01x05 - You're a Sexy f*cking Mess

[bunniefuu]

If you
could just sit tight,

I'll take your statement
in a minute, love.

Hey, Viv?

It's okay.

Just breathe. Breathe.

Now come on. Come inside.

Right now.

Vivian.

Hey.

Vivian.

Let's go. Let's
go inside, yeah?

Hi?

Hello. We're so
sorry to disturb you.

I'm James and this
is my mum, Nina.

We're Louis' family.

Oh.

The police told us
someone was here when...

Someone was his friend?

That we could speak to her?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Um...

It was Vivian. She's
in bed, I'm afraid.

Just might need a
little more time...

It's ok.

I want to talk to them.

- I guess...
- We want to know what happened.

Of course you do.

I was standing out by the ledge.

I'd just come back from
being with family and...

I heard this rustling
noise behind me.

Look, you have to know.

He was in a bad
mood the day before.

He told me...

the world was going to sh*t
and I didn't correct him.

I agreed.

I agreed.

And I told him he'd have
to accept how it was,

but I didn't realise...

My brother was unwell.

He'd been unwell for a while.

I didn't know.

Not many did.

The '50s thing was fun, but...

it was his way of simplifying
a world he didn't understand.

That he felt like
he didn't fit into.

I'd come home from
boarding school

because it wasn't working.

He was in a very bad way.

And last week I just lay
there next to him thinking...

"If only I could...

If only I could get
up there in your head.

Hear what you hear.

Maybe worry about
some of it for you."

Mum. Mum!

My Louis!

My Louis!

Louis!

Louis!

Come back to me, Louis!

My Louis.

Oh, my Louis.

- Come on, mum.
- No, no, no.

- Come on.
- I don't want...

- I don't want to leave my son.
- Neither do I, mum.

Come on. I've got you.

Louis.

This is his.

What's wrong with you?

Why did you say those things?

Why did you say those
things to my son?

Why?

You should've grabbed him!

Why didn't you grab him?

Why didn't you grab him?

Vivian.

- Vivian?
- Yep?

You know this isn't
your fault right?

She's grieving, she's in pain,

but I know you've been
through so much as well,

so things are gonna
hit you differently.

Where are you going?

I'm totally, completely fine.

What? Wh...

- Hey. Morning.
- Hi.

Umm.

I wasn't expecting to see you?

What's up?

Nothing much. Just my day off.

- How have you been?
- Great. Let's have sex.

Listen, this is really nice,

but this has probably been a
really hard few days for you.

And I think we probably need
some time to process it.

I think you probably
need some time.

It's nice you think you
know what I need, Dane.

But in my experience
this is what I need.

Sex from you.

Sex. Cool.

Or we could just kiss?

I like sex.

Or... Or we could dry hump?

I thought you said you liked me?

This is what people
who like each other do.

- Where's your room?
- We should... We should...

Jesus, you're even
more ripped up close.

I... I jog when I'm anxious.

You look really nice.

You look...

even more nice now.

Hold on for one second.

I like you.

Right. I thought
we'd covered that.

I know. I just... I
thought I'd say it again.

Harder.

Harder.

I just... I just...

I think you're sort of
an amazing person, Viv.

And I'm just really glad
I'm doing this with you.

- Stop. Just stop.
- I'm sorry?

What the f*ck are
you doing, Dane?

- Umm. Is it in the wrong...
- No!

I'll tell you when to
touch my face, weirdo!

And why are you saying
all this weird sh*t?

It's not what I need right now.

I thought you said that's
exactly what you needed, Viv?

Yeah, before I realised you
were f*cking in The Notebook!

Viv!

Vivian! Oh, mum!

Why aren't you at Zumba?

Vivian, what the hell happened?

Did you just...

Was Dane okay?

Why don't we go
home? Have some tea.

I have plans.

- Ok, well...

Don't wait up.

Well, it's just that

we were gonna pickup my
furniture from George's today?

I can cancel, it's fine, but
you booked the truck, so...

Shut up! Read the room.
I want to be alone.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

sh*t.

Hello?

Come in! It's open!

Are you turning your
house into a vag*na?

Have you been around
many of those?

- Point well made.

It's for the Twins'
birthday party.

I have made an
executive decision.

Inspiring Women from History.

Mmhmm. Yeah.

Hendrix! John is here!

Coming!

- What's this?
- Boobies.

What's all this?

Oh! I don't know. A little...

party planning, maybe?

Babe.

I know.

Oh, Babe, it can't be!

Inspiring Women from History?

- I don't get it.
- It's my Pinterest pipe dream.

I've been wanting to
pull this out of the bag

ever since the girls were born.

- So three years?
- Ah, it's...

very, very complicated, though.

It requires a lot of research,

lots of punning.

You sure you've got time?

Yes, of course.

- Seriously?
- Yes, yes, yes.

You always do birthday parties
and the girls will love it.

So you boys go and have fun.

You're the best.
She's the best. Ah!

Ok, we'll get out of your hair.

Okay, bye. Oh!

Whoops.

- Bye!
- Yeah.

Let's do this!

So, um, ready to hit
this green, mate?

- Yeah. Sure... mate.
- Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So call her.

Hey, you've
got Viv. I'd say leave a message,

but no one listens to those.

Dane?

You're probably
not there, but...

In case you are...

My first time was
in a break room

of a Greek restaurant.

His name was Elias.

He had nice eyes
and wore a lanyard.

- I have a thing for lanyards.

I think it suggests a
certain level of competency.

We watched Dawson's Creek
while we did it and...

it was over before
the theme song ended.

I cried, because it hurt,

so he gave me some pita
bread to take home.

Anyway...

I just know how
much it can suck.

So I hope you're ok.

I must admit, man.

I was pretty surprised
to get your call.

- Yeah?
- Why's that?

You hate golf.

You've avoided
coming for ten years.

You said it was for rich pricks

who weren't fit enough
for contact sports.

Okay. I don't think those
were my exact words. But...

I know granddad used
to take you out here

and I thought...

that it was something we
could maybe try and...

keep up.

Yeah.

I like that. Cool.

He used to talk to you about...

the big stuff

Yeah, you know like...

Like man stuff?

Define "man stuff"?

I dunno. Stuff...

Stuff that stays between us men?

Oh, he just used
to talk about golf a lot.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Although there was this one time

where he told me he had
really bad haemorrhoids,

and we had to stop gameplay.

Is that the kind
of thing you mean?

Yeah. Yeah. Ballpark.

Yeah, no. I thought we could
maybe talk about Laura or...

- Right. Okay.
- Mmm. Mmm.

- What about Laura?
- I dunno.

How you guys were... doing?

We're doing
really great. Thanks, mate.

- Okay. Okay, you're great.
- Just said we were great.

- Yeah, 'cause if you weren't...
- John, will you shut up

and just let me take the shot?

You hit
me in the face.

No. No, I didn't.

No. No. I was exasperated,
with my hands,

and the club accidentally
flew into your face.

I can taste metal! I
can taste metal, and...

- grass!
- Well, I don't know why that is,

because the club didn't
make contact at all.

Okay, what is going on, Hendrix?

What do you mean?
Nothing is going on.

Vivian told me that you guys
haven't f*cked in a year.

- f*ck man, don't say "f*ck".
- Why not?

You guys get to say it.

What's going on?
Do you need help?

Do you need sex tips?
If so, I can help you.

- It's very simple. First off...
- No!

No, no, no!

- Please God, no!
- Well then tell...

That's not what it's even about!

Okay then what is
it about, Hendrix?

- Get off, John!
- Stop it!

Listen to me. Listen...

- What are you doing?

f*ck! f*ck! f*ck!

- You're hurting me!
- You're hurting me!

- You can end this!
- So can you!

I told you, there's
nothing going on.

No, no, no!

You said it wasn't about
sex. What is it about?

- What is it...

- What the f*ck?

Come back here! Hendrix!

- Hendrix! I'm gonna k*ll you.

Stop! Stop! Time
out. Time out.

"Sorry to muck you around."

Ok. You're not meant
to be out here yet.

I... I have
a surprise for you.

Just give me one hot second.

So I know Vivian's not
here to help you today.

And I also know how passionate
you are about your sleep,

so I brought you a bed.

It's not your bed. It's
a new bed, but still...

Ames?

I'm just not sure this is...

appropriate, George.

Okay.

Yep.

Sorry. I was just...

in the area for work and
I started thinking about

all the potentially horrific
things you were sleeping on.

Um...

I know this is...

I guess this is just my
way of supporting you.

You can keep it. I mean,
we got a bunch of free ones

because we partnered
with them for the app.

George.

I guess...

you can take it inside?

Really?

You sure?

You're here.

You can go after that.

Where do you want it?

Upstairs where the workbench is.

- You're sleeping on a workbench?
- Mmhmm.

Dear God, it's worse
than I thought.

Shut up.

- All right. You grab the frame.
- Okay.

I'll grab this
mattress.

Lucky I've been working out.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Come back here,
you little sissy!

Whatever it is, I
can sort it out.

No! We sorted it out.

- She said we were fine!
- Fine?

Charles and Diana had better
chemistry at their wedding!

- Oh? Oh?
- Yeah! Yeah!

Ok, well and you think
your boyfriend's so hot?

Yes. I do, actually.

Okay. Well then.

You may be correct
but...

- What are you doing?

- Stop it!

What are you doing?

Was that sand?

- No! Get off!
- Get off of me!

Oh! Ah! My leg!

Stop for a moment please.

- Stop.

What? Oh!

Oh my f*cking God, b*tch!

Ritchie said you were dead!

Dead?

What do you mean dead?

Like, dead.
Like, deceased.

He said he was going to your
funeral like, a month ago?

You guys mean my
granddad's funeral?

Oh!

That makes way more sense!

Such a f*cking nob that guy.

We were so devs about it.

We were gonna come.
Oh, we were gonna come.

It's just you know
how triggered I get.

And my psyche says that I
need one day a week for me,

and it was that day.

And I... I had tennis.

Guys. We don't
need to talk about

my hypothetical funeral, okay?

- Jesus.
- So why haven't we seen you?

- I moved.
- Oh. Where?

- Dalton's Crevice.
- Why?

My nan lives there and
says it's all old people.

And they only have a Coles.

She's right about
both those things.

So, what have you
guys been doing?

We do reels now.

- I'm Candy flipping.
- What's that?

It's where you take
E and Acid together.

It's for my screenplay.

It's mad good for ideas.

It makes your
imagination so vivid.

I mean, my friend Katy took
it and forgot who she was,

then had a full blown psychosis,

but you know I think that's
just her personality.

I'd be down for that.

No
peeking. No peeking.

Ready?

What do you think?

I think...

I don't know why you
insist on doing that,

- when I built most of it myself.
- Oh, yeah.

But...

thank you.

So where's Viv today?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

Well...

She's gone.

She...

She was...

really upset.

And she...

Oh, sh*t. Hey, hey. What's up?

A boy died here.

Last week.

And he was our friend.

And she left this morning,

and I can't get through to her

and I don't know where she is,

and I am so worried.

Ames. Oh. Hey.

I'm so sorry.

- No.
- Come on. It's okay.

Mm! No, it's not.

I'm sorry. I...

You left me because I...

treated you badly.

Well, we had faults, but...

Viv...

What?

She's a f*cking hurricane, Amy!

I clocked it the
moment I met her.

A boy dies and she bails on you?

She's upset. So are you.

Look, I know you like to
see the best in people

and it's very sweet,

but maybe she doesn't
care about you

the way you think she does.

She cares about me in
the way that counts!

She lets me be myself.

I feel like myself here.

Vivian doesn't make me feel
like I'm gonna disappear.

Amy.

You're wrong.

I love all of you.

And I think you still love me.

I just don't believe you.

I'm sorry.

You should go home.

Hendrix.
Hendrix, slow down.

Oh, come on.

This is why I don't play golf.

Oh my god.

f*ck!

All right, I'm sorry, Hendrix.

These were grandad's
clubs, John!

I know, I know. I know.

I was just... I was
just trying to help.

Hey listen, listen
to me, Hendrix.

Ever since mum and dad died,

your grief response

has been to create this, this,
this perfect little family.

Yeah and I get it. I get it.

You lost your last one.

But you cannot keep ignoring

what's going on inside this one

because you're afraid of
losing it too. You can't.

What? Why you laughing?

- What?
- Because.

This is your grief
response, John.

Can't you see that?

When they died, you
latched onto Viv.

Now you're not allowed to do
that, so you went straight for me.

I mean heaven forbid you
actually feel something, right?

Actually grieve 'em.

At least I did that.

What?

What'd I say?

This
sh*t's amazing!

Come on!

Mum?

What time will you be back?

Louie, I'm so sorry.

Viv babe!

Yeah.

Mm, yeah, I love
the way you do that.

Yeah. Who's your daddy?

Who's... Who's the king? Oh.

Yeah, what's my name?
Ritchie, girl. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, baby. Oh,
who's your daddy?

- Yeah, it's Ritchie.
-

- Who the f*ck are you?
- Who the f*ck are you!?

Amy! And those
are my Sharecrows!

- m*therf*cker.
- Stop it!

Stop humping them!

- Stop it!
- Ow!

- Amy!
- Stop it!

What the f*ck are you doing?

Vivian, this greasy man
has destroyed our garden!

He's fine!

- He's with you?
- Yeah. He's a friend.

- Well, tell him to leave!
- No.

Look, I know you
have had a tough day,

but so have I and now it's time
we come together and sort it.

This chick your
mum or something?

His aura is black
and purple-brown!

What's purple-brown?

Insecurity.

Tell him to leave our garden!

I'm sorry. "Our garden"?

The last time I checked, Amy,

this didn't belong
to you at all.

Oh sh*t!

- My bad.
- Oh, leave them!

- Leave them alone!
- What are you doing?

They're a bunch of f*cking
rocks, you space cadet!

I'm out.

So, mystery solved, hey?

Our big message from Walt.

Vivian, stop.

You know, for a stupid
fleeting second,

I actually started to
believe your bullshit.

That we were meant to
be here or something.

But the truth is, Amy...

if you'd rolled just
a little further

down the road that night,

you probably would've met a
pigeon outside the 7-Eleven

who told you your destiny
was manning the slushie desk.

No. No, that's not true.

It is.

You just won't
f*cking listen to me.

You never f*cking listen!

You keep feeding me
this ridiculous lie

that life is a rainbow
destiny sparkle cake.

When it is so not.

I'm not.

I ruin things every time,
and I've done it again.

But this time it just hurts

so much more than
before we started.

So what do we do then?

I really don't f*cking care.

Piss off then.

Viv,
babe! Get in here!

I'm as hard as those
rocks.

Roar! I'm a monster!

You're not a monster,
mum. You're doing it wrong!

Am I?

Um, well, what would
you like me to...

We want dad.

I can do it better.

- Roar.
- You're boring, mum.

Where's daddy?

You're not our
best friend, mamma.

Where's daddy?

- Roar! Roar!
- Hey.

Hi.

You okay?

Ale?

Ale?

Did you plug the kettle
and the toaster in

at the same time again?

John...

I love you.

From the moment I saw you naked,

chasing your cling wrap in
that beach in, in Tenerife.

And you have come
so far, querido,

my darling.

I'm sorry.

I...

I can't.

I'm sorry.

I had to make sure
you were okay.

How'd you go with Viv?

See?

I'm the only one who
loves all of you.

Even the bits that
are hard to love.

Vivian, what do you do to me?

You know, I told myself
I wouldn't go back here,

but f*ck, it feels
good to be back here.

You're like a drug, baby.

A special Ritchie drug.

- Tell me you're my drug.
- I'm your drug.

Tell me you don't
wash your undies.

- I don't wear undies, baby.
- Oh.

Tell me you're a
sexy f*cking mess.

A sexy, dangerous,
filthy, piece of sh*t

who doesn't care about anything.

- Oh, say it.
- Hey.

- Hey stop.
- What?

- Just get off.
- I'm teetering baby.

- I'm about to come.
- Well, teeter on the floor.

What's wrong with you?

Nothing. I'm just not into it.

But you love it when we f*ck.

Yeah, well, we f*ck weird.

That's why you love it.

Shut the f*ck up for a second!

Can I use your bathroom?

- Yeah.
- Cool.

- I'll go finish in there.
- Don't tell me that!

Oh, my bad.

I was just trying
to be sensitive!

Hang in there.

Stay there.

Hey.

Is that a bat?

It's 3:00 a.m., Viv.

Oh, sh*t.

What do you want?

I don't know.

Do you want to hang out?

At 3:00 a.m.?

Right. Good point. I'll go.

Look, just... just
so you know...

I hadn't had sex
before this morning.

Oh...

sh*t.

And you just sort of...

took it.

That's why you
were so nice and cuddly.

I was being intimate.

That's generally what people
do when they have sex.

It's not what everyone does.

Well, that's what
I wanted to do.

So you're mad at me

for not taking your
virginity in the right way

when I didn't even
know what I was doing?

Well, you should've known.

How the f*ck would I know that?

Because you should
know these things, Viv!

You should care enough to
observe them in people!

Like sure, for a second

I thought that was who you were,

but I guess I was really wrong.

Can I tell you something?

What do you want to tell me?

When I was younger
there was this accident.

I don't tell many people
this but I lost my parents

and it's made me who I am.

- See... No.
- Like this is...

Sorry?

An accident didn't
make you like this.

An accident made you sad
and it made you angry,

but you chose how you are.

Just like most of my
patients choose to be kind

and compassionate and hopeful

when they've gone through
the worst things imaginable,

like you!

Maybe underneath all
of these excuses,

you are just a bad person.

You think you're a
good person, do you?

Yes, I do actually.

You're not a good person, Dane.

You're a judgmental
piece of sh*t.

You judge me, you judge Amy,

you judge anyone who isn't
also a f*cking box ticker.

No, sorry, not a box ticker,

a m*therf*cking control freak.

You're so scared
of losing control,

you became a psychologist

so you could safety
trap your own brain.

- No.
- Yes.

And the reason
you're so bad at it,

is because

you don't know pain.

You don't know loss,

you don't know anything

except what you've
read in a f*cking book.

And maybe you got
close to it with me,

but now I've broken
your d*ck hymen,

it's all gotten a
bit much for you.

What happened?

She... She...

She said I was a control freak.

And that I haven't lived.

Well, what do you
think about that?