01x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

That you can see the face.
In this way.

I'm just going to put
a tiny bit of yellow on you.

OK.

Does it look OK?

-Yes.
-I want some too.

No, not now.
Wait a moment.

Hello.

I'm so glad you came.

Don't move.
No, don't open your eyes!

Come in.

Come on,
we're going to do your eyes.

It's your turn, Joana.

OK.

Just dab it lightly, like this,

or you're going to hurt her.

Don't move, or it will come out wrong.

-Just a little.
-A little.

Shall I close my eyes?

You're only using red?

It's my favorite color.

It's going to look a bit boring.

Don't move,
or it won't come out right.

What are you doing here?

That's it, perfect.

And you?

SELFTAPE
A SERIES BY JOANA & MIREIA VILAPUIG

Done.

Take whatever you like.

Great.

Honey, try the vermouth.

-Did you bring it?
-Yes, I brought it.

-Delicious.
-Very tasty.

Invite Claudia next time.

And her kids too.

You're such a pain.

-I really like your friend, honey.
-Listen.

-What?
-She wasn't invited.

It's a family thing,
so why would she be?

It's great to see you both
after so long.

And with vermouth even better!

-You look handsome in that shirt.
-Thanks, darling.

Seeing as we're all here...

-I'd like to say a few words.
-Let's call the kids.

Martina!

Alvarito!

We're playing!

OK, leave them.
We'll see them later, it's fine.

I wanted to thank you all, firstly...

Firstly, thank you
for being here with me today.

I'm so happy to be with you all.

My family.

And I'm especially glad to see you two.

Mireia, Joana.

Thank you.

And thank you to my mother-in law.
I know you're not a fan of these events.

Thank you.

She's only here for the food!

-Of course.
-Right, Mom?

I'm getting old now
and I'm not sure you'll put up with me

next year all grumpy

-and old...
-Don't be silly!

Anyway, let's eat!
Pilar was up at...

What time was it, darling?

Like 5 am.

All morning in the kitchen!

So let's enjoy it.
Thanks, my darling.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Look at each other in the eyes, OK?

Yes, the eyes! That's why
you're such a good brother-in-law.

Thank you.

Cheers.

Thank you.

They're there, under the blanket.

Why didn't you reply?

I wasn't sure I could come
until the last minute.

Are you very busy?

Yeah, kind of.

That's good, isn't it?

I guess so.

-I'll take these.
-Wait.

This one's dirty.

-It's fine.
-No, I don't want you sitting here.

I just feel bad for Pilar. She didn't know
how many she was cooking for.

So then tell here I'll eat less!

Joana.

-Don't start.
-What have I done now?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Joana.

What?

Honestly,
I'm really happy that you came.

With silver buttons, buttons, buttons.

Hands, hands, hands.

Wow, that looks great!
Let's have a potato.

Hands off!

-Hey!
-Pilar.

Sit here, next to Álvaro.

Yay! I'm next to Mireia!

Joana, this is Joana.

-Did you see the wine I brought?
-I expected nothing less.

-It's super expensive.
-You pig!

What an amazing wine.

-And expensive.
-I like the crispy bits.

A little respect, please!

-Looks delicious, darling.
-Honey, stop that.

This corkscrew is sh*t!

You're weak. I'll open it.

-No, no.
-Give it to me.

-Want some wine?
-OK.

Tell me what you think.

Stop touching... I said no.

-Wine?
-Please.

Martina, stop that.

Martina, don't use your hands.

-Why not?
-Very nice.

See? Your daughter knows about wine.

The family palate.

-Mireia, can you serve the soup, please?
-Yes.

Mom, pass me your plate.

No, Mom.
No more wine for you.

-No!
-It's only one day.

She's on medication.

But drunk she's hilarious!

What is this, Pilar?

Vichyssoise.

Oh, and what...
What's in it?

It's a secret, like Coca-Cola.

-She can't say.
-Oh, shut up!

I make it with...

leeks, butter, chicken stock and cream.

-OK.
-Hope it tastes good.

Sounds good, right, Mireia?

Don't you like it?

She's vegan.

What?

So you don't eat meat or fish.

-Or milk or eggs.
-Really?

Joana.

I eat eggs sometimes.

I'm not a strict vegan, but...

-Your Dad didn't tell me.
-Yeah.

So you see this
and you don't feel like eating?

Not because it doesn't look good,

-it does.
-That Norwegian boyfriend...

She's been vegan 5 years, Dad.

I don't want it either.

If you won't eat it, I will.

Martina, eat up, please.

No! I don't want to.

Eat up.

-I don't want it.
-You didn't tell me.

No, I don't want it.
I'm vegan too.

Martina.

Don't be silly, Martina.
Eat up.

-Mireia, shall I make you something?
-No, no, no.

I'm not that hungry.

-I'll have tomato bread.
-No.

I want tomato bread too!

You'll be hungry.

No, you're eating this.

-Do you eat meat?
-Yes.

I'll make you something quickly.

-No, let me go.
-No, Dad, it's OK.

Mireia, I'll go.

I want something else too.

You'll eat what you're given.

There's no way I'm going to eat that.

-You will eat it.
-No.

-Martina.
-I said no!

We kind of messed up...

your lunch, didn't we?

No, no, no.
Martina does it all the time.

Always causing a scene.

She reminds me of someone.

-Right?
-Yeah.

You sure are.

So, how come you're back?

I thought things
were going well in Oslo.

Why?
Because of the award?

Award? What award?

I was sh**ting a series.

The series in Oslo.

And I got an award for it.

Really?

-Congratulations, Mireia.
-Thanks.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

Are you living at home with Joana?

I was there the first few days, but...

Well...

Now I'm staying with
a friend I met on the sh**t.

How is Joana?

Ask her.

Right?

She said she's working.

Oh, yeah?
She said that?

Well, more or less.
She said she was very busy.

Well, at least she came, right?

Yes, yes.

Yes, Pilar was insisting that she come,

but we didn't know
until the last minute if she would.

-Pilar insisted Joana came?
-Yes, poor thing.

Yes.

Why did she insist?

Well, she wants me to...

I have something to tell you, Mireia.

Tell me. What's going on?

I'm selling the apartment.

What?

I have no choice, Mireia.

Dad, I mean...

That's why you invited her?
Tell her now.

Don't wait.
You have to tell her now.

Mireia... Mireia, listen.

I'll tell her when
the time is right, OK?

I don't want her causing
a scene in front of everyone.

I'll tell her soon, Mireia.

OK, then.

Go ahead.

-Jorge, can I have some more wine.
-Of course.

Why didn't they call us sooner?

If it happens again, call me, OK?

Her son should have let us know.

Yes, but you know what they're like.

Álvaro, don't play with your food.
Leave it if you don't want it.

Is this OK?

-Yes.
-Wait, like this.

Like this.

Mom, I want your cell phone.

-Eat first.
-Joana's on her phone.

Joana

is grown up enough
to do as she pleases.

I'm grown up too.

And what about you, Joana?

How are you?
How's everything going?

Fine.

Which one of you was the actress?

They both are.

Both of them?

Mireia and Joana?

Wow! But who was on TV?

-Who was the famous one?
-Both of them, Jorge.

When I met her, people on the street
were still asking her for autographs.

It didn't happen that often
and it doesn't happen at all now.

So what are you up to now?

Are you doing any TV shows,
or aren't you allowed to talk about it?

No, I'm not doing anything right now.

Actually...

I've quit acting.

Ah.

Here we go!
One amazing vegan salad.

Looks good.

Joana was saying she doesn't want
to be an actress anymore.

Really?

Yes.

So what are you going to do?

I don't know.

-I'm working it out.
-Let's eat!

I don't know.

Dad...

Everyone's been waiting ages.

-Yes.
-Let's eat.

Let's eat, let's eat.

Wow, darling, it's delicious.

-Really?
-Out of this world.

Ten out of ten, sis.

-Thanks.
-Are you working at the moment?

No, not right now.

Are you looking?

-Dad.
-Yes, but it's not so easy.

I know it's not, but you have to
make a living somehow.

-Calm down.
-I'm perfectly calm, darling.

I'm just asking about her job.

I think that's quite normal.

Nothing else.

Do you like it?

Welcome to Dad's birthday party!

This is Mrs. Bear.

And the tap dancer.
I hope you like it.

Bravo!

Where's the music?

This one.

This one!

This one.

Which one? This one?

Do you want the angel one?

No, this one.

-Give me this one.
-This one?

This one.

No, not this one.
Later, OK?

OK.

Look, do you want the angel one?

No.

This one?

OK?

Then which one, Mireia?
The devil?

Quick, run!

Oh, so scary!

So scary!

Oh, poor me, my clothes are all torn.

I'm poor, but I don't envy
the rich man's life.

Mireia, stand here.

Good night.

Good night.

With embellished edges,

Lie down in your bed.

-Mireia, want some?
-No, thanks.

I do!

Bravo!

Bravo!

-Bravo!
-Happy birthday, Daddy!

Thank you, my love!

Bravo, bravo.

It's the best thing I've ever seen!

-Did you like it?
-Yes.

-You did?
-Yes.

-Now, you try.
-No, no, no.

-No, no, no.
-Look, it's easy.

No, no.

-You just blow.
-No, no.

It's covered in drool!

-No, no.
-Blow.

Leave her in peace.

-Give Daddy a kiss.
-You must be exhausted!

I'm going to take a dump.

-That's it!
-Thanks, my love.

-There's someone in here!
-It's me.

Come in.

-You need to pee?
-How are you?

Fine.
A bit shocked...

and a bit tipsy as well.

What about you?

I'm OK.

If that kid shoves her recorder
in my mouth one more time...

I swear...

I'll shove it up her a*s!

We were much better.

Clearly.

Though being better than
the tap dancer is pretty tough!

Totally!

But we didn't rush over all
"Daddy, Daddy!" when we were done.

-"Daddy".
-Crazy, right?

"Daddy", they call him "Daddy".
That's so crazy.

Did you know?

-What?
-That they called him "Daddy".

"Daddy"? No.

I never see them.

Girls, we're about
to serve the cake, OK?

OK.

And what about this sh*t?

I don't know.

I'm trying to take it off.

I think these wipes are for your a*s!

I'm so dumb.

I was going to ask Dad for some money.

I'm an idiot.

Joana.

If...

If you want money,
you can ask me too.

No, no, no.

-Yes, I really mean it.
-No!

I don't want to ask you.

Dad wants to sell the apartment.

What?

He told me before, in the kitchen.

I don't f*cking believe it!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear Daddy!

Happy birthday to you!

Make a wish.

Blow them out!
I want cake.

-Make a wish.
-OK, done.

-Bravo!
-Thank you.

-Who wants cake?
-Me!

-Me!
-Why did you invite us?

I want the biggest piece!

What did you say?

Well?

All this happy family crap
just to tell us you're selling our home?

Joana, calm down.

No, I won't calm down, Dad.

You see, Mireia? Here we go.

Joana, don't make a scene.

-We'll talk after the cake.
-No, no cake.

Forget the cake.

-Let's talk now.
-Come on, kids!

What's the matter?

Come and play with me.

Come and have a kick-about
with your Uncle Jorge.

-Yay! A kick-about!
-Come on, let's go.

Well?

Look, we're having some money troubles.

I've been trying to avoid it for months,
but right now, it's the best solution.

Yeah, best for you.

Joana, you knew
it'd happen eventually.

-You knew that.
-That's not what I'm saying.

-Then what, Joana?
-Have you sold it?

Have you sold it already?

No, not yet,

but Pilar's friends are interested.

Well, they're our friends.

Yes, our friends.

What are you doing, Joana?

Mireia.

Thanks for lunch.

Bye.

What?

In Oslo...

with Jacob...

Well...

I don't think
I was aware of it at the time...

But...

He abused me.

What?

Repeatedly, I think.

And...

I don't know...

I'm so sorry.

I think that's why I came back.

AFTER SEEING YOUR SELFTAPE...

You did the selftape in the end?

...YOU'VE BEEN SELECTED
FOR THE LEADING ROLE.