01x08 - Show Me the Way

[bunniefuu]

Wake up, gentlemen!
Good morning!

Shake off that morning wood.
It's another beautiful day.

OK, wake up!
Open those f*cking eyes.

Here we go.
All right, listen up.

In about 50 minutes, we got
morning meeting led by me.

That's right.
We all know that.

After that,
it's a banging breakfast.

We got pancakes,
we got scrambled eggs,

we got French toast,
Texas toast,

every f*cking toast you want.

All right, listen, after that,
we have 45...

- f*ck, f*ck.
- Minutes of free time, boys.

And after that,
we got some m*therf*cking

group therapy, right?

Yeah.

That's when we
open ourselves up

and we change the universe,
all right?

That is followed
by a nonmandatory

arts and crafts session
with the lovely Betty.

Betty has been
making bracelets

in the greater Tarrytown area
for the past 40 years.

Let's give a warm
welcome for Betty,

and nobody ask her
about her deceased husband

this time, all right?

I think it's gonna be
the best day

of our lives today, boys.

Let's do it! Peace out.

- How you doing today?
- OK, sir.

What drugs are you
trying to get into?

- Huh?
- What you want?

Some painkillers?
What they got you on?

Oh, they got you
on that sh*t, bro.

Whoa!

You going to have a good day.

I'm just--
we're just bringing some

of these upstairs
because we have extra.

That's cool, man.

No, you do whatever
you got to do.

Yeah, it is cool.

Mind your business.

What we do back here,
don't worry about.

Don't f*ck with me.

I do your meds.

I can give you meds
that give you t*tties.

- t*tties?
- He'll really do it.

He's done it.
Gave a guy milkers.

- Milkers?
- What up, Nelson?

f*ck you!

Looking cute today, baby.

That's my guy right there.

Not gonna cheek that,
are you?

Huh?

You know,
hide the pill in your cheek.

A lot of guys here think
they're really smart.

They pretend
to take their meds,

then they go up in their room,
and they crush the pills,

and they snort it.

Are you a cheeker?

No, sir.

That's good.

Ah.

I'll be keeping an eye
on those cheeks regardless.

Ok.

Good job, boss.

All right. Let's start.

Donnie, take it away.

Hey, guys.
Name's Donnie.

- Hi, Donnie.
- Hey, Donnie.

And I'm here
because of the f*cking Giants.

We talked about this already.

You're supposed
to move past that.

Well, you know,
years of betting on this team,

I lost everything.

I lost my family,
I lost my businesses,

but I don't give a f*ck
because I'm loyal.

I'm loyal.
I'm staying in it.

I'm gonna be there next week.
Not like my wife.

f*cking b*tch.

I don't give a sh*t, OK?
And I'll be honest with you.

I think we got a shot
this year, you know?

I'm taking the points because
they're going to cover, OK?

They're going to cover.

All right.

Thank you for sharing.

Joey.

Uh, hi, I'm Joey.

Hey, Joey.

I am here
because I hurt and I lied

to everybody
I've ever cared about,

and it was 100%
the right decision

'cause it got me more cocaine.

Cocaine.

That sweet manna given
to us by God in exchange

for all the ways
He has wronged us.

I mean, the convulsions of
bliss surfing through my body

after each bump,
it's irreplaceable!

OK, enough of that.

You ever look into the eyes

of a newborn child
and you know,

that's my flesh and blood?

Yeah?

Well, that is dog sh*t
in comparison

to a half a gram
of decent coke.

OK. All right, Joey.

Don't you think
maybe that's enough?

Do I think it's enough?
I obviously don't.

Hey, I'm Cam'Ron.

I just needed time off
from my schedule,

so I told them I was
addicted to nuke.

That's not even a drug.

I seen that sh*t
in "Robocop 2."

Jadakiss.

Eli Manning.

Quarterback, Ole Miss.

Eli?

- Pete.
- Huh?

Please, introduce
yourself to the room.

Um--

I am Pete--

Ha-ha, found your a*s.

Gentlemen.

Hello, everybody.
Hello, hello, hello.

My dude.

Are you real?

- What?
- Are you real?

What the f*ck are
you talking about?

- Yes, I'm real.
- I'm sorry.

I'm just having
a f*cking weird day, dude.

Yeah.
Like, this party sucks.

Let's go smoke a joint.

We're in f*cking rehab.

- What?
- It's-it's--

it's rehab.

Ah.

OK, yeah, see,

Amy gave me the address,
but she did not tell me

that this is where I was going.

Hey, guys, we're all
here to get better, OK?

So who the f*ck are you?

Uh, I'm Colson.

- Hi, Colson.
- Hi, Colson.

Hi, Machine g*n Kelly.

He even knows who you are.

Let me just state
for the group,

You guys might be big shots

outside those doors,
but inside here,

you're nobody, OK?

Celebrity means nothing here.

In here, we're all equals.

We're all here to get better.

Yeah, listen to Michael,
you guys.

This place is pretty awesome.

You just have to come in here
about seven or eight times

for it to actually work.

How many times
has this been for you?

Like, a soft five.

I've been here 15 times, OK?

And now the world
is my f*cking oyster.

Hey, Amy.

Hey, Evan. Listen.

Pete is not returning
any of my calls.

Yeah, well,
he's in rehab, you know?

So, uh, I'm sure they,
like, took his phone.

I just want
to make sure he knows

about Casey's graduation,
all right?

She's been working really hard.
She deserves to be celebrated.

I'm tired of her feeling
like she's being punished

for being the good kid, OK?

Pete should be there.

Yeah, um,
I'll make sure he knows.

You know, I support
everything he's doing there,

but I'd really like
for Pete to be there.

So can I write him
a note or something?

I mean, I promise we
won't give him any drugs.

I won't even give him aspirin.
He'll drink Sprite.

Yeah, I'm not really sure
that's how rehab works,

but, uh, yeah, yeah.

- You do that.
- All right, bye.

Bye.

Follow the lady.
Keep your eyes peeled.

Watch.

All right.

Ooh, the blue ones!

These are my favorite.

They make me forget
my childhood.

Mm!

Hello, Donald.

- Hey.
- You got a sec?

Yeah.

How you doing?
Feeling at home here?

I'm going to see Betty.

Make a bracelet
for my daughter.

Hey, let me ask
you a question.

Quick question.
It'll only take a second.

Yeah?

Are you and me gonna
have a f*cking problem?

What are you talking about?

- What am I talking about?
- Yeah.

- Are you a cheeker?
- I got to--

I got to make a bracelet.

- Come here.
- Yeah?

Spit it out.

- I don't--
- Spit it the f*ck out.

I'm sorry.

You proud of yourself?

- I'm not.
- All right.

Guess who's not going
to movie night tonight?

Get the f*ck out of here.

You cheeking?

You cheeking, Pete?

Hey, Father, um, it's--

it's been 20 years
since my last confession.

Um, I'm not really sure

if what I've done
could even really be forgiven.

Do not worry, my son.

There's nothing
our Father can't forgive.

There's nothing
He hasn't heard.

Ok.

Well, um--

I, uh...

It was actually pretty nice...

- I got to get out of here.
- Take it easy, boy.

Listen, I'm John L Sullivan,
a Hollywood director.

Somebody slugged me.
I got to get out of here.

A Hollywood what?

- Take it easy, will you?

- Knock, knock.

Hey, what are you doing here?

Come to take you
to your treatment.

Eh, don't worry about it.

I'm using
their Russian car service.

- They let me smoke in the car.
- Yeah, I know.

I'm going to take you.

And, uh, we have Casey's
graduation in a few days.

- You remember, right?
- Mm-hmm, I know all about it.

I'm gonna figure it out.
I'll be there.

Don't worry.

And I don't need you to take me
to the hospital, either.

I know I don't need to.
Why should you go by yourself?

Because I don't want
anybody seeing me like that.

Yeah, God forbid someone sees
you in a moment of weakness.

It'll shatter the illusion.

Listen, I'm a big girl.

I want to spend as much time
with my dad as I can,

so will you stop
being such a jerk

and let's get out of here?

Listen, where I come from,
you don't talk about it,

you don't complain about it.

It's your time to go,
you just go,

so that's what it's about.

You have
my permission to die.

Thank you.

I would like to spend
a little bit of time

with you before that,
if that is all right.

So please,
can we get out of here?

Uh, Amy, Amy, Amy.

What am I gonna do with you?

Shanks.

- Shwelcome.

Forest Point?

Hi, I need to get
a message to a resident.

Well, which one?

He's under the
name Hank Mardukus.

Yeah, we don't have
a Hank Mardukus here.

He's, uh,
in the entertainment field.

Yeah, we got a lot of people

in the entertainment
field here.

We got MGK just walked in,
Paul Hauser,

Pete Davidson--
is it one of the white ones?

Um, yeah.
It's Pete Davidson.

Can I talk to him?

Uh, yeah, no.

Why the f*ck am I in here, man?

I got to stop wandering.

Can I just take a look?

- Mm.
- Peter, please.

I wish I understood
why you do this to yourself.

It's not your fault.
I'm sorry.

Mom, please don't make me go.

Honey, they are gonna
help you feel better, OK?

- It's gonna be so good.
- I'll be good, I promise.

You got to trust me,
all right?

It's gonna be great.

I love you. Come on.

Sup? What's going on?

We have a surprise for you.

Gentlemen?

Ta-da.

What's that for?

That's the key
to the medicine cabinet.

Turn up.

Me and the Benjamins
thank you.

We do cool stuff
like this all the time.

Pleasure doing
business with you, man.

If you need anything,
just hit me.

- Cool.
- All right.

We're gonna get
f*cked up tonight.

Flying it into you.

Oh, here you go.

I haven't had,
like, a good bro down,

like--you know what it is?

There's no TV,
so we actually have

to talk to each other.

We got some sh*t,
that's right.

Oh, I don't think
I did it right.

Oh, I kind of feel
like doing the Jim Carrey

"Ace Ventura" where
he goes up to the bench

and he's just--

Crazy.

You know what's funny
about "Ace Ventura"?

That movie can't really be
made now because it's, like,

offensive to trans people.

Oh!
Sean Young at the end--

Yeah, dude!
But he literally goes--

"He saw Mr. Winky!"

And then she shows
the f*cking c*ck,

and they're all like,
oh, oh, oh!

Like, Dan Marino
is like, oh, oh!

Yeah, and you know
what else aged poorly?

- What?
- Vietnam.

Got some stress
in there, dude.

Oh, sh*t.

I just put my cigarette
out on my face.

Good thing
you have a beard, dude.

It smells like burning hair.

Ah!

Now I'm just putting
it out on my face.

There it is.

- Oh!
- Now it's gone.

There it is. There it is.

It's off. It's OK.

I woke up today,
and I thought about you.

It wasn't the linger
of victory or a trinket

from my heart's time capsule.

You were an advertisement
on the side of a bus,

driven slow enough
to read the sign,

but fast enough
to let my shame dance

with fertile hatred.

I'm sorry
that I missed your birth.

I'm going to try not
to miss your life.

And maybe if I
don't miss your life,

I won't miss mine.

That's deep.

- Show me the way to go home!
- Show me the way!

I'm tired and I
want to go to bed!

Want to go to bed!

- Oh, sh*t!
- What the f*ck?

What's going on guys?

You guys having
a little party, huh?

I didn't get the Evite.

Must have been
in my spam folder, huh?

Really hurt my feelings,

all you guys
having fun out here.

Huh?

Well, don't stop
the festivities on my account.

Just keep going, huh?
Let's go all night.

Let's go all f*cking night.

I was actually gonna
go to sleep, so, uh--

So you guys are done?

OK, do you mind if I
clean up a little bit?

Oh!

I want every one
of you guys out of here.

- Bad.
- Party's over, assholes.

Yeah.

I want everybody gone before
I really get f*cking angry.

- You're not really angry?
- This is inappropriate.

Everybody out of here.

You are f*cking fired,
all three of you.

Dang. What?

You're lucky I'm not
having you arrested.

Arrested?
Snitch.

Sir, um, if I may--

You may.
You have the floor.

You have the magic conch shell.

Explain, please.

This is actually
all my fault,

and, uh, I broke in,
I got the key, got the drugs.

This is because of me,
so please don't blame--

Wow. Wow!
That's--rappers.

So you forced
these poor victims.

You put the drugs in their
throat, made them swallow it.

Is that what happened?

Well--

Actually, yes.

That is what happened
because I drugged them--

- Wow!
- And I'm really sorry.

Real rock and roll, dude.

You drugged them
to take drugs?

Uh--

I mashed them
into their potatoes--

Wow.

And watched them eat it.

- Disappointing.
- And I was a fan.

I used to want to go
on the road with you.

I still do.

OK, here's what's
going to happen.

Colson, you're going
to pack your bags.

You're going to get the f*ck
out of here right now.

Ah, man,
I really liked rehab.

I want to stay here longer.

- Hit me when you get to LA.
- I got you, dog.

- OK.
- Peter?

I expect a lot more from you.

I'll put
this incident behind me,

and I expect you to step up.

You too, Paul Hauser.

Psst, are we still fired?

No. Clean it up.

Sick.

I'm sorry.

You got this.

You're not going to help us?

Yeah.

You hanging in there?

I feel like I've got
an elephant on my head.

You can have
a little lie down after.

I sent everybody directions
for this graduation.

I just hope they know
where they're going.

Stop worrying.
You worry too much.

- That's my job.
- Yeah.

I'd wish more for you,
but I guess I wasn't

the greatest father
in the world.

I don't know.
You were up there.

Well, I was up there,
all right.

Just wasn't around
all the time.

You know,
when you were a little girl,

I used to go singing
in lounges every month,

and I wound up leaving
your mother home alone

with you and your sisters.

I think about it
when I get old.

It was a little selfish,
I guess, you know?

You were doing
what made you happy.

That made us happy.

Did it really make you happy?

It really did.

You know, I wish
the same for you, really.

Make yourself happy.
Enjoy your life.

Don't worry about everybody
else so much.

You know, I started
playing basketball again.

- Get out of here.
- Yeah.

- I'm still pretty good.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- I can't believe it.

- Believe it.
- Oh, my God.

That's what I'm talking about.
See?

That's nice.
That's good.

Oh, good for you.

- Oh, Pop.
- That's my girl.

What about the kid?

You think the kid's
gonna be all right?

Yeah.

Because I am your daughter,

and I am the strongest woman
you know.

Hey.

Look like
you could use a friend.

Could use more than a friend.

- What's peeling your d*ck?
- What?

What's, uh,
f*cking chappin' your a*s?

I don't know.
What's going on?

I don't know, I'm just--

f*cking embarrassed.

I'm embarrassed.

I'm, uh, just kind of ashamed.

I, um--I don't know.

Just--

I'm always confused why,
uh, nothing really

works out for me, you know?

It's my f*cking fault.

It's--I always think
the world's out to get me,

but it's-it's me, you know?

I, uh, act like a f*cking c**t,

and so many people

have seen me
in a really bad way,

and that's, like,
hard to live with, you know?

It's getting f*cking
really old, you know I mean?

I'm literally everything I--

I hate.

I'm like what, if I wasn't me,

me and my boys would
be making fun of me.

You know?

Like, we'd be like,
look at that f*cking tool.

And, um, I just--

I feel like
I'm running out of options.

I've been doing this
for a long time,

and what I hear
is that you're ready.

Follow me into the woods.

Come on.
What are you afraid of?

Think I'm gonna
f*ck you in the woods?

All right.

Just want you to picture
in your head everything

that hurts you,
everything that you hate,

everything that keeps you up
at 6:00 a.m.

Don't tell me what it is.

Just picture it
in your head, OK?

Here's the important part.

Scream.

Dude, you're not gonna
f*cking "Honey Boy" me, OK?

You think you can just take me

in the woods
and fix everything--

Wow, sh*t.

- Now you do it.
- Huh?

You do it.

Agh!

The f*ck was that?

OK, now do it for real.

Scream.

Like a man
in the f*cking woods, scream.

Yeah, come on.

- That was real good.
- That felt f*cking good.

- Look at me.
- Yeah?

Now, what matters?

- What?
- Look!

- What matters?
- What are you talking--

- What matters?
- I don't know.

What the f*ck
are you talking about?

- What f*cking matters?
- I don't f*cking know.

- What matters!
- I don't know!

Here, here.

- What?
- Find it.

Find it,
or you're going to die.

I get it.
I f*cking get it.

- Good.
- I get it.

Holy sh*t.
Thank you.

You're a f*cking wizard.
You fixed me.

You fixed me.

Fixed me.

I didn't fix you.
We just started.

- I got somewhere I got to be.
- Wait, wait.

- We're not done.
- You fixed me, buddy.

- Wait, we just started.
- Farthest point, baby, yeah!

You've been here
four f*cking days.

- f*ck!
- Come on back.

We're just getting warmed up.

I'm cured!

You're still a drug addict.

Pete Davidson?

What the f*ck are you
doing up here, man?

No!
No, no, no, no.

Not again.
I am not doing this again.

You stay the f*ck away
from me, Ray Romano.

What are you doing?
I'm up here fishing.

- What's going on?
- Fishing for what?

Poon?
f*ck you, dude!

Hey, Pete!

I'm a fan, man!

f*ck.

That was Pete Davidson.

Casey's graduation
is tomorrow.

Casey's graduation--

You don't have
to come to my graduation.

What you're doing
is really important.

You don't have
to worry about me.

I'll always be OK.

I'm proud of you.

Ouch!

f*ck.