01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

SIRENS IN DISTANCE

Hiya! Oh, hey! Look
at us, leaving early.

Don't suppose you fancy
doing something later?

Oh, I'm knackered, and the
kids... Early night beckons.

Yeah, of course.

You OK?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, Lars and his wife
are taking Elis to Sweden tonight.

Oh, wow. I'm fine.

I mean, I'd like to
avoid being home alone

with a bottle of gin and
my life choices, but...

♪ Oh, yes, it's Ladies' Night

♪ And the feeling's right

♪ And she's leaving on
time To get dressed up

♪ Oh, what you wearin'? ♪

Erm... Hi. Catherine,
this is Neelum, A&E reg.

Hi. And fellow Ladies'
Night attendee, usually.

I'm working on the biggest
night out since lockdown one.

Tear up the dance floor for me.

Have a good shift. Whoo!

It's just a thing that my
friends organise at the mosque.

It's a British-Pakistani
community thing.

With a dance floor?

Yeah, but it's not in
the mosque, obviously.

There'll be a dance
floor and a buffet.

But I wouldn't be welcome?

Oh, no! It's not...

I mean, people bring
other... friends.

Oh, great!

Oh... OK. Well,
text me the address.

Well, er... Yeah, why don't
you come to mine first,

and then we could
drive together?

Why don't we get an Uber,
then we can both have a drink?

Sorry. OK.

Well... Well,
brilliant! MARYAM LAUGHS

Thank you. Yeah.

Ah!

OK.

Did you change the sheets
in the spare room for Mum?

Yep.

Well, give me a call
if you need anything.

Well, you're the
on-call consultant,

so, yeah, I will. How long
are we keeping this up for?

I'm not keeping anything up.
I can only apologise so...

You're not apologising for the right
thing. Yes, it was out of hand.

I was out of order.

Because I'd just found out
that you'd gone behind my back

and brought your sister
back into our lives,

breaking a fundamental agreement
of our marriage. That's not why.

Reporting for Team
Cavendish night duty.

Buzzing to run the hospital?
You and me, Tessa. Can't wait.

HE SIGHS Have a
good one, ladies.

I've had a whole can.

TESSA HICCUPS

Great (!)

LIFT DINGS

SIRENS IN DISTANCE

Jaldi se.

Eat fast, your straighteners
are plugged in.

MUSIC: 'On Your Own' by Fryars

Jaldi!

♪ I've been your
closest ally... ♪

You're gonna go on an aeroplane
with Daddy and evil Auntie Brigitta!

Who am I? Huh, Elis? Who
am I? Can you say "Mama"?

And don't eat anything you
don't like the look of.

ELIS WHINES No, no,
no. No snot, come on.

Let's look after Mummy's
pretty dress! Yeah!

Thank you. Aw!

Oh, God, don't
forget Cuddle Cat.

Oh, yes, of course.
Oh, oh, hello!

You look, erm...

..nice. It's nice.

Thank you. Yeah.

Did you say this
thing was in a mosque?

No, it's Maryam's
friends from mosque.

You don't think
maybe it's a bit...?

♪ On your own

♪ Feeling like you
don't belong... ♪

PAGER BEEPS

♪ On your own

♪ Feeling like you
don't belong... ♪

PHONE RINGS

The lady in bed four
does not look well.

Well, she isn't.

Neelum, hi. Yeah, I
called straight back.

Well, just stay by the phone.

OK.

Yeah, OK. OK, I'm coming now.

OK, I'm going to A&E.
You're in charge, Dr Joseph.

♪ And stay strong

♪ When you're feeling
Like you don't belong... ♪

CAN CLICKS

I hope I can summon
some energy for this.

Hold still! I'll
burn your ear! Sorry.

You know, if you took
all the energy you spent

worrying about things
that never happened

and put it towards your career,
you'd be a consultant by now.

You wanna worry about
something, look closer to home.

I've not seen you and Raza
exchange a kind word in days.

I-I just need an early night.

What you need is to laugh with
your friends, and a dance.

Scientifically proven
to lift your spirits.

And I'm going to show off my
dazzling, accomplished daughter.

HELEN: You need me to tell
you that's not pneumonia?

No, I need you to tell
THEM it's not pneumonia.

Wife is a former matron.

Yeah, screw your courage to
the sticking place, Dr Khan.

That's above my pay grade.

Sorry to keep you
waiting... Amanda!

Hannah, get up, we're
leaving - they've sent Helen!

How are you? Aw!

Oh, Hannah, I've heard
so much about you.

I'm Dr Helen Cavendish,

and I'm the acute registrar
on duty this evening.

I've worked with your wife
since I was a medical student.

HANNAH CHUCKLES

So, er, we must have
some results back,

if you're here?

Is there any history I
need to know before...

Hannah has advanced
ovarian cancer

and has led an active,
joyful five years of life

whilst on chemotherapy.

The last month, it's
been a rougher ride.

She's had a cold for a
few weeks she can't shift.

We're hoping it's pneumonia.

In which case, we'd
like antibiotics to go,

so we can get out of
this den of viral load.

Is there anything else
I need to know, Hannah?

No.

I don't think it's pneumonia.

The cancer has
advanced to your lungs.

Er, I... Can I see?

Yeah.

I'd like to admit you,

so we can keep you comfortable
until you've had a chance

to discuss your options with the
oncology team in the morning.

BREATHLESS: I
want... to go home.

I think that you should
speak to Oncology first.

And there's one semi-reclining
chair there that we'll...

I want to die at home.

You know Oncology, they'd
dig you up to give you chemo.

Speak to the specialists first.

Don't admit me.

Our end-of-life plan is for me
to take care of her at home.

Finally, 40 years of frontline
medicine comes in handy.

You're the night-duty medical
reg, Helen. You can discharge us.

I, er... PAGER BEEPS

Sorry.

Hardest job in the hospital.

I think that you should
review your options

with the oncology
consultant in the morning.

There is nothing more to
be done, though, is there?

Just needs you to say so.

Please.

While she's well
enough to leave.

Listen, I think that we should
all think about it for an hour.

I'll be back.

Admitting her? Er,
maybe. I just, erm...

PHONE RINGS OUT

Tessa, hi. What is it?

OK, well, that is more
or less what we expected.

Yeah. Sounds like a good plan.

You're doing
brilliantly. PAGER BEEPS

Neelum? Mm-hm? I'm right here.

It's like, if I don't page
you, did it actually happen?

NEELUM HUMS

DOORBELL It's Catherine,
someone get it!

Yeah. I got it, mate.

CATHERINE: Hi.

Oh, God. Salamu
alaikum, sister.

That's not helpful.
Sorry, sorry.

I was trying to be
respectf... Oh, sh*t, sorry!

Erm... Wow, you look amazing
in that dress. Thanks.

Oh, wow! Er... Mrs
Afridi, you look...

Dr Masoom. Er, you
look beautiful.

I'm sorting it, don't worry.

Let's go upstairs.
Otherwise, we'll be late.

Sorry, good idea.

SIRENS IN DISTANCE

HELEN: Hey. GUY:
'You missed bedtime.'


advanced ovarian cancer,

X-ray shows lung metastasis.

They've got an end-of-life
plan to die at home,

and that's where she
wants to go, immediately.

'Is she well enough to leave?'

Well, she is right now, yeah.

It's Amanda Hendrix's wife.

'Oh, I'm very sorry
to hear that.'

I should admit her, shouldn't I?

Or else face a territorial
oncologist in the morning.

'Well, you won't, I will.

'Chances are the same decision'll
get made in a few days.'

Yeah, but by then, she'll
be too unwell to go home,

and she'll die here, which
is what she doesn't...

GLASS CLINKS ON PHONE

Are you drinking?

'What? Oh, my mum's opened the
Chablis. I wanted to try it.'

You're on call.

'You don't trust me to have
half a glass of wine now?

'You're being completely
hysterical about this.

'Are you sure you're
coping there OK?'

WHISPERS: Oh, my God, you...

'I'm happy to face down
Oncology for Amanda

'if that makes this an
easier decision for you.'

You were proper skinny.

I can't see it at soft play.

I hate soft play.

How long will Elis be in Sweden?

A few nights. Longer next
time, if it goes well.

Are you OK with that?
Yeah... No... Dunno.

How about you?

Yeah.

Your hair looks
amazing. Thanks.

Let's just forget about it, go
out this evening and have a dance.

Is there somewhere we can
stop and pick up a can of G&T,

or something I can down
in the back of the car?

SIGHS

PHONE RINGS

Helen Cavendish.

'Hey, stranger. It's
Magda at St Harry's ICU.'

Oh, hi, Magda. 'A
weird one for you.'

We are trying to identify a
patient in her late 40s, maybe.

White, curly blonde hair,
benzodiazepine overdose.

Nothing on her except a
scrap of paper with...

'Ready? Your name written
on it. "Dr Helen Cavendish."

'And I'm like, "I
know one of those." '

MUSIC: 'Morning Light' by Federico
Albanese and Tara Nome Doyle

'Helen?' Sorry, erm...

Sorry, I-I don't know.

♪ All you are... ♪

'I thought she was
maybe a patient.'

Is she, er, intubated? 'Yeah.'

She was found
unresponsive and hypoxic.

We're fighting for her,
but she's really sick.

'Just wanted to get
hold of the family.

'If you think of
anything, let me know?'

♪ And all I ask... ♪

Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Thanks. See you later.

♪ Is there any way... ♪

I think bed four has died.

Just deal with it, Tessa.

MUSIC: 'Family Affair'
by Mary J Blige

♪ Oh-oh... ♪

CROWD CHATTERS

MUSIC CONTINUES

♪ Let's get it crunk up on

♪ Have fun up on
Up in this dancery

♪ We got y'all open,
now ya floatin'

♪ So you gots to dance for me

♪ Don't need no hateration
Holleration in this dancery... ♪

THEY CHATTER

♪ Let's get it percolatin'
While you're waitin'... ♪

Oh, everyone, this
is Catherine. Hi.

♪ Come on, everybody get on up

♪ Cos you know We
gots to get it crunk

♪ Mary J is in the spot tonight

♪ And I'mma make it feel all
right Make it feel all right... ♪

Hi, ICU, can I
speak to Dr Magda...

PAGER BEEPS

Actually, it...
it doesn't matter.

PAGER BEEPS

Get them in the nursery.

Mine went to the nursery for Heald
Green Primary, and it got them in.

Wasn't their Ofsted "good"?

Yeah, but it got upgraded
to "outstanding".

At my school, you can't
jump the queue like that.

Go to open days now.
She's ten months.

Yeah, it's not too late.

He poos all the time.

It's not normal, and she
won't take him to the GP.

Why does he poo?

Well, it's because
of the antibiotics.

It upsets your stomach.

Oh, Maryam? Is Sami
starting Quran school?

Well, me and Raz thought
we'd wait until he's four.

No, no, no. They absorb
languages best at three.

Are you speaking Urdu at home
with him? Er, not so much.

I heard it can delay their speech
to have too many languages at once.

It can't be that! It
must be something else.

Khala, I promise
you, it is that.

But it's a lot of
poo! How will he grow?

MUSIC: 'You Don't
Know Me' by Jax Jones

Will there be dancing soon?

♪ Like you know me,
na-na, yeah... ♪

Dr Afridi! I'm next!

So, wait, you go to
see this woman...

The Fanny Witch.

She's a myofascial
release therapist.

Not a gynaecologist?
This is not recognised

by the National Institute
of Clinical Excellence.

Yet!

She massages your scar tissue

from your tear, or your
episiotomy, or whatever.

Birth trauma.

Hurts like hell when she's
does it, but it fixes pain.

Especially during, you know...

Sex?

Reversed my incontinence.
I'll ping you her number.

So, when you say she
massages the scar tissue...

I mean she puts her
fingers... MOUTHS

She has a medical degree
- you can say vag*na.

MOUTHS

Just say vag*na! THEY LAUGH

Cheers to vaginas.

♪ Every little thing
That you say or do

♪ I'm hung up I'm hung up on you

♪ Waiting for your
call, baby Night and day

♪ I'm fed up I'm tired
of waiting on you. ♪

Hiya. Just checking on you
after your coronary angiogram.

PATIENT: Thanks, Doctor.

sh*t, what's, er...

er... er... OK, er, bleep Helen.

No, bleep Surgery.
What's going on?

Bleep Helen and Surgery.

Am I gonna be OK?

Don't panic.

LINE DIALS Pick up
the phone, Tessa.

Stop running round like
a headless chicken.

Helen.

The matron and her wife
are getting impatient.

Right. I need to get
to Tessa in AMU first.

Thank God, we tried
everything. He's bleeding out.

What have you tried?
You know, this.

Someone called Surgery?

For f*ck's sake, Tessa, it's
a haematoma. You just, erm...

Just what? There is the place
that you put your finger,

but I can't remember because
Surgery normally does it.

Shall I show you? As I'm here,

not scrubbing up for a
kidney stone removal.

Sorry. Sorry.

Give me your finger.

PATIENT GROANS

Oh, my God. You're amazing.

I thought you weren't useful
without a knife in your hand.

I have my moments.

I can't wait for my
surgery rotation.

OK, Tessa, shall
we let Mr Oliviera

get back to his kidney stones?

I'm always a bit in awe
of the med reg overnight.

I can't imagine you awestruck.

Just cos I'm brilliant at what I do
doesn't mean I can't be impressed

by someone being brilliant at
what they do. Thanks for that.

Sorry for distracting you
from your actual emergencies.

I like being distracted by
you. Oh, for God's sake.

What?

Can't you have a conversation
with another human being

without it being some
sort of seduction routine,

or whatever it is you're
doing? PAGER BLEEPS

You need to be somewhere?
Just a repeat page.

Can I ask you
something, reg to reg?

Well, it's ST8, actually,
but, yeah. Yeah, go on.

If you needed to leave,
for, like, erm...

a family emergency, or something,
do you feel like you could?

I'd speak to the on-call consultant
and have them come in and take over.

That's what they're on call for.

Everything OK? PAGER BLEEPS

Oh, it's the labour
ward. f*ck's sake.

You got it.

It'll just be abdominal
pains. SHE LAUGHS

You're doing a great job.

Is this you trying to
sleep with me again?

I'll always be trying to
sleep with you, Helen.

I can't believe you
didn't all guess

from this massive balloon
thing I'm wearing!

Aw, congratulations.

It's such a joy to
share this with you

and not feel guilty, or...

Oh, Sairish! I was always
happy for you, for all of you.

You don't need to pretend that.

Well, when I had my miscarriage,

I couldn't even look
at a pregnant woman.

So, you going for a third?

It's not in Allah's plan for
everyone to have a big family.

My daughter... Amma.

My daughter is
going to be... Amma.

..one of the top paediatric
consultants in this country.

OK, dance floor.

♪ All the single ladies
All the single ladies

♪ All the single ladies... ♪
I'm too fat!

THEY GROAN Up!

♪ All the single ladies
Now put your hands up

♪ Up in the club, we just broke
up I'm doing my own little thing

♪ Decided to dip And
now you wanna trip

DISTANT: ♪ Cos another
brother noticed me

♪ I'm up on him, he up on me
Don't pay him any attention

DISTANT: ♪ Just cried my
tears For three good years

DISTANT: ♪ Ya can't be mad at me

♪ Cos if you liked it then You
should have put a ring on it

♪ If you liked it then You
should have put a ring on it

♪ Don't be mad once you
see That he want it... ♪

Hi, Charlotte. Erm,
yeah, is Guy...

Oh, right.

How was the Chablis?

The wine. Guy said
that you opened...

No?

Oh, my mistake. I-I
must have misunderstood.

Yeah, it-it's a busy night
here, so, yeah, don't worry.

Just...

help yourself to anything.

And just forget I said anything.

Actually, don't... don't
worry, tell him it's fine.

OK. OK, bye.

SHE HUMS Are you done dancing?

I swear my gravestone's
going to read,

"died answering questions
about constipation."

How's Elis doing?

I've not heard from
them, so fine, I guess.

You're managing it really well.

Managing what? She's
with her father.

You can admit that you miss her.

You haven't told your mother about
the investigation either, have you?

How long are you gonna keep
carrying this all on your own, Maz?

How long do you think
you can keep pretending

you don't have any
feelings, Catherine?

Maternal instincts, even?

f*ck off, "maternal instincts".

Both of our mothers are
stone-cold psychopaths,

punishing us for their
own sh*t choices.

My mother's not a... Then
why aren't you telling her?

Huh?

Cos I feel ashamed.

I feel like my chest
has been cracked open.

That "feelings" enough
for you? BOYS SHOUT

Maz? No, just a sec.

Catherine!

Catherine!

He's not breathing.

Jesus.

I can't feel a pulse.

His phone.

DIALLING, LINE RINGS

MAN: 'Emergency services.
What is the emergency?'

Teenage boy, heavy bleeding after
trauma, stab wounds to left chest.

We're on Thornville
Mews. He's arrested.

We're medics, administering CPR.

'OK, we're dispatching an
ambulance. Stay on the line.'

You know him? Do you know him?

Go, get his mum now! Run!

f*ck.

'Ambulance
travelling.' How long?

'Should be with you in
three to four minutes.'

Oh, sorry.

LINE RINGS

'This is Dr Guy Cavendish.
Please leave a message.'

f*ck's sake.

LINE RINGS, PAGER BLEEPS

'This is Dr Guy Cavendish.
Please leave a message.'

He needs thoracostomies. What
have you got in your kit?

Are you doing that here? Yep.

Stop compressions.

OK, got it. Back on chest.

Weak pulse.

Your son has been stabbed.
He's in a stable condition.

What's his name? Josh.

Maryam?

I'm going with him.
Tell Raz what happened.

MAN DRUNKENLY BABBLES

The police want to know
if they can arrest him.

Well, what's that
got to do with us?

They need to know
if he has capacity.

What are we, the CPS? Oi!

Oi! What was the score earlier?

Three-two!

ALL: Three-two!

Ah, well, he can count.

That's cogent enough for
the drunk tank, isn't it?

Wanna take him. PAGER BLEEPS

That's a trauma pre-alert.

Multiple stab wounds to the
chest, arrested at the scene,

good air entry since bag masking,
thoracostomy at the scene.

Ready, steady, slide!
His name's Josh.

OK, primary survey,
airways patent.

HEART MONITOR BEEPS

He's arrested! Are
surgery here yet?

Another pneumothorax?
Lungs are good.

He needs a clamshell thoracotomy.
You want to do a clamshell?

I'm not...

It's a witnessed arrest.
Could be a cardiac tamponade.

OK, so?

Now?

OK.

Don't f*ck up.

Ah, f*ck.

Ah, sternum's tough.

OK.

I can see the heart.

Open the pericardium vertically.

Don't damage the phrenic nerves.

Cardiac tamponade. OK.

And there's a hole in
the left ventricle.

HEART MONITOR BEEPS STEADILY

SHE SIGHS Got it.

Let's get him up to theatre?

Erm...

..yeah.

CATHERINE GRUNTS OK.

Yeah?

We've got you. OK. Ready?

You having fun up there?

Oh, yeah. Beat you to a
clamshell. Sorry 'bout that.

f*ck!

Do we know about next of kin?

Er, he came in with his mum.
I'll go and talk to her. OK.

SHE EXHALES

WATER TRICKLES

SHE EXHALES DEEPLY

SHE BREATHES HEAVILY

SHE HYPERVENTILATES

HEARTBEAT THUMPS

SHE CONTINUES TO
HYPERVENTILATE

DIAL TONE

TO HERSELF: Hello, Mrs Whitlock?

This is Dr Joseph
from City General.

Hello, Mrs Whitlock?

This is Dr Joseph
from City General.

DIAL TONE BEEPS

NORMALLY: Hello, Mrs Whitlock?

This is Dr Joseph
from City General.

I was part of the team that
was treating your mother.

I mean...

I'm calling to tell you... to
say... that I'm very sorry,

but your mother passed
away a few moments ago.

MUSIC: 'Running (feat.
Ghetts)' by Pip Millett

She passed peacefully...
in her sleep.

SHE INHALES Yes.

Yes, a nurse was with her.

SHE SOBS SOFTLY

I'm so sorry for your loss.

♪ Runnin', I'm
always out of breath

♪ Fightin' battles When I
get sh*t off my chest... ♪

JACK: Now that Catherine's
stolen all the glory,

let's get on with the
actual graft, shall we?

♪ I know what it feels
like To be down... ♪



♪ Do you find it pleasing? ♪

OK, we'll need at least
two litres of warm wash,

suction and two
chest drains, please.

♪ Grippin' on my skin, no, no... ♪
Thank you.

SURGEON: Thank you.

♪ Playin' with your
prey No, no... ♪

Happy to start patient transfer?

♪ No, no... ♪

And let's have some
music, shall we?

SHE CHUCKLES

MARYAM: 'He's in
really good hands.'

We'll know more once
he's out of surgery,

but we're hopeful that he's
going to make a full recovery.

♪ Will you try to
understand this? ♪

PAGER BEEPS, HELEN SIGHS

Oh, f*ck me.

♪ She'll tell me that I'm fakin'

♪ She's lyin', let's face it... ♪
PAGER BEEPS

ALARM SOUNDS

SHE SIGHS

PAGER BEEPS Oh,
what now? Hold that.

SHE SIGHS Surely it's your turn

for the next aortic
dissection (?)

No? Shall I go and do it, then?

No?

♪ The way that sh*t
It weighs me down

♪ Black and free I don't
think that's a thing

♪ No, no... ♪

PHONE RINGS

TESSA CLEARS THROAT

Acute Medical Unit.

Yeah. All good, yeah.

Everything's under control.

OK.

SHE LAUGHS WEAKLY

♪ I don't think that's
a thing No, no... ♪

AMANDA: Don't you dare.

Well, you know how it'll go.

She'll be on a ward somewhere,

and someone will do
her obs at 3:00am,

and sometime between then
and the morning drug round,

she'll have died.

SHE CHUCKLES WEAKLY

That never used to bother me
when I was working upstairs.

It's peaceful, after all.

No pain, no drama.

SHE EXHALES

But something changed in me,
during that first wave...

in April and May,

when there was so
little we could do.

We were turning people
over, for God's sakes.

So many phone calls,

so many people who thought
they had so much time left.

So much grief absorbed down
a phone line, over an iPad.

SHE INHALES Oh...

One call I made, the
woman said to me...

.."But we were in the
garden yesterday."

And we were in the garden

when we got the phone
call about the cancer.

We lived apart, mostly,
like you and Guy did.

She was vulnerable.

You were pregnant.
THEY CHUCKLE

She barely left the house.

Didn't get to hold her grandchild
until it was six months old.

And what was it all for,

if she still gets to die
alone on a ward here?

She's dying in our bed...

in my arms.

Have I got post-traumatic
stress disorder, do you think?

THEY LAUGH

How's Guy doing?

He's, erm...

I hear stories
like yours, and...

..other friends and
colleagues who-who were there.

B-But he just... he doesn't...

say anything.

He just never talks about it.

Well, he's still
processing, probably.

He's... He's drinking.

He's drinking too much, and...

..he's not in control of it.

And I don't know how to
reach him. Aw. Keep trying.

HELEN SOBS Don't worry.

Sorry. Aw.

Hey. It's been a long night.

I've literally just put
a fire out in a bin.

LAUGHING: Oh, God.

Yeah. Birds on the
ward... Oh, right.

..were always my
favourite. Oh, great.

What do I do with
a bird?! THEY LAUGH

First, you hope it's
a pigeon... Oh, right.

..because they're big and
stupid... HELEN LAUGHS

..and then you put a box
over it to calm it down,

and then set it free.

Thank you. THEY LAUGH

You're welcome.

So, do I have to try and
sneak her out of here, or...?

Consider yourself discharged.

HELEN SNIFFS

Guy said he would
deal with Oncology.

Go home.

Thank you.

Give him my love,
will you? I will.

Come here.

DISTANT SIRENS

VOICE IN LIFT: 'Floor two.'

Whoa! Oh, sorry.

You OK? Yeah, I just, erm...

Yeah, I'm just trying
to run and, er,

book an Uber at-at
the same time.

Can I, er... give
you a lift somewhere?

'Going down.'

How fast could you
get me to St Harry's?

Why didn't you tell me?
I'm telling you now.

You think they'll rule
you were negligent? Mm-mm.

Or they'll charge you? I
dunno. Lose your licence?

I really don't actually
give a sh*t about my licence

at this point, Ummi.
I-I didn't tell you

because I didn't want to
see that look on your face.

We're gonna fight this. You
are an outstanding physician.

No, I'm not.

I-I'm not the doctor
that you think I am.

I'm fallible. I make mistakes.

You think this is your fault?

In here. You didn't
do anything wrong.

How do you know that?
Because I know you.

You have to hang in there,
Maryam. Stay strong!

I'm terrified.

I'm having panic
attacks in the toilets.

I'm not the mother I
thought I would be.

I'm not the doctor I was.

You're a mother.
You're a doctor.

Have you ever considered one might
make you better at the other?

MUSIC: 'Changing Shapes
of Love' by Andreya Triana

♪ I realise half the time

♪ I've been afraid to feel this

♪ Times gone by, I compromised
What I thought I needed

♪ Pages torn when you're around

♪ Will you hear The
walls break down?

♪ Just stay a while with me

♪ Cos I'm not gonna stop
When the sun goes down

♪ I'm not gonna wait Until
the stars hit the ground

♪ I wake 'em with visions

♪ Of the changing
shapes of love. ♪

Do you want me to ask?

No.

OK.

Blur or Oasis?

Pulp.

CAR STEREO: 'Disco


♪ Oh, we were born Within
an hour of each other

♪ Our mothers said We
could be sister and brother

♪ Your name is Deborah, Deborah

♪ It never suited ya...

♪ Let's all meet up
In the year 2000... ♪

Thanks.

♪ Won't it be strange When
we're all fully grown?

♪ Be there two o'clock By
the fountain down the road

♪ I never knew That
you'd get married... ♪

Oh, Magda, hi. Oh, hi.

Erm, that patient that
you called about earlier,

her name's, er, Debbie Wares.

Good work, detective.

You came all the way
over here for that?

We'll get in touch
with the next of kin,

let them know she died.

Er, y-you just have.

The paramedics think she'd
been left for several hours.

We intubated her
on arrival, but...

damage to her major
organs was too severe.

We fought for her, Helen.

Is there anyone I
can call for you?

HELEN SNIFFS Mm.
No. No, thank you.

SHE INHALES SHAKILY

SHE SNIFFS, EXHALES DEEPLY

Hi. How are you all doing? 'Ah,
we're fine. Flight was great.

'The girls just adore
their new baby sister.

'They've been so
sweet with her.' Aw.

'Made this... Made
this card for her.'

Oh, wow. That's great everyone's
getting along so well.

You left Cuddle Cat.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah. We
realised on the plane.

'I mean, Elis doesn't
seem bothered.

'Perhaps it's not such
a big deal for her.

'Maybe she's over the
cat.' Oh, that's good.

'Brigitta bought
her a new soft toy.'

Oh, she has? Well...
Well, that's...

That's great. I'm relieved
she's doing OK without it.

Well, just... keep each
other company until...

'Did you have a good
night? I mean, your party?'

Yeah, yeah. Well... SHE SIGHS

I was up most of the night.

We attended a trauma. I
did a clamshell thora...

'Sorry.' HE SPEAKS SWEDISH

'I really need to
go.' Oh... Oh, OK.

Yeah. No, sure. OK.
OK, Lars. 'Yeah, yeah.

'OK. OK, bye. Bye.'
Yeah. OK, bye.

Hi, Callum. Erm, it's
Auntie Helen. Erm...

You... You need to give me
a call when you get this.

OK, erm, thanks.

"Auntie Helen"?
Yeah, it's my nephew.

Well, if he's under 30,
he won't listen to that.

What do you mean?

They don't listen to voicemails,
you need to send a voice note. Here.

I know how to send a
voice note. I'm not 90.

SHE SIGHS, SNIFFS

Hi, Callum. It's Auntie Helen.
Can you call me when you get this?

It's about your mum.

That's better.

And I think when he listens to it,
there's two little ticks there.

SHE LAUGHS Oh, my God. Really?

They'll be sending men
to the moon next (!)

SHE LAUGHS, SNIFFS

I might have been hours.
I would've waited hours.

Can I drive you home?

How far is it to your place?

MUSIC: 'Free' by
Florence + the Machine

♪ Sometimes I wonder if
I should be medicated

♪ If I would feel better
Just slightly sedated

♪ A feeling comes so fast
And I cannot control it

♪ I'm on fire But I'm
trying not to show it

♪ As it picks me
up, puts me down

♪ It picks me up, puts me down

♪ But there's nothing
else That I know how to do

♪ But to open up my arms
And give it all to you

♪ Cos I hear the music

♪ I feel the beat

♪ And for a moment,
when I'm dancing

♪ I am free

♪ I am free

♪ I am free

♪ I am free. ♪

Yeah, that's fine, Laura,

but I need you to find me
some time after clinic.

I need to prioritise these meetings
with interview panel members.

Thank you.

Do you ever look at
your life and think,

"How the hell did
I get it so wrong?"

No, not really.

Is that cos you're exactly
where you wanted to be?

Not exactly, no.

But close enough.

Catherine's gonna fight you
tooth and nail for that job,

you know. Yeah.

That's one of the things I
enjoy doing most with Catherine.

SHE LAUGHS

MUSIC: 'Hope' by Arlo Parks

♪ Millie tried to talk the
pleasure Back into being... ♪

Sorry. This is... SHE LAUGHS

This is probably just a
normal Monday morning for you.

Well, no, this usually happens
on Thursdays (!) Thursday.

You've totally blown my
schedule for the week.

♪ Won't call her friends

♪ Cos she's ashamed Of
being locked into bed

♪ Can't feel her legs

♪ And feeling like
a liar at best

♪ You're not alone
Like you think you are

♪ We all have scars
I know it's hard

♪ You're not alone,
you're not alone

♪ You're not alone
Like you think you are

♪ We all have scars
I know it's hard

♪ You're not alone
You're not alone. ♪