01x03 - Brown Family

[bunniefuu]

- [birds chirping]

- [dogs barking]

[footsteps approaching]

- [dogs continue barking]

- [faint indistinct chatter]

- Look who finally showed up.

- I'm five minutes early.

We don't operate on colored people time

in this house.

- You're ten minutes late.

- [woman] God damn it!

- If you don't let me in

- Mm-mm. I wouldn't do that if I was you.

She on one right now.

For what?

They assigned her the macaroni and cheese

at the family reunion.

[items clattering]

It's not going too well.

[woman] Come help me clean this sh*t!

It sounds like a disaster.

Miss Anita can't cook.

That's baking. Deja here.

Hi, Miss Anita.

[Anita] You're late!

- Told you you was late.

- Told you she don't like me.

Well, even if that is true,

which it might be,

I ain't goin' to this sh*t by myself.

So look alive.

'Sup, Mama?

[dogs continue barking]

Y'all talking about me?

Nah.

You look pretty.

You do something different to your hair?

What'd you tell this girl?

That you look pretty

and you did something to your hair.

Yeah, right.

You start loading up the car.

And, you, put that on.

I don't need one.

- You need Jesus.

- [Vince sucks teeth]

She right.

[Deja] Cause of you.

Every day I see you is a fine day ♪

Fine ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, family! I'm so glad

y'all could make it.

- How you doing, Anita?

- I'm fine.

Look at you. You've grown into

such a handsome young man!

We are just so proud of you.

I always knew that you were

chosen by God to deliver his word.

- I don't know about all that.

- I do.

Ever since you was a baby,

I told your mother that you were anointed.

- I surely did! Thank you, Jesus!

- [scoffs]

Come and give me a hug! [chuckles]

- Thank you, thank you.

- Ooh! And who is this lovely young lady?

Hi, I'm Deja.

Oh, you gonna be having

some grandbabies soon, girl. [chuckles]

sh*t. No, I ain't.

Wait Wait Wait a minute.

Why is everybody in yellow shirts?

We changed the color.

Paulette put it in the group text.

What damn group text?

Let me take that tray, baby. I

Do not give that woman my tray.

Okay, I will just let you guys settle in.

[chuckles]

- [Anita] Bye, Gladys.

- Okay, bye.

I'll be damned.

That's some bullshit. f*ck that Paulette.

- That b*tch had it out for me since '88.

- What happened in '88?

- She introduced me to her boyfriend.

- Uncle Ben?

No, your daddy.

But forget about them people.

You just make sure you keep Deja away

from Uncle James. You know she white.

I'm not white, Miss Anita.

Oh, girl, who you think you fooling?

Let's just get this sh*t over with.

And, Deja, watch my sh*t!

You drop it, I'm dropping you.

She doing a lot over a side dish.

See, that's where you wrong.

Macaroni and cheese ain't a side dish

at the family reunion. It's a delicacy.

You should treat it like such.

- Say it again, she might smoke you.

- [sighs]

I swear to God, you better give me

a b*mb-a*s Christmas gift.

- Christmas canceled.

- Cuzzo! It's been forever, n*gga! [grunts]

It's me!

- You. Yeah, okay.

- Yeah.

How you been, man?

I'm good man. sh*t. How you doing?

Not good.

My girl done went through my phone.

Now she all mad at me and sh*t.

- Good luck with that.

- Wait, no, I need you to do me a solid.

I need you to tell her

that I was with you last night.

What?

At the studio, wherever the f*ck you be.

Just tell her I was there with you, man.

She She love you, bro.

She'll believe it

coming from you, but from

I don't know you, n*gga.

[laughs]

Hey, n*gga, you still funny,

like when we was in high school!

Hey, I'mma see you

in the studio later, 7:30!

And I'mma, uh, bring some music and sh*t.

- [upbeat music playing]

- [indistinct chatter]

[Vince] What's going on?

You know y'all can't be wandering off

around all these trees.

Apparently, somebody else

brought mac and cheese too,

and pissed your mama off.

[Anita] Come on, Deja.

[Deja sighs]

Where you going?

[Anita] Get you some business.

[man 1] Hey, nephew!

[chuckles] Boy, get on over here!

Okay, so let me get this straight.

You don't know who brought it.

I don't know, Anita.

How you gone be on the set-up committee

and you don't see nothing get set up?

I've been running all around this park.

I can't keep up with who does what.

Why you lying, Sharon?

Oh, I know a liar when I see one.

[upbeat music continues faintly]

Fine, Anita!

I saw Janine set a pan down, okay?

Now leave me alone.

My blood pressure is too high

to be dealing with you.

I think I see Janine over there. Come on!

Oh, um, I was gonna go see

what Vince is up to.

Not now you not.

Because if I go to jail

behind any of these people,

I'm gonna need a witness and bail.

Vince said he ain't gonna get me out

no more after last time.

Come on, Deja.

[domino clacks]

Mm-hmm.

And I'm gonna stand by what I said.

n*gg*s getting lined up

ruin the Black families.

Hey, what's up with Uncle James?

[grill sizzling]

Oh, you know that n*gga's crazy.

Look, he don't bother us,

and we don't bother him.

n*gga ain't been the same

since he caught that case in '94.

- [man 2] That case didn't make him crazy.

- sh*t.

sh*t, his pops made him crazy.

After that case,

he just couldn't hide it no more.

sh*t, maybe he misunderstood

or something.

The only thing he misunderstood

was handling his finances.

Look, don't be like him, nephew.

Look, if sh*t ever hits the fan,

just make sure

you don't lose all your money.

[man 1] That's right.

You've been doing well for yourself.

- [man 2] Mm-hmm.

- You just need to start investing.

Yeah, entrepreneurship.

I'm talking big, like Tulsa.

Mmm! Mm-hmm.

Bring the Black Wall Street

right here to the beach.

That's right. Now, of course,

that's after you take care of you.

You got to come first.

- [man 2] Mm-hmm!

- [chuckles]

You need to put some blowers in the set.

sh*t. The hell are you talkin' about?

He know what I'm talkin' [sighs]

Tell me about Tulsa, Uncle Mike.

All I'm saying is,

you can start right here in your city,

in your community.

With me.

What?

Let me hold somethin', nephew.

sh*t, I ain't even got it

like that, Uncle Mike.

Well, when you get it,

I'mma come find you.

I got you.

Don't got me.

Get me.

- [cell phone vibrating]

- [chuckles]

You know that sound.

I know what that sound is.

- That's the sound of money. M-O-N-E-Y.

- [all chuckle]

[The Homie] Hey, three-way Tanisha.

[Vince] Hello to you too.

Why don't you call her?

- No money on her phone.

- You got a cell phone.

- I don't want her to have my number.

- I'm busy

Her number is five-six-two

[line ringing]

[Tanisha] Hello?

Hey, The Homie wanna talk to you.

I'm not f*ck' with him no more.

You don't mean that, man.

- Why do I always gotta

- Look, I'mma merge the call.

f*ck' ridiculous.

["Teach Me How to Dougie" playing]

[The Homie] Tanisha?

[Tanisha] What?

[The Homie] Why you ain't got no money

on the phone?

[Tanisha] Cause I don't wanna talk to you.

Asia said she went to see Nightmare

and she seen some b*tch named Fatima

on the sign-in sheet.

[The Homie] I don't know

nobody with eczema.

[Tanisha] I figured you'd say that.

So I asked Shannon play cousin Joyce

about that girl

who been telling all her little friends

she can't wait for her n*gga to get out.

Can you guess what her name is?

Guess, Vincent.

Uh, Brenda?

[Tanisha] Fatima. Her name is Fatima.

[The Homie] Is you gonna put money

on my books or not, cuz?

Hey, don't forget about me, nephew.

I won't.

[Uncle Mike] These n*gg*s is fightin'.

- [The Homie and Tanisha arguing]

- [line beeps]

[toilet flushes]

Who brought it?

[sink running]

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- So you just gonna lie to me in my face?

Why would I lie?

I don't even like mac and cheese.

I thought you said you didn't know

what I was talking about.

[water dripping]

It wasn't me. I'm lactose intolerant.

Oh, girl, please. As many times

as I used to see your little fat a*s

drink milkshakes for breakfast.

[chuckles] Now, that's a bold-faced lie.

You know Grandmother used to get us

milkshakes every Sunday after church.

Chocolate was your favorite, Janine.

Look, this entire family

may be afraid of you, but I'm not.

And for the last time,

I did not make that mac and cheese.

Well, Sharon told me the truth.

She said she saw you set it on the table.

I set everything on the table

'cause I'm on the food committee.

Now, I got the tray out of Trudy's car.

[dramatic music playing]

Trudy

Yes, Trudy.

I saw it with my own eyes.

Now, I'm done talking about this sh*t.

You go talk to Trudy.

I mean that.

As much as I did for her

when Gerald was laid off?

Oh, that b*tch got some explaining to do.

Come on, Deja.

[upbeat music playing]

Anybody seen Trudy around here?

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, maybe we should just let this go.

And give one of these n*gg*s

the satisfaction of stabbing me

in my m*therf*cking back?

Oh hell no. Absolutely not.

But is it really worth

all the energy you giving it?

Yes, it is. It's the principle.

Look, I know you young,

but sometimes in life,

you learn that certain actions

require responses

because of the principle.

- Isn't that just called being petty?

- Oh, Deja, get a f*cking backbone.

Okay, what's up, Miss Anita?

Why don't you like me?

- You really wanna know?

- Yeah!

- 'Cause you're too nice.

- You too mean.

- At least I ain't no punk.

- Because you a bully.

I'm sorry.

See, look at you.

You ain't got no backbone, like I said.

Only around you

because you so difficult

to get along with.

Even today,

you can't get along with your own family,

all over something so trivial.

It's just mac and cheese.

- [upbeat music continues faintly]

- [indistinct chatter continues]

[Uncle James] I know that face.

Thoughts racing.

Looks like you got a lot on your plate.

You want a leg?

I'm cool, Uncle James.

I had a weird-a*s day, man.

Let me guess. You're not just

same old Vince to the family anymore.

Suddenly, everybody wants something.

Pretty much.

I don't know how you dealt with this sh*t.

Well, at first, I felt like you.

I hadn't even gotten out of college,

and the whole family was there

with their hands out.

[Uncle James chuckles]

I had to tell 'em.

"I'm not a bank. I'm JJ."

But then I realized

that their intentions were good.

Your success means so much

to the people around you

that they can't help

to just try to be involved.

I mean, there's no harm in that.

We all just wanna feel

that we have a purpose.

- [Anita speaking indistinctly]

- And I say that to say,

there's a certain responsibility

when it comes to success.

It's not always about money.

[grill sizzling]

Hey, can I ask you something?

You ever, like, you know, just miss it?

All the success you had?

[sighs]

All the time.

But you know what?

I have no regrets.

No?

Hey, who's that little high yellow girl

running around with your mom?

Oh, Deja?

Whoo!

Yeah, man, I like her a lot.

Good God!

You better keep your eye

on that one, nephew. [chuckles]

- Do me a favor, why don't you?

- Yeah.

Go to my truck

and grab me another six-pack.

[keys jangle]

- I got you.

- Thank you.

[R&B music playing faintly]

[grill sizzling]

[Uncle James] Hey, nephew,

it's me, yours truly.

Our lord Jesus Christ fed 5,000

with one loaf of bread and two fish.

You've been blessed with even more.

Use those blessings to feed the family.

- [grill continues sizzling]

- [indistinct chatter]

[coughing]

[dog barking]

[sighs]

[sniffles]

Okay, now, they're lining up.

How we lookin' over here?

Uh

It's It's good.

All right.

Sweetheart, this chicken is burnt.

Bye, Gladys.

[Gladys] Okay.

It's looking It's looking good.

It's looking good.

Mmm.

[loud bang]

[R&B music playing faintly]

- Can I have some of that one, please?

- Okay.

Can I have another one?

I wish I could, baby, but we running out.

You should try this one. It's good.

No, thank you.

- Are you sure? I

- She said no, Paulette.

[R&B music continues faintly]

[Paulette] Hey, darling.

[indistinct chatter]

That was nice of you.

Didn't nobody do that for you.

Something looked a little off

about that other one.

I know. Didn't it, though?

I wouldn't let

a stray dog touch that sh*t.

[both chuckling]

What the f*ck you looking at, Paulette?

You just so nasty.

No, what's nasty is yo mac and cheese.

Oh hell yeah. I know you made it.

Because Paulette Junior is a vegan.

No, PJ is a hoe.

What you call her? Her name is Paulette!

b*tch, you heard what I said.

And you can put that

in your f*cking group text.

["Family Reunion" by The O'Jays playing]

It's so nice to see ♪

All the folks you love together ♪

Sittin' and talkin' 'bout ♪

All the things that's been goin' down ♪

[Paulette and Anita arguing indistinctly]

It's been a long, long time ♪

- Get that thing out my face, b*tch!

- [Paulette Junior] Uh-uh!

[Anita grunts]

[all gasp]

- [clamoring]

- [glass shatters]

I just don't understand.

Why are we Black?

- [clamoring continues]

- Family reunion ♪

[Anita] Deja! Get her, Deja!

[clamoring continues]

Fine day ♪

[recorder chimes]

[Uncle James] Hey, world,

it's yours truly.

I hope everyone out there

has had an amazing day.

I know I did.

I'm here at the world-famous Coliseum.

Go, Trojans! [chuckles]

A lot of great memories in this place.

[announcer speaking indistinctly]

That's one thing

they can't take away from us.

- [announcer] to the ten, to the five

- Our memories.

I'll see you next time.

[mellow music playing]

[vocalizing]

[music fades]