01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

[engine starts]

[theme song playing]

[samba playing]

Hey. So,

you see that nice building over there?

Right by where you stop usually?

I'm engaged now

so I bought the condo off. Plan!

You know that marriages

start off beautifully

but then you go off your plans.

Now my ex-wife wants to sell the house.

The heck?

Hey, God,

I just want a little peace is all.

Well, I'm a realtor,

so if you want to sell,

I could help out.

I ask for peace and you send me a realtor?

You're being very rude.

- [audience cheering]

- [theme song playing]

END OF THE LINE

[woman] Final stop coming up!

- [music stops]

- [indistinct chatter]

DON'T MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME

IVAN'S VAN

[indistinct chatter]

Alê, I was going to put up the flyers

that you made for the house.

- And really? What were you thinking?

- What do you mean?

- [Sandra] You said you were a designer.

- Sure.

A designer for my own gorgeous looks.

Sandra, hey, you didn't have any luck

with the for-sale sign

you put in your front yard?

Hey, Ivandro. Son, steal it all,

you need to grab every sign.

There's still more.

Sandra, I'm begging you to talk to me.

It's all I ask you. First things first.

I wanna say sorry.

But come on, you can't sell our house.

What about us?

Everything we built together?

Besides, I poured everything

into that renovation.

You remember all the good things.

- Are you serious?

- [Ivan] Uh-huh.

You thought that you could save money

by painting over the plaster

and calling it texture.

Okay.

I, uh My mistake. I failed at that too.

- And I'm admitting that.

- Good.

I know you'll regret losing such a leader.

A leader?

Since when are you my leader, Ivan?

My Visa. The leader of credit cards.

[Alê grunts]

We're going there?

- Wanna know what else is in your name?

- Fire away.

- Humiliate me.

- You owe me for that bag you ruined.

- [Ivan] Uh-huh.

- My AC unit that you raffled off!

And my fridge that you gave to Marta.

Hey! Don't forget about how he used

your food coupon that one day

to get a new tire from me.

- Why, Migué?

- What was that?

- You didn't know that?

- Uh, no, Migué!

Hey, girlfriend, this fridge

is the best thing that's happened to me.

I'm in love with it.

Thanks for the emotional trigger, Marta.

You know what, Ivan? Listen here.

I'm going to sell the house.

Come on, Sandra.

- This marriage's a house under renovation.

- No!

We have to come together so we can

rebuild some parts and find each other.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Oh, come on, Sandra. Just forget it.

I don't think you should

build your life using trash.

Back to the issue.

I've been posting on real estate sites

and no one's reached out.

You're gonna have to step up

your advertising.

You're right. Take these.

You can put them up.

Go on now.

You can't cover things up,

it's bad for numbers.

What numbers, huh?

You'd be covering the numbers

for the lotto draw.

I'm not concerned with gambling right now.

You let me down when I bet on you.

Ouch, that hurt. I was just k*lled here.

- In front of everyone.

- [audience cheers]

- Wow, that one hurt.

- [Robson] Honey bunny.

You never responded to a single one

of my many, many, many, many, many calls.

[chuckles]

Here's a lesson,

if she doesn't respond on WhatsApp,

then she's probably busy,

or she hates you.

My God.

- Ivan, would you buzz off already?

- [Robson] Come on.

Take the flyers, and get outta here.

Okay, go on now.

Robson, how was the big meeting

with Mr. Amaral?

It feels like You know how it feels

riding a roller coaster?

You just pray

you won't fall to your death?

Oh, my God.

I need to sell this house immediately.

Tell me about it.

I've gotta make sure

I get paid for my new Z Flip.

- I can't lose my job now.

- You got a new phone?

No, that's my new boyfriend.

Zé Felipe, he's young,

and I want to spoil him. [laughs]

He's nothing like a phone.

But he is my new acquisition.

Hi, my love! I missed you so much, baby.

How are you?

How many of these guys are you dating?

It's necessary

for me to rotate them every week.

I like variety. [laughs]

- [audience laughing]

- Oh, my love.

- [Ivandro] What's up, everyone?

- [audience cheering]

[Sandra] Come here.

- I need you to put these flyers up.

- Uh-huh.

- You can put them up all over, alright?

- [Ivandro] Okay.

Ivan! I told you to get on with the show!

- I'm getting, okay?

- Let's go. Come one, Alê. It's late.

- [Ivan] Stop with the complaining.

- [Alê] See you soon.

[Sandra] I need to deal with my problems,

then I'll be your driver. Follow me.

HOUSE FOR SALE

What is this? Why, Ivandro?

You're putting up the signs?

You want me on the street?

I can't believe it. What a disgrace.

You see the invention of modern luxuries

and suddenly all the kids

are heartless and cold.

[Ivandro] Get a grip, Dad. I helped you.

- Why did I have you?

I took down the sign in front of the yard.

Now if I don't get these flyers up

like mom wanted,

then I'm just screwed as you're gonna be.

You didn't do it for free though.

I had to give you that shaving kit,

those flip flops

for the real estate password.

You were paid for everything.

Yeah, you got me the stuff.

Ya know, I need a little more

incentive for my assistance.

Was the motorcycle not enough?

You're acting like a monster.

- Nah.

- You can't help your father

after everything I've done for you?

Ah, come on, really?

- You're an adult, Dad. Right?

- Oh.

You're supposed to be independent.

Solve stuff on your own.

- What if I bought new sneakers for you?

- Oh, you can always count on me.

You know, I'm impressed with the way

- you got that outta me.

- I learned from the best.

Alright, go on and get them.

Here's my card.

- Just one pair of shoes.

- Alright. Hell yeah!

- Go on.

- This is so amazing. [chuckles]

I'm seriously balling now, fam.

I'm balling now.

- Caught you red-handed!

- Oh, why?

How naughty of you.

I see you're looking for a new lady,

sounds good, you sure need one.

All the women in Brazil

should be prepared.

Why have a boring sugar daddy

when you can have

- a daddy with a van? [laughs]

- [audience laughing]

- What are you talking about?

- Are you matching with some hotties?

I'm on the house selling app

Sandra's using, getting rid of everyone.

You're deleted. Deleted

I won't let her do this.

Sandra will not sell the house. No way.

Well, the app I'm using

is on fire now too,

it's full of beautiful women.

What a gift.

They all want a piece

of this big boy real estate

but there's not enough to go around.

Oh, real estate?

It's a b*ttlefield, isn't it?

Oh, no, Mrs. Ivone.

My own family battled for years,

viciously over their land.

And now they stay together,

bundled all close.

Finally content and peaceful.

- They worked it out?

- All of them are dead.

So they got no reason to fight over it.

They're in the same grave.

Well, my family never had

a piece of land to fight over.

I only remember fighting over

one scratched collection of DVDs.

Alright. Come on. Let's go.

- Go.

- [Ivone] Yes, let's go.

[samba playing]

CELL PHONE REPAIR - ALL MODELS

[indistinct chatter]

[Ivan] Check this out. Felipe says,

"I like the interior of the house."

What a loser.

He wants on the waitlist.

Sorry, you're gonna wait forever.

- Deleted.

- [audience laughs]

Ivan, I've seen many businessmen

gifted with the Midas touch,

but after watching you,

I think you've got the Midas turd.

Oh, sure, just make fun of me

while I'm going through this tragedy.

You know, I really miss her.

We used to be kinky and passionate.

We'd do all sorts of things

to spice up our love.

And to think now your wife is busy

spicing it up in bed with Robson

and you're just kissing your pillow.

Oh, you're trying to make me feel

even worse now.

Nice one, really.

I won't let her sell the house.

I'm gonna give it to her straight

next time I see her face.

[Sandra]

What are you giving to me straight?

- Uh

- Go. Say it.

- First, uh, you go ahead.

- Listening is important.

- That's why we clean our ears regularly.

- Yeah.

Okay, well, I've got news

that will absolutely make your day, Ivan.

Once I'm done with my shift,

I'm gonna show the house to a new buyer.

Huh? It's good for us.

[Robson] You're not, Sandra.

No, no, no, no.

And do you know why, darling?

- Why?

- We gotta go to the scheduled work meeting

that is absolutely mandatory,

my sweetheart. [laughs]

- Uh. And we have to?

- Yeah, we do. And we'll be there a while.

- For God sake. Why today?

- That's too bad.

Ah, work is a priority.

It's a shame that you won't be able

- to show the house.

- Responsibilities should be adhered to.

[Ivan] Exactly.

- [Robson] We should get going.

- [Sandra] I'm coming.

- Go on.

- I just, uh

Thank God. I've been waiting

for Him to take the wheel again.

She forgot about the house.

[Sandra] Oh, Ivan! I almost forgot.

[audience laughs]

Since I have to work,

you have to be at the house, okay?

- Uh-huh.

- I'll send your info over to the buyer.

- So answer. Answer it.

- Uh-huh.

Well, I guess He was drunk at the wheel.

[indistinct chatter]

Right this way, Sérgio.

[chuckles] Welcome to our home. Here.

Thanks for coming.

You'll notice it's rustic and musical.

You step on the floor,

it makes a musical creak.

The tiles, walls,

and hinges make music too.

- Uh, is this a quiet neighborhood?

- It's quite religious, you know.

There are two communities.

One g*ng over here, one over there.

Their w*r is never-ending.

- Bang, bang.

- [audience laughs]

And the weather? Is it dry or humid?

My little girl has allergic rhinitis.

- [sneezes, coughs]

- [both] Bless you.

Don't worry about the outside,

but it's very humid inside of the house.

I always call it a sauna.

- I feel it even now.

- [audience laughs]

Ah, all right, uh

Are the neighbors alright with animals?

'Cause we have a few pets.

Come on, Dad, they're not just pets.

Alfonso's more like my son.

[Ivan laughs]

That's great. There's pets

that come along with the place.

I know we have at least

one family of termites in this wall, uh

- [audience laughs]

- It's the stairs actually.

It may look like cement, but it's wood.

It's just coated with cement,

so be careful. [chuckles]

It's kinda scary but it's not a problem.

I know how to control the termites.

You just have to buy them a chair to eat

every few months.

- Jesus. I got chills everywhere.

- Uh-huh.

Oh, must be her. [breaths deeply]

You see, Mrs. Zélia lives here as well.

She lives upstairs?

No, no. She already went to heaven.

She passed away and won't let go of it.

It's like she's here.

Right, Mrs. Zélia.

We won't have to worry

about getting too attached to things here.

Because there's already attachments.

You can feel the energy

- [glass breaks]

- [girl shouts]

Hey, Zélia, calm down!

- Let's get out of here.

- She didn't appreciate that.

- It was Zélia.

- [audience laughs]

She's never been fond of jokes,

so watch out, uh,

don't worry though,

she's usually very friendly.

We'll we need to take another look

at our finances

- before we decide.

- Calm down, Zélia.

- Wait, I forgot about the sunroof.

- Nice to meet you.

- A hailstorm hit the roof but it worked

- Hurry.

[laughs]

Right. No one's selling you,

I'll make sure of that.

No way, no how.

We're staying in the house now ♪

Hey, dance with me, son.

He ran away fast.

- Uh, cool. Here, your credit card.

- I knew I had it in me!

I bought something incredible!

Do you wanna see, Dad?

I got some good news for you.

There's no new buyers now

and our family is intact, so take that.

- Oh, no. What did you do?

- I did it, ha!

- What did you say bye to Vanilse?

- What now?

Mom said if the house didn't sell,

she'd sell your van.

- What?

- Don't forget the van's registered to her.

Well, ya know, I think we're better apart.

We'll just see each other on holidays.

Oh, I need to sell this house.

- Hey, Sérgio. Sérgio!

- [audience laughing]

- Oh, hey, Sandra?

- Hmm? What?

You just got a message from a buyer.

Wanna reply? I'll do it for you.

I already got someone

who was interested so I'm not worried.

I've had it with all this.

I just want to move on.

Oh, what's this?

Did you know you've got

a ton messages in the trash folder?

- What?

- How could you have missed all these?

It looks like all the messages

you've been receiving

- have been getting deleted.

- When?

Looks like it was the other day. Listen,

"I'm very interested in the house.

It's so gorgeous."

He's lying.

Ivandro's the only one

who has my password.

- Yeah?

- Why would he want to delete them?

I bet he was feeling bad for his dad.

I feel bad,

but he's going to have to get used to it.

- [phone ringing]

- Oh, oh. Sandra.

Your buyer Sérgio's trying to call you.

- It's a video call. Dang.

- [gasps] What?

He may not be a bus,

but I'd ride that all day long.

Alê, put it back in your pants

and hand the phone over.

- Attention! I'm pulling over real quick.

- Pull over.

- [passengers complaining]

- Shh, shh!

- [phone ringing]

- Hopefully, it's good news.

How are you, Sérgio? Are we good?

Yay, let's get the deal signed!

You gotta be nuts.

No way. With all the issues

they told me about on the tour?

Who said there were issues?

Sérgio, hold on a sec, 'kay?

I can explain, so don't hang up on me.

I got this.

Yeah, Ivan?

So what did the buyer say to you?

It was perfect, Sandra.

He was passionate. He loved the house.

I think you could even raise the price

if you wanted.

Oh, and uh, he broke a cup.

Clumsy guy. Uh-huh.

We've got a winner, Sandra.

Now I wanna, uh, verify one small thing

that Ivandro mentioned earlier, uh,

- it was about my van.

- I am so happy he told you.

San Sandra, just one second.

You know how I need the van so I can

San Sandra?

- [phone beeps]

- Hey, Sérgio? Hey.

Hey, Sérgio?

Oh, I can't believe this happened to me.

- Oh, my God, Sandra.

- [sobbing]

- [passengers complaining]

- Yeah!

Hey, Ivandro!

Did you delete my real estate emails?

I gave dad the password

but I didn't delete them.

In exchange for what?

- Some new shoes. It was important to me.

- Oh, my God.

You have no idea

how upset I am with you two, Ivandro.

I do. Because the tongue on those sneakers

doesn't know how to stop talking.

- I was powerless over the shoes.

- You're just as wrong so quiet down!

I know, I swear I'll fix all of this.

I made a new flyer for us to hang around.

I printed a few.

What the heck is that?

That's not even our house.

What's the matter?

The entire world is using filters

to improve their looks.

- What's the problem with us doing it?

- [audience laughing]

[Ivan] You know I'm right.

I asked you something,

are you just gonna stay quiet?

I can't handle much more, Ivan.

Not only did you messages delete

[actors and audience laughing]

You delete the messages,

you scared away the buyer.

No, I never scared anyone. No, Sandra.

The only thing that I'm guilty of

is telling him all the bad news upfront.

Uh, is there a problem here?

Do you need any help, my love?

No, I can handle it.

What are you, a TV show judge now?

Care to make a ruling on my family?

- I dare you.

- [audience applauding]

You're not a part of the family, okay?

But I know you get confused so

Right here.

Hold on, hold this.

[audience exclaiming]

- [Ivan laughs]

- [audience laughs, exclaims]

[Robson] I can guarantee you one thing.

That when Ivandro is my stepchild,

I'll buy him better gifts

than you have. Oh!

- Did you hear that?

- Yeah, I sure did.

Well, if you get some sneakers for me,

I'll go to the court

and to change my name to Robson Jr.

[Ivan, Sandra] Can you not, Ivandro?

- [Ivandro] It's no big deal.

- [Ivan] Are you hearing, Sandra?

- Look at what you've done to our son.

- [Ivandro] Man, shut up.

The kid is selling himself out

for sneakers.

How about you worry about

about your daughter, Vanilse?

If you're not careful,

I will sell your dumb van.

- What was that?

- I will sell that van!

- Get over here, sweetie.

- Ha, she's my boss.

Now jump for me, go ahead.

- [Ivan] Go away.

- [audience laughing]

[Sandra laughs]

[Ivan] Ivandro, I'm

You need to help your dad.

I need you to call Sérgio for me.

Find out where he eats,

where he buys groceries,

who he's been making love with.

I'm no reporter, but we'll find him.

I don't have time for that.

I've got my own job.

So no time for your dad?

Nine months kicking your mom's belly,

and when it's me, you kick me in the nuts.

It's unbelievable.

I am not okay right now!

It's one thing after another.

- Help me out! How hard can it be?

- [Ivandro] For God's sake.

[Ivan] I'm so sorry. Just a second.

We'll leave shortly, y'all.

I'm just fixing a little problem.

Did you manage to reach him?

No one's picking up.

You don't have an address.

- How are we gonna find the guy?

- He opened up

some new donut shop down on Market.

There a ton of dessert shops over there.

Where would we even begin?

Most of them got shut down

by the city already.

This guy's a fool.

That's why he works in donuts.

It's a job for total idiots.

And let me tell you something, my son,

you'll always meet a simpleton,

anywhere you go.

You need to watch out. Call him again.

- I'm gonna mock him. "You're an idiot."

- Go for it. Yeah.

- Do it.

- That's it, huh?

- [phone beeps]

- [phone ringing]

Hello?

[audience laughing]

Uh, hello. I'm the idiot.

Oh, no. Uh, hey, Sérgio, that was a loke.

You would be the idiot though,

if you didn't sign the papers.

That house is made for you.

Hey, everyone. Looks like Ivan

from the van is nothing but a swindler.

[Ivan] No.

The house he wants to sell me

is falling to pieces.

- What?

- The wood is peeling

and it's infested with vermin.

My skin peels

when I'm in the sun for too long.

It's totally normal for a wall to do that.

Come on, Sérgio.

I'm gonna find myself a good lawyer.

- Lawyer at your service. Hi there.

- [audience laughing]

Introducing Dr. Maurício,

the most sought-after lawyer

at this here, uh

At this station.

- Maurício, go away.

- [Maurício] But why?

It isn't personal. In the line of duty,

there are pros and cons.

Yeah, and right now I'm becoming a con.

[audience laughing]

Come to my office. It's right over here.

- I like using this table.

- [Ivan] The ride is cancelled, okay?

- [Ivandro] Just this once!

- [Ivan] It is cancelled.

I can't handle this right now.

You have no right to complain about it,

internet people get cancelled

for any tiny little thing.

- Excuse me for cancelling one thing.

- [Sandra] Ivan.

- You found Sérgio after all.

- I did.

Like tough beef, you don't get cooked

until the pressure comes.

Yeah, aw.

- I've had it with the both of you.

- What?

I'm hiring an excellent lawyer

to fight you.

- Mm-hmm.

- You're good at this?

Yes, I'm excellent.

Known as one of the greatest.

This is a temporary office.

I'm only using it

while my high-end office undergoes

state-of-the-art expensive construction.

The only case this guy won

was the one that caused him

to be dismissed from his job.

- Not true.

- [Sandra] Speak for yourself, Ivan.

Look at this.

Dr. Maurício, I got this for you.

These are the documents for the van.

- Yeah.

- Thank you very much, Sandra.

And listen. You are wonderful and an angel

for finding a buyer for the van.

- Read my lips. Won-der-ful, Mau-rí-cio.

- Slay, queen!

I'll do it all for you, Sandra.

Oh, wow, Maurício, the dis-ap-point-ment.

- Accept it 'cause you lost. Yeah!

- [audience laughs]

On second thought,

I think I want your house.

- There's one thing. There are conditions.

- One more thing.

- Conditions.

- I want to have

maximum transparency in this negotiation.

Not a problem. We're at Marta's

and everything is transparent.

The alcohol, the drinks, very transparent.

[audience laughing]

First I want, to have all the leaks fixed

- before I move in.

- Uh-huh.

- They have to fix all the leaks.

- The leakage.

[Sérgio]

The plumbing should be replaced too.

- Keep going.

- Electricity I don't think that's been

[indistinct chatter]

- Done. We're all set. It's a done deal.

- [chuckles]

For sure. I'm so grateful.

Thanks so much. Oh, Sandra.

Now that we managed to sell the house,

you don't need to sell Vanilse.

[gasps] Oh, my God.

- What'd you do?

- I forgot to tell Migué Migué!

I've been dismantling Vanilse.

And I'll put this

on that bumper car for your nephew.

- Aw, that's so nice!

- [Ivan] Oh!

You stripped the headlight off

of Vanilse?

Oh, no! Not my daughter, no!

[theme song playing]

[theme song continues]

[music fades]