03x06 - Oh Brother Where Art Thou; The Wall

[bunniefuu]

♪ Watch out, 'cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while,
but we're back with style ♪

♪ So get set to have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
and satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

[electricity crackling]

Oh, there you are!

I've been looking
everywhere for you, Simon!

-Come, on! Come on, let's go!
-Alvin, I can't go anywhere!

I'm doing my science-fair project,

which is what you should be doing!

Well, Mr Smarty-pants,
this is about the science fair.

No, it isn't. It's about the grand
opening of a new water park!

Where there is
plenty of science at work.

Gravity, for starters.

This is research
and I absolutely have to go!

Oh, oh, OK.

So, exactly what aspects
of gravity are you investigating

for your science-fair project
at Thunder Waves?

The aspect of water catapulting
me down at 100 miles an hour!

Not going to happen, my friend.

Besides,
you know we can't do anything

until this room is clean.

Uh, well, perhaps you need new glasses,

because this room is spotless!

Gravity at work.

Ugh!
Alvin broke the toaster again!

-[Simon] Alvin!
-Oh, hey!

[nervous chuckle]

And now for my demonstration
of the opposite of gravity!

See? I'm going back up!

You would think I'd come down,
but, you see, this is up!

Alvin, come on!
Sneaking out to Thunder Waves?

I can't help it, Simon!

There's a corkscrew slide
that goes on for days!

Which is exactly how long
your punishment would be

if Dave found out
about your little stunt!

Well, he won't find out, Simon.

I mean, I won't tell him
and you won't tell him.

You know, we're the only ones that know.
Right?

Oh, come on. This puts me
in a very uncomfortable position!

Dave asked me to keep an eye
on you and let him know

if I saw you pulling
any shenanigans.

Well, you didn't see
any shenanigans.

-So, we're all good.
-[sighs]

[video game sounds]

Ha, ha, ha! Ha-ha!

Surrender now, my little minion,
or face the wrath of Kahn!

-[Dave] Alvin, we need to talk.
-I do not know of this Alvin.

My name is Kahn! And I'm about
to take this Cretan prisoner!

-Alvin!
-All right, OK.

You've totally broken the mood!
What is it?

Is there something
you want to tell me?

Um... you're a great dad?

Anything else?

-I can't believe you told him!
-What?

Wait. You did what?

Whatever he said, Dave,
I did not do it.

-Alvin, stop talking.
-No, no, no.

No, no, no. I am done with you.
You... you... snitch!

-Alvin, I didn't...
-Do not speak to me ever again!

And then maybe I can forget
that you even exist!

Why were you mad at Alvin?

He took my golf club
and left it outside... again!

Oh, come on, come on!

Oh, oh, I'm almost there,
almost there!

-[Dave] Alvin?
-[gasps]

-Alvin, I want to talk to you.
-[snores]

Alvin, I know you're awake.

[yawns]

[Theodore] Help! Help!

[robotic voice]
I am your master now!

No. Never!

-Hello?
-Be quiet, Alvin!

I'm trying to hide
from the evil Robot Master.

[gasps] Oh, no! Here he comes!

[robotic voice]
I am your master now.

Oh...
That's the third time he got me!

Did Simon say
you could play with his robot?

Who... who's Simon?

Simon, your brother.
You know, that really annoying guy

who has an opinion
about everything and rats me out!

-Never heard of him.
-Fine, fine, Theodore.

-Where's Dave?
-I don't know.

You'd better clean up this mess
before he gets home or...

Or what?
Dave doesn't care what I do.

Hey, wanna play Monsters and Goblins?

Don't you have homework to do?

No. I flunked out of school, remember?

What? When did this happen?

-Right after you flunked out!
-OK, OK, hold on, hold on!

Why are you talking like this?
All right? Are you sick?

-Did... did you bump your head?
-Well, I am tired.

Dave and I played cards until midnight.

Wait, wait. Hold...
Dave? You know, the guy... Dave?

What is happening here?

-Oh, not again!
-What's the matter?

What's the matter?
We have a toaster

with an exposed electrical wire.
That's very dangerous!

I thought Simon fixed that yesterday.

You should be the one to fix it.

-You broke it.
-Fine. OK, I will.

Simon's not the only one around
here who knows how to do things!

And I don't need anyone's help!

Theodore, come on. Come over
here and help a little, huh?

No, but Teddy's
really good at that stuff.

[Teddy]
Come on, dance with me.

I don't know what's
going on around here, OK?

But I plan to get to the bottom of this

just as soon as I find Simon,

so he can get to the bottom of it for me.

Let's see. Where is his number?

Hey! Why isn't it in my phone?

Alvin, sometimes our imaginary
friends, like Simon, leave us.

It... it means
we don't need them as much.

He's not my imaginary friend, Theodore!

He's my brother,
sometimes annoying brother,

and your brother too!

OK? I mean, don't you remember?

No. No, I don't.

[gasps] Where's his bed?

Where are his clothes? Theodore,
something terrible has happened!

Do you think my mind is so powerful

that it actually washed Simon
out of existence?

Uh, Alvin. I... I don't know
what you're talking about.

-[Miss Croner] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!
-Oh, thank goodness!

Miss Croner!
She'll remember who Simon is!

What do you want?

Oh, Miss Croner!
I know this is gonna sound funny,

but, uh, do you remember Simon?

What a ridiculous question!
Of course I know Simon!

Oh, thank you!
Oh, that's such great news!

Have you seen him?
Do you know where he is?

Of course I know where Simon is.

-Well, where is he?
-I shipped him off to Europe a month ago.

My cousin fancied him.

So we snuck him in her bag
and they set for sea!

Hello? Hello?

Does Dave know?

I don't see
how it's any of his business!

-Miaow.
-Oh, look!

-There's Simon's brother.
-Wait. Simon's a cat?

Of course he's a cat!
What else would he be?

[gasps] The Chipettes!

Guys! Guys!

OK, OK, I know this is
gonna sound ridiculous,

but, um, you guys know Simon, right?

-Simon? Of course!
-Oh, thank goodness.

Because no one else seems to.

-So, do you know where he is?
-Hmm.

Last I heard, he was, um...
shipped off to Europe.

You're talking about
Miss Croner's cat, right?

No! No! I'm talking
about my brother Simon!

Come on! You know, he lives next door,
wears kind of nerdy glasses,

goes to our school,
plays in our band. That Simon!

Know what I'm talking about?

Yes! Of course we know.

Thank you!

You have an imaginary brother
named Simon.

Who, uh, goes to school with you.

Yeah. And he, uh,
he plays in a band with you,

called the, uh, what was it?

-The... The Chipmunks.
-He's not imaginary!

Alvin, you don't go to school.
You flunked out.

And, um, well,
you're not in a band.

Can't have a band
with just two chipmunks.

You need at least three.

Voices are too thin for just two.

-[Brittany] You see, we're in a band.
-'Cause we have three. See?

One, two, three.

♪ One, two, three ♪

♪ That's a band ♪

[giggles] Sounds good, right?

-'Cause we have three.
-Yeah. See?

-You can't do it with two.
-I have three!

-Yes, yes, of course you do.
-Alvin, Simon, Theodore!

OK, calm down now.

Brittany, call the doctor.
Tell him to bring the straitjacket.

-You think I'm crazy?
-No.

No one said you were crazy.

Tell him to bring
anti-crazy pills.

-I'm not crazy!
-Extra strength.

No!

I need to talk to Simon.

OK, tell me about
this imaginary brother of yours.

He was my sensei,
my better half, my mentor,

my friend, my co-conspirator.

He was the yin to my yang,
the peanut butter to my jelly.

[music plays]

♪ Everybody knows
how the story goes ♪

♪ You don't know what you've got
until you give it away ♪

♪ I've been missing you ♪

♪ Don't know what to do ♪

♪ Everything is wrong
when you're gone ♪

♪ I want to see you
when you wake ♪

♪ I don't want to hesitate ♪

♪ Don't believe a word they say ♪

♪ It doesn't matter anyway ♪

I miss him so much.

What's going on?
Who do you miss?

Oh, Simon! Simon!

My mind is so powerful
that it willed you back into existence!

Oh, it's a miracle!

Theodore, this is the Simon
I was telling you about!

[giggles]

OK. Hold on.
What's going on here?

Well, since you said you didn't
want Simon in your life,

I thought we'd let you see

what it would really be like without him.

-Oh, you did, did you?
-Yeah.

Uh-huh.
And the Chipettes were in on it?

-Yup.
-Uh-huh. And Miss Croner?

No. Miss Croner wasn't in on it.

Uh, what are you talking about?

Never... never mind.
Simon, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean what I said.

Oh, my world would be
way worse without you in it.

-I'm so... I'm so sorry.
-Alvin, it's OK.

We all say things we don't mean.

[Alvin] Oh, oh, finally decided
to show up, huh?

-Where were you all day?
-Simon and I

went to pick up tickets
to Thunder Waves.

He told me
how much you wanted to go.

Felt guilty snitching on me, right?

-I didn't snitch.
-Snitch about what?

-Leaving my golf club outside?
-Did you tell him I did that?

-No, I didn't.
-Wait. What didn't you tell me?

I can't believe you snitched on me!

Alvin!

[panting]
Guys, did you guys hear the gossip

-in the girl's bathroom?
-No.

Ugh! They're trying to decide
who's the cutest Chipmunk.

-Oh, no!
-If Alvin finds out about this,

-he's gonna go crazy!
-Who's crazy?

Aaah! Uh... Hi, Alvin.

We were just talking about
that old crazy guy.

-Right, Eleanor?
-Yeah... yeah, yeah. Um...

You remember
that old crazy guy from the sea.

He was, like,
"Ah, get those ghosts off of me!

I don't believe in curses!"

-Who's this?
-Oh, you know, that old...

-Crazy guy.
-From, uh, the... the sea,

who was, you know, going crazy!

OK... Sorry I asked.

[Amber] I mean,
I don't even know how this started.

Yes, you do. You totally started this.

Oh, right. I forgot. I mean,
I don't know which one is cuter.

I like how Theodore acts
like he never knows what's going on.

Huh? What's going on?

Yeah, OK. Look over here.
Boys, hello?

OK, look me in the face.
OK, now turn your heads.

OK, well, Simon automatically loses.

Oh, no! Simon, you're out!

Wait. What's the game?

Well, some girls are debating
who's the cutest Chipmunk.

Cutest? Do you mean, like,
"Who's that cute child?"

or... or, "Ooh! He is cute!"

Just like, I don't know, cute.

-I'm going with Theodore.
-OK, then, me too.

[groan]

-Yes!
-OK, wait, guys. This is crazy.

I'm the cutest. Come on!

You know, that's, like, who I am.

Theodore, you're the baby.
Simon, you're the nerd.

And, well, I'm the cute one!

-[Simon] Oh, gee, thanks.
-[Theodore] Yeah,

I'd rather be the cute one,
and you can be the baby.

[Miss Smith] OK, that's enough talking.

It's time for the video announcement,
so listen up!

Or don't. I don't care.

The question we've been asking is,

"Are freshmen getting shorter?"

OK, Theodore, stay... stay still.

Here we go. There we go.
OK. Now!

Just read from the cue cards
in three, two, one, and... go!

Hello, I'm Theodore,
and while some of you may think I'm cute,

it's really just because
I act like a baby.

I am better known for overeating?

Hey! What is this?

Ugh! Theodore!
Why'd you stop?

That was perfect!

Ugh! I stopped because you're
making me sound like an idiot!

No. I meant overeating baby
in a cool, hip, kind of way.

I was saying you weren't cute
'cause you're cooler than that.

Oh! OK. It sounded
like it was a bad thing.

No. You know, would you just
get back to the cue cards?

This year, my biggest accomplishment

was not pooping myself!

What?

Wait a sec! I'm not doing this!

Theodore, wait!
OK, fine, you know, no rush.

I'll film Simon while you consider it.

Alvin, I'm not participating
in some pointless poll.

It's superficial and,
quite frankly, upsetting.

That's exactly my point!

You don't care,
because it's superficial and pointless.

But I care! I care so much!

I need your help, Simon! Please!

No!

Oh, oh, hello. I'm Simon.

[Kevin]
The girls' volleyball team had a game

against San Marcos
high school and won.

[Cheesy] Thanks, Kevin.
I'm down here in the cafeteria,

-where we have a...
-Can I help you?

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out
what you put in this pudding.

Because there's no way
this is a banana.

Hello, everyone.
My name is Alvin Seville.

Recently, I heard
there's been a little confusion

as to which of us Seville boys
is the cutest.

-Oh, no!
-Now, I'll admit,

sometimes it's hard
to tell the three of us apart,

but I hope that this video
can help clarify things.

People describe me
as a babe magnet. I'm cool.

Now, those aren't my words,
those are what other people say.

Anyway, in the interest of total
candour and transparency,

let's go to Simon for his video.

Hey, hey, I'm Simon.
The nerdy one.

[snorts] I like to think and,

you know, you know,
do science, cause I'm boring.

What?

Now let's meet my baby brother,
Theodore.

Hi, I'm Theodore.

Uh-oh! Where's my wob wob?

I need my wob wob!

[laughter]

I don't even know
what a wob wob is!

[Principal Meadows]
Alvin, come with me.

You made Simon and Theodore
look really stupid, Alvin.

-Well, I was just trying...
-I know.

But it made things worse for you.

What? How?

Because now, instead
of just talking about it,

they're voting on the bathroom wall.

They're putting tally marks

under which Chipmunk's the cutest.

-Wait. They're voting?
-Yeah.

-Who... who's winning?
-Theodore,

even though people think
he still needs his wob wob.

-Then me?
-Nope, then Simon.

What? I gotta do something!

♪ Have you heard
all the rumours? ♪

♪ People sure like
to talk about me ♪

♪ I think that makes me cooler ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ I got 'em whispering
all down the hallway ♪

♪ Mr Popular forever and always ♪

♪ Have you heard
all the rumours? ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Who cares
what they say about me? ♪

♪ This school
wouldn't be cool without me ♪

♪ Who cares
what they say about me? ♪

♪ This school
wouldn't be cool without me ♪

♪ I'm on everybody's mind ♪

♪ They talk about me all the time ♪

♪ And I don't know why,
but I can't help it ♪

♪ That I'm so popular ♪

♪ I'm the coolest
and everybody knows it ♪

♪ I'm so popular ♪

Hey, Vanessa,
check this out, OK?

I am cool and cute!

Hey, Alvin. Whatcha...
whatcha doing over here, buddy?

I have no idea. You know,
I was hoping that if I say,

"I'm the cutest!"
you know, enough times,

-people will believe it.
-Yeah.

I... I don't think that will help.

Well, then, what will?
I'm desperate!

[chatting]

[Jeanette] Hello, excuse me.

If I could please
have everyone's attention.

[Eleanor] Hey, ladies!
Mouths closed and eyes up here!

If you want your coupon
to Sugar and Spice,

then you gotta participate.

OK, so, um, we have a series
of questions we're gonna ask you

and we need your honest response.

Wait. Uh, Cheesy? I'm sorry.

We're conducting an interview
for the girls of the school.

Yeah, no, I know.
I've got two cousins who are girls,

so, you know...
I mean, one's a girl.

So, what is this?
Is this Gouda?

[Jeanette] Uh, well...

Why doesn't everyone
have a seat and we'll start?

Eleanor, can you close the door?

[falsetto voice]
Oh, sorry, sorry, I'm running late.

[Eleanor] No. Nope. Absolutely not!

Eleanor, it's me, Alvin.

Oh, really? It's Alvin?
Yeah, I got that!

Well, I'm here undercover

to make sure you ask the right questions.

Alvin, please leave.
This is so awkward.

[falsetto voice]
Hello, hello, excuse me.

The name is Chantrelle Boureguard,

and I can't wait
for the random survey.

OK. Uh, hi. Uh, anyway...

So, as some of you may know,
there's a poll going around

asking which Chipmunk
is the cutest, and ...

[falsetto voice]
Well, Alvin, obviously. Right?

Everyone's thinking it.
I just thought I'd say it out loud.

Well, not everyone, Chantrelle.
OK?

And we're here to find out why.

[falsetto voice]
Really? Well, hard to believe.

[Eleanor] Well, let's ask the group,
'cause, you know,

that's what we're here to do.

So, who here thinks
Alvin's the cutest Chipmunk?

[usual voice] What?
[falsetto voice] I mean, what?

-Stop talking, Chantrelle.
-[Jeanette] So, why is that?

So, he's, like, always saying
how he's, like, a babe magnet

and it's, like, hello,
if you're a babe magnet,

you don't have to say it.

[Cheesy]
Yeah, or like,

how he's always, like,
"No, Cheesy,

don't eat the whole chip bag!"

Yeah, it's like, I don't
tell him how to eat his food!

Cheesy,
you don't think Alvin's cute

'cause he tells you
how to open a bag of chips?

Yeah, and some other stuff.
But, yeah, that's the main one.

That's the dumbest thing
I ever heard of!

Um, also, are we going
to pretend that this isn't Alvin?

Wait, then who's Chantrelle?

Let's try and focus here!

I just want to get through this survey!

Fine! All right.
We're done here, Eleanor.

And survey says everyone's a fool!

[Eleanor] Hey, Alvin.
How... how's it going?

-You feeling OK?
-I getting tiwed.

[Eleanor] OK...

Oh, oh. Is the baby thing not working?
Here.

How about my nerd outfit?

No! Stop!

Please.

OK, OK, I can be, you know,
more of a jock.

Hold on, hold on just a sec.
I'll get my helmet!

I'll be right there!

Ugh! We gotta do
something about this.

Yeah, we do.

-[Brittany] Alvin, you won the poll.
-What?

[Jeanette] And, uh, you know,
better not tell the others.

Of course. Of course.

Ah, what a relief.

Hey, ladies. How's it going?

-Hey, Alvin!
-Hi!

Oh, yeah! Back to normal.

[Brittany] That was great!

I owe you!

Did you pay the girls
to be nice to Alvin?

Yeah. And to never bring up
who's the cutest ever again!

It was so worth it!

-Alvin, hi!
-Hey, Alvin!

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪