01x01 - Talking Teddy/Principal Interest

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Watch out
'Cause here we come ♪

♪ It's been a while
But ♪

♪ We're back with style
So ♪

♪ Get set
To have some fun ♪

♪ We'll bring you action
And satisfaction ♪

♪ We're the Chipmunks ♪

♪ Alvin, Simon, Theodore ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Theodore,
it looks like

you did the most chores
today.

So, what show
do you want to watch?

Hmm, I-I
don't know.

What show do you want
to watch, Talking Teddy?

I want to watch
Talking Teddy TV Fun Time!

Oh, Theodore, please,
I beg you, not that again!

I don't choose.

Talking Teddy does.

Oh, good,
because for a minute,

I was afraid a stuffed doll
was running our lives!

Alvin, you know
how this works.

If you want
to choose the show,

you can always
do more chores.

Ugh! That's not even
funny, Dave.

TALKING TEDDY [ON TV]:
Yay!

KIDS [ON TV]:
It's Talking Teddy Time!

Yay. Talking Teddy
loves this show.

Well, ha, ha
of course you do.

It's your
own show!

What
an egotist.

Hi, boys and girls.
Ha, hi!

TALKING TEDDY [ON TV]:
Now, everyone, get up and dance!

Come on, guys.

Talking Teddy
wants us to dance.

Not gonna
happen, Ted.

Come on,
dance with me.

No, I'll sit
this one out.

I'm talking to you!

Let's dance.

We said, no!

Night, boys.

[all]
Night, Dave!

[light switch flicks
and door closes]

[♪♪♪]

What is that?

It's my Talking Teddy
Bright Night Bright Light.

[softly]
Teddy needs it.

No, he doesn't.

Teddy?

Do you like
your night-light?

For a pot of honey
I will!

What does that mean?

What does that mean?
What does that mean?

It means he needs
his night-light.

♪ Night-light
Sleep tight ♪

♪ You're my little
Friend tonight ♪

[groans]
[teddy repeating song]

Stop looking at me.

[song stops]

[♪♪♪]

[muffled speech]

Shh.

[Alvin]
This bear has got to go.

If we don't put
an end to this,

we're gonna be watching
Talking Teddy

on our
Talking Teddy sofa,

while drinking out of
our Talking Teddy mug,

and having our feet--

Enough, please.
I get it.

But what can we do?

Well, I was thinking
of putting in

a walkie-talkie
inside Teddy. That way--

Alvin, that's
a terrible idea.

We'd never get
the voice right.

Well, excuse me!

I'm the only one
throwing out ideas here.

I've got
the perfect idea.

Ha, oh, really!

Would you like
my help or not?

Yes.

Are you gonna drop
the attitude?

Yes.

Great. Grab the bear.

[♪♪♪]

See Simon, this is why

we're such a great team.

I'm an ideas guy,
the leader,

but also the brains.

Stop talking.
Now, get this.

I'm keeping all
the hardwiring

on the voice module
exactly the same.

But here's
the Shyamalan twist.

And now
you stop talking.

In layman's terms,
all you do

is type whatever you want
it to say right here.

Why are you wearing
a baseball cap to bed?

Why are you wearing
a baseball cap?

Because it's sewn on.

What's your excuse,
weirdo?

Ha, ha, ha.
Great work, Simon!

Hold on, hold on.

I don't know if
I trust you using it.

Simon, Theodore's
my brother too.

I only want
what's best for him.

Have a little faith.

[sighs]

Hey, Theodore, it's your night
to pick the show again.

What do you want
to watch, Talking Teddy?

[♪♪♪]

I want to watch Star Missions:
The Impossible Return.

Wait, wait, what?

Really?

Yeah, that show
looks awesome, bro.

Bro? Oh, okay.

[laser blasts on tv]

Geez, Teddy,
I didn't think

you liked
this kind of stuff.

I like it
'cause it's awesome.

Stop judging me
and enjoy the show.

Oh, you sure learned
a lot more words.

[♪♪♪]

I don't sleep with
night-lights anymore

because they're lame.

It also helps me
face my fear of the dark,

which is
more important

than whether something
is lame or not.

Okay.

Alvin, I want your room
clean today.

Oh, brother.

[♪♪♪]

Theodore, can we
clean Alvin's room?

I love to clean.

You do?
Are you sure?

Did I stutter?

No.

Alvin, give me
the keyboard!

We're done.

I should've known

you couldn't handle
this responsibility.

All right,
take a deep breath.

I'll stop
with the perks,

but we both know
we need this

if we're gonna get out of
Talking Teddy's control.

How's this? If I abuse
my power one more time,

you can just
take the keyboard.

No, Alvin!

I don't want to have
to watch you.

Exactly.
Glad we talked.

What? No, Alvin,
we're disagreeing.

[groaning]

Well, it looks
pretty clean.

Let's go outside
and play.

We forgot
the best part!

Alvin's
dirty clothes!

[Theodore]
Oh, no.

You're the greatest.

But don't tell Simon.

He creeps me out.

[gasps]

What are you doing,
Theodore?

Uh. Nothing?

So, um, Teddy been saying
anything unusual lately?

No. Stop asking
questions.

[sighs]

♪ Yeah you got me ♪

♪ Wrapped around
Your finger now ♪

♪ Yes, you do ♪

♪ Got me going crazy ♪

♪ Make me wanna
Scream and shout ♪

♪ Yes it's true ♪

♪ Ya got me runnin' ♪

♪ All over town for you ♪

♪ You got me jumpin' ♪

♪ Just say
How high to go ♪

♪ You got me workin' ♪

♪ I got
Some chores to do ♪

♪ All for your lovin' ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, I wonder ♪

♪ How did I fall under
Your spell ♪

♪ Your spell ♪

♪ Hypnotized ♪

♪ Take a look into my eyes
And you'll see ♪

♪ What have you done
You got me on my knees ♪

♪ What have you done
What have you done ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

Do you wanna watch
Talking Teddy?

No, George Washington
Werewolf Slayer.

Uh-oh. Again?

Don't tell Simon,
but I think

we should take
the money in your piggy bank

and give it to charity.

Alvin's skate park!

That's it!

[rubber glove snaps]

[electricity sizzles]

Where's the remote?

Aha! Bingo!

You're not allowed
to watch TV in the afternoon.

What?

You were mean
to Theodore,

and now you're going
to pay for it.

Aah? What?

You heard me, punk.

[screams]

Very funny, Simon.

Hand over the keyboard.

What do you mean?
You have the only one.

[laughing nervously]

Oh, yeah. Mm-hm.
There-there it is.

What's going on?

Uh. Nothing, nothing.

We're all good.

[♪♪♪]

That's right.

You're dealing
with me now.

[screams]

[sighs]

[yawns]

♪ Night-light
Sleep tight ♪

[screaming]

What is it?

Why are we screaming?

This is
a bad news bear!

He's evil
I tell you, evil!

Who? Talking Teddy?

I love you,
Theodore.

Can I have a hug?

Oh. I love
you too.

[yawns]

Don't think I forgot
about you, mister.

I'll deal with you
later.

No, no, no!

Mission accomplished.

[♪♪♪]

Where's Alvin?

He's, uh, sleeping
in the living room.

[yawns]
Good night, Theodore.

Night.

You know, Theodore,
there are lots of

other little boys
and girls who need me.

I might be able
to help more kids

if you gave me
to a daycare program.

Oh. Well, okay.

[screams]

Calm down, Alvin.

Teddy's leaving.

What?
What do you mean?

Well, he can do
more good out there,

in the real world.

He was meant for
greater things.

Oh, thank you!

Thank you!

Not that we won't
all miss him terribly.

Well, goodbye!

Out you go.
So long!

Ha, ha, ha! Yes!

Simon, did you hear
the great news?

Teddy the terrible
is gone!

And out of your corrupt,
little hands.

You should be ashamed
of yourself.

Oh, trust me, I have been
scared straight!

[Talking Teddy]
Who wants to play?

That's not funny, Simon.

It wasn't me.

Like I'm that gullible.

[Talking Teddy]
I'll be yours forever.

I'm not joking.
That's not me!

Look what was at
the toy store!

New and improved
Talking Teddy.

[screaming]

[♪♪♪]

[Dave]
Alvin? Alvin!

Theodore, have you
seen Alvin?

We're gonna be late for
the first day of school!

Uh, uh, no.

But I know
that Alvin's

not hiding
in the closet.

[Alvin]
Oh, come on, Theodore!

Let's go, Alvin.

No! You can't make me!
Come on.

[grunting]

♪ Christmas
Christmas time is near ♪

♪ Time for toys
And time for cheer ♪

[Alvin]
Please, Dave! Not school!

[Theodore]
Yeah, Dave. Not school!

[Dave]
Come on, guys, it'll be fun.

[chattering]

Hey. Looks like there's
a new principal.

Pleased to meet you.

♪ You're that kind of woman ♪

♪ That kind of woman-- ♪

Wowza.

Come on, guys.
Dave knows best.

[in unison]
See ya later, Dave!

Well, whoa,
I just wanted to say

how impressed I am

with what you've done
with the school.

Well, thank you.

But I just
started today.

Ha. So humble,
I love it.

And speaking of love,

I'd love to be
your assistant!

That's very sweet,

but I already
have an assistant.

Alrighty, well, maybe I can
show you around town.

I'm sort of
a local legend.

Please, go to class.

[laughing]

Oh, yes.
Playin' hard to get.

[teacher] Tonight's homework will be
to outline Chapter One...

[clock ticking]
[teacher speaking indistinctly]

[bell rings]

[Alvin huffing
and puffing]

Oh, yes!

[girl clears throat]

May I help you?

What are you doing here?

Uh, well, I work here.

What are you doing here?

You're her assistant?

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

And I love this job!

The badge is so shiny and...

[whispering] Well, all the cute
bad boys get sent here.

Whatever.

Britt, just tell the principal
I need to see her.

She's busy.

[grunts]

[♪♪♪]

No way.

Tickle, tickle!
Aah!

What? Oh.

[grunting]

Huh?

[panting]
[yells]

Oh, no, no, no.

Just a second,
muchacho!

Oh, Britt, please,
have a heart.

I need to see her!

Uh. She's
the principal, Alvin.

Everybody needs
to see her.

Okay! Fine!

When's her next opening?

Hmm, let's see.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

For you, uh,
next semester.

Buh-bye!

Oh!

Uh, buh-bye.

♪ You're that kind of woman ♪

[teacher]
Alvin. Alvin!

Oh. Huh?
W-w-what?

[sighs]

What did the author mean
when he wrote,

"It was
the best of times,

it was
the worst of times"?

You woke me up for that?

Principal's office!

Okay, Alvin. You're up.

Oh. Is it
next semester already?

[blows raspberry]

You have a lovely office.

But that assistant
of yours has got to go!

Have a seat, Alvin.

Oh, sorry,
sorry, stand up.

I know the first few days
back at school can be tough,

so if there are any issues
that I can help you with--

So observant,
you are a wonder.

There are
a couple of things.

So I'm travelling
through the air...

The craziest part...

Ha, ha, so, there I am,
the middle of nowhere,

performing for this children's
orphanage in Burma.

Alvin, I'm so sorry
to interrupt your story,

but I really have
to see other students.

Ha, ha, ha,
of course.

Mwah!

Adieu, my petit amour.

Until we meet again.

♪ I'd stare ya down ♪

♪ If the big, bad wolf
Was coming ♪

♪ I'd scream loud ♪

♪ Keep your paws
Off my woman ♪

♪ I'll tell ya now ♪

♪ Love will make ya do
Some crazy things ♪

♪ Love, love
Love, love, love ♪

♪ You got me going, you got me
Going out of my mind ♪

♪ Ooh girl, what's a guy
Got to do to get to ♪

♪ You girl, I wanna
I wanna love ya baby ♪

♪ I want you to
Call me your man ♪

♪ Ooh girl, baby
You don't understand ♪

♪ Oh I would do anything
Aye ♪

♪ Tell me baby
Aye ♪

♪ Wha-wha-what do I gotta do?
Aye ♪

♪ To tell me baby
Aye ♪

♪ To ge-ge-get
Close to you ♪

♪ You got me going ♪

♪ You got me going
Out of my mind ♪

♪ Ooh girl ♪

♪ Baby you
Don't understand ♪

♪ Oh I would do anything ♪

Mr. Seville,
may I speak with you

for a minute
about Alvin?

Alvin, please,
take your seat.

Shh!

Please, give me a call
if there's anything I can do.

Competition
from my own dad?

Well, the gloves
are off,

'cause two can play
at that game!

[Alvin panting]

Brittany, did she get
the flowers I sent her?

Uh, no.
It's inappropriate.

She's the principal.

Oh. What about
the chocolates?

Ah. They're delicious.

Mm. Thank you.

You have not seen
the last of me.

Ah, okay, weirdo.

Alvin, your report?

Oh no, I didn't do it.

I guess you'll
have to send me

to the Principal's
office.

Oh. New rule, Alvin.

You're not going to see
the Principal anymore.

Now sit down!

[groans]

So get this,
the Vice President Burr

challenges Hamilton to a duel,
which I don't know,

in my opinion,
that seems super extreme.

Yo, Kevin! We wrappin'
this up or what?

I hate my life.

[Alvin]
My, my! It is hot in here.

And I know
just how to cool off.

Oh, please don't.

[water splashes]

Nothing?

Obviously I'm crying out
for some discipline.

That's why
we called your father.

Alvin!

[Alvin] I can't believe
they're suspending me.

Depriving a young man
of his education.

Why, it's crim--

Who are you writing to?

It's a bill, Alvin.

A bill
or a love letter?

[nervous laughing]

Right you are.

[clears throat]

Alvin,
go do something!

Anything!

Like what?

I'm grounded, remember?

I can't watch TV.

I can't play video games.

I can't even use my phone.

I can't do anything!

Well, here's an idea.

How about finishing
your homework?

Oh.

Now that's just cruel!

Go! Please!

♪ Bonsoir
Bonsoir ♪

♪ Mam'selle
Bonsoir ♪

♪ I wish, I wish
I could speak French ♪

You have to let him
back in school.

[principal over phone]
I'm sorry.

Please.
I have to see you!

[principal over phone]
Oh, all right.

I'm having dinner
at Le Cafe.

I can meet you there
before eight.

Oh, thank you.

I'll leave right now.

I need Alvin
back in school!

You can't expect
the school

to discipline a child
that has no rules at home.

He has rules!

As we speak, Alvin's
at home doing his homework.

Are you positive
about that?

Absolutely!

Garçon.

[screams]

Aah!

Unh, why did you
do that?

Sorry, I thought
you'd want a napkin

t-to wipe the soup off.
[muffled grunting]

Are you all right?

Oh, yes!

[muttering]
Stop that!

Oh, I'm fine.

Darling?
Oh, hello, love.

[Alvin, muffled]
Love?

[man & principal scream]

Who's this guy?

Uh, this is
my husband, Alvin.

Husband? As in,
you're married?

Of course.

Why do you think
I wear a wedding ring?

Aah! I never saw that!

Oh, I guess
love is blind.

And then, you not only
sneak out of the house,

but jump in the back of the car
without telling me?

D-do you know
how wrong that is?

You're right.
Really, Alv-- Wait?

Did you just say
I-I'm right?

I get it, Dave.

Listen, Alvin,
I know it's hard,

but believe me, there are
plenty of fish in the sea.

Oh, yeah?

Ask any fisherman,

our oceans are
nearly depleted!

But I know I acted
like a complete jerk.

I just don't know
what I can do

to make it up
to everyone.

I feel like my heart's
been ripped out

and run over
by a Mack truck,

then exploded
by a b*mb

and thrown into
a blender.

Uh, been there before.

Anyway, I can't tell ya
how sorry I am.

But love is
a cruel mistress.

I'll never fall
in love again.

[blows nose]

[dog barks]

Oh, well.
Hello, gorgeous!

Hi!

[barking]

Hello! Hello?

[grunts]

Quick, how do you
get out of here?

Try the door.

Oh, ha, ha. Right.

Hey! Yoo-hoo!

Wait up.

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪

♪ Doo Doo
Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo ♪