02x08 - Burpless Bean/Slap Happy

[bunniefuu]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were to scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.

Wait--i can do it.

I swear.

No.

No!

Why do we do this talent show

Every year, slinkman?

It helps the scouts build

Self-esteem, sir.

Some people don't deserve

Self-esteem.

Aah!

No.

No, no, wait.

Wait.

I can do it.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

Very good, camper.

You'll have plenty of time to

Astound us tonight.

I can do it!

Who's next, slinkman?

It's the, uh, big finale,

Sir.

Our very own bean scout chorus

With their rendition of

"Camptown races," led by edward

Of pinto cabin.

Edward?

Yes, sir.

Not the monkey?

No, sir.

What ever.

♪ Camptown ladies

Sing this song ♪

[Burping] ♪ doo da

♪ Doo da

♪ Camptown racetrack 5 miles

Long ♪

[Burping] ♪ oh

De doo da day ♪

♪ Going to run all night

Going to run all day ♪

[Burping] ♪ bet my money on

The bobtail nag ♪

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

Ah!

Bay?

Scoutmaster lumpus, edward had

Another one of his episodes.

Should I get his anger bag?

He'll be fine.

See you tonight, scouts.

[Laughs]

Come on, slinkman.

Take 5, everybody.

Not you, lazlo.

Edward, i--

Lazlo, why do you hate me?

I don't hate you, edward.

I love all creatures, even

Whatever you are.

Then why can't you burp?

I guess I never learned how.

All my life I've wanted to

Lead a chorus while they burped

"Camptown races."

It's a simple wish, I know, but

An elusive one, nevertheless,

Until 3 weeks ago when slinkman

Told me I'd be conducting this

Year's chorus.

Imagine my surprise when he told

Me the song would be "camptown

Races."

I said imagine it!

Oh, sorry.

Wow.

Now, I know what you're

Thinking.

Why don't I just cut you from

The choir and give your part to

Raj?

That's not what I'm thinking.

Well, I already tried that,

And raj said...

No way, jose.

If you fire lazlo, I will quit

In protest.

Wow.

What did clam say?

He just repeated the last

Word raj said.

Protest.

Yeah.

That sounds like something he

Would say.

Don't you see, lazlo?

I can't do this without them,

And they won't do without you!

There's only one way out of this

Mess.

Please let me teach you how to

Burp.

Let me teach you how to burp!

Lesson one.

The soda burp.

Chug one of these babies, and

You'll be burping like a champ

In no time.

But, edward, these sodas

Belong to chef mcmuesli.

Relax.

He'll never miss them.

These are just the sodas he

Confiscates from campers because

They're non-organic.

See?

Soda is for losers.

Now drink.

Warning.

You are about to ingest an

Unhealthy beverage.

Why not consider a tall glass of

Turnip juice accompanied by a

Shot of wheat grass for a heal--

Drink.

Ahh.

Drink more.

Ahh.

Give me that.

[Burp]

Ha ha!

You did it!

That's nothing.

Watch this.

[Burp]

Yeah!

Here's one my brother taught

Me.

[Burp]

[Laughing]

Wait.

Wait.

Here's a good one.

[Burping like a sprinkler]

[Laughter]

[Burp]

Here's one.

Gee, edward.

You don't look so good.

I feel a little bloated, to

Tell you the truth.

Hey!

You kids get out of my soda

Patch.

Chef mcmuesli!

Soda is for losers!

Lazlo, please!

Other toxic ingredients

Such as high--

[Burping]

Lazlo, what are you doing?

Edward's teaching me how to

Burp.

Cool.

Soda is for losers!

[Burping]

I think we lost him.

That's enough lessons for

Now.

Oh!

Edward, what about tonight?

You have a tape recorder,

Don't you?

Yes.

Bring it.

I'll tape-record a burp before

The show, and then you can just

Play it.

Isn't that cheating?

Aah!

I don't care.

[Burping]

Ok.

See you tonight.

Ah, showbiz.

Unbelievable.

This is the most amazing story

I've ever read.

Amy, now what you reading?

Oh, hi, lazlo.

I'm reading the latest issue of

My favorite comic books "tales

To stupefy."

Perhaps you'd care to join my

Super secret club.

Well, I'd love to, but I have

To go find my tape recorder.

I have a big performance

Tonight.

Well, here.

Take last week's issue with you.

You can read it and tell me what

You think.

Thanks, friend.

It's a good one, too.

It's all about a creature who

Can't burp.

A creature who can't burp?

Gosh.

This changes everything.

No, wait.

I can do it.

[Gasps]

I did it.

[Applause]

Way to go, sheldon.

Thank you, sheldon.

Ok.

Now for a special treat--

That big finale you've all been

Waiting for--our very own bean

Scout chorus.

All right, lazlo.

Give me the tape recorder.

I didn't bring it.

What?

Why not?

We don't need it anymore.

What do you mean, we don't

Need it anymore?

I've got something better

Planned.

Don't worry, edward.

A comic book told me why I can't

Burp.

And why's that?

I'm a robot.

And this year's conductor--

Edward of pinto cabin.

[Applause]

Lazlo...

Thinks he's a robot.

We have a little surprise for

You, edward.

All 4 of your older brothers

Are here in attendance.

Hiya, fellas.

Maestro.

[Cough]

♪ Camptown ladies

Sing this song ♪

[Burping] ♪ doo da

♪ Doo da

♪ Camptown racetrack



[Burping] ♪ oh

De doo da day ♪

♪ Going to run all night

Going to run all day ♪

[Burping] ♪ bet my money

On a bobtail nag ♪

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

Robot.

[Gasps]

[Groovy music plays]

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the

Somebody bet on the... ♪

[Cheering]

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

♪ Somebody bet on the...

Somebody bet on the... ♪

[Cheering]

Great job, lazlo.

Thanks, slinkman.

But I couldn't have done it

Without edward.

Say, where is edward anyway?

Lazlo, we did it.

I never thought I'd say this,

But I'm so proud of you.

[Burp]

Hey, you burped.

Huh.

I guess I'm not a robot.

[Laughter]

[Burp]

[Laughter]

[Burp]

Edward?

[Groans]

Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.

[



Eek, eek.

Wait, no, wait.

I can do it.





]

Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.

Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were to scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ And lazlo was his name-o ♪

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



[Singing]

[Telephone rings]

Oh, look at that.

A ringing fish.

Who is it?

Oh, another one.

Hey, there, slinkman.

Wonderful day for fishing, huh?

Phone call from the legume

Council, sir.

The legume council?

It seems they've chosen you

To be grand legume.

Grand legume?

The celebrated leader of the

Secret scoutmaster order of

Legumes?

What took you old coots so long?

Where am i?

Slinkman, am I grand legume?

Um, what's grand legume, sir?

Darn.

Hello?

Lumpus here.

Wuga wuga.

Iga iga.

Aah!

Morning, brother lily toes.

Brother boo-boo here.

All set for the legume council

Meeting today?

Slinkman, turn around.

Oh, yes, brother boo-boo.

I have it marked right here on

My calendar.

Legume council meeting here at

Camp kidney.

Uh-huh.

What's that?

A big honor?

Oh, yes, of course.

Looking forward to it.

Ok, then.

See you and the council later.

Slinkman?

Yes, sir.

It's time to re-stitch my

Underwear labels.

More color coding, sir?

No.

After this afternoon, they will

Have to read "property of grand

Legume lumpus, leader of the

Legume council's super-secret

Order of scoutmasters."

What makes you think that

They'll pick you for grand

Legume?

Because I've groveled the

Most.

And they're having their

All-important meeting here.

If you'd like to make a call,

Please hang up and try again.

Not to mention I've mastered

The secret handshake flawlessly.

Only members of this

Super-secret society know of the

Secret handshake, slinkman.

If the secret handshake ever

Fell into the wrong hands, the

Legume responsible would be

Plucked from the vine, refried,

And never be heard from again.

Everyone ready?

Lazlo, why am I putting on a

Yoga record?

Not just any yoga, raj.

It's kunda beanie yoga.

Yoga.

I'm going to lead the whole

Camp today through kunda beanie

Consciousness.

Cosmic.

Plus, it's great exercise.

So let's practice.

Ok.

One kunda beanie coming up.

Good morning, campers.

Let's start with a basic tree

Pose.

Take a deep breath.

Connect with your inner camper.

Good.

Now, very slowly pitch the tent.

Rowing pose.

Rowing.

You were right, lazlo.

I am feeling very connected to

My inner camper.

Scout salute left.

Scout salute right.

Tie the knot.

This one's my favorite.

I love tying the knot.

Let's see your knot, raj.

Very creative.

I love being creative.

This mosquito is trying to

Connect with my inner nose.

Help the old lady.

Help me!

Hike the trail.

Mend the patch.

Rake the leaves.

Eat the s'more.

Fold the map.

Advanced.

[Screaming]

Oh, no!

Wuga wuga iga iga aah.

[Screams]

Wuga wuga iga iga aah.

[Screams]

Cool.

Wuga wuga iga iga aah.

[Screams]

Wuga wuga iga iga aah.

[Screams]

I didn't know there was a

B-side.

Kunda beanie dance!

[Screams]

Wuga wuga iga iga aah.

Ha ha!

I love this, raj.

Aah!

You invented kunda

Beanie-cise.

Aah!

I did not invent anything.

Aah!

I'll teach it to the whole

Camp today.

Aah!

Kunda beanie-cise.

They'll love it.

Aah!

I'm not doing any activity

Called kunda beanie-cise.

Come on, everyone.

We'll show you how it goes.

Then you try.

I thought we were doing acorn

Dioramas.

Ready?

Wuga wuga--

Iga iga aah!

Can I please turn around now,

Sir?

Come on, slinkman.

Just a few more minutes of

Practicing this secret

Handshake, and I'm a shoo-in for

Grand legume.

Wuga wuga iga iga aah!

Ok.

Done.

You can turn around now.

Just think, slinkman.

In a matter of hours, I'll be

The leader of all the legumes.

I can almost hear their car

Rolling through the gate right

Now.

They'll all come running out

Greeting me with their secret

Handshake just like those two

Jellyheads.

Slinkman!

Come on, everyone.

Wuga wuga...

Hey, this isn't bad.

Yeah.

And you have to remember stuff.

Wuga wuga...

Iga iga--

Aah!

Slinkman, how can this be?!

The handshake breached!

Lazlo, whole camp--

They all know it!

How did this happen, slinkman?

It's a mystery, sir.

The council will be here in a

Matter of hours!

If they think it was me that let

Out the handshake, my chances of

Becoming grand legume are

History.

Hey, scoutmaster lumpus.

Have you learned kunda

Beanie-cise?

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Cool hat.

Aagh!

We've got to do something,

Slinkman!

These campers must stop doing my

Handshake before the council

Gets here!

Sir, why don't you just teach

Them a new handshake?

Hiya there, lazlo,

My favorite little camper.

Hiya, scoutmaster lumpus.

Oh, what you got here?

Kunda beanie-cise,

The lazlo way.

What are you doing with these

Videos?

Shipping them all over the

World.

Got 12 million so far.

The kunda beanie-cise is the

Hottest-selling aerobics video

Of the year.

Also in dvd.

Hey!

Oh, yes.

The bunda bunda thingamajigger.

Well, I didn't want to say

Anything, but something about

Your little handshake doesn't

Seem right.

Really?

Which part?

The whole thing seems wrong.

The whole thing?

Then I'll throw them all away.

It's the end of kunda

Beanie-cise forever!

Wow.

That was easier than I thought.

Guess there's no reason to show

You a new one now.

Catch you later.

Show me a new beanie-cise?

You're the greatest, scoutmaster

Lumpus!

I need to stop thinking out

Loud.

All right.

I'm only gonna show you this

Once, so watch closely.

Is this close enough?

Ew.

Now, first extend your hand.

Like this?

Yeah.

Great, kid.

Then I connect mine to yours.

Then we shake up.

Then we shake down.

There.

And then what?

And then you show it to your

Friends.

Ah.

Can we call it the lumpus?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whatever floats your boat.

Ok.

Recap.

First we extend, and then we--

Wuga wuga iga iga.

Oh, no, no!

That's not how it goes.

Extend.

Connect.

Shake up.

Shake down.

You got it?

Then we--aah!

Yes.

Then we--no!

There's no "aah" in the lumpus.

No "aah?"

No.

"Aah" is over.

It's old.

It's yesterday.

The lumpus is new, exciting,

Everything the mundi bundi

Moppity wop isn't.

So the lumpus can be an arm

Wriggle?

Sure, as long as it's new.

Ok.

Let's add tippy toes.

I'm not sure if tippy toes

Are really necessary.

But doing it on one leg is.

Oh, yes, yes.

Whoa!

Crawl under the bed.

Pop up on the other side.

Toga jump.

[Yelling gibberish]

Toga jump through the ring

Of fire.

Shake with melvin.

Yee-ha!

Ride him, horsey!

Uh, but, sir...

Uh, slinkman, ha ha ha,

What is it?

Can't you see I'm busy?

The legumes are here, sir.

Cracking cranberries!

It's against the rules for them

To see me without my dress

Robes.

Whew!

Made it just in time.

Aah!

The legumes!

What a surprise.

I didn't expect you to be in my

Robe closet.

Of course not.

If you could predict our

Movements, then we would lose

Our secretness.

You know secrecy is our sacred

Secret, because without secrecy,

We couldn't be secretive.

♪ Secrecy

Secrecy

Rah, rah, rah! ♪

Uh, rah?

Robe yourself.

Just a minute please.

[Groaning]

I'm gonna be sick.

There goes my breakfast.

Ok, brothers.

I'm decent.

Are you ready for your new

Honor, lily toes?

♪ Honor, honor

Rah, rah, rah! ♪

Rah!

Oh, am I ever.

Good.

Huh?

Oh, of course!

What kind of legume am i?

I almost forgot to do the

Handshake.

Wuga wuga.

Arm wiggle.

[Gasping]

Uh, let me start over.

Wuga wuga tippy toes.

Ha ha ha ha!

Where did that come from?

Let's see.

Way up in there.

Oh, that's not it.

Ahem!

We extend and connect, and then

Arm wiggle.

Whoo!

Tippy toes.

That's new.

Don't forget the one leg.

Crawl under the bed.

Pop up on the other side.

Toga jump.

La la la la la la la la la la la

La la la.

Toga jump through a ring of

Fire.

Shake with melvin.

Yee ha!

Ride him, horsey.

Then shake down!

Ah ha.

Dang.

These--all right.

Fine.

I forgot the stupid handshake.

Well, big deal.

Whoo!

We have a secret handshake,

'Cause we're so secretive.

Well, I'll let you guys in on a

Secret.

I don't want your stupid honors,

'Cause I quit!

[Gasping]

[Muttering]

It's even better than I

Thought it would be.

Yeah.

It's perfect.

I love how it ends with

Panting.

It complements my height.

Huh?

Council, our mission is

Accomplished.

Brother lily toes, since we

Couldn't recall you having ever

Contributed anything to the

Legumes, we gave you the

Distinguished honor of designing

A new secret handshake.

You did?

And it's far better than

Anything we thought you capable

Of.

Meeting adjourned.

I love the insults.

Who would have thought of

Togas?

How about that arm wiggle?

It complements my height.

And rember: keep it a

Secret!

Ride him, horsey.

Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.


Eek, eek.

Wait, no, wait.

I can do it.


Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.

Eek, eek.

Wait.

No, wait.

I can do it.