01x26 - Out of Body Slam Experience/Get Whale Soon

[bunniefuu]

[Beta] Chaos bots have been
sent from the future

to stop the one person
who can save the world.

Me?

- [chorus singing] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Teach a cat to play the piano
Roller-skate all the way to Orlando ♪

♪ Use my ear wax? ♪

♪ To make a candle ♪

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ Win first place for
World's cutest pet rock ♪

♪ Do a corn maze
Hope I don't get lost ♪

♪ Eat an onion ♪

♪ Kiss my friend Scott? ♪

Huh? [grunts]

Ow, my Dingles!

- [chorus] ♪ Hey, hey, hey! ♪
- [Hailey] ♪ Hailey's on it! ♪

♪ On this day
in a different year ♪

♪ The world got to say
Hey, look who's here ♪

♪ Tootin' your horn
So glad you were born ♪

♪ Everybody's ready to cheer ♪

♪ It's gonna be
the best, best birthday ♪

Oh, yeah!

Good morning, friends.

- 'Sup?
- "'Sup"?

That's the best you can do
on this very special, important day?

What's so special about today?

Oh, do you mean because we're doing
item number 303, paint a log?

It's not every day
you paint a log.

In fact, most days, you don't paint
a log because why would you?

Okay, okay, I see
what's going on, jokesters.

Real nice job hiding my present.

Wonder what's under here.

- It's a box.
- Yeah, I see that.

But the question is
what's in the box?

[Hailey] Extra logs.
Can't have too many.

[sighs] Did you
seriously forget my...

[gasps] Oh, I get it.

The old box of logs fake out.

But I bet if I look
under the bed, I'll find...

Dirty laundry?

You jerks actually forgot
my pre-birthday?

What's a pre-birthday?

[screaming in frustration]

According to my hardware's
manufacture date,

I am exactly 49 years
in the future from today.

That is a very big deal,

and nothing is worth
celebrating more!

Oh, sorry.

You want to paint a log?

[Beta grunting in frustration]

Just grab some paints
from the drawer.

Seriously?

Gotta paint my own log on my...

Happy pre-birthday, Beta!

We didn't forget.
We were messing with you.

The low energy, the decoy box,

the disgusting amount
of dirty laundry.

Yeah, all part of the plan.

Oh, I was just messing
with you guys

by making you think
I didn't already know.

[chuckles nervously] Dummies.

And here's your present.

[gasps]

[Hailey] VIP tickets to
a World Wrestling Group show tonight,

including a pre-show meet and greet
with your fav Rowdy Russ Stanton.

[gasps] I'm going
to meet Rowdy Russ?

Oh, best present ever!

Oh, man!

We're gonna see his signature
Sasquatch Triple Clap,

and the Chem Trail Chokehold,

and the Flat Earth FaceBuster.

Ooh! Do we think Russ might be
a conspiracy theorist?

But most importantly,
we're going to witness in person

his famous finishing move,
The Real Moon Landing.

- Ew.
- Wow. Full moon.

And what's this?
Another present?

How lucky am I?

No. My mom must have dropped
that off earlier for me.

[chuckles] You guys
are really milking this bit,

pretending not to
pamper me for my...

Oh, you were serious.
Yeah, it's for you.

Oh, nice.
It's the hypnosis book

I ordered for list item
number 538.

Hypnotize someone.

Ooh, this whole chapter shows
how to hypnotize someone

into acting like
different animals.

Cool. Now we just gotta
find someone we can hypnotize.

Someone easily susceptible,
with a totally clear mind.

- What?
- Happy pre-birthday to me.

And with this final step,
all of these involuntary actions

will be locked in
with a snap of my fingers.

Did it work?

Hard to say.

You might need brains for this.

Let's test it.

If I whistle,
Scott should act like a donkey.

- I mean, I'm not going to...
- [Hailey whistles]

[Scott braying]

- [gasps]
- [Beta chuckles]

Do more, Hailey.

♪ Animal ♪

♪ You take me back
To the wild ♪

♪ Animal ♪

[clucking]

♪ Cat got my tongue
Not a milk truck ♪

♪ Lost for words
The same haircut ♪

♪ Animal ♪

♪ Yeah, you take me back
You take me back, yeah ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Animal, animal ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

- ♪ Animal, animal ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪

Flying squirrel?
La-la-la-la-la.

♪ Ooh ♪

[Hailey gasps]

- Don't do that one again.
- We won't.

Let's do that one again.

Okay, we've had our fun.
Time to undo the hypnosis.

And those instructions are...

In Volume 2!

Don't worry, don't worry.
I'll order it right now and...



Huh. Quite the scam here
you're running, Dr. Swirly-Eyes.

Well, two-day shipping
is twice as much.

- Hailey!
- Fine, two-day shipping.

Scott, you've got to stay home and away
from any hypnosis triggers for 48 hours.

And miss Beta's pre-birthday?

Then you guys will go make memories
and have these inside jokes

about the peanuts they sell at the show,
and I won't get it.

And you guys will be like,
"Oh, you were at home, hypnotized."

You'll try to explain the peanuts,
but it won't be the same

because I wasn't there
for the full peanuts experience.

So, yeah, no thanks.
I'd literally rather die.

Um, I don't think
they sell peanuts at the...

You know what I mean!

Come on, the triggers
are so random.

We'll be fine.

This will go by in a snap.

- [Scott growling]
- [Beta laughing]

[Beta gasps]

That's the ring Rowdy Russ
has beaten countless opponents in.

[sniffs] You can practically
smell the dominance.

Dominance smells like
sweaty spandex and BO.

Holy hot chocolate, it's him!

There they are, the Rowdy Crowd.

Y'all excited to see
the real Rowdy Russ?

Unlike anyone who thought
they were seeing

the real Paul McCartney after 1966.

Am I right?

Okay. Definitely
a conspiracy theorist.

Mr. Rowdy, will you take a picture
with my friend's bear?

Russ takes pictures
when Russ wants to take pictures.

Got it?

[Scott clucking]

Did you just
bawk at me, brother?

He's calling you
a chicken, Russ.

No, no.
I would never, Mr. Rowdy.

- You're the opposite of a chicken.
- What's the opposite of a chicken?

- An elephant.
- An egg!

Wait, that's a pre-chicken.

A dead chicken.
Boom! Obvious!

- [clucking]
- What's your deal, cluckhead?

Quit calling
Rowdy Russ a chicken!

Yeah, quit calling him
a chicken.

No, no, no. It's just your
Sasquatch Triple Clap makes me...

- [clucking]
- [Rowdy Russ gasps]

Watch it, you little chicklet!

I'm strapped and jacked,
and you clearly eat like a bird.

Which are not real, by the way.

You don't think birds are real?

Why do you think they perch
on telephone wires?

They're recharging.

- [clucking]
- Oh, that's it.

You, me, that ring,
tonight at the big show.

We'll see who's chicken then,
ya jabroni!

Wait. You can't wrestle him.

I sure can.

In fact, I'm not stepping
into the ring tonight

unless it's against
this bird brain.

Because it's my butt on that ticket,
little lady,

and my butt makes the rules.

- Your butt makes rules?
- [Beta] So cool.

See you for the smackdown,
feather face.

Okay.

Well, we obviously gotta leave
before that wacko wrestles you.

And just like that,
my pre-birthday dreams are pre-ruined.

No, we're staying.

I may have ruined Beta's opportunity
to get a picture with Rowdy Russ,

but I'll be hammed

if I ruin his chance
to see his hero wrestle in person.

- Scott, no.
- Let's hear him out.

I'm stepping into that ring tonight
and wrestling Rowdy Russ.

What if you get hurt?

[chuckles] Hailey, come on.

Everyone knows
wrestling is just for show.

[Scott screaming]

Wait, wait.
We didn't even decide on a safe word.

Just try to not get more hurt.

- Wow. Manager of the Year over here.
- We gotta figure out a way to help.

Honestly, we don't
have much time.

He's got him
in the Illuminati Stronghold.

[all cheering]

Hey, get back here!

Wait, that's it. Scott went snake mode
because of that bell,

and it totally helped him.

What's he gonna do?
Slither Russ into submission?

Oh, he can get wilder than that.

What the...
That's against the rules.

Take it up with your butt.

[grunts angrily]

[whistles]

[braying like donkey]

[yodeling]

♪ It's obvious
That I was born for this ♪

♪ You know
I was born for this ♪

[audience cheering]

[blow horn blowing]

♪ I got it, I got it
I got it ♪

♪ You know
I was born for this ♪

[buzzing like bee]

Hello, guvnor.
A cup of tea.

[audience cheering
and exclaiming]

♪ Na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na ♪

- [Scott snarling like bull]
- I'm not proud of this, either.

I'm usually on
the receiving end of this,

but you two are nuts.

It's time to finish him.

La-la-la-la-la.

♪ You know
I was born for this ♪

[chittering like chipmunk]

[gasps] Oh, no!

[audience gasping]

[bell dinging]

[Hailey] Whoo-hoo!

♪ Get up in the fire
k*ll 'em in the game ♪

♪ Come here 'cause I am
Legend in the game ♪

Everything hurts,
and I don't remember much,

but thanks for having my back, Hails.

You were an animal out there.

Actually several animals.

I didn't get to see
Russ' famous finishing move in person,

so way to go, Scott.

But that was pretty cool.

Thanks for a memorable
pre-birthday, you buffoon.

I wuv you.

That was an accident.

[audience cheering]

♪ Call the champion ♪

All right, brother,
put her there.

You're one weird cat,

especially when
you acted like a cat.

But you beat Rowdy Russ
and have earned my respect.

You're a good wrestler, kid.

That was
my first time wrestling.

What? [grunts angrily]

[Rowdy Russ breathes deeply]

Wait, before you go,

could you perform
The Real Moon Landing for us?

Since we never saw it.

Absolutely.
Hop in the ring.

Could you actually perform it
on my friend's stuffed bear?

Okay, hotshot.

You sure do a lot for this bear.

I'm starting to think it's actually
a supercomputer sent from the future

for a top secret
world-saving mission.

[chuckles] Oh, Russ.

You and your wacky theories.

♪ This birthday
Is gonna be a... ♪

[Beta] I wuv you.

[Hailey] This week, I tackled
one of the most exciting, action-packed

and rewarding list items to date.

Oh, I don't mean painting a log,

although that was fun, too.

[wristband beeps]

- Done.
- Hmm. Mine still needs more zhuzh.

- Drop your paintbrushes.
- Ah, there we go.

Put away your canvases!

You mean logs?

- Why are you still...
- We never finished list item number 303,

paint a log. You like?

While I appreciate you
completing a list item,

I have never seen
a more pointless object.

Wait. Yes, I have.

Beta, this log is not pointless.

Check out its motivational quote.

[Hailey reading]

[scoffs] Name a good deed
you've done lately

that wasn't a list item.

I do... deeds. Good.

Good deeds, right?

Whoa, you broke Hailey.

- The log would never lie.
- Forget that.

Another list item's probability
is spiking like crazy.

Which one? And do we need
any specialized gear for it?

I just invested in an industrial-sized,
self-inflating water weenie.

It made so much more sense
to buy than rent.

After, like, ten uses,
the thing pretty much pays for itself.

I blame myself for ever
leaving you unattended.

Our next list item is number 26,
save a whale.

- Why would that...
- [man] Swag News.

Rod Toolman for Swag News

with a breaking story
from the Oceanside Pier.

That's right.
I'm no longer with Channel 9.

I found a new work fam, Gloria.

So check it.

A baby whale has been
separated from its pod

and is now stuck
in Oceanside Bay.

Hard to tell if the whale
left on its own terms,

or if its relationship with the pod was
terminated after years of loyal service.

Oh, my gosh! Let's head to Uncle Chunk's
boat and save that whale.

Hurry, every second counts. [gasps]

But there was no mayo
in the fridge.

Can you imagine?

Oh, no, it's our new neighbors.

They never stop talking.

The universe likes to test me.

Uh-huh.

So he improvised with olive oil,

and everybody loved it.

Good, the story has a happy ending.

Actually, that was the prelude.

The real story is
when my sister showed up.

Hailey, look who's here.

Our new neighbors,
David and Leo,

who always seem to be free
to chat during business hours.

Oh, this must be your best friend Scott
we've heard so much about.

I'm David,
this is my husband, Leo.

We moved in next door
with our dog, Winston,

who wandered off this morning
like a silly Billy.

He says wandered off.
I say probably stolen.

Look how calm he is.
I can't.

[Leo] Winston probably just chased
a turtle onto a rock and fell asleep.

You know what I mean.

Please tell us you've seen him.

I'm losing sleep over this.

I thought he went missing
this morning.

And I haven't been able
to nap a wink.

Sorry, we haven't seen him.

If you could just help us look,

I think it would give David
peace of mind.

It would be
the good deed of the century.

[Beta whispering]
Leave now.

I really wish I could.

You know, that's the sort of selfless
thing I totally do all the time.

I even painted it on a log.
But I have to run an errand.

- Maybe later?
- No problem. Thanks anyway.

Oh, and tell your dad we said...

Kai!

[Scott over speakers] This way, whale!

Follow us to your family!

The only language
you speak is buffoon.

Hailey, your odds
of saving the whale

are plummeting faster
than my respect for Scott.

[gasps] That means you had
some respect for me to begin with.

- Aw!
- The tide is going out too fast.

If those new neighbors
hadn't slowed us down,

we'd be done already.

Scott, release the crabs.

Heads up, little whaley.

Delicious crab dinner
coming your way.

[Hailey] Oh, no,
that's the wrong direction.

[sighs] Probably should have checked
if whales like crab first.

- It's probably okay, right?
- Yeah.

I mean, okay,
we didn't save the whale,

but I'm sure we didn't
make things worse.

Things are much worse.

The baby whale
is now beached in a tide pool

after it inexplicably
swam ashore.

[grunts]

To stay updated
on all things WhaleWatch,

smash that fave button
and subscribe.

Swag out.

Okay, this is not good.

Yeah, Rod Toolman
is in a bad place.

You know what?
Minor setback.

All we have to do is unbeach it.

Can't be that hard, right?

How do you unbeach a whale?

I've got it.

I'll use my strength
to grab the whale by its tail,

whip it around at super speed

and throw it
back into the water.

I'm yoked!

Or we commission
the biggest crane the fire station has.

Then we engineer a custom hammock
with a weight-bearing capacity

of at least 7,000 pounds.

My welding skills can get us there.

It's fast-tracking the permits
I'm worried about.

- Or...
- Here it comes.

[Scott] Dig a hole next to the whale,
slide my water weenie into the sand,

inflate it and fwomp!

Whaley rolls
right into the ocean.

That's probably stupid.

Scott, that's an excellent idea.

Really? Whoo-hoo!

I knew this would come in handy,

and it's supposed to be
a cinch to open.

Just push this end here.

[Beta] No!

[Hailey] Yup, it works.

Okay, we're behind schedule from having
to deflate and re-fold the water weenie.

But if we rush, we can...

Oh, thank goodness you're here.

See, hon?

Not everyone is trying
to run away from us.

Say you're getting a call.
Pretend to be your own evil twin.

Winston's still missing, so we're gonna
go look for him on our bikes.

But our bikes have flat tires.

I get it, universe.

I haven't had any luck
so far today.

Why start now?

[Leo] But we peeked in your garage
and noticed you have a bike pump.

Would you mind
pumping our tires?

It's an emergency!

And I don't just throw
that word around.

Yes, you do, babe.
Hailey, can you help?

Of course. I always say
a good deed is never lost.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yes, so true.

Forget the good deeds.

Point taken.
Just say you're busy.

We'll be fine.

It doesn't take long
to pump up bike tires.

Usually.

Finally, we made it.

And with plenty of time
to save that whale.

There's not much time
to save that whale.

Thanks to a group
of brave volunteers on the scene,

the whale is as good as rescued.

And in our comments section,
concerned Swag News viewer BlissFart89

has let me know
that I have an updog on my shirt.

What's "updog"?

Oh, dang it.

I'm Rod Toolman. Swag out.

Maybe we can still help.

Our favorite neighbor.

Oops. Good thing these
dog toys are unbreakable.

[grunts] I can't reach.

Kids, can you help?
I'm all buckled in.

- Okay, yeah, we can quickly help.
- Thank you.

We've biked all over creation
looking for Winston.

- It's been wonderful cardio.
- [dog barking in the distance]

I miss him so much.

It's like I can hear him barking
everywhere we go.

Wait. I hear barking, too.

[dog barking in the distance]

There, on that rock.

- Winston!
- See, honey, just like I said.

He must have chased a turtle
onto that rock, taken a nap,

and not noticed
the tide coming in.

I married a genius.

- [both grunting]
- We're stuck.

Kids, please help.

[Beta] Do your list item.

[whimpering]

The tide's coming in fast.

Scott, it's time.

- But Hailey, the whale...
- Is fine.

My neighbors need a good deed.

- [whimpers]
- Perfect.

Come here, Winston.

He's too scared to do it alone.

Then I have to go get him.

Scott, keep the weenie still.

[laughs] We're the ones
laughing now, huh, water weenie.

[Hailey grunting]

You have to inchworm, Hailey.

Inchworm.

[whimpers]

[grunts]

- [gasps]
- I can't look!

[barking and whimpering]

[Hailey grunts]

All right, Winston,
hold on tight.

[Winston barks]

Almost there.

[Hailey shrieks]

Oh, Winston, are you okay?

We missed you and were so worried
and looked for you all day.

[distant cheering]

Well, would you look at that?

[rescuers cheering]

I guess I lost my chance
to save a whale today.

You should be proud.

Like you always say,
a good deed is never lost.

Not a list item, but still.

[wristband beeping]

Huh? Why did my wristband
turn green?

I didn't save a whale.

Did you say "save a whale"? Very clever.

You absolutely saved a whale today.

Isn't that right, baby?

Hailey saved a whale.
Yes, she did.

They know that's a dog, right?

What do you guys mean
I saved a whale?

Oh, we're the Whales.

David and Leo Whale.

And of course,
our doggo son, Winston Whale.

- Thank you so much for saving him.
- [barks]

You got lucky with this one.

You know, the name Whale

actually comes from
Leo's side of the family.

- You see...
- They changed it at Ellis Island.

When my ancestors
first immigrated,

their last name was Dolphin.

It's funny. When I first met Leo,

I couldn't believe
his last name was Whale.

But then he introduced me
to his parents...

Well, we all learned
a valuable lesson today.

Sure did.

A water weenie
is the best investment ever.

Come on, crabs.
Not my water weenie.

No!

Come back!

♪ On this day
In a different year ♪

♪ The world got to say
Hey, look who's here ♪

♪ We're tootin' your horn
So glad you were born ♪

♪ Everybody's ready to cheer ♪

♪ It's gonna be
The best, best birthday ♪

♪ Everything's going
Your way ♪

♪ Fun princess
It's as good as it gets ♪

♪ It's as good as it gets ♪

♪ This birthday
Is gonna be the... ♪