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01x10 - U.F. UH-OH!

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Hamster & Gretel". Aired: August 12, 2022 – present.*
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A 16-year-old boy named Kevin must work with his sister Gretel when she and their pet hamster are given superpowers by aliens and become a superhero duo dedicated to protecting their city.

01x10 - U.F. UH-OH!

Post by bunniefuu »

This is WDMV 101.3
and a half's charity give away.

Ahem.
- The winner gets to spend the day

with superheroes, Hamster and Gretel.

It was nice of you to do that
for the radio station.

Yeah, I'm not sure what radio is,
but they seem nice.

Whoever can answer
this question is our winner.

What is the color of Hamster's cape?

What is Bolivia?

Oh. I'm sorry.
That's the wrong answer.

And inexplicably,
in the form of a question. Next caller.

I know, I know.
It's specifically pumpkin-pie orange.

- Winner!
- That sounds like Bailey.

- What's your name?
- Bailey.

It's Bailey!

I'm a student
at East Side Elementary School.

I can't believe I won.

I love Hamster and Gretel.

I get to spend the day with Bailey.

No, no, no.
This is, this is a bad idea.

Bailey can't go with you
on an all-day ride along.

- Why not?
- One, she's your best friend,

so she knows you too well
and it might blow your cover.

Two, Bailey knows who I am,
so I can't be there to help you.

You can just park the van further away.

Three, Bailey is a little kid
with no superpowers,

so you can't do anything dangerous.

Why don't we just cancel
and send an autograph?

I promise I'll be careful
and I won't blow my cover

and I won't do anything dangerous.

If there's any fighting to be done,
Hamster'll handle it.

All right, this calls for
the Kevin Gretel Pinky Promise.

I'll allow you to use this unbreakable
agreement once every 18 months.

No fighting, no fisticuffs,
not a single punch.

And no fun. Fine.

It's the Kevin Gretel Pinky Promise

You got this, Hamster?

It depends on how
my schedule checks out.

Wheel, wheel, wheel...

I'll move some stuff around.

I'll just do boring stuff.

Like rescue cats from very short trees.

This is the most exciting thing
that's ever happened to me,

beating the previous most exciting thing

that was when I won the radio contest.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Come here, cute kitty.

Come on, you can do it.
Come on.

Can't wait to tell my best friend,
who's also named Gretel.

Wow, such a totally
random coincidence.

Cat out of a tree.

Pretty basic.

No, it's a classic.

And it's safe.

It's boring. What else is on?

We need to keep an eye on Gretel.

It's called multitasking.

Let's watch Yuko.

No, I don't want to watch
Yuko, Cheerleader Seven.

Stop trying to make that happen.

I'm just expanding
your pedestrian taste.

Here you go, ma'am.

Thank you for saving him.

Every hero deserves a treat.

Peppermints.

Ew, peppermints.

You don't like peppermints either?

My friend Gretel hates peppermints.

I meant... Ooh! Peppermints.
Love 'em.

Mmm.

Ugh.

My baby boy.

Wait. I don't have a cat.

Here, toss me that bottle.

Super recycling!
In your face, environmental impact.

Are you having fun, Bailey?

I can't believe
that Gretel from Hamster and Gretel

knows my name and just asked
if I was having fun!

Hey, those are my apples.

Not anymore.

Ned Slater,
track and field wannabe

experimented with protein powder
and animal DNA

in an attempt
to increase his horsepower.

Unbeknownst to him,

the DNA he stole came
from a horse whose stable

was right next to a nuclear power plant.

The resulting gamma radiation
turned him into the Neighslayer.

Wow. Science is dangerous.

You're telling me.

Let's head back to the park.

These are my apples now.

Shouldn't you take him to jail?

I can't.
No fighting supervillains today.

But isn't this what you do,
fight bad guys?

He's committing a crime.

You don't know for sure.
Those might actually be his apples.

And when I say these apples are mine,
I mean

because I'm stealing them
from you illegally.

See? He's committing a crime.

Well, I didn't say
I wouldn't talk to a super villain.

Hamster, show Bailey a trick.
I'll be right back.

Pick a card.

You can talk?

Neighslayer, quick word.

Wassup, lil' mama? I'm kind of busy
robbing this apple hoarding punk.

I'm DJ-ing a massive
horse party tonight,

and we need some apples.

It's an open barn.

Look, Neighslayer,
I'm willing to let this slide

if and only if you put
the nice clerk down,

fix the stand
and pick up all the apples.

Uh, nay.

I tried.

That's it. That's my card.

All right, Hamster, you're up.

Kevin?

None of the character motivations
make any sense.

I can't talk to you
when you're like this.

You sure he doesn't need help?

No, he loves horses.

Kevin, we have a situation.

I can't wait to share this with Gretel.
Not you superhero Gretel,

but my best friend Gretel.
I think I told you about her.

I'm flying with Gretel!

I can't wait to tell Gretel.
My friend Gretel, not you.

Just hang tight.

Wait, if you want to be friends too,

maybe the three of us
can hang out, sometime.

I just made it weird.

I'll save you, Hamster.

No fighting.

Just saving, not fighting.

Oh, hey, I don't think so.

Hamster, Hamster!

I'm just saying that there's
a world logic flaw.

Bom bom can't be Prince Enigma's niece

if she's actually Starlight's
second cousin.

But remember, he was crowned
after the time travel episode.

That doesn't make any sense unless...
Oh, my gosh.

Ward, after all,
is his own grandfather.

Kevin, why aren't you answering?

That's funny. My best friend
has a brother named Kevin.

Oh, that's another
really impossible coincidence.

My Kevin just stands for,

Kind Electronic
Voice Investigation Nano Computer.

Wouldn't that be KEVINC?

Yeah, the computer is silent.

I don't know what to do.

Neighslayer took Hamster,
and I have no idea where he's gone.

Didn't he say something
about a horse party?

He did.
We just need to find the party.

Found it! It says
Apples This Way.

Oh! That's the old horse track.

I can't believe they're advertising
an ill*gal horse party.

Horses put too much on the Internet.

I can't believe
I'm flying with superhero Gretel!

Shh. They'll hear us.

I can't believe I'm flying
with superhero Gretel.

There's Hamster.
Even captured, he's so cute.

He is cute, but how am I
going to get past all of them?

Hey, do you know
any possibly useful facts

on horses that
you would've learned from,

let's say, a school report
from two weeks ago?

I do! I did a school report
on horses exactly two weeks ago.

What a coincidence.

Right?

Okay.

Did you know a horse
can sleep standing up,

and soon after they're born,
they can run?

A foal is a baby horse,

and a colt is a male horse
under four years old and a gelding is...

What about things that they're scared of
or things to distract them with?

Their favorite treats are apples,
carrots, strawberries, peppermints.

Peppermints! That's it. Thanks, Bailey.
You're the best sidekick ever.

Gretel just hugged me.
I'll never wash my torso again.

You know, I wasn't planning
on being super evil today.

It's more of a DJ day.

But your girl tried to make me look bad
in front of my crew.

I can't look like a chump.

You get it.
Once this party ramps up,

we're going to dunk you
in a vat of acid,

and then after-party!

And, you furry little freak.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm rubber, you're glue.

You did not just go there.

Oh, yes, he did.

Evil Pony Army, attack.

Who wants a treat?

No stop. Get a hold of yourselves.

They're just peppermints.

They're just delicious,
sweet peppermints.

Any closer, and the Hamster's goo.

Whoa, there, horsey.

I made a promise that I would
not do any actual fighting today.

But you know what I didn't
promise not to do? A rap battle.

You think you can take me?

This will be like stealing candy
from a baby,

which I do all the time.

Well, I already brought you candy,
horse face.

Let's see what you've got.

So I took a couple apples
You can just lay off

I mean, they grow on trees

You couldn't take the day off

You agitate and irritate
You threw my game way off

But now I'm here to tell you

You can just neigh off

I'm a horse-themed villain
And I'm spitting some rhymes

You're just a little girl
And you're up way past your bed time

I'm not playing with you

There's no rope in a wrangling

I've got your partner right here

Precariously dangling

Don't worry about my bedtime

You are not my mom

And I didn't mean to interrupt
Your little horse prom

You stole a cart of produce

How are you the one that's bad?

And your rhymes are so corny

You remind me of my dad

Now you're gonna drop my partner

In a vat full of acid

Well, I hate to break it to you

But that plan is kind of flaccid

You think that's a threat?

I'm gonna help you out

You forgot he can fly

That's what I'm talking about

Word.

That was beautiful.

I never thought
a cheer leading attack squad

could lead such rich, emotional lives.

And that's just the first season.

Wait. How long have we been in here?

Where's Gretel?

We're ready to go.
Can we pick up some food?

I'm starving.

I only had peppermints the whole day.

Where's Bailey?

We dropped her off
safe and sound at her house.

And as promised,
I didn't throw a single punch.

And did she have fun?

I think so.

And then we went flying through the air,

and I have to say that
you should really keep

your mouth closed if you're flying.

But then we found the evil horse lair,

and I told her about
my book report about horses

and then she hugged me.
How crazy is that?

So wish you were there.
It would have been even more epic.

Me too. Gretel seems awesome.

But just so we're clear,
I'm still your number one, right?

Duh. Besties for a life.

- Pinky Promise?
- Pinky Promise.

It's the Gretel Bailey Pinky Promise

Where's that music coming from?

I have no idea.

THEME MUSIC PLAYING...

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

♪ It's Hamster ♪
♪ Hamster, Hamster ♪

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪