02x45 - Love Makes Me Daffy/Genghis Cal

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[FOGHORN HUMMING]

[GASPS]

Yo, I say the only tough
part about being
a party planner,

is having
a sharp beak.

There you are.
Everything has
to be perfect

for tonight's
presentation.

Full spread
of food, check.

Ice sculpture,
check, check.

My esteemed guests
are going to be in awe

when I reveal my
brand new invention.

Well, looks like
I say,

looks like you have
everything covered

with your snooze fist.

So I am going
to head out.

The guests will arrive
in about an hour.

Until then, I need you
to keep the sculptures

cold with this freeze-ray.

This was not
in my contract.

The doctor said I should
not fly after getting my
eyes dilated.

But what do doctors know!

[WHOOPING]

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[WHISTLING]

Hey, darlin'.

Why don't you and I
find a nice pond

and gobble up some
pieces of old
stale bread together.

Ooh, the silent type, huh.

Oh, say boy,

you trying to start
a conversation
with that thing?

Trying to. But she
doesn't want
any part of it.

Oh yeah, it looks like
she's giving you
the cold shoulder.

Get it, cold shoulder.

[BOTH LAUGH]

No.

Come over here, son.

You know that swan
is made of ice, right?

Yeah, she gives
me the shivers.

Stop that, boy.

Can't you see that
she is not real?

You said it.
She is out of this world.

The boy is more mixed
up than a can of nuts
in a blender.

Boy, I say, boy,

how many fingers am I
holding up?

Three.

How many now?

A tornado.

They say love is blind,
but this is ridiculous.

May as well have
little fun in the mean time.

You know what, my boy.

She is out
of this world.

Let me give you a few
pointers, so you can
woo the lady.

You'd really
do that for me?

Why, sure, son.

First all, you ought to have
a romantic dinner together.

Here. Now take this plate
of spaghetti and meatballs.

Jeez, thanks.
Looks delicious.

Hey, there,
I was wondering
if you'd like

to share a meal with me.

You eat the food first.

Show her how delicious it is.

Lively.

[COUGHS]

[LAUGHS]

Thanks a lot, Bub.

That was a disaster.

Maybe its your smell.

Don't forget to wear cologne.

Not too much now though.

Whoa!

[LAUGHS]

No luck.

Here, why not try
a romantic candle.

It looks like it says "TNT".

TNT is Latin for love, boy.
Now get going.

[expl*si*n]

Boy's like a pickle
at the state fair.

Fried.

Nuts to this.

I tried it your way.

I am just gonna be myself
and show her what I'm
all about.

Hi, we haven't been
properly introduced.

I am Daffy Duck.

Boy, you're really flooding.

Hey, I am nervous too.

[SHIVERS]
You're freezing.

Let me grab something
to warm you up.

There. This is nice.

Oh, no!
Now you're crying.

Why does every women
I meet end up crying?

Don't cry.
Maybe you need
some fresh air.

Should we get
out of here?

[FOGHORN IMITATING SWAN]
Yes, take me away.

Great. Let's fly
away together.

Oops! Sorry
about that.

I've got butter wings.

You've got little
schmutz on you.

Don't worry. Nothing
a little warm dip

in a bird bath
can't fix.

I've heard of dim sum,

but that boy
is dim a lot.

[IMITATING SWAN]
Kiss me. I say
kiss me, Mr. Duck.

Really? You wanna
kiss now.

[IMITATING SWAN]
Why, I feel so faint.

Please kiss me, duck.

One kiss coming up.

[GROANS]

[GASPS] Oh my God!

[CRYING]

[FOGHORN LAUGHING]

How naive can one
silly duck be.

Oh, yeah, you
sure got

that nutty
duck, all right.

It's like taking
candy from--

Oh, no. What happened
out here?

My party is ruined.

Not so fast, pal.

I have got the solution

to all of your problems.

Thank you all,

for coming to the unveiling
of my latest

and greatest invention.

I give you, the Wile E.
Animatronic Robotic

Trends Creator 5000.

This is ingenious device

creates a fully functional,

fully real life robot,
in mere minutes.

While we wait, how
about a hand for our
party planner.

Daffy Duck!

Oh, thank you.
Thank you.

If I were you, folks,

I'd stay away
from the spaghetti
and meatball.

I say... I say these ducks
are flimflam mad...

A bamboozler.

Looks like
the ice sculpture needs
little re-freeze.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, baby!

Are you a sight
for sore eyes.

Don't knock it
if you ain't tried it.

[WITH AN ITALLIAN ACCENT]
Being a Roman guard,

is like the easiest job.

Yeah, no one would
attack a Roman empire,

'cause its so strong.

[SCREAMS]

I am Genghis Cal.

This is now my zone.

My Genghis Cal zone.

And I have conquered
everything in my zone.

I have conquered this mule.

This chariot!

I have conquered
this slice of pizza.

Yuck! Anchovies.

Hey, Doc, what
is the big idea.

That piece of pizza
wasn't for you.

If it is in my zone,
it is mine.

So I will eat all
the slices of pizza.

"All the slices"?

Say good bye
to that girlish figure.

I have almost conquered
the entire known universe.

One more continent and I
get to drink from this,

World's Best Conqueror mug.

BUGS: Oh, yeah,
that's a nice mug.

And I claim these
pizza oven as my own.

And I will make pizzas
with pineapple and ham on it.

"Pineapple and ham"?

No, I won't let you do it!

And you cannot
be in my zone.

My Cal zone.

Of course you know,

this means w*r.

What is that, grapes?

You want to be captured
by Genghis Cal?

No problem.

What is that you say,
loaf of bread?

You want
to be conquered too?

Hey, Cal.

Sure you can conquer
those carbs,

but can you conquer
these break dance moves?

What is this
break dancing?

Ah, you know
the moonwalk,

the flare, of course
the classic head spin.

Cal can easily conquer
those moves.

Hold up. Now first
you need tights

leg warmers and
an off the shoulder
sweatshirt.

I feel so free.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

I just gotta dance.

[LAUGHS]

[SCREAMS]

Boy, I am a real stinker.

And so is Cal.

That is it, rabbit.

You are going to feel
the wrath of Cal.

Okay, Doc, but I know
something you haven't
conquered yet.

You haven'tconquered trigonometry.

Of course, I have.

What is trigonometry?

It's math.

Here, take a seat.
You're gonna need
a protractor for this.

"A protractor"?

I do not need no
stinking protractor.

My brain is like
my shirt size.

Extra extra large.

Suit yourself.

In this figure,
AB and BC
are perpendicular

to CB. Now that
makes this 31 degree.

If I draw
a right triangle here

congruent with the hypotenuse of B,

which is greater than
or equal to square root
of 6.25.

It makes a second
isosceles triangle...

[GRUNTING]

...circumference
of this cycle.

So, my question
to you is,

what is the value of A?

[GROANS]

Are you sure you don't
need a protractor?

This is ridiculous!

I can do trigonometry
as well as anyone.

Oh, yeah, bet you
can't use it

to figure out how to sh**t
yourself over that wall.

Of course I can.

I weigh 250 pounds.

And I need to sh**t
myself over a wall
that is 30 feet high.

That means I have
to set this catapult,

to an angle
of 45 degrees,

and cut the rope.

Jeez, I don't know.

I will prove
it to you, rabbit.

[SCREAMS] I was right!

[CRASHES]

Yep, he showed me.

I have had
enough, rabbit.

Okay, boss,
tell you what.

You conquer my to-do list,

then you've
conquered everything.

Deal. I will have your
to-do list,

screaming for its mommy.

For starters,
scrub the dishes.

Now sort the dirty laundry.

Ew! So dirty!

Change the oil.

Nurse the baby, floss my
teeth, give Fluffy her
heart worm medicine.

[SCREAMS]
I am allergic.
[MEOWS]

[GASPS]

Are we done yet?

Just take out the trash
and we're good.

It's enough?

All the trash.

And don't forget to sort
the recyclables.

I could do this all day.

Now, for my next chore,

I am going to split
you in two.

Yikes!

[SCREAMS]

[GASPS]

Oh, Cal! Yoo-hoo!

Get out of my zone!

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS] Oh, no!

My zone walls!

Oh, no!

I am not going
to do that again.

I am going to build
another wall, to keep
you out!

There, that should
keep you--

How are you, doc?

What!

[TRIUMPHANT LAUGH]

I have kept you
out of my zone.

You will never get in.

BUGS: You're right,
and you'll never get out.

[GASPS]

At least I am
in my zone.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]