01x05 - Deletions and Culminations

[bunniefuu]

[person screams]

[Dominic]
I'm so glad I actually
got to be here.

[Ellie]
It was nice meeting you too.

- [Dominic] Hey, guys!
- Hi.

[waves crashing]

[Ellie]
Hey, what's up, guys?
How you doin'?

[Ellie]
Hey! How are you?

- [indistinct chatter]
- Woo!

Yeah.

Yeah.

[children playing]

[Dominic and Shirel]
Five, four, three, two!

[camera clicks]

[♪ light music playing]

- [indistinct chatter]
- [laughter]

[laughs]

- Oh, sh*t.
- Ready? Touch it.

[squeals, yells]

- [Keshawn] Tryna f*ck me up.
- This should be fine.

- [gasps, squeals]
- [laughter]

[Marley]
He was like, "Do you wanna
go on a date with me?"

And I was like,
"Oh, my God, that's so cute."

He must really like me.

Usually, I hate
when guys talk smooth,

but, like, he was cool.

I love a good dreadhead.

[♪ "jealousy, jealousy"
by Olivia Rodrigo playing]

[camera clicking]

♪ Co-co-comparison
is k*lling me slowly ♪

♪ I think, I think too much ♪

♪ 'Bout kids
who don't know me ♪

♪ I'm so sick of myself ♪

♪ I'd rather be, rather be ♪

♪ Anyone, anyone else ♪

♪ Jealousy, jealousy ♪

♪ Started followin' me ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

♪ Started followin' me ♪

[♪ vocalizing]

[♪ song stops abruptly]

[Cooper]
I'm getting college decisions
almost every day.

I have my order
queued up on my tabs.

We're gonna go Columbia,

Penn, Brown, Princeton,
Yale, Duke, Harvard.

- [Karin] Okay.
- [exhales]

Is there any reason
for that order?

I put it into an online
random shuffler...

- [Karin] I like that.
- ...37 times.

[Jonathan] Today, I hear back
from the Ivy schools.

- [Alison] Are you calling Dad?
- Yeah.

[Alison]
Okay. Oh, it's FaceTime.

- Oh!
- Alright, hello.

Do you wanna, like,
sit down for a sec

or just wanna pace
around the office?

- [Alison laughing]
- Let's start with Cornell.

[Alison]
You're gonna start
with Cornell? Okay.

Rejected from Cornell.

Rejected from Brown.

- [Karin] Okay. I know.
- I always loved that school,
but it's okay.

[Mark] [over phone]
Brown?

- [groans] Oh.
- [Mark] Unbelievable.

Rejected from Yale.

[Mark and Alison] Yeah.

[Jonathan]
Rejected from Berkeley.

- [Mark clicks tongue]
- Okay.

Didn't get into Duke.

Rejected from Harvard.

- Okay.
- [Karin] It's over.

I'm scared.

[Karin] That's okay.
Don't worry about that.

- Somebody's gonna take you.
- [crying] I know.

[Karin]
And we're gonna be there
to support you and to help you

and do whatever it takes
to get you in, okay?

[Cooper]
I know.

[♪ light, somber music playing]

[sniffles] Ugh.

- [computer notification]
- [Jonathan] Status update.

I would love to get
into Wesleyan.

- [Alison sighs]
- Waitlist.

- Waitlist!
- That's something.

Okay.
You did not get rejected.

- Woo-hoo! [clapping]
- There ya go.

[Mark] So, how many
are waitlisted total?

- Wow.
- You might set a record
for waitlists.

- [Jonathan] Yeah.
- [Alison] [laughs]
Waitlist 2022.

- Yeah.
- [Alison] I was gonna get you
a T-shirt that said that.

Yeah... That would be
really somethin'.

[dog softly whining]

[Cooper]
I didn't get into
colleges I wanted to,

but I don't wanna feel
like the last four years

were for nothing.

Early on in high school,
I was told all of the sh*t

I'm going through now

and all of the... crap that
I'm dealing with right now

will all be fine
once I get into
a certain school.

And I now look back at that.

It's, like, that's a really
messed up mentality.

We're pushing
ourselves so hard.

We're, like, not
enjoying high school.

[Marley]
Yeah, I had to go through
this thing of, like,

I equated my parents
being proud of me

with going to
a prestigious school,

instead of actually
looking at if I would like it

or how it would, like,
fit, like, a POC person.

In some ways, I wish I didn't
work as hard the last four years

because I think I could've

spent, spent more
time with friends,

and it would've been better
for my overall mental health.

[video countdown beeping]

My face started
to look like this.

- [Sherry laughing]
- Special effects.

Not just in the computer,
but in real life.

- [Sherry laughing]
- [Ivy] Ow!

- I think I need those.
- [Sherry chuckles]

I'm, um...

[phone ringing]

- [Nina] Hello?
- [over phone]
Nina, it's Dr. [bleep].

- How are you doin'?
- Hi, Dr. [bleep]!
Really well, thanks.

- I'm, yeah, really excited
for surgery tomorrow.
- [doctor] Good!

Just wanted to call,
kind of go over

- our game plan one more time.
- Yeah.

[doctor]
Um, yeah, so we are gonna

start off with
the trachea shave.

So, we'll round out
sides of the hairlines,

bring all of that forward,
bring that frontal bar

kind of that area
between the brows back.

- Mm-hmm.
- Narrow the bridge of the nose

and then, narrow the tip
of the nose a little bit.

- Does that make sense?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, that all sounds
really great.

- Is that it?
Is that the end?
- That's it.

Okay, that one.

[Ivy]
No, you won't like it.

[in video] Um...

[laughs]

No more. Alright...

I didn't want you doing that
to your gorgeous skin

and your gorgeous body--

I don't regret it at all.

I love everything that
I have put on my body

and I know that
you don't like it,

but you don't need to make
that known all the time.

You just have to be careful
about permanent choices
that we make and...

- I think our body
is our temple and...
- [Ivy] [whispers] Okay.

[softly]
Don't do that to me, please.

Ugh. Okay, here. Go ahead.
Let me just sit over here.

I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be rude.

[Sherry] No, if you're
gonna be doing that,

I'm not gonna sh**t this.

- Okay, fine. I won't--
- [Sherry] The f*ck?!

- I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to upset you.
- [Sherry] Goddamnit!

[♪ light, tense music playing]

[doctor] [over phone]
I am super excited
for tomorrow.

You are gonna have
such great results.

I will see you
bright and early.

- Alright, bye, Dr. [bleep].
- Bye.

Ahh.

[♪ light, somber music playing]

[crying]

♪

[crying]

[♪ music fades out]

[dog barking]

[Ellie] Sooo, we're hangin'
out tomorrow or nah?

Yeah, most def.

"Most def"?
Like, forreal-forreal?

I like to plan ahead.
It gives me something
to look forward to.

I really enjoyed being
in Bodhi's, like, little world

and, like, the feeling of, like,
being close to him all the time.

But our relationship
didn't necessarily get
better after the tattoo.

It was just a Band-Aid.
You know, there was

so much stuff
we still have to process

and actually work through.

[♪ light music playing]

I have pictures posted
of us on my feed.

But, like, Bodhi,
he never ever posts
about me, like, ever.

I had his password

and, one day,
I looked on his phone.

Bodhi was on
Omegle and Tinder

talking to these,
like, random girls.

It really hurt me, like,
seeing, um, him, like,
talk to other people,

or just, like, you know,

engage in things that, like,
would hurt my feelings,

or-- where he wouldn't
think about me.

Social media
f*ck with you so bad.

Like, last night
when I was scrolling,

the whole time
I'm literally, like, looking
at these gorgeous girls

that, like, grew up
in the Palisades

and, literally, checking
to see if, like,

Bodhi followed them
or, like, if he liked any--

Like, I need to stop
doing this to myself.

[♪ music fades out]

- [birds chirping]
- [baby babbling]

[family member 1]
Go wake your daddy up.

[indistinct chatter]

Is Keshawn still asleep?

[phone notifications]

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Keshawn] I'm talkin'
to a lot of females.

♪

[seagulls cawing]

[laughs]

[Marley] Yeah,
he asked me on a date.

...press about it,
like, I know it. But, like--

- No.
- [phone ringing]

Hold on, let me take
this call, hold on.
Hello?

Yeah, what's up?

Yeah.

What you talkin' 'bout?

What?

[♪ "Anxiety" by
Kdgetuchies playing]

[baby crying]

[indistinct chatter, laughter]

[♪ "TWINNEM" by Coi Leray
playing in video]

♪ No new friends ♪

- [♪ song fades out]
- [♪ solemn music playing]

[Sydney]
Our friend group, like,
I'm sure, like, from afar,

it seems like we
were, like, perfect.

Like, people would come up
to us and be like,

"Wow, you have such
an amazing friend group.

Like, you guys are so lucky
to have each other."

But, like, they don't
know, like, kinda the--
all the insides.

There was one night
we were all hanging out

and my roommate,
Aimee, wasn't there.

We had been drinking a lot
and Braden and I kissed.

That's Aimee's boyfriend.

♪

I was aware
of what I was doing,

but it's not a decision
I would make sober.

The night before, like,
I told her, I was, like,

on the floor, like, crying

because I was like,
"That's it."

Like... this friendship,
like, it's over.

Like, I ruined it.
And I ruined, like, so much.

- [♪ tense music playing]
- [phone notifications]

I felt terrible.

♪

After that,
the whole group
kinda broke up.

[phone dings]

Then I get a random text
from, like, a random number.

Immediately,
my heart sank.

I was like, "Oh, my God.
Not this again."

♪

It basically brought
all the sl*t-shaming,

cyberbullying back
from high school.

So, I'm transferring
out of Arizona.

I literally have not been
in, like, a lower point...

um, maybe ever.

[in video on computer]
It took a lot to, like,
open up to people,

and now,
I'm talking to you about it.

I was terrified about talking
to my parents about...

[Jonathan]
As I work on my film,
I often wonder

what my goal is,
what my thesis is,

what is the story
I'm trying to tell.

[Cooper chuckles]

It's hard to sort of
narrow it down

to one main idea
because it's so complex.

I was alone
dealing with

pretty big emotions
I had never felt before.

[Anthony]
With Sofia, I knew off the bat
she was tellin' the truth.

I had to do what I had to do.
I had to expose him.

But posting about it,

it feel like you're doing
something about it.

[Jonathan]
For some, social media can
come in the form of advocacy

and vigilantism, as seen
with Cooper and Anthony,

but also, it can come
with cyberbullying,

and loneliness, and hate.

"You're ugly,
you're unattractive,

"you're never
gonna find someone
because of your weight,

"that you're dirty,
that you're a mutt,
that you don't have a race,

that you don't
belong anywhere."

I do struggle actively
with suicidal ideation,

so... to keep... living,

I need to filter it out.

[Jonathan]
What do we do about that?

It's almost an understatement
to say that social media

can contribute
to mental health crisis.

It's such a significant player
in so many people's issues.

But I feel like it's only
just getting worse.

As technology's spreading,
and, like, in our 30s,

are we all gonna be,
like, really depressed?

Like, what do we do?

I just wanna know
from you guys,

do your parents understand
what you're going through?

Do you go to your parents?

- No, never.
- [all saying "no"]

[Jonathan]
I've struggled with anxiety
and depression myself.

I've always been someone
who's just sort of kept

my emotions
and everything private.

I think it's hard sometimes

for parents or adults
to understand what
we're going through

even though they
can care and they can try
to empathize with you,

they've never been
in those same shoes.

[shouts]
Support the suicide prevention
walk in Santa Monica!

[Jonathan]
So, I wanted to talk
to a parent

who understood the problem
from experience.

I lost my son.
Yes, yes.

[shouts] Come join us
at Walk to Prevent Suicide!

Mental health awareness!

We all got mental health.

Come join us!
Bring your teen!

Would you like to join
our Santa Monica Walk

to fight suicide?
Thank you.

I don't mind how many people
say, "No, thank you,"

'cause I'm not stopping.

Especially as a parent
'cause I think that's where

some of the suicide prevention
resources are lacking.

Not because they don't care,
but because they don't know.

How to delete
all [chuckles] photos

off of Facebook.

This is a Christmas picture
of the four of us.

They were always, like,
really miserable experiences

because my mom
wanted us to, like, be
this picture-perfect family.

"To an incredible
young man, my son,
Happy Valentine's Day."

I guess my mom sent
this card for me.

"Guess I won't be using
this anytime soon.
Thanks, Sherry."

[♪ light music playing]

"Deactivation and deletion."
Oof. "I'm transitioning."

[chuckles]

[inhales]
Holy f*cking sh*t,
I just did that.

Like, my Facebook is gone.

All my old...
memories, photos,

old connections, dialogues,
like, all of that is gone.

Sad. [soft chuckle] Yeah.

[♪ light, somber music playing]

[closes laptop]

[♪ bright music playing]

♪

[camera clicks]

[Nina]
Morning.

[Nina] Mm-hmm.

♪

[Vito] You got it.

[indistinct chatter]

- [phone dings]
- [♪ music fades out]

[birds chirping, cawing]

[Jack] Alright, uh,
we just gonna start it.

What's good?
It's the second Loonar Podcast.

- We're here
with the BikBak team.
- The BikBak crew.

Yeah, alright, so,
I mean, start it off.

Tell us, uh, what is,
uh, the BikBak group.

Yeah, so, basically,
we wanted to kinda
create an app

for young people
to be themselves

and there really wasn't
a place for them to do that.

- [Jack] Mm.
- So, we kinda created

a set of, like, really,
really innovative features

that allows them
to be themselves.

And we've been generating
a lotta hype in LA,

and now we're
really ready to go

and scale this
to the next level.

Dang, wow.
And how do you guys
all know each other?

Like, what brought
you guys together?

- We met in a smoke shop.
- [laughter]

- [guest] Sweet.
- [♪ upbeat music playing]

[camera clicks]

[Jack]
I started as a rookie.

Now, I kind of have it
down to an algorithm.

I created a clothing brand,
a podcast, a TikTok.

I throw parties
and the profit margins
are crazy.

I just bought myself
a pretty pricey car.

About $50,000.

I'ma try to do
a few more proms

'cause it's really good money.

You can make up
to, like, $40,000

off one big after-prom.

We did a presale for tonight.

We sold $17,000
worth of tickets.

And that was with tickets
being at $55.

And then, the younger kids,

like, the kids that
shouldn't be there,

we'll charge them more.

Otherwise, they can't get in.

[Matt laughing]

[Matt] Sounded like part
of the mob... [laughing]

where he charges
the younger kids more,

otherwise,
they can't get in.

[Cooper] [screams]
Oh, my God!

Holy sh*t! Um, I was
just in the nail salon.

- [phone dings]
- I see a text on my phone
and it says,

"There is an update about
your Vanderbilt application."

And I open it and it's like,
"We would like to offer you

a spot in
the Class of 2026."

I got a merit scholarship!

[screaming]

I can't believe-- I-- Ah!
I can't believe it!

[♪ "Love You So"
by The King Khan
& BBQ Show playing]

[AI voice]
Which dress should
I wear to prom?

- [♪ song stops]
- K, I'm gonna look up,
like, prom transition.

- [Ivy] Okay.
- [Maren] This is the one
that you wanted to do?

[voice] [on TikTok]
Can't get fooled again.

♪ Fool me one time,
shame on you ♪

No, that's too long.

[♪ "After The Storm"
by Kali Uchis playing]

- Should we do this one?
- [Ivy] Yeah.

[Maren] K, hold on.
Should we start now?

- [video countdown beeps]
- [Ivy laughs]

[♪ "Do You Remember"
by Pierre Terrasse
et La Griffe playing]

Okay, that's fine. Is it gold?

♪

[Cooper] I am excited.
I'm getting my hair done.

I'm getting my makeup done.

- [friend 1] Wow!
- [friend 2] What
a beautiful color!

[Maren]
Face makeup. Hair. Eye makeup.
That's what my plan is.

- Isn't it perfect?
- It's perfect.

[Cooper]
I only get one prom.

I wanna feel like
I did it right.

Ooh!

- Pfft! Where the f*ck
did you hear that?
- The smell. I heard that.

I forget where,
I think on TikTok.

[indistinct chatter]

[Cooper]
Start spinning.

[both giggling]

[Sofia]
Spray it a lot.

I lost all my friends.

They were all still
partying with him,

knowing, like, what he did.

But my boyfriend
stood by my side.

Bye, Santi.
Take care of my baby.

[Santi]
Bye.

♪

[camera clicking]

[indistinct chatter]

[people screaming]

Honestly, what did I do
to deserve all of this?

I feel like
a normal person now.

This thing, though,
keeps fallin',

and I feel like
I need to keep it up

so that my boobs
don't like... ya know?

Yeah.

Wow, that, like,
is making my fat,
like... pop out.

No, it's not.

Oh, everyone looks so pretty.

[♪ "Starships"
by Nicki Minaj playing]

[student] Jonathan!
I didn't want Jonathan
to film his own prom.

But, like, would you rather
film prom or be at prom?

♪ I'm on the floor, floor ♪

♪ I love to dance ♪

♪ So give me more, more ♪

♪ Then here I am ♪

- ♪ Starships were
meant to fly ♪
- [group sings along]

♪ Hands up, we're higher
than a mother... ♪

♪

♪ We're higher
than a mother... ♪

[cheering]

[♪ music fades out]

- [phone dings]
- This way and then make a left.

- [indistinct chatter]
- Okay.

[ambient street noise]

[♪ light, tense music playing]

It says, "We have reached
our enrollment capacity...

cannot make any additional
offers for Fall of 2022."

[♪ somber music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hi!
- [friend] What the f*ck?!

- How are you?
- Everyone is here.

Oh, my God. I know--

- You know what I mean?
- [friend] Yeah.

[♪ "Party in the U.S.A."
by Miley Cyrus playing at prom]

I was scared and I was alone
and I didn't have any friends.

It's been a bad day.

And I had a breakdown,
a mental breakdown,

so now I'm just
being a bad b*tch.

Feels like no one cares
because no one really does, actually.

I just felt like a burden.

I felt like no one genuinely
wanted me in their life

or enjoyed my presence,

and I didn't enjoy
my own presence.

I didn't enjoy looking
at myself in the mirror.

I wanted my life to end.

I kinda just convinced
myself that it was, like,
an easier way out

than actually, like,
dealing with the things
that I had to deal with.

I tried to overdose.
I tried to k*ll myself.

I just wanted
everything to stop.

[♪ solemn music playing]

I also think a part of me
thought that, like,

if I showed people
how serious I was

and how much that
really f*cked me up,

then people would believe me,

but, no, it doesn't,
it doesn't matter.

You can do anything, you know,
and people will write it off as,

"She just wanted attention."

Something about the isolation
of social media, um,

when you're in your room
and you're on your phone,

you're so alone.

Hours pass by
and it's so in your head.

It ends up kind of leading
to suicidal thoughts

and, I mean, that's
always happened for me.

Even, like...

Even now, I, um,
I haven't had TikTok,

and recently,
my mom wanted me
to download TikTok

to help promote her business.

And I swear, 20 minutes in,
and I'm having suicidal thoughts

that I haven't had in a while.

♪

I had went through
a pretty dark time

in the beginning of COVID.

I didn't know what
to do with myself

or how to deal
when I was incredibly lonely

and just struggling,
and so, I attempted suicide

and ended up
going to treatment.

I'd posted a TikTok.

I made, like,
the nurse at the hospital

do, like, a photoshoot
with me after I overdosed.

You saw that?!

I did the same thing.

Like, after I overdosed,
I also posted it.

- We are, literally,
the same person.
- Yeah, I relate.

Yeah, I had, like,


[Sofia]
It's so common.

[Stella]
It definitely made my day.

I was like, "Ugh, look
at all this attention..."

- [Sofia] Mm-hmm.
- "...all the comments
I'm getting now."

But, like, damn,
I don't want
all those people--

Like, that was not
a fun time in my life, guys.

- Like, that was, obviously...
- [Sofia] Mm-hmm.

...quite a traumatic era,

but I posted it
like it was nothing.

With Teen Line,
I don't think that I have
ever been in the room

and suicide has not
been mentioned.

[phone ringing]

[Jonathan] Hi, John,
how old are you?

You said 17?
What's going on tonight?

Uh, how long have you
been feeling like this?

Yeah.

[Dominic]
Teen Line has data
that shows that suicide

is getting more "popularized."

♪

[Jonathan]
Do you think there was
a specific correlation

to social media, um, and Ry's
anxiety and depression?

Yes.

Ry felt very, very lonely.

And he had such trouble feeling
comfortable in his own skin.

Social media, in hindsight,

I realized was the only outlet
when you're isolated.

Ry had been up for a couple
of days, actually.

Quite late at night
on social media.

The isolation,
and then, going down
very dark rabbit holes

really is a problem,
wouldn't you say?

I'd said to Ry, I said,
"I can't lovingly

watch you throw your life
away on the phone."

And Ry responded
very, very badly to it,

and got very upset.

And I left the room
and I phoned Ry's therapist.

What I know now is
I shouldn't have left the room.

I went back to the room
after a few minutes
and the door was locked.

[♪ unsettling music playing]

Two weeks before Ry died,

Ry told me of a Reddit thread
called "Sanctioned Suicide."

The thread will actually
encourage you to end it w--
including instructions,

how to get 'round parents,
wh-what to do.

♪

It was so horrifying to me.

[computer notifications]

♪

In that moment,
we need other alternatives.

It was a spontaneous decision

that Ry had made
within 10 minutes,

texted a friend who
didn't respond right away.

[Jonathan] Do you know what
that last text that Ry sent was?

Um, yeah, I-I, "I need to talk
to a friend right now."

Social media is our lifeline,
but it's also a loaded g*n.

[Sydney] Yeah, it's just
like cigarettes, you know?

Like, the statistics
of, of lung cancer
or heart disease

related to smokers
is like suicides with teens

related to social media
and eating disorders.

But they're profiting
and they know what
they're doing,

but it's not af--
They-- They're--

We're customers,
like, to them.

It's very clear,
even in this small group...

like, Gen Z is not
doing well because of this.

- [group agrees]
- [applause]

Delete your social medias.

It's, like, I want to,

but, like, I feel like
I cannot, like...

The whole point of it is
it's designed and engineered

to keep us addicted.

How do you get off
social media without it, like--

- Without not being invited
to things anymore?
- Exactly! It's, like,

how do you get off
social media

without people
forgetting you exist?

It's so strange.

So, I think it's up to us
to sort of figure out

how we can still...
be people.

[ambient street noise]

Oops.

Mm-hmm.

I like to think that we had
a little bit of help

with an incentive program.

- I like to think
that was part of it.
- [Ella] That was part of it.

[Hudson] You were in
an incentive program?

[Ella]
I was in an incentive program.

It helped!

[Ross] We just basically
pay our children

to do the bare minimum

of what's required
of a human being.

[both laughing]

[Ella]
My parents knew that
I was on TikTok a lot

and they knew that
I wasn't doing great.

And so, they were like,
"This might not be the answer,

"but it looks like
they're correlated,

so let's give it a shot."

With your phones,
you can just do whatever,

you're never really "bored."

When you sit
with your thoughts

and when you get bored,
ideas come.

[overhead banging]

I definitely see
an increase in creativity

now that I'm off of it.

[kisses]

My first choice
for college is Edinburgh

and they asked for, like,
a five-minute short on,
like, whatever.

[echoing]
Hello?

So, I decided
to make a film.

[echoes]
Let me out!

[slams]

There's definitely parts
from my own life.

I was split
between two worlds,

you know, social media world,
real life world.

Social media brought out
a worse version of me...

but deleting TikTok,
reducing social media stuff,

I'm not worrying about
what other people are doing.

I just feel more focused,

and more, like,
in tune with what I like.

I can be fully free.

[birds chirping outside]

Bodhi and I just,
like, broke up.

I have my own stuff
that I need to heal from,

like, just from
past experiences

and, like, I just have,
like, my own trust issues,

and, you know, it just
wasn't really working out

between us
as much anymore.

You know, when you're
in love with someone,

you sometimes
don't see everything,

like, you know, beneath
the surface or whatever.

[chuckles]

Bodhi, he ended up
showing his true colors.

One day,
Ellie's on the phone
arguing with Bodhi.

He hacked into her socials.

She was, literally,
logged out of her Insta,

her Snap, her email.

She couldn't
get into anything.

He told her like,
"Yeah, it's me."

And he was going through
all her messages.

And she's, like,
devastated, crying.

And he was taunting her
about the fact that

she couldn't do
nothing about it.

[♪ quiet, tense music playing]

I think that he felt,
like, this power over her

and wanted to f*ck with her.

And he did.

I grabbed the phone
and I told him to give her

her account back
and leave her alone,

and he's like,
"Oh, I'm scared."

I was like,
"Yeah, if I pull up,
you'll be scared."

[chuckles]

And, you know, he was like,
"Is that a threat?"

And I told him,
"No, it's, it's a warning."

♪

[Ellie] Sometimes
I think that Bodhi

maybe cost
Julie and I's friendship.

I kind of regret
I didn't make her, like,
one of my priorities.

So, I deleted all of those
pictures of me and Bodhi,

like, off of my social media.

I wanna, like, be in love
with my f*ck' life

and, like, love what I do

and, like, that's what
matters to me now.

[♪ music fades out]

- [♪ "FOMO" by Max Mill playing]
- Prayers up!

♪ We've all had FOMO ♪

♪ That time you
were a no-show ♪

- Okay, time to change.
- Oh, my God, it is.

[Marley]
Okay. Love you so much.

[♪ song fades out]

[phone notifications]

- Uh, Keshawn just canceled.
- [Lauren Greenfield] What?

[Marley]
How do you cancel,
like, two minutes

before you're
supposed to be there?

I don't know
if I'm gonna respond.

- [♪ melancholy music playing]
- I went into it being like,
"Doesn't matter.

Like, no feelings, like,
it's just gonna be fun."

He was super, super, super,
like, moving fast with it.

Like, "Need to see you,
I miss you."

[Keshawn] [on voice text]
Good mornin',
my little rockstar, like,

I miss you already,
Ms. Marley.

So, hit me, call me anytime.

He's just too much
of a sweet talker.
It's annoying.

♪

Keshawn stood me up.

Kdgetuchies stood you up?

"I'm going to the lagoon.
It's my nephew's birthday."

- Wouldn't he have known that?
- Right?! That's what I said!

I don't want you
to lower your standards
because "he's so fine."

Cute doesn't always
mean great.

Right!

A lot of girls don't
understand that.

They're just spreadin'
their legs and giving it up.

- Mom.
- They're not-- I'm sorry,
but that's the real deal.

Yeah.

[chuckling]

[♪ light music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

That was actually
the first time that

the three of us hung out,
like, since we've broken up.

♪

[Kalin babbling]

- You said what?
- [Keshawn] I said, "I'ma see."

You just took
the whole sheet off the--

Whatchu dancin' to?

[babbling]

[Kalin laughing]

♪

- [Kalin babbles]
- Huh?

[♪ music fades out]

[distant chatter]

[car honks]

But I don't recognize
myself at all.

[♪ light music playing]

It's way more
complicated and difficult

than I thought it would be.

I, like, had this
big expectation that

in time for my sister's
graduation, like,

I was gonna be taking
a ton of pictures of myself,

posting them everywhere.

But there's so many
times where I, like,
look in the mirror

and just start, like, sobbing
because I feel like I've--

I hear the voice in my head
of something my mom

told me the last time
we spoke.

Like, "You're gonna
ruin your face."

And I'm like, "Holy sh*t,
I ruined my face."

♪

- Buon appetito.
- Grazie tanto.

[Nina]
What my sister does
is her business,

and I, like,
fully support whatever
kind of a relationship

she wants with my mom.

But, like, I have no interest
in talking to Sherry.

I, like, will
actively avoid her.

My last words to her that--
was that she's no longer
my mother.

I mean, there's no reason
not to talk, there really isn't.

Um, even if people have
to talk through things.

Please, you know, understand
it's not easy for a mother.

I, I feel that we the people

are being purposefully
divide and conquer, divided,

so that we're so busy
fighting amongst each other

about stupid sh*t, really,
when you think about it,

that we're not seeing
what's really going on.

[birds chirping, cawing]

[Sofia] I'm just feeling
so many different types
of emotions

because, like, it wasn't even
for sure I was gonna graduate.

Purty.

Okay, yeah, this is
coming off pretty soon.

- [mom] You good? Okay.
- [Sofia] Yeah.

[birds chirping]

[♪ bright music playing]

Hey, Ivy.

- Aww.
- [Vito] Aww, that is for you.

- Thank you!
- Woo!

♪

[camera clicks]

[indistinct chatter]

♪

[♪ "Pomp and Circumstance"
playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Cori]
Pop your sh*t!
Yeah, yeah!

Yeah, son, talk yo' sh*t!

- Hey, how are ya?
- Hi.

- Psst.
- [announcer] We will now begin
the Class of 2022 Roll Call.

Graduates,
when your name is called,

please come forward
to accept your diploma.

[cheering, applause]

Jonathan.

[applause]

[Jonathan]
I'm going to UCSB.
I got in off the waitlist

and I wanna study
film and psychology.

[♪ hopeful music playing]

[cheering]

[announcer]
Ella.

[cheering]

[Ella]
My film got me
into Edinburgh.

I'm excited for the adventure
that is Scotland.

[announcer]
Isabella.

[both] [shouting] Ivyyy!

[Ivy] I've enrolled
in Columbia College Chicago.

I'm gonna major
in Creative Writing.

My dad is really
excited because he went
to Columbia College.

[announcer]
Keshawn.

[cheering]

[Sofia]
When I walked up
to grab my diploma,

I was, like, shaking
and I felt so awkward,

but I made it.

[announcer]
Sofia.

[cheering, applause]

[announcer]
Hamilton High School
Graduating Class of 2022!

[cheering]

As a ceremonial
and symbolic gesture

to show the crossing
over from high school
to the next phase of life,

turn your tassel
from right to the left.

- Congratulations!
- [cheering, applause]

♪

♪

♪

[excited yelling]

[Mark] Smile.

[♪ music fades out]

[Lauren]
I just wanna say,

'cause this is, like,
our last session...

you guys are
the first generation

that has grown up with this.

You share this experience,
but... you don't have

that many opportunities
to, like, get outside of it
and talk about it.

- [Sofia] Mm-hmm.
- So, what has this
process been like?

I never have, like,
this depth of conversation

with, like, anybody
in my life...

and it's, like...

I wish there were a way
to, like, translate it
into real life

because it's so hard to, like--

it's so unique to be in a room
without, like, phones, like,

none of us have our phones,
and we're just talking.

I think that the absolute
best thing we can do

is to really nurture
the relationships
we have in our lives

and try to, like,
genuinely connect with others
outside of social media

because liking
and commenting
on their posts

is a sorry excuse
for a relationship.

Sometimes, I get scared.

I'm like, "Dang, like, nobody
has any depth to them,"

but then, like,
when I met you guys,

I, like, was like,
"Dang, people are still okay."

Exactly!
I just feel like, "Oh, my God.
Like, I'm not alone in this."

Yes, but I wish
this space existed...

just on a regular basis.

- [chuckling]
- Alright, thank you, guys.

[indistinct chatter]

[all saying goodbyes]

[♪ mellow, cheerful
music playing]

[student]
So good to meet you,
hit me up on Snap.

[♪ music fades out]

[writing on cardboard]

So, yay, yay, yay.

My move-in day
for Vanderbilt
is August 20th.

I try not to think
about it too much,

it makes me really sad.

Agh!

[♪ light music playing]

Especially during
this transition time...

I find myself still triggered
by social media.

In times of change,

that's when I tend to have
issues with body image

because thing's feel
so out of control.

You have to do, like,
all of these appointments
before you leave.

Like, you have to get
your brows done,

and your hair done.

There's some anxiety
in terms of...

what do I look like,

what is the first impression
I'm giving people?

[Cooper] Mm-hmm.

Um... yeah.

[♪ pensive music playing]

I guess I have seen college
as sort of like a, a reset?

Terms of, like,
the person I wanna be.

♪

I'm kinda ready
just to start college

as this version of myself.

[hairdryer blowing]

- That's it. Thank you so much.
- [hairdresser] Love it.
You're welcome, of course.

[Cooper] Like, being very
well-versed in body image,

I sometimes feel guilty
if I have my own struggles
with it.

I feel like,
"Oh, I shouldn't be dealing
with this, I-I know better."

Just because I know
a lot about something

and I help a lot
of other people,

doesn't mean I'm not gonna
have my own struggles.

♪

[Bridget] [over laptop]
It was a spontaneous decision

that Ry had made
within 10 minutes,

texted a friend who
didn't respond right away.

[Jonathan] [over laptop]
Do you know what that
last text that Ry sent was?

Um, yeah, I-I, "I need to talk
to a friend right now."

Could've been to you.

[pauses video]

[silence]

[Jonathan] I want kids
like Ry to know that
there is support out there.

People who truly do care
and truly do wanna help.

[♪ light music playing]

It's important to...

have access to someone...

from wherever you are who can
just be there to listen.

[Bridget]
One of the things
I say to parents is,

"Try and stop telling
and start asking."

"Settings and privacy."
Settings?

"Please note, if you change
your name on Facebook,

you can't change
your name for 60 days."

I'm good.
I'm not detransitioning
in 60 days.

And this is a big deal,
it's a huge f*ck' deal.

Like, I've been transitioning
for two years now,

but I think it's like
the last frontier,

the last place where
I haven't been living as myself,

um, and so it's nice to,

yeah, finally put the last
piece in line, yeah.

[cheering]

Mm.

And it's done.

[♪ light music playing]

It was really important for me
to not just change my name,

but also show that
I'm transitioning

and I'm still with my family.

I'm still experiencing
a lot of love and support
from Vito and Ivy.

♪

And I don't know
exactly when it happened,

but there was just
this switch one day

where seeing
old photos of myself,

like, no longer
brings me pain.

I no longer feel repulsed
by old images of myself

because I no longer
feel trapped in that body.

I no longer feel trapped
in that reality.

This was, by far,
one of the best decisions

I've ever made in my life.

Now I f*cking love
taking pictures of myself.

I feel way f*cking better.

Like, I feel cute,
I feel attractive,

and I feel, like,
comfortable with how I look.

[laughing]
Ahh!

[Marley]
Everything happens
for a reason, I guess.

Like, I look back now
and I could've never
seen myself at Harvard.

First Black party
of the semester,
like all Black at Emory.

My friend group is
full of Black girls

who went to predominantly
white institutions
in high school...

and so, we all relate
to the experience of, like,

struggling with your identity
and struggling with who you are.

But, like, now,
I'm so proud of who I am.

I'm so proud of who
my parents are.

I speak up for myself now.

[laughing]

- Wanna smoke?
- Yeah.

[Ellie]
Julie and I made up.

Like, we've been friends,
like, since, you know, forever.

That's such a beautiful thing,
you know, like, that doesn't
happen always.

[Lauren]
And what are you gonna
do about the tattoo?

Oh, that's right.
I forgot I had got his name
tattooed on me.

It's kinda hard to hide,
but whatever.

It's an experience,
can't go back,

it is what it is, like...

You know, I could always
get it covered and I will,

I definitely will.

[laughing]

Finding one person that
truly loved me for who I was

is what saved my life.

I guess my, like,
advice to other people

who have been
in similar situations is

use your voice
as much as you can.

That's yours to share

and you should never
let anybody silence it.

♪

[Anthony]
I'm part of cancel culture,
I'm not gonna lie.

It kinda works,
it kinda doesn't work.

I tried multiple times
to get justice involved,

but authority,
they don't do sh*t.

You guys are not
doin' your job.

And, at the end of the day,
we all need to be heard.

I feel like you should
uplift everybody.

[birds chirping]

[Sydney]
It took a lot of courage to,

actually, like, tell my story.

Nobody wants to show
their bad side,

but I think it's important.

I used to post
sexy pictures

and I thought it
was self-expression.

[in video]
Action!

Now I found a better way
to express myself.

[computer notification]

[shouts]
Mom!

Mom, I got into NYU!

[Dani]
Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God.
- [Sydney] I got into
the film program, Tisch,

so I'm on top
of the world right now.

I wanna be a dir--
Well, I'm going
to be a director.

I'm going to be an impactful
film and television

director one day.

[announcer]
Show your love for Mr. KD!

[♪ Keshawn singing]

[crowd cheering]

Make some f*ck' noise
for KD right now!

[cheering]

Marketin'.
It's not about talent nowadays,

if you really look at it.

♪

[Jack]
My story, it's unique.

In high school, I built
a whole brand and image,

and it's all paying off.

I got into my dream
college of UCLA.

I included my social media
accounts on my application

just so they could check it
out if they wanted to see.

What's your Snap score?

- 269,000.
- Sheesh.

I really think they
liked my story...

and there's nothin' better
than that feeling.

[Stella]
This film is gonna show
how, like, dystopian

and, like, far gone
our world is. [laughs]

People are gonna watch it
like, "This is not real."

And it's gonna be like,
"Dude, this is, literally,
the world you live in,

this is, literally, your life."

[Lauren] Stella, is there
anything that you wanna add

that you didn't get
to talk about

that you want people to know?

[Stella]
Mmm.

Eh, n-no?

Follow me on Instagram,
@stella[bleep]. [laughs]

[♪ "Making Moves"
by Kdgetuchies playing]

- ♪ KD makin' moves ♪
- ♪ Ooh! ♪

- ♪ Diamonds shining, ooh ♪
- ♪ Yeah! ♪

♪ I like the way you move ♪

♪ Come and shine
with me too ♪

♪ I put you in the booth ♪

♪ Blood walking
on my shoes ♪

♪ I'm tryna get this money ♪

♪ Come and show me
what you do ♪

♪ Now everybody
come through! ♪

♪ How you 'posed
to live right now? ♪

♪ How you let a p*ssy
n#*#*#*a chill right now? ♪

♪ Let a n#*#*#*a take
food off your plate ♪

♪ Nah, you trippin' ♪

♪ That's the deal
right now ♪

♪ Man, that was old,
now I'm on a roll ♪

♪ Let a n#*#*#*a try to take me
and his face gettin' blown ♪

♪ Just a young n#*#*#*a
runnin' through with the po' ♪

♪ So, man, I don't trip,
live your life, little bro ♪

♪ So whatcha tell 'em? ♪

♪ I know I'm gonna make it,
it just take time ♪

♪ Money ain't love,
but young n#*#*#*a
I'm gon' take mine ♪

♪ Five minutes
left on the score
now it's game time ♪

♪ Game pointer, game check
on my check, man ♪

♪ How you 'posed
to live right now? ♪

♪ How you let a p*ssy
n#*#*#*a chill right now? ♪

♪ Let a n#*#*#*a take food
off your plate ♪

♪ Nah, you trippin' ♪

- ♪ That's the deal right now ♪
- ♪ That's the deal! ♪

Yeah, man, that's KD.
I'm on the fence.

Takin' time
doin' this rappin' sh*t

Imma do
anything I can, man

Rap, DJ,
produce, skate

Do anything I can
just to make it out

I'll do anything

I can even f*ck'
do Valerie if I wanted to

you know what I mean?
Ha, ha, ha.