01x06 - The Dingly Dangly Crab

[bunniefuu]

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the aromatica peninsula promised miracle

remedies oils and actions to make all

live longer and grow wiser

so it was only fitting that captain

parkwash had sailed in in the black pig

to find his own special health

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cure is it not a bit early for you

everybody in this part of the world

rises at dawn

early to bed early to rise makes a man

healthy wealthy and wise

healthy wealthy and wise

now then i'd like a glass of freshly

squeezed orange juice a grapefruit and a

bowl of brown did you say bran captain

brown toast and a cup of herbal tea no

sugar captain and tom yes captain tell

the bait that i require the crew to join

me on deck for physical jerks in ten

minutes jerks captain good heavens boy

do i have to say everything twice hi

captain

jump jump raisin shade

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oh

let me tell you i had no sleep this man

he snots all night like a donkey i can't

help it i'm oh i've got a cold

and a mouth please

now snip to it they kept it as plans for

the day

no good will come of it help the arms

and swing and swing and hoover and head

shoulders knees toes and chirlies knees

chairs head shoulders did later

these twos

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a few leisurely exercises and you behave

as though you've run the monte before

marathon well now's your chance to get

fit

listen here

the aromatica peninsula capital city

santa placebo offers everything you need

for fitness of body and mind sorters

solariums tuning tables floatation tanks

and and

tom

my eyes are playing up what does it say

here

hydrotherapy aromatherapy physiotherapy

psychotherapy hypnotherapy no good will

come of it mark my words be the

healthiest pirates of the high seas a

healthy pirate is a happy pirate a

effect and a happy pirate is a rich

pirate think of all the lucky charms and

crystals they'll be in santa placebo

worth a fortune

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so

will you fit that whole food pug wash

into that boat thing it's a coracle

whatever

then get aboard the black cake and

hypnotize him and bring him back to the

flying dustman with all his worldly

goods

then i'll be paid handsomely by you hey

handsomely i'm sorry correct

oh

my god

viruses it's like being caught in a thai

food

sit down jonah and eat your bread i want

a sausage this is a sausage-free ship

don't just sit there all of you off you

go and see who it is

man you did

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i do anything for a sausage

i feel

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charms i see

infection

i sense

that you are prone to colds how did it

go oh i'm an oracle i know everything

suck on the root of the anabanga tree

three times a day you'll be cured in no

time

thank you god

oh dear

i sense

injury

i feel

wounds

i see

bumps on the head you see them i feel

them huh know what i mean well well now

who have we here

ah

you must be the captain captain

i'm the van with a mystic from the

valleys of aromatica well as a matter of

fact we are planning to go ashore at

santa placebo forgive me for saying so

but the aromaticans are not partial to

pirates not partially allowed pirates to

go ashore in santa placebo were all

ground down and made into facial scrubs

simmering soap sands but if you do as i

say captain you have the chance to be

the richest pirate on the high seas tom

bring some cocoa

caramel tea into my cabbage aye captain

and tom

the tea set we keep for best i i captain

did i tell you about the time when this

great big crocodile

a dingly dangly crab on a string watch

it swing

watch it swing

riches and glory he'll bring he'll bring

my dingly dangly crab on a string

my dangly crab on a string

now captain you're under my spell and

you'll only wake up when i clap my hands

three times

in the meantime you'll do just as i say

as you say

you are the most generous and

tender-hearted pirate in the world you

are the robin hood of the ocean wave

what are you the robin hood of the ocean

way correct

oh

what a lovely silver teapot help

yourself do and is that a fob watch

captain it's yours my dear and what

about that beautiful glow all that i

have is yours

oh oh

no good will come of that corky mark my

words actually uh i'm feeling a lot

better blossom

she's hypnotized the captain what did i

tell you he's handing over all his

worldly goods she's already got the

teapot one thing's for sure we must stop

the captain from leaving the ship i have

to report that the captain has left the

ship he has departed with the horrico in

the coracle oh no

there's only one thing for it

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i knew it they're heading for the flying

dustman

i'm off to catch a crab huh

stuttering so sayers it's the flying

just one you're not frightened captain

you're the hercules of the high seas

what are you

i'm

the hercules of the high seas correct

and cutthroat jake is your best friend

who is cutthroat jake cutthroat jake is

my best friend

oh

no

it's a diggly daggly crab

jonah it's not going to hurt you now

listen very carefully

so can put wash me oh mate seeing

is how you've cut our monika to get fit

how's about a few gentle exercises

[Laughter]

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[Applause]

this is just too much no captain it's

quite correct

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for dangling a crab

on a thread

you're under my spell you are a chicken

what are you

a chicken

and the rest of you you are big fears

wild dogs

what are you

and you

you

are head over heels in love

with jake

i know what i mean

oh you are gorgeous my little chickadee

i do love

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meanwhile tom had loaded up the longboat

with all the captains worldly goods and

soon they were rowing back to the black

pig laughing all the way

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there's one thing a pirate needs to keep

him fit and healthy it's a very good tea

another sausage captain

don't mind if i do oh

my god what a fine old scrape you got me

into still luckily for you i managed to

play cutthroat jake in his own game and

i left him the very best present of all

be then we're the mystery

end of a mouth believes

up on deck tom saw the coast of

aromatica disappear behind them as he

set a course

for portobello

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you