04x10 - Cavemen

[bunniefuu]

♪ If you're looking for me ♪

♪ You better check
under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is where
you'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab ♪

♪ At the bottom of the sea ♪

Hey, is he still
out there?

I said...

And I said shut
your [bleep]ing mouth.

Well, how long are you
gonna stay mad?

Gee, I don't know.
How much air we got left?

Hmm. About...
Uh, about 10 minutes.

Well, then, you can
pretty much count on me
being pissed at you

For the last 10 minutes
of my [bleep]ing life!

Well, we have time.
He could leave.

He could leave
any minute now.

Well, he better, 'cause
we've only got 10 minutes
of [bleep]ing air left!

Actually,
now it's about 9:30.

Plus I can't believe
he's still hungry.

Wha... Of course
he's still hungry!

Look at him.
He's 30 feet long.

No way. 25 Tops.

Whatever!

Still, though,
he ate a ton of rabbits.

Yeah, and nice call
on the trail of bloody
rabbit carcasses.

I wanted to make sure
we could find our way back.

Did you ever think
bloody-a*s rabbit carcasses
might attract sharks?

Where'd you get all
those dead-a*s rabbits
in the first place?

Man, you're questiony.

Ok, a... They weren't dead
when I got 'em,

And 2... They were
going bad anyway.

Ok, shut up.

Stuffed in my dresser
like that.

Shut up.

I'm just glad somebody
got some use out of 'em.

Shut up.
Oh, oh!
You got a spoon?

'Cause we could do it
where you tap out
morse code on my tanks

And then somebody at sealab
will hear us and...

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I don't think
the good folks at sealab

Are going to be hearing
too much of anything
just about now...

Except maybe their own
charred flesh dripping
off their bones!

Dude!

What? It's
your [bleep]ing fault!

Look, we could spend
the next 8 minutes... Ish

Pointing fingers and
playing the blame game or...

Or what? You were
on reactor duty.

Which I'm obviously
not qualified for.

Oh, no kidding.

No kid...
Oh, I get it. Sarcasm.

The last refuge
of modest and chaste
soul people

When the privacy
of their soul

Is coarsely and
intrusively invaded.

I'm sorry?

Dostoyevsky
said that.

How the hell
do you know?

It was on the wall
in the crapper.

Must have been
one of those dudes
from engineering.

But whoever he was,
he's dead now.

Godspeed, you crazy
russian poet dude
from engineering!

Godspeed.

Ok, here's what
I want to know.

Hit me.
How is it you just
happened to have

Some urgent thing to see
out here right before
the reactor exploded?

Do what?
Why are we
the only survivors?

Dude, look at it.

Nobody could live
through that.

I know that!

Well, it's good
you're accepting it.

That's how
the healing begins.

What I'm saying is...

I'm listening, buddy.
Shut up!

Yeah, just let it out.

I'm saying...
It's kind of suspicious

That right before
the reactor exploded,

You grabbed me and said...

Hang on. Let me
stop you right there,
if I could.

What?

We've got about


Then quit [bleep]ing
interrupting me!

Sorry. But also...

What?

Yelling and screaming
is just gonna use up
your oxygen faster.

Who cares?!

Well, I was kinda
hoping we could go
at the same time.

I don't think
I could stand losing
my best friend.

I'm not
your best friend.

Well, all your other friends
just burned to death,

So for the next...
Let's call it 5:40...

Hey, buddy...

I would rather be
friends with him!

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Man, they sure have
a lot of teeth.

And you still didn't
answer my question.

I always thought that
was an old wives tale.

Stormy!
What?

Why did you
bring me out here?

Crap, dude,
I totally almost forgot!

What?
You are not
gonna believe...

Hey! Try me.
Hey, buddy.

Hang on.

Ok, come here.

Quinn: wow. Yeah.
Hang on.

No, seriously.
Ta-da!

Hey.

Mmm, ok.
This is amazing.

Ta-da!

And this would be...
Cave drawings.

See, there's an old-timey
elephant or whatever.

And there's a cave guy
with a spear.

Wow.
Just think...

[Music swells]
eons ago, before the oceans
swallowed this fertile valley,

Early man huntered
and gathered here,

Eking out
a meager existence

Armed with only
a stout spear and his wits.

And here, right here
where we're standing,

One of them had the desire...
Nay, the need...

To chronicle his way of life,

To say, through these drawings
and across the ages,

I will not go quietly
into that dark night!

[Music stops,
tape rewinds]

Couple thoughts.
Hit me.

A... The oceans
didn't move in,
they receded.

What?
And 2,
you dumb a*s...

Well, of course
it's gonna be wet.
We're underwa...

Nice. Real mature.

Have no comment.

[Roaring]

Stormy: god,
what is with him?

You know what?
Maybe I'll just

Swim out there and
get this over with.

Dude!

[Roars]

Not even as a joke.

Yeah, you know what?
Yeah, screw it.
I'm out of here.

Wait! Hang on!
What?

Let's give him this!

You stupid...
Aah!

cr*cker
rabbit killin'...

Sealab explodin'
cave paintin'...

Pope [bleep]...

Rabbit b*stard son of
a bitchin' cr*cker a*s!

[Panting]

Oh, ok.
I have an idea.

What?

What if
we buddy breathe?

Buddy breathe?

Yeah. It's where
we share our...

I know what it is!
But there's still
two people

Breathing
the same amount of air
you [bleep]ing idiot!

Well, what's
your great big idea?

How 'bout I shiv you
and take your tank?!

How 'bout I shiv you
and take your tank?

Let's dance, b*tch!
Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Holy bejesus!
He ain't gonna help you!

No, no! Look! Look!
The shark's gone!

You think he's... You think
he's really gone?

I will if you will.

How much time we got?

Mmm... About 3 minutes.

We can make it to
the surface. Come on.

Hey!
What?

I forgive you.
For what?

The knife fight
and everything.

Ok, now, come on.

And calling me
a b*tch.

Ok! Now, come on!

Hey, quinn...

Aah! He's back!
He's back!

Get back!
Get back in the cave!

Aah! The shark is back!
Chop chop!

He's still hungry!

[Grr]

Man, I'm starting
to hate that shark.

How much time we got?

About... Uh...

Time!

Aah!
Aah!

Time!
Two.

We're right at
two now.

That's...
Minutes.

Not enough time.

We can't make it
to the surface now.

Well, damn.
Yeah.

I kind of wish
none of this had happened.

Oh, and you know what?

Stormy!

Could we please just
have a little quiet?

Ok. It's just...
Stormy, please!

It's just I was
gonna tell you

That since you were shouting
and yelling a lot before,

You're probably about
airwise.

Hey, super.

[Gasping]

What the hell
are you doing?

I want us to go
at the same time.

Stop it!
Hey, come on! Stop!

You sure?
Yes.

I mean, nice gesture.
Great gesture.

It was. Thanks.

Hey, that's what
friends are for.

You know, there were
a lot of times...

Let me stop you there
for a second.

Yeah, buddy?

It's getting really
hard to breathe.

The psi in the tanks
is too low.

Wow, whatever.
This sucks.

Yeah. [Gasps]

Here, take my hand.

Hope I see you
on the other side.

Hey, me, too.

And there's something
I always meant to ask you.

Yeah, buddy?
Yeah.

What's the deal
with black dudes
and turtlenecks?

Well, damn.
Yeah.

Well, look who
finally made it.

Sparks! Debbie?

Marco? Shanks? And...
Hey, and even beard guy.

Even beard guy.

Welcome to heaven.

This is amazing.

You think
this is amazing?

[Whistles]

This joint's crawling
with dead hookers.

Do you want
a blow job?

Yeah! But I don't
have any money.

That's the best part.
They're free!