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01x21 - Muddling Monsters

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Adventures of Captain Pugwash". Aired: October 1, 1998.*
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Pompous but likable pirate Captain Pugwash leads a crew of misfits on the Black Pig ship, including Tom the Cabin Boy and carpenter Jonah.

01x21 - Muddling Monsters

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

captain pagwash and his crew were

desperately eager to see jeremiah rook's

latest exotic attraction in portobello

roll up around up this fantastic it's

amazing

see the monsters yeah hmm we've been

waiting for hours and hours

what's the point there it's an

educational experience the captain said

it were going to be fun educational

hindu music

tickets only one doubloon have have your

money ready one two three four and a

half

torturing turtles that's nearly five

doubloons

i can't possibly pay for you all you

won't need to pay at all give me that

[Music]

we'll lose our place in the queue but if

we haven't got any money we can't get in

you coming in gents no

we're going back to our ship

give me four tickets did you just steal

that money aye that's a diabolical

liberty if anyone's going to take money

off the panthers it's me he ends up with

you just the same you owe me one jake my

son

[Music]

this just won't do

i'm down to my last groot we have to

come up with a way of making somebody

well could i attack a treasure ship and

plunder it for booty no mr bate we've

tried that before it's awfully dangerous

we could all get jobs don't be

ridiculous i know

we could catch a monster and then pay

people to

no no

that's not right

we catch our own monster and get people

to pay to see it

tom go to the market and buy some

monster cash again

what sort of thing you do to ask captain

but i just told you a yeah a monster

catching a

kit what sort of monster will we be

catching if all you can do is ask silly

questions really can go instead you know

what to do don't you do i maybe i should

go captain no really knows what's needed

now

yeah i don't think that's a good idea

crackling crackers

this is undoubtedly the finest scheme

i've ever concocted

this monster will make me rich

there you are cav one stately monster

locating device one fully automatic

monster trap pin one escape-proof

monster retaining system all yours for

five doubloons yeah but the captain only

gave me a groat you know

[Music]

[Music]

um

oh no

pug wash will never find that monster

willie no and he'd run a mile if he did

no worries then

but just say he did which he won't will

he then what if we put it on show no no

no no he's going to

but if he's got a real monster no one's

going to pay to see this oh

and he'll make a fortune horrible for

anyone we got to stop

a moe

how about we let pogba's find this

monster and bring it back to portobello

then you steal it and i pay you so

pogwash does all the work

i get the money lovely little plan in it

at first light the black pig was plowing

through a big sea bound for adventure

unfortunately the captain discovered a

slight hitch in his

[Music]

where plan

do you find monsters i don't know

captain i once heard a story about this

huge monster that eats fish and ships

you mean chips no captain it eats whole

ships and it lives way down south off

the cape of no hope well i suppose then

we'd better go there they don't like

this hicks finish in one little bit

no good will come of meddling with sea

monsters

mark my words it is all his fault coming

up with these brave aviars yeah i

thought it were the captain's idea yes

it was but you had it fast

there's the cape of no hope captain i

can't see it behind you

yes good excellent oh look that rock it

appears to be moving i think that's the

monster captain that's the monster

what is captain the sea monster it's

coming straight farther they thought

that was what you wanted

yes yes it is

so so what are you waiting for catch it

when i go and hide and i mean heightened

are our readiness for taking it out i'm

not sure this is such a good idea oh

[Music]

oh thanks very much

what's that dude it's the monster quick

get him in the tub

not him the monster

[Music]

[Applause]

you see my brilliant plan worked

captain are you sure you don't want us

to throw the monster back he's not very

happy oh i need the b*mb strap

stop arguing and save us back to

portobello sharpish

as the black pig headed north on the

long return voyage

tom found his hands full being mum to a

monster

either the tub's getting smaller oh

you're growing

[Music]

oh all right

have some more

no good will come off this mag my way

this isn't right never our dinners are

getting smaller and smaller but that's

because the sea monster's eating more

and more if he goes on at this rate

there'll be no food left for us at all

to do something about it yes mr mate i

will

only two doubloons have been around only

three no no no only five doubloons to

see the terrifying monster captured by

the

bravest captain

can we far again captain jake no

we don't want to hurt the monster

prepare

just stand there tom do something

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

hideousness back to the flying dustman

now

tom yes captain i want my monster back

[Music]

catcher

good

he'd not like to catchy the bald capitan

by the time i finish them you'll like it

all right you're gonna have to earn your

keep now fresh breath

tricks why didn't i think of that

because it really isn't a good idea

captain look over there where behind you

i can't hear you that monster's making a

terrible deal

[Music]

no

it must be the sea monster's mother

captain

[Music]

it's heading straight for the flying

dustbin i think she wants her baby back

huh baby well he was growing so quickly

he had to be a baby and now jake's made

him cry the mother monsters come to

rescue him

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

don't worry she just wanted her baby

back to add insult to injury while cut

throat jake clung desperately to the

wreckage of the flying dustman his

treasure was washed up alongside the

black pig

i'm afraid there's not much food left in

that galley captain never mind we'll be

back home soon and i'll treat myself to

a slap up bill oh

and you of course

and there'll be plenty of time to

celebrate my thought top hole and tip

top

don't captaincy

i haven't forgotten you

[Music]

you