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01x08 - Hammer

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Consultant." Aired: February 24, 2023.*
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Regus Patoff, a mysterious consultant, comes to the rescue of CompWare, a mobile gaming company, after the m*rder of its CEO, and seemingly starts running the company.

01x08 - Hammer

Post by bunniefuu »

My name is Regus Patoff,

and I've traveled a very

long way to offer you a gift.

Describe him for me.

How much does he weigh?

You know, you're not at

all like he described you.

If it helps him to see

me as a monster, so be it.

Mother Sang had other arrangements.

- Where is she staying?

- She didn't say.

Inform marketing that

we're ready to launch.

Why don't we break an

elephant out of the zoo?

I like Elaine's the most.

I may have a job offer for you.

- He wants 30,000.

- The budget is 20.

I guess you don't got

yourself an elephant.

You're not walking

away from this, Patrice.

- When does it have to be done?

- Patti!

I went to Pomona but it's

not what it seems like.

And I shouldn't have lied

to you, I'm really sorry.

Break time.

I can't stand by ♪

To see you destroyed ♪

I can't be here ♪

And watch you burning ♪

You laugh for a moment ♪

You lie as a decoy ♪

Does it matter ♪

If I give in easy? ♪

So why ♪

Is it so hard to get by? ♪

Chaos on the streets

of downtown Los Angeles

earlier this morning.

A wild elephant brought

4th Street to a standstill.

We've learned the

35-year-old female elephant,

named Jumbo, was stolen late last night

from a traveling circus in Barstow.

She was later abandoned

in the arts district.

Police and animal control

moved in to subdue the elephant

and remove her before rush hour began.

Sadly, officials now

tell us that Jumbo died

- while being transported.

- Thanks for watching.

We have a lot more news

Open the door!

Well, the big f*cking grey lump died.

It was unforeseen circumstances.

Elaine, they're gonna

send me down for m*rder.

It's not m*rder! People

k*ll elephants all the time

- and post images online.

- You know what? f*ck this.

I'm going to San Pedro

until the heat dies down.

Where is my 10Gs?

Yes?

- Who are you?

- My name is Regus Patoff,

and I've traveled a very

long way to offer you a gift.

La-la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪

La-la-la la-la-la-la-la ♪

La-la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪

I just can't get you out of my head ♪

Boy, your loving

is all I think about ♪

I just can't get you out of my head ♪

Boy, it's more than

I dare to think about ♪

La-la-la-la-la la-la-la ♪

La-la-la la-la-la-la-la ♪

I just can't get you out of my head ♪

Boy, your loving

is all I think about ♪

I just can't get you out of my head ♪

- Hey, congratulations, man!

- Are you happy with it?

it's more than

I dare to think about ♪

Every night ♪

Every day ♪

Just to be there in your arms ♪

You Patoff?

Me? No.

I'm just one of the drones.

Hey, I just formally met

Patrice, what a special guy.

He won't leave until he gets paid.

Yeah, where is the throat f*ck?

He hasn't been in all

day and he's not answering

any of my calls.

Ah, I wrote down a

message for him earlier.

Where did I put it again?

Oh yeah.

We're closing in on a million

users in our first day.

You created a hit game.

You really wanna walk away from that?

What are you doing?

Are you working during an office party?

I'm updating my résumé.

There's a job coming up at Koala.

Executive vice president of development.

Hmm. Don't forget to

mention your experience

with k*lling endangered wildlife.

If I get my foot in

the door somewhere else,

I'll see if I can get

a position for you.

No one's gonna hire me again.

You're a talented coder, Craig.

You just gotta start

believing in yourself.

Hmm. Do you remember the

stalkerware I put on the demo?

- To get Patoff's contacts?

- Yeah.

It never got taken out of the code.

Our servers now hold data

on almost a million devices.

When they find that, I'm

gonna go down for 20 years.

Rock and roll.

All I do is win ♪

Win, win, no matter

what, got money on my mind ♪

I can never get enough ♪

Whenever me and Khaled do the

remix everybody hands go up ♪

And they stay there,

and they stay there ♪

And they stay there, up

down, up down, up down ♪

'Cause all I do is win ♪

Mr. Patoff? Where have you been all day?

I had an appointment.

My friend that we hired

to do that little job,

he's here.

He wants the $10,000.

It's spent.

Spent?

The party. It was a petty cash item.

$700 on jumbo shrimp

alone. Did you try it yet?

Patrice is here to collect.

Well, if I'm to believe the news,

the elephant died, did it not?

That's not our fault.

They shot her full of tranquillizers,

- and her heart gave out.

- Well, nevertheless

Our contract with Mr.

Patrice is null and void.

Mr. Patoff, I know Patrice,

and he has a very short fuse.

This is definitely going to light it.

He will become violent?

I can't rule it out.

We have less than a

minute to strategize.

What is the solution?

Uh, I don't know.

Well, he's frightened and desperate.

- He may accept half.

- We do not have half.

If we cannot pay him and

his temper is volatile,

what option do we have?

We could offer him $15,000

if he waits until morning.

Patrice is greedy enough to accept.

- It should buy us some time.

- With which to do what?

To give the police a person of interest,

an anonymous tip.

He's on parole. Then one

slip-up and he's back inside.

Where he cannot collect.

He's tagged. It shouldn't

take them long to find him.

Are we legally implicated

by your actions?

It's his reputation against ours.

The worst that could happen to us is

more publicity.

These are not comfortable

decisions, Elaine.

Sacrifices are hard but effective.

The hunter who felled the beast.

It is a pleasure to be in

business with you, Mr. Patrice.

- Where's my money?

- So direct and to the point.

I like that about you. But

indulge me for one moment.

I am yet to watch an elephant die.

Do they scream when they go?

I opened the cage and I got outta there.

When I left, it was still alive.

Casualty of w*r.

- You ever gonna let go?

- Oh! In business,

a handshake is where you

evaluate your opponent.

The first to release will always

be subservient to the other.

Well, the next thing you're

gonna put in this hand is 10Gs.

You get me?

Elaine is arranging

payment, and a little bonus

from your friends at CompWare.

Oh, while we wait, you'll

accompany me on an errand?

Ow!

Craig, come have a turn.

- You okay?

- Yeah!

- Stand back.

- Okay.

Jeez, Craig. Even I made

it up to "good effort."

Someone is so mad!

And I've never known

a girl like you before ♪

Never known a girl like you before ♪

Ever baked-out the airlock?

Oh we used to do it all the

- time when Sang was here.

- What if someone comes in?

I'll lock the door behind us. Come on.

We'll just sneak out the other door.

Now just like in a

song from days of yore ♪

I will serve,

and you will receive.

You fascinate me, Mr. Patrice.

All I know from Elaine is

that you will steal an elephant

for $20,000, but tell me more.

What could she get you to do for 50?

- One hundred?

- I don't work for Elaine.

I'd rather talk directly to the man.

Rest assured.

When she negotiates on your

price to take a human life,

you'll know that it's on my behalf.

Elaine wouldn't get involved

in something like that.

I think you'll be surprised

at what she's now capable of.

I got a lot of heat on me right

now. I don't wanna be picked up

- with that much cash.

- You're leaving? So soon?

I'll be back in the

morning. Have it ready.

I win.

And now you've come along ♪

Yes you've come along ♪

And I've never met a

girl like you before ♪

It's all right, yeah,

it's all right, yeah ♪

It's all right, yeah, it's all right ♪

Hey, Elaine.

I was thinking earlier.

It feels like it might be a

good time for us to swap back.

- What?

- My office.

I'd like it back now.

I'll tell you what, Iain.

Why don't you try and take it from me?

Yeah, it's all right,

yeah, it's all right, yeah ♪

It's all right, yeah, it's all right ♪

It's all right, yeah,

it's all right, yeah ♪

Every time ♪

I think of you ♪

It's no problem of mine

but it's a problem I find ♪

I'm gonna miss these weird f*ck.

- You're not quitting.

- Says who.

Says the person who's

heard it 3,000 times before.

The wisdom of a fool

won't set you free ♪

But that's the way that it goes ♪

And it's what nobody knows ♪

And every day my confusion grows ♪

All right. I'm gonna order a car.

I'm good to drive.

Every time I see you falling ♪

Should we, uh

should we grab a chunk of that cake

and then head to mine?

Or we could go to mine.

The Valley

You don't wanna drive 30

minutes for sex and cake?

I feel fine and I feel good ♪

- f*ck.

- Go ahead.

- No.

- Open it.

- Yeah.

Whenever I get this way ♪

I haven't heard from

her in a couple of days.

Why can't we be ourselves

like we were yesterday? ♪

- I'm not sure ♪

- Okay.

Either somebody took her

phone or she learned Japanese.

It's in Korean. Translate it.

Then I'll never see just

what we're meant to be ♪

"Please more money soon."

Can you locate her phone?

No, I didn't put a tracking

device on my fiancée's devices.

Did she download the game?

Every time I see you falling ♪

Oh, wait, wait, wait. It's just up here.

They're still playing?

Wow. People must actually

like this piece of sh*t.

Down here.

Mama Sang?

Creative liaison.

Elaine Hayman.

What are you doing here?

Mr. Sang's Jungle Odyssey.

He is alive.

Did did you send us

a text asking for money?

To Regus.

He is very kind to me.

He give me a place to

live. He teach me English.

He give me my first phone.

Patoff gave you this phone?

- Hey! Where is she?

- Patricia is helping me

complete some small

administrative matters

before I depart.

Did you know she types

57 words a minute?

She's saved me a great deal of time.

The records room.

You find her. I'm gonna deal with him.

Oh, Craig.

You're not equipped for this.

Patti?

What are you doing here?

Patti provided me with

valuable information, Craig.

I was unable to complete

your file without her.

She's seen your weakness, your betrayal.

She poured it out on every

page, in her own words.

We need to go.

Mr. Patoff needs these by five o'clock.

What did he do to you?

Elaine?

You're having a panic attack, Craig.

Breathe with me.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

In

Out.

I weigh 162 pounds.

What about you, Mr. Patoff?

Our friend, the jeweler,

has a fanciful imagination.

He's inhaled too many fumes.

How many lives have you ruined?

How many careers have you ended?

Some people excel under

stress. Some break.

We already know about

you, Craig, do we not?

Ah!

Patti.

Look at me. You don't work for him.

None of us do. He's just the consultant.

Where's Craig?

He's here. He came to rescue you.

Who the f*ck are you?

- Consultant.

- One who consults.

Providing professional or expert

advice in a particular field

of science or business to an

organization or individual.

Ah!

You don't even know what we do.

It's of no consequence.

My job is to observe, to

streamline, to improve.

My targets were met.

Costs justified.

Costs?

This is the real world, Craig.

People get hurt. People panic.

People fail.

You're not the hero.

You don't even get the girl.

Oh my God!

- Elaine Hayman?

- Yes.

We'd like to ask you some questions

about your relationship

with Patrice Anderson.

Did I pay Patrice $10,000

to steal an elephant?

I'm just the creative liaison.

Recruitment falls under

the jurisdiction of my boss,

Mr. Patoff.

Regus Patoff.

I say "boss."

He's more of a consultant.

He doesn't have any authority.

He doesn't understand what we do.

He doesn't take a commission.

He just showed up one day,

and took over.

He elevated us.

He motivated us.

He changed our methods.

He showed us all what we're capable of.

All I can really tell

you about Regus Patoff

he gets results.

Shares for robotics firm Pterodactyl

lost 22% of their value yesterday.

The drop comes on the heels

of the apparent suicide

of the firm's founder, Rebecca Hood.

Hood started Pterodactyl

in her garage in 2018

using a crowdfunding campaign.

She strived to develop the

first humanoid workforce.