02x03 - The Irishman

[bunniefuu]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold adventurer man

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ Battled for right with a powerful hand ♪

♪ His blade was tempered and so was he ♪

♪ Indestructible steel was he

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventuring man ♪

- [Mary Lou] Help, help!

Sir, you've gotta help me!

Papa's gonna boil him alive and brand him, too.

It's Walter Hollerin, he's indentured to papa.

You've got to come and help him.

- Well, you're wrong, miss.

What I've gotta do is get to New Orleans.

- But there's only mama and me

and we can't stop papa from k*lling him.

You don't want papa to k*ll him, do you?

- Well. - [Mary Lou] You don't

want that on your conscience, do you?

Please, you've got to.

[bells jingling]

- That's true, Williams, didn't you ever hear

of the milky human kindness?

- Yes, Mr. Williams, you can't do this to him.

It isn't right, it isn't human.

- Quiet woman, is there anything human about this wretch?

[horses hooves clattering]

- And who are you coming on my land uninvited?

- Well, I was invited, sir.

Your daughter just told me that you were about

to boil somebody alive and I kinda thought

I'd like to see why.

- Why?

Why, he asks!

What do you think I found when I returned

from Natch yesterday?

- I don't know.

- This son of Satan had sold my sugar cane,

my cattle, and my cotton as his own.

That's why!

To get the money to escape.

- That's not true.

It isn't true, I tell you!

I can look any man in the eye

and deny every one of those charges.

- You'd look the devil himself in the eye,

you black hearted baltroon.

And what happened to the $300 in gold

that I was saving for the tax collector?

- That seminal we sheltered could've taken

the gold pieces, Mr. Williams.

- The Indian took it, papa, I know he did.

- You will both be quiet.

He run away no more.

- Sir, I'd say the iron's just about perfect.

- [Walter] I call upon the lord to witness

that you're burning the flesh of an innocent man.

- Was it innocent to make love to my daughter and my wife?

- Sir, my husband mistakes ordinary politeness for love.

Isn't that true, Mary Lou?

- [Mary Lou] Yes mama, of course.

- But it was love, I tell you.

An indentured servant eloping with my daughter

and in my best Sunday suit.

- Well, those are pretty serious charges, sir.

But do they give you the right to brand him?

- He's my bonded servant, isn't he?

I paid $300 for him in Philadelphia, didn't I?

So I'll brand him if I please.

- And what's the hot water for?

- To boil his feet in so he'll never try to run away again.

Alright, Jenkins, open his shirt.

That is, I mean, open my shirt.

- Now wait a minute.

- Save me, sir, save me please, I beg of ya.

It was Jenkins here that sold the sugar cane.

- Lies! - No, no, no,

it's true, look, he told the man it was his own.

I hear him, sir, I heard him.

- Let me brand the lying rascal!

- Get off my land, you meddlin' busybody

before we take the iron to you.

- Nobody's takin' the iron to anybody.

- No?

[exaggerated slapping sounds]

- Please, papa, please.

[scuffling noises]

- Don't hurt Mr. Williams, Walter, just stop the fight.

- I know, don't you worry me darlin'.

It's just an angel of peace, I'll be.

[noisy scuffling]

- Now, I'll tell you what I'll do Mr. Hector Williams.

I'll put an end to your troubles.

I'll give you exactly what you paid for him.

- Ah, you're a fool, sir.

Well, I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy.

- Well, let me decide that.

Now, where's the key to his collar

and the paper you have to sign?

- The key is in his pocket, sir.

And the indenture's on the desk.

Go get it, Mary Lou.

And bring a pen and ink.

- You don't like me, that's it, isn't it?

- No, I like you, Walter, I like you very much.

It's just I have no use for you.

Besides, I don't believe in this whole business

of bonded service.

- Then you're going to set me free, is that it?

- And lose my $300?

No, sir.

But don't worry, I'll find you a master who'll

be good to you and kind.

Father Bernardo!

- You're a difficult man to locate, James.

- Father, this is Walter Hollerin from Ireland.

He's a man of your faith.

- Hi son. - How do you do, Father?

- I'm glad to see that you're keeping better company, James.

I'd like to talk a little business.

Name the hour and place.

- Business with you, padre?

Any time, any place.

You can speak freely.

Mr. Hollerin and I have a bond of understanding.

Sit down.

- Thank you.

I have news about the sunken galleon,

Marianna de Seville.

You were right!

The archives in Seville, revealed what we wanted to know.

- That there is buried treasure there?

How much?

- [Father Bernardo] The procurator was not specific

as to the nature of the treasure

but there is a possibility it may belong to the church.

If this proves to be true, I cannot be held

to any agreement I may have made as to sharing it.

- [Jim] No, padre, one third or nothing!

- James, you must understand.

I cannot agree to give away what is not mine to give.

- Well, let's settle it later, padre.

After all, there's no point in dividing up treasure

before we've even got it.

- And we'll leave tomorrow after mass.

- I'm warning you, padre, I'll be expecting my share.

You'll never convince me that

that treasure's buried fathoms deep under holy water.

- Oh, the devil has you in his arms, James.

Good night to you both.

- Good night padre. - Good night, father.

Mr. Bowie, sir, I was baptized on the banks of the Shannon

with water from the sea.

Ireland's lakes have often mistaken me for a fish.

- Now, this is no time to get homesick, Walter.

- Mr. Bowie, sir, I am a diver.

There's no depths to which I cannot dive.

Now isn't that a use that you can put me to, huh?

- Well, dog my cats, two treasures in one night.

One from Mexico and one from the Emerald Isle.

Come, my Irish frog.

Captain Lefitte, well.

Walter, bring up a chair for our distinguished guest.

- Yes, master.

- Oh, getting up in the world there Bowie?

A servant to answer your ever beck and call,

not a bad looking fellow.

- And proud to wear the color of a man like Mr. Bowie, sir.

A little brandy, Captain?

- Nothing, thank you.

I never mix drink with business.

- Business, Captain?

You mean, I have business in Port Nanook

for a man of your standing?

- Bowie, I consider the treasure

of Marianna de Seville important.

Aren't you just leaving for Lake Bournia.

- We were on our way to Opelousas, weren't we master?

About that matter of a little sugar cane?

- Oh, that's right Walter.

And the cotton, don't forget the cotton.

Yep, we're on our way to Opelousas, rain or shine.

- And Father Bernardo, he also has dealings

in cane and cotton?

Come now Bowie, our differences are past.

This time we shall be partners.

In other words I'll cut myself in

and I defy you to find a way to cut me out.

[men laughing stiffly]

- You know, Captain, I like you.

You got style and dash.

Alright, we'll cut you in.

You have a share.

- Good, and we'll share the expenses, huh?

It must be a million in that old wreck.

Gold and ornaments from the mines of Mexico.

- Gives me a good feeling to have you on my side.

- I'll hurry to St. Peter Street, change my clothes

and ride with you tonight.

I know of an inn about half way there,

a man named LaBouche.

Bowie, your bigness of soul I have long admired.

- Oh, just a minute Captain.

There's no need for you to go anywhere for you to change.

I have some buckskins that I'm sure'll fit you.

Help yourself to some of my clothes.

Can't you just smell that gold, Captain?

- My friend, I wish you were a better sailor.

[men laughing tensely]

[lock clicking]

Bowie, open this door!

- Welcome, Mr. Bowie and what type of accommodations

will you want for your man?

- I beg your pardon?

- Your servant, Mr. Bowie.

We have a room out back but the pigs might keep him awake.

- They will, if you don't feed them.

- Then they won't get fed.

That's servant's work.

There's no sounds of the pigs at all in the rooms in front.

- That's splendid, splendid.

Then we'll share a front room together.

I'll be right back.

- Honor to have you with us, Mr. Bowie.

- Funniest thing happened just now.

The inn keeper made a most amazing mistake.

He thinks that I'm Jim Bowie and that you're my servant.

- We'll soon fix that.

- But, just a moment, I was thinking.

You're not adverse to a little fun, are you?

Why don't we let him go on thinking

that I'm Jim Bowie and then in the morning

when you put the collar on me, can't you see his face, huh?

- Yes.

[men laughing]

It's a good idea.

Alright, you're Jim Bowie,

and I'm Walter, your bonded servant.

- Right. - Let's go up there.

Not so fast there, my boy?

Into the inn with my saddle bags.

- A thousand pardons, Mr. Bowie.

- Watch your manners.

- Yes sir, Mr. Bowie, sir.

- Walter, if you must eat your peas with your knife,

at least do me the favor of mixing

them with your mashed potatoes so they won't roll off.

- Oh, I'm sorry, sir, that's real clumsy of me.

I'll try to do better in the future, sir.

- [Walter] Yeah, see that you do or you'll be eating

in the kitchen from now on.

Walter, here's the key to my room.

You may go up and turn down my bed

and, yes, make yourself a pallet in the corner.

- Well, sir, I'm used to sleepin' in the barn.

- Yes, I know, but we can open the windows.

[men laughing]

- Fine looking man, Mr. Bowie.

- Ah, but not without guile, LaBouche, not without guile.

Sit down, sit down.

Did you hear mention that he wanted to sleep in the barn?

- Uh-huh. - He wanted to be near

your pigs.

It's a dreadful situation.

Poor Walter, he's so unhappy.

- Oh, with a master like you?

- Thank you LaBouche, thank you.

But you see, I'm constantly on the go

and what Walter needs is a permanent home.

He's a swineherd you know?

As his father was before him.

- Swineherd?

Is that so?

Say, he must've cost you a tidy sum.

- $600 for a five year bond.

You know, LaBouche, this brandy is excellent.

I'll take the whole bottle, you can put it on my bill.

I've often thought, LaBouche, that I could find

a kind master for Walter.

I might consider letting him go for, say, $500.

Of course, it would be very difficult to let him go.

- 500, I could get together four!

Listen, let me look in my strong box, will you?

- My dear friend, now, not so fast, not so fast.

After all, one doesn't find a servant like Walter

every day of the week.

You were, you would give him complete charge

of the pigs though, would you?

- Oh, for the full five years, I swear!

- Of course that is a point in your favor, yes.

I just might.

No, no, I'm afraid not.

No, I'm afraid must sleep on this.

Well, good night my dear LaBouche, see you in the morning.

- Bonsoir, monsieur.

[peaceful music]

[heavy breathing]

- LaBouche! - Oh, something wrong,

Monsieur Bowie?

- I fought a losing battle with my conscience.

After all, when a man's happiness is at stake,

who am I to be selfish?

- You mean, you're going to sell your man

for $400? - Yes.

I'll take the loss if I must because I think

that under this roof, at last he's found a happy home.

Now, I must leave at once because I don't think I

could bear to see his face in the morning

when he learns about his sale.

- We shall break it to him gently, Mr. Bowie.

- But you're so kind, madam.

Oh, he has one weakness which I should tell you about.

- Weakness?

- Oh, it's a trifle monsieur.

It's, he sometimes thinks that he's me.

- Actually thinks he is Jim Bowie?

- Well, I suppose that he found in me

some qualities which he admired.

Now, I left his bell collar upstairs on the dresser.

I'd put it on gently if I were you

because no doubt this sale will come

as quite a shock to him.

Now, how much do I owe you?

- Oh, not a pecan, monsieur Bowie.

- Oh, thank you very much, LaBouche,

that's very generous of you.

Oh, there is one more thing.

I don't think that this bell collar

will stop him from following me.

Now, you don't happen to have a ball and chain?

- The sheriff has. - Oh, I can borrow it.

- To spend it, I'd put it on him before he awakens.

Well, I think that's it.

Good night, LaBouche.

Madame.

I think that I can safely say this is a night

that you'll long remember.

- We will indeed.

[peaceful music]

- [LaBouche] Wake up, Walter.

Come on, wake up.

[groaning sleepily]

- Morning, Mel.

Hey, what's going on here?

- Easy, Walter, easy.

Now, easy Walter.

[bells jangling]

Calm down, Walter.

Your master has departed,

for the next five years you belong to us.

I will be kind to you but I must be firm.

[speaking in foreign language] Walter.

- My page!

My money!

My knife!

Everything I own!

Where is he?

Where is that Irishman?

I'll k*ll him, I tell you, I'll skin him alive.

- Calm down, just as soon as you are quiet

we'll take you out to the pigs.

- The pigs?

I'm telling you, I'm Jim Bowie.

See, we were just playing a little game.

He's my servant, in fact, I have his indenture right.

[dramatic music]

[bells jangling]

- Is Jim Bowie here?

- Jim Bowie?

No, Captain, he left last night.

He sold his servant to LaBouche.

- Lafitte, Lafitte!

- [Mrs. LaBouche] Out of his mind.

Swears up and down he's Jim Bowie.

- Lafitte, I'm so glad you got here.

That miserable, no good Irishman of mine

sold me down the river.

Now, you tell these numbskulls who I am, will you?

Go on, tell 'em who I am!

- He didn't tell you what to do?

- No, Captain, but is there any cure?

- But it's very simple, you lock him up

in a small dark room.

- Please, please, I beg ya.

- The storeroom, LaBouche? - Bon!

- LaBouche! - Keep him locked up

for a week.

- Captain, let me.

- I'll come back and see you, Walter.

- I beg ya, I beg ya, Captain.

I mean, seriously.

[maniacal laughter]

Lafitte was lying.

And I can tell ya why he did that.

I locked him in a closet in New Orleans.

[shouting]

Let me out, let me out of here!

[loud banging]

Let me out, I tell you!

I'm Jim Bowie, somebody let me out!

- James Bowie?

Why is he locked up?

- But it is not Bowie, Father.

It is his servant.

We just bought his indenture.

But he thinks he is Bowie.

- I'm afraid you're in for a rather rude shock.

I'd know Bowie's voice in 1000.

Open the door.

- [Jim] Let me out!

- Open the door.

[loud banging]

[hooves clattering]

- This is it, the treasure chest?

Empty?

The Irishman or Lafitte?

- The Irishman!

- [Jim] Why you! - Oh, no violence, Jim.

- Let me at him.

- You gave your word of honor.

- Your faithful servant has less honor,

it appears, eh, Bowie?

- He brought these as a password.

How was I to know he was not your friend?

He dove directly to the chest.

And now he was gone.

- I'll get him.

I'll track him down if it's the last thing I ever do.

- And I will help you, eh, Bowie?

Your partner Jean Lafitte.

- No partners.

From now on, that treasure belongs to the man

that has his hands on it.

[bells jingling]

Well, now, look at this.

Well, it's Mary Lou Williams.

- The last name is Hollerin, as of an hour ago.

Walter, bring Mr. Bowie his saddlebags.

- [Walter] Comin' my darlin, coming.

[bells jingling]

- Monsieur LaBouche has his $400 back.

Walter has the collar and I have the indenture bond.

Now, Walter, the money.

- Oh, $300 in gold for you, Mr. Bowie.

- The money for the tax collector.

So you did steal it.

- Oh, no, Mr. Bowie how could you think that I'd do.

[speaking latin]

- The exact sum you paid my father.

Here is a lead pencil, Mr. Bowie.

I'd like my husband indentured to me.

- You'll rue the day, Ms. Williams.

I mean, Mrs. Hollerin.

- I know how to handle him.

I'll make something of him.

Thank you.

Good day, gentlemen.

Walter.

- Comin', darlin', comin' now.

Here we are, me love.

There we are.

- Well, was it, sure looks like you got the real treasure.

Got her, well.

- Got her will, is it?

'Cause there's somethin' scarrin' me well Mr. Bowie.

There you are, me love.

[bell jingling]

- When he gets that collar off,

his servitude'll just be beginning.

[male laughter]

- Now, gentlemen.

Gentlemen!

Raise your hands, walk back against the shack

while I load those bags on my horse, huh?

One for your contributions to satan's adversary.

- [Walter] I'd drop that firearm if I were you, Captain.

I've got you covered.

I wouldn't feel the slightest compunction

about sh**ting you on the back.

- Alright, drop the bags, Lafitte.

Looks like Satan's adversary goes empty handed.

- We shall settle this in New Orleans, eh, Bowie?

And not with closet doors this time.

- I'll see you there, Lafitte.

[hooves clattering]

- Did you say the way I outbluffed him, huh?

- Well, Mr. Bowie, that's me last service to ya there.

There it is gentlemen, divide it among yourselves.

[metal clattering]

- Beautiful isn't it.

And now at last, it will grace

the altar for which it was designed.

The cathedral at Seville.

Also, for the cathedral.

- Take it, [speaking foreign language],

accept it for the church.

- Thank you, my son.

- Candlesticks, all for the altar.

Solid gold.

Man.

[birds chirping]

If it belongs to the church, it belongs to the church.

- You know, now at long last, I know

that there's some Irish blood in you.

- [Mary Lou] Walter?

- Coming, darling, coming!

Well, Mr. Bowie, good bye.

- Goodbye, Walter. - Thank you.

Bye bye, Goodwin.

- My son.

[hooves clattering]

- Tell me, James, is not your heart singing just a little?

- Kind of a sad song, when I think of my empty pockets.

But I see what you mean, padre.

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventuring man ♪