02x02 - No Beads, No Business/Miss Fru Fru

[bunniefuu]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were to scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪

[



Attention, attention...

It's time to play

The wheel of duties!

That's right!

It's that time again where each

Camper contestant gets to spin

The wheel for which duty he'll

Get for the day.

Spin it!

Spin it!

Ok, dave, you're up.

Oh, lazlo, I am so excited!

I just know that this time I'm

Going to get camp store.

Leaf raking!

Leaf raking!

Yeah!

[Cheering]

Here, kid.

Knock yourself out.

Oh!

Get on up here, clam!

Clam...

Camp therapist!

Yeah!

Camp therapist, yay!

Raj, get on up here.

Yee-haw!

Oh!

Camp store, camp store,

Camp store!

Go, raj!

Go, raj!

Come on, camp store!

Camp store, camp store!

Camp store, camp store,

Camp store!

[Campers gasps]

[Cheering]

What are you so happy about?

It's just a dumb old shack that

Takes necklace beads instead of

Real money.

Edward, you're up.

Oh, yay.

Shave the scoutmaster's back!

Oh!

Lucky!

[Humming]

"No beads, no business."

[Humming]

[Knocking]

Yes?

What is it?

Um...

When are you gonna open?

I need nasal spray real bad.

I am sorry, but we're not yet

Open to the public.

Can I at least get some

Tissue pa--

[Humming]

Raj, I'd really just like--

Look, sir,

I am really very sorry you have

Sinus difficulties,

But we are working hard to

Enhance your camp store shopping

Experience.

What's going on?

Store's not open yet.

When's it gonna open?

I need pants.

Come on, raj.

Lumpus needs more razors

And skip needs pants!

[Campers grumbling]

Oh, that's it.

I'm out of here.

One more sugar cube.

[Calliope playing]

All right!

Raj's camp store is now

Officially open!

Tada!

Hello?

Hello, raj.

Oh.

Hey, lazlo.

How is your daily chore going?

Phew!

Excellent, raj.

I got to dredge leakey lake

Again.

So, how's the old camp store

Coming along, eh?

[Sighs]

What's the matter?

You're finally getting to run

The camp store--

The chore you wanted.

Yeah, well, it looks like the

Camp store doesn't want me.

I haven't had a single customer

Since I opened this morning.

I'm just not cut out for retail.

Nonsense, raj.

You couldn't be more wrong.

I've never seen perishables

Organized and stacked in such

Borderline obsessive-compulsive

Manner.

Really?

Since I'm finished with my

Chore, why don't I help you out

With your store chore?

Two friends working together.

What could be better?

Ok, lazlo,

It's really quite simple.

Let's say you're the customer.

What can I get you, loyal

Customer?

Uh, a toenail waxer, please.

That will be 20 beads,

Please.

Ha ha.

Ok.

Here are your imaginary beads.

Very good.

Remember, no beads,

No business.

No beads, no business.

Step right up, shoppers.

It's the camp store grand

Reopening.

You're buying,

We're selling!

Why, here comes some smart

Consumers now.

That sounds quite painful.

For the next 3 seconds--



Chicken milk at the camp store!

So...

The store is finally open?

This way!

May I help you?

We'll take some of that

Chicken milk.

8 Beads, please.

Yeah, well...

Here's the thing,

We don't have any beads.

What?

How are you gonna pay for the

Milk?

[Register dings]

Sold.

Sold?!

Lazlo, my chum,

You made our first official

Sale!

Congratulations!

So, how much did you make?

A flower?

Where are the beads?!

Oops.

Oops?

What is that "oops"?

There is no "oops."

Please, lazlo,

No beads, no business.

No beads, no business.

Got it.

Won't happen again.

Don't you worry.

Pizza, pizza.

Pizza pie.

Thanks!

Did I hear a ka-ching?!

Whoo!

Business is really picking up.

Yep.

Oh, what's this?

Did you trade merchandise for

This--this...

Beautiful poem.

Beautiful poem.

Yes.

Lazlo, did you rember your

Mantra?

My mantra?

Hmm.

Um...

Ah.

No bees, no beeswax.

[Growls]

Well...

You got two words right.

And for getting those words

Correct, I am giving you a

Promotion.

You are now senior box stacker.

Wow!

Are you finally open?

Hello?!

I still need nasal spray!

Yes.



I don't have any beads.

No beads, no business.

Can I at least have one

Sample spray?

No beads, no business.

How 'bout I just sniff the

Lid?

How about no beads,

No business!

Well, does it cost any beads

To just stand here?

No.

Just step away from the counter.

You're scaring the customers.

What are you staring at?

Where did you get that

Ice cream sandwich?

The camp has been dry for

Months.

I saved it.

It's probably the only one for

Miles.

Ahem.

Can I have it?

6 Beads, please.

I have no beads.

No beads, no business.

Hey, raj!

Wait till you see how I arranged

The boxes!

Raj?

Raj?

Are you ok?

Oh, proprietor,

Thanks again for the ice cream

Sandwich nasal spray trade.

Trade.

[Gasps]

Raj!

What was that rule of yours,

Raj?

Uh...

No beads, no business!

Just what are you trying to

Say?!

Admit it, raj.

You broke the rule and traded

Nasal spray for ice cream.

No, I didn't.

You have ice cream all over

Your face, and I thought

Elephants were lactose

Intolerant.

I am quickly becoming

Lazlo intolerant!

Face it, raj,

You're just like me.

Piggly-wiggly!

You did not just say that!

Just like me, just like me!

Aagh!

My ears!

You did not say that!

Maybe you were right, raj.

Maybe you weren't cut out for

Retail.

[Growls]

You...

Can not...

Say that!

Hey!

Free chips!

Hopping holly,

What have I done?!

I've become an anarchist!

It's ok, raj.

Let it out.

Express your--

Aagh!

I'm bloody angry!

Aagh!

Raj!

Get ahold of yourself!

Aagh!

[Panting]

Raj?

[Gasping]

Raj, it's over.

Look.

There's nothing left in the

Whole store.

You even pulled all the nails

Out of the wall.

We have serious issues with

Our friendship, lazlo.

Words.

Say words.

Hmm!

Hmm!

Lazlo: "blah, blah, blah."

Raj: "blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Oh, I get it now.

Clam wants us to communicate

Using sock puppets.

I'll start.

My sock is you, raj.

I'm raj, and I'm willing to risk

Losing friendship for my beloved

Camp store.

Well, I'm lazlo,

And I'll trade anything for a

Flower.

Oh, it's time to count all my

Peanuts again.

Oh, oh, it's time to give

Everything away

And live in peace!

Well, I'm a shopkeeper,

And I'm boring.

Oh, yeah?!

Well, my name is sir edmund

Lazlo, and I'm climbing

Mt. Everest.

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah,

Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!

Look at me!

I am on top of a mountain!

Excuse me, sir edmund,

A freak storm has completely

Destroyed our route back down

The mountain.

What?!

Well, did you try radioing

Base camp?

Summit team to base camp,

Can you read me?!

All I can hear is angels.

No one told us about

A puppet show.

Angels?

Then it's happening already!

Mountain sickness!

We're doomed!

We'll never see our families

Again, will we, sir?

[Gasps]

Or our toes!

Sir, can I just say

That it's been a privilege to

Climb with you.

[Sniffling]

And you have been a most loyal

Sherpa, punji.

You're like a brother

I never had.

And you are like the puppy my

Parents never let me have.

Buddy!

Pal!

[Cheering]

All right, you two

Fiddleheads, how'd things go in

The camp store today?

Make any beads?

Nope.

No beads.

What?

No beads!

That little turtle across the

Street, now he has the right

Idea.

If I play sock puppets,

Do I have to use your stinky

Socks?

I don't want to use your

Stinky socks.

[Knocking]

[







]

[Sniffling]

Come on, raj!

When are you gonna open?

Hey, raj, I need nasal spray

Real bad!

Oh, that's it.

I'm out of here!

[Toot]

[Reveille plays]

Attention, campers,

Attention, campers--

It's time for camp lazlo!

♪ There were to scouts

Who made a friend

And lazlo was his name-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ And lazlo was his name-o

♪ And then that trio

Went to camp

And turned it upside-o

L-a-z-l-o ♪

♪ L-a-z-l-o

♪ L-a-z-l-o

And lazlo was his name-o ♪


Wow!

I can't believe we did it.

I can't believe we

Accomplished everything on our

List of things to do for the

Perfect squirrel scout day.

I am sure an glad that we

Decided to save the best thing

On the list for last...

Snail bathing.

Ha ha ha.

But it pales in comparison to

The thrills and spills of hornet

Racing.

I'm still tingling from that

Exciting fifth race.

I think scummy dipping was

The best thing on the perfect

Day list.

I do so love swimming in a good

Puddle of pond muck.

Scummy dipping is not nearly

As fun as snail bathing.

Snail bathing is not even

Close to being as fun.

No way!

Hornet racing is the most

Fun.

Scummy dipping is the best,

And you know it, patsy.

Scummy dipping doesn't hold a

Candle to the refined level of

Disgusting that--wait a minute!

What if we combined all 3?!

Snail bathing, hornet racing,

And scummy dipping?!

Scummy snail racing!

Yay!

[Humming]

[Chuckles]

Oh, look!

My old miss fru fru pageant

Picture.

[Giggles]

Be true to the fru fru spirit we

Adore and your heart will soar

Forever more.

Ah!

The miss fru fru motto.

I can't believe I still

Remember it.

Look, ms. Mucus.

Wasn't I the prettiest

Contestant?

The truest contestant?

You were the only contestant.

I know.

Wouldn't it be great to relive

It all again?

Hmm.

[Gasps]

Won't the young ladies of

Acorn flats just love it?!

Go, go!

Come on!

You can do it!

Ms. Mucus,

Call a camp assembly.

It's time for a new miss fru fru

To soar again!

Be true to the fru fru spirit we

Adore and your heart will soar

Forever more.

It is a motto that each and

Every one of you beautiful and

Refined young ladies will

Someday know by heart

The way I do.

So, I am pleased to announce

That I am officially reinstating

The annual fru fru pageant!

Yay!

[Girls grumbling]

Don't you ladies look fru fru

In those lovely dresses?!

Okey-dokey!

The public speaking portion of

The miss fru fru pageant will

Teach you to speak with

Authority.

Gretchen will demonstrate.

[Giggling]

Grrr!

Ahem.

This is a tree poem

By, um, heimlich mcmusley.

Oh, that's a good one,

Gretchen!

[Snickering]

[Growling]

Ahem.

O tree, o tree

O tree, o tree.

[Snickering]

O free the lea

The lea!

[Laughter]

That's it!

[Screaming]

[Grunting]

Uh-oh!

Gee.

I thought you liked trees.

Now, gretchen,

This is not--

Fru fru.

For the second portion of the

Fru fru pageant, you will be

Expected to showcase a talent

That is considered both useful

And practical.

Ow!

Whoa!

Whoo!

Aagh!

Hey, look at me.

I'm useful and practical.

Ooh!

Oof!

Whoa!

Hey!

Watch the fine china!

Whoa, nina!

[Screaming]

Maybe this would be a good

Time to work on the swimsuit

Event.

Swimsuit event is meant to test

Your ability to project posture,

Poise, and grace...

In a swimsuit!

Ha ha.

Now, everyone, strike a fru fru

Pose and look fabulous!

No, no.

Not quite.

Mm-mmm.

Try turning like this...

And then this.

Ooh, there we go!

And, nina, you need to do this.

[Grunting]

And voila!

And, pasty, you could try this

And this and that.

Now we're looking fru fru!

Almandine, will you give us

Just a teensy bit of gas,

S'il vous plait?

Ooh!

Yee-haw!

[Cheering]

Oh!

That does it!

You squirrels want to do fru fru

Your way, hmm?

I'll give you fru fru your way!

I'm finished with acorn flats

Fru fru!

Go, go!

[All cheering]

Attention, squirrels,

Attention, squirrels.

I thought that you should all

Know something very important.

This camp isn't fru fru.

It's doo doo!

I quit!

[Footsteps]

Au revoir!

Au revoir?

Oh, I feel kind of bad for

Ms. Doe.

She really had her heart set on

This fru fru thing.

What does "fru fru"

Mean anyway?

Well, why don't we

Go look it up.

Come on!

All right, let's see.

"Phish.

Phrank."

Aha!

"Phru phru.

Refers to the mysterious

Ceremony in which some primitive

Tribes believe they are given

The ability to fly."

Ability to fly?

Oh, that's weird.

Wait a minute!

Don't you girls remember

The fru fru motto?

Be true to the fru fru spirit

We adore and your heart will

Soar forever more.

Soar!

She was telling us that we would

Fly!

That's why she wanted us to do

All that dumb girly stuff.

So we could be given the

Ability to fly?

I think I'd like to be given

The ability to fly.

Then let's put on the fru fru

Pageant, and she'll have to stay

And give the winner the ability

To fly!

Well, I think that's

Everything.

I have my makeup bag, my backup

Makeup bag, and my carryon

Makeup bag in case my luggage

Gets lost.

Au revoir, ms. Mucus.

Good luck turning these tomboys

Into proper girls!

I am going to a place where

Fru fru girls like us are

Appreciated.

Paris, france!

[Fart]

Those girls are a lost cause.

There is absolutely nothing that

Will keep me at this camp.

Huh?!

Oh, my!

It's my tierra.

What is it doing out here?

Oh, ha ha ha.

That's right,

I kind of flipped out.

Ha ha ha.

Oh, I'm glad I found it.

Oh, whoops!

Tricky little fella.

Ha ha.

Hey!

You tierra there!

Oh, get back here!

Oof!

Hi, ms. Doe!

The white zone is for

Immediate loading and...

Girls?

We're ready to be fru fru

Now!

Oh!

My girls are in beautiful

Dresses with fru fru

Accessories!

Fru fru earrings!

Manicures.

Contemporary hair styles!

[Gasps]

And the decorations are...

Oh!

Oh!

Call for boarding flight 6-4.

Oh!

Hmm.

What?

I'm on break.

Creative!

You girls do care!

All I can say is let the fru fru

Pageant begin!

Hurray!

Hurray!

Hello, and welcome.

The squirrel scouts are proud to

Announce the welcome return of

The miss fru fru pageant.

And we will begin with the

Public speaking portion.

Ms. Gretchen.

Thank you for flying acorn

Flats air.

My name is gretchen, and I will

Be your flight attendant.

The emergency exits are to your

Left and right.

And in case of decompression,

Place the oxygen mask over your

Face like this.

Thank you.

Ok.

Oxygen's good.

Ms. Nina, and her runway

Skills in the talent portion.

Interpretive, post-modern,

Trend-setting.

Oh, I love it!

Ms. Honey's luggage-throwing

Talent.

Brief, but witty.

And now, without further ado,

The moment we've all been

Waiting for...

The swimsuit portion.

And that concludes our fru fru

Pageant.

Oh, yay!

Oh, oh!

And now ms. Doe will crown

The new miss fru fru!

Oh, well, you all did so

Well.

Uh...

Uh...

You all won!

You're all winners!

Oh!

Did you hear that?!

We won!

I can fly!

Oh, yay!

Oh, yes, girls!

You all can--

Fly?

Step aside, girls.

I'll show you how it's done.

Here I go!

Oof!

[Fart]

Oh.

Did...

Did I soar, ms. Doe?

Yes, nina.

I think you just did.

That's good.

Because I definitely feel sore.

[Knocking]

[Sniffling]

Come on, raj!

When are you gonna open?

Hey, raj, I need nasal spray

Real bad!

Oh, that's it.

I'm out of here!

[Toot]

[Buzz]