01x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Secrets & Sisterhood...

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- How are you doing?

I thought I was gonna be able
to manage my pain better,

but then, like, today it was just like,
damn, it hit me hard!

- It's so bad.
- My God! Why are you out?

- I just wanted to see you.

I really hope
you wouldn't be dumb enough

to get on a plane and go anywhere.

Like, that'd be so stupid.

- I'm starting to feel overwhelmed,

and I just kind of wanna hide
and get away from everyone.

- When it comes to substance abuse stuff,

in order to maintain the healthy sobriety,

we wanna allow him to do the things
that are important to him.

I will let him go out

with my sisters and I.

- Hi, you look nice, Mashallah.

- Brother, Viking, can you have a drink?

- No.
- Damn!

Bye, ladies.

Come on!

You better hurry up
before she comes back.
Hurry up!

Cheers. Love you.

I'm not witnessing this.

- This place is so cute.

I know.

Where's Noor?

So, Noor invited all of us out
for a sisters' dinner tonight

and as per usual,
she is the one running late.

But nonetheless,
I'm happy that we're all together.

I love spending time with everybody.

So, I heard you guys had
a night out with Josh and Shuk.

How was it?
- We did. It was so much fun.

- I'm glad that Shuk and Josh came.

- Yeah, I was kind of shocked.

So at the end of the night,

I think he took,
like, two shots or something.

Yeah.

- You guys pressure him into doing it?

- Honestly, not that I can remember.

- I can't remember either.

My God!

- It was just there. Here, take it.

Cheers. Love you.
- Love you too, sis.

You snuck it in, girl.

- I... I don't remember.
- Maybe?

- I gave Josh a shot
at the girls' night out.

And I don't regret giving Josh a shot.

But in this moment,
I don't wanna say anything

because I don't want
any new drama right now.

- Was Shakur okay with it?

- It was her idea.
- It was her idea.

- Really?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I highly doubt that Sid and Jamila
are telling me everything.

I just saw Sid and Jamila

when we had lunch
with my mom the other day,

and this did not come up,

because they're trying
to avoid an argument.

Why would you want him
to, God forbid, have a relapse?

I mean, I don't think that's cool.

Well... Muzzie! Yes, Hi!

You didn't get
lipstick on me, did you?

No, no, girl. Nuh.

I'm gonna just do this.

- You look so pretty.
- So do you, babe.

So where the heck is Hamida at?

- Noor knows more than anyone.
- Okay.

- I'm actually really curious to find out.

- Well, she ain't gonna share it.

Hamida,
all of a sudden, is now a magician.

She has vanished.

She is, like...
Where'd she go?

Like, no one's spoken to her
in about a week.

That's alarming to me.

All I wanna know
is that she's okay and she's safe.

- Where's Noor? Wasn't this her idea?

- Where is Noor?

- How are you gonna invite everybody over
and then be late yourself?

- She'll be late to her own funeral.

And the birth of her child.

And the birth of her child.

- What's up, ladies?

Hello!

- Hi.
- You're looking good.

- What's up, Noor?
- What's up, ladies?

- Hi. Thanks for coordinating this.

- Sorry, I'm a bit late.
I got caught up at work.

But I'm here.

Noor, is that the ceviche pescado?

- Ma'am.
- Thank you so much.

Cheers.

- Thank you.

- Jamila, was that the shrimp ceviche?
I think I got the fish one.

- Shakur.
Maybe, like, use a fork and a knife.

My God. Why?

- I can't hear you
all the way down there in Haterville.

Pssssh. Static in Haterville, I'm sorry.

We grew up eating with our hands.

Like, girl, why are you acting brand new?

They eat that way too.

When there's no cameras on,
they eat however they want to eat.

They do the same thing.

They're just more like bougie eaters.

I'm not a bougie eater.

- Where is Hamida?

- She knows.

I know where Hamida is.

But I'm never gonna
speak on where she's at,

and what she's doing,
and who she's doing it with.

Because why?

It's not my business

and it's none of yours.

- I know where she's at.

She geotagged a snap.

Where is she?

- In Paris, France.

Am I...

I believe Noor's face.

- Why did she leave?

- I think she wanted to go,
like, to just kinda take a break.

No. You're being reckless.

'Cause now,
you're just jumping on the plane,

kidney's still swollen,

don't even have medical clearance.

You just have the stints
out of your body for a millisecond

and now you're on a plane?

That's just irresponsible,
stupid, and foolish.

And if she gets sick again
and she's like that,

don't expect everyone to be like,
"My God, what's going on?"

Her immune system's already compromised.

Like, girl, you stupid. You're dumb.

- At the end of the day,
she's a grown-a*s woman.

She makes her decisions.

What're we gonna do?

- She wanted to go somewhere
where she felt happy!

- But what about her health, girl?

Mental health is still health.

I'm living in the twilight zone right now.

What's going on?

No one wants to ride Hamida
about her being MIA,

gallivanting across the globe.

And her physical health,
which is not well right now,

and no one wants to ride her.

But they always wanna ride me
about the most minute things.

It's not cool.

Okay, listen.

We've all gone through a lot.

And I think we're losing sight
of what's really important,

which is, like, our bond.

So I think that
we should all take a trip together.

We can stay in a house together,

like when we were kids growing up.

- So we're all gonna share,
like, one room?

- And sleep on the floor.

- Four on the bed, four on the floor...

Yeah.

I think it's a wonderful idea

that Noor has decided
that we do a girls' trip.

I would love to spend
some quality time with my sisters.

I feel like we sisters
have been more distant lately

'cause of the filming, to be honest.

Feelings have been hurt,
and usually, it's done in private.

It's a lot easier to forgive and forget
when it's just the family.

And now,
it's in front of a bunch of people.

- So what I think is that...

I've been looking into it a bit
and I think that we should go to Sonoma.

- I've never been.
- Sonoma, the vineyards?

- Yes, like wine country.
- So wine for the winos.

So this sh*t bas... bas...
Benefits you, Sid, and Jamila.

- Actually, Shakur,
if you were to look up Sonoma,

there's plenty to do
besides drinking wine.

- I know what you're gonna be doing, lush.

- I absolutely will.

- I love that idea, and I am very excited.

I hope Hamida shows up.
That's the only thing.

She will. She'll be there.

- With all my sisters on my case
the past few months,

it's really been piling up.

And I'm starting to feel like I did
when I was a kid.

I still think they look at me
like the black sheep.

It makes me feel like I'm on the outside.

So I'm really glad Jay and I
are getting to see Dr. Ally soon

because there's feelings I wanna address
and get out before my sisters' trip.

- Let the shenanigans begin.

- Okay, cheers, ladies!

To our sistership!

Hey, how are you?

Dad! Dr. Ally's here, honey!

Okay.

- Thank you so much
for coming back, Dr. Ally.

- Absolutely.

- Jay and I both did our homework
that Dr. Ally gave us.

We were both journaling.

It's a lot.

The issues and the qualms
that I have with my sisters

and how that sometimes bleeds
into the marriage.

We need to iron out
any wrinkles, you know?

And there's nine wrinkles.

My sisters.

- Who would like
to read their journal first?

- I'll go first. Okay.

"Everything with Jay right now is great.

"He never gets involved
in quarrels I have with my sisters.

"He just gives me an ear to vent

"and tries to help me find resolve

and tries to brighten my mood."

I've tired this man out.

- Okay.

All right, Josh,
let me hear what you wrote.

"Everything has been really good
between Shuk and I.

"Only time we are disconnected
is when her sisters stress her out.

"One thing about the Sozahdah sisters,

"they might fight hard,

"but they will always pretend to make up

until the next fight."

- Okay, so I'm...
I'm getting a little bit more insight.

- With my sisters, I've always been
a person where it's like,

"I don't want an apology. I want respect."

- What would that look like?

- Being like, "Wow, I see your efforts.
I've seen the struggle.

"I've seen what you've gone through.

I see your love
and dedication and sacrifice."

I left home at a very early age.

I was like the guinea pig.

I was the one that went against the mold
out of all 10 of us.

And I made that decision
after my daddy was m*rder*d.

And they were all like,
"Black sheep, black sheep, rebel."

And, you know, I got ostracized by them.

So now it's like, "Go fend for yourself."

- They didn't support you?
- No.

Specifically, with Khadija, how did it go?

- With Khadija? Her being...

I mean, she just...
She looked down upon me.

Kind of like, "How dare you?"

It's like,
you don't forget stuff like that.

Like, they're my family.

When I was 15, I felt like
the environment I was living in

forced me to leave.

I got abandoned by all of them.

All of them turned their backs against me
when I was younger.

'Cause they felt like

I went against what the religion tells
you're supposed to do.

I felt like no one came and looked for me.

And after everything that happened,

I still look out for them
and I will always protect them.

Even though I don't feel like
that's being reciprocated.

- Do you resent them?

- I'm very disappointed
at how I was treated.

- Let's get one thing straight.

Shakur never was kicked out of the house.

Shakur sought emancipation

and ran away and left the house.

I think Shakur ran away from home

because she didn't want
to be bound by rules.

Because we all had it hard.

- I'm very disappointed
on how I was ostracized

and how I was just chastised

because I wanted
to go and do something different.

- My mother and older sisters chased her

and begged her to stay.

She chose to not.

- There were several occasions

where Mom would have
a search party out for Shakur.

- And to see what it was doing to my mom,

mentally and emotionally?

She broke my mother's heart.

- If anything,
Shakur turned her back on the family.

I wanna hear from you, Josh,

how does it impact
the two of you together?

- To be real with you,
she's very controlling.

- It... It sounds to me

like your control comes from this desire

to... be seen by your family.

To be seen as important.

To be respected.

And what you're doing is
you're carrying it with you.

You carried yours for a while
and you coped with substances.

- Yeah, correct.

- You're carrying it
and you cope with control.

- Yeah.
- You gotta understand.

And then,
people don't respond well to that.

Exactly. So...

- And so now, it's this cycle
that's going on and on.

- How do I break that cycle?

- You have to put the control down.

The more you try to control,

the more exhausted you get.
- Possibly.

- So when you come up against
one of those uncontrollable things,

taking that moment
to breathe through it and realize, like...

"It's one of those things
I can't control."

- All I could do is try, right?

All I could do is try.

I'm looking forward to spending this time

to reconnect with my sisters
on this girls' trip.

And I think it'll be a great time,

as long as they don't meddle
and talk sh*t and ride me.

- On our way to Sonoma!

- Sonoma, here we come!

- You ready?

See you soon, ladies.

This is like...
This is like my fourth airport today.

- That's my best friend.
That's my best friend!

She's here!

- Well, look
who the cat decided to drag in!

Hamida has made the trip.

- She was at last call.

Like, "You have 30 seconds to get on board

or we're closing the doors
and you're gonna miss your flight."

I couldn't live like that. I would die.

- Okay.
- You look so disheveled.

- Hello. Nice to meet you. Hi, Jose.
- Likewise.

- Hi. How are you?

We just landed in Sonoma.

I am so exhausted.

This was my fourth airport
that I hit within 24 hours.

I haven't slept. I haven't showered.

I'm sweaty as.

I did not tell the show or my sisters
where I was going.

I was doing a lot better
after my kidney stone operation.

So I was traveling Europe,
having a good time,

trying to figure out
what I really want and what do I like.

But I just needed
to go on this journey on my own.

- Yes.

- Yeah.

- I'm so excited that Hamida's here.

Where have you been, Hamida?

I was just out.

I was just out and about.
I was around.

- I'm annoyed, and I'm elated,
and I'm relieved all at the same time

seeing Hamida's face.

I don't really care where Hamida was.

It's more so,

"Why did you feel you had to go
and put your health in jeopardy

to get away from it?"

But you can't tell Hamida anything.

That girl has the baby sister syndrome.

- Aw, look, it's the elders

and then it's the Wolf Pack.

Yeah.

- Muzlefa's not an elder.

- I'm not... I'm not technically an elder.
- Muzlefa's in pur... purgatory.

Muzlefa's actually part of the Wolf Pack.

- Muzlefa's coming in.

- Would you consider me
more in it than Shakur?
- Yes.

- I would say that
you're more of a wolfie than she is.

How are you gonna get rid
of the leader of the Wolf Pack?

Get out of here!
- I know, I'm right here.

I am the true president.
We all know that.

- Girl, bye.

How do you think it's possible
to kick me out of a group that I started?

I knighted all of them.

I gave them the juice.

I gave them the swag.

I gave them the jewels.

How do you think I can be replaced,
or I could be overthrown?

She always calls herself the leader.

She's never been the leader, not once.

- All right, enough of the Wolf Pack.

- Girl, bye.

- Shakur thinks that
she started the Wolf Pack,

when, in fact,
the Wolf Pack started back in 2012.

It was myself, Jamila, Hamida, and Noor,

and a few of our really good
Afghan girlfriends at the time.

Once that Wolf Pack kind of grew apart,
I went off to college.

Then Shakur joined the Wolf Pack.

She did not dub the name.

She did not create it,

as much as she wants
to argue and say she did.

But Shakur always takes credit
for things that she doesn't do.

Hoo! That was fast!

- Woo-woo!

- Can I have a water?

Well, everyone drinking alcohol
should be on this side.

Shakur, you should go over there
with the elders.

- Shut your a*s up.

- I think everyone's
really gonna love the place.

Two of us may have to share a room.

- Maybe... Okay, so
whoever's sharing a room

can get, like, the biggest room.

- That's cool.
- Correct.

- That's fair.

- Are you two just gonna share?

Since you guys go to bed
at a different time than the rest of us?

- Is it gonna be the biggest room?
'Cause I don't wanna...

- Yeah, so you guys
could have the biggest room,

and then, me and Noor
have the second biggest room

since we're sharing.
- Girl, bye.

- It's first come, first serve.
Whoever claims it, gets it.

- I think... I think
I should get the biggest room.

I am... Because I'm older.

- Never! No!

- Girl.

- Here's the thing, Shakur,

in all honesty,
if you're gonna have your own room,

it cannot be a bigger room.

- The size of the room doesn't matter.
- You'll get your own room.

- I'm gonna spend
a lot of time in my room.

So it does matter to me.

All night, you guys are drunk.

It's annoying.
It gets... It gets annoying.

Noor, you're the loudest. No.
- Shakur, you're out of pocket.

- I. Want. To. Have. Quiet for myself!

- Shakur's so loud
and obnoxious right now.
- No, I'm not!

This is the second time
Shakur's getting upset about a room.

Like, clearly rooms are your trigger.

That sounds like five kids...
Little kids fighting.

Like, "I want the big room."
Like, what the?

- You know what? I'll go to a hotel.
- Yeah.

Yeah, take your a*s to a hotel
and go get belligerent drunk

and go take your sh*t, girl.

Don't play around here with me.

What is she saying?

- Listen, I don't know
if anybody's noticed,

but Shakur's wearing Versace today, guys.

b*tch, tell this
mother little little twat

to shut the up.

Here we go again.

My sisters are picking on me
and ganging up on me.

It reminds me of my childhood days
when I was outcasted.

Here they are,
doing the same sh*t they did to me

my entire life, growing up.

Stop.
- From head to toe!

- Literally.
- Looks amazing.

- It was a extremely hard time in my life.

I felt alone.

I felt abandoned.

And no one really had my back.

- Listen, Shakur, everybody agrees
you can get your own room.

You get your own room. But guess what?

At this point, you don't need
to have the biggest room.

- Chill the out.
- Off!

- Everybody, turn your back to Shakur!

Get the out of here!

- Like, she needs... She needs to be ex...

Excommunicado!

All y'all can off.

Chill the out.

Off!

All y'all can off.

- Thank you.
- Girl, can we stop? Can we just stop?

Listen, listen, listen.
We're almost there. Can we just stop?

- Whatever room I find,

if I get to it first,
I'm gonna take that room.

Lace-up your sneakers, everybody.

- I would love to see you be loud
with me sitting on top of you.

Jose,
how long before we get there, boo?

About 20 minutes.

Twenty? When we're about five minutes,
let me know, please.

- Jose, let me know
when you're two minutes out.

No, let me know
when you're around the corner.

- You guys can never
spar with me one-on-one.

- It always has to be one on two or more.
- Why would I want to?

It has to be two or more.

- I'm there for everyone.

And here we are again, no one has my back.

I'm always the defender of everybody.

And I feel like,
"Why does no one do that for me?"

That just further enrages me.

This is happening all over again.

You guys made this into a situation.

Now, I'ma show you
what a situation looks like.

Shakur, no.

You're justifying...
You're justifying that you want...

- Khadija, why are you talking, bro?

- Be happy to be here!

You didn't invite me!

- It wasn't your deal!
- Girl. Girl. Girl.

Girl, girl, girl!
No, Noor put it together!

- The elders
shouldn't even be on this trip.

They don't contribute to this show
the way the Wolf Pack does.

They don't even acknowledge the fact
that I brought the show to them

for an opportunity.

They didn't respect me growing up.

They don't respect me now.

It's not a one-way street.
I'm sick of this sh*t.

- Shakur, why are you on a power trip?
- What are you, 12?

- The stop.
- Run, run.

We're not...
We're not getting out of the car.

We're not getting out of the car.

She thinks she can boycott us?

Let me see you
run the show, b*tch.

She likes to show her power.
And the thing is, by you...

- That's not power.
- That's not power.

That's disrespect.

The loudest bark doesn't mean
that you have any voice over anyone.

Just like I said,
I'll get the biggest room.

- I don't get it.
- That's not okay.

I'm gonna go this way, Sid,
see if I find a room.

Okay. Noor, I'll go this way.

- Khadij?
- Yes, darling?

- I think you and I are just fine here.

Do you wanna just stand there
and I'll just, like...

- I'm good wherever, Gina.

This is cute, Sid!

And it's got a good backyard view.

Oooh! Oooh!
We can go straight
to the backyard, so...

Here's our room!

It's so cute. We get our own beds?

It's perfect!

Hey, babe.

- It's already started off
to, like, a rocky start.

So, mind you, it was rooms, right?
The rooms. Obvious...

I... I don't know
what the room situation looked like
at the house.

- Let me tell you how it happened, Dad.

I said, "I would prefer
to have my own room.

You guys like to rage against the machine
late at night."

You know how I am.

I wanna be able to go in my own peace,

shut the door, lock it, and be left alone.

And of course, you know how they are.

No one ever goes...
Spars with me one-on-one.

They always have to tag team.

They always need an ally to come at me.

Same thing that you guys do
since we were kids.

This time, it was all of them tag teaming.

- I don't know.

Shakur was in... the mood.

She can only isolate herself for so long.

I know Shakur.

After a while,
she'll start to feel a certain type of way

and it physically ails her

when she can't be
around her sisters all the time.

- I haven't seen that side of Shakur
when she's that disrespectful.

She's holding onto anger,

because there's something
deeply seeded in her right now

that's bothering her.

Honestly.

- I think Shakur's acting out
definitely stems from her childhood,

and there being some trauma there,
and she hasn't dealt with it.

- She was just seeing red.

And she was just saying
whatever came to her mouth

with no regard for anybody.

She said, "Who invited you?"
I was like, "Who invited you?"

- Are you kidding me?
- No, no, no. See...

- Like, you aren't hosting this trip.
You aren't putting this thing together.

Like, what are you talking about?
- This is a sister trip.

- Exactly!

Let's see
who the ever does you any favors.

Your Botox, your PRP,
and all the sh*t, yo... your IVs.

You gonna talk sh*t about me?
You're trying to bring me down?

Girl, I will cut you off
with a quickness, okay?

I'm over it. Honestly.

She can stay in that room all day long,

and I'm fine with that.

There's so many bigger things
to worry about in life

than thinking about what the room
we're... we're about to spend the night in.

- It's not that. It's the principle.

We slept on.

I don't know when was the last time

all of us have been together
like this on a family holiday.

But if you choose
to go this path, that's on you.

- I'm not choosing. I'm...

'Cause y'all started it!
Now, I'm finishing it.

- No, you're not finishing anything.

What you're doing is
you're perpetuating it.

All of us have said let's stop
and drop it and move forward.

You're the only one
who's still stuck on it, my love.

- You are.
- Because y'all started it!

- But now let's... let's drop it now.

Please let this go.

You are gonna regret
that you spent this time being upset.

Okay. All right.

I tried everything in my power

to convince Shakur to let this go.

But if she's refusing to be reasonable
and put her pride aside,

then I don't know
what's going to happen at this point.

- Can I have a glass of wine
before we go, please?

- Okay, so you're gonna handle
all the sound and everything

and get the DJs?

There's gonna be two different DJs.

The start of our girls' trip
has been crazy so far

with Shakur fighting with everyone
over a room.

I'm hoping that
today's gonna be a little different,

because we have
a fun-filled day of wine tasting

and visiting the lavender farms.

Hamida, I need
to finish doing the rest of your hair.

Do you like how your braid came out?

- Yeah, girl. I mean, it's different.

It just looks a lot more refined
than how I would do it.

- Yeah, your hair always looks chaotic.

- No, it doesn't, but like,

this just looks very sleek.
- Polished and clean?

Yeah.

So I'm excited for today.

We're gonna have a really good time.

Let's all have a good time.

Let's get a little bit of turnt up.

We can have some sweet wine.

- I think we all need it.
- Is that so?

You're in agreeance to it?

I'm undecided.

- Okay. Well, let's just have a good time.

Let bygones be bygones. No drama.

- Hey, you don't start sh*t,
I won't start sh*t.

- No one's gonna start anything.
We're just gonna have a good time.

- I'm never the one to start it,
but I'm always the one to finish it.

After last night,
being ganged up on,

ambushed and disrespected,

I turned over a new leaf this morning.

I'm hoping we can have
a peaceful and nice and pleasant time.

'Cause if anything happens
like what it did last night,

it's gonna be a big problem.

How you feeling, Khadij?

- I really think that
she stepped out of line yesterday.

And she still needs to realize

that it's not okay
to say the things that you said

and think that there's no,
like, consequence to words.

- No, there... I mean,
there's a repercussion to everything.

- Yeah. I am not wanting
to be anybody's mother on this trip.

Do you know what I mean?
- No, girl.

I... I don't want that.

Let's not bring up the serum.

Now is not the time.

There's something
I want to share with my sisters.

I've developed a vitamin body serum
with Khadija and Muzlefa.

I'm really excited about it.

But I don't know if this is the time,

especially with
what's going on with Shakur.

I wanna have a good time.

It's a beautiful place.
I've never been here.

I wanna make beautiful, sister memories.
- A hundred percent.

- I'm not gonna let that small foolishness

take away from the next few days
that we have here.

- I haven't told the Wolf Pack,
specifically Sid and Jamila,

because Jamila's really competitive,

and I thought I'd get some resistance.

And sometimes they have the tendency
to take credit for things.

Jamila's already shown
that she's a fundraiser-zilla.

I just wanted to be able
to do something at my pace,

and work with sisters
that I was comfortable with.

All right, we are ready.

- Khadija and I
are gonna get turnt on lemonade!

Let's go get this party started.

- This looks so lovely!
- You're gonna sit next to me.

Of course, I am.

Of course, darling.

Darling.

- Are you ladies having fun
even though you can't...

Even though you choose not to drink?

- Yeah.
- I have iced tea. I have lemonade.

- I have my sisters' company.

- It's perfect.
- I mean, what more can you ask for?

Cheers, ladies.

- Cheers, cheers.

- To the fun ones.

And this is
our Sonoma Co. Chardonnay.

- Ooh!
- Ooh-la-la.

- I actually like this
probably better than the rosé.

- In our culture and religion,
drinking is haram,

which means it's forbidden.

If you are more... devout in your faith

and you practice more of your faith,

then you'll choose not to drink,

such as myself and the elders.

But it doesn't matter
that we're in wine country,

we're here because we wanna have
a good time with all of us sisters.

- This is so light
and refreshing and crisp.

- And very refreshing.

And it's also getting me
very light-headed.

Did you eat this morning?

Shakur, are you missing Jay?

- I always miss Jay.

Do you think Jay would enjoy this?

- He would. This is his stomping grounds.
- Yeah?

- I think Amy would love this,

- 'cause... she loves doing stuff like this.
- She loves cheese.

She loves wine and cheese. She does.

My God.

Maybe it's just the wine.

But did I just bring up Amy
in front of all my sisters?

Who's Amy? Your friend?

- She's a girl
that I really connected with at work,

which I never do.

Her and I got really close
in a short period of time,

and I introduced her to the girls,
and we all hung out.

I actually hung out with her
a couple of times.

Yeah, she told me.

I was just waiting for you to tell me.

- Amy told you that we hung out?
- Yeah.

Okay, so I'm just
super confused, Siddiqa, because...

I was having
all this conversation with Amy

and like, "Keep this between you and I,

"because I feel like this is something

that I would like to share with my sister
on my own when I'm ready."

Well, this is,
spilling secrets time?

I'm not sure I'm quite comprehending

the way in which
Hamida's hanging out with Amy.

Maybe Hamida's hanging out with her

like potential girlfriend?

So I'm a little confused.

- It's not spilling secrets.

It's just that I confided in her
because she's someone that's not my sister

and she is someone that, you know,

can give me advice on it
because she has been where I've been.

- This is all news to me.
I didn't know it was that type of hangout.

I think it's great
that you're able to confide in her

without cultural judgment,
religious judgment,

whatever it is.

I like her.

And if you like her and that's...

If you like her in another way,
that's up to you.

That's just it.
It wasn't that kind of hangout, right?

- Right now, I'm just flummoxed.

I don't know who this Amy character is.

I don't know what she is to Hamida.

Then I'm hearing
Sid saying that's her friend too.

So I'm just curious. Like, who is it?

Like, wait, I'm perplexed.

Hanging out, like chilling-chilling
or like big chilling?

Like... No,
like, you know, she's talking to me.

She's, like, giving me advice, like,
I don't know what the I'm doing.

But then it's kind of like
I feel like there's a lot of pressure

where I feel like I have to say
that... maybe it's a phase.

But I really don't know what I'm feeling
and everything is so...

You mean romantically.

- I'm not labeling it, babe.
I'm just saying that...

- But do you like her? Like, like-like.

- I enjoy her company.

- Is there an attraction?

- Does it matter?

Is it any of your business?
- That's irrelevant.

- Damn, I think it's pretty relevant.

- Did you meet with Amy

after we had our conversation
with the yoga?

- Yes, I did actually.
- Okay.

'Kay, I just need
a little bit of clarity, please.

Like, the level of like,

is it like you like her, enjoy her company
like how I do with a cousin,

or do you like her more than that?

I'm really disappointed right now.

You know, like,
I feel like this was my moment

to just share how I feel.

And here comes Shakur, like,
coming in with her two two cents

and, like, just up everything.

Why is she so upset?

- Hamida, we don't know
where she's at in her mindset

and where she's at.

But the idea of her exploring,
I think makes her uncomfortable

because she doesn't wanna disappoint

or feel like she's "sinning"

or doing something
that's outside of our family dynamic.

- If she's just curious,
then she's curious.

- What's the big deal? She's curious.
- It's not a big deal.

I think, for her, it's really difficult
to even express herself.

Why? Girl, we're in 2022.

- You feel that way.

- I mean, it's not like it's definitive.
She's exploring.

If you're exploring, and it's something
that sparks your interest,

but that's not really what you're into...

- We don't know.
- We don't know. But if it is, it is.

If it's not, it's not. It's her life!

- I think she just wants support.

And that's all we are here to do,
is give her support.

- Exactly.

I'm surprised that Hamida said
that she's still hanging out with Amy

after we had
our hot yoga session together.

You mentioned at the dinner that day

that you were dating girls?

- Um, you know,

I think it was just something
I was going through at that moment...

- I was shocked when you said it.

I was like, "Hamida's a man-eater.
There's no way that she would."

I don't know why she felt
that she had to hide that from me.

I think that Hamida's a little bit afraid
to tell me how she truly feels.

But honestly, I just want
to be there to support her.

I'm more concerned
about what my mom would feel about it.

- You're fine. You're fine, babe.
- No, I'm good.

- I know you're good. I know you are.

I know you are.

- Yeah, it's fine, baby.

It's okay. It's okay, you don't have to.
You don't have to.

Are you feeling this way
because you're worried about being judged

or because you really,
honestly, deeply care what they say

and how it's going to change how you feel?

- I think it's
a combination of both, Siddiqa.

It is a combination of both.

Kind of, like, I'm... Khadija's like
a second... like a second mom, dude.

- I know.

- I... I don't wanna disappoint Khadija.

She's always expressed

that I can always go to her
without having any judgment

and just be open to her.

And it's kind of like, I'm not doing that.

So I feel like
I'm letting her down, in a sense.

I just don't think
that this is the conversation

that I would like to have.

It's making me feel really uncomfortable.

And the way that Shuk
is coming off over there

on the other side of the table,

like giving these weird-a*s looks.

What Shakur thinks.

Who gives a?

Is... Is what Shakur's thinking
really affecting her?

- Does this not look like
she's affected by it?

- I understand
you feel judged by the girls,

but in the end,
what matters is how you feel.

That's all.

- I chose not to tell everybody
because this was for me,

and this is something that
I needed to do without my sisters.

- We'll change the topic.
Let's just have fun.

- Okay.
- You got it.

Three-way.
- All right.

Okay, let's go.

- Love you.
- Love you.

- We are here to support her,

and she has my shoulder to lean on.

I accept her for who she is.

And there's always going to be
someone in the family

that's going to give you heat,

but it shouldn't take away
from you wanting to share

who you really are.

Mariposa? You good?

- I'm good, babe.

Why you leave, babe?

- I just wanted to, you know,
take a breather, take a beat

to myself.

- Hamida, don't feel pressured or forced
to say something at any point in time

that you aren't ready to say.

And, Hamida, from my standpoint,

and I can probably
speak for all your sisters here,

we're not here to judge.

Like, whatever makes you happy, babe.
Do what makes you happy.

Could we all agree to that?

- Yeah. I agree.
- Yeah.

- Duh.

- Yeah, but I'm reading the room and...

that's exactly the opposite.

I literally... I can, like, feel the vibe.

- You feel my vibe though?
- My vibe is good, boo-boo?

- Babe, all your questioning

and it's like you're putting me
in this spot...

- Hamida, if it was a man,
I'd ask you the same questions.

I'm curious. What does she look like...
- It was your vibe, Shakur.

- It was your vibe
that made her leave the table.

- It was, like... 'Cause it was
all the pressuring with the questions.

- I'm probably the one that supports you
the most here at the table!

Babe, I'm telling you how I'm feeling.

How can you...
How you gonna tell me how I feel, love?

- And she's just saying

your interrogation of questions
made her uncomfortable.

- You guys are taking it as interrogation.

I'd ask her...
- She's telling you how she feels!

- Then how about
you have your conversations

not at a group discussion.

I'm gonna ask a question
if I want to ask a question.

- In this family, we should be able
to have open discussions

without being bombarded by questions.
- Exactly!

So I can't have open questions?

Give her the space to talk.

- Then it's not a...
Then it's... Then it's a monologue.

Then it's not a discussion.

Then let her have a monologue!

Well, then let me know
that's what the it is!

- Are you the head of this family?

She just now said it
after I asked the questions!

- Shakur, she said,
"I'm not putting a label on it!"

- Read the room, Shakur!

- Don't ask no questions. Got it.

- We are doing a Wolf Pack ceremony.

Shakur's excommunicado and Muzlefa is in.

Who agrees?

Here I was turning a new leaf,

ready to have a great trip,

and I'm being chastised for no reason,

for asking normal questions

about a potential lover
that Hamida is engaging with.

But I'm the bad guy
'cause I'm asking questions?

It's crazy.

Can we get some tunes?

I wanna pop that booty.

- It was nice
to get how I was feeling off my chest.

I didn't like Shakur's reaction
and how she was grilling me,

but I'm not gonna let her affect my trip.

She can sulk in the corner,

and I'm gonna have
a great time with my sisters.

- Hi. Thank you. I'm Brad.
- Nice to meet you, Brad. I'm Khadija.

Today, we're gonna
kind of focus on our lavender garden.

But we got
a little bit of wine to taste too.

- Love that.
- Yeah, I love that.

I hear there's a couple
of Sauvignon Blanc fans here.
- Yeah.

- We just got to the lavender fields,

and I hope that they can calm us down

and help us all move on from this drama.

Like, that's what we came here for.

To drink wine and have fun and let loose.

When in Rome, baby. Like...

- Cheers, ladies.
- Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.

- Cheers, Shakur.

That's really good.

Go ahead
and watch your step as you're going in.

- I feel so calm already.

So what you're looking at
is our harvest of this year.

Wanted to put you
to work here for a second.

We have to debud the lavender,

and I wanted
to give everybody a, lavender bundle.

Do we just shake it?

- No, you don't shake it. You pound it.

You ready? Like this. One, two, three.

Wow!

This is a great stress reliever.
Are you kidding me?

- Geez, Khadija.
How much stress do you have, woman?

Bam. Bam. Bam.

You can come back anytime.

- We'll work for wine.

We haven't tried the Pinot yet.

- Cheers.

You know,
I wanted to pull you here, Hamida,

because I just wanna say
that I'm really proud

of you even coming out
and even talking to the girls.

And I wanna say that it was very brave.

I can only imagine
how hard it is to be able to express

or share a secret like that
with your family.

- I appreciate that, thank you.
- Yeah. Just know that we're here.

- I know that you're going through
your stuff as well.

You know, just wondering
like, how you felt about like...

Are you gonna tell the family
about your situation?

- I don't wanna walk
into the rest of my future.

You know, the charity event
and everything that's hovering over me.

And our sisters do need to know

because they are gonna find out
at some point in time.

- No, how?

I'm not gonna say anything.

She's not gonna say anything.

This show is going to be on TV!

- It's gonna come out.
- Got it.

- So how you doing, Shakur?

Do you wanna, like,
just come over on this side?

- Is this a rhetorical question

or is this just like...
Are you being facetious?

I'm asking you a question now.
If I wanted it to be rhetorical...

- Then it's a rhetor...
It must be a rhetorical question.

Reiterating myself
that it has to be rhetorical.

All right,
are you having a good time?

Are you guys
being serious right now?

Do... Does it look like
I've been having a good time?

Girl, if I would've known
it would've been like this,

I would've sat my a*s at home.

I'm over it.

She's gonna just be in a bitchy mood
the whole time.

I know that Shakur is still in her mood.

I'm trying not to engage with her,

because I don't want
to set off some kind of expl*sive.

- Walk away. Walk away.

Shakur! You know what?
You wanna come out here and just be nasty?

We don't have to entertain that.

Rabya, you really can't talk to me, girl.

Stay in your lane.

Khadija and Rabya,
I don't even want them to be here.

When it comes to being sisters,
we're all equal.

When it comes to the show, we're not.

I'm being completely vulnerable,

putting everything out there
for everyone to judge,

everyone to chastise
and ridicule and scrutinize.

And they're not giving me
the respect that I have earned.

- I don't know
how this spun out of control.

It was a joke. You took it seriously.

The bedroom was a joke.

- It was not a joke.
- Jamila's tone was not a joke.

What she was saying was not a joke.

- Why do I hear my name being called?

I'm...
Why... Why is my name in her mouth?

Based on how she reacted
to you expressing vulnerability,

I definitely am not gonna
speak about my secret

in front of the whole group
with Shakur around.

- I agree.
- Hundred percent.

I feel that you should pick a better time

because now's not the time
with everything else going on.

Let's just go to dinner,

because I don't like
seeing Shakur like this.

Usually she's fun, goofy, silly.

And this whole time,
she's just been completely to herself

and reclusive.

- Another time. Another place.
- Okay. I'll... I'll... I'll sleep on it.

I'll sleep on it.

The girls are right.

With the way Shakur's been acting,

this is not the right time for me

to bring up my pregnancy
and miscarriage with the other sisters.

I do know
that it's going to have to happen.

I just don't know when.

Wrap it up. Wrap it up.

Muzlefa, wrap it up.
We don't gotta deal with crazy.

- Don't know
who you talking about crazy, Rabya.

You're not even supposed to be here, girl.

Be happy you're here on my trip, girl.

This ain't your trip!
You didn't pay for it!

You're welcome, girl!

- You didn't pay for it!
- You're welcome, girl.

You welcome.

Shakur keeps saying

that Khadija and I
are lucky to be on this trip,

but what I really think she's saying

is that Khadija and I
are lucky to be on this show.

If Khadija and I weren't here,

maybe there wouldn't be
enough of a dynamic.

Maybe five pretty girls wasn't enough.

Guess what?
A big family. Love. Sisterhood.

Our story. Where we come from.

How about all that?

Deep down, I'm hurt because
you're my sister and I love you.

Don't you want all your sisters with you?

Like, this is not what my mom and dad

broke their back
to bring us to this country for.

If there's one thing
I do not stand for, it is disrespect.

- I'm hoping that once Shakur
has some time to cool off

and realize it's not a big deal,

that she'll be fine,

and we can just carry on
with the fun sister time.

I had a freaking blast.

I don't know about you, ladies,
but I had such an amazing time.

Jamila, I'm so happy
that we got to try the actual, like, grape

for the La Crema Pinot
that we drink all the time.

And the lavender, Khadija.

Thank you for helping set that up.

I'm glad
that we had a good time at the winery,

but I really want
to deal with the whole Shakur situation.

This trip is about unity and togetherness.

So I'm willing to do
what it takes to move forward.

And if Shakur wants an apology,
then I'll apologize.

Well, let's go ahead and all take a beat
and move forward and onward.

Whether or not we think
that we owe Shakur an apology,

for the sake of just the family
and our sisterhood,

if that's what she needs
to help her come back to the inner circle,

then let's just give it to her
and move on.

I'm happy to give Shakur an apology,

but I'm not gonna spend
my entire dinner on a conversation,

listening to her
how she felt she was wronged by us.

So I will gladly apologize,

but my dinner is gonna be a good dinner.

- Exactly.
- Okay?

- We're still sisters.
This is a sister trip.

So we just need resolution.

Do you guys all feel the same way?
Like you guys...

- I agree. I agree.
- That's fine. I... I'm...

- I'll do it
for the sake of us all moving forward.

But do I genuinely think
she's deserving of one?

Absolutely not.

But for the sake of everybody here

and to enjoy
the rest of our trip together,

I will say, "I'm sorry."

We're supposed to be here
to have a good time.

We're here to make memories
and to enjoy each other's company.

sh*t, we took time off work,
time off from family,

from kids, from everything.

And everybody seems to be on the same page

except her.

- All right, listen.

I'm happy to have this conversation

because I'm super excited
to go have a nice, lovely dinner,

to continue drinking some wine.

Honestly, we'll see she...

Muzzie.

I'm gonna separate our stuff.
I'm probably gonna leave right now.

I got nothing more to say.

- Shakur, my love.
Can you please have a seat, babe?

I'ma head out.

Next time on Secrets & Sisterhood...

Shakur,
if any one of us have done anything

to offend you or hurt your feelings,
we are truly sorry.

- That doesn't mean sh*t.

- Get the out of here!
- Fake-a*s apology!

All right, I'm done with this.

- Walk your a*s on off, "elder."

Fake-a*s Khadija.

- And I am getting treated like sh*t.
- No. No.

- And not getting my just due respect.

Shakur, are you gonna stay?

- You know what?
At some point, this is gonna come out,

so I should be the one to tell you.

I got pregnant earlier this year,

but, unfortunately,
I ended up having a miscarriage.

You're being rude.

You wanna attack me, Jamila,

'cause my reaction wasn't what you wanted.
- Stop barking.

- Should I walk away?