02x12 - Last Train to Dullsville/Fred of State

[bunniefuu]

Good morning, Eastside High.

This is your class president
with some important
announcements.

First off: I continue
to smell great and be awesome.

[laughs] Let's see,
what else...

- [continues talking]
- [sighs] I can't believe

they elected
this guy over you.

And I can't believe
I agreed to be
his vice president.

Chad's so focused on himself,

he hasn't done anything
for the school.

Like fixing
the old screen door
in the library.

Also, getting those coyotes
out of the library.

I even found money
in the budget for repairs,

but Chad spent it
on his campaign

to move Taco Tuesday
to Wednesdays.

[Fred] So frustrating. [sigh]

[Chad] And in other news,
the student council

will vote on
the Taco Wednesday Amendment
this...

What the... No, no!
Get away! Get away! [screams]

[all gasp]

[Pamela] Oh no,
what happened to Chad?

Hey, a note!

"To whom it may concern:

I am taking the week off
to 'get away' to Ah-spen.

That's what I meant
when I screamed 'Ah!'

Sincerely, Chad Goldenboy,
who has definitely not been
taken against his will."

Hmm. Yeah,
I buy that explanation.

A little dramatic,
but that's Chad for you.

But without a president,
we can't conduct
any student council business.

Which means we can't hold
the Taco Tuesday vote
tomorrow!

Let me consult
the school constitution.

Ah, yes.

"In Chad's absence,
the position
of class president

will be filled by
Vice President
Winifred Grant."

Finally, a succession crisis
works out in my favor.

We've got to find out
what happened to Chad,

but in the meantime,
we can at least try to restore
some dignity to this office.

Which is...
the janitor's closet.

It can be two tings!

Also, I'm appointing you
as my Chief of Staff.

- Now, advise me.
- Well first off,

speaking of Chad's
strange departure,

I think there's more here
than meets the eye.

I mean, he plays hooky
all the time,

but never leaves such a mess.

I think we're dealing with
some sort of villainy here.

Which is why I've got
our best people on it.

Um, aren't you
supposed to be in class?

Also, how'd you get in here?

You have terrible security!

We don't want to
start a panic,

so I figured
Hamster and Gretel

could look for Chad
while you tend to your duties.

I dunno.
Whenever you guys show up,
you have the tendency to...

completely wreck the school.

What do you mean?

[♪ lively music playing]

[yells]

Everything looks bad
when you put it in a montage.

Don't worry, Madame President,
we'll protect you
and find Chad!

Very good.
And while you do that,

Kevin and I will achieve
what our school forefathers
only dreamed of:

fixing a screen door!

Hmm, not seeing any clues.
You notice anything?

Nope, but then again,
we are wearing
sunglasses indoors.

Oh wow,
here's a whole bunch of clues!

Someone, or something,
smashed this grate
from the inside.

Do you know what this means?

[sigh] We're gonna
have to crawl through
some vents aren't we?

Well, good thing
this suit's a rental.

I'm here about
the library screen door,
Funderberk.

The school needs it,
the students want it,
so I'm gonna get it.

I see. Well, I'm happy
to get the door fixed.

But I need you
to do something for me.

Something for you?

The student council
is voting to move Taco Tuesday
to Wednesday.

It's gonna be a close vote,

so I need you
to make sure it passes.

Why do you care
about Taco Tuesday?

I can't stand
the alliteration!

It annoys me, always has.

Pretty petty pet peeve
for a principal.

You get the council on board
and I'll cement your legacy.

So... to get my door,

I've gotta pour myself
into a cause

I don't care about
in the slightest.

Welcome to politics, Fred.

[sigh] Fine,
but just this once.

[♪ instrumental music playing]

♪ Well there's been
a lot of talk around ♪

♪ The lunchroom
and the lockers ♪

♪ There's been a lot of talk
about tacos ♪

♪ 'Cause there's been
a lot of taco talkers ♪

♪ The student council's
all atwitter ♪

♪ 'Cause there's
serious issues ♪

♪ We should
probably consider ♪

♪ We could
fix the screen door
and keep coyotes ♪

♪ Out of the school library ♪

♪ But apparently first
there's an issue
more necessary ♪

♪ Tacos don't have to be
on Tuesday ♪

♪ That's just alliteration
we can try a different day
of the week ♪

♪ We can break
from tradition ♪

♪ We can make it our mission ♪

♪ Just to give this school
a little mystique ♪

♪ Remember common wisdom
is not that wise ♪

♪ So don't listen to
what your friends say ♪

♪ Just vote your conscience
and vote for Taco Wednesday ♪

♪ 'Cause tacos
don't have to be on Tuesday ♪

♪ No they don't ♪

- [Gretel] See anything?
- [Hamster] Let me check.

Just more vents,
same as the last hour.

Ya know, you're like,
four inches tall.

- You could just walk.
- Then I look like the jerk.

Yeah, right, I'm crawling.

It's getting down to the wire,
where are we with

- the student council votes?
- Uh-huh. I'll ask.

Tucker says he'll vote
for Taco Wednesday

if you endorse his cupcakes
at the next bake sale!

Madame President,
pivoting to cupcakes
makes you look weak.

We need to stick with cookies.

Stick with cookies?
That's nuts!

Why don't we
dress up like gorillas

and dye our hair purple
while we're at it?

Don't threaten me
with a good time!

Enough! I'll endorse
the dumb cupcakes,

or whatever,
just get his vote!

- Yes, madame president.
- We're on it!

Who are those guys?

I have no idea.
What's the count?

With Tucker,
that brings us to six!

We're just one vote away
from making Taco Wednesday
a reality.

Amazing what you can do
when you walk down a hallway
and talk fast!

Glad you're having fun.

I don't know how much more
of the democratic process
I can take.

- Any updates on the mission
to find Chad?
- [glass breaks]

Yes, we renamed it
Operation Bring Back
Goldenboy.

- It polled better.
- All right,

one student council
vote to go.

Who's next on the list?

Pamela Ryan.

Hey Fred! Kevin.

You're not asking me
on another fake date, are you?

No, no.
I'm just here
on business.

- Bummer.
- Student council votes for

the Taco Wednesday amendment,
and we need yours.

Well, sorry, guys.
I want to keep Taco Tuesday
on Tuesday.

Get with the program, Pamela.

We're only one vote away
from making Taco Wednesday
a reality.

So why go to bat
for a lost cause

- when you can get on the team?
- The winning team!

Only one more vote, huh?

Well, in that case,
let's walk and talk.

You've certainly wasted
no time getting to work.

I admire that in a president.

Uh, thanks.
So, about the vote--

I was never cut out for that.

See, I'm more of
a background player
at this school.

Nobody notices,
nobody cares,
but here I am.

- Working. Planning.
Getting it done.
- [grunting]

And why do I do it?

Because you're a middle child?

No, I do it for Taco Tuesday.

It's the perfect
mid-week snack!

Monday is too early,
Wednesday is too late,

which is why every Tuesday
you find tacos on my plate.

But when I found out
Chad and Funderberk

were plotting to push
my treasured Tuesday treat
to Wednesday,

I knew I had to do something.
Something drastic.

Which brings us here.

Hey, how'd we get in
the boiler room?

You can do anything
when you walk down a hallway
and talk fast.

Why, you could even take
the class president.

[laughs]

- What? You were behind
Chad's disappearance?
- Where is he?

Sup! I got suspended, get it?
[laughs]

Humor's the only thing
getting me through
this dark time.

Pamela, this has gone too far!

How? Everyone gets
what they want.

I get Taco Tuesday,
you get to be president,

and Chad gets to cut class!

Join me, Fred!

Together, we can
rule the school!

Since I became president,
I've had to compromise,

say things I don't believe,
and eat many, many tacos!

But I did all that
to make the school
a better place.

And as shocked
as I am to say it,

tying up Chad Goldenboy
in the boiler room

doesn't make the school
a better place.

So, yeah, no,
I am not cool with this.

Also, how'd you get
Chad in here?

You were in class with us!

Like this!

[Kevin shrieks]

Where'd you even get this?

Like my grandpa always said,

if you're gonna have
an evil scheme,

get a Bolgylvanian
personal security drone!

How oddly specific.

And best of all,
I can control it

using these special glasses!

Watch!

Now, I'll just keep you
all here til the vote.

And... I'll figure
the rest out later.

We heard everything!

Hey! Hamster and Gretel?

No glasses,
no way to control robot.

And no senseless destruction.

But without a control unit,

the drone will shift into
its default mode:

senseless destruction!

Well, that's not good.

[all screaming]

Stop, stop!

I wanted Taco Tuesday,
but not like this!

I'm sorry, guys,
I don't know what to do!

Uh, me neither,

but I know a way
to figure it out quick!

- To the hallway!
- No worries,

I'll keep hanging around.

[chuckles]

Pamela, did that robot come
with an owner's manual?

Yes, I have it right here!

- sh**t, no glasses.
- I'm on it!

Aha! "If control glasses
are lost,

robot will destroy
all life forms

detected by
its forward sensor."

Wait, its forward sensor!

- We just need to disable it!
- But how?

By staying on message.

[grunting]

[grunting]

Hey, drone!

Taco La Vista, baby.

[Drone] Wait!
But today not Taco Tuesday...

Nice save, madame president.

Thanks, Fred. And look,

we protected you
and found Chad
without wrecking the school!

To be fair,
that was mostly the robot.

I should probably
get back to class.

See ya!

Hey, Fred, about earlier,

I might have gotten
a little carried away.

You've got my vote.

Glad to have you
on board, Pamela.

- I just have
one small favor...
- [camera clicks]

[Chad on PA] Eastside,
this is your class president

with an important
announcement:

I'm your president again!

And... we got Taco Wednesday!

[all cheering]

[Chad] All, thanks to me,
President Chad.

It was nice of you
to pardon Pamela.

Well, we needed her vote.

[Chad] However, because
outgoing president Grant

used up a semester's worth
of tacos in three hours,

Taco Wednesday
will now be Waffle Wednesday!

No! No!

[workman] Dude!

Too bad your administration
only lasted one day.

Sometimes, a day
makes all the difference
in the world.

- [coyotes howling]
- Though we probably
should have gotten

all the coyotes out
before we fixed the door.

- [snarling]
- Shh!

[coyotes shut up and whimper]

[♪ theme music playing]