01x06 - Sort Of Ellen

[bunniefuu]

Hey, did she ever mention
a... a friend named Penny?

Um, no.

Are you texting from Bessy's phone?

You're not pretending
to be Bessy, are you?

Oh, my God, that is so messed up!

He called it "an emotional affair".

He made it sound like Bessy leaned on him.

I seriously wish they were just f*cking.

You'd be amazed at how far we'll go
not to feel our feelings.

You're thinking
about not going to Berlin?

It just feels wrong
to not be here for them.

That family's going through a terrible time
and I'm helping them.

You wear makeup and care for children.

If you're not a girl,
what are you? Gender binary?

Did you look that up?

I just keep thinking about
all that you're doing for that family.

Stop hugging now.

You will never regret
the sacrifices you make to help people.

"Angel"
by Naji & The Kount

♪ I never said I was an angel ♪

♪ I never meant to be your hero ♪

♪ Got a secret that I couldn't tell ♪

♪ I'm real good at
keeping things to myself ♪

Hello?

Live your life.

♪ Every time
I'm feeling light on my feet ♪

♪ Something comes
and knocks me off of my balance ♪

What up, what up, what up, mortals?

Just wanna thank you so much
for attending my Ellen party.

I am seeing way too many
Pompeos out there

and not one DeGeneres, eh?

OK, OK.

Now, for those of you
wondering about me

I am Mary Ellen Pleasant

19th-century African-American
entrepreneur

and mother of human rights.
Thank you, Googles.

Clap for me.

Uh, who are you?

Ellen of Troy.

That's a "Helen", not an "Ellen".

You're too OCD about your parties

and it's pronounced "Ellen”
across the pond.

You feel it in the air, right?
The sexual tension?

7VEN INHALES It's thick.

Um, no.

You see little miss fat—-a*s over there?

Oh, yeah! Which Ellen is she?

Ellen... something.

Something, something, fencing, something.

I'm gonna f*ck my Berlin trauma away.

Heal thyself.

I just have one little request.

Um, can you be regular Sabi tonight
and not Sabrina the Teenage Mum?

What?

Oh, wow! Still answering her phone.

What do you want?

I'm lit, yo.

Good for you.

Can I leave a message
on her voicey-voice?

Why?

Just thinkin'. You never know who's gonna
come into your life and like, change it.

You think you changed Bessy's life?

And if anything were to happen to me

I'd want Bessy to have
a message with my voice on it.

What could happen to you?

Penny?

Are you in... in danger
of harming yourself?

Do you need someone to talk to?

- ♪ No, I am not what you think ♪
- Cheers!

♪ Why haven't you bought me a drink? ♪

♪ Cos you think
you the life of the party ♪

♪ That's what you want me to think ♪

Ellen of Troy?

Um, yeah!

Which Ellen are you?

I'm the great American puppeteer,
Ellen Van Volkenburg.

Oh!

What's your name?

Um, Sabi.

Sabi. Cool. I'm Juan.

- Hey.

Oh, you're yummy.

I am?

Oh, yeah.

You're kinda gross.

Oh, uh...
— But in a hot way.

Alright. Into it.

You remind me of
this puppet I built last year.

Thanks?

It's a compliment.
All my puppets are stunning.

You make puppets?

She is podiatrist. Perfect for Sabi, huh?

Hello?

So why you don't say something?

If we couldn't fix up Aqsa for marriage,
how will Sabi be different?

He's my son.
He always do what I say.

When necessary,
I know what to do to get what I want

even if I'm in different country.

We really think that's amazing.

I want space.

In the house.

SHE SPEAKS URDU contractor...

to make more space.

Main floor.

Open concept.

h*, h*!

Seriously speaking,
how much will all this cost?

And who will pay for it?

Hello?

If you feel like
you're gonna hurt yourself

you have to come and see me.

Where are you?
— Riding down your street.

You know where we live?

I promise I've never been inside.

I'm supposed to be relieved by that?

Meet me in the garage.

Want to take our masks off?

Actually, maybe no.

This is kind of hot.

You cool?

Y... yeah.

You tensed up quite a bit.

Thanks for noticing.
It's... it's just been a while.

We can stop.

I'm seriously cool with whatever.

Cos I'm your puppet.

Your Ellen puppet.

This is, like...

awkward.

Vi, wake up.

Vi, wake up.

What?

I had a bad dream.

Talk to Dad about it.

Dad's not home.

What?

I looked everywhere for him.

The kitchen, the bathroom,
his bedroom.

Do you think he left us
because we make him sad?

No, Dad wouldn't leave us.

Are we gonna get m*rder*d
cos we're alone?

No, we're not gonna get m*rder*d, Henry.

- This good?
- Yeah, yeah.

I wish I could kiss you right now.

How bad do you want it?

- A lot.
- Mm... Tell me.

God, I want to kiss you.
— Take off your mask.

Thank God he's actually cute.

— Sorry. OK. Sorry.

I just, I need a second.
I just have to...

Totally cool.

At 1am? sh*t.

What do you call that thing?
A foil?

A saber? A sword?

You didn't check the basement?

- Obviously not.
- Why "obviously not"?

I'm not going down there at night.

OK, fine. Just uh, don't move.
I'll be there in 20 minutes.

NO!
— Hey, I got to go.

You were about to get your freak on.

Well, it's the kids
and it's weirdly serious.

Sabi, you were about to have sex.

Sex is food. Food is serious.
— Well, the kids can't find Paul.

Did he die?

Oh, my God,
you think you might be dead?

No. No, he's not dead.

She said he might be in bed,
alive, sleeping.

Hang tight. I'll be there soon. Bye.

Sabi! Come back
and get your nourishment.

You hungry?

I actually just ate.

And you triple-checked all the doors
in the house are locked.

- Basically, yeah.
- What does "basically, yeah" mean?

It means basically, yeah.
- OK. And the windows are shut?

Yeah.
— So you're safe.

Stop freaking out. Henry, are you OK?

I'm eating tofu!

Wow, does anybody sleep?

Hey, my Lyft is here. I'm on my way.

Join me for a nightcap?

Yup.

So...

instead of harming yourself...

we talk.

So... I talk?

Yes.

Talk.

I'm thinking about her nonstop.

Her lying in that bed, like...

I don't know.

That's some nightmare sh*t.

I can't focus anywhere I go.

Can I ask?

How did you and Bessy meet?

"For Someone Like You"
by Mighty Haviah

♪ Secrets on my shoulders ♪

♪ Now we don't get to know ♪

♪ Way too many doors are closing ♪

And after we came out of the play

I don't remember
what the play was we saw...

I've never seen a play.

After the play, we went for a walk and...

she started talking about
all her urban design stuff

that she was super passionate about.

Density, diversity, and mix.

All the Jane Jacobs stuff.

Mm.
- And I just...

I just... I knew then that I just...

I wanted to share this woman's brain
for the rest of my life.

Who's Jane Jacobs?

She's one of Bessy's heroes.
Did you have sex with her?

Jane Jacobs?

No, with Bessy.

Cos when I met you at the park,
you said you didn't.

And that you guys were, like, friends
that just did stuff together.

Now |I'm kinda feeling like
you barely had a conversation.

You must have had sex with her
cos you're not that smart.

She would have trouble having
a conversation with you.

OK. Yeah, we did.

We had sex.

A lot of sex.
- OK, that's clear. Thank you.

Hey!

-I'm here

Um, you both OK?

Yeah.

What's up with all this tofu?

We're thinking it was
for school lunches or something.

This is your dad's phone, right?

Yeah.
- Weird.

Henry, stop chewing like that.

Stop!

Stop!

Sabi, please tell him to stop.

Alright.
You're both going to bed now, OK?

And I'll wait here
until your father gets home.

OK.
- Bed, now.

- Goodnight!
- Night.

Henry, I swear to God.
Leave your sister alone.

Thank you.

She was the instigator,
you should know.

Why would you tell me that?

I'm gonna drop some wisdom on you.

Oh, can't wait.

You need to embrace
what the universe gives you, dog.

If you fight everything, it hurts.

Resistance is what causes suffering.

You know what else causes suffering?

Your wife being in a coma, and
not knowing if she'll ever come out of it

and her brain-dead sex-toy
coming over

and talking to you
like he knows sh*t about anything.

So take your board, baby Tony Hawk...

and your flask.

Who carries a flask?

Actually, y'know what?
Give me the flask.

What are you doing out here?
Do I smell pot?

Oh, my God, you're high.

Oh, my God. OK, wow. OK.

So you're like...
you're like, high in your garage.

Do you know that your kids
called me here

because they're, like,
super freaked out

cos they think you've abandoned them?
— Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, Sabi.

Um, hey.

You knew about him?

It's the middle of the night.
What are you doing here?

I'm here for your kids,
like I always am.

You know,
it's like two in the morning.

I don't work around the clock for
you, Paul. — OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I... I... but I'm going through
the greatest sh*t storm of my life

and you know what? I'm trying.
- Right, right.

Cos you're the first person in history
to go through a sh*t storm?

OK. Right.
So when you're done, you know

judging the hell out of me as...
as a person

and a husband, and a father

then... then maybe you can explain
to me how you walked around

knowing that Bessy
was smashing my heart

and... and... and you didn't tell me?

It's not my responsibility
to tell you that.

He knows you!

What, you, like, met him?

No! Oh, my God. What?

I just... we just bumped into each other
in a coffee shop in the east end.

It was like super far east.

When am I ever that far east?
It was a total fluke.

You think I'm that kind of awful

that you don't need
to consider my feelings?

This is my family, Sabi!

And somehow,
you know more about them than I do.

Maybe don't treat people like,
I don't know

like they're an extra in your movie, Paul.

We are all here.

We're, like, all going through sh*t.

Like...

I had the chance to move to Berlin.

I could be living in Berlin right now,
but I'm not

because I wanted to be here for you.

I didn't ask you to do that.
I...

I would never ask you to give that up.

But you know what?
I didn't need you here tonight

because eventually
I would've come in the house

and then everything would be OK.

So, you know, maybe you need
to stop telling yourself

how badly this family needs you.

f*ck you.

sh*t, dog.
You would a loved Berlin.

"Angel"
by Naji & The Kount

♪ I never said I was an angel ♪

♪ I never meant to be a hero ♪

♪ Got a secret that I couldn't tell ♪

♪ I'm real good at
keeping things to myself ♪

♪ You and me, no one else ♪

♪ Treat me well, keep me close ♪

♪ Keep your makeup on the top shelf ♪

♪ Right with your jewels
and inner wisdom ♪

♪ Cos you're always leaning on me ♪

♪ Reaching ♪

Hello?

Live your life.

Hello?

Ooh. Ancient Greek chic.

Oh, um, thanks.

Please tell me the party's not dead.

Are you just getting here?

Only if you're not leaving.

Why is everyone in hospital scrubs?

They're Ellen Pompeo.

There were other Ellens earlier.

Oh, this city shuts down so early.

I, uh, actually think the sun
is starting to rise.

What's your name, baby?

Sabi.

Sabi, baby.

Um, hey, uh, what's yours?

♪ I'm dancing with the DJ ♪

♪ This might be the best night
of your life ♪

♪ This might be
the best night of your life ♪

♪ This might be
the best night of your life ♪

♪ This might be
the best night of your life ♪

♪ I'm dancing with the DJ ♪

♪ I'm dancing with the DJ ♪

♪ I'm dancing with the DJ ♪