01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

- Party's here!

Previously, on
Secrets and Sisterhood...

Happy birthday, Nooreya!

- To me. Woo!

- Are we gonna have, like, Shakur come?

'Cause she's mad at everyone right now.

Rabya and Shakur are in a huge fight.

- When is Shakur not mad?

- She said very specifically,

"I want my room to be
separate from you guys.

I don't wanna hear you guys."

- I am owed an apology,
and you know what...

- Do you think you owe her one too, though?
- I... You know what? No.

- An ultrasound was done.
There was no fetal heartbeat.

I was going through... a miscarriage.

- You know how I feel
about children before marriage.

I mean, let it be a lesson
that it don't happen again this way.

What the?

- Let's get the juicy gossip.
Who's dating who?

- I'm actually seeing a girl, you guys.

- God.
- Get it outta your head.

- Khadija, her face, like...

She thought I was joking
where then I was like, "Well, sh*t.

Should I take it back
and act like it's a joke?"

I wish I didn't say anything.

- We had a deal, Shakur!
- That don't matter, Rabya!

- Doesn't matter? It does matter!

- Should somebody,
should somebody else go outside?

You were renting
a room out of my house, Rabya!

My heart is sinking.

Holy, this is
gonna ruin Noor's birthday.

- You got that house because of me!
- My husband paid for it, girl!

My husband paid for the house!
How is it your house?!

Done with you. Whatever.

I paid... My husband paid for it, girl!

Is there anyone
mediating between you two,

or are you guys...
- No! She just goes, "I apologize

"because I reacted to your, like,
y-your attitude and your this,

but I should've been
better than you."

- What will it take for you to drop it?

- I want her... I want,
I want a real apology from her.

- All right, all right, all right.
- I want a real apology.

- So, let's...
- Not, not this bullshit,

"I'm sorry that, that..."
- Okay, Rabya. All right.

- That's not a apology.
- Okay.

- She's like, "What kinda apology,"

and I was like, "Well, you haven't
even said I am sorry yet."

She's, "I did nothing wrong." The?

- Shakur, the point was...
- Sid, you need to stop, boo-boo.

No, and I was.

You're not putting this
all on my shoulders,

so, no, mind your business.

It's a wrap and I'm straight.

- Shakur...
- If y'all gonna keep danglin' it

over my head like

a carrot for a horse.
- Don't talk to me in that tone.

Rabya, people will
say things to be reactionary.

- But honestly...
- I don't want Nooreya over here.

I don't want her to see this.

This is not the way
this family is supposed to operate.

Everyone take off their mics.

Everyone take off their mics
to have a private conversation.

- I don't know how to take it off.
- I don't even know where the it is.

- Rip it off. Rip it off.

We'll get it, we'll get it.

- Then come, then come take it off.
I'm not gonna ask you again.

Come take it off.

Let's go.

Dad will be rolling in his grave.

- I'm done.

- Where?
- Like, it's crazy.

- Well, I thought it was my birthday.
- It's Nooreya's birthday.

Stop calling the shots then.
If you wanna go home, go home. Bye.

How is this happening

- and taking over my birthday?
- Yeah, that's up.

- Bye, hon.

- Siddiqa!
- That's up.

- Girl, bye.
- Yeah, girl, bye.

- The situation is
no longer in my control.

I don't know
what to do to fix this.

sh*t has gone so far left.
Crazy things have been said.

So, now I need to just leave.

- I'm... Just so disappointing.

I'm hurt because
it's just so disappointing.

What a... It's just so petty.

- It's fine. It's fine.
- No, it's not fine, Jamila,

'cause she can't do
that sh*t on her birthday.

It's her day.

- Are you kidding me?

This was all Sid's fault.

Why would she have them
reconcile on my birthday?

Then when things go south,
you're the one who wants to leave?

You already know my loser exes

have ruined my birthdays in the past,

and now you're doing it to me.

Here's what I'm struggling with.

And I don't know
'cause I wasn't there, right?

Did you say, "I'm sorry?"

- I said it multiple times, actually.

- So you didn't say something along like,

"I'm sorry that you felt hurt."

"I'm sorry that you felt this."
- No. Nope.

Not, not that you felt anything.
- You straight... You, you flat-out said,

"You know what..."
- "I'm sorry for actin' poorly

to your bad behavior."

- Shakur's saying, "I'm sorry
that your behavior led to this."

Okay, Shakur, so your
apology wasn't really genuine.

You didn't mean it.

- I'm better than that.

- This is not how we respond
to situations as a family.

We're going to resolve this right now.

Look at, look at me.

- I've been wanting to try this class.
- Thanks, babe.

I've always wanted to fight you guys.

- How's it goin'?
- It's goin' good.

So, how do you
think Shakur's gonna feel?

You know what?
We're boxing today,

so maybe she can get out
whatever aggression

- she had in her out.
- Shouldn't have happened.

- I know, I know.
- Unacceptable.

Sid ruined my birthday
and I'm pissed.

Jamila's processing her own loss.

Shakur and Rabya aren't getting along.

I'm going through a breakup,
on top of all of this,

so we all have a lotta pent up
aggression and frustration.

So, we all need this right now.

Let's just punch some sh*t.

- I just figured...
Like, you know me,

I just kinda run away
from drama, so fill me in

'cause I feel like
I've missed a big chunk.

Speak of the devil.

Literally.
- What's up, babe?

- Hi, babe.
- Hey, babe.

How are you feeling?

- Rabya and I fought hard,
but we still came back together,

and I'm happy that
we were able to find resolve

because I do want Rabya
to be present at the pool party

that I'm throwing for my mom.

She's supposed to be going to Pakistan

as soon as she gets her visa,

and I don't know how long
she's gonna be gone for,

so I want to build good memories,

and I want everyone to be there
to be able to enjoy that.

I hope you don't break your nails.

- Shakur, keep up, keep up.
- Great.

Jamila, you gonna knock one of us out.

h*-hold on.

I still need to clear
the air with Shakur,

but after what happened
at Noor's birthday,

it's best that I just
put it behind right now,

and just focus on having
a good time with sisters.

- I'm so... I'm sorry!
- Hey, it's okay.

I get hit every day. It's all good.

Hamida, straighten out
your arm when you do it.

- Don't hit like a girl.
- I am a girl.

- Hamida's never worked out
really a day in her life.

- I'm tired.

- She's not used to this type
of cardiovascular activity.

Well, not this kind
of cardiovascular activity.

Come on, show 'em how angry you are.
Come on, get your anger out.

Use our hips
and that front leg when we pivot.

That's... Okay! You've done that before.

There you go. Right back to your chin.

Three.

- Two.
- Two. Don’t stop on me now.

One!

- There we go.
- Time.

- What'd you say? What'd you say?

Hey, don't mess with the Sozahdahs!

Do a jump!

- What'd you say to my sister?!

- That was really good.

It was really nice that Josh came out

and, you know, celebrated.

It was funny 'cause
when two of the girls had left,

he's like, "Well, now you're down
two drinkers. I'll drink with you."

- And then, he gives me these looks

like, "Man, I want to."
- A lot of it was more so joking,

and he does it to see
how far he can take it.

- All right.
- He's never been a drinker.

That was never his DOC.

- And he shouldn't be.
- Like, he's never been the drinker.

Like, he doesn't really drink,
and I don't keep alcohol in my house.

He's never been the drinker,
so if you give him a little bit,

he doesn't know where to stop.

- He seemed a little bummed,
though, that he couldn't.

- I mean, he'll get over it.
He'll be all right.

I see what my sisters are doing,

and they're doing their typical
little meddling.

But right now, the wave that
Josh and I are riding is beautiful.

Like, we good over here, bruh.

- I think he still had a good time.

- He looked nice.
- He had a great time.

- Yeah.
- Tell me about that guy,

S-Sumey?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

- He's a nice guy. The girls like him.

- He's cool.
- He's funny.

- I think he's a nice guy.
- He is so funny.

But knowing Hamida,
she might it up.

- You said at dinner you were
interested in, like, dating girls.

Now, you're bringing this guy around.

Like, I'm just confused
as to where your head's at.

- Um, I feel like maybe it was,
kind of, like a short-lived phase.

Yeah, I was just figuring sh*t out.

Just kinda... I was coolin' off of guys,

and then, Sumey, he's,
like a Midwest small-town boy.

He's not like a boy.
He's not... LA hasn't gotten to him.

- I know when Hamida's lying. I can tell.

I think that Hamida's
telling the other girls

it's just a phase just
to get them off her back.

Nothing she says is going
to really resonate with them,

and I think that they believed it
because it's what they wanted to hear.

- Can't believe that he came
into family drama like that.

I was shocked.
- He was shook by that for sure.

- I don't know...
how what happened transpired.

I didn't even know
that was gonna be my birthday thing,

- which is really nice, I appreciate it.
- You're welcome.

- Love you, baby.
- Love you, too.

- What I don't appreciate, though,

you guys chose my birthday occasion

to supposedly reconcile,
and there was no reconcilement.

It was, like, just more drama.

- I'm over it.
I'm happy now that it's over with.

I truly, truly feel like I'm cool with...

- It's been water under the bridge for me.
- I-I know, but I do feel that

you guys both got closure.

This was something to move past

and it finally happened.
- I'm, I'm so happy for that.

- At the cost of my birthday, sure.

- Noor... so me and you are clear,
that... I only obliged Sid to do that.

I did not wanna do that.
Her intention was, like, pure.

- But she shouldn't always
involve herself like that

because then it gets sticky.

- I need to talk with Sid.

Siddiqa. I'm frustrated
with her for so many reasons,

and the first one is my birthday.

Then trying to get everyone
to leave, another whammy.

And on top of that, she hurt me when
she threw my relationship in my face.

- Nooreya, you are really MIA.

- I think that him and I are
in a very good place, actually.

I think you're so used to being single

that you forget
what it's like to actually be

in a healthy and productive
working relationship.

- When's the last one you had?

- Right here, right now,
we're making a pact,

- at least between us...
- Okay.

- we are not going to start any drama,

partake in any drama...
- We're not.

- or condone any drama.

Don't start no sh*t, won't be no sh*t.

- She likes it very... like kinda strong.
- That's why I put two bags.

- Let it steep a little bit.
- When has she had

less than two bags of green tea?

- Thank you.
- See, it's like I, like I didn't

know any better.
- That is hot, girl.

- Obviously, it was good
if she wants to go back.

- Wh-Wh-What was so good about it, Mom?
I don't understand.

Did you do any cooking?
Did you do anything?

- That's why she wants to go back.
- She didn't cook. She didn't clean.

- When my mother fled w*r-torn
Afghanistan in the early '80s,

she left behind
her only sister and her family.

After 30-plus years,
my mom was finally reunited

with her sister's family.

Unfortunately, my mom's
sister has since passed,

so when my mom visits
my cousins in Pakistan,

they treat her like gold, like diamonds.

They wait on her hand and foot.

Literally... her wish is their command

because she reminds them
so much of their mom.

- You left for six months.

You haven't even been here that long.

- Like, you've barely been here.
- I don't understand.

- We send a lot of money back
to our family in the village

because zakat is one
of the five pillars of Islam.

It's required by every Muslim,

and it's giving to those
who are less fortunate

and don't have the means.

It's not just a part
of our religion and culture,

but because we know that
they have basic necessities,

and we wanna help out as much as we can.

But at the same time...
I wish that we could just send it

and that would be enough.

But they want my mom
to be there, physically.

And all of us are scared for her safety.

- I don't know, Mom.
I get what Shaista's saying.

We should be first

and it seems like
you're making them first.

- Hey, babe.
- Hi, babe.

Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too, hon.

You said Taco Tuesday, I'm like...

I came over here like this from the crib.

- You know, there's a, a quote
that Tom Ford says

- and he says...
- God, here we go with the quotes.

- "Dressing well is a sign
of good etiquette."

I feel like I'm pretty caught up to speed
as far as what's going on in your life.

I mean, you're always around us.

Sometimes, you know, you're in your mood.

- Ditto. Jamila having many of them.
- And Shakur following not too far behind.

After my phone call with Shakur,

I've just been trying to keep
some distance between us,

and not hang out
with her one-on-one.

With the loss of the baby,

right now, I'm still processing
the whole situation.

- It is what it is.
I mean, let it be a lesson

that it don't happen again this way.

- This is not a lesson learned, Shakur.
Come on, are you serious?

Thanks for your support.

- Jamila!
- Okay.

She's having a pool party
with the sisters and Mom,

and so, I'd like to resolve whatever
I'm feeling, internally, right now,

and just talk to her as a sister.

So, after the miscarriage,
you're the first person I called

because number one,
you were with me through the worst of it.

Then, when we were
having the conversation,

I just remember you
just being insensitive.

Like, I didn't... I wanted you
to be there as a sister.

- Your feelings are valid...
but I'mma be real with you.

You deserve to be a wife
before you deserve to be a mother.

A man could put a baby in you,

but he can't respect you enough
to wife you up?

Like, that's ridiculous to me.
- We all have opinions,

and I think one of the reasons why
I probably kept this a secret from you

was because I was afraid of the judgment.

I was afraid that you were
gonna bring culture into this.

- It has nothin' to do with culture,
has nothin' to do with religion.

It's more like dignity.
Like, respect yourself,

respect your p*ssy.

- I think what hurts me
the most is the idea that,

like, I almost deserved this
because I went outside of,

like, the culture and the religion,
and now this is my punishment.

I already feel enough blame.

I already feel enough guilt and shame.

I don't need to feel it
even more so from a sister.

Shakur, I do respect myself.

Not like I was planning this...
- I know that.

- but what if I would've
had the baby, Shakur?

- And the man didn't ask you to marry him?
Girl, bye... Bye.

- I need a drink.

Like, you're so amazing,
and why wouldn't a man marry you?

You see a bunch of people celebrating
baby showers with no marriages.

That's not my way.
That's not the way I want for my sisters.

I think every woman
should enjoy a pregnancy

with the father of their child,
and have that support system.

Know that I always want best for you.

- I know.
- So, I'm sorry. I am.

- I hear you.
- Right? It's a difference

of opinions and stuff.
- Right.

Shakur has a very
antiquated approach

to dating, love, marriage, and children.

I just don't believe in that.

And at the end of the day,
this is my life,

and I'm going to live my life.

I just wanted you to be a sister, right?

- I'm sorry.

- My God.
- Perfect.

- I don't always need
my sisters to agree with me.

We're a family.
We've been through the toughest times.

Even though we don't see eye-to-eye,

that we're still gonna be there
for each other, no matter what.

So, are you ready to be a mom?

- Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I want babies.

But before me,
he had a vasectomy, before we even met.

And then, right before we got together,

around that time,
he had got a reversal vasectomy.

- So, before you guys got married,
he told you he had a vasectomy,

but it was reversed.
- No. Nope. Didn't know about it.

Because at that time,
he wasn't in the right head space

from all the pharmaceuticals
he was taking.

He probably honestly
thought that he told me

that he had a vasectomy reversal,
but he never had disclosed it to me.

- Are you mad that he hid it from you?

- I don't think he hid it,
he just didn't disclose it.

- When you lie about something so big
as, you know, you getting a vasectomy

when my sister's trying to get pregnant,

I mean, what else are you hiding?

- He forgot to tell you
one important thing

that could be the difference between you

having and not having
a family with this man.

- J had offspring
with previous relationships,

and unfortunately,
he didn't get a real chance

to be a father to them.

And I hope to one day
be able to give him the opportunity

to parent and be a father
the way he deserves.

But we do need to talk more
about the vasectomy.

I think it'll all work out.

- Sure hope so.

- 'Cause I'm destined
to have a couple kids.

That's, like, facts.

How many phone calls did you get?

- I, at least a dozen.
- Or text messages?

- Noor's birthday,
that was a sh*t show.

If I was there,
I never would've let this happen.

I'm just wondering why one of you
didn't go outside to mediate.

- I wanted it to be hardcore,
Rabya and Shakur, raw sisters bonding.

- But not at her birthday party.

- I would've never
let that play out

had I known it would've
turned into the fiasco that it did.

For me, it was worth it.

Yeah, it was
a substantial amount of hurt.

And I told Shakur...
And I told her when I hugged her,

I said, "Listen, I really do
love you with all my heart."

I was never going
to ruin Nooreya's birthday

over something that I have with her.

- I feel bad about leaving Nooreya's
birthday party the way I did,

but I really didn't like the drama
and the fighting that was going on.

I am happy, though,
that there was reconciliation,

and an apology at the end of the night,

so, hopefully, Nooreya's
not too upset about that.

- Now, are you gonna be there
for sure at Shuk's pool party?

I-I wouldn't miss it.

- Mom's going to be going
to Pakistan, inshallah, right?

So, this is gonna be her...
She's gonna get ev...

She's gonna be able to see everybody.

She's gonna be able to see everybody
before she goes

because you sure as hell
ain't gonna go with her again.
- Mom wants to go.

- Mom wants me to marry someone.
- Yeah, right.

- I'm like, "No."

- Well, the thing is this, Rabya and Mom
and Shaista were over at my house,

and we had that conversation.

And Shaista was a little bit upset

because she said,
"Mom, you know, you're our mom,

"and you're their aunt,
and they call you Mom,

"but the fact that you're willing
to leave us behind to go to them

"doesn't settle well with her.

"If God forbid something happens
to you, you're our mom, right,

and we, we will have lost you,
and that's too much to bear."

But Mom said...

Mom said... she wants to go back.

I know what you're gonna say
'cause I've heard her say it.

I put myself in the situation.

I was like, "God forbid,
that was ever one of my sisters."

And one of my sisters
passed away in childbirth,

and her... majority of her children
didn't know what she looked like,

never saw her, never had a mother,

imagine how you'd feel.

- When she told me that, it resonated,
and I, and I completely understand,

and now I want her to go...
as quickly as she can

'cause that's the one thing
that she wants to do,

and that's what's gonna
give her the peace in her heart,

like she did something, right?

- I don't think it's that we don't
understand that concept,

we definitely do, being sisters.

I think what worries us more is
the safety issue of what's going on

in that side of the world right now.

You know...
- That's always going to be there...

I mean, there was
the earthquake, there is the danger,

but now things are more shakier
than they used to be, Khadija.

Everything has changed.
Now it's a strict Islamic state.

Women can't even go to school.

And now Mom's traveling without a man.

It's like, "Whoa."
- But she's on the other side.

- She is, but it's
bordering that country...

- Of course.
- And there's Taliban everywhere.

- I know, but at the end of the day...
- No, 100%.

- So, to me, it's like I'm being
more of an American thinkin' about it,

like, "Okay, I want Mom to go,
but, my God, it's so dangerous."

- Siddiqa's fears are valid,

and I completely understand
where she's coming from,

but at the same time,
we need to respect

my mom's decisions and her wishes.

I would rather we focus our energy
on having a good time with my mom,

making memories,
like at Shakur's pool party.

I don't want my mom to leave sad.
I want her to leave happy.

She wants to go one last time

- before she's not able to go.
- That one last time, though,

it make, it makes my heart sink.

- I'm glad you were able
to get away from the kids,

and we made this happen.
- I do need to decompress.

Khadija is like a mother figure for us,

and after the whole dinner,

and I just kinda dropped
the b*mb on the family

about, like, you know,
exploring and women,

and I haven't been able to have
a real conversation like we used to.

So, I just feel like this is a good place
where we're both just gonna be really Zen,

and I can just
open up to her and talk to her.

I should always do this.
- I know.

I do?

Take your right arm
and extend it to the top of the mat,

and roll onto your right side.
- All right.

- You're gonna tuck knees in.

- Between me and Khadija,
I'm definitely more the athletic one.

Am I outta shape, or do I need to do yoga?
- No!

Even though I was
struggling, like.

But I'm still more athletic.

- How am I doing better than you, Hamida?

Bend the knees, start to roll up.

- To be honest, I'm more
athletic than Hamida anyway.

This is my favorite part.

Thumbs to the forehead.

- Namaste.
- Namaste.

- I felt all tingly inside
when I said that.

Yeah, you did. Beautiful job, ladies.

Thank you so much for having us.

I think we should
come back here again.

I'm definitely down to come back,

especially when I'm dealing
with all your guys' stuff.

My God, I really needed it.

There's so much that
I need to ask you about.

And you've been kinda
MIA a little bit, Hamida.

I wanted to ask you
about Noor's birthday.

I heard that you brought a friend.

What did you hear?

- I heard a lotta sh*t.

- Hi!

Hi!

- Sumey!
- How are you?

- I wanna know what you heard

- before I divulge too much information.
- But you know me.

I say hello to a lotta friends,
and I don't know which ones are friends,

and which ones are homies
and stuff like that.
- No, he's, he's the homie.

- He's the homie?
- Yeah.

- I forgot what his name was, but...
- Sumey.

- Sami.
- Sumey.

- Sumey. You mentioned
at the dinner that day

that you were, you know,

dating girls.

What's up with that?

Hamida just... loves guys.

So when Hamida shares
that she's seeing a woman,

I was taken aback.
I was really shocked by it.

But at the end of the day,

I want her to do
what's gonna make her happy.

- Um, you know,
I think it was just something

I was going through at that moment.

When I did say that,
I think I was just, kind of...

- Frustrated?
- Very frustrated.

And I just found a lot of...
- Comfort?

- Comfort. I think I-I found
solace in, like, another female,

you know, that could understand me.

Right now, I'm just kinda
telling Khadija it's a phase.

I'm telling her
what she probably...

What's gonna probably make
her heart feel better at this point

because there is such a respect
and authoritative figure there

just in front of me,
like I really don't wanna...

I just don't wanna disappoint her.

- I was shocked when you said it.

I was like, "Hamida's a man-eater.
There's no way that she would."

But when I had a conversation with Rabs,

she was like, "Is she gonna
tell Mom that she's dating girls?"

And I was like,
"Rabs, unless she's 100% certain,

"which I'm certain she isn't,

there's no need
to mention that up to Mom."

- If there were no consequences,

I would love to tell them
how I truly feel,

and what I'm doing,
and why I'm doing it,

but it's, like...
there's too much of a respect level

that I refuse to cross.

So I'm willing to sacrifice what I want

for the sake of the happiness of my mom.

And I don't wanna worry her
before she leaves to Pakistan.

After spending so much time with family,

I've come to a realization that
I wanna start a family, you know?

- Yeah. And I hope you find that.

- I don't know if I'm denying
myself of feelings,

I don't know if I'm overcompensating
by bringing male energy around,

or if I'm... I don't know.

I don't know. It's... I don't know.

- Maybe you just need
to look in other places.

Problem is, where you're going
is where all the douchebags are at.

You're such a little b*tch.

- Hey, how are you?
- Hi, Shakur.

- Hi, Tracy.
- Thanks for askin'. How 'bout yourself?

- Good. So, this is, Muzlefa.
- This is sister number six.

- Wow.
So, we're 'bout to get her
jazzed up and done.

I've been coming
to Dollhouse Beauty for years.

- What's up, ladies?
- Hey, Noor. They keep comin'.

Look, and she came ready. Look at this.

- I did.
- Okay.

And she's a lush.

One of my really good friends,
Graciela, owns it,

and it's like a one-stop shop.

You can get your hair done, your nails,

and after the fiasco
at Noor's birthday party,

I just want the chance to say
I'm sorry and pamper her.

So, what's the deal, Shuk?
Is everything okay with you and Rabya?

Everything is as if it never happened.

Everything's good.
- So, things are 100% good

with you guys now?
- 100% on my end, yeah, absolutely.

It's all good.
It all worked out amazingly.

Girl, you know I'm not one to hold grudges
and I'm not the one to dwell on things.

Once I'm, like, forgive and it's forgiven,
it's water under the bridge.

- Yeah, but it takes a long time for you
to, to give an apology, Shakur.

- It's gotta be two-way street, honey.
- You're stubborn.

You're very stubborn.
- I am. 100%.

- And I think you should learn
how to exercise some self-control.

If it ain't the pot
callin' the kettle black.

Honey, I'm not the one who

got into a fight
at someone else's birthday.

- Noor, you're also
very stubborn with your apologies.

- Ooh, thank you.
- Pardon? Me?

Yeah, you are.

- Yeah, right. I'm the last one.
- Yes, you are, Noor.

- I'm the least prideful.
- No.

- I'll be the first one to apologize.

- No, I-I would say otherwise.

- I concur.
- I'm sorry that you feel that way.

- There you go, see?
- You guys sound erratic.

Case in point.

You know, I don't even know
why that happened at my birthday.

I don't know what gave
Sid the bright idea

to have a reconciliation that night.

When it comes to birthdays,

I wanna make you feel special on your day.

- She just didn't use the right timing,

and I don't think
she really thought it through.

It's okay.
If I have to hash something out,

she's gonna have a birthday, too.

What? You can't do tit for tat, Noor.

- I'm just saying.

I really just wanna chat with Sid

because I'm feeling personally
offended and a bit hurt.

It's just a number of different things.

She's thrown my relationship in my face.

She's ruined my birthday,
and she won't take any accountability

for the times that she has hurt me.

I know that the next time I see Sid
will be at Shakur's pool party,

but Mom is gonna be there,
and I don't wanna upset her.

I don't wanna put my mom through that.

- It's good that you're progressing,

but I'd still like
to see that number lower.

Look at her cleaning all the time now.

Well, no, Shakur always said,
"When I have a big, beautiful house,

I'm gonna change,
start cooking, cleaning."

And she has.

- I kinda like seeing
her as wifey, though.

- Ooh, thanks, girl.

I'm looking forward to have a day,
relaxing day, for my sisters,

and to spend time with my mom.

She's supposed
to be going to Pakistan,

and that journey,
in this political climate,

is just very, very unsafe.

And I don't know how long
she's gonna be gone for,

so it's imperative for all of us
to spend quality time with each other.

- I wish you wouldn't do that
around the fruit, though,

'cause that's disgusting.
- Hey, look, I'm spray...

Baby, I'm spraying it this way. Look.

Look, see?
- It still... It splashes.

- I've also asked Jamila
to bring her IV drips.

Hydration is key, girls.
Never be a thirsty b*tch.

Never.

- So, what do you guys
have planned for Mom?

- So, we're gonna have...
I'm having a masseuse coming over.

Jamila's giving some sisters IVs.

I don't know which IV is...
To who she's giving it to.

Do you want the IV?
If you want, I'll give it to you.

- Yeah, I do want the ID... the IV...

- Okay, so then ask nicely, Hamida.
- I'm not gonna fight over an IV with you.

Either you wanna
give it to me or you don't.

- Hey, guys, no drama, please.

I haven't been feeling well.

I recently found out that I have
to get some kidney stones removed.

I haven't shared the news with the family,

I haven't told Mom,
and I don't wanna worry her

because she's going back to Pakistan.

But Jamila knows what's going on
and she knows that I need this IV.

So, what the f*ck? Like, I need this.

- You poke the bags,
and I'll get the IV started with her.

It's protruding.

- Concierge medical provider
at your service.

- Like that?

I don't know what the hell
Jamila's wearing.

She has never dressed
like this in front of my mom.

Like, sh*t, cover up.

- Hot outside.
- Hi, Mom.

Don't judge me, Mom.

Sorry, Mom. Here I am.

Yeah, there you are.

“I no like it.”

Is that a bikini top?

- Yes, it's a classy one.
- It's cute.

See, now it's cute.

I mean, not to rock in front of Mom,
but yeah, super cute.

I didn't know I had
to wear a freakin' full garb,

during our pool day.

Growing up, I always
followed my mom's rules.

I didn't wear a tank top until college.

I'm not living under her roof anymore,

so I'm gonna live by my rules,

and I got nice boobies.

- Mama... what's some of the stuff
you wanna do on your bucket list?

What do you wanna do for fun,
Mom, before you go to Pakistan?

- Skydive.
- Okay.

- Would you jump out of a plane, Mom?
- No way.

I don't know.

- Okay, something smaller.

- What would you wanna do?
- Mama, you said you wanted...

You tried the massage, right?

So, you... what I did,
I got masseuse for you today, Mom.

- Okay, so you're okay with her
massaging your legs, yes?

- Yeah...
- How 'bout your head?

- Head okay.
- Okay, perfect. How 'bout your shoulders?

What's left?

- Is anyone actually gonna
swim today or no?

- Do you remember
the stuff we had to wear,

with the T-shirts and shorts?
I'm like, "I'm drowning!"

You can't down the slide like that.

- And it didn’t work. In the slides,

I was like, "I'm so excited!"

I was like.
I'm like.

- Growing up, we had to be
covered from head to toe.

So, imagine being a little girl swimming

in long sleeves, full-on pants,

and you have to be covered

because that's what
your culture tells you to do.

- And the lifeguards would say,
"No, you can't wear that.

You can't swim in that."
- Like, "We have to wear it!

We're not allowed
to wear anything else!"

- I still wear that.

- You don't cover your hair, right?
- I don't cover my head. No, no, no.

When I go to the beach,
then I wear the tights to my ankles.

- Girl, you sound ridiculous.

- Don't even
get me started about

women and what they
can wear when they swim.

It just seems complete a*s-backwards

to expect a woman
to be fully clothed in a burkini.

This makes no sense to me.

This is completely oppressive,
and I, I won't stand by it.

I don't know why people
think that you have to be naked.

- Yeah.
- Like, why... You don't have to be naked.

- Leave something to imagination.
That's what I believe, you know?

My God.

- Walk, walk with me.
Walk with me, sister.

Girl, I can't.
I cannot with these conversations.

- It's full-on shame.
- It's bullshit.

- Even this much is showing me...
Is making me uncomfort.

- I get Shaista.
She came here when she was like...

- Twelve.

- But with Khadija,
it's, like, sometimes I see her,

like, acting like one of us,

and sometimes I see her acting like that,

and then I get confused.
- Exactly. You can't pick and choose

when you decide
to cover or not cover.
- That's why she was like,

"I wear it at the beach." I'm like.

- I've never seen you wear tights
at the beach.

- Ever. Are you saying that
'cause Mom is here?

- That's why I'm dressed
like this today, Sid.

I really don't care.
I'm at a point where

it's, like, I'm gonna be me.
I am a grown-a*s woman.

I'm kinda tired of the narrative

that the elders are so
holier-than-thou in front of Mom.

I understand, yes, respect,
but we live in America.

I mean, we should be able to dress
however the heck we want.

- I love my religion, I'm Muslim,
but there's specific things that irk me

because the culture,
it's an oppressive thing.

It's, like, culture versus Islam.

- Well, it's so, it's so heavily
integrated, culture and religion.

- Exactly, and no one knows
how to draw the line.

They've em-embedded
into their, their minds,

they brought it with them to America,
and they try to impose it on us,

but we were like, " that sh*t."

It's a good thing they came
and we weren't born there.

We'd be stoned to death already.

There would be no
number eight or number seven.

- There wouldn't be a number five.

Having gone through a pregnancy
and then a miscarriage

completely changed my perspective.

And I don't need
to follow anyone else's rules.

I'm going by my own rules at this point,

and I'm gonna be myself.

You know, swimming in a bikini.
Why is that a bad thing?

I'm just living my life.

We present to you...

- That's a cute one.
- The burkini!

This is a vibe.
Very much couture, baby.

Ooh, girl, look at it. Give me a camera.

- I need a picture of this.
- Yes!

- It's so nice to be with each other,

even though we picking at each other,

fighting with each other,
roasting each other,

but we still had fun.

- Wait. I'm not wearing...
- You not wearing bottoms?

I forgot I took my bottoms off.

- It’s pretty good?
- So good.

- This reminds me
of the old times when we were kids.

Of course, I'm still upset with Sid,

but now is not the time or place
to say something like that

because Mom is here,
and I don't want there to be any drama.

I want her to enjoy her time,
and to have good memories

before she leaves to Pakistan.

We really need to talk about Mom.

Are you all seriously okay
with her going to Pakistan?

Like, it's not worth the risk.

- I see her every day
and she is unhappy and depressed.

- I understand that my mom
carries this sense of guilt

for being able
to take refuge in America

while her sister was left behind.

But it's just not safe.

Last year, when she went,

with the government collapsing
and Taliban taking over again,

I honestly woke up every day scared,

and my heart really couldn't rest
at ease until I knew she was okay.

- Are you gonna go with her?
Keep her safe?

- God's gonna protect her.
And that's how she feels,

so I'm gonna respect that.

So, anybody that has
anything else to say about it,

like, if you're not seeing her down...

So, basically, you
wanna get her out of your face,

you're not gonna watch
her down and tired...
No, no.

- and send her to a country
where it's not safe.
- I want her to be happy. No, no.

Don't put words in my mouth, sweetheart,
'cause I, I have a high vocabulary.

I want her to be happy.
- All of us do.

- You guys are living your "best lives."
Like, why can't Mom live hers?

She can go somewhere else.

Switzerland, somewhere
where she actually can enjoy.

- But that's not happiness to her.
- Wants to go where her family is.

- She doesn't wanna go
on a vacation 'cause she's bored.

- I'm not gonna put her life in jeopardy.

- My mom was very fortunate to leave
Afghanistan and come to America,

and we're all very lucky
to have a life here.

She left behind her sister
who had 14 kids.

My cousins live in the mountains,

they're isolated,
they're away from civilization,

they live in mud huts,

there is no running water,
there's no electricity.

And this is where my mom wants to return.

I mean, that could have been our life

had my mother not been able
to flee, to come to America.

We don't stop... Do we stop
each other from doing things?

No, babe. It's different.
We're in, we're in America.

- Doesn't matter.
What makes me think I can

tell my grown mother what to do?
Absolutely not.

- Rabya, you sound so ignorant right now.

You're ignorant.

- She's a grown woman.

She can go where she wants.
- Thank you.

Obviously, somebody
well-educated is agreeing with me.
- She's a grown woman.

She raised 10 kids.
I think she's done enough.

Let her go.

So, it's gonna be, um, interesting
having Siddiqa here?

- Yeah.
- I know that you were kinda like...

Something you wanna
talk to her about.

- I just really wanna gauge

why she felt the best opportunity
for Shakur and Rabya to hash out

their drama was on my birthday.

- I learned my experience with Siddiqa.

She will throw it back in your face.

When she's angry, in that mood,
once she's at that level...

- She responds emotionally.
- She will come at you.

- Yeah.

I'm still upset with Sid
about my birthday,

and how she threw my relationship
under the bus at the beach.

When Siddiqa gets upset,

she wants to hurt back
the way that she feels hurt.

And she does that with her words,

and sometimes, words that
you've told her in confidence.

Well, speak of the devil.

Sid!

We were just talkin' about you.
- You were?

I do want to reconnect
with Hamida and Noor.

They go out a lot together,
they have their own little secrets.

You know, I get a little
bit of FOMO

so I wanna catch up with them.

- Well, here's to the three
of us coming together,

what used to be the OG crew.

- It is the OG crew still.

- Cheers to the trifecta.
- The trifecta.

- Fries and chicken plate?
- Yes, thank you.

- So, did you have fun at my birthday?

- I had a good time
because there was reconciliation.

- So, I'm just wondering
why you thought my birthday

was the good occasion
to hash all that out.

I'm just curious.
- Are you upset?

It's the first time I'm hearing about it.

- I would never do that on your birthday.
So why, why did you choose mine?

- 'Cause there was, obviously,
a little bit of tension and awkwardness,

and I said,
"If you're planning to do it,

"just do it and get it over with,

so we can continue to have
a good time and carry it on."

I didn't know it was
gonna go that far south.

It still looked like you had a good time.
- But you didn't even apologize to me.

And it's like,
I have no idea what happened.

All I know is you walked up
and you're like, "Okay,

birthday party's over.
We're leaving, we're leaving."

- I think I had already
assumed it was over

because Shakur was saying things,
and she was upset,

and the mood had turned sour.

So, I had assumed that it was over anyway.

- Can I ask you a question?
Do you throw our sh*t in our face?

- I never throw your sh*t
in your face, Nooreya.

- I do not.
- You do, Siddiqa.

I cannot agree.

I can ask any sister.
I can call anybody right now.

They'll be like, "Yeah, Siddiqa
throws sh*t back in your face."

- Never. Call a sister.

Call a sister. Call Jamila.
- All right.

- 'Cause that's a lie.

This is what happens with us sisters.

We fight about one thing
and it turns into something else.

Sid has burned us in the past
by hitting below the belt.

She'll say something
that we told her in confidence

and then later on, bring it up in a fight.

Like, "Well, maybe you
deserved what he did to you."

This has happened
between Noor and Siddiqa

when she broke up with her ex.

And that kinda makes us really reluctant
to wanting to share anything with her.

Jamila.

- Did you ever feel
that Siddiqa throws sh*t

back in your face after you tell her?

- "There have been times."

Thank you. That's all I wanted to know.
- Ask her about yourself, though.

- Confirmed.

- Ask her about yourself.
- Babe, that's it.

- Like, why are we having
such a negative conversation?

I'm not.
I'm being honest about my feelings!
You are!

- I don't trust you! I ca...
- Nooreya!

I honestly don't feel like
I can say sh*t to you

without you throwing it in my face!

That's why I don't talk to you about sh*t!

- Nooreya.
- That's why I don't tell you
what's going on in my life!

That's why she doesn't
tell you what's going in her life!

- The reason why the three
of us haven't hung out together

'cause, honestly, you have
really f*ck' loose lips.

You throw everything
back in someone's face.

- That's not true.
Hamida, I'm not gonna argue you...

Girl, bye.

- I'm not gonna argue you, babe.
- I'm done.

- That's not true.

- All I was trying to do
was share my feelings

on why I don't open up as much to you.

- But I didn't ask
if you opened up or not, Nooreya.

- Well, w-why can't I share that with you,
whether you ask me or not?

Am I not allowed to share how I feel?
- Nooreya, but what about,

but what about my feelings, love?

And that's not cool, Siddiqa.

- Can we take a break?

'Cause this gettin' really serious.

Okay.

I wanna get off the mic.

I'm in complete shock.

Like, I'm not understanding,
"Why are you doing this to me?"

Whatever. I don't really
have anything to say.

She's getting
so sensitive for no reason.

- Shakur?
- That's not cool.

There she is.
There she is walkin' away

the second that something
is not going in her direction.

- She literally walked off.
She walked off.

She's walking away.

Sid!

Siddiqa, stop walking!

Sid! Stop walking, Siddiqa! Sid!

Siddiqa, stop!

I'm just telling you.

Siddiqa, I'm not in the shot.
I just wanna talk to you!

Let me talk to you!
Why are you running away?

Why are you running away from me?
Let me just talk to you!

That's it, I'm done. I said my piece.

I'm not gonna... I can't.

I apologized, I took accountability.

She doesn't wanna listen.
That's not my problem.

- Beso.

Next time on Secrets and Sisterhood...

- Is it cute?

- He sent me a picture!

My God, do you see me
in the background?

- Can you take pain?
This is, like... It's intense.

- Physical pain is nothing
to the emotional pain

that you are capable of causing.

I don't trust Josh as much
as Shakur does right now.

- Jamila came. She was on my a*s.

- She always does that.

- Why is she meddling so much?

- I can't have these feelings.

So, for me, it's like,
"Do I just deny it?"

Like...
- Don't deny it, please.

- I can't tell Mom.

Why did you call me
a clown-a*s b*tch?

- Is that something to say to someone?
- Well, at the end of the day, though...

- Jamila, you are verbally a*usive.

Who here has been
verbally abused by Jamila?