01x03 - Family Matters

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

Where you been?I've been working.

Toni: I've been rehearsing

for my new Las Vegas show

called "Love and Laughter."

What's wrong

with your heart?

-I was told that

-It's okay, Toni.

if I have a heart attack,

I won't survive.

[Crying] and I can't

even handle that feeling.

♪♪

The death of Traci has

really affected his marriage.

I don't want him

to go into a downward spiral.

Guys

Woman: He has a warrant.

So, he just went to jail?

[Crying]

I wasn't strong enough

to watch

Traci take her last breath.

You're dealing with

post-traumatic stress disorder.Yeah.

And you need treatment.

Woman:

A lot of things are revealed.

Y'all got so many secrets.

I don't have any secrets.It's so irritating.

We're not connected

like we were.

Everybody's mad

about something.

She'll give you the carrot

and you move forward.

"Okay, this is how

Okay, that Now forget it."

What is happening?

You act

like you guys are enemies.

I just lost a child!

Don't you know

how short life is?

I think Traci was the glue

and we never realized.

She was

the double-stick glue.

♪♪

Man: Audio is good.

Everybody ready to rock?

Run it.

♪♪

Hi, guys.Hey, Trini-Weeny.

Hey, baby girl. Mwah.

How are you?

Hey, Trini.Hey, Umbs-magums.

Hey.How was your trip in,

for God's sake?

-Phew!

-That's a whole trip.

That's a ride, isn't it?

Every time I go anywhere,

it's like dropping breadcrumbs

like Hansel and Gretel.

Oh, yeah.

Towanda: I don't think a trail

of breadcrumbs

would help her find her way to

and from any place,

because she's

directionally-challenged.

But I'm glad Trina's

able to make it to lunch today.

After last night's

grief counseling

[Sighs] we all could use

a drink and Trina is the b*mb

when it comes

to picking out amazing drinks.

Okay, it's

a gin-based drink.

Oh, the this one right here?

The blueberry?

That's it. That was it.

And it And it is good.

Well, can I have

a virgin one?

They don't do virgin ones

of those.

Oh, well, I don't want a sl*t.

I want a virgin.

Uh [Sighs]

All you do is ask for a

mocktail, and they'll

A mocktail.Mock, mock.

Mock. Mock.Mock.

But, Mommy,

I'm gonna tell you,

there's nothing wrong

with a little whoredom

every now and again.

Mock.

[Cellphone chimes]Excuse me.

Absolutely.

Hey, nephew.

Woman: This is a prepaid call

from Kevin,

an inmate at the County

Correctional Facility.

All calls are subject

to recording.

To decline, please press two.

To accept, please press five.

To re

[Beep]

Hey, nephew,

how are you feeling?

I-I'm with Aunt Trina

and Mom-Mom here.

Can I put you on speaker?

Is that okay?

Okay. Hold on.

Did we find out

why he's there?

We were

about to call Antavius

and let him know

exactly what's happening.

We don't need to get

into details,

but there has been some charges

that's been related

to this messy divorce situation

that involves Little Kevin

and everybody knows that I call

him "Scratchy"

and

whether or not it was a mistake

with him failing

to appear in court.

The family attorney

is already looking into it

and Little Kevin is in Maryland

and he's so far away.

So I'm pretty sure he's feeling

a little alone right now.

We We are here for you,

nephew.

We got you.

You know we do.

Absolutely, baby.Yeah, we got you.

We love you.

Okay. I love you so much.

Okay. I love you.Love you.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

[Sighs]

He'll be okay.

You know, it's very challenging

because we don't know

what's really going on with him.

Pain is pain.

And to lose your mother,

and they were so, so close,

and maybe that's why he and

his wife are having problems.

I don't know. We don't know.

But all I know

is the loss of his mother

I think that's the big issue.

I really do.

How do you think

last night went?

I don't know.

It was honest

and that's the only way

you can heal, is

if you're honest.

Spirit has good energy.Mm.

I think I need to see

her a couple more times

in an individual setting.Yeah, I think you should.

You might need to see

her every week.

Once a week.

And I'm not being funny.

I'm serious.

I didn'ttake it negatively,

actually.

I think that would be good

for me.

Mm, mm.

Yeah.

You've been through a lot.

It took me a long time

to be able

to put it into words.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Now, putting it

into the words,

I don't know how

to compartmentalize the feeling

in association with the words.Mm-hmm.

And I think that's gonna

take some time to

Yeah. With therapy.With therapy.

Of course.Absolutely.

♪♪

I'll tell you what.

What really hurt me is,

Traci asked you guys

to get along,

and, to me,

it's like, no one

really honored what she said.

I see y'all wearing her little

necklace and all of that.

You're wearing a part of her.

Wherever you go, she goes.

And then last night it's like,

nobody listened to

what she said.

It was just devastating to me.

Are we really not getting along,

or are we all

processing the death

of our sister?

I mean, for me,

moving forward is putting

everything in the past,

but still respecting

everyone's boundaries.

And right now,

I think we need to celebrate

that last night we started

our healing journey as a family

and we just can't push

anyone to heal any faster.

Well, Mom,

ability and willingness

are two different things.

Right.

If you choose

not to participate,

no one else

can do anything about it.

That's right.

Other than you,

the rest are very protectiveMm.

of what they're feeling.

I've seen the side of the girls

that did not exist

before all the cameras.

You have a wall

Toni, and Tamar.

If one was hurting,

everybody was hurting.

They were each other's

best friend.

But it seems like

when things began to happen,

that there was no time,

or they

didn't want to take the time.

They have to fix it,

for God's sakes.

I know everybody thinks, "Well,

but you their mom,

you their mom."

But they're their

own individuals.

And I know sometime it's hard.

I know that.

Traci knew that.

[Clears throat]

But, against all odds,

she knew in her mind and heart

that y'all can do it.

We have to.

Well, children of mine,

grown-behind kids

that's gonna pay for the bill

Trina.

thank you.

See, I can't pay the bill

'cause Toni will have a cow.

Why?

Why?

"Mommy, you let

them pay for that bill."

I know better than that.

Then she'll be calling

Why would she have cow?

Then she'll be calling you guys,

asking y'all why y'all let me

Tattletale.I'm gonna tell it.

Why would you do that?

You knowI'm gonna tell it.

Why would you be

a tattletale?

'Cause I want to.[Clicks tongue]

Bye.

Little snitch.

Snitches get stitches.

Unh-unh. You don't say that

to your mama.

[Both laugh]

♪♪

♪♪

Hey, Ken.

Hey.

How are you?I'm all right, honey.

How are you?

[Smooching]

T.B., my sister.Hey, love. Mwah.

I took the red-eye to L.A.

because I'm meeting

with my manager, Kenneth,

and my music supervisor, Walter,

to go over the plans for

the new show in Vegas

with Cedric the Entertainer,

which starts

in less than a month.

And even though I'm still

processing all the emotions

that came out

from the grief counseling,

I need to put my mind back

into my work.

How's it been working

with Cedric

and putting

his stuff together?

No, Ced has been, like,

super amazing.

He comes in,

we go over his set,

all of the changes

that he's he's asking for.

But

what's been really amazing

is to see the camaraderie

between Toni and Cedric.

Cedric and I

are doing this show together.

That takes a lot

of the pressure off me

and I don't feel

like I have to do it.

It's like I have a costar,

which helps me as a performer.

It helps me just charge

my battery again,

'cause I haven't performed

in over four years.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes.

And with that in mind,

how do we make this show?

How do we make it as easy

as possible?

What do I do?

What do you suggest?

Because the scariest part

for me is is my health,

even though I feel good.

Just that every day, I'm like,

"I just hope I don't get sick.

Hope I don't get sick."

Every day.

It's, like,

anxiety every single day.

So, now that we know this,

But

what happens if I get fatigued?

What do we do?

Well

Let's be prepared for it.

It's not easy

for us to navigate

Right.

because of health issues.

'Cause you just don't know

when it's going to happen.

Exactly, exactly.

But it's the realRight, right.

because I want her to be

on this earth longer.

Exactly.

And that's the

most important thing.

Yeah.

In just a few short weeks,

I'll be back on the Vegas Strip

and I'm trying hard

not to let

my past health scare get into

my head.

But the truth is,

my lupus could flare up

at any time

and more complications

to the major heart issues

that I'm facing right now.

We have to be prepared.

I've prepared the entire team.

Say I'm tired. "Like,

okay, I'm a little tired.

Mm-hmm.Give me a second.

Can you run that a second time,

let me get out?"

Yeah. Yeah.That kind of stuff.

That's what we're talking about.Got ya.

Musically. Like,

stuff like that.

And we have it

We have it prepared.

Or if I say, "Okay,

let's take a verse out of that

really quick andYeah, easily done.

just get through the night

'cause I'm a little tired"

Yeah.Everything is outlined,

'cause I know

that look she'll give me

Righton the stage

and we're looking

at each other and she's like,

"It's It's just one

of those nights."

One of those nights.You know what I mean?

And it happens to everybody,

whether you have an ailment

or not.

But, at the end of the day,

I'll stop the entire show

with regards to her health.

♪♪

I feel like I'm

constantly under construction.

I think

I'm one of those people

who needs to always be

in therapy.

Take it from the top, guys.

From the top of the show.

The Vegas show premieres

next week, and I'm so anxious,

'cause I'm not doing great.

You've been dodging

a conversation.

♪♪

You had a session.

What happened during that?

♪♪

Man: Copy that.

[Cellphone buzzes]

♪♪

Who?

♪♪

I'm a beautiful mess

I be so proud about it

I'm a beautiful wreck

No, I never leave home

without it ♪

Ain't nobody, ain't nobody

Loves me like me, yeah

I've walked in here before.

I was here before.

With who?

A friend of mine.

You took a walk with

a girlfriend or a boyfriend?

A guy friend.I know that's right.

I like to say I am here

in Atlanta on assignment,

because as Traci's

health started to decline more

and more, did I notice

that my mother was by herself

and I didn't like that.

But, you know,

I really do feel like I have

been a thorn in my mother's side

when it comes to her dating.

I've got girlfriends

and I've got boyfriends.

Like, what you mean, you

been to this park with a man?

I ain't even ever been

to this park.

My mama's a pimp.

Let me find out.

My mother is me.

[Laughs]

So,

this is a big time for you.

Your cooking show.

How long have you been waiting

to be doing a cooking show?

Tamar, I've been waiting for

a long time.

Look at God.

Yeah, I know.

A long time.

It was just Logan

was a babyI know.

'cause remember? Logan

would help me cook.

Yeah.At, what, 9 months old,

he's making biscuits?

Yeah.

Stealing biscuits.

Yeah, stealing biscuits.Yeah.

This week, we are sh**ting

our last episodes

for the cooking show with me

and my mom.

We are gonna be teaching you

how to cook some old,

some new dishes.

Absolutely.

I'm going to show you how

your grandmother used to do it.

How about that?

Yes.

And I'm gonna show you

the updated version.

And although it's been amazing

and so exhilarating

and so rewarding,

it's been a lot of hard work.

But I don't know it's been

my favorite project thus far,

outside of writing my book.

How's your book going?

Oh, it's coming.

And every time

I think I'm finished, I'm not.

[Laughs]

You've got to add more.

I'm adding more and more

and more,

'cause things are happening

in real time.

So, is it about you,

is it about

Only about me.

It's about my life's journey

and, like, healing.

The The help that

I got to get over the obstacles.

So, it's more like a

an autobiography/self-help book.

Mm.

You know, some people give

the perspectives

of their own opinions

Mm-hmm.

but I'm giving the

perspective of somebody

who is in active therapy,

Do you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

Because I can't figure it

out by myself.

Mm.Yeah.

And you don't want to give

the name.

I don't have a name yet.

I thought it was

I thought it would be

"Under Construction" at first,

but I don't know.

And though I feel like I'm

constantly under construction.

Mm.

You know?

But that's a That's

a beautiful

That's a nice name.You like that?

'Cause you're constantly

you said it

under construction.

Oh, yeah.Constantly working on yourself.

Yeah, I'm constantly working

on myself.

Trying to better yourself.

It It does.

It makes you a better person.

And so I think it's good.

Yeah.

I'm so glad

that Tamar is writing this book,

because you need to

just put it out there, you know,

so you can function.

It's good therapy.

It's good therapy for her.

I think

I'm one of those people

I think I had to come

to terms

with being

one of those people

who needs to always be

in therapy.

And that doesn't mean

I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I just think that

It's

almost like being an alcoholic.

[Laughs]

No, you

got to go to your meetings.

Yeah, you do.

Your AA meetings. Right.

You know, to stay focused

and and stay, you know,

on track, and that's

how I feel about therapy.

I-I have

to go to my meetings.

Go to your meetings.

Period.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Hm.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

KC: Good job!

Can we just go to Mike's

entrance, Toni, with you,

for the new

little groove part?

We just push to "day." Boom!All right.

Mike comes on.

Da-da-da-da-da

And we go

boom, boom, da-da-da.

KC: Boom, boom, da-da-da.Boom, boom, da-da-da.

We freeze.

Da-da.

Da-da-da-da.

Boom, da-da.

And escape that way.

Da.

Right here. Left and left.Left.

Okay, so,

ladies, can we change that?Yeah. Okay, okay.

Can we all match?

'Cause that's really pretty.

I love vroom. And vroom.

Yeah, that goes really good.Okay.

Great. Just that one part.All right.

[Laughs]Yeah, you wanna

Good. Yeah.

Should we do that again?

Okay. Just one.One more?

Cool. All right, you got it.

Here we go.

Let's do it.

Yeah, just for our break.

Good job. Yeah.Okay.

Sorry. I get excited

with the sparkly mic.

You know

I love a sparkly mic.

The sparkly.

I love my sparkly mic.

Here we go. Okay.Here we go.

I'm so excited.

It's just a month until

the premiere of my new residency

in Las Vegas

with Cedric the Entertainer.

Cedric is gonna bring

on the funny, of course,

while I'm gonna bring

on this music.

A little dancing.

Huh!

We have to make sure it all

works together seamlessly,

which isn't as easy

as you might think.

There are millions of things

to think about all at once.

♪♪

And we even have to come up with

a few surprises

for the audience,

so that part's gonna be great.

♪♪

You got to go, go, go

Come on! Let's go!

♪♪

-Good job!

-Whoo!

And that's how it's done.Man: Whoo! Whoo!

Okay?

KC: Good job, Toni!

How are you feeling?

[Laughter]

Like I'm on "Soul Train."

Right, right. Hey.

And Don Cornelius is

interviewing me about this song.Don said Right.

[Breathlessly] "Well, Don,

it's great to be here."

[Laughter]

"How was it

How was it creating the show?"

"It was wonderful."

And you would think

they would do a pause

so I could breathe, but

You're like

As you're like [Panting]

Yes, exactly that way.

Performing has always

been physically demanding,

but right now I know I

need to pace myself.

So, I'll see you tomorrow, guys.All right.

I need to stay strong

all the way through the run

of this show

so I can deliver

the true Toni Braxton experience

for my fansand for me.

Oh. Umba. Umba!

Toni Braxton! Toni Braxton!

Toni: What are you doing?

Toni Braxton!

Toni Braxton!

What you doing?

Well, I was at a park and I was

about to do a nice long walk,

but it started raining.

For real?

For real.

I'm in rehearsals.

Of course you are.

I'm, like, so hot.

You having a hot flash?

No, I'm not having a hot flash.

I've just finished dancing.

You've been dancing

like Debbie Allen dancing?

I've been trying.

Well, a little more

Britney Spears than Janet-ish.

Girl, don't say that.

Stop! Don't do that.

Well, what's going on

in Atlanta?

Scratchy is out of jail.

So, he went to jail?

Well, he was released yesterday

on his own recognizance,

which is a good thing.

But he didn't call me

to let me know he was released.

I mean, nothing.

For real?

I don't get it.

Oh, and

I just tried calling him

'cause I wanted to check

on him.

You know,

I wanted to make sure he good.

So, something must

have happened.

The situation with Kevin Jr.

seems to be getting worse

and worse by the day

and I'm I'm just really glad

Towanda

is gonna check on him in person.

I would love to go,

but right now my doctor's

restricting my travels

because traveling isn't good

with my lupus

and having the heart condition

and the issues with my blood

and I just flew back from

Atlanta a couple of days ago,

so I really can't fly

again so soon.

But I'm trying to stay calm

[Breathes deeply]

and not go

to a dark place,

because we don't want to panic

and put the energy out there,

but it's really getting

serious now.

I wanted to tell you

something that's positive.

What, what, what?

Trina is going to continue

grief therapy with Spirit.

Okay.

I'm thankful that she realizes

that she really needs it.

I think that Trina

doesn't really want to go down

a rabbit hole of grief.

But, to be able to release

the fear of people judging her,

watching her,

this is something that I know

that Trina's spirit

really needs.

I can't lose this weight

'cause I just feel just

I've just got to eat

all of my emotions.

I'm up till 6:00 and 7:00

in the morning.

I don't sleep.

The sun comes up

before I go to bed

every night for two years.Woman: Yeah.

She has been suppressing all

of that for so long

and I really want Trina

to open up

and be honest

about her feelings,

because that's the only way that

she's gonna be able to heal,

is if she's honest

about her feelings.

Well, when are you going

to grief counseling, girl?

I probably need to get

a sleeping bag there, butProbably?

You said "a sleeping bag."

Girl, a lantern, a fireplace.

No, I do need to go to

grief management.

Camp out.

Like,

that's what I'm saying.

I mean, I felt some kind of way

after our meeting,

because it was a little heavy

for me after I left.

When I got home it was heavy.

It was heavy.

Toni Braxton,

I will say that I applaud you

for speaking how you felt.

It was heavy.

I-I

I carried it with me

and I shouldn't have done that.

What you mean,

you shouldn't have done it?

I'm glad you did.

Are you kidding me?

Oh, thanks.

Even talking about it now.

I can't even I don't even

want to talk about it right now.

I'm sorry.

[Breathes deeply]

♪♪

Woman: Three, twoaction.

Check out our brand-new

cooking show

On Cleo's show.

No.

You know,

she thinks she's the boss.

Ow!

Where your ring at?

He lost it.

I didn't lose it.

That's not what happened.

Oh, so you lost it?

♪♪

Man: Copy that.

[Cellphone buzzes]

♪♪

Who?

[Record scratching]

Ooh, ooh-ooh

Yeah, yeah

Ooh, ooh-ooh

[Camera shutter clicking]

Yeah, yeah

Ooh, ooh-ooh

Yeah, yeah

[Camera shutter clicking]

Ooh, ooh-ooh

Yeah, yeah

Ooh, ooh-ooh

I like to say

I'm a California girl

by way of an Atlanta girl.

Woman: Three, twoaction.

What's up, everybody?

It's your girl Tamar Braxton.

And Miss E.

We can't wait to share some

of our favorite recipes.

This is

how the Braxtons brunch.

It is so exciting to do

this cooking show with Tamar.

She's excited.

She's very excited.

But, you know,

she thinks she's the boss.

Check out our brand-new

cooking show

On Cleo's show.

No. On Cleo TV.

Okay. Cleo

But I let her think that.

I'm like, "It's okay."

♪♪

Do youknow who the best cook

in the family is?

Producer: I haven't had

everybody's cooking.

Baby, let me tell something.

I make a mean BL

at 2:00 in the morning.

[Snapping fingers][Laughs]

Mmm!

[Laughs]

Okay?

It's a Braxton brunch.

On Cleo TV.

Welcome to our kitchen.

Ow!

Man,

this is such a dream come true,

allowing my mother

to live out her dreams.

I've got you covered.

I'm gonna give you all

of my great recipes.

Get all of the flavors

working together.

Absolutely.

There's a lot of healing

in cooking.

There's a lot of healing

in sharing recipes and stories.

I was maybe 6

or 7 years old

and we used to have

this brown stove.

Remember that brown stove,

Mommy?

I remember

Yes, I do.

my mother

being in the kitchen.

I guess you were making gravy

and you were shaking like this.

And she used to put on

a show for us, and I'm like,

"Why do you shake like that

when you make

when you make gravy?"

And she was like, "'Cause

that's what it takes." [Laughs]

It's not just with Tamar.

When the girls are

in the kitchen, it's all of us.

My favorite meal

to cook with Tamar,

I think, is spaghetti.

Mm. I thought you liked

Toni's better.

You just told me that.

I-I-I do love Toni's better.It's not good.

But that doesn't mean

yours is not good.

Toni has spaghetti, she

doesn't even use ground beef.

She uses, like, chuck.

Just expressing each other

and showing each other love.

Food brings peace.

♪♪

It does.

And I think because

you don't have time to argue,

'cause your mouth is full.

This way? You do it flat way

towards the

the glass like this?

Well, however

you want to put it.

Oh.

I think it looks better

like that one.

Yeah, I think so, too.

Here come Trina.

Trina showed up

on our cooking show.

It was so, so nice.

After I do that

Do you put the strawberries

on top of the cake

or do you just put it

around the cake?

No, not not right now.Okay.

Now, we may have

our conflicts,

but when we're in the kitchen,

it's magical, and there's

nothing but good conversation

and laughter and great food.

So, do you do anything

to your cut-up strawberries?

Before Mommy and Tamar

finish filming

the last

of their cooking show,

you know I had to show up and

lend my mixology skills, okay?

Plus, I'm not gonna miss

out on some dessert.

Well

What is

You can't say

You can't deny it's pretty.

How about that?

[Clears throat]

Well, you know,

they say, "Beauty

is in the eye of the "

[Laughing] Oh

[Laughing]

Trina.

[Laughs]

You know what?

You guys

are not gonna spoil my day.

How about that?

[Tamar and Trina laughing]

Oh-hoo!

♪♪

It sort of started

when my wasband passed.

When I did grieve for him,

I was almost, like, punished.

Punished by who?

Von.

You've been dodging

a conversation.

♪♪

You had a session.

What happened during that?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Man: Speeding.

♪♪

Grief is connected to

everything else.

I don't know what

to do with the noise.

[Crying]

I wasn't strong enough

to watch

Traci take her last breath.

You're dealing with

post-traumatic stress disorder.

What do I do with it?

And you need treatment.

♪♪

Hi.

Hey. You made it.

Yes.

Oh! Great.

Likewise.Mm. Mm!

I'm so glad you came.

You look good. Okay.Oh, come on. Come sit.

I look good?

Listen, I need these.

Girl, these old things?Mm-hmm.

Mm.

They're comfy, though.

Uh-huh.

That's what's most important.

I think the grief counseling

kind of reminded myself

there was a lot

that I needed to unpack

and I didn't realize how much

healing I needed at the time

until there was an outpouring

of emotion,

and just allowing

that bottle to open,

because I think

I just shook it up so much,

when the top opened, it was,

like, fizz going everywhere

and I had no cup to put it in.

The other night, we talked

about just the ball of emotions

that you are experiencing.

Mm-hmm.The depression, the anxiety.

I told you about

post-traumatic stress disorder.

How do you see yourself now?

♪♪

I still have

some work to do.

Mm.

A lot of work to do.

You talked about the nightmares

when you were sleeping.

Yes. I don't like

to close my eyes.

Is it always

the same thing?

It's not always the same thing,

but it's just different

movies

going on in my head.

Replays going on

in my head of different things.

Okay.

Just replay.

I want to know specifically

about the snapshots

Mm.

that you have taken and

strung together to make a movie.

Mnh-mnh. No. Mnh-mnh.

I'm not ready for that one.

Mm.

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

Mm.

♪♪

If it hurts

for you to touch it

It does.

but then it lives in you

until we touch it

and I can't help you fix it

if you can't let it go.

♪♪

One of the things

that is going to be important

to your recovery is

for you to be able to sleep.

It's gonna be important

for you to be

able to control your thoughts

so they're not just

running wild and free.

No, I try I try to shut it

off. I try to shift it.

I watch a lot of television.

♪♪

[Voice breaking] Or I cook.

[Chuckles]

But these are distractions,

right?

So, when you're left

alone with your thoughts,

you're not in control

of what you think?

Mnh-mnh.

Have you ever been?

Yes. Yes.

Did it change

after her passing?

No.

When did it change?

It sort of started

when my wasband passed.

Okay.

And when I did grieve

for him,

I was almost,

like, punished for it.

Mm.

You know what I mean? So

Punished by who?

Von. My husband.

So, he was uncomfortable

watching

you go through the grieving?Yes.

At first, he was like,

"I'm not gonna sit around

while you grieve another dude."

I'm like, "I'm not grieving

another dude in that sense.

I'm grieving the person

who took care of my children.Mm.

I'm grieving the person who was

in my life for over 16 years."

And you don't just say,

"Oh, okay.

Well, the person's gone,"

and move on with your life.

That's not how it happens.

It doesn't work like that.

Yeah.

And then

after he finally understood,

saw and realized

that I loved him for real

and I loved him on purpose and

I chose him, truly and in fact,

then everything changed.

Okay.Yeah. It was an about-face.

Okay. What did you notice with

your thoughts once he passed?

Mmhe used to visit me

in my sleep.

Not like weird stuff.

It's more of a visit

like we have right nowMm-hmm.

where you sit

and talk to people.

And sometimes, sometimes,

Traci does, in a positive way.

Okay.

♪♪

Mm. Have you ever decided,

"I don't want anybody,

including her, to visit me

in my sleep so I can rest"?

Or didn't

Yes, absolutely.

Mm.

Seeing Traci sometimes

adds to my grief

and sometimes it takes away

from it, too,

because sometimes it's

a replay of some of the things

that we've done as sisters

while we were growing up

and I never want to forget

a lot of those times.

But I do want to still be

able to live my life

in a more comprehensive way

without having to lean

on that grief

to feel like I'm still holding

on to that person.

What do you see

when you close your eyes?

[Sighs]

When I close my eyes

I see her being ill.

When I close my eyes

[Sighs] I see

the color leaving her body.

What does it do to you?

♪♪

It

It makes me sad, it makes me

emotional, it makes me fearful.

♪♪

Fearful that?

Fearful of the fact

that we did not talking

about my my sisters and I

that we did not really

embrace each other the way

we could have

and should have in our lives

and it makes me think,

"Okay, well,

who's next

and what's gonna happen?"

It just makes me wonder, like,

"Are we gonna fall

further apart?"

Like, what's gonna happen,

because it's not

like we came together?

'Cause, as a matter of fact,

we never really had

a real sit-down conversation

like we did the night

that you came to see us

and we hadn't done it

in the two whole years

that she's been gone.

Mm.

[Voice breaking] Yeah.

Our grief therapy session has

really opened up a lot of wounds

and we still really didn't work

through anything as a family

and I don't know if

we'll get an opportunity again.

That's what I worry

about the most.

What do we need to do about

that in order to help you?

♪♪

I don't know.

♪♪

[Cellphone buzzes]

♪♪

Towanda: Who?

♪♪

Trina: Von?!

♪♪

Are you all packed up?

I've got it laid out.

Okay. I'm

I'm probably overpacking.

Oh, you're definitely

overpacking.

Well, it's 'cause I'm I'm

nervous and happy at the time.

Okay.'Cause I'm excited to see Dad.

Yeah.

And Mikey.

It's gonna be fun.

And Little Kevin.

But when we just lay eyes

on him, I'll feel better.

The fact that nobody

has heard from Little Kevin

for several days

is really freaking us out.

So Towanda; her boyfriend,

Sean; and Von and I,

we're headed to D.C.

and we're just gonna

track him down

and then report back

to everyone else,

so they'll know how he's doing.

You like these pants?

Not particularly.They're your favorite color.

They're my favorite color.

I don't know.

♪♪

See? That's what you do

all the time.

You deflect.

I'm excited to see

where Little Kevin is.

Okay. Well, see, you've

been dodging a conversation.And how he's doing.

You had a session,

and when you came back from it,

you were a little off

to yourself.

What happened during that?

Well, I had to

I don't need details,

but did someI understand that.

But did something

happen that made youBut I had to

No, no, no.

But I had to compartmentalize

a lot of things,

'cause she said a lot.

We talked We talked about

my grief with my sister Traci.

Yeah, good.

♪♪

It's a huge progress for me

to start individual counseling,

but that doesn't mean that I'm

ready to talk about my grief

outside of therapy sessions.

Just Just not yet.

You know what I mean?

It's just too draining for me.

But I've also been

really quiet lately,

because my sisters shared a lot

last week and it's been a lot

to process and I used to be

able to pick up the phone

and call my sisters

about our stuff,

but right now, there are still

some sensitivities

that we're just all

dealing with.

The thing is, last week,

at our family dinner,

Toni divulged

how deeply her illness

and how her body truly feels.

It's, like, crazy anxiety.

It's like

[Sniffles]

This is really bad stuff,

so I'm scared.

Like, you know, if I have a

heart attack, I won't survive.

[Crying] And I can't even handle

that feeling.

For the first time in

my life, she was very vulnerable

and she was afraid.

She, like, broke down.

Broke down.

I have you

for pillow talk.

I can have that open dialogue

with you.

Toni is still single.

She's unmarried.

She's got to feel by herself

and alone,

because she's never expressed

something like that,

especially about her health,

so out loud.

So,

if she's anything like you,

if she gets to the point to

where she does divulge,

it's probably

fairly serious then, right?

Yes.

And so, I think that she

should talk to somebody, too.

I agree.

We'll have plenty of time

to talk about this.

Let's get you packed,

let's get me packed.

Well, I will say this

Maybe we need to do something

that's fun

for, like, just us.

Like, me and you

and Towanda and Sean.

That's cool. All right.

Yeah. So, it's like

You don't have to

Don't close that because,

invariably, you're gonna

come back

and there'll be three things

you want to put in there.

So, just leave it here and

I'll close it before we leave.

Can I at least close it

and not zip it?

Sure, babe,

if it makes you feel better.

Thanks. I mean, it's just

more room on the floor, though.

Yeah, if it makes you feel

There you go.

[Breathes deeply]

That's not fair.

Did you help me pack? No.

♪♪

Yeah, I want the money

and the fame ♪

But I can't have it all

without you, babe ♪

Yeah, I want the diamonds

and the ring ♪

But tell me what it's worth

without my babe ♪

I want, want, want

what I want ♪

All right, Miss Wanda,

you all set.

Thank you. Yeah.

Thank you so much, as always.

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah, you're all set.

Yes. Thank you.

I'll see you next week.

All right.

All right, no problem.

Towanda: Even though that my

plate is completely full getting

my doctorate in humanitarianism,

Sean and I are just

in an amazing space.

I mean, we're living together,

we're co-parenting

with Braxton and Brooke.

You know,

I'm just happily happy.

Especially

since I always make the time

to pick up Braxton and Brooke

almost every single day,

because I love being a mom and

I love spending time with them

and I love hugging

and kissing on them,

even though they don't want

me to hug

and kiss on them anymore

because they're teenagers.

They have their own lives

and they just look at me

as a provider.

A person who's just supposed

to feed them,

house them, and make sure

I give them money,

and that's it.

♪♪

[Line ringing]

Man:

The person you have dialed

is not able to receive

calls at this time.

[Beep]

Wow! Try it again.

Calling Scratchy.

The person you have dialed

is not able to receive

calls at this time.

[Beep]

[Scoffs]

Tomorrow morning,

Trina and I are off to D.C.

and we're going there

to track down Little Kevin,

because his phone has gone

straight to voicemail

and he's never taken

more than two days

to call me or Trina back.

So, knowing that he has

serious health issues right now,

seizures since his mom passed,

so we need to hop on a plane

and get to D.C.

and just figure

out what's going on.

Towanda: Hi, guys.

What's going on, Mom?Hello.

How was school?It was good.

It It was all right.

Good school?

Just all right, bud?

Yeah. Just all right.

I'm going to go visit

your cousin Scratchy.

Little Kevin.Scratchy?

Where Where did that nickname

come from?

I've always called him Scratchy

since birth,

because his voice was

always scratchy.

Oh.Yeah.

Me and Aunt Trina's

gonna go check on Pop-Pop

and Uncle Mikey and

And we can't go with?No, you have school.

Aw.

It feels like

It's, like, a family thing.

Like, it's personal.I wish you could.

Oh!How about this?

Let's see what's happening

with your homework

and you're about to have

midterms.

We've already took it.You took midterms already?

Okay. Well

Hmm. We'll see.

Let me think about it.

See? No.

I just said

I'm gonna think about it.

No.

I didn't

No. No.What?

I just said I would think

No.

No, Mom.

No, Mom.Let's talk about it later.

Let's put it on the shelf.

You know, my kids'

hearts are in the right place

to be there for their cousin.

♪♪

Let's go through the front.

-Okay.

Towanda:

But without hearing from Kevin,

I have no idea

what kind of situation he's in.

♪♪

Man: Awesome.

Copy that.

[Cellphone buzzes]

♪♪

Who?

I just tried calling him.

Producer: I know, though.

I'm gonna put you on speaker

with your auntie.

I just tried calling you.

Are you serious?

Kevin Jr.: They had my phone

when I when I got locked up

and I know I had my phone

because I gave it to 'em.

What the heck?

So, you need a phone.So

I need a phone.

You know

we figure everything out.

You know how we do.

But me and Aunt Trina

are gonna come see you,

for sure, and maybe once we do

that, we can figure it all out.

Okay.Text me, baby. I love you.

I love you, too.

Okay. Bye.

Finally, I got to hear

Scratchy's voice, and Oji,

who just happens to be

the showrunner of our show,

he tracked him down

by going through Daddy,

because we've all been

concerned about him

and it still kinda concerns me

that he was radio silent for so

long after getting out of jail

and we just need to let him know

ASAP that we are here for him

and he doesn't have

to go through this alone.

Just like family.

That's what we do.

We show up for one another.

Especially since Traci's

not here anymore.

Okay. Gotta go find my luggage.

Man: That's a wrap.

♪♪

Toni, I have to ask

"The Braxtons'" cameras

are here. Why the decision

to return to the show?

Oh

Are we gonna hear wedding bells

any time soon?

♪♪

You mother was absolutely lucid

who she wanted to control

her image,

brand, and likeness.

I think y'all maybe

should talk to his dad.

Woman: Are youwilling to?

Yeah.

Woman: Production wanted

Little Kevin

to film with his dad.

Don't push me.