so sweet.

I'm definitely gonna

wear this hat

till the car pulls off.

[laughs]

I'm so touched by

Harlan and her friends

and moments like these are

what Chateau Rosabelle's

all about.

I would love for this

Chateau to be such a success,

that people would cherish

these memories for a lifetime.

- Thank you so much for having us.

- [Lisa chuckles]

- Go and eat something.

- [overlapping chatter]

[lively music playing]

[guest]

Oh, my God, it looks so good.

So for breakfast we're

gonna stay, like, very classic,

also some, like, berry yogurt,

fruit and coconut yogurt,

granola.

♪♪

- [Eric] Harlan.

- Hello again.

Hello again.

Here is our comment card.

Lisa would like you to

fill it out to review our staff.

Alright, will do.

- Thank you, Eric.

- [Eric] You're welcome.

I have left everything

on the table.

Even if me and Stephen

did not see eye to eye.

[Stephen] Please don't

tell me to step up

because there's a reason

that I'm here

and it's not because

I don't step up.

I regret nothing and

I think I did a great job

and I just hope Lisa knows

that I can get the job done.

[Harlan]

"Did we tickle your fancy

or was there

more to be desired?"

[guest 1]

My fancy was tickled, baby.

[Harlan]

Well, I was tickled pink.

[laughter]

- [Harlan] Who needs improvement?

- [suspenseful music playing]

I feel like Eric was, like,

he was doing a really great job

- of having fun with us instead of like

- [Harlan] Yeah.

managing everything and like,

taking care of business.

- [Harlan] Yeah, I-I agree.

- [guest 2] I can see that.

♪♪

[upbeat music playing]

[Lisa]

Well, that's a first.

♪♪

[all saying goodbye

to each other]

I think the guests

had a good time,

but I don't have feedback

to, like, know how I'm doing.

I'm nervous a little bit

'cause everybody's working hard

and everybody wants

to be recognized.

Bye, guys.

- Au revoir.

- [Priscila] Au revoir. Bye.

- [Eric] Sure.

- [Priscila] Yes.

Every time, you know,

she calls you,

I'm like, "Oh God. Oh sh*t."

She's intimidating.

[Telly]

I don't think Eric realizes

his actions, like,

have consequences

and they affect people.

So, like, when he's, like, just

drinking sh*t and pouring sh*t,

it's gonna affect how

I work the next morning.

I got reprimanded

for drinking behind the bar.

You are so important

in this equation

and I'm relying on you.

And now Lisa is gonna

lay the hammer down.

I'm so [bleep] excited.

[dramatic crescendo]

[intense music playing]

Hi.

[Eric] All I wanna do

is get on that comment card.

But when Lisa pulls me

in the office,

I'm starting to worry.

I don't know what they're

gonna say.

Whatever you did, they said

they had the best time

and they loved both of you.

[upbeat music playing]

[Harlan] I really liked Eric,

not gonna lie.

- Like we know Eric.

- [guest 1] Did you? What?

- I couldn't tell.

- [laughter]

- Okay, but Priscila.

- [guest 2] I loved Priscila.

[guests] Priscila!

Priscila!

Oh, my God, Priscila

is fierce as hell.

I don't know what you did

but just keep doing it

because that's what

Chateau Rosabelle is about.

Fire!

Lead by example, people.

I will take you to

the promised land.

[whispering] [echoing]

I'm the shepherd of the flock.

[angelic music playing]

I appreciate you both very much.

I appreciate you.

Now go.

[both] Thank you!

- [Priscila laughs]

- [Eric] Woo!

[lively, upbeat music playing]

[Andre]

Telly is making me so nervous.

Look how cute I look

with this little head band.

I literally was looking

at myself in the mirror earlier

and I was like

- Dre, don't I look cute?

- [Andre] Okay. Okay. No.

[Telly]

You look really cute.

Hey Han, I'm gonna

put some bacon in there

unless you want tuna instead.

[Hannah] No. Ew!

Okay, well I'm gonna

dice up some of this stuff.

Hannah and I,

we're over the hump

and are definitely

in a good spot.

Right now,

I couldn't be happier,

and I think she feels

the exact same way.

[Hannah] Marciano and I

have been hooking up.

I'm across the world,

I'm in a new environment,

and I'm stuck on an island

with my ex-boyfriend.

Not an island, but in a chateau.

So yeah, it's a lot and

it was a lot to adapt to,

but now I wanna just

have fun and enjoy myself.

That was good.

[Lisa] Hello.

- [Eric] Good morning.

- [staff] Hello!

- [plucky music playing]

- Sit up straight.

I don't want to see what you

had for breakfast, darling.

- Thank you.

- [laughter]

[Lisa] We've had, you

know, two rather

delightful guest arrivals

up to now

and as the saying goes,

third times the charm.

You all did so well.

They said Eric went

above and beyond

in making a girl happy.

[laughter]

- I did go above and beyond.

- [Lisa] You did?

- [Eric] Yes

- [Gabriella] He did. He definitely did.

[Stephen] I'm not too surprised

that Eric is being praised

for going above and beyond

because for Eric, it's the abs

that get the attention,

definitely not being

the chateau manager.

- [curious music playing]

- So now our next guest of honor,

it's Lauren's

bachelorette party.

She's getting married to JP

who is a tennis pro.

Nice looking bunch.

Now you know bachelorette

parties,

- they can get a bit wild.

- [mischievous music playing]

[Marciano] I've seen a lot of

bachelorette parties in Vegas

and let me tell you,

it's gonna be

a fantastic time at the Chateau.

We're here for that.

[Hannah]

Marciano and I are in

a really good place right now,

but a bachelorette party?

That means a bunch

of horny women

just trying to hook up

with dudes.

I'm not worried, but we all know

Marciano likes to

peacock around.

If he tries anything or

tries to [bleep] with me,

I will come after him

like a [bleep] bulldog.

On day two, I've arranged a

topnotch masseuse and facialist

to pamper our guests

by the pool.

- Eric and Marciano

- [Eric] Yes?

try and keep your shirts on.

- Can we be the oil?

- [Marciano] Yeah, wait,

- I thought we were the oil boys. [laughs]

- Yeah I thought

we were the oil boys.

The oil You're gonna

put your hands on them?

[crosstalk]

[Lisa]

Yeah, sure.

We need some water back there.

It's getting thirsty.

- What's wrong with you today?

- [Telly] Nothing.

- Nothing?

- [tense music playing]

[Eric] Telly and Stephen

are honestly jealous

because I get praise and worship

and they get,

"Why didn't you do your job?"

[Lisa] You know, look,

you can say,

"Oh he's getting thirsty,

you need some water back there."

That's exactly what

we're here to do.

Otherwise, I might

as well have got some

fuddy duddy old staff

that sit here and kind of bow

and curtsy

and all that bullshit.

No, we're here to bring

the party alive.

- Do we understand each other?

- [Priscila] Yeah.

- [Marciano] Here, here.

- We're curators.

Exactly.

♪♪

Do you understand

what I'm saying?

I mean, like, as long as the

guests are happy, I guess.

Of course, it's not guessing.

What's annoying to me the most

is that Lisa is condoning

Eric's behavior.

It's frustrating for me because it just

makes him feel like it's okay

to keep doing what he's doing.

[Lisa] It's a very unusual experience

at Chateau Rosabelle.

It needs feel-good factor and

we're here to provide it.

So I'm really anticipating

nothing short of perfection from you.

- Are we in or not?

- [staff] Yes.

Okay.

[Eric]

Amen to that.

- [Emily] This way.

- [Grace] Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

[Lisa]

Lauren's bachelorette party

is arriving at the Chateau

in the blink of an eye.

For their first activity,

we'll have badminton.

On day two, a decadent

Night in Versailles.

It's going to be beautiful.

Everybody's finding their level.

I just hope it can

stay that way.

♪♪

Eric.

[sighs]

[bouncy, upbeat music playing]

Eric.

[Lisa] I need somebody to

do some vacuuming.

Okay, we've gotta get moving.

Come on, giddy up! Let's go.

Well, have you got something

else to do? I can do it.

- Oh, [scoffs]. You can I got this.

- I can do it.

Heck, I've gotta sweep the floor,

I'm gonna sweep the floor.

If I have to get

down on my hands and knees

and bark like a dog, I will.

I need to get this sh*t done.

Go and get the dustpan.

- [energetic music playing]

- [Stephen] I need the dustpan.

[Lisa]

Such a mess.

I got the dustpan.

- [Lisa] Okay.

- [Stephen] Alright.

- Alright take that.

- I will take that.

- Would you like Donut back?

- Oh yeah.

[Stephen]

[laughs] Alright.

[Lisa]

All present and correct?

Please, let's be as successful

with these guests as we were

with the last ones.

- [calm music playing]

- [speaker] Uh-huh.

[staff greeting guests]

[Lisa]

Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.

Hi, I'm Lauren.

Nice to meet you.

I chose to have my

bachelorette here

because all of my friends are

kind of all over the world.

Everyone that I surround myself

with has a big personality

but I think they'll

all get along

for the sake of me.

Well, cheers all of you.

Welcome to Chateau Rosabelle.

Let's go inside, shall we?

[excited chatter]

I did bring my fiancé,

that is a little unorthodox

but he was like,

"Why can't I come?"

[Eric] Alright everyone,

right this way.

[Lisa]

To the bar.

[Telly]

How are you guys doing?

- [guests] Good.

- [Telly] Great.

The guests are here for

the welcome drinks

before the Love Match event.

- [mischievous music playing]

- All I know is, at the Chateau,

- the guests get whatever they want.

- Yep.

[both snicker]

- Late night room service.

- Late night room service.

- Mm-hmm. [chuckles]

- Lip service, seduction.

- On a different planet.

- [Emily chuckles]

The guys are very excited

for the bachelorette weekend.

I think that they think

it's gonna go one way.

I really don't think it's

gonna go too well for them,

but we'll see.

♪♪

- Hi, Lisa.

- Hello, darling.

[birds chirping]

[Telly] Eric, those chairs

don't even go there, babe.

Where would you like 'em?

[Telly]

You're the manager.

[tense music playing]

[glasses clunk]

Careful.

I'm like, getting

a little frustrated.

I've worked at so

many restaurants,

at so many different lounges.

I've left about seven jobs.

My personality is so strong

and, like, I speak up a lot

and all the problems I have

and with being here,

I don't know if this

is the right fit

because I keep finding myself

in situations with my manager,

but I respect the owner so much.

Cheers to this being

a bachelorette party.

This is to us making sure

we curate that sh*t

- Thank you.

- and execute it.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

[dramatic music playing]

- [loud echoing thud]

- I would do a double, but not yet.

- Yeah, not yet.

- Yeah.

- Falls on us though.

- Right.

We can keep these handy though.

[Telly]

Lisa has made it very clear

that we are not allowed

to drink during work.

[Lisa] Anybody drinking out there?

Staff?

- Oh, uh

- [Telly] He's like, "Yeah, everybody."

[Lisa] Have any of

the staff been drinking here?

That's what I wanna know.

When Marciano gets drunk,

it's not cute

and I feel like maybe

Lisa, like, had a bad day

or someone slipped some

THC into her tea,

but I know there is no way

that she hired Eric

in a clear state of mind.

- [Eric] Do not touch anyone.

- Listen, you're

- End of the story. Take a break.

- You're an idiot.

- No, I'm not, I'm very smart.

- You're not. You're not.

- I am very smart man.

- You're wrong.

I'm gonna sit back and not let,

like, dumb and dumber bother me.

Like, at the end of the day,

it's none of my business,

but we'll see.

[dramatic crescendo]

[lively, dramatic

music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Having a good time?

[Lauren]

Having the best time.

So how long have you

been together?

- Five years now.

- [Lauren] Almost five years, yeah.

- Where are you getting married?

- Australia.

Are you all going?

It's just family,

- it's 40 people.

- [quirky music playing]

[Brett] It's a little messed up

if you ask me.

- [music stops]

- [awkward silence]

Mm-hmm.

- [quirky music resumes]

- We do not think it right

to ask people to schlep

to Australia. Um

- [Lisa] Oh I think it's perfect. Yes!

- Do you think?

Anyone can come if they want.

- So now We have the invite now?

- You have the invite.

- [overlapping chatter]

- Andre's coming, Andre's coming.

- Andre's coming?

- Andre is coming.

Me getting the invite

before Brett

and this is her best friend?

♪♪

Let's just say

I'm good at my job.

[Lauren]

Everyone's the best.

[birds chirping]

Hannah and Gayle.

- [mumbles] Hannah and Gayle.

- [Eric] Okay.

[Marciano] The guests want me to

hang out with them and I want to

- [guests] Thank you.

- [Marciano] You're welcome.

Uh, do you wanna save

this for later?

- Oh, let's open it. Whatever.

- Let's open it now. Why not?

but I don't want any

issues with Hannah.

So, I have to remember,

do not [bleep] this up.

- Let's just leave it there.

- Oh.

- [Gayle] Yeah, always.

- Thank you. I appreciate it.

- Is this the dress you wanted to steamed?

- [guest] It's hers, yeah, yeah.

Marciano is very into

himself, very into, like,

his image and

how he's portrayed,

and I think that

Marciano is, like,

the scum on

the bottom of my shoe.

[guest]

Thank you so much.

- Thank you.

- Of course.

Oh my gosh, there's so

much to this right now.

- [bottle fizzling]

- I'm just gonna hold it down,

'cause that was a lot.

- [guests] Good job!

- [Marciano] Oh yeah.

[Gayle]

We didn't hear anything.

Some girls would think

that I-I'm-I'm saying this sh*t

and they're like, "Oh my gosh

he's totally flirting with me."

No, no, no, no, no, no,

don't think that.

Have some fun tonight, please,

'cause I would be dying

- to have some fun with you guys.

- Oh yeah, we're in it.

You guys look like a good time,

so I'm all for it.

I am just trying to do everything I can

for Chateau Rosabelle.

Doesn't matter whether it's massages,

rubbing someone down,

whatever to get that

comment card to say my name

so I can feel like

I belong here.

- [upbeat music playing]

- [guests laughing]

[Lisa] I know JP is

an excellent tennis player.

So, they're gonna have

a little love match.

They're not just playing

badminton,

the whole event,

with macaroons, with the cart,

is curated.

[Lauren] Wait, you get

one cheek, I get the other.

- Okay, ready? One, two, three.

- [Lauren] Oh no. [laughs]

Come on, Brett,

get it past that net.

c*ck in hand.

- No!

- [laughter]

We need to regroup.

We need a team meeting.

- [Brett] Time out.

- [Lauren] Team Green, come on.

[Brett] It's really crazy that

we're even, like, here right now.

- You know?

- [Lauren] Wild.

You know, I feel like

we, like, lost touch

- and, like, got back in touch, you know?

- [Lauren] I know.

We were hanging out

and then you just stopped

- Yeah.

- and that was weird.

- [Lauren] I've been booked and busy.

- But that's an excuse.

[intense music playing]

- Is it when I met JP?

- Yes.

You took her away

and I consider you

someone who I'm so close to.

And the fact that you just,

like, shrugged your shoulders

and turned your back

was really wrong.

[Priscila] Should we leave

because this is personal?

Like, we just met. [laughs]

It's like, why are

you, you know,

talking about this

in front of us?

I don't know, I'm very happy

to be here, we reconnected but, like

- [Lauren] Yes?

- it's just I-I sometimes feel like

I'm victim number one

in all of this.

[intense music continues]

[Hannah]

This is so [bleep] awkward.

I'm holding onto the

edge of my seat,

like trying to, like,

tap Priscila.

I'm like okay, so now we know

who the drama is with, Brett.

He doesn't give a about Lauren

'cause I would never do that.

- [soft, upbeat music playing]

- [Lisa] Lauren's favorite jewels

are diamonds and pearls.

So we're having a

diamonds and pearls dinner

with baby's breath

around the glasses.

It's going to look

absolutely exquisite.

I want to make sure

the details are perfect,

so the bride has the

experience of a lifetime.

♪♪

[Stephen] Welcome back,

everyone. I missed you.

- [guests] Wow.

- [guest 1] This is gorgeous.

[Anthony] Hi everyone.

Bienvenue au Chateau Rosabelle.

- [guests] Hi.

- [Brett] Thank you.

[Anthony] So we start

tonight with

the Capri salad

and [indistinct].

After that we'll have a risotto,

mushroom risotto

with black truffle.

I've been very passionate

about food since I was a kid.

I want people to eat

with their eyes,

I really want to do artistic

on the plate.

Fortunately, working for Lisa,

she was like,

"You can do whatever.

We want the guests

to be happy."

I mean, one time in your life

you're gonna hear that

from your boss, you know?

So being able to do what I like

is a dream come true.

And we end up the dinner with

a panna cotta with

roses flavor and berry.

- Bon appetit, guys.

- This is amazing.

[Brett] Chef Anthony

knows what he's doing.

[Lauren]

He knows what he's doing.

[Brett] Like, he absolutely

knows what he's doing.

I don't know, I feel

like, there's, like,

a little bit of, like,

weirdness still.

What the [bleep] is this?

Like, is this guy serious?

- [plucky music playing]

- I don't know, I feel like we should all

kind of clear everything up

to enjoy the rest

of the weekend.

[laughs]

[Brett] And, like, I wanna just

celebrate Lauren

and I just wanna be here

- for all of us together.

- Make that everyone's good

so we can all celebrate me.

JP, how do you feel?

- [guest] And JP?

[Brett] I know which was, like,

weird in its own way, but

[Lauren laughs]

[Brett]I just feel like,

I don't know, I just

- [Gayle] At least everyone's

thinking it.

- [Brett]

Everyone is thinking it. I

And I'm the one who's

saying it here.

Like, I don't understand

why you're here.

[Marciano] This was literally like

watching reality TV right now

because I have nothing to watch.

It was like a [bleep]

sitcom out there right now.

[Gayle] We're here

enjoying this moment together.

- [Brett] 100%.

- [Gayle] Let's not ruin it for

- [Brett] No, no.

- [Hannah] Where is the tequila?

And bring No, bring

the whole bottle. I'm sorry.

- No, there's

- Okay. I can tell immediately. [laughs]

I have people coming

by taking bottles.

It's not settling right with me.

[Marciano] Let's turn this [bleep]

bachelorette party up.

[Eric] I know.

Throwing some alcohol

on any argument

is gonna do one of two things,

it's either gonna make

it 10 times [bleep] worse

or it's gonna make it

10 times [bleep] better.

I'm willing to find out

right now.

[excited chatter]

[Eric]

Let's do it.

- Let's do it, girl.

- [Lauren] I'll take it.

A bachelorette party is

an occasion for celebration.

It doesn't need to be so strict.

We are not here for a business meeting or

an anniversary.

This is an event

to let go and let loose

and get wild and freaking crazy.

- We won't go crazy, alright?

- Woo! Let's go!

[indistinct chatter]

It's not the occasion

for fine freaking wine

and all this other stuff.

- [Lauren] You don't like whisky?

- Here we go.

There we go. It's tradition,

come on.

Here we go! Why not, baby?

What a friend.

["Drink Up Come On"

by Mr. Kazzmatic playing]

- [group cheering]

- ♪♪

- [Eric] Damn right, baby!

- [Marciano] Woo!

[laughter]

That's not okay.

I'm trying to make,

like, elegant,

uh, delicate food

and I want these people to get

to the fine dining experience.

Like, this kind of behavior

in the front with a guest

is not acceptable for me.

We not a nightclub, you know?

Wh-What time is it? They're still working

right now.

- Oh, come on. Chill, babe.

- No, like you, you just,

- you joking, guys.

- It's okay, it happen in many places.

- [Anthony] No. I'm sorry, no.

- [Caroline] Oh, Anthony.

[Anthony] I don't care

what this is.

It's not what it's

supposed to be.

I don't give a sh*t.

You're still

on the shift, you know?

- [dramatic music playing]

- Like you do that in any other restaurant,

- you get fired for that.

- [Caroline] No, that's not true.

- Okay, then tell me

- If the guests offer you to have a shot.

You know what?

You don't do that, I'm sorry.

[Caroline] No, but you

can have a baby shot.

Like this?

- That's a baby shot?

- I mean that's a different story, but

You're supposed to, like,

uh, be, like, classy and elegant

and you do shot like they

[bleep] back in Las Vegas.

I know maybe they want to party,

but for me it was way

too far, way too fast.

You know, like,

I mean at that point,

I can serve, like,

chicken wings and burgers.

Exactly the same story,

you know?

[Eric]

Is everyone okay?

- [Anthony] I'm not, no.

- Tell me. Sorry.

[Anthony] I don't like the way,

like, you act with people.

I don't like the way

Like, we trying to create

an experience here, you know?

- We do.

- Like, I'm trying

We are providing a

bachelorette experience.

This is the first time

me and Chef Anthony

have really had a dispute,

and the guy is so rigid

and unbreakable,

which is great, but he

needs to be flexible.

You are the spine

of the Chateau,

but I'm the arms, the legs,

the hair and the

frickin' eyes, baby.

The toes, too.

So let me do my job and

I'll let you do yours.

- Do not shout. Do not shout.

- You're kitchen and we're table.

That's all I'm saying.

Your kitchen and we're table.

Okay, good,

I'll give your space,

but we're giving them

what they want.

- Alright, we good, we good. He

- Unless it gets lame out there

- He had a long day

- Okay, we have all had a long day.

- I understand, just give a break.

- We can do that? It's okay?

It's okay to drink like that

in front of customer? It's okay?

Come on, bro.

I tried to stay quiet

as much as I can,

but at some point,

you have to be mean, you know?

Where we work,

the [bleep] baron night club?

If it was my place,

my restaurant,

half of the staff would

have be fired already.

[Eric]

It's a bachelorette party.

[Marciano]

Yeah, of course.

It is what it is.

[tense, dramatic

music playing]

[lively music playing]

[Eric]

Can I be your shepherd?

[sheep bleats]

Shh. Let's go, come on.

It's day two of Lauren's

bachelorette weekend

and we have a lot

on our plate today.

We're throwing the guests an amazing

pampered pool party brunch

and everything has

to be perfect today.

[clicks tongue]

But unlike the rest

of the staff,

I like to get up early.

So this morning, I thought

I'd wake them up with a laugh,

you know, for team morale sake.

- [Hannah gasps]

- [sheep bleats]

[Hannah] What are you doing?

[gasps] What?

[Eric laughs]

- [Telly] What is it?

- He brought the sheep up here.

- What? No he didn't.

- [Telly] What are you talking about?

[Hannah]

What the [bleep], Eric?

I wake up to, like, Eric antics.

It was just like, can I just

have five minutes without him,

like, doing something ridiculous

and being, like, in my face?

The way he's acting

should not be tolerated.

[sheep bleats]

[Hannah]

Inside the house, Eric?

[Eric]

He went in on his own will.

[lively music playing]

Good morning!

In the fruit salad, do you think

I should put some mint in it?

- [Anthony] I like mint and rum.

- Mint and what?

[Anthony]

I put rum on the fruit salad.

[phone ringing]

Good morning, Chateau Rosabelle.

This is Eric.

There's a-a really

nice breakfast bar

I have set up at

the Rosabelle bar.

Alright, see you soon. Bye-Bye.

Alright, ah-ha.

Why are you late?

- [Telly] I'm not late.

- [Eric] Yes, you are.

Oh, no.

Hey, I'm doing your job,

that's why I'm asking.

[Eric] No, just don't

be late next time, please.

[tense music playing]

You should care.

Your guests should care.

You want to be on time for Lisa?

You wanna be on time for Lisa,

be on time for the guests.

No, you're on shift.

Don't be late. This is okay.

Second time, don't be late.

- I've been up since 6:30.

- That's cool! You were up at 6:30

playing with a sheep.

- [Eric] I got

- Like, shut the [bleep] up.

[Eric]

Look at your bar.

[Telly]

I was 10 minutes late,

but the moment you say,

"I'm doing your job for you,"

it's just been something

after something

where he doesn't respect

boundaries,

he doesn't listen,

he consistently makes

my job harder.

If you keep bothering me,

you keep poking me,

you keep poking me,

I'm gonna [bleep] erupt.

- I'm not saying

- No. The way you talk to me

- is disrespectful, end of the story.

- [Telly] Eric, get away from me.

[Hannah]

Hey guys, guys, stop.

I don't need to. I don't need to.

Respect me like I respect you.

I don't give a toss

what's going on right now,

as long as they keep it

away from the guests.

I did not come this far,

I did not work this hard

to have these little

whipper snappers screw it up.

[Telly] You don't

respect anybody.

You're 20 minutes late.

That's bullshit.

[Telly] That's why you're

[bleep] 36 and single.

- [plucky music playing]

- Come on.

Telly wants to make

this personal.

I don't want to make

this personal.

When I show up for a shift,

we can fight, we can scream,

we can argue, but at

the end of the day,

we're all living in

the same place.

Don't bring your personal

life into work.

Give me some respect.

- ♪♪

- Okay.

[intense music playing]

[Lisa] We've gotta really

focus because today is

a pampered pool spa day.

I know this group is

having some issues.

So what better way to

melt their cares away

than with massages

and manicures?

Because tonight

the marquee event

is a Night in Versailles

and I want the guests

to be calm and relaxed

for this decadent dinner,

which will be complete

with costumes.

[Stephen]

Good morning again, everybody.

So we have a few options

for you over here.

We've got two manicurists.

They're gonna make

your nails just perfect

for Versailles tonight.

And then we've got two masseurs.

We can do up to 20 minutes

massage of your choice

and they're gonna take

great care of you.

- [Brett] Thanks, Stephen.

- Let's do it.

♪♪

[birds chirping]

- [guest] Eric.

- [Eric] Everyone's doing good, yes?

[guest]

Can you feed me an olive?

[Eric]

Heck yeah, I'll do this all day.

[mischievous music playing]

Everybody is sitting down relaxing,

I'm like, "You know what?

Let's spice things up."

[Stephen] Oh God,

what's about to happen?

[cork pops]

- [Eric] Come on, let's go!

- [guests squeal]

- [guests cheering]

- [Eric laughs]

That's what we're talking about.

- Will you have this rose, please?

- [Lauren] Oh, my God,

- I will accept this rose.

- Take this rose.

- [guest] Thank you so much.

- [Eric] One for you.

Oh yeah, nice full one.

I'll take one while I'm at it.

Oh, every girl loves the

treat and the taste of tequila

and I turn it up a notch

and we start having fun.

That's what I do.

I am fun, alright?

I know exactly what I'm doing.

- Down low, down low, down low.

- Oh, my God.

[Eric]

There we go, get it.

- [guest] Delicious.

- You're up next, baby.

[Marciano] Thank God.

[upbeat music playing]

[sighs] I love my [bleep] job.

Marciano's on shift and

he's getting shirtless

and drinking and

Definitely not jealous

of any of those girls.

I'm just annoyed that the

job is being put on me.

I just feel like he's being

fake as [bleep]

and putting on a show.

[Eric]

Do it, yeah! Woo! [laughs]

[Telly] I just feel so

much, like, anxiety

and, like,

weight on my shoulders

because, like, I don't like

fighting with people.

I really hate when

I get that way.

Like, I don't want

to be that person

because I used to

be that person.

And that's why I try so hard

in my day-to-day life

to avoid people that can

bring that side out of me.

[solemn music playing]

[Gabriella]

Okay, okay.

I have to have a conversation

with Lisa.

I wanna go home, like,

I don't even wanna be here.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- [Lisa] What is it?

- [flies buzzing]

These flies are driving

me cuckoo bananas.

[Lisa] Well, a lot of things

are driving me cuckoo bananas.

I don't wanna react

off of emotion,

but I would much rather go home

than be poked and poked

and poked. I'm not expecting

- Who's poking people?

- Eric.

This is, like, the third time

he's done this to me.

This is the third time where I

have been in, like, an argument

I don't think anybody

does anything to you.

I think you give it right back.

I think you are strong,

if not stronger than any person

that's in this whole equation.

- I don't. I don't, I try to run away.

- Well

- I try to I'm-I'm so serious.

- No you don't.

If you were gonna run away,

you wouldn't be sitting here now.

[Telly] I always have the

tendency to quit jobs

and to duck and dive and

not tackle my problems.

[Lisa]

I care about you more than I do

about your position that

you're filling.

Care more about you being happy.

Darling, if you want

to go, it's fine.

It's up to you.

[intense music playing]

[intense music playing]

[Lisa]

Is it too much?

I don't know. I'm, like,

so conflicted.

♪♪

[Lisa]

Right now, it's up to you.

I can't just quit things

when they get hard.

So you don't want to go home?

- No. I just

- Say it to me.

I don't want to let Lisa down,

but most importantly,

I don't want to

let myself down.

I definitely feel like I'm

growing in this experience

in the sense that I'm

learning how to tolerate

and not run away.

[flies buzzing]

Whoo, these bugs.

You're not gonna make every

one of those people up there

behave the way you want.

To be honest,

it's not gonna happen.

Yeah.

Do you think all my staff

behave exactly

the way I want them to behave?

No. [snickers]

There you have it.

- Okay, I've got to go back to work.

- Alrighty.

[upbeat music playing]

[guests] Wow!

[Andre]

Oh, y'all look amazing.

The dinner tonight is

a Night in Versailles.

Cheers to our last night

and let's have a good time.

- [Andre] Let's have a good time.

- [guests exclaim]

[Lisa] The room is

so delicate and sumptuous.

[Lauren]

This is incredible.

[guest]

Oh, my God.

I mean they can't have

anything but a good time.

[overlapping excited chatter]

[Marciano]

Oh, look at who it is.

[excited chatter]

Well, it's the

Versailles dinner.

I want you to

leave Chateau Rosabelle

remembering these experiences.

As much fun as you can have,

as naughty as you can be,

- it's all welcome here.

- [Lauren] Yes.

[Lisa] And I expect a full

report tomorrow morning.

Bon appetit. Bonne nuit!

The guests have made an effort

and they're wearing costumes

and completing the vibe.

The dinner is very

specially curated.

It looks beautiful.

[calm, elegant music playing]

[slurping]

[mischievous music playing]

Yo, the party's boring again and

I don't know what

we're gonna do about it.

I was expecting some of

these girls to let loose,

be buck wild and regret

some of their decisions

because if it were me

and I'm getting married,

I'm gonna go [bleep] ham.

♪♪

[Eric] We'll turn 'em up,

I promise you that.

I'm gonna bring 'em out there.

Me and Eric are trying

to [bleep] curate and execute.

That's all I know.

[Gabriella] Hey guys,

are we ready?

[upbeat music playing]

- Are we going out back?

- Yeah.

[Lauren]

Alright, let's do it.

[Eric] It's so important

that our guests

have a memorable experience,

but everybody wants to

be boring it seems like.

It's just bullshit.

When I think of

a bachelorette party,

I think of women having fun,

being reserved,

but letting go a little bit.

So what? Flirt with the guys.

Look at art, like all of

us are art pieces, okay?

Marciano's a Greek God,

we got a big diesel

in the house, Andre,

we got Stephen, hey,

he doesn't swing the same side,

but it's all good,

and we got me, alright?

Enjoy us, work with us,

flirt with us,

I'll flirt back with you, okay?

That is a real

bachelorette party.

Oh, they're playing

a game already.

Take a seat, take a seat.

You guys put on a

Night in Versailles for us

and now we're putting on

Versailles After Hours for you.

[mischievous music playing]

Tonight, Grace and I both

knew we weren't gonna miss out.

We can actually hang out and

have fun with the guests.

[Brett] So what we're gonna do here

is we're gonna go around,

you're gonna pick a

card out of this basket.

You can either answer

the question

or you can take an

article of clothing off.

[bleep]

Like, I know this is

gonna fall apart. [laughs]

Like, I'm just so scared.

[indistinct chatter]

[Lauren]

"Who is the most dramatic?"

[Marciano] Oh, there's a

few answers on that one.

- [Andre] Oh sh*t.

- [Grace] Marciano.

- [Marciano] Ah, that's bullshit.

- [group cheering]

That's such bullshit.

- That's absolute bullshit.

- No, it's not.

[Hannah]

"Who is the most boring?"

Today, Gabriella.

[group] Oh!

[Gabriella]

I can take it.

What is happening?

[Stephen]

"Who slacks off the most?"

I'm not drunk enough for that.

Aww!

[laughter]

You're a p*ssy. You're a p*ssy.

"Who is secretly the kinkiest?"

- [laughter]

- [Hannah] Oh!

[Brett] If you don't

want to answer it,

you can take off

an article of clothing.

I'm gonna say me.

[group] Oh!

[overlapping chatter]

- [Lauren] I love that.

- Answer!

[chuckles] Woo!

"Who do you think does

not deserve to be here?"

[tense sting]

[insects chirring]

- [guest] We don't have all day, come on.

- [Marciano] Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

I know chefs that would

be out here right now

making sure your experience

was the best of all time.

- Marciano, I'm so

- It's not me hating on his craft.

- I'm so shocked.

- [guest] He loves his craft.

Why would you say that?

He could do better

on other sh*t.

Wow! Marciano,

he's a pure as*h*le

and he's very arrogant

and I think Marciano

wouldn't have a job

if it wasn't for the kitchen.

What would he serve?

What would he do?

I mean he's up at

6:00 a.m., guys.

Is anyone in the house up

at up at 06:00 a.m.?

Every-Every chef I know

- You're up at 6:00 a.m.?

- is working 16 hours a day, dude.

[Hannah] We all are up

[Marciano] Every chef I know

is working 16 hours a day.

Then why don't you do things

in the house if you up at 6:00 a.m.?

Why don't you go in the kitchen?

Help him?

'Cause it's not our job,

we don't have to.

- What do you mean?

- [crosstalk]

[Priscila]

[scoffs] What a f*cking day.

I don't wanna get in any drama.

It's just too much

going on and when

Marciano say that,

it's like Chef Anthony's not

even here to defend himself.

So, that's not really fair.

- No, but Caroline, we do clean the dishes.

- I don't need to multitask.

- I don't need to multitask.

- We're doing that for you.

I helped you today.

Marciano is a d*uche bag.

He is self-centered,

he is entitled,

he's a 30-year-old man

who acts like a little b*tch.

[Marciano]

There's nothing more to say.

I'm just telling you

that there could be more.

[intense music playing]

[Anthony]

Well, well, well, there we go.

The kings of the castle.

[Caroline]

What were you up to?

[dramatic music playing]

[Anthony] Marciano can say

whatever he want,

it's not gonna change my day.

You know? I still gonna

sleep at night.

This is not Vegas,

we are in France

and I will love people

to enjoy the French dining the way

it's supposed to be.

That's what I get mad about.

I don't need, like,

Marciano to approve anything.

Like, I don't wait for him to

be where I am today, you know?

So, good for you, bro.

♪♪

[Andre] Why you over here acting like

you can take whatever you want?

[Marciano] Well, I'm not,

I'm not going to

'cause I don't want to

get yelled at, so

[Grace] I think it's a little

late for that one.

[intense music playing]

What am I gonna get

yelled at for, Grace? Tell me.

- For being a piece of sh*t. For that.

- Why?!

I'm tired of doing,

like, the whole, like,

try to find the good

in Marciano.

No, I think that he's

a piece of sh*t,

I hate the way that

he disrespects the chefs,

I hate the way

he talks to women.

I'm gonna make something

very, very clear.

Yes please, oh my

[bleep] please.

I do not [bleep] with you.

- Okay, why? Tell me why.

- I think you're arrogant

- Okay.

- I think you're an as*h*le.

I think that your comment

about the chefs was disgusting.

- I could've said you.

- Say me, say me.

- I could've said you.

- I do not give a [bleep].

- But you know what? I could've said you.

- But saying them,

are you on crack?

- They get paid the most. So I said

- I don't give a sh*t,

- because they do the most [bleep] work.

- You don't unders

- You're right, they do.

- They do!

So why the [bleep] would you

say something like that?

They should do more.

They don't do enough. That's it.

They do more, but you're out there

taking shots by the [bleep] pool?

You don't understand. Have you worked in

a nice restaurant before?

- No, I'm a [bleep] housekeeper!

- Okay, exactly!

- I clean up people's sh*t!

- So you don't work at a nice restaurant.

- I clean up people's sh*t.

- You don't work at a nice restaurant.

- Okay, then.

- Okay?

- So go clean up people's sh*t.

- You have no [bleep] idea.

- [bleep] you. [bleep] you.

- You have no idea, you don't know sh*t.

What the [bleep], Marciano?

[Marciano] You're [bleep] 23 years old.

You're a little spoiled brat.

- You and you're 30 years old.

- You're a spoiled brat.

And you are 30 years old

acting like a piece of sh*t!

[bleep] you.

God, I [bleep] hate him.

♪♪

Marciano can suck my [bleep].

[Lisa]

Next, on Vanderpump Villa

- I don't want do this.

- Just say it.

[Hannah]

Who the [bleep] just does that?

[sobbing]

Marciano, it wasn't acceptable.

Marciano, you're a piece of sh*t,

get the [bleep] out.

It's affected the whole

dynamic between the group,

and I just don't have the

confidence that I did have.

Sometimes, you have to have

a consequence.

[dramatic sting]

[shaky breaths]

[Telly]

I just moved to LA.

I literally lived

there for a week

before I came here,

so I know nothing.

[quirky music playing]

So I worked at this like,

really popping spot,

don't know how I got the job,

and I made a lot of,

like, strawberry, mango,

passion fruit, lemon drops.

Eventually it, like, got raided

by the police and shut down.

And I'm like, I'm not

going to jail for anybody.

Does Telly do anything else

besides talking about her life?

[Telly]

I really like bourbon smashes.

I graduated high school early.

I definitely, like, don't have,

like, a look type.

- No.

- I'm a Virgo.

I'm an August Virgo.

[intriguing theme

music playing]

[music fades out]