04x11 - Teambuilding

[bunniefuu]

Hold all my calls.

[giggles]

♪ Boss Baby ♪

♪ I'm the Boss, Boss Baby, boss, boss
Boss Baby, boss, boss ♪

♪ Watch a itty-bitty kid get large ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ Stroller rolling
Up and down the boulevard ♪

♪ I'm the big Boss Baby in charge ♪

♪ I run this house, I rule this crib ♪

♪ Change my diaper, son
Where's my bib? ♪

♪ Don't pacify
You just got to pay me ♪

- ♪ Who's in charge? ♪
- ♪ Me, the Boss Baby ♪

[gasps]

- Thanks for the lift.
- [babbling]

My story? Long and tragic.
You see... Oh, this is your stop?

[sighs]

Baby Corp's offices have been taken over
by a wicked conglomeration...

Puppy Co, those Pyg and Tam maniacs,
and, cover your ears if you must...

a consultant.

[crying]

The enemies sabotaged our chupies!

They scattered my employees,
gah-gah knows where.

- I barely escaped...
- [giggles]

Stop it. And now I have no way to...

Aw! Stop!

No way to get back or find my employees.

Aah! I'm not your stuffie!

Helping babies has always
been my raison d'être, but...

now my soul feels like a raisin...
shriveled, ruining cookies.

[coos]

Well, there's always some way
to help a baby, I suppose.

Here you...
[groans]

- [gasps]
- [Elise screams]

I used to be good at this, I promise.

[crying]

Take care, Elise! Sorry about the duck.

[coos]

[sighs]

- You okay?
- Been better.

- Where's everyone else?
- Follow me.

This is all that's left?

Well, we're the ones who thought
to make it to your house

after the chupies went haywire.

Bad guys jammed our monitors, too.
We're in the dark.

No brothers? Now my brain now work bad.
Tummy sickies.

I hear you, one of the triplets.
But some of us made it here.

And others will come!
We will get stronger!

For we are Baby Corp.
We may be five now, but soon we'll...

Uh, let's get out there and...

[sighs]

Are you okay, Boss?

Of course, I am.
Leadership is like breathing to me.

So, friends, Baby Co,
um, we are the ones...

[sighs]
I can't do it.

- What's wrong?
- I don't know.

Ooh!

Psst.

Meet you in my room?
I got to go talk to some tree babies.

[laughs]

I used to call them that, too.
Turns out the word is "acorns."

Have a good chat!

[Tim] What's going on?

Long story, but the short version
is Baby Corp got scattered

and your brother needs your help.

Um... Sure, maybe,
but the thing is it's just...

[Ted] Danny Petrosky
is moving away tomorrow.

Tim needs to spend the day with him,
because every moment is precious.

One day everyone may get scattered by
technologic sabotage,

and you won't be able to tell them
everything you should've,

and it'll be all your fault
because you failed them as a leader!

Or your friend could move away, same diff.

- We got this, Templeton.
- You're sure? Because...

I'm sure. Go make some memories.

Tomorrow I'm all in with you guys,
but you won't need me

'cause you're the best
and will solve everything, bye!

Tomorrow could be too late!

Our enemies will only get more powerful
now that they have our office.

- And all our sweet tech!
- They could strike at any moment!

What do we do?

[Staci] Boss!

The five suit challenge?
Couch bowling? Pizza tacos? Yes!

Everything we've ever wanted
to do together.

And we have one day left to do it all,

starting with big old number one
greatest thing on the list...

write a bro-jam for the ages!

Let's do that right now!

I already know the first chord.

- That's amazing!
- Now, what should the first word be?

Um...

- I got it. Bros.
- ♪ Bros... ♪

Okay, uh, now what?

♪ Bros, rockin' all day,
Rollin' all night ♪

And then...
♪ Feeling all right ♪

Aah!

- What's wrong?
- It's all clichés!

The chords, the words. There's no meaning.

It means we're rockin' and rollin' bros!

- I think it's good.
- Good? This has to be for the ages!

From the biblical time of horses
to the first colony of moon horses.

I don't think we've lived enough
to write a song like that.

Yet! We're doing this backwards.

If we want to write an immortal bro-jam,
we have to live the bro life first.

Let's go find inspiration
from the sweet nectar of life experience!

[woman over TV] All right, Gregory,
let's stump that chimp!

Here's your first monkey challenger:
Dr. Banana!

- Heh. He's no doctor.
- I've been looking everywhere for you!

- What are you doing?
- Making a big decision.

- Should I root for Gregory or the chimp?
- What? Okay, enough. Come on!

- I might be Team Greg.
- [groans]

That monkey is so smug.

Our team is still scattered.

We need an action plan.
Every second counts!

[Greg over TV] I'll take "Banana Parts"
for 50.

Greg, "Banana Parts"?

You think that's the category
to stump Dr. Banana?

- Boss! Yo!
- I know. I want me off this couch, too.

Unfortunately, failure is a shackle.
And this is a snackle.

[Staci] Aah! Right now!

We're at the tipping point between a world
with Baby Corp and a world without!

What happens if we're not out there
fighting for baby love?

Pet baby, meet the newest addition
to our family, a brand-new... puppy!

[barks]

[doorbell rings]

- I caught it pooping in my yard.
- [coos]

I am so sorry.

Oh, honey, look at this adorable old!

Oh, that's the cutest old I've ever seen!

Aw, shucks!

[coos]

Down, baby, down!
We're trying to feed the... hamburger!

Aw. I wuv our wittle hamburger!

Well, it could happen.
The world needs Baby Corp.

What Baby Corp? The four of you
who cared enough to come back?

Four, Stace, out of the whole company.
Who am I leading?

Hi. I'm Marsha Krinkle
with this Channel 8 news break.

Hairless forest creature,
first sighted outside Chicago.

The beast appears to be on a path
headed straight to our town! Yowza!

Is that...

Police report increased
cookie thefts along its route.

Earning this beast
the nickname "Cookiecabra."

- Oh, yeah, that's Jimbo.
- He's running here? From outside Chicago?

You know it won't just be Jimbo.
The team is out there.

They want to fight. They just need someone
to show them the way back.

Staci, I believe we can... Go ahead and...

I decree...

You just need to get a couple of wins
under your belt. Come on!

With no Baby Corp tech,

I've been searching for lost worker babies
the old fashioned way... telephone.

Hello there. This is a grown-up adult
in the same town as you.

Have you seen any babies
in business clothing?

- Police scanner.
- We've got a zero-zero-zero in progress.

- That means I'm hungry for three donuts!
- And newspapers.

I found a food review about dainty
desserts showing up at a local restaurant.

"Oaty cereal rounds floating in
splattered applesauce"? That's Dondre!

- Go bring him home, Boss!
- I will.

The rest of you should... you know, um...
Here... There...

- Split up? Cover more ground?
- Yeah, sure.

One pizza, chopped up into bits,
served in crunchy taco shells.

We, um... don't have that.

My good man, this is the last day

my friend and I are able
to spend together.

- But we don't have that.
- I see you have pizza.

You also appear to have
crispy-shell tacos.

- Yes?
- Voìla!

We'll gladly pay a premium

and tip the chef
for the custom preparation.

Right away, sir.

We ordered pizza tacos
and he called us sir! I feel like a king.

Quartered grapes on grahams!

Mmm. Delicate! Decadent! Dondre!

- Ah, Boss Baby!
- Impressive work.

- I don't know how you do it.
- Thank you!

I sneak into the kitchen late at night
and prepare the most wonderful desserts.

Look at the joy I bring people.

We could use those dishes back
at Baby Corp.

Come on. Let's go.

Baby Corp? What I am but a servant?

Did you see my review in the paper?
Here I am a genius!

You are! But we need you back.

There comes a thing to... Babies need...

[Ted] Uh, hold up. Um...

I am happy here.

Understood.

- Woah!
- Woah!

- Woah!
- Woah!

Woah!

[overlapping dialogue]

Hey, hey, hey, welcome back, everyone!
Good work.

I found an intern in a big mailbox!

I found three of them
jammed in a tube slide!

- How did you do, Boss?
- Failed.

Par for the course
at Boss Baby Pines Country Club.

Throw him an easy one, man.
He just needs a shot at victory.

Yo, Double-B, police report
two possible tiny trespassers

at the old Bubbeezee headquarters.

Oh, yeah? I'd bet my salary
that's Frankie and Simmons.

Peg and Chip!

- Boss!
- So happy you're okay!

- What a thing with the chupies, huh?
- I zapped into a fisherman's gut bucket!

Come on. Let's go.
We're getting the team back together.

- We're good.
- Yeah. We'd rather stay here.

- Uh... This is an empty office.
- I know! It's so quiet here.

No co-worker drama,
definitely no puppies and preeks.

- We're going to take care of all that.
- How?

With the power of...

[sighs]

I can't believe the window washers
are letting us do this!

Dump it!

And... go!

How many have you brought back? Be honest.

Let's just say more than some?

[yowls]

But don't worry about it!
You'll bring back 20 babies next time!

Looks like there's a new mannequin
at Junior Fancy's.

Hello, good sir.

My friend and I would like
to try on five suits.

[both] At the same time!

- Come on, Amal! Please come with me?
- Don't blow my cover!

So, to be clear,
you would rather stand still forever

than help me take back Baby Corp?

There's a comfort in letting go.

[sighs]
Godspeed, Amal.

Or, I guess, God-stand-still.

This is truly one of the greatest things
we've ever done.

Dad! Come back?

No, I'm going to stick with the old raft.
It feels like a vacation.

[Ted sighs]

So, you're staying? Here? As a dog?

- [imitates dog] Bark, bark, bark.
- [yells]

I'm just a diggety doggity,
and my name is Bicycle the dog.

- [boy imitates dog] Arf, arf, arf.
- [sighs]

Aw, man.

Taking a break
from all the baby retrieving?

All the employees are scared.

It'd be hard for anyone
to coax them back to Baby Corp.

- Psst. We all clear, Stace?
- Yeah. Go ahead.

Fine. You're not at your best right now.

Neither was I after that Small Pocks
diaper marketing disaster.

But who brought me back?

Somebody a lot better at the job
than I am right now.

You're still the same you.

You've just got some dumb nugget
in your brain

blocking the genius from coming through.

What's it gonna take
to knock that nugget out?

Divine intervention? Ah! What?

This is a sign.

That you should help us.
Because we are stuck in a tree.

[both giggles]

- [clatters]
- Oh!

Well, I feel ready to write
an epic bro-jam for the ages.

No. There's one more thing we must do...
the airing of the beefs.

For our friendship to survive,
we must hash out our disagreements.

We must light a candle to the farts
we have unleashed upon each other!

You sure this is a good idea?

What if wind up even madder at each other
than we were when we got mad?

Exactly why I've assembled
a panel of impartial judges.

To the community center to air the beefs!

[farts]

[laughs]

What was that?

Ah. I was hoping it'd be beefier,
for effect.

Kind of surprised to see you all, sir.

I assumed the board would be
in some executive panic room bunker.

And we were, until Hermano Menor got
lured out with a duckie toy on a string.

And the duckie looked so fun and friendly!
I figured we must be safe.

Out he goes, in come our enemies,
and, well, here we are.

Bright side: the bad guys
let me keep the duckie.

Am I embarrassed? Yes.
But what can you do?

Hermano Menor is my brother,

and there is no shame
in sticking by your family.

[sighs]

This entire thing happened
because I put helping my brother

before protecting Baby Corp.

I know. Why do you think
I'm telling you this story?

It's an illustrative example
meant to apply to your situation.

You guys got that, right?

- Completely!
- Totally. Makes sense.

Um... Your Majesty, or whatever,

wonder if you could put
a little more mustard on that.

- BB's really in a funk.
- Staci!

Like, tell him he's the greatest CEO
of all time or something.

- Well, now it's not going to be sincere.
- But, Staci, I already did.

Baby love fuels Baby Corp,
but family love creates baby love.

Boss Baby is a master of both.
He makes both stronger.

Um, could you just say the thing Staci?

You are the greatest CEO of all time.

Yes! Let's save Baby Corp!

[clears throat]

Myself, Midge Marksberry, and Officer Doug
will help air the beefs

standing in the way of eternal friendship
between Mr. Petrosky and Mr. Templeton.

- Now, who would like to go first?
- You have to call on one of us.

We need this process to be
as impartial as possible.

[indistinct chattering]

We choose the Templeton boy.

Okay.

[sighs]

Danny, when we were in preschool,

you ripped
my "Biggest Little Froggy" book.

- You told me to!
- Why would I do that?

- You handed it to me and said "rip it."
- Stop lying and apologize!

Can we talk about how this one
pasted my shoe onto my face?

- That was an accident.
- How can that be an accident?

By me accidentally pasting
a shoe to your face.

Let me tell you
what Baby Corp means to me.

It's not just a workplace. It's a family.

And no one in a family should go
without feeling appreciated.

So, thank you, Dondre.

The extravagance you bring
to your executive dining room

inspires babies to rise to the top.

I will follow you, Boss Baby,

but only because this dessert
has been destroyed by my joyful tear.

I will take that as a win.

I will never talk to you again!

I didn't steal
your grandfather's steelie sh**ter marble!

Well, I did steal
your remote control snake.

I know!
So I ripped that "Number One Ragamuffin"

patch off your jacket.

That's why I stole your shoes
with sweet pockets in them.

Now you know why I took
the candy your dad brought you

from the vending machine
at the military base in the Earth's core!

Shh! Not around the government!

Tension, anxiety, unpredictability.

Am I talking about a workplace
or a family? I don't know!

But what I do know is that
without your ruthlessness, Chip,

and without your tenacity, Peg,
we will never take back our home.

The Baby Corp family needs you.
To victory!

Who gets dibs
on an entire bucket of chicken?

Someone trying to enjoy life
to the fullest!

- Boys! We feel...
- Let's get back to my steelie sh**ter.

I didn't steal it!

- Do you want our friendship to fail?
- Of course not.

Then why won't you admit you stole
my steel marble family heirloom?

Because I didn't steal it! I swallowed it.

[all gaps]

Why wouldn't you just tell me?

I thought I could use the marble
to see the back of my teeth

after you said there were little
green critters that lived back there.

I stand by that.

Well, I lost my grip on the marble
and it slid down my throat.

I almost died!

And a few days later, it came out
from the other end, into the toilet.

I was too embarrassed
and way too grossed out to fish for it.

I'm sorry for not telling you the truth
about pooping your marble.

I forgive you.

I hereby declare
all beefs successfully aired.

Let friendship ring!

Epic bro-jam!

Oh!

[all laugh]

- Oh, look at that baby!
- Aw. My... h*, h*!

I could give you
a big inspirational speech, or...

[sniffs]

Bark, bark, bark!

- [boy imitates dog] Arf!
- He says he'll come back!

[imitates dog] Woof!

But he still has
some doggy business first?

- Bark, bark, bark!
- What's that, boy? You found Jimbo?

What? Is that true?

[sniffs]
Woof!

- Jimbo!
- Boss! Get me out of here!

You've become a legend, Jimbo!
[groans]

- They're calling you the Cookiecabra.
- [gasps]

- I've never been legendary before!
- [groans]

Is everyone else okay?

Safe in my family's basement.

- [groans]
- [imitates dog] Bark, bark, bark...

You always wanted to be a dog!
[giggles]

I'm so proud!

[all groan]

- It's no use. I need a big kid.
- I'll wait here!

That's the most epic bro-jam chord
I've ever heard!

- Wait until you hear the next one!
- [Ted babbling]

Uh. Just a sec.

I need your help.

But Danny and I are finally writing
our epic bro-jam.

Three minutes.

[sighs]

I got to help my brother.
I'll see you in three minutes.

You'll see me in two and a half.

Because you're taking Thunder Dumpling.

- There you go.
- Ooh!

Thank you, Tim! Thank you, Boss!
You're the best, Boss.

For some reason, hearing that from you
makes me finally believe it.

Gotta get back to Danny, you guys
have fun, I can help tomorrow, bye!

Danny?

[Danny] "Dearest Timothy,
due to reports of the Cookiecabra,

a harbinger of government scientists,

my dad had to pull us out of here, stat.

I miss you already, buddy.
Take care of Thunder Dumpling.

She's yours now.

Heart, heart. Skull.
Flaming guitar. Danny."

[car engine starts]

[dramatic music]

I'm... so sorry.

I just wanted us to be able
to say goodbye the way we wanted to.

I get that.

Can I show you something
that might cheer you up just a little?

- [overlapping dialogue]
- Woah. Is that everyone?

They all came back.

Babies of Baby Corp, you may have noticed
I haven't been at my best.

Heck, I've been a mess!

But this experience
has made me realize something.

I'm no longer the right leader
for this company.

I'm retiring from Baby Corp.

- Retiring?
- Aah! Do not say those words!

Not right now!

What am I going to keep you all in
my parents' basement gathering dust? No!

When I say goodbye, I'm going
to say goodbye the way I want to.

We're going to take back Baby Corp.

And we're going to hit
that beautiful Yellow 100.

Are you with me, babies?

- [all cheer]
- Shh! My parents are upstairs!

[all cheering weakly]

[closing theme music]

♪ Boss Baby ♪