01x05 - The Widow

[bunniefuu]

Ugh. Oh, my God.
What is this shirt?

Is that a negligée?

Oh, she's pure trash.

Oh, tight.

Keys, keys.

f*cking doors.

What!?

You've gotta be kidding me.
Come on.

- Gina?
- Hi, b*tch. I need your advice.

So, I'm seeing this person.

They're non-binary
and they're fine.

I want them to want me.

But, like, it's a refresh.
I'm trying to find my, like,

voice, you know,
aesthetically speaking,

when it comes to like

how mask-presenting
I might wanna be?

Okay. Listen, Gina.
I need you to come meet me.

- What?
- It happened.

Just like I told you it would.

What happened?

I slept with that guy on Tinder.

You did what now?

Yeah, that disgusting dude?
I slept with him,

and woke up the next morning
and we were married.

Wha... Hold on, hold on.

I can't... I can't hear you.

Sorry, I thought you said
you banged a dude

and woke up married to him?

Yes. That is what I said.

Please, just try
to remember, okay?

Remember what I told you
about my p*ssy?

Uh, that sometimes it gets dry

depending on how much sugar
you've eaten?

What? No.

So, the alcohol.
Candida's real, ma.

It's a silent k*ller.

Listen, I need to find Elijah.

Who's Elijah?

My husband.

Okay. April Fool to you, too.

Your husband's name
is Nick Santorelli.

He makes a sh*t-ton of money.
He's a garbage person.

But he did get me that camera
for my birthday,

so I try not to judge.

Gina, I need you to come meet me
at the Radner Museum.

Honey, I ain't got time

- to look at art today.
- Please.

These grapes are not
gonna crush themselves.

Just trust me. Come.

What-what are we doing?

- Huh.
- Huh?

Um... I can explain later.

Uh, or now.
Now feels like good time.

Okay. Open your purse.

You need a mint?

I only got the organic kind.
They don't really work.

No, no, no.
Gina, just, just open your purse

and we'll look inside.

Oh, don't you... okay.
Don't touch that.

sh*t.

Oh, my God.

I know you did not just
throw my sh*t on the floor.

Those crystals
are not cheap, babe.

sh*t!

It didn't transfer over.

You're here,
but it didn't transfer with you.

- Gina.
- Hello. Hey, wait.

- Just follow me, Gina.
- Hey, wait. Where are you going?

Where you going?

You're not gonna
clean this sh*t up?

Honestly, you're lucky
my purse is organized

or I'd be tight right now.

Sorry, I just...
I can't lose this guy.

What about this guy?
'Cause you came pretty close.

Also, can we take, like,
baby breaks?

You know, to gather ourselves?
Hydrate?

Are you seriously
drinking wine right now?

It's 11:00 in the morning.

I'm sorry, are you judging me
when you, not five minutes ago,

dumped all my sh*t out
on the street and walked away?

What crawled up your a*s
and took a dump?

You day drink
as, like, a profession.

What? No, I don't.

You offered me cocaine
at your niece's christening.

I what?

Yeah. And anyway, drinking wine
is literally my job,

which I left with the quickness

because you told me to meet you
at some random museum

nobody goes to, with
zero other relevant details.

And even though,
if I remember correctly,

it was me
who called you asking for help.

I know. I just...
Gina, I need you to trust me.

Yeah, you keep saying that,
but at a certain point,

I'm gonna have to ask
a few more questions, you know?

The most pressing being...

why are we following
the Dalai freaking Lama?

If I try to explain it to you,
you're not gonna believe me.

But I need answers,

and I think he's the only one
who can give them to me.

Twist.

Who knew the life of a monk
was so normcore?

Monks do taxes?

Monks are just like us.

Except they don't f*ck nobody.

Makes more sense
than you'd think.

Is that a dig?

What? No.

Okay, good. 'Cause I'm trying
to get to a place

where I'm like,
more sex positive or whatever.

Yeah, that's fine.

No, actually it's not fine.
It sucks.

Sorry, can we circle back
to this?

Okay. Wow. Okay.
Yeah, let's just circle back

to this epically painful journey
in my life.

- Oh, my God.
- You know what?

I've been single
for literally ever.

I make no money. I--

Gina, really. That wasn't a dig.
I was talking about me.

Mm-hmm, yeah.

I was... I wasn't judging you.

You know, that'd be a first.

What is that supposed to mean?

You're like the most
judgmental person I know.

Nothing's ever good enough
for you.

Nothing ever satisfies you.
It's... Never mind.

Oh, my God.
So, you're gonna cry now?

Sorry.

Even though I'm the one
that's telling you I'm hurt.

I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

All right, all right, all right,
all right, all right, all right.

Calm down, calm down, calm down.

- Hey, breathe, breathe.
- Okay.

I'm sorry, that was harsh.
I'm on my period.

Babe, it's my second day.

It's just... you're right.

I... I can't ever be, um...

probably will never. Ever.

Hey, what's going on with you?

Can you just tell me
what this is all about?

It's just that...
No matter how many times

I try to explain it,
it's not gonna make sense.

How do you know that?

Because I've...
I've tried already.

What are you talking about?

This the first time
I'm hearing about this.

Exactly.

- Oh, my God. Mae.
- Uh?

Mae... Um... I...

What? Oh, my God, Gina.
What? What? What?

Mae, um...

What, Gina? What is it? What?

Nick is dead.

Oh!

Yeah.

Nick, your husband.

He's... he was hit by a bus
this morning.

Yeah.

Is this the first stage
of grief?

Are you in shock?

No. Um...

I know.

- You know?
- Yeah, I saw it happen.

- What?
- This is what I've been

trying to tell you.

- Hold on. You saw him die?
- Gina, none of this is real.

No, don't you beg.
You saw your husband die,

and then you called me
and mentioned none of it,

and then asked me to go
on some monk chase with you?

This, this is real.

This is as real
as it f*cking gets, Mae...

No. Gina, it's not, I promise.

I... Who are you?

It's not real. Please.

- What?
- I can explain it to you.

I just... I don't know.

I don't know
how to process this.

Please. Gina.
Gina. Gina, please.

Gina!

f*ck!

sh*t!

Hi. Table for one?

Oh, I'm sorry.
Is someone joining?

Uh... no.

Okay. Well...

Excuse me.
Could I actually sit there?

Wherever you like.

Hi...

- Hi.

Oh.

- Hi. Excuse me.
- Hello.

Oh, hello.
Um, I'm sorry to bother...

You're sorry?

- Well, yes.
- Why are you sorry?

Just because
I know you don't know me.

- I know you.
- You do?

Yeah, yeah.

Um, I-I am from the museum,
the Radner.

We worked on that show together.
I'm a curator--

You are a human being.

I am a human being.
We are known to each other.

Oh. Right.

Um...

W-well...
um, the-the thing is--

Breathe.

Oh! I...
I... think... I'm... being...

trans...

- ...ported.

Breathe in quiet.

Okay.

You are transported
between worlds.

Yes.

This is the essence
of meditation.

Oh, but like, uh, no.
But like, actually.

What have you found?

Uh, I... that, uh...

I guess that I can't seem
to feel at home in any of them.

You're an island.

- Uh...
- Have you been?

To an island?

The closest I've been
are the ones

in the middle of an avenue.

Even better.

Do you operate from this place?

I guess, yeah.

I've always been
a bit of a loner.

The thing is that, um,

the only constant
is my best friend.

Uh, she's there, every time.

And I'm thankful for it,
but I can't understand why,

and now I've lost her, too.

I mean, I've,
I've lost everything.

You met as children?

In foster care.

Is she suffering?

Yes.

Are you suffering?

Yes.

Is there room
for her suffering in you?

You're so loyal
to your suffering, hm?

You are seeking comfort.
The comfort of knowing.

But life is in the unknowing.

Desire is discomfort.

It is the space between
the wanting and the getting.

Do you know this space?

This space is your teacher.

If you can embrace it
without shame

or guilt or clinging,

you can begin to live.

But what if I'm not supposed
to be here?

What if I'm supposed to go back?

There's no going back,
only forward.

Only now.

Only now.

Um...

You take care of yourself, okay?

Hey.

Do you have someplace
to stay tonight?

Here you go.

You... you sure?

Hey, it's Gina.
Leave a message.

Gina, hey, it's me.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I promise this will all
make sense one day.

You need a blanket?
I have extra.

Yeah. Thank you so much.

Hi.

Yeah, you. Hi.

Is this weird?

I just wanted to say hi.

Come here.

Sit down.

Doesn't take a rocket scientist.

Oh.

You have to come closer.

Closer.

Even closer still.

Hey...

Why is Fidel Castro here?

Why wouldn't he be?

What the f*ck.

Sorry, don't have any.

Here you go.

Oh, um...

It's okay, really. Take it.

No, I-I...

Okay, well, if you're
too proud to take the money,

I could at least
buy you an egg sandwich.

I'm gonna get one anyway.

My mom always says
it's important to give back.

Oh, yeah.

She's a doctor,
so she's, like, always giving.

Wow.

Yeah, she's my idol.

- That's amazing.
- Yeah.

How do you like your school?

Oh, God, I love it.

I know that's not
like the cool thing to say,

but I have great teachers
and friends,

and this boy, like,
just asked me out.

- Really?
- Yeah, it was pretty cute.

He had this picnic set up,
and I saw it from a distance

and, I don't know, I...

You turned around?

No, God, no.
I just got super nervous.

Thought I was going to puke.

I don't know why I freak out

when someone shows me
that they care like that.

But, no, I got myself together
and sat down, and it was...

we had a really nice time.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

What's the moral of that story?

Um, I don't know.

Bacon, egg, and cheese?

Hey, it was, uh,
nice talking to you.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was really nice
talking to you, too.

Hey, thanks.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Beautiful night.

Gina, hi.

Oh! Sorry. I'm sorry.

Mae?

My head was buried in my phone,
that's my bad.

Guess that's what I get
for not being in the moment.

Mae?

Sorry, do I know you?

Hello?

You look so familiar to me.

No, I... I don't think so.

Mae?

Maybe you just
got one of those faces.

Mae!

Maybe it's a past life thing.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

This is forward.

Do you want
to get a drink with me?

Oh! I'm actually
not drinking, but...

Oh, okay.

Yes.