01x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

Why's mine the slow one?!

Da-ra-ra-da-da! ♪

Come on!

All right.

Yep. That'll do me.

God, here we go.

Like a bunch of kids.

Can't take them anywhere.

I still don't get the point

of this game.

I just like whacking ba*ls

and pretending they're Davy's head.

Right, we're next, Dad. Go on.

It's your go.

I know it's my go.

Hey, hurry up and miss, Ron!

You can't rush genius, pal.

Oh, that's fighting talk, that.

Hey, do you fancy a bet, Ronnie?

I won't take your money, son.

This is guaranteed,

like Sheffield f*cking steel.

"No clogs on green, Mr Phelan."

Hurry up, Pops.

I'm getting soaked here. Hold on.

Just give me a bit of f*cking space.

Oh, just hit it!

Thanks, love!

Can you believe that?!

All right, I'll finish it

off for us, Dad.

So, I've been mulling over ways

to improve our margins.

Margins are good, Ronnie.

I'm not saying they're not.

Just asking the question.

Can they be better?

Wahey!

It's not worth the risk.

We don't want to start cutting it.

Oh, no.

Maybe there's something else.

How about we have a conversation

with the Amigos?

Why, though?

Why change what works?

I'd like money enough

to relax a bit more.

Would you help me do that?

Be good for the both of us.

My clogs would fit you nicely.

If that's what you want. Yeah.

All right.

Let me think on it a bit more.

Let you know tonight.

GLASS CLINKS

OK, listen.

I am going to play

the indulgent nana

and propose a toast.

To another little prince

All right, Mum.

..in the Phelan family.

To Alfie.

To Alfie!

Mr Peter Thomas?

Michael Kavanagh?

Can you confirm

your date of birth?

13th of the tenth, '88.

And you know why you're here?

What you need still?

Yeah.

Daft question, I know,

but you'd be surprised.

Been given your paperwork

and sample jar?

Yeah.

Provide your sample here

and leave it in the hatch, along

with your signed forms, OK?

Remote control,

DVDs and Wi-Fi code

are all here if you need it.

You must not use any lubricant

as it may affect the sample.

Yeah, fine.

Marvellous.

Thanks.

Hello there.

Hey, babe. Guess where I am.

I'm hoping

you're at the clinic.

Not only am I at the clinic,

I'm inside Wank Central.

And you thought of me?

You know what I'm like.

Forever the romantic.

Every surface in here

is wipe-clean.

Nice.

And there's porn.

That being said, er

I thought you might

you know,

give me some assistance.

Assistance?

Some words of encouragement?

Seeing as we're in this together.

Right, give me a minute.

You still there?

I'm not going anywhere, babe.

Well, in that case,

seeing as we are in this

together

..what if I join you,

so to speak?

Are you serious?

I'm just undoing a few buttons

and pushing my hand

inside some

very sheer underwear.

You are very, very good.

How come

we've never done this before?

I don't know.

It's good, isn't it?

Yeah, it's really good.

This City is Ours

1st episode

Take it from me

Ukrainian Albarino?

Yeah.

The soil and climate of the area

match northern Spain, apparently.

Mm. Mm. Love it. It's a good story.

Yeah, we should take it

and we should push it.

Thanks.

It's me.

Not only have I got

a low sperm count,

but the fellas I'm firing

can't even swim.

I'm sorry.

I don't care.

There are other ways

of getting pregnant.

Diana, you can't do that.

It's me that's the problem.

Michael, it's not a problem.

Yeah, it is.

We want a family together,

so we solve it together.

We put our trust

in the science.

You'd do that?

Yeah, I WANT to do that.

I love you.

And I like saying it.

Mm. So say it again.

PHONE VIBRATES

I love you.

And I'm going to Spain

in about three hours.

What's happening in Spain?

Ronnie's looking

for a bigger payday, and

..and he's making noises

about stepping aside.

And you step up?

You blow me away,

do you know that?

I'll see you tomorrow.

Going en masse, are we?

Solidarity.

Davy.

All right, Michael?

Jamie? What are you doing here?

It's Take Your Lad To Work Day.

Banksey's meeting us there, so

Ooh-hoo!

Inside, Ronnie.

Just the three of them.

Right. Yeah.

Over to you, lad.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Hang on.

What are we drinking here?

Where's it from again, Ricky?

I first tried it in Galicia.

It's normal there for the

person preparing the queimada

to whisper some words.

HE BLOWS HARD

It's an incantation to cast out

demons and bad spirits.

It sounds like bollocks.

Nah, Jay, it's true, you know.

I've seen it, yeah.

Am I allowed to spit it out?

A toast.

To friendship and business.

Friendship and business.

Oh!

What Ronnie is asking for

is more of the same,

but on better terms.

Same gear, better price

is what we want.

We need to hear only one voice.

We're saying the same thing.

One voice makes sense.

So, what can you do?

What is it you are proposing?

A change in price means that

something else has to change.

Ronnie wants an improvement.

If a lower price means buying

more product, then fine.

If it means us adjusting

the means of transport, fine.

Bear in mind

there are other suppliers,

it's a big world.

Jamie.

Go and take a piss.

There's a good lad.

Jamie.

Do you know what? I am suddenly

desperate for a piss.

Yes, he is Ronnie's son,

but why is he at this table?

He's learning.

Why is he learning?

Our business

is with you, Michael.

You think I'm doing

the right thing, Davy?

Honestly?

Of course, f*cking honestly!

I don't know.

That little bit more risk,

for a truckload more profit,

so to speak, but

..you need that little bit

more luck, don't you?

What about your man at the

docks? What can he do for us?

Nah, Ron.

He's eyes-only.

He can tell me if the container

gets through customs,

but, nah, he can't change it.

So he's the best mate of

useless, then.

He can tell us

if we're going to be safe.

And he can keep us out

of a Cat A sh*thole.

Mm-hm.

We buy as soon as it clears

the border.

What if we buy earlier,

at sea?

We take on the risk

of the UK border ourselves.

A direct shipment to Liverpool

in two, three weeks' time.

Could you work up a price

based on that?

If you are sure

that is what you want.

That's what we want,

what Ronnie wants.

Look, it's gone straight

through. It's all good, yeah.

You sure you still want me

to go through with this?

OK. OK.

Oh, sh*t.

f*cking hell

Hello, Ronnie?

It's not looking good, pal.

It's not looking good at all.

Michael?

Eight. Eight very

healthy-looking eggs.

Oh! God, that's fantastic!

Fantastic.

So, Michael, your turn next.

Fingers crossed, as always.

Thank you.

DOOR OPENS

Eight.

Eight!

You OK?

Mm-hm.

We should get you home.

My man on site was saying

that the container was

..like, screened off

and it was taken apart.

Then they put it back together,

and then he sent it on its way.

They're saying

that there's a buzz.

Lots of, erm,

happy faces dockside.

Happy faces?

Yeah.

You know, um, backslapping

and

Yeah?

Yeah.

Then we leave it alone.

We've got to.

Christ.

It stays parked in the yard

and we don't go near it.

What else can we do? It's going

to be rammed with spyware,

and they'll be waiting for us

to collect.

What if they're not waiting

for us to collect?

What if they've found f*ck-all?

If they opened it,

they found it.

No, theythey, they, um

they definitely opened it.

f*ck!

Ronnie?! f*ck!

It's gone.

First time we buy at source,

and we tank.

So what I'm thinking,

is it bad luck or is it a rat?

Heavy coincidence.

Then it's a rat,

k*lling our supply.

You know, if it gets out we've

got a hole in our supply lines,

we'll have every twat

trying to fill it.

Mancs, Geordies,

every f*cking flavour of Mafia.

So who knew?

You, me, Davy Crawford,

Banksey, Jamie, Bobby.

All 100%, solid.

And the Amigos.

No chance.

You know, I think they're

trying to teach me a lesson.

They're purely business, Ronnie.

And they'll still want paying.

So it's one of us.

Find out if anyone is selling

as much as a wrap on our patch.

Yeah? Can you do that?

You want me to wade through the

sh*t on the streets?

Well, who else can I ask?

I won't forget it.

BIKE BELL DINGS

Get up here, now!

Get in that car!

Go on! In!

Go on!

I don't think yous know who

the f*ck you're messing with.

Clowns on a f*cking stick.

So, go on, then, soft lad.

Who are we messing with?

Whose lemo are you selling?

f*ck off. I'm not a grass.

I could punch you all night,

you know.

You've got one of them

f*cking little faces!

f*cking listen to me.

You can keep your bits,

you can keep your phone,

and we can pretend

like this never happened.

But you are going to f*cking

tell me who you're selling for.

Do you know who

YOU'RE f*cking messing with?

I can't get my head around

that he's one of us.

It's greed. It's always greed,

and it's put a massive hole

in Ronnie's pension pot.

He's going to want him ended.

Here we go.

I just don't get it.

Davy f*cking Crawford?!

You never know.

Might just be a book club.

Here we are.

It's veggie chilli, Melissa.

Oh, thank you.

And there's guacamole

and yoghurt.

No tortilla chips?

I make a nice chilli,

don't I, Jay?

She does, you know.

PHONE VIBRATES

Thanks.

No phones at the dinner table,

Ronnie.

We're not Americans.

We are not.

How come you asked Davy Crawford

to be a godparent?

I like him.

Youyou like him?

Shouldn't I?

Yeah.

What is it you like about him?

Don't know, he's a nice fella,

isn't he? He's harmless.

Is there a problem?

No. Good man.

Hiya.

No, you don't!

Get here!

Shut the f*ck up! Now!

Don't you f*cking move!

Jamie! No! Stop it!

Whothe f*ck you think

you f*cking are?!

f*cking get off me, Banksey!

He pulled a f*cking knife

on me!

Don't be daft, you!

It's OK. Sh, sh, sh.

Are you OK?

What's he running in here -

a f*cking nursery?

Hello there.

Morning, babe.

Did I wake you?

I was just dozing.

I never sleep properly

without you here.

Where are you?

At the flat.

Late night.

Are you OK?

DOOR BUZZER

What time's

the christening start?

12. I'm sure it's 12 -

let me check.

All my nice clothes

are blackor grey.

12, noon.

Are you coming home to change?

No. I've got a suit here

I can wear.

I'm making myself a proper,

healthy brekkie, by the way.

Consisting of what?

All things nutritious

and good for my sperm.

You'd be proud of me.

One second, babe. Door.

Is it wrapped?

Yeah. Car's on its way.

Sound.

I'm back.

Who was it?

Post.

Is what wrapped?

Nice piece of fish.

Have you got time to meet me

for a coffee?

Yeah. Text me where

and I'll be there.

w*nk*r.

Morning. All set?

I am.

But I'm not feeling it.

I don't actually get any of it.

I know you put him up to it.

Come on.

It's Davy Crawford.

He's a follower, not a leader.

Nah, I'm feeling

I need to make a point.

No, it's too soon.

Right, he was cutting three kilo,

a good weight,

but where did it come from?

Keep going as planned.

I'll think on it.

And don't forget

about the christening.

How's that sound?

I wasn't really listening,

George.

You're up bright and early.

How's our day so far?

All good, mate. No surprises.

You at home?

Yeah. Home alone.

Our Freddie's out and about.

Gym bunny.

We are indeed looking

at a creature of habit.

CAT MEOWS

Circuits, followed by a run.

Any problems,

I'll give you a bell.

Sound.

Mate, that was some party

last night.

Almost like the bad old days.

Oh, tell me about it.

I thought I'd left all that

behind me.

Get yourself all cleaned up?

Yeah.

Did you wash your clothes?

Got rid.

How's the kid?

We got him patched up

on the private.

He'll live.

Anyway, you've got

about 45 minutes.

Freddie will message

when he's on the move.

Take it easy.

Deepbreath.

HORN TOOTS

Ta, mate.

You smell nice.

Decided you were worth it.

I've been thinking about you.

But you'd still rather sleep

at the flat?

What's going on?

Am I allowed to know?

We've got a rat in the house

and it's gotten heavy.

But I'm sorting it.

After this, Ronnie owes me.

After what?

I'll tell you what.

No more than three years' time,

I've decided

we can do whatever we want,

go wherever we want.

Three years.

Count them.

Yeah, I'm booked in

to see my mum today.

How do you think she'll be?

The same, I expect.

Is she still talking

to someone?

Yeah. I mean,

I can't help,

but I wish she'd talk to me

..and I was there.

Have you ever k*lled anyone?

What kind of question's that?

Have you?

No, I haven't.

But

Well, I could.

I would, if I had to.

You know, if they deserved it.

Is that a deal-breaker?

How many other couples have

conversations like this,

do you think?

Don't forget where

you're supposed to be later.

I won't.

And I don't mean the

christening.

Sh, sh, sh.

Hey, we're not far now.

Are you coming?

They're here.

Give me ten minutes.

You know, Jamie was asking

for the same ten minutes

of your time.

Elaine,

I've got stuff going on.

Hello!

Hiya!

Aww!

Where's my dad?

Aw, you look amazing!

Yeah?

Is it done?

About ten seconds from now.

Are you going to have a listen?

Ronnie?

Ronnie?

Abort. Stand down.

Got that?

Stop it!

Oh, there you are! Hiya, baby!

Hiya, Mum!

Are you OK?

Yeah, I'm good. How are you?

Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

Have you got your cuppa?

Yeah, I have.

Have you got yours?

I have. And a biscuit.

Two biscuits.

You know I love a digestive.

Yeah, I know you do.

You can dunk a digestive.

Right, ready?

Yep.

Cheers.

Cheers!

Have you cut your hair?

I have. Do you like it?

Oh, let me see. Turn.

Oh, it's beautiful.

You look perfect.

How's your Michael?

Come on.

Got a smoke?

You're supposed to have

given up.

I have given up. Jesus

on a cross makes me nervous.

Ta.

So we're, erwe're

definitely good, yeah?

You, er, spoke to Ronnie?

Yeah, yeah. We're sound.

Um, but he wants nothing said,

all right? Not a word.

Yeah. OK. Understood, yeah.

Some people still aren't

in the know, so

OK. Got it, yeah.

Yeah?

Happy days.

Oh, here's Diana.

Hiya!

Hiya, girl!

Hiya.

All right, love?

Jamie, congratulations.

No Michael?

No, he's on his way.

Elaine, Rachel,

you're both looking lovely.

Mwah! Thanks.

Look at you, skinny b*tch!

Half right.

Are there many babies

getting done?

No, just us. Special favour.

Er, from God. Diana?

Oh, I don't, thank you.

Neither should you.

Mum, we import cocaine.

You're on my case

for smoking a bift?

Cut out the idle talk.

See all of you inside.

First two rows are family, hon.

Got it.

Thanks a lot for this, Jay, yeah?

I'll see you in there.

Yeah. Sound. Thanks for this.

What was that about?

Ah, he's honoured, isn't he?

Feels like he's family.

What are your thoughts

on Diana?

Nice arse.

Oi!

Saying what I see.

Bet you Michael Kavanagh

can't believe his luck.

Oh, I do like the way they

hold hands. Have you noticed?

Not really.

The priest's asking,

are we doing this or not?

Bobby's right, come on,

let's wet the baby's head

so we can wet the baby's head!

What's the priest's name again?

I've forgotten.

Oh, just call him Father.

They like that.

You have asked for your child

to be baptised.

In doing so, you are accepting

the responsibility

of training him

in the practice of faith.

Do you, the parents,

fully understand

what you have undertaken?

BOTH: We do.

Godparents,

are you ready to help

the parents of this child

in their Christian duty?

We are.

So many godparents!

Lucky little lad.

Almighty and ever-living God,

you sent your only son down

to our world

ECHOING: ..to cast out

the power of Satan,

the spirit of evil,

to rescue man

from the kingdom of darkness.

If your faith makes you ready

to accept this responsibility,

renew now

the vow of your baptism.

Do you reject Satan?

I do.

And all his works?

I do.

And all his empty promises?

I do.

Do you believe in Jesus Christ,

his only son,

our Lord, who was born

of the Virgin Mary,

was crucified, died

and was buried,

rose from the dead

and is now seated

at the right hand

You made it!

I did.

Why are you sat

so far at the back?

So you could see me.

Then the 11 disciples went

away

You look perfect.

Yeah, I thought so.

When they saw him,

they worshipped him,

but some doubted him.

And Jesus came and spoke unto

them, saying,

"All power is given"

Oh, my God, look

at that baby's little face!

"..and teach all nations,

baptising them

"in the name of the Father."

Are you sureabout me?

A family with me?

Yes.

..even until

the end of the world.

Amen.

Amen.

Good boy!

Cheers, mate.

Thanks.

See yous in a bit.

What's happening, boys?

Yous all right?

All right?

So, is he here - the rat?

He's the one with the whiskers.

How's your mum?

Can you believe she's missing

my dad? What's all that about?

God knows.

Don't ever cut me out.

Don't ever not tell me.

What we've got materially

is very nice and I love it,

but what we have as you and me

is more.

I'm not like these other women,

cos I'm not your bird

or your Miss World.

I'm yours.

Understood.

Now, hold that

while I go for a piss.

Ugh! Funny.

Knock-knock.

Hiya.

I'm Cheryl.

I'm Davy Crawford's wife.

Oh, yeah, and godmother.

Mm. I've been meaning

to say hello a few times.

Can I just say,

I don't think I've ever seen

Michael looking so happy.

Oh, well Oh, thank you.

I think!

You must be doing something right.

Well, I just demand

his undivided attention,

and he complies.

Your dress is lovely,

by the way.

Give it an hour,

it'll be covered in red wine.

I drink too much.

Well, is that your opinion

or someone else's?

Oh, I know what I am, Diana.

How long have you

been together?

Like, 18 months, almost.

Oh, 18 months, wow.

Yeah.

Do you still believe him?

About what?

There's nothing good

about our men.

Get out while you can, hon.

He'll survive.

Thank you.

You don't mean that.

Yeah, you're right, I don't.

That's not to say I don't

appreciate the honesty.

I'm not flaky.

I'm tired.

Really tired.

And I'm you -

sooner than you think.

My advice to you

OK, my advice to you, Cheryl,

is to be careful

with that wine.

Your dress really is beautiful.

Yeah.

Call me.

Looks good on you.

Sorry about the late call,

Michael.

I decided you were right.

We need to know

what the f*ck is going on.

What are you thinking?

Firstly, there's no way

Davy Crawford's brave enough

to turn rat all on his own.

Secondly,

we lose a truckload of gear,

yet there's still

no truck-sized hole

in the supply line.

Early days yet.

But there's stuff out there,

even if it's just a trickle.

Coming from where?

I don't know.

Other families? Outsiders?

I'm just thinking out loud

here, but

..could even be the gear

we thought we'd lost.

Who spoke to our contact

at the port?

Who gave us no other option

but to let it go?

Davy Crawford.

OK, we'll rack him.

100%.

But not here. Not in the UK.

I don't want the noise.

I don't want us

I don't want us looking troubled.

Then, where?

It's got to be soon.

Spain.

Go tomorrow. I'll announce it.

Me and Elaine's anniversary.

He's invited. We all are.

But no Cheryl.

I don't think

Davy will mind that.

What about the Amigos?

We can't just avoid them,

and we owe them a lot of money.

OK, we set up a meeting.

Yeah?

So, I'll see you fellas

on the dance floor.

Mmm

Oh, yeah,

I could get used to this.

Oh, could you, now?

Mm. Quite easily.

So, how come Ronnie's got

this huge villa

with, like, five bathrooms

and marble steps,

and all you've got

is a caravan in Talacre?

En suite caravan.

All the mod cons.

And don't diss Talacre -

that's my childhood.

SHE SLURPS

Mm!

Did you enjoy that?

Mm. Yeah, it's gorgeous.

It's my last day drinking.

Hopefully.

Mm. Do you know what else?

I'm getting just a little bit

turned on.

Just a little bit?

Mm-hm.

It seems I've developed

a little lump in my trunks.

Front or back?

Bobby.

Robert!

Mm?

Talk to me.

Make me laugh.

In a minute.

HE FARTS

You're hilarious.

You started it.

How did I get

to being this age?

Happens to everyone, love.

Enjoy it.

Cos in five years' time,

you'll be five years older.

Did you speak to Ronnie?

I speak to Ronnie all the time.

Did you speak to him about me?

About my ideas?

Not yet.

Why not?

Because we're in the middle

of a shitstorm, aren't we?

Speak to him, please.

Or I will.

How many businesses do I run?

Loads.

Shitloads.

It's not easy, and there's

better ways of doing things.

Davy,

can you just give us a hand

shifting some booze

from the garage?

All right,

give us a second, yeah?

I think I'm going in for a bit.

It's too hot for me out here,

Elaine. OK.

Whew!

Elaine!

Are we eating in or out tonight?

Out.

I booked that nice

Italian place at the marina.

Oh, lovely.

Perfecto!

I could stay here forever,

I really could.

Is that the plan?

One day.

What happened to Cheryl, Davy?

Oh

She couldn't make it, mate.

You know what she's like.

Probably for the best.

Bobby, if you ever leave me

for a girl,

I'll have your ba*ls,

do you hear me?

Love you, too!

Scarlet billows

start to spread ♪

BABY CRIES

'Ey up.

You all right, Ron?

Thanks for this, Davy.

Yeah, it's no problem.

Good man.

Hey, do you want a cold one, Davy?

Oh, yes!

Oh, you know

I love a cold one, Michael.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm parched.

Tell you what,

I love this heat, only