02x08 - SHLUB$

[bunniefuu]

Deliria:
So then after that confusion,

your father decided
it would behoove him

to figure out a way
to give a nonsexual hug.

Hippocampus: Is that why he
keeps touching me with his fingertips?

[Laughter] Stupendous:
Where is Shlub, anyway?

Hippocampus: The last
time I saw him, he was

playing dice with an ogre.

Stupendous: The last
time I saw him, he was

dangling from a tree with his

coat pockets turned out

saying he didn't have any money,

but he obviously had enough

money to buy that coat.

Tyrannis: The last
time I saw him, he was

passed out in a corner,

probably from drinking red wine

and warm milk all afternoon.

What does he call that?

Hippocampus: A Hotbelly Naptime!

[Laughter]

Stupendous: Which corner
was he passed out in?

Tyrannis: The one
with the big vase.

Stupendous: Oh, yeah.
That's a good corner.

Deliria: That's odd.
The last time I saw him

passed out in a corner, it was

the one with the big vase.

But that was ages ago.

Hippocampus: This didn't seem
like a problem to either of you?

Tyrannis: He did not look
like this when I saw him.

Deliria: Nor I. And
you know your father.

He is a good sleeper.

He snoozed right on
through Pangea splitting up.

Shlub: One of you, come here
and give your old man a hug.

I'll save my sexual
embrace for you, my love.

[Coughing]

[Theme music playing]

♪

♪

♪ Ooh!

Stupendous: Hippo,
what's wrong with him?

Hippocampus: I
can't be sure just yet.

His body's ecosystem is
far more complex than most.

Tyrannis: He's
looking better already.

I'm sure it's
nothing too serious.

Remember when he
was passing that furball?

He looked a lot worse
then. Shlub: Aah!

Hippocampus: I
think it's his lionheart.

Tyrannis: His lionheart?
Shlub: The heart of

my Manticore part.

Hippocampus: Dad
needs medical attention

and I mean serious tinkering.

He is really sick.

[Ty sighs] Stupendous:
So what do we do?

Tyrannis: I don't think
we need to do anything

but let him sleep it off.

He's obviously going
to be OK. He always is.

Deliria: Can you fix him?
Hippocampus: I can try.

Stupendous: No offense,
Hippo, but isn't it time

someone brought up the
goddess in the room here?

Deliria: What about me?
Stupendous: If Dad's really sick,

can't you do a little zap,
zap, make him better?

Deliria: It's not
as simple as that.

Stupendous: It was as
simple as that when your

favorite seal had that cough.

Deliria: When Shlub
and I married, I promised

I would never use
my powers on him.

Stupendous: And you
don't think he'd want you

to make an exception here?

Deliria: No! And
besides, I'm too upset.

When I'm upset, my powers...

Tyrannis: Suddenly don't exist?

If he was really
sick, which he's not,

I would do anything for
Dad. But he's not that sick.

Stupendous: What are you doing?

Shlub: Flying... to my
ancestral homeland...

to curl up under a bush

and hope that
death takes the form

of a nice, busty tar pit.

Deliria: Shlub, no!
You can't mean that.

We have lunch later.

Hippocampus: He's got
a case of the sick crazies.

He doesn't know
what he's saying.

We gotta get him into a lab.

My lab. The lab.

Tyrannis: So your
plan is to blow him up?

Sounds like it might do a little bit
more harm than good, don't you think?

Hippocampus: You're not
getting it. This bad boy reduce...

Tyrannis: This isn't a bad
boy. This is a death machine.

Deliria: Just let
him explain, Ty.

Hippocampus: This
big ol' blastin' bad boy

reduces anything to
its binary essences.

Stupendous: Uh,
in language, please?

Hippocampus: Dad's
a mantitaur, right?

So he's part centaur,
part manticore.

And a manticore is a man,
scorpion, lion, and eagle.

I identify the sick element,

treat it, and I zap
him back together.

I built in a
"reverse-zapper." Pretty cool.

Hit that and it puts the parts
back together and Dad is saved.

Stupendous: Are you sure
this Dad-splitter will work?

Hippocampus: Why don't
you ask this ailouromus.

Part cat, part mouse. And...

There you have it. [Cat meows]

[Mouse squeaks] [Cat slurps]

Hippocampus: Ignore that
part. Deliria: I'm not sure I can.

Hippocampus: Well, does
anyone else have a better idea?

Tyrannis: Yes. Mom, fix
Dad. Deliria: I told you I can't.

Tyrannis: Well, can!
I mean, be able to!

If you can't, can't
you just... can?

[Shlub wheezing]

Stupendous: I don't think
we got a lot of time here.

Deliria: Hippo, just
do it. I trust you.

Blow him up. I can't watch this.

Hippocampus: It
worked! I give you

Centaur Shlub and
Manticore Shlub!

Stupendous: And they're both
Shlub? Hippocampus: Well...

Centaur: What is "Shlub"?

Manticore: I think it's a sound.

Like "pfft" or
[blows raspberry].

Tyrannis: Neither of them
is Shlub? That seems wrong.

Hippocampus: They're
not supposed to be.

They're his centaur

and manticore essences.

Huh?

Hold on.

Tyrannis: That's a dragon. I
thought the wings were from an eagle.

Dragon: Eagle. Pfft. Man: Pfft.

Centaur: Shlub. [Lion wheezes]

Hippocampus: Just as
I suspected. It's his lion.

Stupendous: Can
you make it better?

Hippocampus: It's too far gone.

Our only option is to replace

his lion with a healthy one.

You're the obvious
choice. Let's split you up,

take out your presumably healthy
lion, slap you back together again.

Tyrannis: I'm sorry. Did
you say my healthy lion?

Hippocampus: Yeah. You're
part Dad and part Mom.

So you're also a manticore,

which means you're a lion, bro.

Tyrannis: Now hold
on just a... thank you.

But if having a sick
lion is doing this to Dad,

won't having no lion
really screw me up?

Hippocampus: You should be
fine. Tyrannis: If I should be fine,

why don't we split you
up and use your lion?

Hippocampus: I would do
it, but I'm the only guy here

who knows the technology.

Stupendous: I'm not
part lion. Wish I was.

Tyrannis: Let's take a
step back for a second.

Have we considered soup?

Stupendous: I think
you're just scared.

Tyrannis: Of course
I'm scared! I mean,

how safe even is this thing?

Hippocampus: Aah!

[Atlantean gasping]

Tyrannis: Oh,
no, oh, no, oh, no.

Stupendous: What did you
do? Tyrannis: It was a mistake.

Who knew such a
delicate piece of machinery

would be so slippery?

There you go, bro.

Atlantean: I'm not your bro.

And you don't know
what you're doing.

I can tell from
your stupid face.

Stupendous: What is this guy?

Tyrannis: An Atlantean,
from the looks of it.

Pretty unpleasant for no reason.

Stupendous: Yeah, he definitely

doesn't have Hippo's charm.

Atlantean: That's
because I'm not Hippo,

you pinheads. I'm my own thing.

Deliria: Is he
better yet? [Gasps]

Oh, no! Where's Hippo?

And which one of
you is my Shlub?

Dragon: Well, we know
which lion is Shlub's.

[Lion wheezing]

Dragon: I'm sorry.
That was rude.

Deliria: Ty, what have you done?

Tyrannis: What have I
done? What have you done?

I'm actually
working to save Dad.

I was about to give him my lion.

Stupendous: "About to" is for

horseshoe crabs
and pomegranates.

It's an expression!

Tyrannis: So are
you going to step in?

Deliria: No, I'm... I'm... I'm
busy. But you must fix this.

Tyrannis: You heard the
lady. I'm in charge here now,

and I'm gonna save
Dad. [Atlantean laughs]

Tyrannis: Oh, you think I
can't? Well, guess what?

I'm gonna... whoa whoa
whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa!

[Cat meows] [Dog barks]

Tyrannis: Damn my
commitment to moisturizing!

Tyrannis: We'll need to
keep the Shlub essences

and the Hippo essences together,

because I don't know what
happens if they get mixed up.

Stupendous: You know
who would probably

know what happens? Tyrannis
and Stupendous: Hippo.

Tyrannis: Yeah, I get it.
I hate to pull rank here,

but Dad is my actual dad.

He's just your stepdad,

so please just go
along with my plan.

Stupendous: Are you sure
you didn't make all this happen

so you could be in charge?
Atlantean: I think he did.

Tyrannis: You're an
essence. You don't know me.

I'm the king, so I'm
always in charge.

You know, in general.
I promise you, Stupe,

this wasn't the plan,
but it is what it is.

Centaur: It's called
turning a whoopsie-daisy

into an oops-urtunity.

Tyrannis: Do you all
have personalities?

Because that will be
a lot to keep track of.

Man: Humans are, like,
a newer thing in the world,

so I think I'm
still finding mine.

Dragon: And
scorpions don't talk,

though they communicate somehow.

Maybe through smells.

Dragons are know-it-alls.

Stupendous: Are
any of you Dad-parts,

like, really horny?

Wow. Trippy. Tyrannis:
You know what?

This is gonna get
very confusing.

We need to be smart about this.

You want to help, you can
keep track of them with these.

Stupendous: This is a good
use of my time and talents.

Tyrannis: Now I will carefully
blow up Hippo's mantitaur.

Mantitaur: Wait, wait!

Tyrannis: Are we ready?
Manticore: Is "we" just me? Aah!

Deliria: Let's see.
We've got the fire,

the swirly stick, a fork you
can comb your hair with.

Where's the thing?
Oh! Kolax: Deliria,

what are you
doing in the kitchen?

Deliria: My husband isn't
feeling well, and I want to

surprise him with
something special.

Kolax: Do you need help?

Deliria: Of course
not. I'm a goddess.

I know how to make... lunch.

Kolax: OK, well,
what's for... lunch?

Deliria: Something
he had in a dream.

It's a party for the mouth.

And complicated, yet simple.

And that it came in a dish.

That's all I know. That,
and that he loves it

and that I want to make it
for him. He woke up salivating.

Kolax: OK, so maybe
it's a dry kind of food?

Deliria: Oh, I know
he loves dry food,

especially when it gets wet

and then dry
again, like lasagna.

Kolax: So... lasagna?

Deliria: If you're going to help
me, you need to be serious.

Kolax: I'm serious.
We're going to

figure this out
together. You and me.

A servant and a goddess.

Deliria: Don't do that.

Tyrannis: It's OK,
everyone. It's OK.

I'm not here to hurt you.

I'm here to make you better.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Centaur: It's a weird
experience, having

the essences I've shared
a body with split like this.

Like I'm feeling a breeze

that's blowing
in a different city.

Centaur 2: Right on. Man:
But we're not supposed

to be here, man.

We're not supposed to exist!

Centaur: But if you
think about it, is anything

supposed to exist?

Dragon: Nerd! Dragon 2: Nerd.

Man: Don't worry.
I'm scared, too.

We should probably
stick together.

Tyrannis: No, you shouldn't.
Everyone stay sorted

until we... Stupendous:
Done with the ribbons!

Unless you want me to
put the blue ones on, too.

Tyrannis: Of course.
Of course. Well,

that's a later this
afternoon problem.

I just need the... yes!

That's a healthy,
little lion guy.

Now, let's get to swapping.

[Atlantean laughing]

Tyrannis: W-Why? What have
you done? Why would you do that?

Atlantean: Maybe I'm
protective of my fellow essence.

Maybe I wanted to punish you.

Maybe I have no impulse control.

Dealer's choice!

[Laughing] Hey!

Stupendous: I'm doing
this for Hippo. He'd get it.

Tyrannis: Well, that's just
great. Now we don't have

a healthy lion we can use.

Dragon: Sure we do. It's in you.

Tyrannis: Can you
please stay out of this?

Stupendous: Ty,
that's part of Dad.

You can't be mad
at Dad. He's sick.

Tyrannis: I know he's sick.
That's why we need another lion.

Stupendous: Well, you didn't
seem to know he was sick before.

Now, Hippo might
know what to do.

Tyrannis: We don't have
time to put Hippo back together.

We don't even know
which things are him.

Dragon: I bet we
could figure it out.

Tyrannis: No. You know what?

No more splitting
up this family.

At least not on
purpose. Starting now.

Stupendous: If you say so.

Tyrannis: I've been
thinking about this all wrong.

Atlantean: You think? Ha!

Tyrannis: We need
another mantitaur.

The only other mantitaur.

Bring me Paizo.

Paizo: What is the
meaning of this?

I demand to know.

Great polymorphous
perversity, Shlub, man.

What have you gotten into?

Tyrannis: Paizo!
Great to see you.

Now, just so I've done
my due diligence here,

would you confirm for
me that you're a mantitaur

exactly like my father Shlub?

Paizo: Obviously. In
fact, I'm third generation.

I'm very proud of
being a mantitaur.

I couldn't imagine
living any other way.

Dragon: Did he
say third generation?

Tyrannis: Here we
go. Maximum power.

Stupendous: Whoa.
There's so many of them.

Dragon: Hmm. I guess
that makes sense.

Tyrannis: I did it.
We have all the lions

we could ever want
to smoosh into Dad.

We can throw one
in for Hippo, too!

[Voices talking at once]

Lion: Thinking
what I'm thinking?

[Voices talking at once]

Man: It didn't even occur
to me to try to escape.

[Panting] Uhh! Tyrannis: No!

If you leave, you
can never recombine

exactly as you were before!

Stay where you are!
How is it so hard to replace

a sick lion essence
in a mantitaur?

Red dragon: Hey,
guys. Dragons: Hey.

Kolax: OK, we've already
tried crunchy, sweet,

hard, round, plump, and juicy.

Does any of this seem right?

Deliria: Yes, but there
might have been one more.

Salt! That was it. Wait.

Never mind. That
was a sex thing.

But I wouldn't rule
it out for food, too.

Stupendous: What's
happening in here?

Deliria: We're making lunch!

Kolax: And we're getting close!

Deliria: I heard Paizo
getting dragged in

against his will earlier.

Does that mean Shlub is better?

Stupendous: Um, no, not yet,

but we're working on it.

I was just wondering if maybe,

you know, you've reconsidered

trying to use your powers.

Deliria: Can't you
see that I'm busy?

And this kitchen
was so disorganized.

I mean, who needs so many mugs?

Stupendous: You can
put anything in a mug.

Deliria: Not this
lunch, you can't.

No, no, this lunch

goes in a dish

and it's cold, wet, chunky, dry,

and it all works in
perfect harmony.

Kolax: Here. Try this.

Deliria: We're getting close.

Try all the same things

together, but don't stir.

Kolax: Don't stir? Are you sure?

Deliria: Am I
sure? Yes, I'm sure.

Pile all the stuff on top
of each other one by one.

Stupendous: I know
this is important,

but things are
really bad in there.

Deliria: Please, let
me do this cheese!

[Crying]

Tyrannis: Where did you go?
Stupendous: After the Paizo thing,

I just thought I'd
ask Mom if maybe...

Tyrannis: Why? She's
already made it clear

that she won't help.
I'm the only hope.

Stupendous: Right.
So on the b*ttlefield,

we have a special
word for this: a mess.

But, Mom, she's...
she's acting really weird.

Tyrannis: She's acting
selfish and dramatic

and utterly unhelpful.

That's not weird
at all. That's Mom.

Stupendous: I don't know.
It's a little different this time.

She's, like, making things

with her hands. In the kitchen.

Tyrannis: Unbelievable. If I
were a god, I'd fix Dad right away.

Stupendous: Me, too.
Sucks only being half a god.

Tyrannis: Wait a
minute. That's right.

I'm half Mom. If I split myself,

the god side of me can do what

Mom has been refusing to do.

Then I can save Dad and probably

clean all this
up real fast, too.

Stupendous: You
really think that'll work?

Tyrannis: We've gotta
try. Now: explode me.

Stupendous: Finally.

God Ty: Bring me Shlub's lion.

Seriously? [Laughter]

One of you dragons, check
to see if it's getting any better.

Dragon: It's hard to tell
with all the flowers in the way.

[Laughter]

Stupendous: Dad
would have loved this.

[Lion wheezing]

Dragon: It died.
Our lion part died.

Centaur: What does
this mean for Foon-Foon?

I've decided to call
myself Foon-Foon.

Man: Game over, man! Game over!

[Crying]

Dragon: All right,
where are my guys?

Might as well smoosh back
up and see what happens.

Atlantean: Oh, no, I'm
not smooshing back up.

I was never planning
to smoosh back up.

Dragon: Well, maybe we
should explore new combinations.

I think all the dragons
together could be pretty cool.

Man: What would
that mean for me?

Dragon: I don't know,
but don't think you can

start asking us for rides.

Stupendous: What are
you doing? I really think

you should give me the zapper.

God Ty: I refuse to
believe that there isn't

a powerful god inside
me that can fix Dad.

Dragon: OK, now, let's
see. I guess that's just

what happens
when you split a god?

More of that god?

Stupendous: It's not
working. Maybe your god side

is not that strong.

God Ty: But there's progress.

Dragon: Hey, can we
get the thingy over here?

God Ty: Not right now.
I'm trying something.

Dragon: Great. Let's
just try smooshing.

[All grunting]

Dragon: At a certain point,
we have to acknowledge

that what we're doing
looks a little foolish.

Stupendous: Ty, this is crazy.
Just sh**t your manticore,

take the lion, and
get this over with

so everyone can go back to
how they're supposed to be.

Super God Ty: I'm
getting there. I was right.

There's a powerful god
in me, and it's pretty fun!

Ty God Core: Stupey, look at me!

Stupendous: Stupey?
Ty God Core: I am a god.

Stupendous: I see that.
So are you gonna save Dad?

Ty God Core: What's that now?

[Dance music playing]

I don't think it's
what I meant to do,

but I'm happy it happened.

Stupendous: Ty!
Ty God Core: What?

Look at all the puppets dancing.

You know who'd like to see this?

Deliria: My God,
Kolax, I think we did it.

Kolax: Who would have
believed it would work?

A dip of 7 layers.

Deliria: The cold shredded
cheese is so wrong it's right.

Oh, the perverse
things that come out of

my beautiful Shlub's mind.
Thank you for helping me.

I've just been
feeling so helpless.

Which is weird for me.
My husband's very ill.

I don't know if he's
going to get better.

And I don't think
I can save him.

Kolax: So you're saying
there's a chance for us?

Deliria: What? What?

Kolax: Misread the signals.

Forget it. Misread the signals.

Deliria: Aah!

[Dance music
playing] Put me down.

Ty God Core: Mom, check
it out! I'm a god just like you!

Greater than you! A whole other

level of greatness,
it seems like!

[Laughs]

Deliria: What is
happening with Shlub?

Ty God Core: Hold on, hold
on, I've got to do something.

Deliria: No! Not a low
pony. Ty, be reasonable!

Ty God Core: No one
looks good with a lo-ny.

Ha ha! Oh, Mom, lighten up.

I'm just teasing
you. It's funny.

Stupendous: You know how
people go mad with power?

Ty's gone stupid with god power.

Deliria: Stop this right
now. I am your mother.

Ty God Core: Oh, look at
that. Who's the mother now?

Deliria: Ty, you need to stop
playing around and let me go.

Ty God Core: Can't risk
you zapping me again.

That wasn't very nice.
I'm just trying to help here.

Deliria: Well, then at least
use your god powers for good.

Ty God Core: I could
say the same to you.

Strong bird point.
[Birds chirping]

That is fun!

Deliria: It's not that
I didn't want to help.

When I'm upset, I
can't trust my powers.

I was afraid if I intervened,
I might mess it all up

and I'd be the
one to k*ll him, OK?

I thought he'd be in better
hands with you children.

Tyrannis: Oh, wow. I think
I've had this dream before.

So, um, did I fix Dad?

Stupendous: No! He's actually
gotten worse. His lion died.

Deliria: I knew it. I
could feel it in my bones.

And now I don't even
know what parts of this

puppet show are the rest of him.

I'll never be able
to say good-bye.

Tyrannis: Stupe, why
aren't you freaking out?

Stupendous: I'm not
freaking out because I realized

how I can fix this.

How I can save my dad.

I'm half-god, too,
and I think I can help.

Just watch out for the cyclops.

God Stupendous:
It's smooshing time.

Cyclops: Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Hippocampus: Yeah.

Shlub: Darling, this is
absolutely incredible.

You made this? It's like you

fished it out of my brain's

deepest pleasure center.

Kolax: I helped.
Ooh! Deliria: Here,

try it with these.

They don't exist
in our world yet.

[Shlub munching]

Mm. Mm-hmm! Ha ha!

Stupendous: So what was it
like being all exploded like that?

Shlub: Well, at first
I didn't even know

I was having an
out-of-body experience.

I thought I was just sleeping.

You know I'm a good sleeper.

I slept through an ice age.

Deliria: And peed for 6 months

straight after he woke up.

Shlub: But this, well,
this was different.

I was sliding in and
out of awareness...

rhythmically, sensuously,
with increasing intensity.

I suppose that's why they
call death "the little love."

Hippocampus: Thanks for
explaining it all, by the way.

At first I thought some of
it didn't make any sense,

but it all did make
sense. Every part of it.

Ty: Well, I, for
one, am happy that

you're not dead,
and I mean that.

Shlub: Why would
you not mean it?

Stupendous: I think he
means people can act

in surprising ways
in an emergency.

Shlub: Did you do something
surprising while I was out?

Deliria: Let's just say
no and leave it at that.

Tyrannis: And neither did Stupe.

She saved you, you know.

Shlub: Thank you, Stupe. I can
always count on my daughter.

Stupendous: It was nothin'
you wouldn't have done for me.

Shlub: Now, there's one more
thing that happened while I was out.

I couldn't stop
thinking about Paizo.

Isn't that odd? I'd
love to see him.

Tyrannis: So we
can't be sure, but...

Hippocampus: Paizo exploded
and there's a not insignificant

chance that he's in
both of us right now.

Tyrannis: It got pretty
messy, but it all worked out.

Stupendous: Well, not for Paizo.

Shlub: Focus on the positives.

We're all Paizoed up.

Rest in peace,
good fellow. Or...

Hippocampus: Rest in pieces.
Right. Tyrannis: In pieces.

Shlub: Rest in pieces because...

Tyrannis: It's the pieces of Paizo
that... Hippocampus: We get it, Dad.

Shlub: Good night, sweet prince.

Tyrannis: Oh, wait,
Dad, I got a good one.

Now that's... Tyrannis
and Shlub: A piece of Paizo.

[Laughter]

Hippocampus: How is that funny?

Centaur: Hello? Is anyone there?

Manticore: Hello? I'm here.

Centaur: Oh, you
scared me a little bit.

Manticore: I did? Boo!

[Both laugh] Manticore:
I'm just kidding.

Dragon: We just
came from Krapopolis,

but I have zero memory
of anything before.

Centaur: Me, too! Manticore:
You won't believe this,

but me, too.

Centaur: I hope this
isn't inappropriate,

but I feel a strong attraction

to all of you. Physically.

It's almost like I've
just fallen in love.

Manticore: Me, too.
Lion: I've never felt

such an instant
attraction like this.

Dragon: So. Should we
explore it?

Centaur: I mean, I can't think
of a single reason why not.

Manticore: What's a couple
if you can be a quadruple?

[Laughter]

Whispering voice: Paizo.
Voice: Hey.

Man: Did you get any of that?