01x05 - Fear of God

[bunniefuu]

- [siren blares]
- [police radio chatter]

- [officer] Hands on the wheel!
- [siren wailing]

Hands on the wheel!

Out of the car. Hands where I can see 'em.

Get out of the car!

Stay cool.

[officer] Get out of the f*cking car.
Let's go!

Get on the ground, you m*therf*cker.

[Bart grunting]

[officer 2] Come on, kid. Come with me.

[officer 1]
Where is it? Where's it at, huh?

sh*t. What did I say? Do not resist.

[Bart grunting]

[officer 1] Don't test me.

[chuckles] You're f*cked, buddy.

Come on. Let's go, m*therf*cker. Move it!

Check that f*cking car.
I know this as*h*le's holding.

- [officer 3] Back seat's clear.
- [officer 1] Ah, that's bullshit.

It's in there. Tear it apart.
There's something in there.

This is what these m*therf*ckers do.

They step on you.

They put their foot on your neck.

Good and bad.

Right and wrong.

Those are made up by people
who've never had a g*n put to their head.

Being a man means you take the hit

and you keep that mouth shut.

Let it go.

[inhales deeply]

[grunting]

I'm proud of you.

We better go wash up.

[breathes deeply]

["Point And k*ll" playing]

[music ends]

[Manny] Up until now,
everything in my life has been a lie.

When I was a kid, my family used to think
that I had religious experiences.

And that's because, a few times,
I collapsed in church. Like...

But you know, there's a trick for that.

You, like-like... You are an altar boy.

You're s... You're s-singing or whatever.

If you... If you lock your knees,
like, real hard,

you cut off blood flow to your brain.

Only recently, I started to feel
really guilty about that,

which is crazy because... [stammers]

all this sh*t that I did
in my life. [sighs]

You know, but, like, a month ago...

[sighs] Oh, man.

[coughs, sniffs]

I looked down...

[sighs]

I looked down and I saw that I had...

I had crossed a line.

I put real evil in the world.

[coughing]

Hey, are you trying to get us busted, huh?

They're not gonna say a thing, Ray.

- They're friends of Bill.
- Oh, yeah?

And when in your entire life have you ever
trusted a m*therf*cker named Bill?

Dude, what, you forget we in hiding?

Look, you know this meeting
is burned now too, right?

God, do you know how many cops
come to this sh*t?

Ray, I've been reading all the literature
and sh*t, and I think I'm...

I think I'm ready to start making amends.

"Amends."
You know that that's later, right?

Like that's-that's-that's way later.

We could be dead later.

[sighs] Man, you just told them
how you conned your entire parish

and all of a sudden, you're ready to
shake hands with God?

- What's wrong with you?
- Okay. Okay. Check this out.

The rules say I have to apologize
to everybody that I hurt, right?

So I want you to think about
all those innocent people.

Think about all of them, like Malik,

the Amish kids at the Loebsack house,
all those...

Ray?

Ray?

All those dead clowns.

- Sh-Shut the f*ck up.
- Right? Like mothers, kids...

- Does Malik have a family?
- Jesus, man, I hope not.

Look, we can't do the steps
until we're safe.

We gotta understand
who's looking for us now, aight?

Yeah, 'cause it's not just dealers
and it's not just bikers either.

You see this? You recognize this dude?

Rick k*lled a f*cking cop.

[Manny] f*ck.

Yeah, we were so busy running
that we wasn't watching the news.

Yeah, I found eight articles like that.
Eight of them, man.

And you know what's really f*cked up

is that none of them talk about
the dead lady.

[Manny sighs] I never trust the news.

Now, look, this dead DEA m*therf*cker,
he-he must have been into some sh*t too,

because why the f*ck was he in that house?
You know what I'm saying?

- Like, right, he was out there. So, like...
- Okay, Ray. So, okay, just...

- This can't be like some kind of...
- What?

What is the plan, man?

I'm trying to figure the f*cking plan out.

I'm saying this sh*t kept me up
all night, man.

And when you come to a meeting like this,

- you have to commit...
- I don't need you telling me

- how meetings work.
- To what you're doing.

I don't need you telling me none
of that sh*t. You brand new. All right?

Look, Manny, I'm serious.
It's not just paranoia.

Oh, of course it's not.

- No, man.
- Like what?

Like late last night, I had a thought.

Just-Just walk with me, okay?

What if this $2 bill was like
some kind of...

some kind of claim ticket, man.

[Manny] Huh?

[Ray] Like what you get
when you check your coat someplace.

Like a coat check ticket.

I never know what you're talking about.

You ain't never take Sherry to no place
where you had to check your coats

- or nothing like that?
- No, Ray.

And this is not the kind of thought
of a man who's trying to get clean.

- That's what I'm trying to say.
- I'm just saying

that there's more sh*t
out there somewhere, man.

Like drugs, money... [stammers]
I don't f*cking know...

- All right. No, just look at me.
- But something.

- I have to do the steps.
- [sighs]

I have to start making amends.

[school bell rings]

[Mina] We can't work this house
with a kid in there.

[Jack] So move the f*cking kid.
That's your job.

[doorbell rings]

- [sighs]
- [footsteps approaching]

[kettle whistling]

[Jack's spouse clears throat]

They said your injuries
were life-changing.

I didn't know that meant your voice.

[Mina] It's getting better.

Even when I could talk...

I was sh*t with apologies.

That's why you came all the way out here?
To apologize for something?

No.

You know,
I don't know anything about you, really.

Only what he said.

Jack said you were
the toughest person he ever met.

Maybe that's why you don't feel as much.

No, I miss him too.

He said you had
a lot of loss in your life.

"She can survive anything."

[scoffs] That's a funny way
to admit you're in love, isn't it?

I gave him something a while back.
Just a picture.

I... [coughs]

I want it back.

So you didn't just come
to confess to an affair.

You knew that sh*t already.

[sighs]

[scoffs]

Nice to finally meet
your f*cking informants.

[typing]

[breathes shakily]

[chuckles]

[breathes shakily]

[breathes deeply]

[exhales deeply]

[scoffs]

[sighs] What the f*ck, Jack?

[Ray] Hey, what are you...
Ma, you can't leave this motel.

- [Theresa] The jig is up, Raymond.
- [Ray] One more hour, Ma.

I've been here three weeks.

If they're still looking for me,
they can have me.

Okay, wait. Look, I just need to make sure
that the house is clear, okay?

I'll wait with my head in the oven.

Hey, look... just look at this.

- Oh, don't show me...
- Okay? For me. Can you just...

- any more spy crap, Raymond.
- Just look. Something...

This is from last night. Watch!

Look, somebody went to the back door
and they left something on your porch.

What is that garbage?

Right? Let's say you get up
in the middle of the night,

open the back door for Shermie
and then boom!

- [screams]
- A Drano b*mb.

- What in God's name is a Drano b*mb?
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, look, just let me do my job, huh?

Just let me do my job. And if it's clean,

you can go back to losing at your
scratch tickets for the rest of your life.

Huh?

The lawyer called about your father.

She said she didn't want to
say over voicemail,

but there's been a development
in his case.

She's in court, calling back at 1:00.

[sighs]

I think it's finally good news.

[chuckles] Trust me, it's-it's not.

Come on.

- What? Don't do that. Don't...
- [sighs]

- Don't do what?
- I'm just saying it...

[Theresa] No, it's all misery.
Misery, misery, misery.

Hellhole.

[grunting]

[sighs] f*cking neighbors
and their fruit cakes.

sh*t.

[sniffs]

[phone buzzing]

Yeah?

[Son] Ray.

How're you holding up?

You still there?

Yeah. I'm just surprised
to hear your voice.

Thanks for the clown party.

[Son] Well, you know I wouldn't call
unless it was real.

I appreciate that.

Hits all over the city.
You keeping track of the score?

Nope.

We got our invaders from up north.

Now we got interested people
from down south.

Yeah, what are these m*therf*ckers now,
huh? Mimes?

Well, they talk less than mimes.

The cartel, they got in bed
with the wrong people.

They're missing money,
they're missing drugs,

and now they're pretty angry.

Yeah, well,

I guess sometimes you lose faith
in your friends, right?

Was I supposed to die in that quarry? Hmm?

Listen to me, Ray.

You're surviving every day in a minefield,

and pretty soon
you may have the only map out of it.

[Ray scoffs] There ain't no map, bro.

There's always a map, Raymond.

Hey, what you...

What you trying to say?

Your days are numbered, homey.

[softly] "Homey"? The f*ck?

Everybody's days are numbered, bro.

The whole city caught
the same f*cking sickness, you know?

Hit me yesterday, driving home.

Not quite rush hour. Maybe 4:15.

I'm stopped, and I see this girl.

She looks maybe 14.

That's too young, right?

Let's hope she was 20. A baby-faced 20.

So this kid is sh**ting up on the corner.

I'm not seeing the reality,
and I'm not even idling one minute,

and mind you, Ray, this isn't even
the alphabet streets.

This is 12th Street. Or 11th.

So this f*ck behind me honks.

Hmm? Think about that.

A child is dying of a f*cking disease

and some m*therf*cker,
late for his Zoom meeting,

honks at my a*s.

So where's our bottom, Ray?

Hmm?

We're still falling, man.

Well, we got to find the bottom
to climb back.

So, um, about what you saw,
you know, the drugs, the money?

Is there someplace we can talk?

I got a plan.

Hey, uh, my-my battery is about to die
in one minute, all right?

I'll call you from the bottom.

[sighs]

[rock music playing]

I'm waiting for somebody.

[patron] Yeah, it's me.

Um, he couldn't make it.

So, you got the, um, code number?

[clicks tongue]

sh*t.



Sounds right. Not that good with numbers.

Um, ma'am,
the guy you've been texting is my boss,

so he just couldn't make it here

because he prefers not to meet
in public, all right?

[Mina] Who's your boss?
What is this f*cking Alliance?

What's with your voice?

What did your boss tell you to do with me?

Hey, hey. Relax, okay?

Just to have
a polite conversation with you.

We get to know each other.
Come to an understanding.

That's all, you know?

[Mina] A conversation about what?

About the, um,

house that those bullshit artists
burned down. That's all.

Well, your boss is a DEA informant,
so he provides the information.

[stammers] That's not exactly
how we work together, your partner and us.

We asked questions, he answered,
and then we covered a lot of his debts.

You have no idea
what I'm talking about, do you?

[stammers, sighs] I know your club.

I know you've contracted with the cartel.

Oh, you know my club?

I happen to know you a lot better.

Jack was a talker.

Did you have any idea
what was happening that night?

You were coming for your share.

Yeah. Except somebody burned the deal.

[sighs] What did Jack know about the deal?

[laughs]

Jack brokered the deal.
Jack worked for us.

Bullshit.

Okay.

I heard you were
a relatively intelligent person.

Why don't you search your heart
for a minute? Think back.

You know about the stash houses

that he would put into a...
What the hell did he call it?

"Deconfliction," so that no other cop
would be able to find out

what was going on?

[sighs]

Sweetheart, Jack wasn't
showing you the ropes, okay?

He was playing you. He was using you.

He used to talk a lot about you actually.

Said you were smart,
and forgive me for saying this,

but he actually said you were
quite the impatient woman.

That you always finished before he did.

So... we take a different tact here.

Enemy of my enemy.

The reason you're in this mess is
'cause of Ray Driscoll.

Ah. You know the name.

So if you know where he is
or you can find him,

we could solve a lot of problems
for you too.

[sighs]

I can get to you. I can destroy you.

I can make you wish
you never set foot in this city.

I'm so far ahead of you, sweetheart.
We all are.

[chair scrapes]

[alarm rings]

Uh, I don't think
this is a chance encounter.

Theresa said you got big news.

You overturned my old man's conviction?

Uh, no. No big news.

Just one step at a time.

I do have an office though.

Yeah, except that
every time I meet you now,

I'm gonna have to figure out
a exit route, right?

It's like most men I know.

[chuckles] She's funny.

She's funny.

Hey, what happened in that club? Hmm?

I don't like being lied to.

Me too.

You know,
I was just coming to talk to you.

That was all.

So who's the bigger liar? [sighs]

You the lawyer.

And you're the con man.

So I guess that make it a tie.

[Michelle scoffs]

You know, we were both trying
to solve something that night.

And we couldn't, because...

Look, I guess words won't
mean much, will they?

You won't believe me. I won't believe you.

[chuckles, clicks tongue]

So where do people go
when they can't talk?

[breathes deeply]

[person coughs]

[clears throat]

So when...

[softly]
So when does this Quaker sh*t start?

This is it.

[sighs]

How bad is it, Ray? What did you do?

It was just a scam.

Somebody got hurt.

[crying]

[Son] You okay?

Okay, okay, okay.
Take her inside. Take her inside.

[speaks Vietnamese]

[Grandma speaking Vietnamese]

- [crying continues]
- [Grandma speaking Vietnamese]

[breathing heavily]

[exhales deeply]

[line ringing]

[automated voice] Thank you for calling
the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

[speaks Spanish]

For English, please stay on the line.

♪ Don't wanna do this
Again and again and again ♪

♪ Can't do this no more ♪

♪ Trying to make me fall in love ♪

♪ Whisper sweet nothings in my ear
I know you're trouble, love ♪

♪ Obvious, this ga... ♪

[operator] Hi, my name is Winslow.
Who am I speaking to?

[stammers, sighs]

Winslow? You said Winslow? [laughs]

[Winslow] Yes, Winslow.

[chuckles] You must have had
a hell of a f*cking time with that name.

What's your name?

It's okay. I... I just needed to hear
a person's voice. [sniffles]

We teach people to reach out, so really,

this is a call to say thank you
for the service you provide. [coughs]

My name's Sarah.

Your voice sounds like
you've been shouting.

Have you had an argument with someone?

That's just my voice now.

Can I ask you a couple questions?

I know you have a protocol.

Do you have access to a firearm?

No.

And do you have access to
any kind of mental health care?

[scoffs]

Too much.

And do you wanna tell me
what got you to this place today?

[inhales deeply]

If anyone knew that I have...

That I'm not str... strong enough,

I'll... I'll lose whatever I have left.
[sobbing]

You are strong enough, Sarah.

[cries] No.

If I called anyone, they'd worry
or... [coughs] ...write me up.

[stammering] Nobody... Nobody...
Nobody... Nobody can know.

I needed... [gasps] ...a stranger to he...
hear... hear me that it... hurts

- and... [cries] ...I'm so alone and scared.
- I'm here with you.

I saw the other s-side,
and it w... was so...

[stammers] ...simple, s-so easy.

It was... easier than this. [coughs]

But you didn't go there, Sarah.
You called me.

I don't want you to have to
fill out any forms or anything.

I'm... I'm better. Thank you.
[stammers] Thank you.

I'm just happy somebody is
doing their f*cking job.

I can't let you go until I know
there's a plan for today, Sarah.

- [panting]
- For staying here with us.

[breathes shakily]

I'm in my car. [sniffles]

I'm gonna drive home, and I'm gonna stop
and get some hash browns.

I didn't have breakfast. [grunts]

Will you have breakfast, Sarah?

[sighs] I promise.

Good.

And my name is not Sarah, Winslow.

["Thanks for the Memory" playing]

Can I look at it?

[groans] It's...

It's-It's fine. I'm fine.

- Let me look at it.
- Hey, stop.

It's just... [stammers]
Hey, come on now. You know...

Look, you know a dude like me bound to
have lost some tread on his tires.

I mean, you wouldn't even
be messing with me

unless you wanted to see how close
you could get to the fire, right?

[clicks tongue]

I used to be a prosecutor.

Yeah.

[breathes deeply]
Put away the bad guys. That felt good.

[Ray sighs]

And then... when I moved to defense...

it was complicated.

Like, all these people who were
guilty one day, they're innocent the next.

[phone buzzes]

I told myself that everyone is a victim
of something or someone.

[Ray] Yeah, I hear you. [grunts]

Once, I got a case to expedite bail
for two drug mules.

A married couple driving heroin.

They just needed the money. [chuckles]

I made the case that
these people were the real victims,

and I got their bail down to nothing.

They were released. [scoffs]

The next day, eight heads rolled into
a courthouse in Mexico.

They were K*llers.

These people...

who I had empathized with
and had defended,

they k*lled eight people.

So, since then,
my empathy has been professional.

Like, I don't even see the real person,
only the case.

Until you... you know?

You came into my office,
paying for your stepmother,

and I just thought...

"This is someone trying to do
the right thing,

the loving thing."

I saw someone who was trying so hard
to be a good person

and had no idea what that meant.

[Ray] Man, you said this was an emergency.

Your soul is not an emergency, man.

[Manny] Brother, my soul, right now,
is the only emergency.

[Ray scoffs]

Dude, look at this place.

How are there no names? How are...

How do they know who anybody is?

They just do sh*t differently
out here, I think.

I mean look... [stammers, chuckles]

Let's go ask in that barn.

What the f*ck... What are you...
[stammers] Are you serious?

- Let's go.
- Hey, man,

I don't ever wanna go near another
m*therf*cking barn in my life, Manny.

Oh, hell no.

[speaking Pennsylvania Dutch]

[Manny] Hmm.

- No, I'm from Brazil. It's...
- [farmer speaking Pennsylvania Dutch]

Manny, let's-let's f*cking go.

I'm trying to ask him about t-the cemetery

- and the two boys.
- He ain't f*cking...

Sir, the two kids. Their names are...

Their names are Caleb
and, uh, Harrison Stolzfus.

They were, sadly, k*lled
at the Loebsack house.

We do not place flowers on graves,
right, like you folks.

That is the way of the Englischers.

Well, I-I didn't know that, sir.
I-I... I'll, um...

[Ray] Manny, hey, let's please
get the f*ck out of here.

That dude just called us English?

He said the sh*t in English too.

So all that sh*t before,
I don't know what...

Let's go, man.
Let's get the f*ck out of here.

- Yo, Manny, what you gotta do that for?
- That's-That's...

How come you couldn't just
say that we was friends

or that we bought some furniture
from the m*therf*cker?

I really think that they're selling
more than furniture here.

[Ray] Yeah. No sh*t, Manny.

[Manny] What are you concerned about, Ray?

- He's not a cop. Look at those pants.
- They could be going to get a cop.

[Manny] Like where? In the barn?

Yeah, man, they may have
their own f*cking police, Manny.

I don't f*cking know.

- Hey, look, man, we don't want...
- Are youse police officers then?

We are definitely not, man.
Look, we ain't no f*cking police. No, no.

Albrecht says you saw them that day.

And were they both alive yet?

[Ray] No, man. No.

Look, we lost a dude too
and-and my friend,

he's trying to make peace with that sh*t.
That's why we're out here.

So whoever k*lled your boy,
they are hunting us too.

Come inside the stable.

- Oh, no. We good, bro. We good out here.
- We're good.

We're just going.
Our car is, like, right over there.

You boys ride with
the biker club from up north?

Man, y'all really think all Englischers
look alike, don't you? [stammers]

Bikers? [stammers]

Look, your boys had business
with the bikers too.

Caleb and Harrison are with Gott now.

Let him decide.

Make no amends to them.

They sold at the dances to the pilgrims.

They sold meth?

Caleb tried to enlist me.

I begged him before Gott to stop.

Wait. So enlist you to what, man?

They met a man who said he was a courier.

An Englischer.

When this pandemic shut your world down,

he said he couldn't get the money
where it meant to go.

He went to your boy, Danny,
looking for places to hide it.

They divided it up and marked it,
so only he would know.

Caleb and Harrison tried to profit,
hiding some in our own barns.

And that's a curse we can't break now.

So that-that courier,
he-he-he ain't never come back?

He's most likely dead
or lost in some other way.

And you said that-that
he marked the money?

This is all Caleb gave me.

I'm telling you this
because Gott sent you.

And I am begging you as another gut man,

keep this cancer away from us.

[Ray] Man, we gonna be diamond members
by the time we get out of this motel.

[sighs]

They said this courier was English.

Yeah, but I think that just mean

anybody who don't ride around
in one of them buggies, you know.

[sighs]

You know, whatever the f*ck these are,
they must need them.

I think that's why
they haven't k*lled us yet.

Let's keep them separate. All right?

Put that with the rest of the stash.

Yeah, I'll use it for the coat thing.

[laughs] I cannot believe
that you have gone your whole life

and you have never checked a coat.

Seriously.

[sighs]

You okay?

How's it going with them amends?

[clicks tongue]

See? That's why they tell you that
you got to do the steps in order, bro.

First step is accepting
that you are powerless.

I am.

Yeah, I'm learning that.

[phone buzzes]

[Ray] Oh, man. I can't keep track of
this f*cking crew anymore.

- Hey, um, I gotta go, man.
- Yeah.

- Love you.
- I love you too, man. Get out of here.

You're doing great.

[phone buzzing]

[door opens]

Your phone keeps going to voicemail.

Then leave a message.

Your mailbox is full.

Full of you.

Somehow, uh, despite your love of collage,

you passed your fitness for duty test.

Congratulations.

When are you gonna bust Driscoll?

We need the people coming for him.

And this fixation is not healthy.

I feel like you, uh,
didn't share it all with the psychologist.

A good investigation is not about revenge.

Everybody is circling Driscoll.

Yeah, he is the eye of the storm,
but if we bust him too early...

So you want the storm.
Everything gets buried in the storm.

I never did anything to hurt you.

That wasn't me.

Nothing that Jack did
is admissible in court.

I inherited a mess that could
cut funding to the entire office,

and whatever garbage
Jack left in the woods,

I came in to clean it so that
we can live to fight another day.

So clear out your voicemail
and wait for instructions.

If Driscoll has information...

we'll get it.

Without bringing him in?

He has contacts we can get to.

Partner, family, his father in Chester.

[Mina] ASAC? [sighs]

If you want it all buried out there,

the storm is gonna have to be
a serious m*therf*cker.

[phone chimes]

[sighs, chuckles]

[sighs]

[chuckles]

[phone chimes]

- [phone thuds]
- [Ray] Oh, sh*t.

- [g*nsh*t]
- [grunts]

sh*t! sh*t!

[groans] f*ck!

- [sicario speaking Spanish]
- [groaning] sh*t!

- No, no, no! f*ck!
- Give me the f*cking numbers.

- [g*nsh*t]
- [Ray] sh*t!

[dog barking]

[panting]

[groaning]

[whines]

- [groaning, panting]
- [Shermie barking]

Damn.

[groaning]

sh*t!

[coughs, pants]

[tires screech]

[coughs, grunts]

[panting]

[groans]

f*ck, that's good. [sighs]

[sighs]

["Julieta" playing]