03x01 - The Convention

[bunniefuu]

[Gómez] I heard a new character
moved into your building.

IN THE PREVIOUS SEASON

The cost of maintenance fees
surprises me. Where's all the money going?

[Beba] He says that having
an owners' association president...

-[Eliseo] With some discretion...
-...encourages corruption.

I think you and I, Doctor,

have a common problem.

-Hi.
-[Zambrano] Hi.

Good morning.

[Eliseo] Don't you have a charity
foundation?

The Ayudando Foundation.

I've never liked people
whose work is being a good person.

They're the worst.

Hey, man! Who do you think you are?

Dear Uncle, I finally found you.

I want to offer you a job.

What time is it?

-Phew!
-[taser buzzing]

f*ck me!

Beba, it's me.

Beba!

-[Eliseo] Beba left me everything?
-Everything.

[Eliseo] At the next
owners' association meeting,

vote for me to be on the owners' council.
Are we clear?

[Messina] Is anyone else interested
in running for the position?

I think there's the perfect guy.
Matías Zambrano.

-What do you need?
-[Lucila] To inspect your apartment.

Get in, please.

[Messina] The owners' association
considers you might have

an illness that may be dangerous
for everyone.

-[grunts angrily]
-[chuckles]

[Eliseo] A Valencian paella.

Too many peas for my taste.

[Rosenberg] We conclude that the patient

does not show any signs compatible
with a psychopathological disorder.

Dr. Zambrano

not only blackmailed the providers
to inflate the budgets,

but he threatened me too.

-Why are you here?
-[Romina] To tell the truth.

To say you're obsessed with Eliseo.

Can we talk outside?

Get the maid to comfort you, as*h*le.

I'm sad you're leaving, Doctor.

-Go f*ck yourself.
-You're angry.

[Lucila] I know perfectly well
you're a dark and dangerous guy.

[Eliseo] You don't f*ck with Eliseo,
m*therf*ckers.

[laughing]

[Eliseo] It's all good!
It was just a joke.

Have fun, watch, comment.

I'll take care of living.

ARGENTINA'S SUPERINTENDENTS' UNION

MR. ELISEO OMAR BASURTO

[windshield wiper squeaking]

Comrade Eliseo, good morning.

Hello. How can I help you?

Your day has come, Eliseo.

We have something for you.

An official notification from the union.

What's this?

-Open it and take a look.
-No, I'll read it later.

Go ahead, read it now.

INVITATION

"Dear Mr. Basurto.

"We are pleased to cordially invite you
to participate as a speaker

"in the 7th Inter-American Convention
of Horizontal Property Superintendents

"organized by... blah, blah, blah.

"The convention will be held...

"in Rio de Janeiro."

-Okay, perfect.
-Are you going?

It's all expenses paid.

I don't know. I have lots to do.

I have to go back to work. Anything else?

No, that's all.

-All right. Thank you. Goodbye.
-Okay.

And don't ever park the car
in the driveway again,

-or the owners won't be able to exit.
-Okay.

Thank you.

What's that letter?

It's an invitation I just got.

A superintendents' convention?

I can see that the older you get,
the dumber you become.

Don't tell me you've joined a union.

No, Bebita.

You know I'm against all those groups
that claim to represent people's rights.

There's no one better to represent you
than yourself, Beba.

You could use a vacation
after 30 years of scheming and plotting,

you dirty rat.

You're wild today, Beba.
Yes, very aggressive.

I still miss you, though.

Son of a b*tch.

What you miss is that shitty ricotta cake
I used to make you.

Why don't you use the trip
as an opportunity

to shave
that military officer's moustache?

You look like Videla.

[chuckles]

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Maybe. Yes.

Yeah, that I could do.

[♪ theme music playing]

THE BOSS 3

[♪ bongos playing]

[♪ upbeat festive music playing]

[Eliseo] So, is this supposed to be nice?

[♪ smooth relaxing music playing]

[people chattering indistinctly]

[woman and child arguing indistinctly]

[dog barking]

[waves crashing]

[grumbles]

No, I don't like it.

Relax, it's only a few days, Eliseo.

At least try to enjoy it.

[grunts]

[mumbling] God damn it.

[telephone ringing]

[both speaking in Portuguese]

-Yes. Room number, please.
-Yes.

[speaking in broken Portuguese]

Dois, oito.

[in Spanish] Yes, how can I help?

Yes, eu don't want anyone
to come into my room,

not even the maids.

I propose that you provide me
with basic cleaning products,

and eu will take care of everything.
Tá bom?

I'm very sorry, sir,

but due to our hotel policy,
I can't satisfy your request.

But I assure you
that our cleaning staff is very thorough.

You and I must have a different idea
of the meaning of the word "thorough".

You offered me a 30-square-meter room.

And, according to my measurements,

the room is 27 square meters.

-Sorry, Mr. Basurto.
-Basurto, yes.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience.
I believe those are rough estimates.

What we can do to compensate you
for the misunderstanding

is to give you a one-hour kayaking trip
and a Zumba class for free. Is that okay?

No, I think it's muito bad.
There's no misunderstanding.

Thirty square meters is 30 square meters,
here and anywhere in do mundo.

Do you understand when eu fala?

-Yes, I understand.
-Okay.

Ah.

You left the Holy Bible
on my bedside table.

-Yes.
-I don't want it. I don't need it.

Got it?

I apologize.

[♪ mischievous music playing]

[Garrido] Eliseo.

My friend.

Garrido, what's up?

Here I am,
supporting this very good initiative.

I didn't know there were others here.

I'm not the only one.

Look.

[Garrido] Aren't you hungry?

Yes, I am.

But I don't have
that voracity you guys have.

Not even a python eats that much.
What are you mixing in there?

Pork, feijoada, couscous,

Roquefort, some other cheese,
some ham slices,

and alligator picadinho.

I have feijoada, chicken, spaghetti...

Don't know what this is,
but it looks good.

Tomatoes, Roquefort, ham,
a bit of everything.

"A bit of everything."
Frankly, that's obscene.

That's why we came, to treat ourselves.

That's not a treat, it's disgusting.
You're ravenous lions.

Don't listen to him.
Did you see his beard?

Eliseo is having an existential crisis.
He's talking sh*t.

Finish eating
and go screw yourself, Gómez.

[door unlocks]

[door closes]

[footsteps approaching]

"To whom it may concern.

"I've decided to clean my own room,

"so vocês understand
the standard I expect to find.

"I invite you to imitate it.
Cumprimentos, Eliseo Omar Basurto."

[♪ relaxing tropical music playing]

The water is beautiful.

[Gómez grunts and exhales]

You know, I understand, Gómez,

that at your age,
you look in the mirror and say,

[Gómez panting]

"If I have to see this
every day of my life,

"I might as well let others see it too",
just because you're so bitter.

But it's very unsightly, Gómez.
Cover up, please. Don't be such a bumpkin.

Don't look at me if you don't like it.

I have to keep my chestnut tan.

Dear God. To top it all off,
there are no sewers here.

Where do you think all the sh*t goes?

Into this sea you love so much.

You're the life of the party
on vacation, aren't you?

You're the very image
of happiness, Eliseo.

[chuckles]

Do you think I need to flee my home
and go to a beach to have fun?

No, sir.

I just need to be with myself, that's all.

I'm not like those poor devils

who wait for a whole year
to have 10 days of vacation

and then they spend the remaining


I spend my vacation right here, Gómez.

-[grunting]
-Where are you going?

To bathe in sh*t.

You're busting my ba*ls, Eliseo.

But cover up, look at...

-Don't show that body.
-[Gómez scoffs]

[Mónica] Welcome to
a new Inter-American Convention

of Horizontal Property Superintendents.

My name is Mónica Bacigalupo.

I'm the union's Secretary of Tourism,
Recreation and Leisure.

I'd like to introduce
our speakers for today.

From Brazil, Juscelino Renán Costa,

head of the "Interpersonal Relations
with Owners" panel.

[audience applauding]

From Mexico, Álvaro Ortiz Camacho,

head of "Ethics
and Anti-Corruption Training."

[audience applauding]

From Argentina, Eliseo Omar Basurto.

You must have heard of him
because he's the man

who heroically rescued
a kid from a fire in his building.

[all applauding loudly]

It is not allowed to exchange

unauthorized tangible goods
in favor of a third party

with the purpose of guaranteeing
any benefit or profit,

intended to achieve...

[Eliseo internally]
You're such a bore, Mexican.

To keep the janitor's figure
from being unjustly stigmatized,

we must act ethically, with integrity
and honesty in the workplace.

[Eliseo] Who the hell cares
about being stigmatized?

Find yourselves a real problem, please.

The truth is that building superintendents
are an endangered species.

Owners are doing
everything they can to eradicate us.

They want to force us to retire,

or hire cleaning services to replace us.

[Eliseo] You're such a crybaby, garoto.
Please, stop.

[people chattering indistinctly]

I've been carefully listening
to all of you these past few days,

and I've had enough.

You've done nothing but whine.

The owners' association,
the administration, the owners.

It's all pointless weeping.

Organizing conventions, writing
repudiation letters, gathering signatures,

it all leads absolutely nowhere.

Problems are solved with facts, not words.

So, if the profession is becoming extinct,

it's because of wimps like you
who couldn't defend it.

But don't worry.

Have fun these days.

Enjoy.

Go soak your feet in the sea.

Drink some caipiroskas.

Eliseo will handle it.

Thank you, that's all.

-[crowd murmuring indistinctly]
-[person cheering faintly]

Now we'll have a 15-minute break
and we'll continue afterwards.

[♪ mischievous music plays]

[zips bag closed]

Bye, sea.

You're a big boring piece of sh*t.

I don't like you.

I'm never coming back.

[♪ suspenseful music plays]

[airplane taking off]

[birds chirping]

[mop swishing]

[car door opens]

[car door closes]

Get out of the apartment now.

-Okay, thank you.
-Thank you.

I thought you'd be here tomorrow.
Did you decide to return earlier?

No, I didn't.

I told you I'd come tomorrow

to see if you were doing
your job properly.

Eliseo, there was no need.

It's just a precaution.

Wait. Before you go in,
how did the convention go?

Awful, but it was good for me.
Now I know exactly what I have to do.

What you have to do with what?

You'll soon find out.
New things are coming.

Hey, wait, wait.

-I have to tell you something.
-What?

The plants, the privets
are full of aphids again.

-You can tell me later. Don't worry.
-No, but...

-The beard looks great, Eliseo.
-Thanks.

[Miguel sighs]

God!

[exhales]

[hesitates] Eliseo! Let me get your bag.

What's this?

You should tell me
if you're bringing someone.

Eliseo, this is Lola. Well, Dolores.

She's a friend who had an emergency

and needed to use the bathroom
for a few minutes.

Dear, please get dressed
and leave as soon as possible.

And hang the towel out to dry
or it'll smell bad.

Okay.

[stammering] Eliseo, I'm sorry.
I swear I can explain all this.

You don't have to explain.
The situation speaks for itself, Miguel.

What you did is unbelievable.

You used an empty apartment
for your personal benefit.

You crossed the line, you crossed it bad.

You're right, but I can clean everything
and leave it as it was.

No, there's no need.

You're done for the rest of the day
and until further notice. Come.

[♪ tense music plays]

[machine beeping continuously
in background]

[inaudible]

[door opens and closes]

Come here.

I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your home.

There's a lot you don't know, Dolores.

First of all,

be very careful with this guy.

He's not a bad person, he's good,

but he has many flaws, you know?

He's not the sharpest tool in the box.

He's not well-off financially.

He thinks he can achieve more,
but he comes up short. He can't.

Personal hygiene, six out of 10.

Careful there.

He's doesn't have a mind of his own.

He repeats
whatever he hears on the street.

He's loyal.

That's a relief.

You call him
and he comes running like a dog.

With a good system
of rewards and punishments,

you'll have him eating out of your hand.

-Is that clear?
-Okay.

Thanks for the information.

You're welcome. Go, darling.

I just wanted you to know.

-Mr. Gonzalo, how are you?
-Hi, Eliseo.

Nice to see you.

[gasps]

[fake crying]

[laughs silently]

Oh, Miguel, Miguel.

What a permanent disappointment.

[Eliseo narrating] I'm sure everyone
thought Eliseo was depressed,

unmotivated or bored.

No, people, not at all.
I was just meditating.

Watching, thinking, planning.

And now I know exactly what I have to do.

I want action.

I want to have fun.

I want challenges that measure up to me.

Don't they always say
joy is only Brazilian?

Bullshit!

I'll have fun from here.

From Granadero Arismendi 1630,

without having to go anywhere.

[crickets chirping]

Ladies,

gentlemen,

I hope you're ready for w*r.

What a son of a b*tch.

You get shittier each day.

So rude.
You have such a filthy mouth, Beba.

Kiss my a*s, dickhead.

How vulgar!

What's this? Why are you being so feisty?
You weren't like that, Beba.

Go away.

It's happening, Eliseo.

Now you will go after all of them.
All of them.

[♪ upbeat sinister music starts]

Welcome to Eliseo's empire.

-[switch clicks]
-[gasps]

[moans]

[♪ upbeat sinister music ends]

[♪ theme music playing]

THE BOSS 3