01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

I need two officers
to infiltrate

a g*ng dealing drugs
on Brightmarsh Estate.

No, please don't sh**t my hand, I
play keys in a church band. Shut up!

This mission, it doesn't exist.

No, you, man ain't cut
out for this game, innit?

I need you to bury this body.

THEY SCREAM

Clinton told me he only
ever dated black women.

Right. That is a white lady.

Don't be late, don't be short.

Can't wait to get the
hell out of this mess.

This is the person that
Clinton was working with.

I think this is the person
that we've been looking for!

PHONE BUZZES

That's not my phone.

That's Clinton's phone.

Please be here, please be here.

It's here! Hold up. OK.

SHE GAGS

HE SPLUTTERS

OK. All right.

Breathe. "Good to hear
from you." What do we say?

I don't know, just start typing.

Type what? I don't
know, but quickly!

It's a bit suspicious if
it takes too long. OK.

OK, I've got it.

Seriously? You've just typed your
own name over and over again.

I don't know. I mean,
it's so much pressure!

"Sorry I was out of contact."

Send.

SHE SIGHS

PHONE CHIMES

"Meet me, usual place."

What's... the usual place?

Tell her, "I'm a bit
bored of the usual place.

"How about a cheeky KFC in
Clacton?" Yeah, that's good.

And I could m*rder a
zinger, so... No, no, no.

She'll know it's not him.

"I've got vouchers,
I need to use them."

OK. We need something else.

What are you doing?

I am looking through Clinton's
old texts, AKA police work,

you might have heard of it.
OK, that's uncalled for,

all right? OK.

"Just got in. See you in 20."

So it's 20 minutes away
from Clinton's home.

sh*t, I'm good!

OK, a place 20 minutes
from his house in London

doesn't really narrow the field.

OK, "Order me a banoffee
cronut and a flat white."

It's a caff! Giuseppe's on
Mayor St, where he first met us!

As per my previous comments,
sh*t, I'm good! Say it!

Shiitake mushrooms, you're good!
Yeah, that'll do, let's go.

Pick up the pace
or we'll miss her!

Talk about G*ntrification.

Who would have thought Giuseppe's
would be doing that flat white?

So what you call it - banoffee
cronuts? Yeah, bloody hipsters.

What's up? Quick, Google
"banoffee cronuts" near me. OK.

The East is East Cafe
and Sourdough Bakery.

Home of the banoffee
cronut. sh*t, it's this one.

It's a half an hour walk.

We've got to meet Kirsty in ten.

Run! That way. Back the way we
came, back the way we came! OK.

You've got longer legs than me!

THEY YELL

Move! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

THEY GASP

Kirsty... Kirst...

Hey, Kirsty! Oh, sorry.

I'll just...

Oh! HE SPLUTTERS

Hi! Ooh!

Do you mind if I just...?

Oh, OK, that's a
good shout, actually.

Sorry...

Mm, mm...

Hey!

SHE COUGHS

I realise you were
expecting Clinton Blair.

We were working with
him, you know...

..on the mission.

I need to sit down.

So, Clinton Blair is dead.

Clinton's dead? Yeah.

So we're just, like, on
our own in this thing now.

Yeah, really sad about Clinton.
I mean, bloody great guy.

But we're on our own in this thing
now, and we want our lives back!

All right. OK.

So you work with him, yeah?

And I'm not quite sure who you
think I am, but, you know Clinton

and I, we just went
on, like, a few dates?

Oh, you can level with us,

you know, we're his
undercover guys.

Should we be saying
that we're undercover?

Oh, we're his guys
round the way.

I've no idea who you are.

Oh. OK. You do the thing...

Listen, lady, you've
got responsibilities,

so I'm going to need you
to do whatever it is you do

and get us out of this mess.

It's like I said, Clinton, me,
we just went on a few dates.

Dom... could you...? One sec.

Maybe she just went on
a few dates with him.

All right, lady, we know
what's happening here,

and you're going to have to
work with us or we'll talk...

..to the press!

And what exactly are you
going to say to them?

Well, it's drug dealing
on the Brightmarsh Estate.

So there's drugs,
and then police,

and then there's Clinton, dead.

OK. No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.

So you've watched the
Line of Duty, yeah? Yeah.

There's a Northern Irish
one. That's you. Yeah?

I don't know what that is.

Like I said, Clinton
and I, we just,

we went on a few dates.

I'm so sorry.

But, you know, good luck.

Kirsty...? Kirst...?

Ki... Ki...?

Ki... Ki...?

So obviously we
don't know enough.

You know, this is the big
league. She's obviously not going

to help us unless
we have leverage,

so we need to find out what's going
on and prove it and then be like,

"Bam, b*tch, there's
your leverage,

"help us out or read about
it in the Daily Mail."

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

Maybe perhaps worth keeping
on the table that she...

..she's just a lady who went
on a few dates with him.

No, OK? She's a cop!
Of course she's a cop!

I mean, how come she wasn't

so devastated to hear
that Clinton was dead?

She got over the news like that!

I don't use these dating apps.

We talk about them in
prayer group and I know

they desensitise people.

"Oh, no, my lover is dead! Oh,
I know, I'll just get my phone

"and I'll find a replacement by
swiping left, right, up and down."

So, then, how come she was
so keen to know what we knew?

Ladies like gossip.

Watch me and you, yeah?

She's a cop. I know she's a cop.

She's... definitely a cop.

They're waiting for you,
ma'am, when you're ready.

HUBBUB

Good morning. I'll be reading

a short statement in response
to this morning's reports

and there'll be no questions.

The body discovered on Walthamstow
Marshes on Sunday morning was,

as you know, a serving officer,

Detective Inspector
Clinton Blair.

I can confirm this morning

that the DI had been the subject
of an internal investigation

at the time of his death by
the anti-corruption unit.

REPORTERS CLAMOUR

As this is an ongoing inquiry,
we cannot disclose any further

information at this time.

There'll be no further comment
until the case is concluded.

Thank you.

Brilliant, ma'am, as ever.

Not now, Dolan!

SHE RETCHES

Edwards is involved somehow, OK?

Maybe the g*ng are
paying her off.

Need evidence.

It's Tevin. What? It's Tevin.

For the love of
actual flippin'...

Hey, Tevin, it's
always a pleasure.

Thank you.

We can do the Sudoku on our lunch.
That's very thoughtful of you.

Read it.

We knew this day would come.

Keep your heads.

At least to understand
something here.

No-one's getting
nabbed for this.

So don't go flapping.

I don't flap, I'm not a flapper.

If anything, he's the one who flaps.
Guilty, I flap. See? He flaps.

Flap, flap, flap away.

Did you know this
guy on your PCSOs?

Yeah. No.

Which one is it - yes or no?

Yes, we did know of him.

No, we did not
"know him" know him.

Yeah. We didn't go for a
drink with him after work

or anything like that. Nah!

I mean, I don't even drink. I
might have the occasional shandy

on a bank holiday, but that's about
it. That's all I drink, shandy.

Be cool. Keep your heads.

I'll keep it, I'll keep
it, like, in a box,

and it'll just be kept
there, like my head in a box.

Are you done? Yeah.

Thank you, Tevin. I
love your tank top.

Essentially, I think
we got away with that.

What does he mean, "No-one's
getting nabbed for this"?

Well, because it's Tevin,
and he doesn't believe

that actions have consequences.

Maybe cos Edwards
is on the payroll.

Erm, Dom...

Photo fit? No.

No, no, no.

I think that's... fine.

Yeah, that's not us.

Anyway, we've got to find out
what's going on with Edwards.

OK, how are we going to do that?

We're going to break
into her office.

Dom, no! I am a PCSO, OK?

I confiscate alcohol
from teenagers.

I write postcodes on
bike frames with UV pen.

I do not break into
police stations!

We need to find out
what's going on,

or we're going to be stuck here
on street corners, selling drugs

to randoms and taking
orders from that guy

for our short, brutalised lives!

We are breaking in!

How do we even get in?

HE GRUNTS

I normally do 15 of them, but
it's my second circuit, so...

Yeah, I just... I
wanted to apologise,

you know, if I was a bit weird
in the caff the other day.

Just not been myself,
I'm just so stressed.

Basically, HR have been
arseholes about giving me my P45.

HE GRUNTS

I wish I could just go in
there and get it, but...

..guess I can't.

Hey, here's an idea,

totally at random!

I mean, are you still
the fire marshal?

No, no. They've
found someone who's

more on top of the fire
regulations than me.

HE CHUCKLES

Yes, I'm still the fire marshal.

Right. Why don't you set off

the fire alarm and then I
can go in and get my P45?

Let me stop you there. There's

a number of problems
with that statement.

One, misuse of a fire alarm
is a crime, as defined...

All right, don't worry
about it. Forget it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
I'm not saying I won't do it,

I'm just saying it'll be my,
you know, c*ck on the block.

Well, that's an image. Thanks.

"What's in it for me," you know?

What?

Well, I'm going indoor rock
climbing tonight. You ever done it?

Can't say that I have, no.

I always say it's a
bit like making love.

It's great on your own, even
better with someone else.

Huh? Oh. Oh, eurgh.

I'd love to go indoor rock
climbing with you, Pricey...

Yeah? Great!

OK, well, see you at 2.30
for this fire drill, then.

HE GRUNTS

The fastest I've
ever run this drill

was four minutes and 13 seconds.

The slowest is seven
minutes, 40 seconds.

That's because Lianne in Forensics'
waters broke. Not my fault.

I will not go slower than five
minutes. Can't you just push it

this once, though, for us?

No, Dom, these stats are plotted

on a graph that's shared
nationally, so... What's this?

Tabard, AKA cloak of
invisibility. Wear it.

Once I've done a head count,
I will blow this whistle,

letting everyone know
they can come back inside.

Listen for this whistle. That's your
cue to get the hell out of here,

all right? OK. Let's do this.
OK. What, as in right now?

Yes. Now?

Quite a lot of activity
on our social media

about the photo fit, ma'am.

Right, good. No, not so much.

A number of people saying it looks
quite a bit like the musicians

Missy Elliott and Tupac Shakur.

Right, well, have
you brought them in?

They're American, ma'am.

And the latter's been
dead for some decades.

Maybe pull the photo fit?

ALARM SOUNDS

SHE SIGHS

Oh, Christ. Today of
all days. Come on.

Please muster in the
lower forecourt area.

This is a drill. Thank you.
Maybe it's not a drill.

Maybe this is a very
important situation.

We're in her office. We're in
the superintendent's office.

We've broken into the
superintendent's office.

Just get on with it!

What are you doing?
Taking pictures.

No, of evidence! Of
things that could connect

us to the Brightmarsh
g*ng, not Nik Naks!

But we don't know what is
and what isn't evidence!

I mean, this could be evidence!

Or this could be evidence.

You know, a diary with numbers
and dates and sh*t, all right?

OK, hold up. Don't
take pictures of this!

I'm taking pictures of this, you
take pictures of something else,

but not of Nik Naks, and
stop picking up sh*t.

You don't know how it goes back!

I do, because I took
pictures of them!

OK, everybody back inside.
Come on, we've got work to do.

Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry.

Go on! Sh!

sh*t! My God, you idiot!

Don't spread it around,
don't spread it around.

I will k*ll you where you stand!

Right, if I touch you on the
shoulder, congratulations,

that means you just died
of smoke inhalation.

You're dead. Dead.

Meet me in the canteen. I
just need to grab a file.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, God! Oh!

Hello, madam!

Sorry! I don't know
who made this mess.

I'm just coming
back with a broom.

This sounds like a job
for carpet cleaner!

Told you, cloak of invisibility.

Hello, sir.

Oh, hello, madam, any
charge, any charge? Dead.

Nailed it!

Hey, look at this. Emma's
diary says, "6pm today, CH."

What does "CH" stand for?

Criminal hijinks?

Yeah. Or this one straight
after just says, "Park bench."

Who the hell writes "Park
bench" in their diary?

Shifty meetings always
happen on park benches.

Oh, my God, you are so right.

What if she's meeting
a g*ng contact

with, like, a brown envelope
stuffed full of money?

After work, we are
following Edwards.

Team Day on the case.

I'm sorry, what?

Day - Dom and Kay.

Nah, we're not doing that.

OK, Team Kom?

Ah, no... I'm going to
have to pray for you.

Right, I've got binoculars, I've
got crisps, I have a flask of hot

chocolate and I have
mini marshmallows.

Hey, this is a stakeout, it's not a
sleepover for your tenth birthday.

OK, so shall I leave
the snacks, then?

No, you've brought
them now, so...

I see you've got
banoffee cronuts there.

You didn't mention
those, did you?

That could have been really bad!

You could have totally messed
up... Oh, get in the car!

Look, she's coming out.
Oh. She's coming out.

Argh!

Damn it!

She's turning.

That must be what
"CH" stands for.

I'm all right, thanks, over
here. Yeah, she's all right.

She's got out the car,

she's talking to some
of the residents.

Feel much better for
seeing your daughter, eh?

Oh, it's her mum!

Yes, Columbo.

So where were we? Bathrooms

I will get gold fixtures, but not,
like, tacky gold, like, mid-century

sh*t to offset the pink
tiles, but not, like, pink

like, dusky salmon with a
hint of thin gold grout.

What about you?

I don't know. It'd be, like,

probably a nice semi,
one that you can hoover

in an afternoon, preferably
next to a bus stop.

This is your dream house, Kay!

Yeah, I know.

Keep reaching for that rainbow.

Oh, she's heading over.

She's getting back in the car,
she's getting back in the car!

sh*t, she's parking! OK, go in
front of her, go in front of her.

She's going to see you,
She's going to see you!

Oh, my God! My goodness!

OK, I'm parking up here,
I'm going to park here.

I'm going to just park here.

Well done for going in
front. Just be cool.

You know, not suspicious at all.

That's brilliant.

Oh, she's coming out of her car.

She's coming towards us.
She's coming towards us.

Oh, sh*t! She's
coming towards us.

Stop talking and
narrating the whole thing!

Shut up. sh*t!

Are you aware you've
got a brake light out?

Erm, no, I was not
aware, Officer.

Sorry. Right, well, it's ill*gal
to drive without both brake lights.

You need to get that corrected at
the earliest opportunity, right?

Mm-hm. OK, yep. Right,
I will do that right

before I go home
to my scratcher.

Yeah, och, aye! Just
making noises! I'm sorry.

Bloody Julie, not checking the brake
lights? She knows that drives them

mad in this thing!

PHONE BEEPS Oh, God! OK.

Oh, my God, I'm supposed to
meet Pricey for indoor climbing.

He's just going to have
to wait an hour or two.

That's pretty standard, right?
I mean, who the hell sends

a calendar invite to a date, anyway?
Someone who holds it against you

if you're two hours late?
Right, you're going to have

to deal with this on your
own. All right, what do I do?

Just, you know, take pictures
of whoever she meets,

and try and listen to what they
say, but stay out of sight.

OK. All right. I won't let
you down, Dom, I won't do it.

It's not possible. OK?

Enjoy your date. It's not
a date, I won't enjoy it.

Get out! Quicker!

You do look nice.

Thank you. God!
Stay out of sight!

Ali! Come on, Ali, reach for it!

You're never going
to get that tomorrow.

Oh! Hey, Pricey, sorry
I'm a little late.

Hello?

There'll be no
climbing today, Dom.

Or scaling, or grappling.

Oh, why?

I need you to
explain this to me.

Oh. LAUGHS: Well, that is clearly a
picture of Missy Elliott and Tupac.

That's what that is.

I think it's a picture
of you and Kay, Dom.

What? No!

OK. That's... no! if you think
this is a picture of me and Kay,

then that's offensive.

Oh, yeah? Well, how many other
people were wandering around

Walthamstow Marshes last Saturday
night dressed in a onesie

covered in spaceships?
Spaceships are popular now.

I'm going to ask you a
straight question, Dom.

Did you m*rder, or were
you involved in the m*rder

of DI Clinton Blair? No!

Come on, how long have
we worked together?

Do you seriously think I
could do something like that?

Well, I wouldn't blame you
if you did. The guy was bent.

Bringing the force
into disrepute.

He had it coming. What
do you mean, "Bent"?

It was all over the station,
he was bent as a £9 note.

They'd been investigating
him for months.

Who? The police.
He's up to all sorts.

Stealing drugs from evidence,
extortion, money laundering.

Rumour is he got bumped
off by a g*ng cos he tried

to take them over.

Here's the thing. This
mission, it doesn't exist.

You all right, Dom? Yeah.

I got... I got to go.

Dom? Dom?

What happened at the park
bench, who did she meet?

Yeah, so the park
bench just turned

out to be a ceremony
about a park bench.

APPLAUSE Right.

Well, he was bent. Who?

Clinton. Pricey just told me
he was trying to take over

the Brightmarsh g*ng. The police had
been investigating him for months.

What? That's why he wanted
us to infiltrate them,

because he was trying to take
them over. It wasn't for some

investigation, he was using us.

What about the dossier? Why
was he hiding it in his house?

He was hiding evidence.
He didn't want the g*ng

he was about to take over
shut down by the police.

But why was Edwards
looking for it?

Because she's the
fricking police!

It's done!

We're done. Bye, Elder Bunmi.

What's that about the police?

No, no, no. She was just talking
about the Police. You know,

the band Police. You
know, the one with Sting?

With Sting.

TYRES SCREECH

You'll be told what you need to
know when you need to know it.

But you're clever, you're
good, you're police.

b*stard!

Where've you been? Oh,
not now, Dad, seriously.

Yes, now. Julie's been
without her car all day,

and she missed her Bikram.

Well, I mean, I was
a bit tired anyways.

Oh, my God, I left a note.

You don't leave a note, you
ask permission! It would have

been good to know when you
were going to bring it back.

Here we go. Pile-on Julie, you're
just loving this, aren't you?

You're always making a
drama of every little thing.

No wonder his heart is
failing. If he dies in surgery,

it'll probably be your fault!

Dom. Right, we've decided it's time
you stood on your own two feet.

Are you chucking me out? No,
we're not chucking you out.

You're chucking me out? Look, Dom,
we'll talk about this tomorrow.

No, never mind tomorrow.
You're chucking me out,

I'll go now. I'll leave! I'm not
staying where I'm not wanted!

Dom... And this jam is mine.

Go! Dom!

I need somewhere to stay.

You want to have
sex in my house?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, she's just a friend.

She's only staying
for a few nights.

Galatians 5:14. "For the
whole law is fulfilled

"in one word, you shall love
your neighbour as yourself."

Her grandmother is from Lagos.

She can sleep in the living
room, and no talking between

10pm and 7am.

Thank you, Ma. Thank
you. Thank you.

Dom? I made...

Listen, Breeze, we can't run any
more through the laundrettes,

we need another cash business.

This week alone,
I've done 11,000.

All right, Tevin?

We got a problem.