01x30 - Thieves' Market

[bunniefuu]

[swishing] [thwacking]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a bold, adventurin' man ♪

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ Battled for right with a powerful hand ♪

♪ His blade was tempered, and so was he ♪

♪ Indestructible steel was he

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventurin' man ♪

[foreboding singing]

- [Jim] In 1830, one of the sights of New Orleans

was the Thieves' Market.

It appeared to be a grubby collection

of hole-in-the-wall shops with dubious proprietors,

but actually, it was an international center of crime,

a clearinghouse through which much

of Europe's stolen merchandise and plundered jewels

were distributed throughout America.

I'll never forget the day my young friend

Francois de Gravien trapped me into going there with him.

He said he wanted to buy his Aunt Marie a birthday present.

Well...

[birds chirping]

- See, Jim.

This whole place is alive with desperadoes.

They bring their ill-gotten gains here to turn into money.

This is why everything is so cheap.

This is probably booty from pirate ships

or stolen from wealthy houses.

- Is that a fact?

- But, of course.

See?

When they get him to the calaboose,

they'll doubtlessly find he's committed

all sorts of low crimes.

- Yeah.

You been here before?

- No, Scipio told me, our butler.

And he warned me about the pickpockets too.

They swarm people.

[foreboding singing]

- Well, how about a bird?

A parrot maybe, or a c*ck?

Look at this one, huh?

- A c*ck?

For Aunt Marie?

- Why not?

Isn't he a beauty?

[tongue clicking]

- Jim, the selection of a gift is an exercise in taste.

c*ck for me, perhaps, but not for a lady.

There, a jewel perchance.

[bird chirping]

- Perchance.

- Do you suppose these are all stolen jewels?

- Ooh, what if they are?

Anyone here?

[bell ringing]

- God save all here.

Can I help you, sir?

- My friend here is interested in your jewelry.

- A ring, a bracelet, or maybe you would prefer a necklace?

- You may show me what you have.

- This silver elephant's nice, isn't it?

- Please, Jim.

Do I detect a trace of shamrock in your accent?

- And why wouldn't you detect it?

Me name is Bridget O'Brien,

and I'll not have you looking down

your narrow English nose at me.

- You are mistaken.

I am Francois, the Marquis de Gravien, a Frenchman.

- How about this for taste?

- Jim, why don't you go purchase a cigar or something?

- Eh, all right, I will.

Can't go too far wrong with a cigar.

- All these trinkets seem so gaudy.

- Well, tell me, how much would you be wanting to spend?

- I'm prepared to go as high as $5 for a real bargain.

- A real bargain, is it?

And would you keep your noble mouth shut if I gave you one?

- There is no need to be impertinent.

But tell me, what is a bargain?

- Sh.

This is the $15 tray,

but you may have your choice for the $5.

- Parbleu!

But why?

- Well, I have never met a Frenchman before,

especially one so tall and handsome and noble as you are.

- I am?

- Sure, and you could be me undoing.

If I give you a real bargain,

maybe you'll come back and see me again?

- Oh, with certainty, if I can get out.

- Then take your choice before me stepfather

catches me playing the fool.

- This, I think.

My aunt has a new white dress.

Oh, may I have a case for it?

- Ah, wisha.

I might as well be cheated all the way.

- Well, did you exercise your taste?

- Yes, a very fine necklace.

I tell you, Jim, this is the place to shop.

- Don't forget now, m'lord.

You'll be no stranger.

- No indeed, mademoiselle.

I shall return.

- Yeah, from now on he'll buy all his jewelry here,

as his allowance permits, of course.

[birds chirping]

Oh, you Frenchmen.

- I can't get rid of all this stuff here.

- No, New York.

All except the rubies.

I think I got a sale for them.

Bridget, go get them.

- Get them where?

- [laughing] In the $2 tray.

- In the $2 tray?

Oh yeah, I made a sale out of that tray.

- You what?

- For $5.

- Glory be! - and it cost me!

- Why, you little fool!

- How was I to know?

Why didn't you tell me you hid them there?

- A king's ransom for $5.

[thwacking] - Now you're gonna get it.

- Wait, please!

I know who I sold them to.

Oh, oh, he'll sell them back, surely.

- Who was it?

- A French boy, Francois de Gravien,

well, grand marquis he is.

- De Gravien, De Gravien.

Well, they own the Tourne Importing Company.

I think I know where they live.

[men humming]

- Oh, Jim!

Furs, mink!

Oh, how nice!

- I trapped them up at a plantation in Opelousas

especially and personally for you, Marie.

- Aren't they beautiful, Francois?

- Very chic.

- Oh, Francois.

It's exquisite.

- You like it?

- Oh, indeed, I do.

I love rubies.

- Perhaps they're not exactly rubies.

- Oh, I don't care.

They look real.

Oh, quelle dommage, the clasp seems to be broken.

- No!

Jim, it is such a loss,

and I was so careful not to be cheated.

That Irish shop girl, could she have been insincere?

- Well, nevermind, Francois.

I'll have your jeweler fix it for you,

the very top o' the morning.

How's that?

- I'll repay you out of my next week's allowance.

- Oh, thanks.

- But I wanted you to wear it to the opera tonight.

- There'll be other nights, Francois.

It's getting late.

I'll get my wrap.

- She's rather beautiful, my Aunt Marie, no, Jim?

- She's very beautiful, yes, Francois.

- Oh, brandy, Jim?

- Yes, please.

[brandy pouring]

- Cigar?

- No, no thank you.

[Francois clearing throat]

- I welcome this opportunity to speak to you man to man.

- Well, what's on your mind?

- I'm rather worried about my Aunt Marie.

- You are?

- Yes.

This birthday reminds me that she's getting quite old.

- Yeah, all of 21.

- Of course, not too old yet.

- Not too old for what?

- Marriage.

- Oh, I don't think all is lost.

I mean, she'll find a mate.

- And it is so wonderful that here in America,

she need not marry someone who's been born a gentleman,

as she would have to do in France.

- True, true.

- Yet, he must be a gentleman.

- Oh, absolutely.

- And he must be strong and brave,

to be able to face the dangers of the American wilderness.

- Absol.

Whoa, now.

Wait a minute.

- And he must be someone of whom I personally approve,

though taste is not everything.

- Francois, this is America.

This is 1830.

These are matters which your Aunt Marie

will decide for herself.

- Not without my advice and assistance.

[foreboding singing]

[horse trotting]

- Go on!

[knocking]

- Good evening, m'lord.

- Why, Mademoiselle O'Brien!

Come in.

[door closing]

Please sit down.

Will you have a piece of cake?

- No, thank you.

I hope I'm not disturbing you, Marquis.

- Oh, it is not necessary to use my title in America.

You may call me Francois.

- Thank you, Francois.

I had to come.

- Why?

- It's a difference on things, selling that necklace to you.

- [Francois] It certainly was.

- Then you know?

- We discovered it at dinner.

It turned out not to be such a bargain after all.

The repair bill will make a large hole

in next week's allowance.

- Repair bill?

For what, indeed?

- The clasp was broken, but it was very honest of you

to come and admit your mistake.

- The mistake was selling it at all, at all.

It was in the wrong tray.

Do you see?

It's a sentimental keepsake belonging to another man.

So here's your $5, and I'll be taking it back.

- But I do not have it.

Monsieur Bowie took it to have the clasp fixed.

- To a jeweler?

- Yes.

- Oh, wisha.

It's a black day entirely.

- But I could get it for you in the morning.

- But I get me hidin' tonight.

Oh, he'll give it to me, surely.

- Can't your mother protect you?

- She's under the sod these five years.

- What does he beat you with?

- His belt.

- This is infamous.

Where is this fellow?

- Outside, across the street,

and the bird man with him to hold me.

- Then I can still save you.

- How?

- I will speak to him personally

and tell him the necklace will be returned tomorrow.

- Wait, wait, you'd better not.

- Why not?

- He wouldn't believe you.

- But I will give him my word of honor.

Come.

- She's bringing the kid with her.

I'll bet she didn't get it.

- She's bringing something just as good.

[singing]

- Good morning, Mr. Zant.

- Ah, Mr. Bowie, good morning.

- Oh, yes.

- You've not been here for some time.

I wondered, do you no longer buy

pretty things for the ladies?

[Jim laughing]

Or are you now married?

- No, I'm not married yet,

although, I did have an offer last night.

Maybe I shoulda taken it.

- Well, who knows?

Perhaps a little gift will solve the matter.

- No, nothing like that, I'm afraid.

Just the clasp on this necklace needs repairing.

[clattering]

About how long do you think it'll take to mend it, Mr. Zant?

[Mr. Zant sighing]

[crashing]

Hmm?

Mr. Zant?

Where are ya?

Mr. Zant, what's the matter?

Hmm?

Are you all right?

What is it?

- Where'd you get these?

- Huh?

Oh, from a friend of mine, a young Frenchman.

- And where did he get them?

- Well, he charmed them out of a young Irish lady

only yesterday.

- Then he should return them immediately.

- Return them? Why?

- Mr. Bowie, we're old friends.

The stones are unmistakable.

You should know as well as I

that these are the Kashmiri rubies.

- Well, I give you my word, Mr. Zant,

I don't know any such thing.

What are the Kashmiri rubies?

I mean, are they valuable?

- Valuable?

The Kashmiri rubies are beyond value.

Napoleon brought them back from Egypt

and presented them as a diplomatic gift

to the prince of Luxembourg.

Their theft from his castle last year

was the sensation of the continent.

- Well, bust my breeches [laughing]!

That Francois [laughing].

- Francois?

- Well, thank you very much, Mr. Zant.

[men singing] [knocking]

- Come in.

- Mr. Bowie's here, and he asks

if he may pay his respects right away.

- Certainly, show him in.

- Mr. Bowie?

- Oh, Scipio, ask Master Francois

to come here at once, will you?

- Yes, sir.

- Thank you.

Good morning, Marie.

- Good morning.

- Well, I could hardly wait to tell you.

- Tell me what?

- That Francois.

I'll never quarrel with his taste again.

So this necklace he gave you?

- Yes?

- Well, my jeweler took one look at this,

and he keeled right over and fainted [laughing].

- Fainted? Why?

- Well, it seems that these are the famous Kashmiri rubies

stolen last year from the duke of Luxembourg [laughing].

- Well then, they must be returned.

- [Jim] Can you imagine?

- No wonder I thought they were beautiful.

[knocking]

- Beg your pardon, Miss Marie.

Master Francois isn't in his room.

His bed wasn't even slept in.

- What?

- And a boy just delivered this note at the door.

- Search the house, Scipio, right away.

Go on, hurry.

- Yes, sir, yes, sir.

- Jim!

Jim, they're holding Francois!

- What's it say?

- "If you want to see your nephew again,

"take rubies to bird shopping,

"Thieves' Market at exactly noon today.

"Drop in third parrot cage from left.

"Come alone.

"You will be watched."

[foreboding music]

- Penny for the blind man?

Thank you.

[bird chirping]

Well, dog my catch, a whole buck.

Alms?

Alms for a blind man?

[birds chirping]

Penny for the blind man?

[parrot squawking]

[birds chirping]

Alms?

Penny for the blind man?

[birds chirping]

- Watch me birds.

[laughing] Smooth as silk!

- Ah, good!

We'll take the four o'clock steamboat to St. Louis.

Now you go get three tickets,

and I'll take care of that kid.

- [Bird Man] In broad daylight?

- Well, I'll just wrap him into a sack of bricks

and drop him into the channel.

- [Bird Man] Do we have to k*ll him?

- [Stepfather] He saw us, didn't he?

He was in the shop, wasn't he?

- [Bird Man] Well, you're right.

We'd be caught in an hour.

[birds chirping]

- Alms?

- What about the rest of our stuff?

- Ah, just our clothes.

Bridget'll pack 'em.

Bridget?

Bridget, come in here.

Bridget?

Where is that brat?

The key.

Where is the key?

- What key?

- The key to the warehouse.

She must've taken it.

Come on.

- Who'll watch me birds?

- Leave them to the cats.

- Alms?

[foreboding singing] [birds chirping]

[foreboding singing]

- You betrayed me!

- Nevermind that.

We must hurry.

They'll be coming any minute.

- I reposed my trust in you.

I offered you my assistance.

- And now I'm offering you mine.

- Your feelings were not sincere.

In brief, I have been used as a dupe.

- It's tied in a sack.

You're being dumped in the river

if you don't get out of here.

Come on, now.

- Not a step.

I'll not accept this sacrifice.

- Must you act the mule you are?

- Bridget, this is America.

Here it is not a question of birth.

Anybody can be anything he or she wants to be.

With your beauty and charm, you could be a fine lady.

- Oh, Francois, it's a fine aristocratic air

you have on you entirely.

[door opening]

- Why, he's gone!

She's let him loose.

- That makes two sacks when we catch them.

- [Blind Man] Alms?

- They must be around here someplace.

They haven't had time--

- Alms for the blind man.

- Get out of here.

- Penny for a poor blind man?

- I said get out of here.

[slamming]

[crashing]

[punching]

[thudding]

[gasping]

[thudding]

[thwacking]

- Francois?

Where are you?

- Up here, Jim.

[crashing]

- Oh!

[foreboding singing]

[moaning]

[upbeat singing]

- I went to a convent when I was a little girl.

You'll love the Ursuline sisters.

They'll make you into a proper little lady.

- Faith, it'll be making a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

- But the Mother Superior said you had no room for Bridget.

- I talked her into it.

- That was not the act of a friend, Jim.

- She'll be home for Christmas.

- But this is February.

- The sisters are waiting in a carriage.

- Thank you, Scipio.

- Alas, Bridget.

What else can I say but adieu?

- Francois, the nose on you, it isn't narrow at all, at all.

And may the good Lord watch over it.

- And keep it from poking into places

like the Thieves' Market.

Oh, these Frenchmen.

[Marie laughing] [men singing]

♪ Jim Bowie, Jim Bowie

♪ He was a fighter, a fearless and mighty adventurin' man ♪