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01x17 - I Know What You Did Last Slumber/Lady and the Trampoline

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Hailey's On It!". Aired: June 8, 2023 – May 18, 2024.*
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Set in Oceanside, California, the series follows Hailey Banks, a 14-year-old girl who dislikes taking risks.

01x17 - I Know What You Did Last Slumber/Lady and the Trampoline

Post by bunniefuu »

[jazzy noir theme playing]

The case is closed, Kitty.

But you've forgotten
one thing.

Me.

I can't forget the unforgettable, kid.

[music swells]

Yay!

Oh! I love film noir.

The clothes, the intrigue,

- the... laser light show?
- [electronic music blaring]

I didn't notice lasers in the movie.

Probably 'cause
it was in black and white.

- [music blaring]
- I buzz like a bee

and I fly like a...

Well, a bee, but I am not a bee.

I am wrestling champion Cicada Beta!

Wipe that smile off your face, chump,

and prepare for one foot
and three inches of pure pain!

[grunts]

- Aw.
- So cute.

Ding, ding, ding!

Winner and still champion,

Cicada Beta!

- [music stops]
- [both laugh]

Beta, that wrestling was adorable.

What? Would you call this
flying scissor kick adorable?

Hyah!

Aw! Look at the little feet!

The cutest, really.

Fine. As payback
for these egregious insults

to my muscle-tude,

I'm gonna make sure
your next list item

is an embarrassing one.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Aha!

"Conquer the Big Bounce
at Trampoline Town."

[scoffs]

Nice try, Beta,

but Trampoline Town's fun.

Right, Hailey?

Hailey?

Ooh, that's her flashback face.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was a heat wave.

The worst in years.

It was so hot,

the thermometers went on strike.

[Beta] Wait, why is she talking like that?

[Scott]
Shh! It's a stylized flashback.

[Hailey] Trampoline Town
was a hole in the wall

on the wrong side of the tracks

at the end of a dead-end street.

But I loved it.

It smelled of cake,

socks, and regret.

I was there on account
of the Kurpatwinski twins,

identical in every way

except for a tiny mole
above Jenna's lip.

Or was it Brenna's lip?

No matter.

After a quick Shirley Temple

to take the edge off,

I saw him.

Terry Kline.

He was to good looks

what apple pie is to America.

But he couldn't
put two and two together

if you lent him one
and gave him the other.

But I wasn't there
for him or anyone.

I was there for the Big Bounce.

My Shangri-La.

Happy hour was over, kids,

and everybody
was gonna pay full price.

[Beta] Wait, what?

I'm painting a picture with my words.

I bounced like there was no tomorrow.

And I was good. Real good.

I knew all the angles,
and none of them were acute.

I was sweating more
than a turkey at Thanksgiving.

My goose was cooked,

and everyone could see
I was chicken.

[laughing]

[grunts and cries]

[all laughing]

Those kids had "bad"
written all over them

like they was the newspaper.

I can't believe you just did that.

- One by one...
- Wow.

You were really going for it out there.

...they turned on me.

Oh, maybe a Hype Water would help.

It was time for pin the tail
on the donkey,

and that sweaty donkey was me.

So I hightailed it,

got out of Dodge, scrammed.

I didn't want to come to your
dumb party in the first place!

They say nobody gets what they want

and everybody gets
what's coming to 'em.

But I haven't been back since.

Forget it, Hales.

It's Trampoline Town.

What the heck is happening?

Hailey, you shouldn't have
to give up something you love

just 'cause of a little sweat.

But I get so self-conscious
when I get sweaty.

Who cares?

I fall off my skateboard
all the time,

and it doesn't affect me at all.

Plus, I fall off
my skateboard all the time,

and it doesn't affect me at all.

It's turned you
into a world-class buffoon.

You hear that? World-class.

Come on, Hailey. We'll go together.

It'll be fun.

I don't know.
I get so embarrassed.

But I really do miss bouncing.

And, of course, the fate
of the world is at stake.

Okay, let's go!

[rock music blaring]

It's just as I remember it.

The trampolines,
the music, the...

[sniffs]
...undetermined smells.

[Beta]
Ugh, unsubscribe.

This place is a veritable petri dish.

Don't worry, Hailey.

This time, you'll be ready.

This is from that time

I signed up for a marathon,

but then I found out you have to run.

And it's far.

[gasps]

[Hailey] It's Jenna, Brenna,
and Terry Kline.

They still come here?

They're exactly how I imagined them.

Except in color.

Ugh! Let's go.

I can't do this if they're gonna watch.

I'm sweating just thinking about it.

I have an idea.

I'll distract them

so you can complete the course.

- Agh!
- How are you gonna do that?

It's easy. I'll just lay on the charm.

I don't want to brag,

but Jenna's had a crush on me
for years.

Or was it Brenna?

No, definitely Jenna.

Watch and learn.

Hey, Jenna.

I'm Jenna.

I knew that.

How that boy manages to get
into trouble all the time

- is beyond meee...
- [giggling]

Right? Good thing I have you
by my side, Beta.

...eeee!

[grunts]

I don't know who you are
or what you want,

but I demand you--

I wuv you.

Oh, you will pay for this, pork chop!

You'll pay!

[dramatic theme playing]

That's why I don't say things
are ever a walk in the park,

because for me,
a walk can be difficult.

[groans]

Perfect. I'll quickly finish this sucker,

and no one will even notice.

- Agh!
- [man] Howdy, friends.

It's me, Bill Board
of Bill Board's Billboards

and new owner of Trampoline Town,

which I recently won
in a Secret Santa gift exchange.

Of course you did.

And I'm happy to announce
that I've added a new,

giant, digital billboard,

and expanded the Big Bounce
obstacle course.

And every moment will be
captured on the Bounce Cam,

with super zoom slo-mo action

and Extreme Sweat Meter.

Who'd want
an Extreme Sweat Meter?

[Scott]
The Extreme Sweat Meter rules!

[sighs]

Good news is, the next person

at the top of the Big Bounce

will be the first to try it
with everybody watching.

So, step into the spotlight,
lucky winner, and show yourself.

Uh, Beta? Any ideas?

Beta?

[gasps]
Hmm.

Ooh! An anonymous masked competitor.

Kinda weird, but let's see
what you got, cowpoke!

- Here goes nothing.
- Yee-haw!

[rock theme playing]

[spectators cheer]

[screaming]

Listen, booger boy,
you've gotta knock this off!

Agh!

Oh, what has become of me?

[gasps]

Am I not yoked?

So that's when I learned that
a marathon includes running.

Pretty cool story, huh, Jenna?

Ugh! I'm Brenna.

- I'm Jenna.
- [Scott] Whoops.

And neither of us
have a crush on you.

I did once, when you tried
that new hair gel

before it got recalled
for attracting bears.

That was a fun
and dangerous week.

Whoa, who's that masked trampoliner?

- [cheers and applause]
- Whoever it is,

- they are crushing it.
- You said it, Brenna.

- She's Brenna!
- I am Brenna!

Sorry! Sheesh.

Does that mole keep moving?

- [grunts]
- [all gasp]

[grunting]

[Bill]
Only one obstacle to go

for our masked weirdo.

Ahh!

[all gasp]

I'm too sweaty. I can't see.

It looked like this was
the end of the road

unless I took off the mask and
went for the whole enchilada.

But then everyone
would see my sweaty mug.

But that's when I realized

I loved the Big Bounce
and I didn't care who knew.

I had a date with destiny,
and I wasn't gonna be late.

[alarm blares]

Well, wet my whistle
and kick my caboose.

Looks like our mystery person

is none other
than good old Bailey Hanks.

[all gasp]

[grunts]

[yells]

[heart beating]

Ahh!

- [spectators cheer]
- [Beta sighs]

Sweet justice.

It's time for Cicada Beta!

[laughing]

Hyah!

Ladies and gentlemen,

prepare yourselves

for the flying scissor kick!

[crowd cheering]

[bell clangs]

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[imitating crowd cheering]

We love you, Beta! We love you, Beta!

[Beta grunts]

[giggles]

Ew, Ryder, that toy is full of germs.

[Beta]
Winner and still champion.

[sighs]

[wristband chimes]

Before you say anything,

you can make fun of me
for sweating if you want.

I had a blast up there,
and I don't care what you think.

Why would we make fun of you?

Because that's what you did
at your birthday party.

No, we didn't.

I remember it
like it was yesterday.

And we have it on video.

[rock music playing on video]

[Brenna] I can't believe
you just did that!

Wow! You were really
going for it out there.

Maybe a Hype Water would help?

I didn't want to come to your
dumb party in the first place!

Wow.

I was so sweat-conscious,

I assumed the worst
of all of you.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

We just missed
hanging out with you.

But you did inspire us

to really go for it on the course.

We've never seen anyone
bounce like that.

Ecch. I need screen wipes and a nap.

Can we leave now?

How about we all do
the Big Bounce together?

You in... Brenna?

Good guess.

Oh, sure. Why not?

[Beta] What? No, wait, wait!

Come on, put me down.

Put me down!

No, no, no!

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ World's what you make it,
get up and chase it ♪

♪ Leaving nothing to chance ♪

♪ I'm taking action,
making it happen ♪

♪ No matter what
tomorrow might bring ♪

♪ I got the guts to do anything ♪

♪ The future's in my hands ♪

♪ Promise I'm on it
I'm on it ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

-♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
- ♪ Hailey's on it ♪

♪ Hey, hey, Hailey's on it ♪